I am 23 years old, a full time college student,...
I am 23 years old, a full time college student, with 2 little boys at home that I take care of with the help of my amazing boyfriend. Of course, I got these awful battle scars from my children. I had my first right out of high school, I was 18 and gained a total of 65lbs. I went from 140lbs to 205lbs by the end of my pregnancy. I gained 85% of that weight in the last 3 months, leaving me with this nasty tummy! My 2nd pregnancy wasn't as bad, I only gained 35lbs and it was so much easier to lose the weight.
I have a small torso as it is, I'm mostly all legs, so when my stomach makes room for a baby, it has to stretch a lot!! I lost all of the weight after both pregnancies, I am now down to 126lbs. My doctor even tells me I'm tiny, so there's not hardly any fat to remove, just excess skin.
As the date gets closer, I get more excited, but I also feel a little more guilty. I know saving this money could help pay off my student loans, get a more reliable vehicle, or just take care of my children more securely in general..but I know I deserve to be happy and it's only a one time thing. If I can spend $5,000 on a down payment on a house, just to end up giving it to my ex and moving out of it anyway because of a break up. (Which really did happen.) Isn't this lifelong happiness more worth it? I'm so ready!
Well, this is it! The night before my surgery....
Well, this is it! The night before my surgery. This past month has flown by and every day was more surreal. I still can't believe it's finally happening. I've had dreams about it nearly every night. Either dreaming about something going wrong financially, physically, or just me with an amazing flat bikini body! My head is all wrapped up in it. The only bad thing about it, is that my surgeon doesn't make time appointments, so I just have to wait around from 5:30am-5:30pm on a call so they can tell me when to come in, but I guess that makes it feel even more unreal because I don't know when it's coming. Anxiety! I'm also kind of scared and nervous about being under while they do surgery, just because of the stories about sometimes you get paralyzed from the anesthetic, but can't actually tell them you are still awake and still feel EVERYTHING. I hope that really doesn't happen! I'm sure I'll be back on here after this is all over to let everyone know how it went. Wish me luck:)
Yesterday was a little more crazy than I was...
Yesterday was a little more crazy than I was expecting it to be, but I've made it out alive:) First off, I received a call around 1:00pm from a nurse asking why I wasn't at the hospital yet..I answered confusedly, well, a nurse was supposed to call me when I was supposed to come in because they did not set up a time for the appointment. She then said one moment while she talked to my doctor..about 2 minutes later got back on the phone saying they would have to reschedule. I was so frustrated that I flat out told her no way. I hadn't even or drank anything for the past 20 hours, I took off school 2 days earlier than my spring break actually started, and there was no way I could reschedule except for a couple of months away because they only schedule surgeries on wednesdays! Thank the lord that my doctor changed his mind in the end since they realized it was them on fault. Well, when I arrived at the hospital, it was now 1:30pm, they had me waiting in a room for about an hour before calling me back to the room telling me I had to pre-register. I looked at them and said, I called the toll free number to pre-register already last week? She then said, well we do not have your medical history on file and at that point I was just not thinking I was going to to do the surgery because it was already almost 3:00pm. I told her that when I called I asked if they needed my medical history and the nurse said no, we do not need that information from you..thankfully we got to speed through that process since they had everything else about me already on file so I was finally ready to go back into my room.
They prepped me for surgery, my doctor reminding me how well it will look and that I would have maybe a little stretch marks not even a quarter inch right about my panties still after the surgery. They gave me so relaxation medicine called versa I believe and then put the mask over me, the next thing I knew, I was out.
When I woke up, my doctor told me it well, I had two drains in, and then showed me my new stomach. Well, I was expecting something different that I almost cried in front of the doctor from being disappointed. Before I had the surgery, my stretch marks were not even a half inch above my bellybutton, and after my surgery, the stretch marks are RIGHT at my belly button. Yes, the loose skin is gone but what the hell? Us women who have this, know we want to come back without stretch marks still way up to their belly button! I wanted to be able to wear a bikini and feel self conscious and have something to hide...well looks like I'll still be hiding! As I am really disappointed, I'm still happy the skin is gone, and maybe soon I will just get a colorful tattoo to cover up the thick stretch marks that lead to privates.
