Breast Implants: Stories

I feel like I've spent most my life obsessed by boobs and unlike most girls who do this procedure, I actually had a generous pair from a VERY early age. I got my boobs at 9 years old and I was disgusted in them, I hated them, kids were mean and I did anything I could to hide them. By 13 I was an E cup, can you imagine?

My problem is that I was quite chunky teen. I'm 5ft 3.5 and at my heaviest I was probably about 145 lbs. I yoyo dieted for awhile and at my lightest was 105lbs. Im 22 now and have been around 120lbs for the past few years but the fluctuations have ruined my boobs. They feel like empty sacks. Ideally i'd like to be slimmer but I always stop myself from exercising or dieting too hard because the smaller I get the worse my boobs look and I hate them already as it is. My mom in 58 and has perkier boobs than i do!

What puts me off:
I'm really worried the Dr will tell me I need a lift. I so don't want that. I'm 22 and my boobs already look like this, the last thing I want is big scars.
I'm really worried that if i say no to the lift the Dr will say ok, but you have so much skin to fill you'll need a big implant, which I also don't want. I hate the huge round fake look and I'm worried I could end up like that, I plan on telling very few people and I want it to look as natural as possible.
I doubt I will get much support at home, both my parents think this kind of thing is ridiculously vain and idiotic but oddly, this is my least worrisome worry!
Capsular Contracture- i read in to this and saw that it occurs in 5% of boobs jobs, that seems quite high?!

I currently wear a 34C but I feel empty and flat and saggy. I want to feel full and perky.
NO ONE sees me naked, ever, not even boyfriends I am that self conscious. I want to feel happy with myself. I want to feel good naked and good in a bikini and confident. I don't feel that way now.

Due to University I can't actually have the surgery until June so I know having any consultations now is too early but I'm just desperate to chat to someone about it or have some advice. No one in my life has done this before. I need someone who has done it and knows what they are chatting about!

PS i'm decorating at the min, my house is never as messy as it is in these pics!

So! First consultation has been booked for March 11th with a Dr who specialises in reconstructive surgery for breast cancer patients. I am v excited because i've seen his 'work' and it is really good.
I also told my Mom, up until know she has thought (or maybe prayed) that i was joking. I explained to her exactly what i don't like and how it makes me feel and she asked me 'Does this actually really bother you and upset you?' and I said 'yes! I wouldn't be going to see a surgeon to discuss doing something about it if it was just a mild annoyance'. Thankfully she said she will come with me.

Now I just need to find another surgeon or 2 but some of their sales techniques really put me off. I've spoke to a few companies and felt like they were selling me a phone or a car. I want to deal with people who will be straight with me and not people who will tell me what i want to hear. The search continues....

My main worry still is that my boobs are quite low, which I imagine means i have a lot of space and skin to fill, which I imagine means I will end up with quite a big implant. I dont want boobs bigger than a D. Guess I have to wait until March 11th to find out!

So my first consultation is next week and I am SO nervous. Is it weird to be nervous for the consultation?

I REALLY want to explain myself well but in conversation I'm not so good with words. I've been really trying to think hard about how best to describe what it is I don't like about my boobs and what it is I actually want from this but I'm not finding it that easy.

I have hated my boobs since day 1. I was teased so badly. Other kids were still wearing vests and there I was in my underwired bra, aged 10. I'm starting to worry that maybe I do just have some weird boob hang up, and boob job or not I'm never going to feel good about them? Does that make sense? I do still feel towards them like i did then, ashamed, thinking they're ugly etc etc. Do i just sound weird now?

It doesn't help that the few people I've talked to about this have all *insisted* I don't need to do it. Maybe my boobs aren't as heinous as I'm thinking but they haven't seen them and it's how I feel about myself that's important, right?

Anyway i'm hoping for A LOT of clarity after next week. Fingers crossed.

