Unsupportive Husband for July 11th TT - Texas

I am 44 years old and mother to five children....

I am 44 years old and mother to five children. Four have been by c-section and during all pregnancies I was gestationally diabetic with at least 50 lbs weight gain each time. My youngest (& last) child will be 3 soon. I have lost 25 lbs since her birth (back to my pre-birth weight of 155). I am about 5'5". Although I look great for having five children, I have the most horrible stretch marks and sagging skin on my abdomen. I have finally decided to do something for me knowing that this was my last child. However, my husband is completely unsupportive and doesn't want to hear the particulars and has said he will not help me. (This isn't far off what it was like after 4 c-sections either) After my second child was born (& my first c-section), I flew home with a 2-wk old newborn and an 18-month-old. I think I can handle this. :)

Fortunately, my oldest child is 21 and able to drive me to/from my surgery and help with the little one during my recovery. I have told work I will be off 2 weeks to have surgery, but I have not told them what kind of surgery. I am interested to hear any suggestions from anyone or tips you can give me as well as encouragement. I have not done this irrationally. I have consulted with this doctor 3 times over the years and gave myself a year to save the money and think about it. I feel I am ready for this step and look forward to getting my body back and looking the way I did before children. Thanks.

I will add photos later.

Corpus Christi Plastic Surgeon

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Hi KLM. Just thought I would check in and see how things are going. Our date is coming up and I was wondering how you were doing. I am slowly getting things ready. I hope things are going well.
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oh noes...Im sorry to hear about yoru spouse support or rather the lack of..maybe he will come around. I think its great that you are doing this for yourself. YOu will be so happy that you did, all of us ladies that had troubles losing the weight or getting rid fo the tummy need that support from our family memebers. Im glad your kid is going to help you thru this :) Keep your head up and keep us all posted. I have my TT and lipo on my upper thighs here in 6 days I cant freakin wait...its been 9 years since I had my kid, and I only had 1, that was enough for my body apparently ;) Welp good luck and you will be in my thoughts
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I am glad you are still going through with it. Everyone who has this procedure says they are so happy they did. Maybe in some weird way he is a little worried because you are going to look awesome. A woman I know had that. Her husband wasn't crazy about her looking better. He was a bit insecure about it.(Then again, what do I know).
You are right about doing this for yourself. I feel the same way. My husband has golf, poker club, etc. and I have always been all about the family. I am glad I am doing something for me for a change. Good luck.
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Hi KLM, you and I are getting our Mommy Makeovers the same day! Just thought I would wish you well. I hope your husband comes around. My husband didn't get it-he did not understand why anyone would have "elective surgery". I put my foot down and didn't budge and just kept telling him that this was very important to me-he has since softened and is resolved that this is happening. I will be thinking of you and hoping everything goes smooth for both of us. Take care.
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Thanks so much. I do wish you well! He has said he doesn't want to know anything about it, etc. So, we do not discuss it. I have the day and time set. He doesn't even know these simple things. I mentioned it again this morning, and he just cuts me off. It's more a control thing, I believe. I've been in this for 21 years. I am sure he may be a little worried about the outcome, but either way, he will be unhappy for a while that I've done this. Look, I lived with the boat, the golf club membership, the car he wanted, etc. It's my turn and I'm not apologizing to anyone for feeling the way I do. :) I am 44 now, have sacrificed my body for the children I have - and would do so again - but it's my turn now. Thanks for your support. I do appreciate all the kind words I've received thru this website. God bless you thru your own makeover and I'm so looking forward to mine! Take care.
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You might have a lot of pre-made food frozen and ready for family, or friends who can also help or stop by? Some women just tell co-workers 'female' issue and generally they should leave it alone. It's none of their business anyways. My TT was too obvious that I had done something, so I told everyone.I was surprised at how many female co-workers told me how they longed for one and wished they could have one also. Some have gone to see the PS or talking about it - maybe I should get a discount - LOL. Good luck and best wishes!!
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Thank you! Such a good idea! I think I will definitely have to do this. I don't have very many friends here that I would call, but there are a couple who have offered to help me in any way. I will probably take them up on it. One in particular wants this surgery for herself, so I'm sure she will be following me closely to see what all is involved. She's in same boat as I am in a lot of respects. I don't think I will tell ladies at work. You're right no one's business anyway. Thanks for the good wishes!
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I'm sorry hun about your husband not supporting you. But I understand because this issue has caused a lot of friction between my husband and I as well. Once we finally got everything out in the open it turns out it was mainly because he was worried about the risks of surgery. But there are people here who support you and you don't need to justify to us why you want or deserve this. We understand :) Do you have anyone else who will be able to help you? Good luck!
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I believe in his own way he is worried about my health and the outcome. However, I tried to help by getting appt with doctor for both of us so that he could ask questions. (He's attorney & I'm sure he has a lot of questions...) But he refused to go and does not want to know anything about. Just told me to up the life insurance. Yea, great guy. He said, "Leave me out of it." Okay, so I am. My mother, I hope, is coming to help me and my oldest child - a daughter - will drive me to/from surgery. I'm more concerned with my little one - three in August. Just need to make sure she is taken care of without feeling I need to do anything. I'm not going to be up to it for a week or so. Keep me in your prayers. As I said, it's nothing I personally cannot handle. I've done a lot more with a lot less in my life and in this marriage. Thanks for your encouragement.
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Oh, KLM. I had a newborn and an 18-month-old too--I agree, you can handle anything after that! 2 under 2 is a kind of work that most of the world will never understand! :)

Good luck--I hope your hubby comes around. :)
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Hey KLM...i watched a t.v. show about a woman with an unsupportive husband getting a tt and after it was over, he was more thrilled with new body than she was. he said that he felt like he was cheating on his wife every time they had sex...so i think it's safe to say that he'll come around...good luck!!
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Good luck with everything. You'll do great. Everyone on here is really supportive and offers positive feedback.
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We recently wrote a blog post about unsupportive husbands. Check it out here.

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Sometimes the husbands can be difficult but that is mainly because of the unknown.  They hear surgery and hit the freak out mode.  I sure hope he comes around for you.

You deserve to do this for yourself and should not feel guilty.   There is nothing wrong with wanting to improve yourself and feel better.

Keep us up to date on how things are going.

 
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