6 WEEKS PO- Doing well and LOVING my new bubbies!! TT healing well.
- updated 10 months ago
Hi lovely ladies, You have no idea how...
- 11 Jan 2013
- 3 days pre
Hi lovely ladies,
You have no idea how difficult this is for me. I was almost in tears taking my pictures today. It is because of your honesty and bravery sharing your intimate pictures and thoughts that has given me the courage to write this and post my own (scary) pictures.I work so hard with my clothing and makeup to look good everyday but its all smoke and mirrors. I realized that I never even allow myself to see what I look like naked anymore as Im so ashamed at how my body is looking. I take so much time with my hair, use great products on my skin and always wear inserts in my bra, clothes to hide the bad and accentuate the positive, wider legged jeans to balance out the hips, etc, etc. Its SO exhausting having to work so hard at it. I want dressing to be easier. Do you know how I feel?
A bit about myself. I am 52 years young, and have 3 young adult children... 2 still at home. Im 5'7" tall and weight about 200 lbs. Yikes...Iknow....too big. I was around 130 lbs in my 20s and after 3 kids (in my 30s) my weight settled at about 160-170. I actually felt pretty good at this weight. It sounds like alot but I seem to be able to carry more weight than smaller boned woman can. I was in a very emotionally abusive marriage for 20 years and at the age of 40 was finally set free! It seems strange looking back but for those 20 years of my life my self esteem had become so nonexistent that I actually didnt want a divorce. I was raised that marriage is forever and I guess I was so brainwashed that didnt realize how horribly unhappy I actually was. It wasnt until my husband left me for another woman (one of his many!) and decided that he didnt want to be a father anymore, that I feel my life actually began. I was a single mom of 3 kids (one with autism), having to work full time and raise the kids 100% on my own (no family around to help) but all of the sudden I felt like I could breath again. It was as though a horrible, dark cloud had disappeared from the house and my life. I started to date and realized that I wasnt the undesirable freak that he had led me to believe I was. Men actually were attracted to me and wanted to date me. I was stunned!!! I had loved, loved, loved raising my kids- they meant the world to me but I had never actually thought about what I wanted in my own life. At the age of 40, I felt like a 20 year old again. The world was my oyster!!
I am now married to a wonderful man who actually loves me and treats me with so much love and kindness. He knew how much I was wanting to repair my body and encouraged me to do whatever I felt I needed to feel good about myself. Old habits die hard- Ive felt guilty spending so much money on this upcoming plastic surgery. Ive asked him several times if I really was worth spending all this money on. He tells me that Im MORE than worth it.I got a good one this time!
In 4 days Im having a full tummy tuck (possibly with muscle repair), BA (silicone either 550ccs or 600cc- having a hard time deciding) and lipo on the hip area. I am still at least 40 lbs overweight ( I had a back injury several years ago and my weight spiraled out of control) and so am a bit nervous about the outcome with all my extra poundage. It was so helpful for me to see other woman who are also on the larger side having the tummy tucks done and having such good results. It has eased my mind.
This past year was a doozy for me. I lost 40 lbs (went from a size 18 to a size 14) and have not gained any back but have not been able to lose any more. My emotions were all over the place as my dad was dying from pancreatic cancer and had just 8 months to live after being diagnosed. I also suffer from chronic back pain and chronic fatigue.I then became very ill- had emergency gall bladder surgery and ended up in the hospital for 10 days. I had severe complications and developed pancreatitis. It tooks months for me to get my energy back and feel halfway human again. My son (with autism) also had a heck of a year. I think that my health problems realy upset him as Im his primary caretaker (his dad refuses to see him). Anyhow, Ive lost 0 lbs in the past 8 months. I decided to go ahead with my surgery though as Im just tired of waiting.
I also am in the process of building a house (in Hawaii) and we are going to retire there this summer. I want to be able to go to the beach and not hide out in an ugly 1 piece. As I plan to spend several days a week at the beach, I really am motivated to get into better shape. Also, I plan to live in sundresses and in those your arms need to look halfway decent. We flew over in November and then also December to check on the house and I actually felt attractive in my dresses. The biggest problem was my poochy stomach sticking out. Yug!
