Can't Make A Decision and Feeling Teary - Portland, ME

I'm a thin, 52 year old with under muscle 300cc...

I'm a thin, 52 year old with under muscle 300cc saline implants that I've had for 13 years. I was a 34AA-A before and am now a full 34B. I've never had any problems other than rippling along the outsides, I no longer like the round, fake look and think they just don't look good on me anymore. Today I had a consult with my original ps. While he didn't exactly try to talk me into replacing the saline with smaller silicone ones, he thinks because I'm so thin and have such little breast tissue that I will not only be totally flat but almost concave as a result of the explant. I felt like a 12 year old boy before the implants thanks to nursing 3 boys each for a year, and I don't want to feel like that again but I'd certainly be happy with an A cup. My options are to have them removed, see how things look and go back later for the small silicone or just go with the small silicone now. Obviously it would cost more to go back. He does not think I need a lift in either scenario. I don't know why I'm feeling so teary about this. When I read all the stories about how happy everyone is with their explants, I feel like I'd be one of them. I just want them out. But, I don't want to have 2 divots on my chest either. Can anyone with a similar body type provide me with some guidance and insight? Thanks for the help.
My advice, is to remove them and do a fat graft. I am very similar to you. Had my 300 cc saline sub-muscular implants for 17 yrs. I am also thin and they looked very round and fake. I had them removed in April and did a fat graft to prevent the collapsing in and looking concave. The Dr showed me a picture of just that happening during surgery. Thanks to the fat graft, my result is soft and natural. Wondering if you have considered this option. Maybe you could get a consult with a surgeon that performs this procedure.
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Interesting. My doctor never mentioned a fat graft. Can I ask where your doctor got the fat from? I don't have much to spare.
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I used Dr Christina Ahn in NYC. I highly recommend her.
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Adding photos

I was reading your story and decided to throw in my feed back for what its worth. I do not have a frame similar to you, and yet I was told the same thing so may of these women were told "you will not be happy unless you...." Do more work basically. I was told that by 4 different Dr.'s, and let me tell you I was a 32C before... my concern was saggy. Looking back STUPID that I chose implants to "lift" them up and fill in the upper pole. I have found you need to make the decision of what you want. If you have saline, deflation allows you to see what you are left with so you can take the next step. Personally in Orange County I found 1 out of 8 Dr.'s I called that would allow me to do that. Everyone said it would be 2 surgeries, and yes that is more expensive.
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Thanks Too Much. I'm thinking more and more that deflation and then deciding is what I want to do. I know some people say there can be more breast tissue than before but I'm afraid that won't be true in my case. If anything, I weigh less than I did when I got the implants and I know from the rippling that I have that I'm pretty much all implant. Still, I'd like to have the option of seeing what things look like and how I progress by going the deflation route.
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There is a fat transfer option too. I can give you some of mine :) Ha ha.... Every body is different, so deflation really lets you know a little better where you are.
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Crystal ball needed!

I wasn't sure if I could do this but I've copied some before/after pics from the PS website that I'm seeing next week. This is not me but very similar to what I looked like before my implants 13 years ago. I do NOT want to be that flat chested again. I know none of us has a crystal ball but would it be realistic to think I'd look a little better than that after an explant?
I feel for you, its such a hard decision. I love the attitude of the women on this site, they are so strong, encouraging and nonjudgmental. I am getting my implants out in a few weeks and I have been reading as many stories as I can trying to get comfort. I will say that the majority of the stories I've read the women stated they went back to how they looked preimplant and they just came to a point where they were content of how they looked preimplant. I'm working on that still, I don't like the size I have now, I definitely want these ginormous things out. Before finding this site I was initially thinking of a lift and smaller implants to get my "ideal" breasts. Than I read all the stories on here and I was thinking how great it sounds to have soft natural real breasts and if I had smaller implants they still wouldn't look natural or be perfect and they wouldn't feel like real breasts and I would likely continue to have the problems with muscle spasms/cramps that I have now and possible other issues that would lead to removal later. I feel like I'm going through a grievance cycle, denial, anger, depression, bargaining a day of acceptance than back to denial.. I keep giving myself hope that if I wrap my breasts tight after removal and use lotions they will end up more perky and less mushy than preimplant, but after 9 years of 3 cups bigger breasts that just isn't logical.. than I tell myself ok if you don't like them you can still go back get lift and smaller implants later, than I get angry that why can't I just have natural nice feeling perky real breasts why do I have to choose between implants and well what mine are.. I know ultimately what is best for me is to reach acceptance of my breasts how they naturally are and that it probably takes time. My plan is to no matter how much I dislike my breasts after removal that I am not going to do anything for at least a year and I hope that will give me time to go through the grievance cycle completely and just have acceptance, maybe even a like of my natural breasts. Anyways I just wanted to say that I sympathize with your struggle and thought I'd share mine, hope all goes well and I wish you the best with whatever you decide is best for you!
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Thank you so much for your encouragement. I guess I didn't expect this whole decision to be so emotional. It's taken me by surprise. In some ways there's an irrational fear of making the wrong decision. I need to remember if I hate the way I look after explant I can go back for something smaller. I honestly don't want to go down that road so I'm hoping I can have the patience to deal with the results and just live with it for a while.
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Hi 2happyboobs and thanks for sharing your story. You're right, explant is a difficult decision medically and emotionally, much harder than when we elected to get implants years ago. But the support and information from women on this sight has been so encouraging and empowering for me personally. Are you planning on explant without reimplant? We will be here to support you.
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2nd Consult A Success!

I just had a consult with another practice and I am very pleased. Unlike my first consult (with my original PS), this doctor didn't make me feel like I'd be making a mistake if I didn't have a replacement. After examining me he was confident I'd look pretty much as I did before having implants - just 13 years older! That's fair cuz I am!! He said everything is where it should be and that I have a stage 1 capsule, which doesn't require him to do anything other than take the implant out. He'll numb me up with novocaine, deflate the implant, take it out and send me on my way. VoilĂ . He said I will be a little sore and would suggest refraining from golf for 1-2 weeks, so I'm going to wait and have it done this fall.
Thank you everyone who posted with their heartfelt thoughts and support. I can't tell you what it has meant to me. I feel so much better about this process and know I'm making the right decision. I'll update again after I've had the procedure. xoxoxo
That sounds like a great second consult. I am doing the ssame procedure on August 28. We should keep in touch!
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Yes. Keep me posted on your procedure. I can't say I don't have any reservations about explanting as I am a bit fearful that I'll be a saggy, flat mess but I almost don't care. As time goes on I feel like I'd rather go out of this world, whenever that may be, as God made me and not with artificial parts. Keeping my fingers crossed. Stay in touch.
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Did you change your mind?
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