Well I'm Finally Doing It...- Toledo, OH

Okay so here's my story. :) I am 39 years old...

Okay so here's my story. :) I am 39 years old and I decided to get implants 14 years ago because I was very insecure with my A-cup breasts and was so envious of other women with voluptuous curves. When I was 25, I decided to go forward with the surgery, much to the delight of my boyfriend at the time...he practically shouted "YEAHHHHH! GO FOR IT!" when I brought the subject up to him.

I am 5'7, weighed about 135 lbs at the time of the surgery, and had 540cc silicone implants placed under the muscle. After I got them, I loved them, but I was also pretty insecure about them. I always wondered if people could feel them when I would give hugs or if they secretly whispered, "Oh, you know THOSE aren't real!" just by seeing me walk by. I never flaunted my bigger boobs, but I was thrilled to be able to wear bras without 6 inches of padding and sport fitted tops without having to slouch to hide my non-existent figure. I didn't tell anyone about the surgery except a very select few and it's been my dirty little secret ever since.

Fast-forward 14 years, a husband (who thankfully is not the same boob-job pushing boyfriend), and 2 kids, and I now thoroughly despise my implants. Several years ago I started experiencing some health issues...constant fatigue, memory problems, trouble concentrating, joint pain in my wrists, elbows and knees, adrenal fatigue, melasma, thyroid issues...and they have slowly but progressively gotten worse. Only after reading the stories on this site did I realize my sufferings could be related to these obnoxious implants! So many other women here with symptoms almost identical to mine and who felt improvement the minute they had their implants removed. So I am beyond excited to be getting mine out too and hopeful that I will be feeling a lot better soon! :)

I hate everything about having these inside my body...not just because they are destroying my health, but also because they are so uncomfortable now. My left breast has bottomed out, causing the implant to slide down, and I am having sharp shooting pains on that side. My doctor said he suspects that my left implant has ruptured, so that really scares me! He said he is going to do a full capsulectomy on both breasts and since I'm not having a lift, I'm pretty scared of what the outcome is going to be. I went from an A-cup to a C-cup after surgery and then up to DD during pregnancy, and now back down to a full C or D. That's a lot of skin stretching! My doctor has urged me to have a lift or at least a smaller implant put in, but I've rejected both options and he has informed me with an air of annoyance that I will not be happy with my end result. So many women have had great results without opting for a lift after explant and I'm really hoping I don't end up as hideous as my surgeon expects me to be. I'm afraid of being left with zero remaining breast tissue (courtesy of the double capsulectomy) and merely flaps of hanging skin. But pressing onward and am so excited because soon I will be free of these wretched toxic implants! :) :) :)

Your story is A LOT like yours. I just got mine removed without a lift 2 days ago. Just wanted to offer support and say I think your doing the right thing. My implants had infection inside of them.

I'm glad you have a supportive man now! Just a few more weeks and you'll be free and natural again. I'll be looking for your updates.

Thank you for sharing your story. You PS sounds like he could use a crash course in empathy. I hope he deserves your kindness in giving him the benefit of the doubt. It must be very difficult for you to hear his low expectations. I hope you can gain some confidence in him before you have it done. I am having my surgery in the morning. My PS is very straight to the point, no small talk all business. Which I admit would have felt better if she were a little more feeling . But I have to realize she isn't my support group just my surgeon. So.... AllComingout I so much admire your courage and resolve and wish you a great out come!

Added Photos

The photos didn't upload during the first post so here they are! :)
I went on 2 consults and neither one even suggested replacement to me!! I read on here that a lot do though. I chose the 2nd PS even though the 1st one was listed here as an expert. I just felt more comfortable with PS #2. I was just explanted yesterday so I don't know what I look like yet. Hoping for the best as I was pretty small before BA. Either way, I'm just glad they are out. Honestly, based on your before pics I think you are going to look great!!! Good luck !!
Aw thanks cindyrella!! :) :) I'm hoping you're right! Congratulations on getting yours out yesterday - how great that you are implant free (lucky!). I'll follow your progress - hope you heal quickly! :)
Glad that you didn't let your PS talk you into something you didn't want.  For every 1 explant these doctors do, they probably do 20 implants!  (would love to know statistics)  So they are probably used to women looking full and fake.  They have no clue how it feels!!  Only 2 more weeks!  Good luck!

Anyone with small children??

As my surgery date draws near, I obviously have lots of uncertainty about what's going to transpire the days/hours/months that follow my explant. One of my biggest causes of anxiety is how I am going to successfully recuperate with 2 small children. I have 2 boys, 3 years and 18 months. My youngest is very clingy and only wants me when he's crying and needs comfort. How on earth I'm going to hold him with drains and bandages? My husband is taking a week off from work to help, but unfortunately my boys are Mama's boys and they don't want Daddy when they're upset. The thought of pushing my babies away when they try to crawl up on my lap or not pick up my toddler when he raises his arms up to me is torture. Has anyone out there gone thru this surgery with babies/small children? If so, would love to hear your stories or advice.

