I am living in a bit of a boob fog lately. I have...
My surgery is set for this coming Thursday, I'm paid in full, and I think I have almost all the major details sorted out. Mostly, I am worried about choosing the wrong size. Aaaah! I am 5'6", 114 pounds, and have a very straight non-curvy figure. At my pre-op appt. I tried on 300cc sizers and I think that is what I'm going for. Really my biggest concern is filling the void and making them full. I should add that I am NOT wanting anyone to notice in a big way. In fact, I may be more worried about that than anything else. I am not really comfortable with people at work knowing and I'm not sure I want to tell my parents either ... I guess that may be weird, but I am doing it for me and don't want any opinions right now at least.
A little breast history:
I have wanted breast implants since having my son in 2002 and it always seemed out of reach for so many reasons. Starting with a 32A (probably AA) cup, I breastfed both my kids and probably reached a C when most engorged. After, as I'm sure a lot of you can relate with, they turned into deflated pancakes. Not only do I have boob stretch marks, but at this point I basically have to fold my boobs into a bra. Sexy, right?
I am super super embarrassed to post my pre pictures because of how horrible I feel they look. But, I hope by doing so it can help someone!
Out with the Old
Y'all are my breast friends.
It was a bad Monday, there was so much personal family drama and work craziness that the day would have been totally free of breast thoughts had it not been for the nurse calling to give me pre-procedure instructions. Basically: don't eat after midnight (my procedure is at noon so this is gonna be HARD), wear something super comfy and loose, no eye makeup or jewelry and she let me know I can pick up the antibiotics and two pain meds from my chosen pharmacy before Thursday.
So much was on my mind and stressing me out that I ALMOST called to reschedule the whole thing ... but seeing as how my life is hectic regardless I opted to just stick it out. Being the only arts person on staff I am given a heavy workload and although I will be off - I am thinking I will have to get the ol' laptop out several times this weekend. Blah.
I hope all of you are having wonderful recoveries, and remaining stress-free if this is your BA week as well!
I am not sick, I am not sick, I am not sick
Well, it's over
All I remember after that was meeting the anesthesiologist and being wheeled to the room. I woke up groggy but feeling great. After at my boyfriends house we took a short nap then he made me some chili and gave me a mango juice.
This is where the yuck happens - I took my muscle relaxers, and 30 min after my pain meds ... then I started feeling excruciating pain and threw up. Ugh. It was awful. I am not good with pain meds and I prob should have taken half the dose (and eaten something more mild) I felt like I looked like I needed an excorcism after that - my poor bf was freaking out calling his pharmacist friend and trying to help me bc the pain was unbearable. Not trying to scare anyone, I think it was just a combo of the pain meds and the effort my body had to undergo to puke. I took 3 ibuprofen and I feel just fine now! Gonna drink some tea and watch TV.
Oh! I got a peek earlier and they look perfecto, my ps puts his patients in a Victorias Secret lace bra after - and they kinda look pretty?! My boyfriend said he got a little "excited" unexpectedly at the glance - which was cute, haha (sorry if that is TMI)!
I will take some pictures tmrw, after my appt. I'm excited to ask what my ccs were!
Good thoughts going out to all you ladies going in tmrw, and to all those recovering! :)
Hey there! Meet ma' boobs.
I'm adding a photo, warning you that they look a bit frankenboob from being wrapped and hidden. Also, I feel like my nipples look HUGE. I hope they get a little closer to what they were before! My whole upper torso is just bloated, which I was told is normal as well - but doesn't look so great at the moment :(
I'm here, really!
I made a major butt groove in the couch. My bf and I watched something like 3 movies and endless episodes of a show he loves called Hell on Wheels (which was really good). He fed me, helped me change my dressings after showering and get dressed, brought me ice packs and drinks and basically pampered me the whole day ... so I was no where near ready to complain!
I do have a slight confession though - after this day of restful bliss he was helping me by massaging my back and feet, and we got a little frisky. I had a moment of weakness, and the whatever-weeks-without-sex rule was broken. The only thing I noticed was that my chest did feel a little tighter afterwards, but after laying down with some ice I was just fine. He then spent an hour googling what can go wrong if you have sex too soon, and apologizing! My very non-professional opinion is, that if it feels ok to you and your body, then you will be fine.
