Look lady, I don't think you're lying at all and I NEVER ONCE implied that any of this was your fault (what I meant by "go easy on yourself" was that you shouldnt blame yourself), but i dont think this should be the end of your world...also, it seems unreasonable to expect to look 50/60 when youre 80...but yeah, you have reason to be upset and to put out the warning-of course! Alls i was trying to say is that your life is far from over so I think you should fight to live too. I mean ive read some of these faxel stories and am sufficently scared of fraxel b/c of them, but guess what? I have worse things than some freakin dots on my face! I mean, its not like I deserve them either. Believe me, I obsessed about my acne scars for a couple of years and all it did was make me an ugly and bitter person. I also became the most self-absorbed person ever and really unpleasant to be around (it's not like I became a bad person, but all I began to care about was my skin and the way I looked). And before you claim that your situation is different because you had such PERFECT skin and it was a barbaric laser that damaged you, i had nice skin too; I took care of it and did EVERYTHING i was supposed to. I'm also still young so I felt really bitter about that too... So i might as well have been perfect until I got to my mid twenties and suddenly had a bad bout of hormone fueled cystic acne. The cystic acne was traumatizing enough (I was used to being attractive) but the scars? Omg I was completely DEVASTATED by those. Never before had I EVER had acne scarring (suddenly i realized this was what i saw on other peoples faces--only worse) and now I felt like people treated me differently b/c of it. I didnt like seeing anyone because of it, and i became really obsessive about it. Between bouts of staring in the mirror and crying I'd do all these Internet searches trying to find out why I scarred, what i could do to prevent it, how i could fix it etc. i cursed my doctor over and over for not preventing it (how she was supposed to prevent it I don't know but I was really mad that I had done everything she told me to and was left with scarring). All i can say is, if this is the kind of crap you've been up to, the stress from this alone will rapidly accelerate your aging. It did for me. I mean you wanna talk about fat and collagen loss in the face? Stress is not conducive to collagen and elastin development, thats for sure; I am not even thirty yet but over the year that i became so miserable, i rapidly developed saggy skin, really prominent nasolabial folds and wrinkles under my eyes. I have no doubt that for me, this was directly related to the depression and stress of becoming, basically, the most miserable and obsessive person ever. So I'm not saying you shouldn't speak out and document your experience because it wasnt your review I was objecting to-- just your attitude--and by this i mean that i found it pretty upsetting to read that you think your life is basically ruined and over. That's how I used to feel and I basically let it devolve me as a person. Good luck with your appointment but don't forget to pay attention to what's on the inside too.
Okay, some of that makes sense and I have read about the holes happening to other people--also perhaps the laser DID trigger some sort of aging process--i will take you at your word, but aging IS inevitable for everyone, no matter how good they take care of themselves, no matter their genes or how much organic food they eat--it happens...so I guess what I'm trying to say is that looks aren't everything. Yeah i hate it when people say crap like this too, but its totally true that whats on the inside is more important. I mean look at your friends! Is their only value in their looks or do you like them for some other reason? What makes them enjoyable people to be around? I doubt it's their looks...I also doubt you suddenly, rapidly turned into an old hag, so try to remember that you are your own worst critic. Don't let this whole thing with your skin get you down too much or fill you with bitterness; don't obsess about what could've been if you'd done this or that; dont waste the rest of the next ten years trying to become young again because its not going to happen and it'll eventually just make you an empty person on the inside (which is worse than being aged or ugly IMO). Take it easy on yourself.
Whoa, that sucks. I don't mean to imply that you're lying (because I don't see why you would bother), but since you have no pictures it also makes me wonder if some of this might be in your head....I think it's hard to look at our skin objectively--especially after having a traumatizing treatment like this. Maybe it's not as bad as you think and you're just noticing the effects of regular aging--which will happen 2 years after fraxel as fraxel is supposedly not permanent. I mean, you say your skin was flawless, but obviously, it wasn't (really, no one's is) because if it had been, I can only assume that you wouldn't have gotten Fraxel Repair in the first place.
Anyways, I know what it's like to have damaged skin and self consciousness because of it, so I feel for you (i have acne scars and only got them in adulthood; you would not believe how bad they make me feel sometimes). All the same, try to remember that most people have wrinkles as well as visible pores and not even the celebrities can live up to their airbrushed images when you see them in person...
Also, have you considered LED light therapy? It probably doesn't sound promising after you experience with the laser, but I have a hand-held LED device (a red/infrared/yellow light from the LED man) that I use regularly and it definitely helped (and still helps) firm/plump up my skin-- also improved elasticity and pigmentation etc. I honestly think it plumped up my whole face. It wont give you the kind of results you could get with a laser, but it should definitely help you.
That sucks, but don't let it keep you inside all the time! I can't tell what you look like from these angles, but it's probably not as bad as you think and just remember that you'll be able to fix it eventually. In the meantime, maybe you could get fillers or something to help you out? Also, this doctor sounds scary! You should report her and sue for the money if she doesn't pay you back.
Personally, I think all retins can do this, as they work by literally pushing out the plugs in your pores and exfoliating your skin. I think for some people (no matter how "correctly" they use it), this sometimes leaves little dents behind that never really fill in. It's also entirely possible that they ALWAYS had these little dents and imperfections and have always been prone to them, but never actually noticed due to the thick layer of dead skin cells on the surface of their skin (retin a works by exfoliating those away). Acne leaves behind all kinds of marks and maybe retin a can also impede some people's healing because some people just don't heal well in the first place. Either way, I don't think it should scare anyone off entirely (just be more cautious and watch for it) as these kinds of imperfections--"scarred pores" or tiny little pits or dents etc--are miniscule imperfections in comparison to say, box car scars, or rolling scars. Overtime I've also noticed that retin a definitely does seem to help acne scars become a lot less noticeable (and not just the color but the texture--sometimes they get shallower).
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