PS...Just have to say how much I love and appreciate you ladies...since posting my review, I have been so uplifted by all your support and encouragement! A huge thank you to all of you - if I could hug you I would. :)
I am getting so friggin sick of these docs telling women they're going to look horrible, scary, saggy. I have not seen ONE woman here who looks bad, let alone scary post-explant. The docs don't understand. Search this site--there are several bottomed out women whose results were amazi (if I could remember their screen names I'd tell u). Perhaps do a forum post and ask for women's opinions. You're gonna be so happy!!!
Thank u for ur review, I'll look forward to seeing your after photos x
I just read your review too; you're lucky you don't have to have a capsulectomy and it will be a relatively simple surgery. Keep us posted on what you decide to do after seeing the physiologist! :)

Not having doubts, but hating movies and TV right now

Okay so this is an very honest site, so I'm going to be honest with what I'm feeling today and vent a little bit. No doubts that I want to go forward with my surgery and still looking sooo forward to having these implants out of my body, but even with that said, I have to say it's been rough watching movies and TV this weekend. Why are women's boobs so glorified in every commercial, preview, movie, and TV show in existence? One moment I'm thinking, "Whoo-hoo, can't wait until these ridiculous implants are gone and I'm a natural, beautiful, healthy woman again!" and in the very next moment, I'm watching a young, blond woman with giant breasts wash a car while a group of men leer and drool (no, I'm not watching any naughty stations, just rent the the movie "Cool Hand Luke" and you'll know what I'm talking about). :) But I see that, and suddenly I find myself biting my lip and staring down at my shirt, envisioning that underneath I might soon be sporting the worst post-explant breasts ever in the history of the world. And self-doubt creeps in...I start worrying about what I truly will look like and how it might affect my marriage....will I be hiding myself forever in flannel pajamas while my husband glares at me from across the bed? Will my insecurities about having unnatural, fake boobs be replaced with even worse insecurities? I hate that I do this kind of thinking - it's so negative and doesn't help anything, so why do I let these thoughts creep in and fester? But unfortunately they do and it makes things just a little bit scarier. On the flip side though, I have all of your reviews and pictures that prove I'm being a little dramatic and causing myself unneeded worry. So many of you look great and have had results above and beyond what your PS predicted. I just gotta stay focused on that and say "big deal, who cares" when impossibly perfect breasts find their way on my television.

Thanks for listening to my venting... hugs!
So emotionally honest and real!!! This was the. Best!!!! Thank you;) My explant is This Nov 18...
Also just wanted to mention that the cost of my explant was covered by insurance because of my capsular contraction. Since you have ruptured yours will be too I'd think. Hope that might help!
Oh I am following your post now @allcomingout! My story is similar. Implanted with large (500-something) implants, left is bottomed, confirmed rupture... Small baby. However I'm still breastfeeding and I really don't want to wean my little bug because she is NOT ready. All the surgeons I've seen say that there is no risk. That I can take a watch and see approach with yearly MRIs. I just want them out. But an explant and capsulectomy might damage my ability to breastfeed now and later. I'm too scared. I can't wait to hear your post op story and pics. Just listen to your heart and know its the right thing for you. Don't let social media's skewed vision make you second guess yourself. If I was done with breastfeeding I would explant tomorrow!

Pre-op completed

I had my pre-op appointment yesterday and everything is a-go now (yea!)....(yikes!). Dr. Barone was a different man this time around; very warm and reassuring and answered all my questions without acting like he couldn't get out of the exam room fast enough. When we got up to leave he turned to me, put his hand on my shoulder, and said, "Don't worry, everything is going to be just fine...I'll take good care of you, okay?" in a very sweet and gentle tone. So now I understand why he has such great reviews from other patients and I'm chalking up my first experience with him to just him having a rough day. It restored some confidence in him that I lost in my original consult.

They provided me with all my pain med prescriptions, scar gel, probiotics, antibiotic, bromelain and arnica. He couldn't tell me how long I'm going to have to keep the drains in, its more of a "wait and see" thing. I remember having drains when I got the implants and hated them, so dreading that part more than the pain I think.

I have my mother staying with me for almost a week to help care for my boys while I recup and my husband will be taking care of me the rest of the time, so that has put my mind at ease. I got a lot of comments from my PS and from all of you about how important it is that I rest and don't overdo it after surgery, so I'm taking the advice and basically shutting myself in our bedroom for a few days to keep quiet and sleep.

So that's it for now - just anxiously waiting until next Thursday morning! I am supposed to be at the surgery center by 9:00am and surgery is at 10:00am. I'll try to post pics/comments that day, but not sure how I'll be feeling, so might be a day later.

