I wasn't comfortable with my body until I was...
I wasn't comfortable with my body until I was about 22 yrs old and then 2 yrs later I gained an extreme 90 pounds with my first daughter. I lost all of the baby weight but my stomach was left with saggy, wrinkly looking skin. I describe my breast as "a sock full of quarters" - deflated and hanging. So naturally, after having my second child, and surviving the loss of a third child, I have decided I would like to reclaim my body. I am looking to get a tummy tuck w/ lipo of love handles, lipo of outer thighs, and BA with lift. I am 6-foot tall and 165 lbs. I plan on getting silicone, mod. profile implants but I am still uncertain on the size. I have picked a doctor, and date. I just need to pay the deposit and stop freaking out! LOL!
The Balancing Act
I have a work opportunity for international travel that will require me to postpone my surgery by a month. I am trying to remind myself that I've waited this long, so what's another month anyway?!? Sometimes it feels like there is no good time for a surgery like this and I worry that it is never going to happen. Sigh...
Lift AND Implants vs Implants
I can't decide what to do about the ladies. Do I do a lift and get smaller implants? Or do I just get higher profile, larger implants without a lift? The photos attached are from a computer animated rendition of me with implants - rather large ones... Too large I think. The 1st one is just me (obviously LOL), middle is 600cc high profile, and last is 650cc high profile. I'm tall so I know I can get away with bigger implants, but those seem too big now. The other doctor I saw kept giving me larger and larger implants too try, but I stopped after 450 that time! I need to go to Victoria's secret with some bags of rice and just be a scientist about it. Has anyone out there got implants and wished they did a lift too?
It's official; I'm doing this. I just paid my non-refundable deposit!
I had to have a pep talk from my husband but he simply said, "just do it." I'm excited and terrified all in one. I need to get some more "before" pics to post.
More Before Pics
Taking pictures of yourself is hard business! Borderline lift?!?
My pre-surgery bikini photos
I went to target and bought 2 cheap suits to hopefully rock after my surgery. I surprised myself; I think I look good. I had to keep my bra on under the top and my stomach is gross but overall, I'm not THAT bad. Lol!
Pre-op nerves are getting to me!
I keep thinking I can't do this. I'm sort of terrified and excited. Normal right?
I'm excited today so I'm posting!
Now that I can check things off a list, (prescriptions? Check! Extra pillows? Check!) I am getting revved up about my impending surgery date. I really do love my doctor. I signed all those consent forms and read about losing your belly button and I just had to know what happens after THAT !? She told me what my odds are of that happening and said she'd make me a new one if it did. Phew! Lol! Overall, it felt good to ask her my silly questions. I'll have an epidural blocking the lower portion of my body, so when I wake up from surgery, it will be just the elephant sitting on my chest that I'll be able to feel. Which sounds bad enough! Does it feel scary to breath? Pain I can handle (or is it manage?) but the thought of feeling like something is squishing my lungs is a little scary. BUT I'm excited! And smiling!
I'm on the Flat Side!!
I will share pictures when I can. Right now it's all about pain management. My boobs hurt the most. This is pretty rough.
More and More Clear-headed
What day is it? Oh right, day 3 post op. So what I didn't post earlier in my fog and confusion is that this almost didn't happen at all. I have low platelets, and they've been low for some time. I've been tested for all sorts of conditions to no resolve. I see a Hematologist and she put me on steroids to boost my count. The night before my surgery, I found out my platelets had not budged (~90,000). So my doctor talked with about what she thought was the safe thing to proceed with. Then my husband says, should we just wait and get it all done at a later date? I started crying because I had mentally prepared for THIS day not down the road! Then I just felt stupid, like why am I doing this?!? The doctor reassured me and let me know it was completely my choice. So we proceeded. She went in to do the tummy tuck (felt safest) and BA/BL. They had wrapped my chest sooooo tight though, that I couldn't get my oxygen levels up where they needed to be. So they cut off the ace bandage wrap around me and then everything was fine. I'm home now. Pretty comfortable but ready for another pain pill. I just wanted to say that things don't always go according to plan, and it was really hard to just sort of "roll with it."
The suspense is killing me!