I also wanted to mention that I had surgery on my eyelids (upper and lower) after my divorce. It was such a great experience for me that I am now wanted to do it again. Dont get me wrong- it is hugely painful but the results were so worth it. I got tired of being told how tired I looked even when I felt great. The surgery gave me back my youthful look and everyone guesses my age at10-14 years younger. This was 12 years ago and Im still reaping the benefits of it. It also gave me the confidence to get back into the dating world. It gave me the confidence that resulted in my marrying a wonderful man.
I have learned so much from reading all of your postings. Thank you, thank you!!!! Love you guys!! If I can help just one person then my time here spent writing this is worth it. Im posting some before pictures and after my surgery next week I will post new ones.
Ok, so its the night before my surgery and I think...
- 14 Jan 2013
- 1 day pre
Ive been thinking about this for the past year and now just need to veg for the night and be at peace with my decision.
I know that so many woman on here are very worried about being judged and I can completely relate to those feelings.
I think that Im in a bit of a different situation though as Im moving soon to the middle of the Pacific ocean where nobody knows me and wont be comparing my befores and afters. I also dont have any family nearby and they are not very observant or curious and so I really dont think theyll notice. I may even wear a minimizer on those rare occasions when I see them. There are many woman that developed large chests naturally and Im just going to be confident in my new body and not let anyones opinions affect me.
There are people that will judge you if they think youre not attractive enough or dont have as much money as them and there are people that will judge you as being superficial if they think you look too good or have more money than them. Thats why you need to feel confident in yourself and not care so much about others opinions. The right people will love you just how you are and who cares about the others!!
This is the best part of being 52. When you reach the age of 40 (at least this was the age of enlightenment for me) I realized how stupid I had been to be so overly concerned with what other people thought of me. You finally realize what a waste of time that is. Im kind and considerate to other people and if they dont like me its really THEIR issue and not mine.
Ok- off my soapbox.....sorry if I run on too much...
I wont go into the supplies Ive bought as there are 100s of those lists already online.
I was struck with how hard of a decision it is to decide which size to go with for the BA. I think that its such an emotional issue and the Drs that talkabout it as though its just a question of the size of your chest wall are missing a huge component of the issue. I wont go into all the different reasons why I chose what I did (because its probably just the rambling thoughts of a semi-crazy mind.) lol I did however come to the relaization that I didnt want small breasts that would look completely "natural". I had the desire to have very nice, full and larger sized assets. I decided that I wanted the largest that wouldnt look rediculous for me and that my body could handle. I looked at 1000s of pictures and decided that a very full D (up to 650ccs) looked great, but anything larger looked stupid to me. Now this is completely just my own opinion. Everyone needs to make their own decisions about sizing. My body would look incomplete with 350ccs whereas a
much shorter, smaller boned woman would look terrific with this size. In my mind I had to seperate what I felt others would think or want with what I really wanted....and I wanted some really nice sized knockers!! lol After breast feeding 3 kids (a year each) and having a larger bone structure Im able to accomodate 600ccs silicone.
Ive read over and over woman saying that they wished they had gone bigger. I decided to do just that . I watched my daughter love her new bubbies (450cc silicone). They felt so large to hetr at first because she was starting out very flat. Now at 6 months PO, she has gotten used to having them, they have fluffed and dropped and now shes wishing she had gone just a bit bigger (500-550). Do we all just want more than we have?? Will I be wanteinmg mine bigger after getting used to DD's? I really hope not!! I have decided that I will be happy with them no matter what the shape and size turn out to be. Im going to start working on my weight once again when Im healed and just learn contentment with what I have. Im not going to start obsessing over my fat thighs when my stomach and chest have nothing for me to complain about!!!!!
Thanks for listening to my ramblings. Please say a prayer for my surgery tomorrow and I will also say one for yours. See you on the other side.....hugs!!
Thanks everyone for your kind thoughts and...