Countdown begins - I'll be implant free in 8 days! :) Whoo-hoo!
Glad to hear things went better with your PS this time around! Yes, maybe he just had a long day or something last time. As long as you're comfortable now that's all that matters. So next week? Great, it'll be here before you know it. I'm 11 days out and absolutely LOVE being implant free... Best of luck with your surgery!
Thank you so much! I am really happy to hear you are doing so well and are loving how you feel now. :) The countless "no regrets" I hear of everyone who has explanted is very reassuring and makes me pretty excited to be free of these dumb things! :)
You're going to feel so much lighter when you get those heavy things out! Hope your surgery goes well :)

Getting nervous and scared....

Well, I don't know what happened between my update two days ago and now, but I'm feeling really strange today. I'm getting scared! I wasn't even batting an eye about this surgery before and now I'm almost emotional about it. My heart is pounding, my stomach is fluttering, and I feel like I could start crying if I let myself. I don't know where all this came from - I was so matter-of-fact and excited all this time and today its like a switch has flipped. I'm downright freaked out here...I picture myself on the day of surgery and my hands get freezing cold and sweaty. I'm not one who has ever been scared of surgery, of course there was always a little bit of nerves, but I've never been frightened like I feel today. I've had a small handful of surgeries in the past like having my appendix and tonsils removed and of course the original breast aug, but I don't ever remember feeling scared like this. Not even sure what triggered this anxiety - you would think if I was going to get scared it would have happened at my pre-op appt when the nurse asked me, "So are you ready for this?" and started handing me all my instructions, prescriptions, and discussing all the details. But I just sat there, cool as a cucumber and grinning with excitement. Now today that confidence went into hiding or something and fear quickly stepped in its place.

Did anyone else experience this? I mean, I understand that we're discussing surgery here and its natural that everyone would have some fears, but I just don't understand why suddenly out of nowhere I'm so shaken up. Just hoping its normal and going to pass quickly....
You sound completely normal to me!!! You have to allow yourself to go through every stage in order to grow through it! I hope Incan be as in touch before my surgery, Nov 18...
I live in Ohio and got my implants 5 weeks ago already have cc I want them out. Is your doctor known for explants? I live in southeast ohio. I don't think I want my doctor taking them out.
He has done a lot according to the nurse there, but most had a replacement implant put in or a lift. He is very good at what he does and is known for being a perfectionist (which I liked). :) But because of that, he will probably try to talk you into a lift or smaller implant (at least he did with me) - he wants the best possible outcome appearance-wise.

3 days and counting....

Just a quick update...my surgery is 3 days away and I'm so excited! The extreme anxiety hasn't returned since my last post, but I certainly do have some butterflies.

I just have to say, I find it so funny...when I first got my implants, I was soooo secretive about it and continued to be over past 14 years. I worried someone would find out or people were whispering behind my back and wondering. Then when I decided to get them out, I told my secret to my mother-in-law and sister-in-law. And then after I joined this site and started "sharing" with all of you, I kinda felt a relief. Even though its anonymous, I noticed a heaviness was lifted when I shared my story. I felt "freed", if that makes any sense. They say secrets are poison and as weird as it sounds, I guess being so secretive about my surgery was poisoning me in a way. Ha - the implants were poisoning physically AND emotionally....good grief. Discovering this has given me a fresh point of view and over the past couple weeks, I've been telling just about whoever I realized its so NOT that big of a deal and people aren't judging me or pointing a finger at me and screaming, "You mean you've lied to me all this time??" They just say, "Wow, I never knew! Well, I'm so glad you're getting them out and I really hope you feel better!" They are actually pretty compassionate...and frankly, even if they do whisper or feel some kind of judgement, I really am not concerned about that. Getting healthy is my main goal and the rest is small potatoes. :) How stupid....how much time have I wasted on feeling insecure and overthinking what people might be thinking? SMH....
Im wishing you the best on the day of your explant, what will be your approach since both implants have bottomed out? Besides the capsuletomy. You should look at pictures with small breast women, so you can see they are sexy as well. We often see these tv shows and see these big breasts in front of our eyes and the media makes us choose to believe bigger is better. Dont believe it for a split second. Natural is sexier :)
You know, when I was my natural A-cup size, I felt like I looked like a boy and didn't exude femininity. But when I see small-breasted women now, I don't think they look like boys at all! They seem fit, athletic, and yes....sexy! It was so delusional to believe I wasn't "woman enough" before. I think because I was teased about being flat-chested in high school, I developed these beliefs that I didn't look right. I remember a boy came up behind me and snapped my bra, then said loudly, "What are you wearing a bra for? You don't even have anything to fill it!" and then other guys laughed. Other "witty" incidents like that happened throughout school and I became very insecure about my body. And as for the bottoming out...my PS said he might put in an internal stitch or two just to lift me up a little. It's not by any means a surgical lift, but he said since I did bottom out, a couple stitches might help a little. Fingers crossed! Thank you for the good luck wishes - you are absolutely right about natural being sexier. My husband is actually very happy that I'm getting them out - he prefers natural vs plastic. :)
I felt just like you, with my weight loss I felt I looked like a boy but I didnt even realize I had enough breast tissue to make a nice cleavage, its not like I was completely flat, like a real boy. Now looking back at old pictures makes me miss them, I have my natural ones but they are different now. So, I am upset that I thought I wasnt feminine. I always loved Kate Hudson and I thought she was the most beautiful because she wasnt fake and she rocked those low cut dresses. BUT then I saw she got implanted and then I thought oh I guess she felt insecure and then I felt insecure, I felt it was not ok to have small breasts for that time. I was completely wrong, I let it get to me. As for the internal stitching, I ask because I had it done but only on one breast and it looks odd, will you be able to ask your surgeon if with time the breast relaxes. If he says he wants to do a capsulorraphy then he will do the same procedure as my surgeon did to me. I just need reassurance thats all, this time around I feel I should ask more questions when I can.

