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Rhinoplasty: Mentally and Physically Draining Experience

When I was about 15, I was punched in the face by...

When I was about 15, I was punched in the face by a 20 year old girl. Traumatic experience. Not only did I have blood gushing down from my face, but it was coming up like a water fountain. I guess my nose never healed properly after that because I had a deviated septum. I always talked through my nose, I would breath through my mouth or just one nostril, and I felt that my nose looked broader and broader as I aged.

Anyhow, my insurance paid for me to get anything medical fixed as well as the hospital stay and the anesthesiologist. I was going to just get the septoplasty to fix my medical problem, but I have never really been happy with my nose. I always felt that it was too strong. I did not have a hump or anything though. Either way, I was only charged $4,000 extra for the rhinoplasty. I figured that it would be a good time to get it because if I were to have decided later on that I wanted it, I would have had to pay alot more that $4,000. My surgeon was an ENT with over 30 years experience. He does facial plastic surgery too.

After the surgery, I was in more pain than I had ever been in my entire life. I barfed up blood in the recovery room. It took them forever to get me to a normal room. However,my overnight hospital stay was pleasant. The nurses were very caring and attentive. As for my appearance, raccoon eyes is too light of a word to describe how much eyes looked the day after surgery. I looked like I had been hit by a train.Wearing that stuff up my nose for 24 hours was pure hell too. I could not wait until it was taken out right before I was discharged. Now, I am almost five days post-op. If I could go back, I would have never done it. I have seen how my nose looks without the cast. It popped off while I was in the hot tub, so I popped it back on. My nose is not bad and I only had a slight change, but I feel like I am not myself anymore. I am going through a deep depression. I thought this was going to be a happy time in  my life, but instead I feel like the scum of the Earth. I am spending my spring break in recovery, just left to wonder how much I will change everyday. My eyes are still really black and I am so worried about how things will be when I go back to school.

To everybody that is considering doing this, I would not suggest it unless you have a really big or obvious problem like a hump. It is a traumatic experience. I feel like I am part of a stigmatized, marginalized part of society. I never imagined I would have all these mixed emotions and a subtle change is still a big change to me. I do not think anything was wrong with me before besides for my medical problem and now I am out 4k that I could have spent on other stuff. The funny thing is that I had wanted rhinoplasty for years and I hated my nose.... Now, I just feel so alone. My family does not know how to support me and they can not understand how I feel. In all honesty, neither can I.

Now that I am 2 months post-op, my nose is crooked...

Now that I am 2 months post-op, my nose is crooked and more deviated than before. Prior to my surgery, the deviation was only evident in xrays and if you actually looked up my nose. Everything seems hopeless now. I am going to need a revision. How exciting... to waste more time recovering and to have to walk around like this for a year.

Things can change in a matter of days. Be patient....

Things can change in a matter of days. Be patient. My nose went from looking terrible and swollen when the cast came off; to unnatural, tight, and swollen; to surprisingly good. Like one doctor said, rhinoplasty is like fine wine.... Also, seriously wait a year to assess it and before considering a revision.

I am about six months post op. I had a closed...

I am about six months post op. I had a closed procedure. Now, that all the swelling is gone, I am unsatisfied. PRE-OP- My nose was big, but never crooked. Now, it is crooked and I can feel two bones in my bridge instead of one. It also feels sharp on the sides and flat on certain areas across the bridge. I really regret my decision. What should I do now? The doctor offered to give me the 4k back, but he wants me to sign all these legal papers. I am only 21 and really depressed.

Today was one of the first days in a long time...