Woke up and the boobs felt WAY softer, and only a little sore around the incision. If I haven't said so previously, I have regained all feeling in my nipples and the numbness seems to move around - currently it's sitting right above my incision. When I took a shower, all I could think was "Whoa. These suckers are BIG!" I do really like the size though, I think had I gone with 250, I'd have wanted the extra 50 after all.
They seem to get tight and then loosen throughout the day. Does anyone else get that? It makes me wonder if I'm moving too much or something. I have some pretty large bruises under my breasts and also my underarms. I think these hurt more than anywhere else!
Oh - boo. Forgot to mention the bloating again. It felt like it had gotten worse today, but I finally had a BM and it feels better. I know, gross. My PS kept saying, "I promise I didn't put an extra implant in there!" because it looked like I was pregnant. I guess that some women have more of a tendency to bloat than others? Because most of you look completely normal!
ANYWAY, love and joy for all boobies, old and new! I can't wait to see how the rest of you are doing :)
Oh, Forgot to mention ...
Yesterday, made it through!
I ended up wearing a long sleeve tight-ish shirt and very loose sweater over it. No one even blinked. I think my beacoup padded bras paved the way for a very simple transition. Phew. We shall see what happens when I start wearing less layers, hopefully no one remembers what I
looked like before by then!
Still had morning boob yesterday morning, took a few ibuprofen in the and forgot I even had new boobs for most of the day (it was so busy!). When I got home I did notice they seemed a bit tight so I iced them a little and tried to relax some. I'm not sure you can see it in the pictures but under my chest, right in the middle and along my ribs - I'm slightly bruised. My PS said that the bruising may move, and that is really the only area that is sore except for the incisions. I have full range of motion and even though I probably shouldn't have, I carried a bunch of bags in from the car last night with no problem. I have had full kid duty the last two days as well, and all has been pretty simple with that too. My daughter, 7, loooooves to run up and jump into my arms ... so that has been fun! I just tell her my arms are really sore from yoga and she seemed to buy that ;)
I definitely recommend massaging as much as possible. That seems to be the key to it all. They feel so much better if you keep it up. It's a tad weird to be touching my boobs at my desk, but luckily I don't have anyone else in my office! Awkward.
I'm still a bit freaked out by my nipples. If you can see in my before pics, they seemed so small and now I just feel big! I wonder if any of you have dealt with this nipple obsession? Haha!
I've been putting a little coconut oil on them since yesterday and that has helped the slight itchy feeling.
Anyway, I will try to post again this evening with any new news on the twins!
Happy healing to all :)
Bad Boob Day
I woke up with morning boob again, like the day before but noticed my right boob has become WAY less tight - however ol' lefty is tighter and looked bigger (yikes!). Buuuut, my right incision looks pretty bad. I've developed what seems like a tiny rash and it really hurts right on the end where it's tied off, if that makes sense. I'm not too worried about the rash, it may just be from my skin being sensitive and reacting to the bra. However, by end of day both incisions were super itchy! I had to put ice on them just to avoid going to town with a fork. Seriously.
Not only that, but I tried to get some pictures and nearly cried. I just feel like they look gross right now. My bruising is moving down and now it appears as though I've been in a boob war or something. *sigh*
Can any of you tell me if you were still numb at this point anywhere (Day 6)? I am completely numb above my incisions, under my boobs, and that area is that incredibly gross yellowish bruise color.
Anyhoo, I feel much better today about everything. There was a little drama yesterday when I found out that someone I confided in about the surgery basically told a bunch of people (I wanted it kept under wraps) and I was upset. Not really bc I want no one to know or anything, I just don't like feeling like people are talking/thinking about it as I walk into a room, ya know? I have added a few shirt pics for anyone who will want to kinda lay low at work like I have. I still think no one has noticed!