- 18 Jan 2013
- 3 days post
Heres an update on my surgery experience. Im so happy to let you know that it was so much easier than I had anticipated. I went in at 8:45 and was taken into the surgery suite at 10:15. I felt a complete sense of peace during the process. I layed down on the table, had the i.v. put in (it burned a little), went to sleep and woke up 3 1/2 hours later. It felt like minutes.I had a full TT, muscle repair, lipo on my hips and 600 cc silicone BA. I woke up very easily and heard the nurse calling my hub to come get me. I couldnt stop smiling- I was so happy that it was over with. 3 days later and Im still smiling. I cant believe how flat my stomache is!! And I LOVE LOVE LOVE my new boobs!! Heres a breakdown on the pain process for the first few days.
Tues (Jan 15th) surgery day- My pain levels were very low today. I woke up from surgery feeling great. My stomache and hips feel good. The most pain is in my Left boob. Putting onthe surgical bra hurt- burning, stabbing pain but once on felt much better. Laying down I have no pain. Getting in and out of bed is BAD BAD BAD. Thats when the burning, stabbing boob pain starts up. Forget trying to push up with your arms. It hurts! You need help getting in and out of bed. Walking to the bathroom I felt very dizzy all day and it made me nauseous. Tried to throw up. Big mistake. Just keep it down! Finally used a nausea suppository. Couldnt get it in myself- had to have hub put it it in. Embarrassing!! Got up every 2 hours to walk around and go to the bathroom. Toilet seat riser (with handles) is a must!! Very helpful. I had a very sore throat and everything tasted bad. I drank LOTS of fluids all day. Slept well at night. Had to wake my husband twice to help me to the bathroom. I cant even feel the drains at all.
Wed (Jan 16) day 1 postop-
Nausea gone. Still dizzy when walking to the bathroom. Still drinking lots of water. Feeling really good today. The worst is getting out of bed. I get these sharp burning spasms in my boobs. Mostly the left one. Stomache doesnt hurt and neither do my lipoed hips. I had delivered a sleep number adjustable bed 2 days before my surgery. It has helped so much as I can get really comfortable laying down . It is like a hospital bed. It is ugly when the back is up, etc but when down it looks like a normal bed. An adjustable bed or an adjustable bed is very helpful. All fo the pain I was having occured when getting in and out of bed- we finally figured a solution. I get my legs onthe side of the bed and my husband lifts me up while i go completely limp not using any of my muscles at all. I can finally get out of bed without all of the booby pain. Great day!!
PO day 2 -
Worst day yet. Woke up with a bad headache. Coffee and food helped.My back was extremely painful. I was hunched over all day when trying to walk. Back was spasming badly. This must be the swell hell that I read about. I really dont feel very swollen but something is definetely going on in my abdomen for me to be having so much back pain. Its funny- my stomache still doesnt hurt. My brain just doesnt seem to know where the pain is coming from exactly. My primary care Dr told me to expect pain on day 3 as this is when the swelling flares up. Still dizzy when walking around. Im cleared for a shower (48 hrs) but dont think I can handle it. I just wash my face, brush teeth and use wet wipes so that I feel human. I finally took the bandages off my stomache because Im so curious what my stomache looks like. I swear Im looking at someone elses stomache. WOW WOW WOW It is flat, the incisions look great,my hips even tho swollen are so much smaller and i have a tiny new little belly button. Im so happy I HAD THIS DONE!
PO day 3-
Back still hurts but not as much. I am keeping up with the pain meds (percocet) every 3-4 hours. The first day I took it every 2-3 hours. My Dr said to take it regularly and not to wait for pain to take it as thats a big mistake. It can be hard to catch up with the pain. I dont like taking narcotics but with this type of surgery I think its crucial in order to heal properly and be comfortable while healing. I will post pics when I can get to the 2nd floor computer. Ive been stuck up onthe 3rd floor. I will write more when I can- writing makes me dizzy- must be the percocet. Good luck and wishes to those healing right now an dthose anticipating their sugeries. I will try to answer any questions asked.....
Update day 4 postop..... Every day seems so...