Tomorrow is the big day!!!

So by this time tomorrow, I will be at the surgery center! :) I am very excited (and of course, nervous). Today is my last day with implants and that seems a little scary, I'll admit. Tomorrow morning I am going to look completely different...I have not seen myself without big boobs in 14 years, so this is going to be quite an adjustment! Eeeeek!

But on the flip-side, I am relieved the surgery day is tomorrow because I'm hoping a month from now, I'm going to feel like a new woman. I am putting all my eggs in one basket here and praying that these implants are the cause for the majority of my health issues. I'm hoping the memory issues, the mental fogginess, the joint pain, my low thyroid and adrenal function, the hair shedding, constant fatigue, etc, will all be a thing of the past soon.

Wish me luck ladies - I'll post pictures (hopefully tomorrow), even though all you'll see are bandages and drains. :) Much love to all of you for all your support getting me to this day - you've helped me so much more than you realize! :) Hugs!
Hope everything went well with you surgery, wishing you a speedy recovery. Keep us posted on your progress.
Good luck tomorrow! Sending positive thoughts and energy your way. I had mine done today and it was not bad at all. Keep us posted! See you on the other side!
Praying for you...not just for a great and successful surgery and recovery, but also some relief of your health issues. Take it one day at a time. I know you'll do great tomorrow and can't wait to hear how it goes.

Surgery is over...

Today is day 2 and I'm not feeling very good, so this will be short. Surgery went well...it took an hour longer than planned because when my PS opened me up, he discovered that both my implants were ruptured and there was gooey silicone everywhere. He said he couldn't even see the shell of the implant anymore. So he dissected the whole capsule and removed it, then spent a lot of extra time cleaning me out. I will post more when I feel better - having quite a bit of pain today. But I'm on the other side now ladies - so happy to have those things out knowing how bad they really were.

More updates and pics to come soon.....I asked my PS to take pics of my implants, but he said there was nothing left of them...just piles of silicone. Scary....
So happy that the surgery is over and those implants are out! I'm sorry you are in so much pain.. it sounds like your PS had a lot or work to do in there. Hope today is a better day for you and you are starting to feel better!!
Hope you are feeling better today
Wow, thank goodness that mess is out of you! Wow. I think that the second day pai wise was the worst, and my mood was very low that day as well. Hang in there, rest, be kind to yourself and take your pain meds. So wonderful that you are free!

Still feeling kind of rough

Hi everyone...just wanted to send another update. I'm still feeling a lot of pain today, but mainly just when I move around in bed or stand up. Standing up is the worst! When I stand, I feel like there are heavy weights pulling down on my chest and incisions and it does not feel good at all. I'm hoping tomorrow I will start showing some significant improvement. My husband still has to help me to sit up and lay back down. I have slept a lot since surgery - every couple hours I start nodding off. Its probably the pain meds, but I imagine my poor body has a lot of healing to do after all that silicone clean-up.

Thank you all for your thoughtful and kind words - you continue to lift my spirits, even during this not-so-fun recovery. Bless you!
Hang in there...I definitely had the same feeling that you describe....sort of like my boobs were going to fall off of my chest every time I leaned forward. It passes fairly quickly...I think on day 3 or 4. I know I definitely started feeling better when I started to decrease my pain meds....they made me so drowsy and out of it. I hope you're feeling better soon.
Hang in there! I hope you feel better every day!
Keep resting and taking care of yourself. I'm sure you'll turn the corner soon!

So here are the pics...

And let's just say...I look pretty rough right now. The pain is very minimal today; I am off all pain meds and that's helped me feel a lot more clear-headed. I had my follow-up visit yesterday; they removed the bandages and I instantly felt relief! The bandages were starting to really bother me - I felt like they were digging into my body and crushing me, so there was immediate improvement once they were off. My PS decided to leave my drains in an extra few days (yuck)...can't tell you how happy I will be when those are gone too!

So about my breasts....I would be lying if I said my eyes didn't widen a little when I first saw them. I knew sort of what to expect from viewing other pictures on this site, but it doesn't take away the shock of seeing your own for the first time. They look pretty beat up and sad. I'm not going to let it get to me though - I know my body has a lot of healing to do, so I refuse to allow myself to get too swept up in their appearance right now. However, I do have a little emotion going on today. I think its a combination of several things...how I look, how helpless I feel (watching everyone else clean my house, take care of my kids, make food, etc), and knowing I have a few more weeks of it. But I know this is just a short season and quite honestly, its a small price to pay for getting all that toxicity out of my body!