I'm still laying in the hospital bed right now. It has been 40 hours since Ive had anything to eat still and have no tried to walk because I've been in a constant pain of about 7 and am really nauseas from all the pain meds and no food. On top of that, my catheter doesn't even work right, so I have to wake up like every hour to mess with the hose and drain it myself..I just feel like Cox Hospital wasn't the very best location choice right now! Hopefully I'll be up in a little while moving around..I'll probably post pics later tonight of the results.
I came home from the hospital yesterday..I am...
I came home from the hospital yesterday..I am still a little sore and taking oxycodone and my antibiotics right on schedule so I dont get behind in any way. I seem to be draining a lot and that kind of worries me about my hydration state as I always feel really weak. Also, I am very short of breath and I can hardly eat anything without hurting my stomach and feeling even more like I can't breathe. Is this normal? Does it subside over time after my organs are readjusted? I've read a lot of reviews about people who never recover from the shortness of breath and have to have the tt redone and I'm hoping this is at least normal for the first week or so.
Today has already felt like such a better day than...
Today has already felt like such a better day than yesterday. I held off on calling my doctor about the shortness of breath because I figured it could have been from the oxycodon. I started taking them at a little later times and the breathing issue has stopped, as has the nausea and dizzyness when Im not under the meds. I think taking the meds is over half the battle of recovering from a tt! So I feel like ive been complaining a lot since Ive gotten this done, mainly because I feel over emotional, swollen, and just HUGE right now. I was expecting an overall feeling of being thin but that hasn't happened yet, i felt like I looked tinier with the skin so far. Last night I took a shower and saw myself in the mirror for the first time before I got in, I looked like a dis proportioned Frankenstein. My fiance still tells me I look better than before and reminds me its only been 2 days, it will get much better, so he has really kept my head up for me. Today I think Im going to try to walk a little more than in the past, its mainly just my back troubles when walking, not much of the stitch pain. Oh and the pulling up the drain tubes! I cant wait to get those suckers out! Thank you all who have given me advice about my shortness of breath. I really appreciate it! And sorry if the pics i uploaded are tmi, it is just not comfortable at all wearing any sort of underwear or pants, im just wearing summer dresses every day lol
Just weighed myself for the first time since ive...
Just weighed myself for the first time since ive been home..im 7lbs heavier than before the operation..and ive hardly eaten anything! thats how swollen i am! lord almighty, i feel like a ripe tomato just needing to be picked already.
Today was really the first day that I saw...
Today was really the first day that I saw improvement in the swelling. I don't feel as huge and my pain is a lot more bearable than before. I also got to eat a huge cheeseburger :) feeling fine! new pics are posted, still really hunched over but i think ill be standing straight in a few days.
I'm still feeling pretty good! The only thing that...
I'm still feeling pretty good! The only thing that really gets me these past few days is the dizzyness and nausea from my meds..which I think Im gonna start switching to tylenol xtra strength to see if that helps any and just take my oxycodone at night time. tomorrow i go to my check up to see if i can get these drain tubes out, im really hoping so because the drainage is just turning into this yellow fluid and hardly any has been coming out since yesterday. i know some people say they have gotten more swollen as days go by, but i have not felt that yet, luckily i just keep getting less and less swollen every day, as with feeling less and less pain. hope everyone is doing good out there!
Today was the first day i really got out of bed...
Today was the first day i really got out of bed for a couple of hours..but just sitting in the car and going out to eat wore me out. my eyes were bloodshot and drooping on the way back home and i immediately climbed in bed and slept for over 2 hours. i got my drains taken out today, which was not a pleasant experience. just be prepared to almost faint after you get those taken out because your body has been through a lot by this time. i think im already developing a seroma from the fluid build up because the drains are removed which really sucks..my stomach has this huge lump bellow my belly button on my left side making it look even more deformed..so ill probably call back tomorrow to let them know and see if we should wait it out or do anything about it. other than that, my next appt is in 3 weeks and everything has been pretty good. i stand really well the first half of the day but by the end im hunching over my waist again. they also gave me 3 new spanx type garments at the hospital so i can take off the binder now..they go all the way up to my boobs and make it hard to breathe,and even less comfy to sleep in, but looks a lot better under clothes! guess its the trade off.