I have been massaging many times a day and I still think it's helping a ton. I'm very happy with the size, but ready for them to appear more a part of my body. They kinda still look torpedo-ish, but then again I'm not used to seeing boobs on me! ;)
I hope you are all doing well, I have SO loved seeing everyone's progress and hearing from you :)
P.S. Please excuse my wet hair and no pants, haha (I was getting ready for work) - and I did remember to put pants on before leaving!
Aaaaah! Cheap Adorable Bras!
And under "Bralettes" I found the soft bras my PS recommends. Yay!
One Week Post Op
He did mention that I can go ahead and put whatever moisturizer I'd like on the area, because it should be completely sealed and that I can press on and massage the area to help them flatten out. I was kinda worried about rubbing anything in/near the incisions. I have been pressing on them today and they do actually feel better.
As with the last few days, the boobies feel softer today. They are feeling like more of a part of me as well. I can sleep really comfortably now and not worry about any pain.
Oh! I've noticed a TON of you talk about feeling sharp pains and not that I really want to feel that - but I haven't and now I'm wondering if I'm not regaining some feeling? I just wondered if anyone else didn't ever get the sharp pains?
Hoping everyone is happy in boobyland out there :)
I ventured to Walgreens and bought some silicone scar treatment strips. The doctor said to wear them 8 hours at a time for three months to reduce my incision scars. I know this is pretty common from reading other reviews. I like them - they act like a barrier and already (since Saturday) I've noticed improvement. I will try to take a few pictures later this evening!
I'm being really bold at work today and wearing one of my pre-BA tight long sleeve shirts. Yikes. Aaannnnd, I have some boob jiggling - WooHoo!
Pictures (11 Days)
I am going to try to push those thoughts aside, and keep telling myself that they will continue to change so I can't make any real judgements yet. Mostly, I am soooo happy to have them and every day they are feeling better, moving more and I feel like they are becoming a "part" of me.
On a gross note: I took my Scar Away strips off today and with them came some crusty stuff (Blech) - actually my left incision looks a little raw in one spot so I'm leaving them off for now so a new scab can form there. :(
Really need to take more pictures tomorrow, I think I may have a mondors cord starting :( I've read that they are not really a big concern, but I noticed it when I lifted my left arm quickly today and there was a sudden tightness.
It is getting increasingly harder to remember to do the massages - I need to come up with a creative way to remember to do them. Siri?! It seems as though my breast skin and nipples are very sensitive and irritable all of a sudden. I have been moisturizing with coconut oil (my norm) and hoping that does the trick because it is really uncomfortable. If any of you have a soothing tip, please share!
Missing Messages and Comments
Another weekend, over.
I have been wanting to get measured, to see what my proper bra size is, because I'm so confused and I don't think I'm fitting correctly in my post op bra. I tried three different online methods and three different bra size calculators and they are all telling me something different. I don't think I understand the way the sizing works really, but I tried on a 34B at Target yesterday and it fit pretty well ... but I feel like my 32C bras are not covering enough (I see the top of my nipples). One calculator said 30F, one 34D and another 34B. Seriously?! The thought of going from a 32A to just a 34B kinda had me sad if I'm being honest :( Even though I said from the beginning I didn't want to be too big! Maybe its that boobie greed I hear about?
I suppose it doesn't matter what my bra size is - what matters is the fact that my boobs look SO. MUCH. BETTER. (Duh!)
To all of you who are hiding the BA at work:
Last night, my boyfriend took me to my favorite restaurant and I wore a push up bra ( I know, I know, that was probably not smart) for the hour and a half we were there ... and guess who showed up?!? My bosses and their wives. Sheesh. I am sooooo glad I went with the pants and long sleeve blouse because I ALMOST wore something much more sexified - lets just say, the girls woulda been peeking out big time. On a happier note, I had a really amazing time trying on clothes for Thanksgiving today at the mall. I didn't go crazy, but I did buy a sheer button up shirt that will show just a bit of classy cleavage ;)
I am adding some pictures from today. I'm not sure they look much different!? My incisions do not itch anymore and luckily the skin has really settled down around them, because it was pretty angry for a while. My nipples are very sensitive to anything touching them. Even when I'm putting lotion on or in the shower it's uncomfortable. I'm not doing well with the massages still, but they are still getting softer day to day. If I'm more active, they feel tighter. I'm wondering if anyone who got high profile implants felt like their breasts looked kinda like a ball in the pocket? I don't like that look so I am hoping to avoid it any way I can! Also - posting a pic of my favorite Target bralette - I got a few more this week because they were $4.36! Size, Med.