I have no idea what is under all the binding and wraps! I can't wait to see and post pictures. I'm glad I was able to do both surgeries at once because I can't imagine having to do two separate recoveries. However, if that's what was recommended, that is what would have followed. Oh and I am so excited that "Sharknado 2" is coming out... Hahaha that's my sarcasm. I just saw a commercial for it and felt like mentioning it. Not sure there is a pain pill strong enough for that featured film! I have my first post op tomorrow and I'll try to snap a bunch of pictures when they take all of this extra binding off. And I'm surprised by how little the drains are bugging me. And my lips are nasty and chapped from the breathing tube I'm assuming. And I hacked up nasty brownish phlegm! Gross I know and super painful to cough but worth it to get that nasty out. Just some random observations I don't remember reading about.
The results are in... Worth It!
My stomach looks amazing and my scar is low. My boobs are gonna take some getting use to. They are bigger than what I thought but we will see once they settle down. So... As promised, some pictures! I had to sit because they had just took off all the tape and gauze and BEANS & RICE that hurt!!!! Like getting waxed. No joke, it was more painful than the TT, just shorter lived. Lol!
The "5 days post" Post
There are times, granted they get fewer and fewer by the day, that the pain is so intense, that I can actually feel a stitch in my compression garment digging into me as if it was sewn with fiberglass and hate! There are times, when my face no longer reads desperation or helplessness so much that the care given now becomes a chore and not heroic. There are times, when the big elephant in the room stands up from sitting on your chest to go parading down the street with a banner that reads "She had work done" and "those aren't real." BUT there are also the times, when I think, "damn, I look good," and "yes, I've walked though fire and back and I'm still here." Still fighting, still smiling, still amazed, and still happy I chose to do this. So cheers to day 5 - when logic decides to join the party so you can now focus less of your time on pain and more on thinking about what it all means. Lol!
No pain, just uncomfortable at times. I take one 800mg ibuprofen per day and an over-the-counter sleep aid at night if needed. I usually take a nap at some point during the day so nighttime can be a challenge. EVERYBODY is different though. So march to the beat of your own drum. I stayed on vicodine and Valium for a good 4 days; and for the most part it was comfortable. I have my second post-op tomorrow so I hope I can snap some more pictures. I could care less when my drain comes out. It really doesn't bug me and it keeps the fluid off. I AM ready for a shower though!!!! Which will only happen once the drain is out. Good luck to all the ladies headed for surgery this week and happy healing to those who are on the flat side.
Some quick snapshots
I'll take better photos Friday after I get my drain out, steri strips off and shower!!!! I'm not looking forward to swelling more because I really like how I look (tummy wise). My boobs need to calm down! When can you start post op massages to help? I still can't believe those photos are of me! I feel like I've been photoshopped! Lol!
This just makes me laugh!
So Aunt Flo has decided to visit 10 days post op and I've had to add one more article of clothing to the sexy ensemble; underwear! I look like some sort of weirdo who thinks she's a super hero! Up, up and away! Hehehe! I couldn't resist... Sorry...
Scars looking good
Took these photos this morning. It looks like I have one area that's a little larger than expected but as long as it heals and doesn't get bigger, I'll be happy. Still super low so if that area is a bit wider I can still cover it. I'm super paranoid of infection or separation so I've cut back on my activity and I'm making sure I wash with soap and water everyday. My drain site hasn't scabbed over yet either. Still oozes a little too. Hopefully these are all normal things. I see my PS Wednesday to ask. as much as I may hate how uncomfortable my compression garment may be, I really hate being out of it. My chest without a bra feels foreign and hurts. My boobs by far hurt the most still. And it doesn't help being on my time-of-the-month either with all the bloating and achy boobs. Happy healing everybody. And best wishes to those headed for surgery this week.
Quick post, photos to come
I haven't really felt like posting but here it goes. I feel like I've regressed some after being on my period last week. Only today have I felt a bit more energetic and better. Which is good since I go back to work tomorrow. I picked a comfy outfit that minimizes my boobs for now. I hope I start feeling exponentially better soon. I think my husband has reached his max. He has been surprisingly great. He's been such a good caretaker of both me and our two beautiful girls. But now at almost 3 weeks I can tell he is worn out and hating laundry and dishes! Lol! We share the load (no pun intended) so when one of us has to take on everything and work full time it is draining. I want to help and I'll do small things but it wipes me out! I really hope work is okay tomorrow. I can't take a nap there. Wish me luck and remind me this will all be worth it because I am feeling a bit down.
