I've never had a flat belly, and my breasts, it...
I've never had a flat belly, and my breasts, it turns out (I didn't know until my consultation) are malformed! Somehow I still managed to find a great guy, get married, and have a gorgeous little girl (she's two and a half).
After staying home with my baby girl for two years, I went back to work at the same place I worked before she was born, and boy, I was surprised! The last time I worked, before my pregnancy, I had been cute and young, and now, I was like some pudgy matriarch in a sea of all the younger, cuter girls who had been hired after me! My self-esteem took a hit.
My pregnancy, fueled by Milky Way Simply Caramel bars, left me with a bit of fat, which I've managed to work off by proving to myself once and for all that I am perpetually out of shape and hate exercising all of the time (but I still do it). I have a bad belly "flap," have to cut the waistbands of ALL of my pants and skirts (everything about me is the same size I was before except for my waist), and my breasts, well... swing low, sweet chariot.
I've always known that one day, I'd have "work" done. I love myself and I don't believe looks are everything, but I want to have a body I and my husband can enjoy!
So I have a nice little Mommy Makeover surgery planned for February 18th. I'm getting a full tummy tuck and breast lift with saline implants. Now I just need time off from work to recover.... I love, love, love my job but I hope I can get the time off to take care of myself!
I'm loving the reviews I'm reading here, and I hope to be welcomed into this little family of sorts :) I'm looking forward to learning from all of you and sharing my version of "The Flat Side!"
Days Off Approved!
Got my days off approved- a little over a week and a half in late February to recover, with light duty for as long as the Dr. says I need it. Now, the waiting game!
Happy Thanksgiving, my fellow Mommy Makeover folks!
Before pics :)
I'm five feet tall and weigh 146 lbs currently (darn you, Cinnabon)! I am on Weight Watchers now to lose a few pounds the healthy way before the surgery. I'll post more when I've lost 10 lbs. I can't wait until I'm posting my "after" pics!
The Things Men Think About...
My hubby just asked me what would happen to my implants without medical attention, "like if there's a zombie apocalypse." His mouth was full of cereal when he said it. I didn't reply.
I have countdowns on my phone. Oh, the madness...
Here's What I Think About That...
I'm a hyper-planner and I have a tendency to be a bit obsessive. I've been looking at all of the posts from the ladies here on the Mommy Makeover reviews. I've seen more naked breasts than any teenage boy could ever dream of!
I took a good look at myself in the mirror, too, all stripped down and taking my "before" pics in my in-laws' bathroom during the holidays, like any real class-act would do.
I rolled my eyes a little looking at the tiny tattoo on my breast, remembering how positively rebellious I felt, getting that tattoo in the one place I knew my parents wouldn't see, even in a bathing suit! That was back when I was 18 and I knew everything.
I took another good look at my breasts and remembered the way it felt to look down at my little baby girl, nursing. We'd be cuddled up on the couch. Man, the way she'd fall asleep on the nursing pillow- she is the most peaceful, beautiful thing I've ever seen, or ever will see. That was when I was 28 and I realized that I know nothing.
I remembered looking down at my massive pregnancy bump a couple of years ago (let's be honest and call it a pregnancy mountain- I was asked more than once if twins run in my family). When my baby girl moved in there, it was like the rolling waves of the ocean, a great secret inside of me I couldn't wait to discover...
I want to make one thing very clear- I love my body. I love the health it has blessed me with. I love the experiences it has brought me. I love the life it created and nourished.
I love my body and it is beautiful. I kid around, but I've never doubted it. And all of you are beautiful, too. All I see when I look at our pictures are beautiful bodies- both before and after the surgeries, even scarred-up and with those lovely drains I'm sure my husband just can't wait to help me out with.
I just don't know what to say, we're hot before, we're hot after- we just can't lose! Some of us are here after having created real-life human beings capable of love and trust and hope with these bodies! Others have battled for self-control and fitness, undergoing incredible struggles and reaching amazing weight-loss goals.