Today was one of the first days in a long time that I felt terrible about my rhinoplasty. I try to forget about it most days and just focus on my positives. However, I seen a video of myself taken with iPhone today and I felt I just looked terrible. Everything that is wrong with my nose looked so obvious in the video and noticeable, even the profile looked bad. iPhone videos are just terrible. I look okay when I use my laptop webcam even when I use the front cam on iPhone and I record myself, but when somebody else records me on iPhone I feel I look soooo bad. Maybe I'm just not feeling good about myself today. The bad part is I feel like a terrible person for stressing out about something petty like a nose when there are really problems in the world. Humans suffering and animal cruelty. It's all just so sad and here I am worrying about a nose job from three years ago. Really it's just rough. I wish I had more people to talk with in real life about this. As I'm getting a few years older, I stress when I see first signs of my face maturing. I'm 24 now and I am just starting to miss the early 00s so much when I was a teenager and care free and much more fresh faced. I miss so many people from my past and moments that will never come back. I look back on old pics and I should have just kept my old nose and later if I still wanted, waited until I did more research and had money to go to someone reputable. I also would have waited until I was older. 20 soon to be 21 was too young to do what I did. Because of what I did, I even had to spend my 21st birthday thinking about my nose. Really, I hadn't thought about my nose in sooooo long, but today was just a bad day. On another note, I went to an ENT for issues with my ears. I thought I would tell him about my nose while I was in the office. He examined it and basically told me the same stuff all the other doctors have (lack of projection, some crookedness, etc). He recommended J. Regan Thomas as somebody who does quality work and is not as expensive as other doctors ( say Toriumi who I seen for a consult two years back) in the area. Maybe I will go see him in a few months when I'm feeling better. I think if I had to get it redone and money wasn't an object, I would go for toriumi or regan Thomas. At the same time, I'm really too afraid I would be more unhappy with my end result. Also, instead of spending money for my nose, I should maybe put it to better use. The thing about plastic surgery too is that it makes you feel guilty. People are starving and you are spending money on surgery. Yes, buying a purse or an expensive outfit is also similar, but it just doesn't make me feel as guilty as surgery. Anyway, sorry for my rant and any typos( I'm on iPhone). I just need to vent. Hope tomorrow I can feel more positive about myself and learn to appreciate myself and what I do have. Peace and Love everybody!

Hi everybody, I am amazed with the amount of...

Hi everybody, I am amazed with the amount of people out there who have had rhinoplasty and just the comments on my post. For so long, in my personal life, I've been private about my experience outside of my immediate family and somewhat anonymously on here. However, I was thinking of creating a youtube channel with all the videos I took post-op. I have a large collection of videos I took with my webcam in which I speak about the surgery. Would anybody be interested in watching something like that? Maybe I could help some people to learn they are not alone.

PLEASE STOP WRITING ME ASKING WHO MY DOCTOR WAS!

I am open to talking to anybody about rhinoplasty and chatting. However, I am sick of getting emails asking me who my doctor was! #1, he is not any cosmetic surgeon you will come across. He is just an ENT. He hasn't done many plastics in recent years and focuses on other breathing problems. You will most likely not see anything about rhinoplasty advertised for him! Now, if you want to talk to me about the procedure in general or revisions or just experiences- good or bad, feel free. I will also be open to saying who my doctor was, but I do not appreciate randon emails just with one line asking me who my doctor was!

Past few weeks

I've been feeling insecure these days as I get older. I was only 20 when I got my nose done and I still haven't got it fixed. I don't look back on my old pics often, but when I do, I miss my old face soooo much! :( I see people with natural faces like Asa on Shahs of Sunset. Her nose is wider and big and ethnic, but its natural and beautiful. Meanwhile, the other people on that show are not nearly as beautiful and they all have nose jobs. I wish I would have never done this. As much as I disliked my nose, nobody ever really judged me for it. I was never laughed at for it. Also, at least it was my natural nose!!! I feel like my appearance has changed so much. Most people who I don't tell, don't know. I'm sure they just assume its that my face has matured from being a teen into my mid 20s. However, I do notice and I do have lots of regrets. I don't have a surgical look, but I feel it looks different on both sides. It just changed my face so much and I hate my bridge. People who haven't gone through rhinoplasty like my family, just don't understand. Wish I had more people to talk with and be around for support. I go to law school and everybody is a jerk. I really hate the professional environment. Its filled with cold people with no personability who don't really care about their appearance, but nonetheless think they are the best looking people in the world. I wish I could go back to before I did this. I wonder how my old nose would have aged on my face. At the same time, the only upside I see to my surgery is that now my nose won't get so big when I get older. I notice many people's noses get way bigger as they get into their 40s and their noses only get bigger and bigger.

Didn't really sleep last night

I realize I've suppressed memories of my surgery for the longest time. I'm not going to lie, I have felt ok the past few years. I've even taken some ok pics. Still, when I think about the hell I went through it wasn't worth it. The bruising. The wondering if I would ever be beautiful again. The constant everyday changing of my nose. The pain I feel now when I see old pictures. The dissatisfaction I have :'( nobody understands. I also hate when I see people on TV who look hideous with their nose jobs and who looked much better with their big noses. I feel the surgical look has been in a while now with many celebs who happen to be popular and unfortunately we look to them for beauty advice and ultimately, they look hideous and altered in an unnatural unflattering way.