Thank you so much for all your comments - I read them often because they are so encouraging and help me feel better. :)
Thank you for sharing your story! You and I think very simular and some of your words I read in my own voice. I'm about three weeks out from getting mine removed and I'm going through butterflies to anxiety to just plain ol' excitment. I know you're still early in the post op phase but let me tell you what I've heard from this site. Don't pay much attention to you breast the first 10 days, thats when they start making changes. And since your body had all that ruptured silicone it might take you longer. But I can already tell by how your breasts look now that they will do wonderful at fluffing! I'm really proud of you for not getting a lift and dealing with a Doctor who wasn't very comforting. How have your autoimmune issues been doing? You are beautiful! And about sex, its all in your mind not your body! Keep us updated!
Thank you for the kind words!! :) I hope you're right about the fluffing - my sad breasts certainly need it. I haven't noticed any improvements with my health issues yet, but I think that's just because I'm still sore and very tired from the surgery. When I'm fully recovered and able to move and pick things up without chest pain, I'm sure I'll feel amazing. How could I not after getting all that toxic silicone out of my body, right? Good luck with your surgery - I'll be following your progress! :)

I want my implants removed as well. I suffer fatigue, thyroid disfunction, pain just to name a few. My implants took me from a AA to an overflowing C. I was thrilled not to be called sir due to my short hair and 12 Year old boyish figure. Now, my breasts have more ripple then a skid row vetran and more pain then i can stand sometimes. I want the little alians OUT! Now to earn the $$ to make it happen.....


Feeling better

Hi girls! So its been over a week since my surgery and I'm feeling pretty good! Still sore, but improving every day. I overdid it yesterday and I'm kind of paying for it this morning. I was feeling good and so I started doing some laundry and mild cleaning around the house. I was surprised how much I could do without pain and so I started doing a little more and a little more and a little more and then it happened....my 35 lb toddler started crying when my husband wasn't in the room and I did something really stupid and picked him up. I don't know what I was thinking...I thought I could press him tightly to my chest and lift with my legs and be able to do it. Yeah right...my body was like, "What in the heck do you think you're doing??!!" and I felt instant pain, pulling, and stinging in my chest. I set him back down and thought, "Uh-oh...what damage did I just do?" But today nothing too terrible seems to have resulted from that moment of stupidity...I'm just sore.

My breasts still look on the sad side, but less bruising and might even be less wrinkly. Its hard to tell because I'm in a compression bra 24/7, so they are always squashed down and funky-looking when I take it off for showers or to inspect my incisions (I'll post more pics at the 2-week mark).

I couldn't be happier that I did this removal, however its been an adjustment to get used to the new me. On the plus side I feel so light now! I never even realized how heavy those implants were until they were gone. I can take a deep breath with such ease now (more noticeable when the bra is off) and there is so much peace of mind knowing that toxicity is out of my body for good! :) But its still a surprise when I pass by a mirror and see my flat chest or when I take off the bra and see a completely different me. I'm not sad or depressed, its just an adjustment and will take some getting used to. On the bright side - I look like I dropped about 20 lbs! My torso looks so much longer and leaner, which makes me look more youthful and athletic. Gotta love that, right? :)

One question....I am starting to lightly massage my breasts. I wasn't sure how early to start doing that (of course forgot to ask my PS at my last visit), but I'm being very gentle when I do it. The thing that concerns me is, my incision feels so big, lumpy, and hard. For those of you who have had your incisions at the bottom....does that go away after it heals or will my breasts always be soft and squishy at the top and hard and lumpy at the bottom? Will my incision always be that noticeable to the touch?

I'll post another update in a few days along with new pics. Take care ladies! :)
I'm also really wrinkly too! But not sure if that's the compression bra or my new natural self. I started gently massaging last week per my PS instructions. And my scar feels hard. I think that will straighten out eventually.
Oh wow...I am a month out and I can't imagine picking up my 35lb toddler. I have been very fortunate and have had a ton of help. However, just bringing in groceries or carrying slightly heavy bags for awhile causes a burning sensation in my chest. The other day no one was around and I tried getting my toddler down from the table myself by pulling him out and helping him to climb down.....even doing that caused soreness on my left side which is my worst side. So picking him up...I can imagine the pain I would be in. I hope that in a couple of more weeks that I will be able to fully handle the weight....but for now I'm still dealing with some soreness when I over do it. As for the incisions....they will get better with time. Once you are able to start treating your scars they will flatten out and be less hard/lumpy. They should feel like the surrounding skin after many months. Glad to hear you're feeling better.
Thank you.

Here are new pics....

