shenanigans

Dumbest Thing I've Ever Done

Siouxie, The consult could have been better. Apparently, the result of surgically fixing the corner of the eye is completely unpredictable. I'm unwilling to have another unpredictable surgery. I guess I will do my best to live with the consequences of my original decision. I'm currently in therapy, and considering medication.

Thank You, Siouxie for your advice. I have since cancelled my appt. at the medspa. I am still planning on trying Restylane to conceal the bags, but plan on consulting a board certified plastic surgeon instead. I am also still planning on a revision with a occ. surgeon. I go for my second consult July 15th. I'm praying it will be a VERY minor procedure. I only plan on revising the corner of my left eye that is being pulled down. If a canthopexy is the only thing that will fix it, then I will do my best to learn to live with it. I do not want a canthopexy. However, I strongly believe that it is only being pulled down due to the way it was sewn, as it has been this way since day one after surgery. I have learned to accept that one lid is bigger than the other, and you're right, lots and lots of people have one eye that is larger. Oh how I wish I could go back to the days where I didn't examine every single person's eyes. lol I'm sure my issue is not thyroid related, but I appreciate your advice and concern. I will do my best to keep you posted.

Siouxie, No, my lids have not evened out. However, the large bag that I had under my left eye has gotten noticeably better. Although, it is still there. I go out without my sunglasses on now, but NEVER do I feel pretty. I have my second consultation with an opth. on July 7th for revision. If he can fix it, it wouldn't be until August, as I will be six months post op then. My doctor offered to do it, at no charge of course, but I feel it should be handled by someone with more specific training of the eye. At this point, the revision part seems like a nightmare with the possibility of making things worse, but I can't live feeling this way for the rest of my life. I long for the day when I can talk to someone face to face, and not be consumed with insecurity and the thought "I hope they don't notice". It still bothers me a lot when my husband is close, looking at my eyes. Yes, I still feel guilty for doing it, and I try not to dwell on "if only I hadn't". I have an appointment to see about getting Restylane placed high on the cheek bone to try to camouflage the bags or festoons, whatever they are. That even scares me. I just keep thinking "haven't you learned your lesson"? However, if i'm already so insecure that I don't even want to look my husband in the face, how much worse can it get? To sum it all up, I still wish I hadn't. There has been no positive thing to come from it. I've only made things worse. However, I have a hope that it may be fixed. At the same time, I struggle with the thought of having surgery again, and whether it will turn out right. When you had your revision, what did they do, and how far post op were you? Did they lower one, or make the other higher? What kind of doctor did it?

I know you didn't mean it to be mean. It is just sad to hear that someone who is earlier post-op than me looks better. It is discouraging to say the least. I'm glad yours looks better, though. I wouldn't wish what I'm going through on anyone.

Man, that hurts.