36 Years Old, 3 Kids, Active/Athletic, Desire Natural Look - San Francisco, CA

I am really feeling anxious, uncertain... Have...

I am really feeling anxious, uncertain... Have cold feet. I have been contemplating a Breast Augmentation for ages. I do not like the way my flat chest looks in most fashions. And I love fashion and clothes!! So tired of wearing a heavy super padded bra that is always falling down. However, I usually am in workout attire and don't mind my small breasts in workout clothes. Personally, I think they are cute when I am naked. But when I am in a swim suit I wish I had a bigger breasts. Ugh. So anyway, I am scheduled for 5/20 after tons of research and talking to lots of surgeons. Going to have small silicone, lower profile, under the muscle... Maybe 275 cc? Not sure on size yet. Going for small C cup. But I am scared I am going to mess up my cute little boobs... Or eventually regret doing it. Don't fix it if it ain't broke? I also worry that my kids, who love love love to cuddle w me won't be able to cuddle with me the same way anymore. And I worry about sleeping. Will I have to worry about them slipping to the side because I am a back sleeper? And what about this silicone toxicity stuff? Is it really no longer a concern w the cohesive gels? And how awful are mammograms going to be now? Thoughts appreciated if anyone reads this.

Probably Going to Cancel

I am ridiculously disappointed. My husband told me tonight for the first time ever that he does not think I should have the breast augmentation. Up until this point he has been very neutral and supportive. He has said he thinks I look great now but that I should do whatever I want. And despite all my uncertainties, I had a chance to go out w girlfriends on Friday night and the task of selecting an outfit and taping my damn bra to myself and to my shirt reminded me that I really really do want to do this. But then we got in an argument tonight because he thinks I have unrealistic expectations that I will be able to have it done without a lot of people noticing. And that is when he came out with it. That he simply thinks I should not do it. That the risks outweigh the benefits. That i "look good now" and could end up having them messed up sooner or later. So that is that. I have not told many people but of those I have told, virtually no one thinks I should do it. My mom is HIGHLY opposed. My sister is supportive but feels I could be making a mistake. One of my best friends is supportive but not encouraging necessarily. I have two other girlfriends I have told and they both think I should do it but one already had it done and the other wants to. No one else knows. So ultimately having my husband state this opinion puts a whole new perspective on things. I probably shouldn't do it. But I am here in bed crying with disappointment. :(

Still Scheduled! Hernia drama too.

Well I calmed down and did not cancel. My husband is still supportive of whatever I decide... But his opinion is that I shouldn't. I am definitely dissuaded by the fact that people who love and care about me feel the surgery might not be in my best interest. But at the end of the day I really think it is something I want. So as of now, moving forward. The day is swiftly approaching.

Unfortunately I have the added drama of having to weigh in repair of my umbilical hernia. It returned after abdominoplasty. My original surgeon claims that it is not medically necessary to repair. The surgeon I have selected for BA strongly disagrees because there is a hole in my muscle wall. He was ready to submit it to my insurance but then I found out that he is not in network (I have HMO). Since I carefully selected the BA surgeon, I do not really want to consider someone else... And I don't think it makes sense to have two surgeries an go under anesthesia twice. So I guess I am going to pay for the hernia repair myself. Unless I decide to cancel the Breast Augmentation. Then I would find a doctor in network to repair hernia.

Getting Close. I Guess I am Really Doing This!!

So the PS office called today to confirm that I am really moving forward on this. I have my appt on Monday to make the final implant selection. I confirmed I will be there!

My husband has come back around to being very supportive. I think he just began to worry that my health could be compromised or that complications in the future would be too burdensome for me. But we have chatted through it and I think we both feel confident that I have selected the best PS I could and that risk is not significant. Realistically, the risk is much lower than that I faced w my abdominoplasty. But that surgery was much less elective. There was a cosmetic aspect but I really needed to have my abdominal muscles repaired. I did not feel conflicted about that surgery at all.

Getting excited but also so very nervous and anxious that I can barely sleep. My mom will be coming out to help w the kids etc the week of the surgery. Keep on mind that she is completely opposed to it! But she insists on coming and honestly we really need her. I am not telling my MIL and don't have any other child care option. I am so grateful for my moms help but am also fearful of her judgmental and negative comments. Ugh. Will be happy when this is all over. The abdominoplasty was a nightmare to recover from and everyone thought I should do that.