So here I am, a little over 2 weeks after surgery. Quick story, when I got pregnant with my 1st son, I put on 70 lbs during those 9 months. Anyway, I started losing that weight a few months after giving birth and there was a specific moment I can remember looking in the mirror and being so pleased with my appearance. I had lost a good amount of weight and I thought, "Boy, I only need to lose a little more weight and I will be close to my pre-baby body!" Then I saw myself in a picture somebody had taken just a few days after I had been admiring myself in the mirror. I was horrified! I still looked quite overweight - I wasn't at all the woman I thought I had seen in the mirror that day. It was such a depressing moment and it put me in a funk for a couple days. I told you that story to tell you this story...I examined myself in the mirror yesterday and was like, "Hey, the boobs aren't looking bad at all! I'm pretty pleased with how much they are improving!" and then I walked out of the bathroom and asked my husband to take new pictures (the ones above). When I reviewed the pics on the camera, I found myself reliving that exact same moment I just told you about. Here I thought I was looking so good and then I saw an entirely different view of myself in those pictures. I don't know why that happens...seeing something so drastically different than how it really is. But regardless, it really affected me and I got pretty emotional. Thankfully, I have a wonderful husband and he gently scolded me for being so hard on myself. He reminded me that it has only been 2 weeks since my surgery and my poor body has gone through a lot. He said, "You still have about 6-8 months of recovery and changes ahead of you and you are judging your appearance after only 2 weeks? Why would you do that to yourself?" Ah, geez...he's right. So lets just say, I had a freak-out moment followed by a woe-is-me-I-look-so-awful-pity-party, but now I realize its ridiculous to be worried about what I look like now because its still so darn early. Get a grip lady!

Physically I am feeling pretty great, but I can tell when I overdo it. I get quite sore the following day and my energy takes a nose-dive. But when I'm being a good girl and resting like I should, I feel pretty fantastic! :) I took a walk outside the other day and I felt so alive! I haven't felt that clear-headed in soooo long - it was wonderful. :) :)

Well I don't know why you were feeling down because I think your looking really good. Such progress in only two weeks and considering what you went through, you really are looking amazing. I agree with your husband too, your judging yourself to early, give it more time, I think if changes continue happening at the rate they currently are it won't take as long as 6 months, your looking fantastic x

I'm really not mental... :)

So I really need to amend my previous post. When I reviewed those last pictures on the viewing screen on our camera, I thought I looked pretty bad. I typed all those "I look so awful, boo-hoo" comments while my husband was uploading the pictures (he handles all that for me because I'm technically challenged). When they popped up on the site, I reviewed them for the 2nd time and I was truthfully a little shocked because they looked a whole lot better on the big computer screen then they had on the camera. I asked my husband if he had photo-shopped them at all to make them look better and looked at me like, "are you crazy?" and said of course not. I told him the pictures had looked so much worse when I saw them on the camera and now I look like some kind of mental patient because there is obviously a definite improvement in my breasts from the last pictures. So I apologize for looking a bit psycho - wish I could amend my last update, but I can't. :(
Merry Christmas!xx
Merry Christmas to you, too!!! :)
How is everything going? I have to have my drains in for a week :( I think my bra is way to tight around my sides... Feels like it's pressing in my tubes? Anyhow hope you're continuing to heal well!xx

New pics and update

Hello Ladies! :)

Well, its been awhile since my last update, so thought I'd take a few minutes and let you all know how things are going. I'll list the highs I've experienced over the last month and then I'll admit the lows. But the good stuff first...let me just say I am feeling a definite improvement in my health since the explant...yippee! The joint pain is rapidly subsiding, although strangely some days it reappears for reasons I don't quite understand. But I definitely have less pain and some days I don't notice it at all, where as before I had it all the time. My hair has stopped shedding, which is awesome...I used to find my hair everywhere! It was all over my clothes, the furniture, the kitchen counter-tops, all over my bathroom, and I would even find it in the refrigerator (yuck, right?). Now I only notice it in the shower when I wash my hair. I find I am more clear-headed, but again, some days are better than others. I haven't noticed a significant spike in my energy levels, but I imagine I still have a bit more healing and adjusting to do before I notice improvement in that area. I sleep so much better because I'm comfortable again...no massive, painful implants are in my way anymore. :) My breasts are so soft and squishy - they feel so foreign to me after being firm and fake for so long. I can lift and carry my toddler around again and I only have just the tiniest amount of soreness around the sides of my breasts, but I really only feel it when I massage them. Other than that, I'm feeling pretty fantastic. I love that I can comfortably hug my loved ones again - I gave my father a big hug the other day and that means a lot to me because I would always hug him rather gingerly before. He never knew about my implants and I didn't want him to find out, so I always hugged him with a bit of worry, where as now I can hug him fiercely without a second thought. I finally told him about the surgery the other day and he was stunned...he had no idea I'd ever had it done. I said to him, "Its just crazy to me that you never suspected it all this time." He admitted with an air of awkward embarrassment that he just assumed I was a late bloomer...ha ha!