Love and boob-joy to everyone!
My bra, a 32C actually left red marks on me today. I'm thinkin' that's no bueno. Tomorrow I will wear my 34C and see what happens.
Not to be gross, but while pressing my incisions today I felt a few little pops. I hope that means I'm doing something right. I think someone has mentioned this phenomena on a review here so I am not worrying.
I guess I might be really weird in this, but I still haven not mentioned the surgery to my parents. I kept it from everyone at work, simply because I work in a pretty uptight, serious environment. Seeing my parents on Thanksgiving has me a tad nervous because they KNOW what I looked like before and I'm sure it won't be long before one of them, probably my dad (he holds nothing back), will say something. What to do?! I'm just worried they may think it was a dumb decision/waste of money/plain unnecessary. Here I am, at 32, still worried about what my parents may think. Geez.
Goodnight Boob Girls! :)
Thanksgiving is over!
I made it. No big deal! I wore a dark (but tight) sweater and I don't think anyone even did a double take. Probably would have if I wore a push up bra, but otherwise, I just look like I did with a padded bra on before.
Have been on a bit of a downturn lately. I have just been really thinking I should have gone bigger the last few days. I hate that, because I know it is silly. I go back and forth. I need to just keep looking at my before pic and remembering how different I look. Have any of you done this to yourself? It is especially weird because I was so adamant against being big. What?!? However, I guess I have really just been down in general - happens every time the weather changes. I HATE cold, y'all. Plus, in Missouri it is just straight gray for 6 months. EVERY DAY. I want sun shine!
I have been experiencing the little pop/bursts still, almost every day I press my incisions. Yesterday, I did it and felt a little tingling sensation afterwards. Thoughts? Also, I noticed that the little black ends of the dissolvable stitches are sticking out of my skin still. Hm. I have my ONE MONTH post op on Friday - yay!!
Hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving, in the states, at least. Happy Black Friday (even though I will be staying in on purpose today)!
So stinkin' happy.
Anyway, pushing that aside, because I woke up so very happy with my boobs today. I was just thinking about all the angst I felt all the time about them before. How I never wanted my boyfriend to see them and I would turn away all the time while I changed...thinking if he saw them he'd think I was the most repulsive girl on the planet (so not true, but definitely how I felt). I didn't dislike my chest, I HATED and DESPISED it. Heck, I even recall getting all weird when girls with nice boobs would show up on TV because I'd be reminded instantly that I was not one of them.
When you have children, it is truly an amazing experience and I wouldn't take it back for anything. The stretch marks and sagging boobs were definitely worth my beautiful babies. However, it does take such a toll on your body, and I may be in the minority, but I think we tend to feel less than beautiful afterwards. Before a couple years ago, I was married to a man who called out my imperfections quite a bit (thank goodness I'm rid of that!) but I recall him telling me right before I went to a lawyer to divorce him, "You will never find a man who will find you attractive - your boobs are disgusting, haha, they look like salted slugs!" - this is kinda comical to me now because the visual is rather creative, but it killed my self esteem. I not only let that sink in, I held onto it and believed it for sooooo long.
It took me a long time to decide to get the BA. I had more than enough money in savings, but as a single mom, I wasn't sure it was the right decision. I am so very glad I did it, now. As I was just sitting watching TV with my bf last night, I realized what an amazing man he is and how he'd truly love me no matter what. Since my BA, I do not turn away from him - I feel sexy, and much more confident. They are JUST boobs, I know, but they did a tiny little miracle in me. Of course, I'm also blessed to have two healthy, smart, incredible kids and to have a job that supports us (a job I also love doing), a great family, and tons more to experience in my lifetime.
Really, I'm sorry to wax poetic! But I thought maybe, just maybe, my happy thoughts needed to be shared. I hope all of you are waking up with happy boob thoughts too! :)
I got nothin' but love for ya' all.
