I've wanted to change my nose ever since i noticed...
I've wanted to change my nose ever since i noticed a bump when I hit puberty. In those days I was waif thin and in hind sight I was pretty, although I never thought so at the time. My first boyfriend pointed out that I had a 'Roman nose', and that's where my insecurities started. In recent years I've noticed that my previously pretty front view has become crooked, not terribly but enough that I now avoid all photographs. I had also started to feel a little insecure about wrinkles that had cropped up on my forehead so I had some botox. When it wore off i had wrinkles around my eyes that weren't there before so I had those treated,but I wasn't happy with the outcome as I felt it had actually created wrinkles under my right eye that weren't there before. When I pointed it out to the woman who did it she said " well you're not symmetrical, surely you must know that?" well, that was it, from that moment on I felt hideously ugly. Previously I had thought that most of my misgivings about my nose were probably in my head, but now I had proof that other peopel noticed it too. I felt so depressed that night and finally blurted it out to my husband. I told him how I'd hated my nose for a long long time and I really didn't want to feel that way anymore. I told him I wanted surgery. All these years I've never mentioned it to him because I didn't want him to look at my any differently...he is incredibly good looking and I've never understood why he chose me! He was so understanding though, he told me that he thought I was beautiful and the botox nurse was a complete bitch to say that, but if I really wanted to change it then he would support me and pay for the surgery. What a relief!
Unfortunately I am too chicken to tell my parents, so that has been weighing very heavily on my mind since i decided to go for it. I had my consultation with Mr harries who works for the Spire hospital group, he is an ENT who also specializes in cosmetic nose surgery. he told me that I have a very deviated septum that is partially blocking both nostrils, and I also have enlarged turbinates due to intrinsic rhinitis, as well as a hump on my bridge whish deviated slightly to one side. He was very nice and completely understood where I was coming rom and what i wanted done, and he agreed that it would greatly improve my appearance. he also said that the tip of my nose is very nice, and once the septum is straightened it would be symmetrical again. i told him that i'm not telling anyone about it ans asked how i would look when the cast comes off, and he told me there wouldn't be any swelling at all! Just possibly a little residual bruising...I've seen plenty of reviews on here of people with a LOT of swelling though, so I'm not entirely convinced! I ahve my second consult with him on the 5th Aug, 2 days before my surgery, when he will show me my morphed photos and also before and afters of previous patients.
So that's where I'm at now, only a few days to go and the only person who knows is my husband! I've toyed with the idea of telling people about the functional septoplasty and leaving out the cosmetic part, but I'm worried that once they know I'm having something done they will notice the cosmetic changes, and I'm far too ashamed to admit to those! The alternative is to not mention it, make some excuses as to why i can't see anyone for a week and then hope no one notices anything when my cast is off! Am I mad? Possibly!! I would love to hear from anyone with similar guilt issues!
Tomorrow is the big day!!
My op is tomorrow!! I have told my parents about tje functional aspect of it but not the cosmetic, I still can't bring myself to, but I have told my sister everything and she was really cool about it so very relieved about that! I saw the surgeon again yesterday and he showed me my morphed photos, I was pretty stunned when I saw the new me!! Even though the changes are subtle, taking away the bump makes a huge difference! I loved the way it looked, but at the same time I can't believe that no one will notice. Mr Harries said you would bw surprised, people notice that something is different but they just don't expect it to be your nose so they put it down to hair or weight change. I'm not convinced though. My friends are pretty smart ladies...we will see! After seeing the morphs I know for sure that my parents will notice so am going to say that I've asked the surgeon to shave the hump down whilst he's in there!
I asked him to explain the procedure to me. He will break my nose by using a tiny 2mm needle type thing and a tiny 'toffee hammer' to tap all along the length on both sides, in effect perforating the bone which jw can then detach with his thumbs...yuck! He'll cut across the collumella , ( I think that's what it's called!) The bit in the middle of the nose at the front, and peel the skin back to expose the nose structure. He will then remove the bump and take a teeny tiny bit off the bottom angle too to give a more feminine curve. He will then is use a special tool to crush my removed cartillege up into a paste and use i5 to bad out the pinched bit of my tip ever so slightly to soften the look of it. Then he'll scrape away the scar tissue from behind my piercing scar, detach and stitch into place the septum and close me up, the whole thing will take about 2 and a half hours. I will prob have bruising in the eye area, and after the cast comes off my nose will swell a little but he said not much. I wish I'd got a print out of my morphs but he did say I will get a hard copy eventually so will post them here when I do ?