Had my Pre-Op Today!!

So the big day is two weeks away! I ha my pre-op today. I was so nervous that I felt like I might vomit. I asked about 300 gazillion questions and we selected my implants! I am going with Sientra Textured Round Moderate Projection 255 cc implants. I took my normal little sports bra in this time to try on the sizers. So they fit in there snugly this time and looked much less saggy and frumpy. Even so, I felt most comfortable with the 250's. My PS really felt they were the best choice for my frame. The diameter should be perfect for my chest width. So feeling confident that I am going to like the results. My PS says that I will likely forget that I even have implants and that they will just feel like they are part of me. :)

My Stats

Having now perused so many other reviews I realize it would have been helpful to others if I had given my stats.

5'9"
130/135 lb
36 years old
3 children - exclusively breast fed each for 1 year (2 yrs total because the younger two are twins)
Breast Augmentation scheduled for 5/20 with Sientra Textured Round Moderate Projection 255 CC implants.

Before Pics

Before Pictures. Can't decide whether to choose 255 cc or 285 cc.

Feeling Much More Calm

I am still nervous but finally feeling quite confident that I will be glad I chose to do this. I am still grappling with the size dilemma. However, after making rice sizers with my husband, still leaning toward the smaller 255 cc implant. Honestly, I even feel like the 255 cc feels HUGE. Much bigger than the padded bra I am accustomed to. So if I lose a little volume under the muscle, I do not think I will mind. In fact it might be better. I just want to avoid the flat wide look. I have seen a few small implants that never seem to develop that natural tear drop shape. Need to talk to PS about this one more time. Anyway, my husband took some pics w the sizers. I am facing diff directions. But you get the idea. I do not feel like the photos capture the full in-person look. They seem much bigger when I look in the mirror. And the 30 cc diff between the 2 sizes seems much more pronounced.

All Done!

My surgery was yesterday morning. Everything seems to have gone well. I have a pain pump and have minimal pain. My hernia repair seems to be the most tender and it adds an extra recovery challenge because I have to try not to use my core muscles. I have sneezed twice (couldn't stop it) and that hurts the hernia area! I have only taken my stool softener as directed and 2 pain pills mostly because I have a mild headache. I have some anti-anxiety medication and anti-nausea but have not needed either of those. I was prepared for this to be much more difficult than it has been so far.

After consulting with my surgeon again last week, I decided to stick with my original size selection of 255 cc. I like what I can see of the results. I still have my surgical bra on. I will try to get my hubby to get a pic of me later but it is hard to get a good one because I have this pain pump in the way. I imagine I have some swelling but at this point I really do not feel like I lost any volume going under the muscle. Definitely happy that I went with the smaller size.

My kids do not know about the BA and just know that Mommy had her hernia on her tummy repaired. Everyone has been very supportive and helpful while I am recovering. So grateful for my wonderful mom, husband, and children. Feel very fortunate. :)

2 Days Post Op. First Pics!

I started with a headache late in the evening of my surgery day. It was mild. I still had it the next morning and took my second pain pill to try to treat it. It subsided but then returned with a major vengeance. I felt awful all day yesterday. Severe headache that was much worse than any of the surgery pain. I took one more (my third total) pain pill in the early afternoon and then it hit me that I am probably having a headache as a reaction to the pain pills. Ironic. I have not taken another pain pill since and am finally feeling better.

The most painful part is my hernia repair. I am trying to be SO careful not to use my core muscles. Unfortunately I could not stop a really small cough this morning. I braced my tummy with my arm but the pain pump was in the way and I could not fully move it in time to brace as well as I would have liked. It really hurt a lot am now I am paranoid that I could have damaged the hernia repair. :(

The boobies look good. They have not made their debut outside the surgical bra yet. Tomorrow is the day. I am to remove the pain pump and can shower. I am a little nervous for it.

Thank heavens I did not go any bigger!! These are bigger than I expected. Definitely did not lose any volume going under the muscle. I think it will be a really good size once the swelling goes down. I still need to adjust to them. I think they look bigger in the mirror than in the pics. This giant white surgical bra is certainly exaggerating the size too I think.