Sooooo, in booby news, all is going pretty well. My right feels better, but I still have a little lump that hurts when I touch it. I don't think its anything serious, so I haven't thought about it much unless I'm massaging the area. Hopefully my PS can shed some light on it tomorrow!
I'm still wanting to get officially measured soon, but I think I have settled on a 34C as a good bra size. I tried on a 34D, which several bra size calculators gave me and although they fit the cup, it was a tad too wide. I also tried a 32D, and the cup was still a little tight. I'd love a good explanation on how all that calculates, if anyone has a great resource! I know bras have "sister sizes" etc, but curious what interval they jump up each size in cup with a bigger band. If anyone cares to know, my measurements are:
Band (under breasts), 28
Band (above breasts), 31
I'm adding some pics, you can really see that righty is looking different at the moment!
I also had the chance to show one of my closest of friends the results and she was very excited for me, which made me happy because she was against it at first.
I hope all you lovely ladies are doing well and staying warm (so jealous of you island chicks!).
Ahhh, I'm a prisoner of Christmas!
In boobie area this week, I am feeling pretty darn good. The girls seem pretty hard and tight still, but I'm continuing to massage - and the distressed lymph node has decreased to almost nothing and I have no pain. Yippie! Posting a few pics (excuse my messy bedroom, I was organizing!).
But bras... drumroll pleeeaaase!
I FINALLY went and got measured. I ended up at Victoria's Secret, and at first she told me I was a 34C. After trying a few on, it was clear the band was just too big. So, the next one to try was the 32D, which was a perfect fit. I bought two, because they just felt awesome, and of course there were a trillion sales going on.
As part of a promotion my PS was doing, I am going in for a skin consult/work up and botox (for free) on Monday. I have heard that botox is extremely addictive so I am a little scared. Does any one have any experience with it that I should be afraid of?
Hugs to all recovering - I'm excited to peek at everyones progress!
Back from Xmas!
Not much to report on the boob front, my scars are looking really red ... so I took the scar strips off today to just make sure they aren't getting irritated. Both feel somewhat hard still, but I'm getting some major jiggle from them. I mean, they move like real boobs!! I'm waiting on just a small patch of skin under them to wake up some more - it's still pretty numb.
I'm actually typing this as the bf gets a tattoo so I'm going to keep it short! I hope all you lovely ladies are doing well.
Man O Man
First, I am sorry for my lapse in appearances here - we have just been sick, busy and getting our groove back over here.
I can NOT wear my 32C bras anymore. They have all of a sudden become super small in the cup - and nipples are escaping. Not only that, but this morning I noticed after wearing my bra for a while that I had a slight sting. I discovered a little hole/scrape/something right on my incision site under my lefty. So, immediately, I changed to a bralette and put a little bandage over it. I'll check it out again later. I knew I was not truly a C cup, but I thought I could still wear the bras. Not happening now.
This is all happening after my incisions became red two weeks ago. So odd. Has anyone experienced this?
Phew. I just received some new bras in the mail (thank you Aerie clearance sale!) that are 32D and they feel fantastic. I now have the task of selling my 32C bras on eBay...
My incision hole still stings, but appears to be healing up fine. If it doesn't progress over the weekend I'm calling the doctor on Monday.
I am really loving my breasts, which is so weird to say! They are getting softer still, and I believe they are pretty much dropped and fluffed. It is so hard to remember to massage them these days - I try to do it while I drive or at my desk, haha!
The only thing I don't love about the implants is when I can feel the slight ripple in my cleavage, or when I catch a glimpse of a ripple on the side. Hopefully that has mostly to do with the lack of breast tissue - plus I've lost weight which doesn't help! I'm sure they are both things only I would really think about, anyway.
I am posting some pics, 3 months in now ... Excuse the poor lighting, I just don't get home until after dark and have a tough time finding a great spot to take pics.
Hugs to all :)
I had an awesome experience with Dr. Rottler and his amazing staff. From my first consultation, I knew right away I wanted him to do my breast augmentation and I couldn't be happier now that I'm on the other side!