7 Aug 2014
Day of treatment
Hardly slept at all last night, my stomach was in knots and my thoughts in turmoil, wondering if I should pull out and save myself all of this stress and worry. But I've waited my whole life for this and I keep telling myself that once it'a done people will just have to accept it. I am very worried that my mum ( who is looking after my kids this afternoon so hubby can come up) will start asking loads of questions and wanting to visit me...they assume I at the general hospital as they know nothing about the cosmetic side of my op. I'm glad they know about the septoplasty tho and I was able to point out my wonky septum, so when I tell them about the bump removal afterwards they will know this wasn't purely cosmetic. I suppose what all this comes down to is that I am ashamed of having cosmetic surgery. I worry other people will think I'm pathetic and vain, and I know my mum would nit agree with me spending so much money on this. I'm sat in my private room now waiting, Mr Harries has been to see me and told me that I will be last on his list today, so it's going to long morning...I'm starving already!!!
7 Aug 2014
Day of treatment
Had my op at 3pm, it took about 2hrs and spent anothr hour and a half im recovery as I was very slow to wake up. My throat was very very sore at first but not so bad after pain meds. Nose is quite sore inside and unfortunately have major bruising and swelling developing under my eyes and my top lip is very swollen. Have been a bit of an emotional wreck crying for no reason but thats prob just an after effect of the anaesthetic. I have a really lovely nurse assigned to me called Elaine who has been so sweet. Hubby was here with me until I went down and was here when I came back to my room, he is so lovely and I'm feeling so lucky to have him. Mr Harries came to see me in recovery and said it went really well. Can't believe how bruised I am though, have beem popping arnica pills for days as well!!
Day after surgery
Had an awful night in hospital last night, was so so tired but every time I nodded off I was awakened when my mouth closed and my breathing stopped. Came home at 11am and mamaged to get an hr nap earlier but still incredibly tired. I think the co-dydramol that they gave me to take for pain relief is doping me up a bit as I've been feeling dizzy and spaced out. I have terrible bruising but have been icing, really hope it doesnt spread any further. Have given up on the drip pad and am looking forward to being allowed to rinse my nose out with saline spray tomorrow...at the moment it's completely blocked. I'll leave it at that for today but will update again tomorrow.
Day 2, feeling grotty :(
Had a better nights sleep last night in my own bed but still woke lots of times gasping for breath, I can't seem to keep my mouth open whilst sleeping! Bruising is still really bad, but maybe a tad less swollen than yesterday. I'm quite concerned though that my splint doesn't seem straight, and the tip of my nose looks uneven. Has anyone else had this? The tape is coming up on the right side as well, will this affect the outcome? Would love some feedback from people who've been here. I've been feeling pretty wiped out today, dizzy and weak, and with my concerns about the shape of the tip I'm not feeling very positive right now.
Slept much better last night, flushing with saline spray and using the decongestant has cleared my nostrils a lot. The decongestant is called Otrivine and was given to me at the hospital along with saline spray, painkillers antibiotics and ointment for the stitches. I've noticed a lot of people on here suffering because they can't sleep upright, I asked if I needed to do that and was told no, it's only neccesary for the first night following surgery. I've just added an extra pillow so now have 3, and I use memory foam neck pillow too so am sleeping with my head slightly elevated but it's not umconfortable. I also have my humidifier running all night which helps I think as my throat hasnt been as dry.
My bruising seems a little better today, some parts have gone a bit yellowish and the swelling under my eyes has gone down a bit. My cheeks are a bit puffy today though! The tip of my nose is a bit sore but nothing unbearable. I still feel slightly dizzy and unsteady on my feet, and I get tired out really quickly. Cast off day can't come quick enough!
Day 4, longest day and not over yet :(
Today has been the worst, woke up feeling super nauseous and felt that way all day long. Hubby went back to work today so I was alone with the kids and I found it really hard to cope. I ended up having to go and lie down in the afternoon, not nice at all. I had really bad nausea through most of my last pregnancy and it felt just like that, my mouth was constantly filling with saliva and I had to keep spitting, felt kind of hungry but unlike pregnancy sickness eating didn't get rid of it. When my husband got home at 5 I called the hospital where I had my op, I didn't know exactly who to speak t so just phoned the main number and explained to the person who answered the phone what was going on. She tried to put me through to a nurse with no luck, so I had to wait for a callback. About 10 minutes later I got the call from a nurse called Jane, who was the rudest, coldest, most unsympathetic person I think I've ever come across. It was all far too much effort for her, she didn't ask any questions or offer any advice, when I asked if it could be the antibiotics she said it could, when I asked if there was anything I could do about it she said no. I asked if I couldn't have some anti nausea tablets and she said try your GP! Well obviously my GO was shut at that point so I pointed that out and asked if it wasn't part of my aftercare to get help from the hospital, at which point she just went completely silent. I waited for a few seconds then said "hello?" to which she very coldly said hello back. At that point I was nearly i tears, I asked her again if I could get something prescribed and she said "You want anti emetics do you?" in the most horrible tone of voice, she then very curtly said she would phone the pharmacist and my husband better hurry up and get down there as the pharmacy would be closing soon. I got off the phone and burst into tears, I was struggling not to throw up and just in total shock over her attitude. Hubby went off to the hospital and she phoned again to say my pills were at the front desk, her tone was exactly the same, like I was a royal pain in the ass for her. When hubby got to the hospital the pills weren't waiting for me at all, but while he was explaining the receptionist got a call, during which she got pretty irate with whoever was speaking to her, saying things like "I beg your pardon, what did you say?" etc, when she got off the phone explained that she'd been talking to one of the nurses, turns out it was this Jane woman! She told hubby that she is absolutely horrible and said I ought to make a complaint, I might just do that tomorrow.