Okay moving on, lets talk about the negative side of things....booooo. I still haven't fully adjusted to the appearance of my breasts. They are obviously 2 different sizes and the left breast hangs down a lot lower than my right. I was wearing my compression bra 24/7 for over 5 weeks after the surgery, but I noticed that my breasts just kept sagging down as the weeks went by. It's like once the stitches dissolved and the scar wasn't as lumpy and hard anymore, the skin kind of "released" and drooped down. The line across my left breast has become more noticeable and things don't appear to be fluffing...more like falling. My nipples are flattened and "sad"...they seem to have given up trying to stay perky. Oh and someone PLEASE recommend a good freaking bra to buy!! I went to Kohl's the other day to buy a new bra for the first time and I was ready to punch myself in the face by the end of shopping experience. I must have tried on about 20 different bras and NONE of them fit me nicely. I finally settled on a bra that I only half-liked just because I couldn't stand the thought of being in front of that mirror a second longer. I cut the tags off after I got home and put it on to see how I looked in different sweaters and shirts in my closet. But after a couple minutes of moving around, the bra felt really strange and uncomfortable inside my shirt. I lifted my shirt to see what the heck was going on and the bra was practically resting under my chin! WTF? I had the straps on the loosest setting possible, so it wasn't like things were too tight, but apparently I am now so small-breasted that they cannot anchor a 36-A cup bra well enough to rest properly on my chest! I was angry and disgusted and ended up returning the bra and haven't tried any others on since. Can anyone recommend a bra that has molded cups or something to help give me the illusion of perky figure, but is also comfortable? I would adore any suggestions...the thought of going back and trying on 47 different bras again is horribly depressing.

So that's it in a nutshell...obviously I am ecstatic that my health is improving and still loving how light I feel now. Now if I can just find a bra I'm happy with, I imagine things will continue to improve. :) Couldn't be happier that I did this and I'm looking forward to a fabulous year ahead! I wish you all the best in 2014 as well! :)

Take care everyone!

Technical Difficulties

My pics from the last post didn't attach due to technical difficulties. Here they are!
Hi. Thanks so much for writing your post. I have just read the lot in one sitting as I have a very similar experience to you (and similar breasts to you by the sounds of it!!) and I will be hopefully having my implants removed this year coming. I'm nervous and frankly terrified about what I will look like afterwards but as I have the infamous PIP (industrial grade silicone!) implants, it will be a relief when they are out. My main concerns are .. will my skin bounce back? and will i be able to sit up straight, without trying to hide myself as I used to? I am quite tall (5'10"), and have always thought that it is very feminine and graceful to have small breasts when a women is petite, but at my height it is very awkward. Obviously this is my subjective, grass is greener, view but I'm not sure that I will be able to go back to being flat chested no matter how much I would like to live implant free, especially with one breast being higher and smaller and one bigger and lower than the other, feeling like a freak of nature. As you said in your post though, the way we see ourselves can be distorted at times and we can fixate on these things. Personally, I think you look fab and I would just enjoy feeling slim, healthy and athletic. It lends itself to different lingerie and is a change of gear but I'm sure you'll find something that works for you. Maybe you're still trying to fit in to the 'busty' stereotype rather than accepting your new form? Best of luck and thanks again xx
I know exactly how you are feeling because I went through (and am still going through) the same things! I was so scared of what I was going to look like after explant and whether my skin would bounce back after being stretched out to eternity and back over the years. And I'm on the taller side and not a skinny beanpole at that, so I still deal with insecurities about not feeling in proportion. All the women on my mother's side have very small breasts, but they are also much smaller-framed...like the average height is around 5'3. So I look like a giant when we are all together in the same room and I never felt like my small chest looked right on me. But honestly, everyone says I look younger, thinner, and so much better now than I did before. I have a few friends who would always say before my explant, "You are so gorgeous and on top of it, you were blessed with a perfect body, its not fair..." etc, etc and they were shocked when I recently told them my breasts were actually implants. Then other day one of them told me, "You know what, I actually think you look so much better now that you don't have your implants. You look so trim and fit!" So where I was feeling a bit "less than" because I didn't have that "enviable" figure anymore, people are actually thinking I look better! And I've heard it from lots of others, too, so don't convince yourself that you are going to have to hide your figure...you just have to (as my husband tells me all the time) "Own it! Confidence in itself is so sexy, so be proud of your body and know you look amazing." Its true...if we tell ourselves we look bad and then we hunker down, slouch to hide our bodies, look at the ground, and bumble around like we feel awkward, then we DO look bad. But if we tell ourselves we look fabulous, carry our bodies with confidence and grace, hold our heads high, then we will always exude beauty and sex-appeal (even without those giant breasts). :) We just have to get in that truth and not let the lies about looking freakish ever get a grip on our mindset. I hope you stick with your decision to explant and you get those implants out of your body soon - its definitely an up-and-down journey, but you won't regret it!!! :)
Go to nordstroms and splurge on 1-2 bras. They will measure you and fit you and see what looks good on you, and bring the bras to you while you wait in the dressing room. They also deal w women post-mastectomy, etc, so are sensitive to "issues" with breasts not behaving

