Freaking Out!! - Vancouver, BC

So today I'm 3 wks po. I've never been the person who gets blue or depressed, ever!!! Not even after my body went thought the changes of pregnancy 4Xs. I feel worse about myself now then I did before..... Never thought it would be this way. I'm happy my breast turned out good but have literally balled my eyes out about my TT. Perhaps it's because I feel like the outcome is not at all what I expected, or maybe its the guilt I'm feeling about spending all that $ and not getting near the result I thought. The idea of being able to wear a bikini again after 4 kids was sooo exciting! And at this point I'm so sad because I truly feel like I will never ever again:( at this point happy my diastasis is fixed, but the fact that when I sit I still have a roll is just the tip of the iceberg for me. I haven't even discussed this with my PS as I don't see him for another 3 wks, and I feel really bad as he's a nice guy, but honestly feel like I will break down in his office and don't want to freak him out and figured waiting till my 6 wk ck would be good as I wil have given it time. Anyway I just posted a picture of me sitting and I can see what I mean!!! Bloody awful!!!

2 weeks 2 days po. Starting to be a bit discouraged:( I am either really swollen or somehow this TT has made me look fatter;( I look way more full in my midsection and I'm hoping this goes away as it basically took the mommy pooch I had around my BB and moved it down. Please tell me I didn't go through all this only to look worse!

Im 1 week + 2 days p.o and an Healing well. Stopped pain meds after 2 nights. Only Advil for 2 days after that and now nothing!!! And felt soooo much better not taking those awful pain meds. they made me feel sick. Got drains out at 4 days p.o Hallelujah!!! I hated those things!!! Breasts looks amazing!!! Ended up going with the full TT afterall, which I'm happy about, just wish that he would have been able to have gotten my belly Button ring scar out:( and the atrerch marks that were above it. he was unable to, so I will need to have a revision to help settle the yucky scar once I heal more. I knew this was a possibility as most of my laxity was under the BB, but since I needed full plication he was going to try his best. I know he did. Also wish my BB was a touch bigger. We had the discussion about his bb style a head of time and I knew he aired on the smaller side, but yeesh its smaller than I thought. Better then my hooded nightmare I had before, but way smaller than I anticipated. Anyway now its just the waiting game:) one day at a time