I had my BA surgery 9 years ago when I was in my...
I had my BA surgery 9 years ago when I was in my mid-twenties. I have always been very petite and weigh the same amount now (with a 9 month old baby!) as I did in high school. Back then, I was a 34A and just never felt feminine in my slim, curve-less frame. I wanted nothing more than to feel beautiful and womanly and I thought implants would give me that confidence I was looking for. I was almost obsessed with breasts at that point, even checking out the boobs on the Disney princesses my niece loved so much! After a ton of research and a lot of thought I had my surgery done, and I did begin to feel more feminine. Measured at a VS store, I was told my new bra size was a 32D (which is really hard to find, let me tell you! But 34Cs also worked)
Fast forward several years, and I am beginning to feel more and more "ashamed" or "embarrassed" about my body. I am still petite and feel that my breasts are just too big for me. I have realized that I don't stand up as straight as I should and find my shoulders to be rounded inward at times because I don't want to push out my breasts anymore than necessary. I am also a new mom and am nursing my 9 month old daughter, so my breasts have been a big focus of my attention. And I just don't like the way they make me feel anymore!
I began googling "breast implant removal" and now I just cannot stop thinking about having them removed. I want them out ASAP, but also want to continue to nurse my baby and provide her with the nutrition she needs, so I plan to wait a few more months. My issue right now has been deciding whether to use the same surgeon who did my surgery initially (though he is in a different state, so I am thinking I wont), deciding when to do this surgery (how long after I stop nursing particularly), and trying to determine how the surgery will impact my care of my daughter (can I lift her, rock her, hold her after this procedure?)
For some reason I was very nervous to call for a consultation appointment. I finally did it today though! I am seeing Dr Chung on 6/5 for a consultation to review my options for explanation. The office staff seemed surprised that I wanted implants removed and did not want new implants put in. Surely I am not the first one who has done this though- all of the stories on this website are proof! Can anyone explain to me what exactly a capsulectomy is? Does everyone who is getting implants removed need this? What are the benefits of having a lift as well? I hope the surgeon will explain all of this to me too, but I would love to hear the opinions and advice of you knowledgeable ladies!
While these past 9 years have been fine with my implants (no health issues or pain), I just want my soft, natural breasts back and I want to feel like my little A's are ok after all. I want to stand up tall and confident, little boobies and all, and feel beautiful! Thankfully, I have a wonderful, loving husband who I know will make me feel beautiful no matter what my body looks like. Being a new mommy, I want my daughter to grow up loving her body just the way she is. And what better way to teach her that than to be a role model for her! Thank you to all on this site for sharing your inspiring stories and pictures of your beautiful natural selves.
Had my consultation
Had my consultation with Dr Chung on 6/5. He was really great and did not at all push me toward a lift or getting smaller implants and really seemed to want to understand how they are effecting me and why I want them out. He offered two options- removal under local anesthesia with capsules remaining (about $1500) vs removal with capsulectomy under general anesthesia (about $2500 for surgeon and surgery center fees), done in a surgery center and with the need for drains after. He pointed out that my capsules appear very soft and pliable, there is no capsular contracture and rippling can be seen in some areas, which is a sign of a thin capsule. He really left it up to me to decide which option I preferred. I have not set a date and have not fully decided yet, but I think I am leaning towards the explantation in office under local. The price doesnt matter to me that that much, both are less than what i paid for them initially! I have a baby at home and anything I can do to make for an easier recovery would be ideal, so I think I'd rather not have the drains. I just cannot wait to get these things out of me! Like so many other women have noted, I just hate feeling like there is something fake inside me. Everyone's after pictures look so nice and that is so encouraging- but even if I look like a skinny flat chested little boy, I wouldn't care! Right now I am watching my beautiful baby grow and (selfishly!) waiting for her to be done nursing so that I can schedule my procedure date. Can anyone tell me what their experience of explantation under local was like?? How long would I need to be out of work for this? Am I not going to be able to hold my daughter post-op? Also where can I buy a great compression bra? You all are so wonderful- thank you in advance for any insights or ideas! :)
One step closer
Well I am now one step closer to my explant! Six months after my initial consultation with the ps, I have finally called the office to schedule a surgery date. The surgeon had offered either local anesthesia in the office surgery suite or at a hospital under general. I have opted for the in-office procedure. I have not stopped thinking about getting these awful things out, but time has just gotten away from me between work and my family life. But I have been back on this wonderful site and reading all of the happy stories of successful explants has made me know for sure I want to do this more than ever. I just hate feeling like I have something fake inside me and can't wait for them to be gone. The surgeon's secretary offered me a date of 1/27 but I cannot do that day so I have left a message back asking for the week after. When I hung up the phone I thought to myself "oh my goodness, I am going to be FREE again!"