Before & After
Pre-mommy makeover photos and 19 days post op.
1st Day Back to Work
Well, I made it through my first day back at work. It's a desk job so it wasn't too bad. I just drank a bunch of water and made sure I got up to walk once and awhile. I do not feel all that swollen just tired. Driving feels the worst and my range of motion is somewhat limited. Thankfully my commute is short. Some people noticed I was walking funny and asked if I was okay. I said I had hurt my back over the weekend. I know, I know, I'm adult and it's my choice and I shouldn't have to lie, but I really didn't/don't want people at work to know. Hopefully I will make it through the week! How'd I do with the boob minimizing outfit? I ended up feeling like I looked like a shapeless sack but it hid my CG and binder perfectly.
Pics of Scars
I thought it might be good to include some pics of what my scars look like at 3 weeks. I still have some non-dissolvable stitches in and I feel like my belly button is trying to heal over, shrink and disappear, but over all, I think I am where I should be. I feel good most of the day and by the evening my back hurts a little. I wake up to stomach spasms every morning. Does anyone else have this problem? I can't wait to get back to sleeping on my side too. I miss that!
5.5 weeks progress
Sorry I haven't been on here lately. Here is a before and after bikini pic! I'm finally feeling like I can try clothes on. My scar is slightly higher on my right hip (left in photo) but I can pull my bottoms up more to cover it (second photo). Overall, I'm thrilled. I haven't worn a bikini in 10 years and even then I remember being super self conscious. Now, I want to strut. Lol! I need to get my legs back in shape and work on the stubborn thighs but surprisingly I have lost 4 lbs since surgery and it has not found it's way back to me. I still have some fluid around my belly button and lower abdomen too. I wish I was a speedier healer but slow and steady has been my motto. I will be in my CG for 10 total weeks with a binder on top for 6. Happy healing my rs friends!
Oops! Forgot some photos
These go with the post above.
10 weeks Post-Op
22 Sep 2014
2 months post
FINALLY, at 10 weeks, 4 hrs and 37 mins I got full clearance to swim, run, wear whatever bra I want, burn my CG and start scar therapy. Yay!!!! So it has been a LONG road for me but I am not normal... Well, certainty not as far as healing goes. Overall, I am still very pleased and I will say the only things I do not like are: 1) my scar is higher on one side (which is just how my skin stretched; and 2) my boobs still seem big to me. Hopefully both items will fade with time. I'd still highly recommend my dr and still love my results. I tried on a bunch of bras and swim suits tonight (see photos) and then I noticed I started swelling. I have had my CG off for 5 hrs now. My lower abdomen still has fluid that hangs around but I can see my ribs so the upper ab area got rid of the swelling at some point. I am only now noticing the flabbiness of not working out for 10 weeks. I lost muscle and traded it in for some jiggly bits but overall it is only about +5lbs which is manageable. So tomorrow will be my first day back in the gym. Wish me luck!
Oh, the irony!
24 Sep 2014
2 months post
I love how there is a win-an-iphone6 sweepstake where if you up load a video or photo you can win an iPhone 6. Only problem is that for some reason I cannot upload any of my photos.... That I took with an iPhone 6. Oh the irony! Anybody else having problems? Should I delete some of the photos off my profile? Is it the 7MB size limit? I never had this problem before on my iPhone 4s (yeah, it's been awhile since I got a new phone). First world problems for sure. :-/
To Upload Photos: use "ancient" technology
29 Sep 2014
2 months post
FINALLY was able to upload photos. I had to email myself the photos then download them and save them to my 5 yr old laptop which might as well be a pager from the 80s it is so out of date. BUT it DID work so I cannot make fun of it too much. If you are having trouble loading photos via your ipad, iphone, ipod, i-whatever, etc, try the gremlin parked in your garage. Sure, it was built by cavemen and runs on dinosaur farts but it actually worked. Enjoy!
10 months post (skipped the 6 months)
22 May 2015
10 months post
Missed my 6 months photo post op because I had on my "winter coat." Lol! I feel much better about the way I look today. As I have said before, I am a super slow healer and I don't think I felt "right" until AFTER 6 months. So, don't get discouraged if you don't bounce right back as quickly as others. You'll find your groove! I just know it. I'll be back for my 1 year post-op in 2 months.