- 19 Jan 2013
- 4 days post
Every day seems so different with this process. I finally posted a few postop pics where I feel like I look like a weird science experiment- my daughter keeps telling me how good I look but I know shes lying. My boobs are up to my neck and really tight and my stomache just looks creepy. I AM however completely convinced that within a few months (hopefully sooner) I will be pleased with the surgery. I realize that this is not a simple surgery and that it takes time to see the full results. I am getting more of my movement back although the pain is still pretty bad in my back when moving around. I finally took a shower today - could not sit down in the chair we'd put in the shower and had to stand. The warm water felt heavenly!!! I still cant stand for long tho and get tired easily. I felt cranky today as Im tired of doing nothing!!! I finally made it down to the 2nd floor and hung out for awhile on a recliner couch. I snapped at my husband because he was playing his music REALLY LOUD downstairs while cooking. I think that hes looking forward to going back to work on Tuesday. lol I know that its starting to wear on him taking care of me 24/7. I promised him that someday I will change his diapers for him!! lol Anyhow- I think that the waiting to recover is just as bad as the recovery itself. Any suggestions anyone???? My incisions are sore, wearing a tight surgical bra and compression garment on stomache and hips. They feel better on than off. Maybe tomorrow Ill get to go for a short drive....we'll see.....
Po day 5- Im wondering how other people stop...
- 20 Jan 2013
- 5 days post
Im wondering how other people stop taking their meds. I dont think I need them as much for pain anymore. Should I go cold turkey and switch to tylenol or go slower and just take a few today? I feel the need to have my brain back and dont want to get hooked on the percocet. Any suggestions would be appreciated....thanks!!
This is PO day 8, just beginning my second week....
- 23 Jan 2013
- 8 days post
I went to my 1st PO appointment yesterday.Had the...
- 25 Jan 2013
- 10 days post
Ok- what else? My boobs are still not dropping. I could tell they looked weird by the intense look the Dr gave them. I was given a strap to wear above them (to push them down), a prescription for Celebrex (an asthma medicine) and told to push on them. Im a bit nervous about this. Is this normal or is this a problem? Now Im worried because if they dont drop, you have to have surgery again. This process is really a pain in the butte!!!!!!!
I forgot to mention that I started taking flexeril...
- 26 Jan 2013
- 11 days post
I havnt gone on line or read any of the comments...
- 30 Jan 2013
- 15 days post
OK- thats really not even the worst part. My boobs may be messed up.They are not dropping at all. I know that its only been 2 weeks but the DR said that they should be dropping by now. Ive been pretty upset because if things dont change then I have to go back under and have a second surgical procedure done. Ive been reading up on capsular contracture (Im not sure if I said that right). Its where the new capsule holding the implant in place hardens and one or both boobs stay riding high and or look distorted. They dont know why certain woman get this and others dont. I guess Im just one of the unlucky ones. Ive been wearing a chest strap, massaging like crazy and taking singulair. Ive included new pics taken today. My boobs have high sitting pecs and a rather flat chest, LOVELY!!! WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! And so- not to scare anyone but be prepared that your results may not end up being what you want and you may have to spend a few thousand more on a redo. I have an excellent DR and so I am going to just
give it more time, and try not to worry. If they are still not behaving a few months from now, I will have to cough up the anaesthesiologists fee and have them fixed. I think its about 50/50 what way this is going to go. Yes- I feel bummed but Im trying to stay optomistic. Im just hoping that Im not one of those woman whose body rejects the implants- Ive wanted boobs for so long and I would be really disappointed if I couldnt keep them. Ive read WAY more on this subject than I care to know about it. Most drs place the inserts high as gravity naturally pulls them lower. Some drs place them lower and then bind them to keep them in that one position as they heal. That way however usually results in the boobs ending up too low (with gravity). Ive read that its usually better for them to start out too high. Please send me "good booby wishes". Wahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!! Gotta go- reality tv is once again calling my name.......
Oh- one more thing I forgot to mention. I...