For various reasons, I had to cancel my consultations in March but I have finally found time in my hectic school schedule to see a surgeon tomorrow. The Dr my appointment is with specialises in reconstruction for breast cancer patients and it makes me feel a bit more confident that he'll aim for something natural as that is my main hang up.
I think a lot of my boob hate is psychological, I got them when I was 8/9 and i was so embarrassed and got bullied. I didn't grow in to a feminine form and love it, i grew into it way too early and ended up feeling ashamed of my body. I think its something I've carried into adulthood, as crazy as that sounds and its been difficult to assess whether or not a BA will actually help me. I have been worried that regardless of how amazing my post op boobs are, the hang up in my head wont go away and i'll still feel the same. Im hoping tomorrow will make my mind up for me.
I want to be really clear with what I tell him tomorrow. I think I've settled with 'I dislike how low they sit on my chest and how empty they feel. I want something perkier and fuller but I'm not aiming to have large breasts and I'd be over the moon with happiness if I ended up a small D'.
I'm feeling a little nervous but not as much as I did back in March. Im that self conscious of my boobs even the thought of getting them out in front of a dr, a medical professional, makes me feel really uneasy. Pathetic huh??? I am excited though to hear what he has to say. Let's see what tomorrow brings...

Just wrote a long post then accidentally closed the window, gahh!!
I had my first consultation this morning and i LOVE the dr, what a great bedside manner! He has 16 years experience doing this kind of surgery but specialises in reconstructive surgery for breast cancer patients.
He started off by talking to me for quite a long time just about me and my life, what i study, what i like to do etc.
Then he went into the measurements, this bit was likely just a few minutes but felt a hell of a lot longer! He took so many. Also- i never realised how gross it was when someone picks your boob up and lets go and it just sort of FLOPS!
Then he asked how much research I'd do and said 'I apologise if I come across patronising but I need to understand you know all your options and all the risks so you can fully understand why Im giving you the advice I give you, you can ask the questions you need to and come to a decision that you are happy with'.
He was writing and drawing the full time we were chatting and he split it into 3 areas- Implant, incision and placement and with everyone he spoke about each option you have and the benefits and risks associated.
My summary of what i wanted was 'I dont want HUGE boobs, I dont even particularly want big boobs but I do want them firmer and fuller and I understand that will likely take me to a D' so he kind of kept that in mind all along.
He suggested a silicone submammary textured implant of 260-280cc's.
I cant remember what he called it but he suggested a kind of implant that doesn't leak, is it a co-gel implant?
He basically said I had more than enough tissue to cover an implant and if i want a really natural look it would pay off in the future because if i dont have great skin elasticity and my natural boob starts to droop, the implant would remain high. To be honest, im glad he said that because Im quite queasy and the thought of going under the muscle makes me want to be sick!
He told me he generally advises to go 2 cup sizes bigger because no one in 16 years has said 'i went too big' but a lot of people say 'i went too small'. I was super cautious and he gave me the different sizers ranging from 360 to 260 and 275 was what i felt most comfortable with but its still SO hard to tell!
I just feel so happy, there is an end to this self loathing!! Ha!!
He basically told me even if i now think I want to do it to leave it a couple of weeks, and if im still sure, call and make the appointment. If by that point i'm not sure but havent completely changed my mind he said he's happy for me to go back and go through it all again, which is nice since all of this is free.

So here is a question for you all- I love this dr, I've seen his work in real life, it's GREAT (I knew the girl 3 years before I found out she had a boob job, i didnt even guess at that stage, she told me). Should i still go see other dr's??

So I have decided I definitely want to go ahead with the surgery but figuring out when to do it is just SO difficult.
I have a few holidays planned for this summer and don't want to take the risk because should anything go wrong I'd probably need more time than I have between breaks away.
My other option is have the surgery done before Christmas and use the time between Christmas and New Year to recover and then go back to work as usual.
The only thing is I'm worried about people noticing. I am going to work in a very male dominated industry where it's hard enough to progress as a woman anyway. I don't want them to know that I've done this but i'm wondering if its really possible to keep it quiet. Is there anything you can do to make it less noticable?
If you have had a BA and chosen to keep it to yourself, have you had people notice anyway?