So I finally got my anti emetics, they didn't make mush of a difference so had a pretty miserable evening, but at least the took the edge off the nausea a bit. Went to bed about 10pm but woke up at 2am and couldn't get back to sleep. After 2 hrs of trying I'm up and typing this! I cannot wait for this whole experience to be over, I still can't breathe properly, I had a brief respite on day 3 when my nose was pretty much clear all day but is no back to being completely blocked. My stomach is swollen and painful and my nose hurts. It's sore under the tip and I feel pressure on the bridge. I have no idea what my nose will look like when the cast comes off because of this stupid plastic cast, all I can see of my nose is the horribly swollen tip and sore columella. I can also see that my septum is still visible in my right nostril so it must still be deviated, not as badly as before but not the perfectly straight septum that the surgeon told me I had immediately after surgery. I haven't had a single phone call or visit from my parents either which is quite upsetting, my mum text me a couple of times on the day of surgery but nothing since I've been home. Considering the amount of stress I felt about what they would say etc. I am pretty disappointed that they obviously don't give a s**t. I had hoped they might offer to take the kids out as they know I'm home alone with them but no such luck.
My cast comes off on Thurday at 4.30 pm so looking forward to that, just hope I don't get Jane the bitch nurse doing it!
Day 6...the misery continues
So have spent my 3rd day in a row feeling horribly nauseous, and today I've had a truly horrific headache all day too. Bruising hasn't improved at all which I'm really disappointed about... I had hoped I'd look almost normal by the time m6 cast came off but instead I'll still be black and blue :( my nose is pretty sore inside and at the front where the stitches are, and I feel a lot of pressure on the bridge. Still very congested, without decongestant it's completely blocked both sides. Right now if I was asked whether I would recommend this op I would say no way, it's been an absolutely horrible experience and it doesnt feel like the end is anywhere near yet. I'm just hoping and praying that when the cast come off tomorrow I'll get some good news. Keep your fingers crossed for me!!
Cast off... yay!!
Got my cast off and stitches out, what a relief! I'm very happy with my new smooth profile and the swelling isn't too bad, I am a bit concerned that under the tip on one side is quite bulbous but hubby says it's probably swelling... I really hope he's right! other than that though I'm amazed at how normal it looks, if it wasn't for the awful bruises you wouldn't be able to tell I had surgery a week ago!
Day 10, swollen and bruised
It's been 10 days since my op, 3 since the cast came off. Yesterday the nausea finally went away which was a huge relief, unfortunately my nose has bee really stuffy and running, maybe I'm getting a cold. I have noticed that my nose had been swelling overnight, this morning it was so bad that I had to ice it as it looked huge! I'm a bit concerned that the bump is coming back, maybe it's just swelling but my nose definitely looked much nicer when the cast first came off. I'm so sick of these black eyes now! I thought they'd be gone long before now, I've been using arnica cream several times a day and they are shrinking a tiny bit every day but it's taking so long! I'm completely sick of hiding in the house and just want to get back to normal. I'm also quite worried about the hard lumps that have appeared on either side of my nose under my eyes, the one on my right is quite big and feels like bone. The front is still lopsided and looks more so when it's swollen... I'm really starting to worry about needing revision surgery, I never wanted to go through this again but if these issues don't resolve themselves I know I won't be happy with it.
3 wks today
Just a quick update, had my follow up appointment and was reassured by surgeon that various niggles are all healing in progress and will settle down. He said my nose is still very swollen and also I'm suffering increased congestion and irritation because of stitches inside that are holding the septum in place, my nose is trying to expel what it sees as a foreign body! He gave me a steroid spray which has so far made no difference at all, sneezing non stop and can't breath through one nostril! I don't like my nose from the front aat all, it look huge and wonky but I'm trusting that it will get better as the swelling goes down. Profile is good apart from the extra length due to swelling, seeing friends at the weekend so a bit nervous to see if anyone notices, still have remnants of bruises too which look like bad under eye shadows, I look like I haven't slept for a week!