- 30 Jan 2013
- 15 days post
Hope everyone is doing well with their recoveries....
- 2 Feb 2013
- 18 days post
PO day 20 I just read my last update and boy does...
- 4 Feb 2013
- 20 days post
I just read my last update and boy does it sound negative! This process leaves you incredibly emotionally wrung out. Youre up and down and all around!! I AM noticing some positive changes in my "girls"- I think that all my work (massaging, strap, etc) is helping. They are becoming rather sore on a daily basis but I see that as a good thing- they must be loosening up. I have started going out in public and my tops do fit much better on me. Theres a roundness that I didnt have before. Im still not 100% happy with their shape but I do like the size that I chose. I know that 600cc's sounds huge to alot of the woman on here but believe me, they really dont look as big as it sounds. Im tall and have a wide chest area and this brings me to a full D size, just what I was looking for. Im also thrilled with having a flat stomache again. My stomache was flat after having 3 kids in my 20s and 30s. It was in my 40s that I injured my back, put on LOTS of weight and thats where I did most of the damage to my body. Anyhow, I really didnt start wanting a TT until the last few years. I always wished that I had bigger breasts but couldnt envision myself actually going under the knife for them. It was seeing my daughters great results that made me decide to do this for myself. Its never too late! I will post new pics in a few days. Please let me know if you see any change in them. ....happy healing to all of you!! :)
Sorry its been awhile since my last posting. Im...
- 16 Feb 2013
- 1 month post
I forgot to add one thing. When the nurse called...
- 16 Feb 2013
- 1 month post
Thank you so much to all of the kind and wonderful...
- 19 Feb 2013
- 1 month post
Im under the influence of percocet right now and so hopefully these words will make sense. If not, Im sure youll understand.
To backtrack- My TT originally had been healing very well until the drains were removed (1 at 1 week and the other at 2 weeks PO). At PO 3-5 weeks, I was developing seromas and had needed aspiration done 3 times to drain them. After developing a fever last week, the seromas just kept getting larger and larger. There was a risk of infection.My flat tummy looked more like a beer belly. Im thankful that my ps was proactive and chose to nip the problem in the bud and get me healing properly instead of waiting. The muscles just werent healing together as they needed to. I was a complete couch potato for 5 weeks except for one walk I took at the 2 week mark. However some of my internal stiches had come apart , maybe just because of this one walk. Please learn from my (maybe) mistake and rest even longer than you may think you need to. It is so boring and emotionally hard, but SOOOO important.
Just a few more words on the surgery. It took 1 1/2 hrs and I was put completely under. She only had to reopen me up about 6 inches- not the entire legnth of insicions.
Im not completely clear on the process= something about scraping the lining, incisions and draining (a huge amount of fluid...200 ccs?). Also, using a glulike substance sandwiched between the muscles to try to get them to stick together and heal.
Im nauseous and once again on percocet (for pain) but this time around was SOOO much easier.For those that read my entire ( long winded.....lol) blogs, this time around I was able to get the nausea suppository in by myself...lolol Im not hunched over and my only pain is in a small area instead of all over ( as with the additional BA and lipo).
Im doing really well and am planning to be a professional couch potato for the next 4 weeks at least. Doctor (and hubby) orders.
Once again, thanks for your warm wishes. You really lifted my spirits. Hugs and lots of aloha!!! xoxoxo
Oops- percocet brain here- I forgot (i think) to...
- 19 Feb 2013
- 1 month post
6 weeks PO (Thurs Feb 28th) Sorry to all my...
- 28 Feb 2013
- 1 month post
Sorry to all my cyber-angels out there who I have neglected this past week. Sometimes I just need to unplug from all things electronic. Can you relate? :)
I dont mean to not be there for you however.. Well- My 2nd surgery to take care of my seroma (at 5 weeks PO) was a week ago and it has made a huge difference in my healing. I had the drains removed 2 days ago as I have not been draining very much at all. My new incision is still oozing but it seems to be healing . The ps was encouraged by the progress. My body is not developing fluid sacs again and Im having no pain at all. Im still wearing my compression garment 24/7 and actually feel more comfortable with it on than off. Im supposed to have pretty much bed rest for at least 1 more week, maybe longer. Were taking it one week at a time. I will stay in bed (or couch) for another month if thats whats needed for me to heal properly. I know how important it is to completely let your body rest and heal and so Im 100% dedicated to being a sloth for as long as it takes . :) No more complications for me!! (I hope) Im tired of talking about my TT. (and you're probably tired of reading....yes...I DO run on.....)
