49 Years Old, 500cc Saline Implants Deflated and Scheduled to Be Removed Soon - Spokane, WA

About 12 years ago I decided to have breast implants due to the impact that having 3 children and nursing them had done to my breasts. I was aprox. 5'5, 135 lbs. and 36 B to a small C. A different doctor put in large 500cc Saline Implants under the muscle. When I got them I couldn't believe how huge they were and they didn't ever really feel natural. It was very hard to sleep and exercising was extremely challenging to try and keep them in place. I always felt very self conscious about them because I had to try and cover them up to look professional at work.  After I went through a divorce about 5 years ago I went back to the doctor who put them in and asked about getting them removed. He told me I wouldn't like what I looked like and discouraged me and told me they looked good. So I was scared to have them out fearing that I would look like a freak of nature. I've hit that time of life where I don't want to be less than what I am, I'm going through menopause and I have gained about 20 lbs. which I am trying to loose. But those huge breasts made me look even more overweight. With the weight gain, my breasts had gotten even larger. I was probably a 38D to a DD. Every time I would put on a cute top or summer dress, I would be spilling out over the top of it and that was not what I ever wanted to look like. My shoulders had been impacted by the bras straps and the weight of the implants. So did my skin on my chest, you could see small stress lines above my cleavage that made me feel old. Through all this, I thought about having them removed for a long time. Reading many women's reviews on this site, and how happy they were that they were out helped me go forward. Of course you never know, and it is a scary decision. So I decided I would go and have a consultation with a different doctor who had excellent reviews on this site. He was wonderful and agreed with me that the breast implants were too large for my frame. He gave me the option to have them removed, have smaller implants put in, have a removal with a lift or because I was undecided on what I wanted to do, he gave me the option to have the saline removed from my implants and see what happened to my skin in the next 3 months then have the implant removed. Then make a plan based on the outcome! That worked for me! So I made the appointment to have the saline removed. (This wouldn't have been an option if I had silicone). When you have implants they become a part of you and your mind believes they are real. It was strange to live with the large breasts and see the clear, sterile, saline come out into a syringe. It didn't hurt to have that done, but I watched as my breasts went down in size then he showed me that the implant is still there and it will remain there until it will be removed later, so I can still feel it at the bottom. When I stood up it was so weird. I felt like I had went on a huge diet! They were only slightly dimpled but that wasn't bad, I had enough breast tissue to not be too flat. They were almost like the breasts I left behind 12 years ago. In the past few days the dimples have gone away totally! When I went to my appointment, I took along with me one of the shirts I loved to wear but the buttons would come undone due to my large breasts and a nice sports bra. So when I left, I buttoned up my nice blouse and my coat and everything fit nicely not tight and constrictive! I was a happy camper. I could breath!!! On the way home I bought a few push up bras which make me feel a little better in this transition. The size I can wear is about a 36 C to a D. Nobody has even said anything to me at all! Just that I look as if I have lost weight! My boyfriend was worried because he never knew me without huge boobs and I'm not sure how he feels, but he knew they were bothering me. So hopefully he will adjust. I am in a sports bra at night so nobody will see me for a while! You cannot believe how nice it is to put on a sports bra and run on the treadmill without feeling like you have two huge water balloons under your chest muscles! I can sleep on my stomach again and I feel so much more lively! Soon I will have a consultation to see when I have the deflated implants out if I am planning on having a lift. The decision is mine and I am kind of leaning towards not having a lift at this point. They are smaller, but with the bras they make now days, I can look as lifted as I want to, and I am not crazy about the lollipop scars that would be there to do a lift, and the cost and recovery would be greater to have that done. So at this point, I am feeling like I may just live with what I have and be happy. (I already am so glad that I have made this decision). Sometimes through life you make decisions based on the here and now and not thinking in the future. I wish I would have been happy with myself then, because no matter what if you get implants you will be told you have to have them redone in a decade or so. When you are young you think well, "I want these now!" Not thinking of how they will impact all of your activities including breathing and sleeping! Two very essential activities! LOL! Anyway, I am a happy girl. Just wanted to share this incase anyone else is going through the same contemplation.