Some people say that people getting plastic surgery just have low self-esteem. They say "changing the way you look won't fix the real problem." I don't think of this mommy makeover as "fixing" me, just enhancing my body. "Fixing" is for broken things, and I don't know about you, but I'm not broken.
This procedure is about bringing back my youth for a little while, because I'm not ready to lose it yet. I know it won't stop time- one day I'll be a wrinkly, saggy, ancient little woman in a rocking chair. We all will be, thiugh we may have different rocking chair designs since we all live pretty far away from each other and probably won't buy them together or at the same store.
But we'll still be beautiful! I know it!
Lost my first friend over this today!
Sigh. Lost a friend because she doesn't believe in plastic surgery. Listened to a lecture on my selfishness, vanity, and low-self esteem, said "Good-bye, Good Buddy" in my mind, and I continue to move on.
For those of you bookworms stuck in the waiting game like me, here are some books I've read over the past couple of weeks that detail Mommy Makeover surgery. I downloaded them all from Amazon for my Kindle and they were very reasonably-priced :)
1. Body Sculpture by Alan M Engler, MD. This book explains breast lift, augmentation, and reduction, along with tummy tuck and lipo. It's a bit dry, doctor-style, but informative. There are several before and after pictures at the end of the book that come with explanations of the techniques used in each surgery.
2. Men are Stupid...And They Like Big Boobs, by Joan Rivers. Who better to write a hilarious book about her personal experiences with plastic surgery than Joan? I laughed like crazy. Also, the book was well-researched, documenting the history of each procedure.
3. Emily's Mommy Makeover, by Emily McBee. This is a quick read, and is a compilation of posts from the popular Mommy Blogger. I really liked her writing style and her honest approach. She was so dedicated to the work that she asked her husband to update her blog while she was in surgery!
Does anyone else know of any other good books to read while I wait?
Tick, tock, tick, tock....
70 days... Anyone have any suggestions for little things I can do to prepare?
Two more months!
Exactly two more months until my surgery date! Boob-uary is right around the corner!!!!!!
I asked this on the forum as well, but how many of you ladies used a cane or walker during recovery? Is it necessary/helpful? I think deep down I just want a cane :(
All I want for Christmas is my two....
boobies back where they belong!
Happy Holidays, everyone!
I am so afraid
I joke around a lot. I have never been able to get by on smarts, talent, or looks, so I chose being funny and kind. I was jumping up and down for the chance for my outward appearance to match the way I feel inside.
On one hand, all of these news stories recently, bringing light to the dangers of even the most routine surgeries and the waning usefulness of antibiotics are freaking me out. As I get closer to my surgery, I become more and more afraid. Sometimes I look at my daughter and I see her growing up. I see time slipping by. I ask myself how am I being grateful for my life by purposefully endangering it? I'm not ready to lose my youth, but I'm not ready to miss my daughter's youth, either.
On the other hand, I know there is a very, very slim chance of anything going wrong. My surgeon is a careful man. Every time he does this kind of surgery, he puts his reputation on the line. I know that if I follow his instructions, things will be fine.
Seeing all of your posts, your beautiful results- at first I was giddy and like "OMG I want to look hot like that!" After this bout with fear, I realize that all of your posts are testaments to your courage. I even know that all of you have felt exactly the way I do now. And you still did it! And everything was fine!
In the end, I want to be proud of my body. I want my husband to be proud to be with me.
But then again, I keep thinking back- I visited my little girl's preschool before winter break. She held my hand and told her whole group "This is MY mommy!"
She's already proud of me, and she's already proud to be with me.
And I haven't had to do a thing to earn that.
Blast from the Past!
Yesterday I went bargain-hunting with some friends. We were at a Goodwill, and I found a strappy little summer dress I donated two years ago that was too tight in the stomach area! I wore it on my second date with the guy who would become my husband!