Lets talk about boobs instead!! lol I had been so worried the first several weeks about my boobs not dropping and feeling so hard. I have really good news- here at 6 weeks PO, they are looking fabulous! What a difference a few weeks (and lots of massaging and wearing a strap) makes. They are now round, dropped and soft. The Right one is still about 1/2 inch higher than the left but it is almost completely there. Im so amazed at how much they feel like a natural part of my body. I guess I had thought that they would always feel like hard balls sitting on my chest but I was willing to have this in order to feel more proportionate about my body. Thats not the case at all. They feel squishy and just feel so incredibly like they were meant to be there all along. Im so thrilled with this and amazed at the entire healing process. And my husband LOVES them!!! lol
I ordered my first new bikini on line last night. I only ordered one as I wanted to make sure that I got the sizing right before I order more. I ordered a 38 DD and hope that this is the right size. If it is- they are going to make alot of money off of me. Ill let you know whether the quality and service of venus.com is good or not. I plan to have an entire drawer set aside for just bikinis!! The thought makes me smile so big!! lol
I have a trip planned for early April to go see my new house near the beach and so Ill be able to try out my bikini at that time. You see- I havnt worn a bikini since 1981. Thats a LONG time ago! Physically Im 52 years old, emotionally I dont feel over 30, people say that I look like Im no older than 40.( I take really good care of my skin and so I dont have many wrinkles. I use daily sunscreen and lots of liquid crap,,lol) And now my physical body looks so much more proportionate- I finally have an hour glass shape. Well- a larger hour glass!!! lol Im not sure what the point was that I was trying to get across- lol I apologize-my brain cells have been taking a nap the longer that Ive been sitting around watching so much reality t.v. Sorry if Im not totally logical with my train of thought! lol I did order 2 new self help type books- trying to also work on my insides as my outsides are healing. I also am studying the Hawaii motor vehicles manual so that I can get my licence when were over there. I havnt gotten far. Anyhow- I think the reason I mentioned this is because it helps so much (me at least) to have something to look forward to. Ive always been a big goal setter. Thinking of swimming in the ocean in a bikini makes me so happy that it helps me get through the rough times. This morning all of a sudden I started to really miss my dad who passed away last June. I couldnt stop crying. Being in bed makes me feel so useless and vulnerableand more emotional, I guess. I then got out of bed and got out several old tankinis (really cute ones) that I had never worn because I couldnt fill out the top and my stomache and hips were too big. Well- I totally fill out the top now and my stomache is flat and my hips are a couple of inches smaller. Sometimes its the little things that make us feel better.
Thanks again for all of the cyber- love that youve given me these past 6 weeks. I appreciate it more than you know! Big Hugs!!!!
PS_ I will post new pic soon.
I chose my doctor as Ive had a procedure done previously (eyes). My daughter also had a procedure from same Drs. The Drs are a husband- wife team and Stanford and Harvard U trained. Beautiful facilities, great staff and very impressive and personable all around. I have absolutely nothing negative to say about them.I had complete confidence in them. They work together and so you have 2 impressive Drs working on you at once which makes the surgery go much faster with less time under anaesthesia. This also gave me added piece of mind. An update at 6 weeks PO- I had a complication with my tummy tuck as I developed a large seroma. Dr Furnas was proactive and scheduled me for surgery 4 days later. I am so impressed with her integrity and the way she took care of the problem immediately. I am now healing well and on the road to recovery. Also my breast augmentation is healing well and they are looking amazing! I am very happy with the care that I recieved. They care about the ultimate results of the work that they do. Wonderful doctors!