I totally understand your feelings. I had a similar experience. I hated my nose and felt self conscious for years. I waited until I was 42 to change it! It is an expensive endeavor and sometimes we have to wait on things we really want. Do not beat yourself up literally or figuratively! You are much more than what you look like. A bit a patience and no self loathing! But beyond that I do understand your desire. Be proactive. Make a plan, save and look for someone who is qualified to give you the results you hope for. Good luck to you. Stay positive!