4 Surgeries and Need Advice (37 Y/o Female)

My question is a big one:I am a 37 soon to be 38 year female who had rhinoplasty 17 years ago.I knew I would need it redone one day b/c of what I could afford and the surgeon then said we were only taking the hump down and not touching other parts that needed work.Nonetheless he moved to the states shortly after.I got what I paid for and I knew that.

About 4-5 years ago I went for revision rhinoplasty.I felt I chose a good surgeon.Well after the revision I did not see much of a difference and he agreed to refine the work.

This is where the trouble started.Now I was going for my 3rd surgeory.At this point I wanted more of a curve in my nose going upward ,lifted b/c it kind drooped and a lump/bump taken more down on the right side.He convinced me instead to add a graft on the left side to help even out the right side.The graft/cartlidge was taken from my left ear.I expressed that I was happy with the left side of my nose and really wanted the right side taken down to match the left side.But he is the expert so I agreed and went with his recommendation.What happened was I ended up with a BIG lump/bump on my left side that looks blanched(as I am of east indian decent-light brown skin),lost support in my ear as no ear phones stay in my ear other than the kind that go around the ear, b/c of where the cartlidge was taken from.

I still do not like the fact that right side needs to be taken down.It is still bigger than where the graft was added to the left side.I can see what his vision was.But I would have preferred the right side being taken down to match the left side as I liked the left side. But now my focus is on this blanched looking lump/bumps on the left side.

So after a 4th surgery he agreed to reduce the bump lump he placed on the left side I never wanted anyway.Nonethess afte the 4th surgery it is still there.I look worse now.He has been very nice.

What i realized through all this has been there is no harmony and balance to my nose.Before he placed the graft I would say my nose was attractive but could have used some refinement.Now it looks like a parrot, lumpy, bumpy and not natural.He also he wanted to keep my nose within my heritage????I realize what he wanted was not what i wanted.

Other than the intial cost for the surgery he has done the 2 revisions at no cost.But I have lost time off work, lied to friends family and disappeared after the surgeries.Having a surgery once, twice o.k. but I am sooo embarrassed now.I definetly know this lump/bump has to be taken down or removed.It should never have been done b/c I didn't want it,need it and look worse now.His vision was different than mine.True he has the experience but I have to live with the look I like in the end suited to my ethnicity or not.Other than my original surgey when I was 19 I have had 3 revisions with him.

The pro was that my nose did improve and rhinoplasty is wonderful.The second revision is what changed that b/c the surgeon didwhat he wanted and not what I wanted.I did the rhinoplasty to look more attractive and increase my self esteem which it did.