Should Have Trusted Myself - Scottsdale, AZ
I knew what I wanted. I researched for a year. I...
- 11 Sep 2012
I knew what I wanted. I researched for a year. I had my mind all made up when I saw both doctors for a consult. I only saw the second because someone insisted I got a second opinion. I liked the first doctor just fine and felt good about his education and experience. So I am not sure how I was so easily persuaded by the second doctor to completely change my mind. Maybe it was that all-knowing, arrogance some surgeons have when they say, "trust me, I know what you want."
I wanted silicone, below the muscle. The doctor convinced me that because I had substantial breast tissue I should "save my money" & go for the saline. I was insistant that EVERY woman I knew with implants hated saline and ended up getting silicone. He was very persuasive. Since POD 28, I have wished I had stuck to my wishes, since money was not the issue.
Now I guess it is coincidence, but I have had about 75% breast & nipple numbess since my surgery, April 2011, and the ONLY sensation I do feel is pain. It sucks. I don't like the hard domes of saline, nor the daily reminder that I spent so much and didn't even get what I wanted. I don't know why I didn't go with the nice surgeon.
They're not flat on top anymore so tops look better and I can pull off braless in some things
My breasts are purely eyes only- my husband cannot touch them because the numbness/painful feeling I get is so uncomfortable
I personally miss the pleasurable feeling I used to get from them
They're hard- even a friends toddler who laid their head on my chest said "ooh they're hard!"
Having them redone is expensive
My motivation was purely my own. My husband sat there at my second consult saying "This is dumb, you are beautiful." I insisted after nursing 2 kids I wanted them to be fuller again to make me happy. Just me. Which I am NOT:(
The outcome is a daily reminder that I make bad choices. I would absolutely have the surgery again, with the 1st doctor, who wanted to give me what I want. I would not let arrogance and a fancy Scottsdale office and a shiny blue Mercedes persuade me. I am only saying my ACTUAL experience was not worth it. It just took me so many years to have a spare $5800 that now I am depressed nearly daily at the thought of what I did. And how uncomfortable they are.
It has changed my life.... well my OBGYN said I have indogenous depression since my surgery. I have NEVER had any kind of depression in my life. I have a nothing to be sad about. But I have been since my surgery, and have gained a lot of weight!
I wish I had known... I wish I had spoken up. I wished I had felt more breasts! I wish I had gotten a hands on feel of both silicone and saline. I wish I had asked the doctor why all of his employees had larger-than-life silicone when he insisted to me that I go for a natural look. (The most common comment I got from friends was they couldn't tell I had anything done.) I wasn't trying to go stripper-sized *no offense to strippers but I am a nurse, & its not flattering in scrubs to be top-heavy. But I would've liked them a cup size bigger. I wish I knew about the possibility of such numbness and constant discomfort.
I am scared removing them won't help & then I will be left more unhappy and having wasted thousands of dollars.
I gave him an average rating because as perioperative nurse I have been around many surgeons and I should have known better that his arrogance and demeanor is pretty standard and by no means an indication of his greatness, nor was his bragging on his greatness. It is in his responsiveness that I gave him a poor score, because his responsiveness to what I wanted was non-existant. I voiced all of my concerns, my desires, but ultimately got what he wanted. And I have been unhappy ever since then. :(