I bought it back because I KNOW I'll be able to wear it and look good in it by this summer. :) I'm over my fears for now, and I'm so grateful for the opportunity to have this surgery :)
The old me
Age 27, five feet tall 98 lbs
I'm currently reading "The Rapid Recovery Handbook: Your Complete Guide to Faster Healing After Surgery." The book focuses on meditation and nutrition as a means to speed recovery. I'll post facts I glean from the book from time to time as my wait continues!
How's everyone doing? I have pinkeye. Yep! You heard me right! Pinkeye. My daughter's preschool is a cesspool.
Thank you to all of the kind, non-judgmental folks here on real self. Those of you with kind, positive attitudes are what make this a wonderful support group for such a momentous change and road to recovery.
Sometimes I run across a post that is insensitive and rude. It is then that I am most grateful for those of you who are positive cheerleaders for the rest of us.
Oh! I never did mention- I lost those 10 pounds I wanted to lose before the surgery and I'm still losing from exercising (as much as possible with a busy life, work, a long commute and a two-year-old- it's about 15 mins at work and 30 mins at home once the kiddo is in bed with an hour walk on Sunday). I also cut back on processed foods and don't eat fast foods! It's been a challenge! Making the date to have the surgery definitely helped my willpower :) I'll pictures once I actually buy a full-length mirror, which I'm super-psyched about now that two years of hard work has paid off! That's 61 pounds lost since I had my little one. I know I'll never be 98lbs again, and I'm cool with that :)
Meant to say "I'll post pictures." Oops!
Me after weight loss
Here's a pic- cant wait to get the extra skin off so I have a waist :) I was born with muscle separation so this'll be the first time I ever had a flat belly! I have a long scar up the middle of my stomach from a botched c-section (reason I can't have more kiddos). Anyway, this is me :)
One month :)
One more month! I'm excited :)
I'm pretty used to cold temperatures where I live, but the weather forecast predicts sub-zero temps this week :(
I hope implants don't freeze! Lol!
It's getting so close! I'd better go breathe into a paper bag for a little bit and try to calm the f*€k down!
Updated before pic
11 pounds lighter. That saggy skin is something else!
3 weeks from now I'll be home after my surgery. I stopped using birth control at the beginning of the month since my PS said not to be taking it close to surgery. Now I'm on my period and I've forgotten how brutal a non-birth control period is! Oh, the cramping :( Things are getting so real now; I've gotten the "Hey, don't forget to pay us first!" e-mails from the anesthesiologist and the surgeon's office. This countdown is dwindling. The flat side is right here, close enough to touch. My only issue is that right now, when I have a glass of wine I can kind of rest it on my weird belly skin while I watch the news at night. Where will I rest my wine now?
OMG IT'S BOOB-UARY!!!
It's here! Boob-uary has arrived! 18 more days! I don't know what to do with myself!!
Two more weeks!
Paid the surgeon and anesthesiologist... My hubby said the billing lady laughed at him when she asked him what procedure I was having done. He said "Ummmm... I think it's called a Mommy Makeover???"
Ten more days. I experimented with various pillow formations to make sure I had enough to be propped up comfortably. I found a cheap bikini on Amazon and ordered that sucker with glee ;)
Looked through my box of stuff I got together for recovery: a few zip-up hoodie/pants sets, button-down PJs, compression garment, sports bras, slippers for padding around the house in, various supplements and raw green powder, scar-diminishing sheets, etc... Tried on a few of the clothing items and put things away.
With eight days left until my surgery, I played with my little girl today- had a tickle war, ran around like crazy, rolled around on the floor, and picked her up every time she asked me to, since I won't be able to do those things while I'm recovering from the mommy makeover surgery.
Cleaning house, organizing closets/cabinets/fridge and freezer, plus making a list of stuff to get at the grocery store after making a menu of easy meals for my hubby to fix while I am otherwise incapacitated.
