tinaesp

explanted and horrifed

Thank you Amelia for your kind words. I have read about the fat transfer and thankfully there is a light in my heart that keeps me going daily (my son). I still cannot bear to look at myself naked - I cannot allow the love of my life to look at me - not for fear of judgment, but for the absolute horror and shame I have at my body. Look, I'm 50 years old - so it's a tough age as the body changes - am hanging in there. I know what 'whatwasithinking' means by saying we should just love our bodies - but having breasts that are inside out make it really really hard to love. I wish you peace and happiness all.

I just want to get hit by a truck. I hate myself, I hate my body, I hate my stupid mind for making this decision for implants in the first place. I'm tired of crying every day and am sick to my stomach whenever I look in the mirror - and believe me - I divert my eyes at every opportunity. I have lived looking like a freak for nearly 2 years, I'm sick and I'm tired and I just cannot see anything positive. It's just not there.

Thank you for your reply. Can you tell me more about what you did without implants?

I really appreciate your thoughts. Thank you.

Thanks LeahMerril: ya know, before I took the plunge for surgery, I read some pretty scary stories and thought-ach-"that crap just happens to women who aren't healthy, or whatever" The sad truth is, no one scientifically knows why capsular contracture happens! And really, the Plastic Surgeons probably don't want to do the research to find out-I am rather jaded-but my view is, they know there's loads of us who will pay, even if there is a risk. I wish I had beautiful breasts, it sucks for me-but as I mentioned earlier-I'm the sad sack in the 5%-so the odds are great that you're in the 95% who will do just great! Good luck sweetie!