"Mild" Tuberous ("Tubular") Breast Deformity; I HATE my Breasts, I Just Want to Feel NORMAL. What Should I Do? :( Sacramento, CA
I've been thinking about breast surgery since I...
On a side-note, although I am a virgin by choice, I can guarantee you I will remain so until/unless I get my breasts fixed somehow. I'm in a serious relationship and if/when we get married I don't want to be sexually inhibited. I know he loves me either way, but I am SO self-conscious of my breasts :( I can hardly look at them in the mirror myself.
A little back story... At 14 I hoped I might "fill out" so I didn't hate my breasts like I do now. I started menstruating when I was 11, so I knew by age 18 that my breasts probably were finished with all pubescent efforts. That's when the loathing and shame really began.
My breasts are about a full 34A/small 34B and cone-shaped with mild snoopy's-nose; my areola is disproportionately large for my breasts (I feel more like I have large areolas rather than true breasts); their is mild asymmetry in size, shape, and position between my breasts/nipples. I think I would want to be about a 34C, but maybe a full 34B.
I never felt my breasts looked "normal" but I decided to wait until I was 18 before making any "calls". Of course by this point they still looked so abnormal, and this is when my research really began, and I learned about this thing called "tuberous breast deformity". Even though my case would be considered "mild" compared to lots I've seen, it's not so "mild" in my self-perception... Essentially I've been researching surgery and saving money for the last 4 years.
Tuberous breasts are typically small; all the other women in my family have at least a cup size on me. Although the size of my breasts does make me self-conscious to some degree (I wear two push-up bras, at the same time, every day to appear as a full 34B and to conceal the cone shape of my breasts), the shape/proportions are what make me mortified by them. In other words, I think small breasts can be beautiful but I don't want tuberous-looking breasts.
My mom insisted I start by seeing the doctor to make sure nothing "medical" was wrong; my OB/GYN asked what "happened" to me ("nothing"), and the breast-specialist basically used medical jargon to say I have unfortunate-looking breasts. I now had mom's blessing to pursue seeing plastic surgeons.
I have some consults coming up. Choosing the right surgeon is important to me and I've done a lot of research, but deciding on the right procedure is harder.
I believe, cosmetically speaking, I could benefit from EITHER an areola-reduction/breast-lift type procedure OR silicone breast implants via crease/under-breast incision. My case is not severe enough to warrant both together, although that is often how tuberous breasts are treated. Each procedure by itself would change the shape/proportion issue. No cone breasts!!
Here are my CONS:
I do intend to have children in the future. Will this affect my ability to breastfeed? Will there be MORE asymmetry than before surgery (It happens)? What if I don't scar well? Will being pregnant/breastfeeding cause unsightly stretching of the scars? What would being pregnant/breastfeeding do to my surgically altered breasts (that wouldn't happen to natural breasts)? Does this surgery have a greater risk of loss of sensation in the breast and nipples than the augmentation?
I am almost certain I would hate how it feels to have dual-plane/unders, and although I'm fit I'm not skinny, so I'm really leaning towards subglandular/overs; if I got any kind of implant it would definitely be silicone. But heck I might hate how it feels to have implants at all. They might always feel foreign in my body (see: Breast Implant Removal reviews on RealSelf). If I decide I want them removed later, my breasts will probably be worse looking than they are now. If I decide I want them removed this could also affect breast/nipple sensation. If I developed capsular contracture, this risk would be even greater since the capsule would definitely have to be removed too. Even if I am one of the lucky ones that can keep my implants for decades, do they age well, cosmetically speaking? Do breasts with implants age similarly to natural breasts? Anyone have pictures of breasts with implants 5-10 years post-op? Is it worth paying for regular ultrasounds/MRIs with silicone implants? Can you substitute ultrasounds instead of MRIs? Are my implants more likely to feel to me like "me" if they're relatively small? If I were to get my implants removed at a later time, would my breasts look better after if I had had a relatively small implant? I know implants aren't lifetime devices, but under what circumstances would you need a re-op? Like if you found a quality surgeon and you had satisfactory results, no contracture, no bottoming-out, comfortable size, no rupture, then why would you want to re-op? When surgeons say implants aren't lifetime devices, do they just mean that by getting breast augmentation you aren't going to have eternally perfect perky breasts and to maintain the appearance you will need surgery periodically?
I guess my dream is to look and feel normal. For a 22 year old, NORMAL means relatively perky beautiful breasts. If by 40 my breasts (hypothetically with implants) were sagging a bit, it wouldn't bother me so much if they were sagging in a NORMAL kind of way. Like I'm a NORMAL 40 year old who had babies and nursed them and now my boobies are kinda saggy. Seeing a trend here?
