I wasn't judging you and based on your responses, your age is most certainly revealed. You are very immature. If you don't want advice either way, perhaps you shouldn't be posting on a site asking for it. In my professional opinion, I believe you have severe depression and need to seek help. Medication is the road to your recovery.
My nose had been broken 4 times before, hence why I got it fixed. You are right, I am older and much more mature than what you have exhibited here. I have no self-esteem issues and I know exactly who I am and love the surgery my doctor did. It doesn't sound like you even know who you are yet, as a person, but that will come with age.
Good luck
I too had projectile vomiting after my surgery, but not until later that night. I was throwing up with blood gushing down my face. I had no packing in my nose, which from everything I have heard, is a GOOD thing! My doctor was great and didn't charge me for my rhinoplasty over and above my sinus/septum surgery. He included it all with my insurance. I believe most really good surgeons will. anyway, my doctor had a light hand for sure...I didn't have severe bruising around my eyes or nose. In fact, my nose doesn't bother me that much. I think your situation is dependent on your surgeon.
As for your depression, I think you need to wait 6 months to know if you like your new nose. If you had such a low self-esteem before the surgery, your surgeon should have referred you to speak to a counselor before he performed surgery on you. Mine was careful to examine my reasons and my expectations for the surgery before he agreed to do it. I was in a very good place about it and had wanted it done my whole life.
Sounds like you need to talk to a psychologist immediately to help you with your self-image issues.
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