The Unveiling

Today was 3 Days Post Op so I removed my pain pump, showered, and changed my bandages. It is strange how I feel like the boobies look so much bigger in real life than they do in pictures. Anyway, very happy with the results so far. Not sure about the hernia repair. Will update on that later.

Post Op Yesterday

I had my post op appointment yesterday and it was good news and bad news. Good news is the boobies are looking great and healing well. I had a short episode on days 4 & 5 of having significant pain recur in my right breast after reaching for a door. I was quite worried about it and began to think it could be a small hematoma but everything felt better by day 6 and I am completely mobile and just mildly tender now.

The bad news is that my hernia repair did not take. I thought something was wrong on day 3 when I removed the bandage for the first time. The stitches on the mesh must have popped... Perhaps when I sneezed. Will update more on that later. Here is an update photo.

Emotional Roller Coaster!

I knew that recovering from this surgery would take an emotional toll on me. I have had to put my regular exercise routine on hold, change my regular schedule and get-togethers with friends, limit my physical interaction with the kids, rely on help for completing household chores and daily tasks. This is all difficult stuff but I expected it. I even expected that I would question whether the recovery process was worth the final outcome. However, I did not anticipate the doubt I would feel about whether I even like myself with larger breasts. The first few excursions outside the home were very difficult for me. I felt like my chest looked huge under my clothes. I felt like it gave me the appearance of a much heavier person and exaggerated my height and size. Subsequently I went through a phase of deeply regretting having the procedure done. I found myself looking longingly at flat chested women and missing my former self. I know this sounds totally insane. Especially because I knew that the results looked really good and were just what I asked for.

I finally bought myself some pretty bras (no underwire) that look nice under my old tops. This, combined with the fact that some of the swelling has gone down and they are falling more naturally and softly, has helped a lot. They definitely are fitting under blouses much more nicely than in the first few days. I now feel pleased with the way I look in clothes.

I do mildly wonder if I should have considered selecting a smaller implant. It genuinely never even occurred to me! You seem to only hear about regrets about not going bigger. But I love the smaller, more modest size (and admittedly typically natural) of the Nordstrom models and even the sizes depicted on their mannequins. Now I think my chest is bigger than most of those models.

Regardless, I have to admit they look pretty darn good. And I went to another post op today and my PS says I still have swelling that will go down. So I am just going to begin enjoying my new figure an stop second guessing myself!!

Photos w/ Bra and Top

Thought these might help a bit. Still feel they look bigger in real life.

6 Weeks

So I just had my 6 week post op this a couple days ago. Everything looks great and I am cleared to resume normal cardio. Still take it easy on the heavy core work for a bit longer. I actually have not run yet but plan to try soon. Still a tiny bit tender.

I am finally feeling like I am ready to stamp this review as "worth it". I have definitely had my doubts and even regrets along the way. But as I have healed I have felt more and more like myself. I am still not certain I would choose to do this again. Some part of me still feels like I mutilated myself. Elective plastic surgery is tricky. Something I personally will avoid in the future.

Despite my uncertainties about things, I really do like my results and am enjoying the look with clothes. Swelling has really gone down a lot. I still fit in my size 2 JCrew button shirts for work. But I definitely would not have fit in them if I would have even gone up to 275 cc. Happy I did not go bigger!!

9 Weeks

I feel almost normal. Think about implants much less frequently. Cardio exercise 100% back to normal. Have not tried weight bearing (like BodyPump which I used to do all the time). I think it still might be a little uncomfortable to flex pectoral muscles during heavy lifting.

The breasts don't look much different in these photos but I feel the swelling is completely gone. They are a little far apart but I guess that is just my anatomy (and low breast fat tissue prior to implant). The right bra brings them closer together. I am wearing bras with no underwire and have found that a 32B fits best. I have a bunch of swim suits and dresses with very low cut v-necks. Prior to surgery they used to be no big deal. Now they really emphasize the implant. Perhaps in a way that is less than ideal. :( you can see the unnatural roundness and separation despite fullness. But aside from this fashion they look very natural in clothing. Mostly feeling good about my decision to augment.