On a side not, i really MISS being able to cuddle...
on a side not, i really MISS being able to cuddle up with my little ones! didnt know having these few weeks to myself would take such the toll on me. :((
Let me tell you I can't wait to the little thingy...
Let me tell you I can't wait to the little thingy again without being in pain from it! Like laughing, coughing, stretching, and most of all popping! Sorry if that's too tmi, but I basically have a whole week of food backed up in me! So last night I drank only about 3oz of prune juice and my goodness! I have the bubble guts like crazy! There's no telling how long ill be on that toilet today! I'm sooo glad to finally get a weeks worth of Food out of me but at the same time it hurts sooo much. I've just been in bed wanting to cry about it all:( on top of that, I have this new burning sensation on my left side right above my hip any don't know what it is. It only occurs in like a popping movement when I first get up to walk or when I try to stretch my legs out... hopefully it's nothing.. just strange feeling.
I know... I just spent thousands and thousands of...
I know... I just spent thousands and thousands of dollars on my body and I STILL hate the way it looks. Ugh! why in the world do I have to have such an awkwardly shaped torso! It's not normal at all!! My bf justifies trying to make Me feel better by saying* it's what makes you unique and different* ...whaaat?? I don't want to be different like this, I want to be normal! Now that I don't have that extra skin around my sides and it shows the curves of my back more, I think I look worse than before and still don't wanna go out in a bikini.. my hips are like an arms lengths wide with this tiny upper torso right under My boobs so I go from Tiny to as wide as a dump truck with my hips sticking out midway up My back cus it's so freaking short! I just keep crying cus I feel like over accomplished nothing in making myself free better now.. ughhh.
Feeling little better today emotionally, other...
feeling little better today emotionally, other than a few things that are unrelated to the surgery. i know im a week post op, but i still lay in bed all day and get just as much rest as before because i know it will help for when i have to get back to my daily routine in 3 days. so today i am standing straighter, less sick feeling, and not as much swelling. get to spend a lil more time with my sons every day. think im healing pretty nicely so far. probably will start posting only weekly about my updates now because its all turning the same i think.
So!! Everything has been going pretty good here! I...
So!! Everything has been going pretty good here! I started back to school this past Monday, it was breezy. I took the stairs and everything lol. No afternoon naps afterwards. I usually woke up at around 8am and went to sleep around 1:00am.I have still been taking one oxycodone before bedtime because it helps me not feel the pain from rolling around in my sleep. I only have 4 left though! Hopefully no withdrawals, haha. I started comfortably sleeping on both sides around 3 days ago..I still sleep with 2 pillows under my back and head to relieve the pressure. I had an early appointment with my ps yesterday because I have developed a seroma and he needed to check if he needed to remove the fluid, but he said removing the fluid usually adds more pain and risk of infection, so we're going to wait a week to see if its gone down..if not, then I have to get it drained by a needle! eek. I started my period 3 days ago, and let me tell you, it's not fun! I feel about as swollen and crampy as I was at 5 days p.o these past 3 days, I'm pretty sure its because of the mens. cycle! urgg. My incision is healing okay I guess, it still looks gross to me haha. I have taken the steri-tape off my sides, but left it on in the middle just because the idea of sitting down and having my pants rub against it doesnt go over well in my head. My incision is really high up, even my panties dont cover the very bottom above my pubic area..when he did my tummy tuck, he pulled skin down from my stomach and up from my pubic area, so my hair line starts sooner, leaving me with an even shorter torso than I already had..great huh?! lol. On a happy note, my belly button is starting to look really awesome! no longer lumpy or scabby. So with all this said, I am starting to really like my results. I'm sure it will take much longer for me to feel completely satisfied, just because I feel like after healing now, I need to work on these love handles that are suddenly popping out more after this surgery..its a win lose situation! Until next time. happy easter and good luck to all you tummy tuckers!
22 days post op. The swelling has gone down from...
22 days post op. The swelling has gone down from 17days post op, so im guessing it was just from my period. thank god! im basically standing straight up now and i am 95% feeling like myself. still not allowed to work out, but hopefully by next week. i took off my steri-tape all the way now, it doesnt look as bad as i thought it still would by this time. i think my scar is actually healing really well! i started back up tanning this week...i knooooww, its a "no-no" but i cover up all the way around my scar so the UV rays dont hit it..so im just a little whiter on my stomach than the rest of my body..but thats fine by me, only me and the fiance know :)
I think my nerves in my sides are trying to come back now, but only at night time for some reason..its weird. everytime i try to sleep on my side, the opposite side will start having a burning/stinging sensation to where i cant stand it and have to move to my back..i dont know why it happens to the opposite side that im laying on. oh well, just another part of this looong healing process. well i have some new pictures up..good day!