Major snowstorm going through Virginia on Wednesday and Thursday... Hoping it won't affect my surgery schedule for the following Tuesday :(
So VA is having a historic storm and I realize that even if the snow has melted by the 18th, downed power lines and the aftermath if the storm will most likely result in my surgery being cancelled :(
It will be months before I can get time off like this again :( I'm so disappointed... Another summer of wearing a tee shirt to the beach. Another year of knowing my husband isn't really attracted to my body. I'm just so disappointed :(
Nice Try, Snow!
Looks like everything is still on! I feel silly getting so worked up. As I type this, the snow is melting away :) I'm going out to get a loose zip-front hoodie and sweatpants set to wear back on Tuesday, since my other ones are tighter and my only button-up shirts are white!
I can't believe the time has already come. I'm still dealing with jealousy from a friend of mine; she said she would take me to my follow-up appointment the cancelled, then actually told me she didn't want to be my friend anymore! I didn't think people did that much after third grade. She's thinner than me, and always said things like "oh no I'm 104 lbs now. I'm so disgusting," knowing full-well that I was weighing over 140 lbs... And she'd send me pictures of herself in stuff saying "look how tiny my waist is!" So I think it's that she feels like she wouldn't be the "pretty" one anymore. Very immature, if you ask me, but it does hurt my feelings.
In two short days I'll be "under the knife." Any suggestions from for how to keep cool 'til then?
Tomorrow is the Big Day
This time tomorrow I'll be waiting at the surgical center. I'm going to get a manicure and pedicure today to relax.
I had a freak-out last night and cried because I'm scared, and I feel like I'm being selfish. I'm afraid. So afraid :(
Trying to sleep.
Got my kiddo's lunches packed for the rest of the week for my hubby, and got all my food for the next few days set out, too. I ransacked the grocery store for husband-friendly foods and told my daughter's preschool that if he forgets her lunch to just charge a school lunch to us and not to worry about calling first (he's a professional work lunch-leaver so I didn't want to take any chances).
He's been so great through all of this. Just to step up like this, take time off, take care of our little girl, comfort me when I'm scared, and make boob jokes when he feels it is safe. I'm sure it's 99.9 percent out of love for me and the rest is to butter me up for assurance that he'll get to play with my new... assets when they're all healed. Maybe 90% love and ten percent buttering up; there's no way of telling ;)
I took my little girl to the grocery store with me today and a faster-paced song came on in the store and she said "Let's dance, Mommy!" and we did, just grabbed each others hands and danced like fools right next to the packets of instant gravy. She's awesome too.
Life is good. Time for new ta-tas.
Here I Go!
18 Feb 2014
Day of treatment
Off to the surgical center! I'll update tonight or tomorrow depending on how I'm feeling.
18 Feb 2014
Day of treatment
The pain is bad for me- a lot like labor pains. But I'm home now; made it through.
Whew! Better already!
18 Feb 2014
Day of treatment
Pain is subsiding already and I recently went potty like a big girl! I went to rest my hand on the top of my stomach and oops! It wasn't there anymore! Hubby's doing great helping me get around, handling my meds, and being great emotional support. He's so wonderful. I'm so lucky to have him. My kiddo has been very happy and says "mommy's boobs" over and over. We were totally honest with her about what I got done. I'm not sure how much she understands, but she knows Monmy's body is different and sore.
I have saline implants and I was surprised to hear one make a "squish" sound when I reached for something! It was crazy :) Every once in a while, it feels like my stomach muscles contract involuntarily, and that hurts just like a labor pain, but it's over quickly. I'm already tired of sitting up, and my chest feels tight and I can feel stretching. When I got up to go to the bathroom, I felt like I was lugging around 1,000 pounds. Getting in and out of bed is difficult and reminds me of how it felt for a week after my C-section.
Not one of my female "friends" checked on me today at all. My best friend, a guy, has checked in throughout the day with texts and a phone call. I think the stigma of plastic surgery is very strong with some ladies. I was getting tired of hearing comments like "must be nice" and "this isn't going to make your life any better." It makes me very mad when I think about it. Why are some women so incapable of growing out of the catty middle-school stage. Something tells me that my daughter and I won't be invited to many birthday parties for a while...