Just like Siberia

Nothing to do but sit inside and eat and get fat with this cold weather and constant snow storms and polar vortex. I have just been in the worst state of mind. Constant looking at myself in the mirror, staying up late thinking, annoying people with my talks about plastic surgery, obsessing over how many guys give me attention, worrying about if all my failed relationships had to do with the guy falling out of "attraction" with me. People who haven't done this just don't understand!!! I'm thinking about going to another Toriumi consult and I want to post the computer imaging pictures he did for me a few years ago as soon as I find them. I thought they looked good and subtle and fixed all my surgical flaws, but I doubt that's what the actual end result I would have is and anyway unless his prices have decreased dramatically, how can I possibly hand over that much money in one lump sum! I also considered Gunter in Texas for a while, but the whole nose rotting off story is just frightening. I also think a lot of the doctors in Beverly Hills are not all they are hyped up to be.

Hard piece of cartilage

Btw, I forgot to mention, I've had a hard piece of excess cartilage by the side of my nose close to my eye since I have had surgery. I'm noticing it more and more. You can't see it at all because I have thick skin, but if I put my finger there I can feel it and it feels so hard and tender when I push down on it.

Only people who have been through rhinoplasty understand

For 3 years, I put rhinoplasty thoughts on the back burner. Its not the end of a relationship that made me question my looks, but I want to look my best to start a new life. Sometimes I question if the bad nose job was the reason I got involved with this loser ex 3 years ago and suckered into his world. Whatever the case, this surgery left me with awful results and deformities which include a hard piece of cartilage (not a graft, but my actual nose cartilage) in a hard ball on the side of my nose, near my eye. Thankfully, my thick skin is able to cover it, but I still feel awful. People who haven't had surgery never know the right stuff to say, especially women! I've always been somebody who loves to give people positive compliments and compliments that are actually flattering. Telling somebody else they are gorgeous and looking at their positives makes me feel great. I'm far from the catty type, but many women out there are the catty types. They will say negative things about you to make you feel worse and some people give bad compliments, which leads me to wonder if they are actually compliments. They will compare me to a celebrity who I find unattractive and who looks nothing like me or they will say something stupid like my nose could be worse.

