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Not sure if this is the right place for this.. but...
Not sure if this is the right place for this.. but I've been reading stories on this site since I got my tattoo.. Im having a lot of trouble accepting it and feel like any support will help .. I got my tattoo on Monday and haven't ate or really slept since .. which is huge for me because those are my two favorite things ! I am just so disgusted with myself and don't know what else to do.. im angry because I knew after she did the outline that I didn't like it but let her continue to do it.. I regret it more then anything... in the beginning I thought I loved tattoos and would feel beautiful with one.. so I decided on an anchor with flowers on my foot.. to honor my dad who served 20+ years in the navy and flowers to represent my mom ... I found the best artist around and the best tattoo on Google that fit me and made the biggest mistake of my life .. as soon as i got home from the appointment I realized what I had done and passed out from shear shock.. ive never done that .. all I can think about is getting it off and how stupid i am.. but don't have nearly enough money right now.. I see it out of the corner of my eye and wish I could just wash it off.. I feel dirty and disgusted. Waking up after one or two hours of sleep is the worst because that is when the old me would feel most at peace after a good nights sleep.. yet I get a little less upset when it gets later in the night because I can get a few hours of sleep and not obsess over it... even then i still dream about it.. i hate living like this ..Literally the only thing helping me is constantly reading about others in the same boat and obsessing over tattoo removal information.. but still my stomach is turning .. im 20 years old and have been sleeping in my moms room ever since because I can't stand the thought of being alone.. then I panic and think about how long and grueling the process will be and how am I supposed to pay for it and work since its on my foot .. I just feel so hopeless and scared .. every second feels like an hour... idk how long I can deal with it .. and to top it off this was my 21st birthday present that's on Thursday.. and now I'll probably spend it crying and consume myself with regret .. and my mom feels bad for me but can't understand why i "let something so superficial ruin my life.. its just a foot ! Who cares what it looks like! Own it and man up" hearing that from her just makes me feel worse.. I wish I could turn back time and not be such an idiot .. don't get me wrong tattoos are nice on others but not me .. I'm ocd and this is probably worst thing I could've done to myself . Thank you to any caring person who took the time to read about a perfect stranger rambling on and on .. the worst part is that I'm blessed to be healthy and have a wonderful family and can't be happy with this .. ugh .. I'm usually not a complainer.. but dam.. this killing me . I just want it gone.. help ?