Not the best pics. I'm swollen. Had my first follow-up today and Doc says things are looking good. Next time I get good and naked I'll post those, too.
All of the pains
I am having:
1. Gas pains
2. Period cramps
3. Burning abdominal muscles
5. Constipation pain
6. Tight breast pain
7. Lower back pain
8. Neck pain (from sitting in the same position)
- it's all getting better by the hour though. Definitely still worth it.
Ok, if you don't like a good, in-depth description of gas (but who doesn't?), you may want to move on. I'm finally having some relief to my gas pain after Mommy Makeover surgery, but it's the most epic gas ever... it sounds like it's echoing in some cavern and its rumbling around in my SIDES for goodness' sake! My entire trunk is rumbling and making gross moaning noises in there. Please, please someone tell me I'm not the only one. It doesn't hurt it's just like there's something ALIVE in there! :(
Ugh. Headache now, but everything else is getting pretty darn good. I can stand up about 95% straight. I'm actually having a cup of coffee right now :) I'm posting pics later today :)
What I've Been Up To
My hubby set me up with every season of Desperate Housewives as a gift :) I love that show. I'm feeling great. Hubby made me a great chicken lunch with green beans. My stomach feels tight and my bra itches. I tire easily but I'm basically standing up straight now.
Here's a pic :)
Me :) When I'm healed, I'm going to lose just a few more pounds and tone up a bit. I blurred out a tattoo.
What I Miss...
As much as I love shuffling around like I'm ready for a retirement home, I miss my mobility. I miss being able to wake up in the morning and just have a good stretch. I miss walking into other rooms of my house and just sitting down like it's nothing. I miss sleeping comfortably on my side. :(
How long before it gets better?
I feel like my life has been transformed to simply surviving pain. I'm isolated from my family (my kid is too rambunctious and would accidentally hurt me by jumping on me). I have to stay in the bedroom or the office except for meals, when my toddler is in her high chair. I'm still basically immobile, still experiencing enough screaming pain clawing its way through my insides to still be whimpering for Percocet, and Im just... Down. How can I go through weeks and weeks more of pain, isolation, and immobility? How long can I be this burden? I wish I'd just stayed dumpy. That dumpy girl I used to be looked bad in a bathing suit and was overlooked by others, but at least she could get off of the toilet by herself :( at least she could put her little girl to bed :( the back pain is excruciating. The drains are hurting. I just know I'll be one of those who end up having drains in for months. The summer can't come soon enough. I know I'll be healed enough by summer.
I'm doing better today; thanks guys, for the positive encouragement. I forgot to be greatful for my opportunity, my life, my family, and my work. I also forgot to be kind to myself. Last night I lay very still, visualized my healing, and counted my blessings. Today I am walking straight, made breakfast, sat on the couch next to my baby girl and watched cartoons with her. Then I kissed my sexy hubby and grabbed his fanny ;)
My drains only outputted about 3 ml last night, each. I just know they're coming out tomorrow.
Thank you so much for the kind words, RS sisters. :-)
Ahhhhhhh, that's better...
I went to a follow-up appointment today and my drains were removed! My PS had mentioned during my first follow-up that they might have to stay in longer, hence my spiral down into my epic pity-party a couple of days ago. He pulled them out both at the same time. It felt like a pinch where they came out and I felt them slide out of my body. I didn't know he was going to do both at once so after I felt that, I opened one eye (they were both squeezed shut in anticipation of EPIC PAIN), and asked when he was going to do the other one. I was relieved to learn it was over! He removed some stitches, trimmed up some others, and did some work inside of my belly button, which I couldn't feel. It feels like my whole stomach is covered up with a half-
Inch of the stuff on a memory-foam mattress, it's so numb.
Went shopping with the hubby for some house stuff this afternoon and got my little girl a couple of spring outfits, then we picked her up from preschool and went to the grocery store as a family. I feel amazing, but I'm a little tired, and I'm going to sleep REALLY good tonight. Chatted with my boss on the phone for a bit; I'm looking forward to getting back to work, back to normal.