I'm not looking to have breasts that maintain a Carmen Electra appearance indefinitely and eternally. I want breasts that are proportionate to my curvy frame, that look and feel NORMAL to me.
I would accept any insight here, especially from women that have had their implants for at LEAST 5 years. From women who have had tuberous breast correction surgery. From women who have had their implants removed. From women who have had a breast lift. From women who have been pregnant/breastfed AFTER having implants and/or a lift. From surgeons. Anybody really lol.
I'm hoping to schedule my surgery in February or March, but I feel so overwhelmed about making these choices :( I know they will have permanent consequences for good or bad...
Sorry for the previous emotional vomit :\ Decisions, decisions...
I'll try to give the short version.
I'm going to be recovering in Modesto with some friends so I am seeing doctors between here and there for starts.
I saw Dr. Mabourakh. I was excited because of his great online reputation. I was disappointed though; he was polite and professional but I did not feel listened to (I repeated myself a lot) or informed, or really even cared for. He seemed confident in his ability to give me what I want, but he didn't convince ME. Overall, it felt like I was on a boob-job assembly line. I came in, told him what I was interested in, did a physical exam, and tried on sizers rather briefly. Although the appointment was 1.5-2 hours it felt rushed. I'm not following through with him but I would not dissuade anyone else from consulting him because of his great reputation.
Note: Dr. M does not believe I have truly tuberous breasts but underdeveloped breasts. He recommended doing a crescent lift on one side to correct asymmetry.
I had another appointment with Dr. Wu. To be brief, completely opposite experience from Dr. M. I truly felt that she cares for her patients. She was conversational, warm even, but still professional. She even got maternal with me for a minute, telling me that I don't "have to" do this, I can live a happy and healthy life without it, and to be sure it was what I wanted. She talked with me in detail about my goals, my options, different risks of different options. Then I had a physical exam wherein she recorded like twenty different measurements of my boobs. Then we talked some more. I was late for my appointment because I read my calendar wrong, but they were so gracious about it. Since I didn't have a full-length appointment, I'll be going back for another shorter one to try on sizers.
Note: Dr. Wu doesn't think I have tuberous breasts. She wants to do a small lift on one side with a lollipop scar (vertical scar would be less than 2 centimeters).
Lastly, I had an appointment with one of Dr. Payne's office ladies. It would probably be more beneficial to someone who is just beginning to research because, honestly, I didn't learn much. I should've just booked a consult with the doctor. I had my photos taken, which were showed to the doctor. He recommends just an augmentation but wants to lower my fold slightly. He doesn't think my amount of asymmetry is "worth" the scars to try to correct it.
Because I haven't seen him in person yet, he hasn't stated whether or not he thinks there is anything wrong with my breasts.
Something the girl from his office said is sticking with me: I might find that after the augmentation I am okay with the amount of asymmetry, but if not, I could always go back for the lift on one side. However, I can't undo those scars.
So many decisions. I'm going back and forth about overs vs unders (the implant distortion from flexing really bothers me). To lift or not to lift? Lowering the fold... double bubble?
Lots and lots of thinking!!
Question to those who had implants before having kids.
I don't want big boobs; I've been told a few times now that I'm not a "typical" patient in that way. I just want better proportion. I think a C cup is a good size because it can be played up with a push-up or played down with a sports bra. I know a lot of people desire to abandon push-up bras by getting implants, but I like the flexibility of being able to "take off" some volume at the end of the day. If we're honest, small-breasted women know the smaller your boobs are the more PHYSICALLY comfortable you are (That said, many feel the benefits of large breasts are worth the trade-off).
But I run, and I don't want my boobies to knock me unconscious. The biggest adjustment for me will be running with bigger boobs; I already wear a $50 "high impact" sports bra to work out and I'm only a 34A/34B. But I know I'll just have to give it time to get used to it.
I'm pretty sure at this point I'm not doing the lift; I don't think it'd be worth it. I can always do it later if I change my mind. I'm still weighing the fold-lowering suggestion.
Overs or unders... I'm advised that overs look much more fake. However, from looking at bunches of photos, I feel like the biggest factor to a person looking "fake" is the profile of the implant. In my opinion, the higher profile implants are more likely to look fake, even in the dual-plane position.
I want a natural look like most people, but I think I can achieve that with overs in the right profile/position. Honestly, I'm not concerned about "palpability" as much and neither is my boyfriend (No... seriously, he doesn't care).