A Tale of Two Combovers


Terry had a combover. But he would not admit it. He said it was just the way his hair grew. Ran in the family, he told co-workers at the water cooler. You should have seen Grandpa, Terry would start his favorite anecdote. Grandpa’s hair went so sideways he couldn't ride a sea-saw.

“Balding?” said Terry. “Ha. Prove it.”

Teddy, too, had a combover, too. As opposed to Terry, he leaned into his hairdo. The basketball coach Gene Keady was his role model. Teddy told himself the look was distinguished, that it gave him a bit of class.

Teddy came of age as Chevy Chase was receding from popular consciousness. Scrooge McDuck was his favorite cartoon character. Unlike Terry, Teddy was simply old-fashioned. His friends made note to never speak ill of the Donald.

It was a wonder how so very different sensibilities could arrive at the same hair statement. Once, they passed on an escalator, stared at the other’s coiffure and remarked to themselves how strange a sight they had just experienced, and went about their silly ways.

The story you've just been just been told is pure fiction. No one in the real world, not even Nic Cage, would be so clueless. Not even Homer Simpson (see above, or — for more detail — the terrific Max Power episode of The Simpsons) would be so ridiculous. The truly smart money doesn’t do a Gene Keady. Instead, they look deeper into the real-world wonders of FUE, and stare lovingly at a future without limits.

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Oak Brook Hair Restoration Surgeon