I feel awful and selfish, sitting here complaining everyday about a bad nose job. I know mine isn't the worse, but it still was a hack job by a doctor who had no business doing rhinoplasty. The bottom line is, my appearance has always been very important to me and this was devastating. While there are people who do not think about their appearance and don't worry about being the hottest woman they can be, I'm not one of those women. I'm also sick and tired of being told by people who haven't been through a bad rhinoplasty that I'm obsessing about my appearance or that I'm acting crazy or like I have body dysmorphia. I'm the last person to have unrealistic expectations. As a matter of fact, I look at some celebrities and I can't stand their fake obviously surgical looks and over-injected faces. When it comes to rhino, I do have realistic expectations and my dream was never to have a tiny nose. I realize my skin and bone structure will not support a tiny nose and it will not look good on me. I just want MY nose, but one that is a little more feminine while still being ethnic. At the end of the day, my dream is to go back to my old nose and consider a primary with an experienced rhinoplasty surgeon. Unfortunately, I can't go back and even the best surgeons jobs sometimes require revisions.
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Have any of you heard good reviews about Thomas? He seems to be a great surgeon but I don't see many pictures of reviews on him!
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Btw Regan is very picky about which revision he will take. He is at that age that he won't take difficult cases. So if he was going to take you that means your nose is not as difficult to fix. He was going to take me too but turned my friend away and referred her to Toriumi.
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Eeek! That's scary to know mine might be hard to fix and I left his office appreciating his honesty, but feeling disillusioned and like I'm totally disfigured. He kept telling me I have thick skin. My thick skin hides some of the irregularities. Otherwise, I probably wouldn't leave the house. I have a million problems. Lack of projection and everything.
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He is very nice and very honest. I liked him but felt that it was strange that he wouldn't show me pics of his patients. I have to see the style of his noses and his work yet he gave me 101 reasons why he won't show me pictures. I just couldn't go with him. Although I hear he is very good.
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That's correct. I was referred to Dr. Thomas by my friend's husband who is an anestesiologist and often works together with dr. Thomas. He swers by him, he said he's the best. However, even though he came to say "hi" and said that I am his friend, dr. Thomas said that I need complex revision with cartilage and forwarded me to dr. Touriumi. But dr. Shah, whom I went to see next, said that I have enough of septum cartilage and the chance that he'll use my rib is less than 5%.
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Who did you end up going with or are you still waiting for a revision? At this point, all I can do is realize mine could be way worse. There are some celebrities who really have hack jobs, but take pictures and everything. I see that money doesn't always matter. There are millionaires with bad jobs.
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I'm still doing my research. I don't think I'll go to Shah even though he's in Chicago and my friend did her primary with him and it turned out very nice. I want to go with dr.Grigoryants, since has a lot of before/afters of the noses simular to mine with very nice results ( I have a wide nose with thick, oily skin and fat nostrils).But if is strange that he has no bad reviews, who knows maybe he filters them somehow...
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Send me your pics pls, I'll send you mine.
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I will message you private.
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Dr G is great for primary but he also turns down difficult revision patients. I saw him in person and he was going to take me on but I felt he doesn't have enough experience with revision and ear cartilage. I didn't have any septum left to use so I was worried it's too much for him.
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Hi can you also send me the name of your Surgeon! I'm thinking about doing this and I don't want to go with the same doctor
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Hi Miss, I don't know if you still come on this site or not but I was wondering how you are doing and if you are planning on getting a revision. Hope you are doing better.
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I, too, am going through the trauma and drama! I mean, I had SOME idea that if I got a result I didn't absolutely love, it could take a toll on me, but I was in the mindset of "ya can't make this nose worse!" I have to pinch myself sometimes because I can't believe I put myself through this. Revision is the scariest thing to face, no question! From your description of your issues with your nose, it sounds like you may have what is referred to as an "open-roof deformity"? I hate to use the word "deformity" but that is the technical term.... everything in this type of surgery that is not ideal is called a deformity, I suppose. Keep us posted on your search for a revision doc, and thank you for sharing our story. It is so important for us to have each other to talk to, and not to scare others off from the procedure but really shed the light on the down side that one might face, even in the best of hands. Good luck to you!!
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Lol I don't think I ever responded to you, but I've known about open room deformity for some time now. It sucks.
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Btw, I will most definitely need grafts to rebuild my bridge because if they were to simply bring it together, it would be pinched. Mine has been shortened too much and I have no idea why the stupid surgeon would even do that because I had NO bump to begin with.
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you sound just like me. I got an old type of nose from years and it has come back to haunt me in my 60's...
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Hi there I would totally be interested in that video. Send me a private message if you have one up already.
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MissIllinois2009, I found rhinoplasty traumatic as well. I made the decision when I was young, and I too miss my old nose with its odd, quirky cuteness. My nose is slightly too small for my face, it's perfectly shaped but like a tiny little button (that's what the fashion was 10 years ago - for little ski jumps). The experience itself was traumatic ... I started bleed profusely the night after my surgery and was admitted to ER where an intern started pulling the internal stitching from my nostrils. I swallowed so much blood that my faeces was black from it the following two days. It was a life-changer in a way. But like every traumatic experience, it fades with time. Have you considered speaking to a surgeon about revision? Or talking to someone about it?
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Hi rosaleen! I have seen a few doctors about revision, including Dean Toriumi back in 2010. All the renowned doctors like Toriumi want so much money and I don't think he even accepts financing. If I get a revision, I want it to be very subtle and only focus on the actual problems. I will only go to a surgeon ith extensive experience on noses. I was also advised by another ENT to see Dr. J. Regan Thomas. Maybe he won't be as expensive as Toriumi. I hope to go to him for a consult in the near future. However, he probably wants a lot of money too. Right now, I have to spend my money on grad school and even if I had the money, I would be a little fearful to go under the knife again because even the best doctors have horror stories out there :(
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Good luck xx
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you sound just like me with an old nose job......
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I consulted with Dr. Regan Thomas and he doesn't charge as much as Dr. Toriumi. He charges the average and that's for revision. I am going to see him again next month to confirm some things and see who I want to go with for my revision.
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who was your surgeon for your primary?
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I consulted with Regan Thomas and he is less than my original guy. I think you should go see him. He is very nice and to a point.
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I did go see him and he referred me to Toriumi. Maybe I made the mistake of telling him I already seen Toriumi. He told me Toriumi would be the best for accomplishing what I want to accomplish with grafts and all.
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