I tried on a halter dress today and modeled it for the hubby and kiddo. He said "Hey. That looks good!" And my little girl clapped her hands and said "Yayyyyyy Mommy's so pretty!"
Absolute bliss :)
Today my new, full, perky breasts and I took my (our?) daughter to preschool, came home, napped, ate lunch, watched "What Not To Wear" reruns, washed dishes, and went out to get the mail. We're going back out to gas up the car, grab some gauze from the store, and pick up the kiddo later on this afternoon. We'll post pictures of ourselves tonight!!! Happy healing to you guys and your (future or present) full, perky boobs as well!
Picture- One Week After Surgery!
I look funny but with a little hard work, I can use what my PS fixed for me and tone the rest through exercise.
Back to work
... For a half-day anyway. I'm exhausted. Like tired enough that I got home, set out everything for dinner, and my hubby's going to make dinner when he gets home
. I love the way I look in clothes!!! I put a tank top on this morning for underneath my clothes and I just loved what I saw in the mirror! I had straightened my hair and put on makeup, too. Now I can't wait until bedtime.
Speaking of bedtime, my PS said I could try sleeping on my side, but when I tried last night, my implants felt like boulders hanging off of my chest and my stomach muscles were so sore I ended up getting stuck and my hubby had to roll me over onto my back again.
On This, the Last Day of Boob-uary...
Boob-uary began with excitement and anticipation and has ended with accomplishment and pride: pride in myself and pride in my body. This experience has opened my eyes to my inner strength and outwardly, who my real friends are. I have seen a compassion in my husband that I did not even know was there. I have noticed myself maturing- the old me cared too much what other people thought. Now, I continue to be surprised of how few f#*^s I give about the meanness of others these days. Good-bye, Boob-uary- you've made a woman out of me
Today's Busy Day!
Went to bed at around midnight last night, Woke up at 7:30am, went to the bathroom, went back to sleep until 11:30am, had lunch, watched a cartoon with my daughter and colored with her (my hubby's watching her today). Then I went back to sleep from 1:00 pm until 4:45pm... Definitely catching up on rest today :-) I plan on doing a little fashion show for my hubby after dinner (tube tops, dresses, bikinis) and I'll share pics with you guys, too.
Tried on some summer clothes, trying to will summer to come with my mind!
During one of my naps today, I dreamed that I was looking in the mirror at my belly. I took off my binder and to my dismay it was my old hangy-down belly and under the flap of the "apron," there were intestines coming out! I freaked out and called my PS and he said "put gauze over it and refer to my website for all questions." Then I looked up his website and the only material on the page were links to photos of him wearing tight black t-shirts with pictures of kittens on them. The captions under each photo were like "cheer up" "I love pictures of kittens" and "it's normal and should go away on its own." Then I woke up. What a weird dream!
I got these for 11 dollars apiece on Amazon. I figure I'll still be swollen and thicker overall this summer, so I got these conservative two-pieces in larger sizes for the summer... So I can still feel sexy while covering up my TT scar and minor bloat/swelling :-)
You can see the swelling along my lower belly :-(
Went to my PS for my third follow-up since the surgery, and he says everything is going great :-) He really 100% knows what he's doing. I am glad I chose him to be my surgeon. I watched him snipping at stitches in my belly button today- I've always loved watching people when they're doing what they're good at. It's amazing! He definitely works in this expert way; I can only imagine how deftly and accurately his hands moved during the surgery to make such a huge, wonderful change in my body!
On another note, I'm stoked because he told me I can take a bath! I'm not a shower-girl. I've also been encouraged to start gradually increasing my activity level. That's cool. I'm feeling stronger every day. He said I don't have to wear the binder anymore unless I need it as a "security blanket." I've gone without it this evening, and let me tell you- I feel absolutely NAKED!!!