Detox/clean-eating buddies out there? :)

Hi all!
So I was chatting with Fixit225 about all the sugar and processed carbs I've been stuffing my face with over the holidays and about doing a short-term detox cleanse and clean-eating after. For me, it always helps if I know somebody else is doing it along with me - it keeps me somewhat accountable and less likely to say, "Ah, forget it..." after a day or two. :) My biggest goal for the year (now that my implants are history!) is to improve my health as much as I possibly can. I hope in doing so, my energy levels will start to increase and my joint pain will go away permanently...none of this "feel great one day, hurt a lot the next" nonsense. :) So, the definition of clean eating for me personally is cutting out (or limiting I should say - lets be honest here) sugar, processed foods, and buying organic produce whenever possible and organic, grass-fed meat. I wish I could also say "cutting caffeine" in that definition, but I frankly love my morning coffee way too much and that just ain't gonna happen. :) I know consuming caffeine is really bad for me because of my adrenal issues, but I have long ago admitted defeat in the battle of coffee addiction. Its definitely my vice! :) I've at least limited myself to a maximum of two cups a day.

So anyway, if anyone else wants to jump on board, I just wanted to throw it out there that I'm doing it and you're welcome to join me! Nothing strict, nobody will be held accountable here, I wanted to put it out there. Do whatever is best for your own bodies...some people don't eat meat or dairy or whatever else, so just saying eat whatever is healthy for you.

Oh, I'm also starting infrared sauna treatments soon to help my body detox and I'm eliminating all nasty chemicals - that means whatever goes on my skin or in my hair is 100% pure. I've started using Henna Maiden plant-based hair color to get rid of my grays and pure shampoos and conditioners. The only thing that I'm going to continue using that isn't 100% pure are my "Its a 10!" hair products because I love them so much. :)

A quick word about exercise...I'm going to start doing moderate exercise 3-4 times a week at first (walking mainly - I have quite a few "Walk Away the Pounds" DVDs) and then after a couple weeks, I'm going to bump it up...will add Zumba and The Firm DVDs (if my knees don't hurt too much), which are a bit more intense. My crazy thought is that once spring comes along, I might try to start jogging outside. I am not a jogger - my joints always hurt when I tried before and I frankly hated it, but I am still drawn to it and admire people that do it. Who knows, maybe now that the toxins are out of my body, I'll find that I really enjoy it this time. :)

Let's hope these changes and resolves will result in shedding some pounds and gaining superb health and energy!!! I'm starting Monday (Jan 6th) and just as an afterthought, for anyone who is still waiting for their surgery...eating healthy and eliminating toxins now will only help you heal/recover and bounce-back that much quicker! :) Much love to all of you! XX
You are a brave woman and should be applauded! I happened to have seen the Toledo tag line, so I read your story. Dr Barone did my BA 3 months ago and I wanted to see your feedback. I am glad you ended up being satisfied with him...I went to several others, but he was hands down the best option I found in Toledo. You are right, he is excellent and wants the best outcome for his patients. I actually think you look terrific! That's a lot to go through...hope you heal well!
Thank you for sharing your story - I love your honesty and I gotta say - you look far better after explant!
Toledo Plastic Surgeon

****Update**** I needed to update my review of Dr. Barone. Despite my bad first impression when meeting him the first time, he turned out to be warm and very compassionate and did a wonderful job with my surgery. He spent as much time as he needed to during my procedure and did the best job he could do without performing a surgical lift. He can be pretty matter-of-fact at times it can be a little off-putting, but you can tell he truly cares about his patients and only wants what he feels will be the best possible outcome. I would highly recommend him! The only thing I would say is a big negative are the wait times...on two separate appointments, I arrived exactly on time and ended up waiting over an hour before they took me in the exam room and then waited extra time in there as well. But overall, he is a wonderful and very skilled doctor and I'm very happy with my end results! ******************************************************************************************** So far I'm mixed. Dr. Barone seems friendly enough, comes highly recommended, and appears to do beautiful work, but I didn't exactly have a great first impression. My consultation was at the end of the day, so I'll give him the benefit of the doubt here and say maybe he was tired or possibly had a rough day, but I didn't feel like he was at all interested in what I had to say and basically rushed me out the door. He seemed almost annoyed when I said I wasn't interested in a lift or the possibility of a smaller implant after having my current implants removed. He didn't discuss all that much with me, he just looked and measured, took pictures, and after a very brief consultation he said, "Well talk it over with your husband and we can discuss any other questions you have at your next visit." And that was it - left his office feeling disappointed, but going to continue forward with him solely because of his high reviews and experience.

5 out of 5 stars Overall rating
4 out of 5 stars Doctor's bedside manner
5 out of 5 stars Answered my questions
5 out of 5 stars After care follow-up
4 out of 5 stars Time spent with me
5 out of 5 stars Phone or email responsiveness
5 out of 5 stars Staff professionalism & courtesy
5 out of 5 stars Payment process
2 out of 5 stars Wait times
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