I had my 4 week postop check up today..he said...
I had my 4 week postop check up today..he said everything is going great.Just reminded me to put lotsss of lotion on my scar and told me that I can start doing light exercises. yay! I am so ready to try to firm up my this jiggle butt before summer lol. I tried on bikinis today for my boyfriend just to kill some time at the store. It felt so good to be able to wear them with confidence..and the thing is,my scar didnt even look that bad when it was showing. he was so surprised, he told me he wished he could jump on me in the dressing room because im too hott.haha...he's not the father of my two boys, so he didnt know how i looked without all the loose skin, its such a change! well ive been wearing my old clothes again just fine, everything fits,its just the rubbing of the jeans that hurt so i still try to stick with leggings and long summer dressings for the most part. i have to wear this garment for another 2 weeks and then going to have my next check up in 2 months..cant even imagine how different it will look by then. its crazy to think i was so upset over everything right after the surgery, because im thrilled now. all my worries were just caused by swelling and drugs lol. since the swelling has gone down and i am able to stand straight again, the incision isnt actually as high as it was before and my torso doesnt look so lumpy and short like it had before..im so glad all that is over with haha. and i think my boyfriend is too! he probably got tired of hearing about it. oh,and my ps gave me the before and after pictures today, it really shows the difference..ill have to post them sometime. as for now, im going to enjoy the rest of my night with a movie.
have a good week!
It feels like it's been forever since I have been...
It feels like it's been forever since I have been on this thing. I decided I'm not going to add any more pictures until I've reached my weightloss goal of 10lbs lol. Shouldn't be that hard, but with my boyfriend always wanting to eat out, it will be. ahh. So Im actually still pretty swollen under the incision line..it feels hard as a rock, i cant wait until that is gone. Everything else is pretty much in the clear, except after I eat a meal and work out. I started sprinting and doing squats every other day about 2 weeks ago. The sprinting gets me swollen more than anything and I have to sleep right afterwards..that's why I usually save it til night time lol.
I am still very happy with the results, there are those few things that I think I will never get over, but I cant describe how thrilled I feel to be able to sit down and not have an immediate skin bulge hanging over my pants.
For some reason I like wearing looser shirts than I did before the surgery, which I know, makes no sense!..I don't know why..maybe it's because my self-confidence has risen and I don't feel like I need to prove that I am flat, because now I KNOW I am. And it doesnt bother me to just be comfortable in whatever I wear now. Its so relieving.
Well hopefully by next time I update this I will have lost those 10lbs and able to upload pictures..but that means it will have to be like a month from now, so until next time, Good luck and happy healing!
Well I'll be 10 weeks post op tomorrow. I said I...
14 May 2013
2 months post
Well I'll be 10 weeks post op tomorrow. I said I wouldn't update for about a month, but since I've actually gained 5lbs from muscle and only lost 2lbs of fat, there really is no point to wait until the whole 10lb loss thing lol. I learned to not care what the scale says though! I started this diet thing at 128lbs, and now I am up to 131lbs, with a much more perkier butt! yay! Ive been sprinting uphill one day, and squatting with 50lbs on my back the other days and only eating a 14cal diet..still got a long way to go till i get my dream butt though lol..
as far as the swelling, not much has changed since week 6..i still get really swollen after eating and working out..almost even worse than before. i look like im 4months pregnant almost by the end of the day. seems like its taking forever to go away!
i still am waiting to try on more bikinis, not happening until at least mid june because i want a full 2 months of my diet and workout to see results.
even though im doing all this stuff to get healthy, at the end of the day i still feel so fat from the swelling, its pretty depressing..can't really tell if you're getting better or worse because all the fluid build up is covering up my results..maybe one day it will all of a sudden just be gone and i'll wake up a changed toned woman..haha..i can dream :)
He has won awards and been on television for his success in studying cosmetic procedures. I have also viewed his before and after photos and they are just amazing!