My Natural Breastfeeding Breasts vs. Augmented Breasts

So in my last update I mention I wish that my augmented breasts were a little closer together. They are slightly more separated than my natural breastfeeding breasts. However, I also think they are a but smaller which might account for some of the additional separation. Perhaps the rest should be attributed to going under the muscle? Anyway, here are a couple pics for comparison. I actually prefer my breasts do not touch. I think it looks best on my frame. But it would be ideal if they were spaced exactly like my natural breastfeeding breasts. But I would definitely want to go any bigger! Also, since someone asked about the profile in the comments, I should note that "moderate" profile in Sientra is the medium profile, not low. So I went with the middle profile.
Kenneth Bermudez

I carefully selected Dr. Kenneth Bermudez by going to consultations with multiple doctors and reading loads of reviews. Dr. Bermudez takes plenty of time to answer questions and understand exactly what his patient wishes to achieve. His surgery technique goes beyond industry standard in ensuring that no contaminant is introduced to the surgical pocket. This essentially eliminates infections which can lead to capsular contraction. He is meticulous and his results are beautiful. Finally, his office staff is fantastic. Annalee is truly a gem. Overall a very good experience.

5 out of 5 stars Overall rating
5 out of 5 stars Doctor's bedside manner
5 out of 5 stars Answered my questions
5 out of 5 stars After care follow-up
5 out of 5 stars Time spent with me
5 out of 5 stars Phone or email responsiveness
5 out of 5 stars Staff professionalism & courtesy
5 out of 5 stars Payment process
5 out of 5 stars Wait times
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Comments (119)

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hey :) you look great. i have my ba next week. with the sizers you tried on did they feel and look the same size as the actual implant now it is in?
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Hi! Sorry I just saw your question. Yes. The suzerainty were quite accurate. Others talk about losing volume under the muscle. That was not my experience. Wishing you the best!
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Sizers. Not sure what spell check was thinking there.
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They look great on you. What confuses me now is that you got moderate profile and you have the gap in between them too. I do not understand how that works. Why some women do not have a big gap and some others do. Does your gap get wider when you open your arms? Just out of curiosity because you went with unders and I want to see if mine do that because they are overs. You look good !!
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Whatever gap or imperfections you have prior to surgery will remain after surgery and will be exacerbated by e implants because they r bigger therefore making them more noticeable. Unless you have an implant which base is to narrow or one that is wider than your bwd and your surgeon dissected your pocket wider in the cleavage area nothing will change.
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Hi. I think the separation is only slightly more exaggerated than my natural breasts when breastfeeding. My natural breasts have separation. I mildly wish they were a cm or so closer together but prefer this to having the breasts touch (for my frame - I think they look great touching on others). Anyway, I will post a pic from when I was breastfeeding. I look pretty much like now!
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Hi there just came across your review. I hope you're feeling more confident in your new look. I think you look amazing! You still have the long and lean look. I too worry that I feel "too heavy" and matronly as I've always felt lithe and tallish. I told my surgeon I don't want to feel overly boobie!! He laughed and said he doesn't hear that very often! I understand it would be such an emotional roller coaster. Us women are very in tune with our bodies. I am already anticipating that ill be crying in the mirror in the weeks post op. it's such a sacred thing - it's your BODY! And it would be such an adjustment. Anyway sorry for the essay, just wanted to say you look fabulous!
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Hi! Thank you so much for the kind words! Wishing you the best!
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Hey I was wondering what your bwd is
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Hi. Sorry I did not check this in a long time. My BWD was 12 cm. :)
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Sorry... You SHOULDN'T be worried...
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I think you look amazing! Also, all of us go through that phase where we think about what we have done. I feel the same... I wish I chose 230cc or even less. But, your look is so natural. You should be worried if anybody would think that you got them done. You just can't tell in your case. Congrats on that! Enjoy the weekend, and happy July 4th. :)
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Nikki, thank you!! I love your results too!!
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Hey stranger, so good to hear from you. You look great and I agree. That is the perfect size for you. They look natural.
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Thank you Red!
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You look absolutely amazing. I think the size is perfect and by no means do they look fake. They totally fit you body type and athletic figure.
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Hi. Thank you so much!!
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Of course!
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you look wonderful! may I ask who your PS was? I am also in the bay area!
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Hi! Thank you!! My PS is Dr. Kenneth Bermudez in San Francisco. I selected him carefully and have been very happy with my choice. In an effort to feel more anonymous I have hesitated to link my profile to him. But that makes very little sense and he already is aware of my profile. Anyway, best of luck!
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I don't want to be rude, but can I show my PS your picture after surgery. I SOOOO love your look.
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