And along with finally calling and taking the next step in this process, I have also finally taken some pictures. My implants are saline and under the muscle, and I can't recall the exact cc's, but I think something like 300-350. My right breast has become larger than the left, and interestingly enough, that is the side my daughter has preferred to nurse on. I have not yet fully weaned my baby and am still nursing at bedtime. I'm hoping this surgery won't interfere with that, the surgeon said it wouldn't, but I am getting to the point now that I would be willing to end nursing cold turkey if I had to. I want these out THAT badly! I just can't wait to have little boobies again- I want to stand up tall and straight and not feel like I have to hide them anymore! I will update soon once I pick a date! I'm soooo excited!
Oh and just two more pics
I meant to add these two more, taken in the reflection of the mirror. That poor right side is much lower. But I don't even care- I will take mismatched boobs, just as long as they are small and real again!
(Jeez clearly I keep hitting "save changes" too soon!) here is a pic my husband took for me. Some rippling on my left side and the heavier, lower one on my right
Have a surgery date!
My explant date is set for 2/10/14. My birthday is actually on 2/11 too, so what a great present to myself this will be! :)
Running will be so much easier
I ran a few miles on the treadmill yesterday and all I could think of was how annoying these things feel! Too big, too hard and I could feel the slight sloshing of fluid inside me. I hate that! I can't wait for them to be gone!! I just got my surgery paperwork in the mail- I will only be due to pay $1800 so that is better than I had initially planned. I am sending my check in today! And today is Christmas Eve which is such a happy time of year :) I will be so glad that this time next year I won't have to "hide" my big fake boobs when I hug my family members. I will be little and free!! :)
Babies and boobies
I was reading a lot of other explanting reviews tonight and someone mentioned feeling very differently about their breasts (with implants) after having and nursing a child. I feel the exact same way. I did like my larger breasts for a time, and they did make me feel more womanly, as I had initially hoped. When I became pregnant I knew I wanted to breastfeed and I am happy and grateful to still be nursing my daughter at almost 16 months. There is something different though now, in the way I think of myself and see my body. I feel so proud of my body, and in awe of the fact that I was able to create a human being, grow her inside of me and then even feed and nurture this being from my own body. I just cannot stand to think of anything fake inside of my body, which was able to give and provide me so much. It also feels somehow that my breasts are serving a different purpose now and I don't "need" the implants like I did before.
One month to go!
Wow today is exactly one month from my explant date. I am definitely starting to realize how "real" this is and I'm beginning to feel a little nervous, but still very excited. I've been thinking about this for so long and reading about it and researching it...and now it's really almost here. I'm all paid up so there's no turning back now! I'm starting to learn about what I will need for after the surgery - compression bras or sports bras I imagine, though I haven't been told anything specific about that from the surgeon's office yet. I've read a lot of women are wrapped tightly with an ace bandage so I'm going to buy one of those too- just in case the surgeon doesn't give me one, or as a clean back up if they do. I never really have emphasized my breasts with clothing or anything like that, but I'm certainly trying to downplay and cover them up more so now. I don't want it to be a sudden drastic-looking difference for when I go back to work. Speaking of work, I almost considering pushing my surgery date back because of things going on at work around that time, but I just couldn't bring myself to do it. I am ready for these to be out of me! Right now I'm planning to just take two days off from work, Monday my surgery date and Tuesday as a resting day. I don't have a very physical or strenuous job, I walk a lot and work on the computer while at work so I hope to be ok. If worse comes to worse, I will call out sick for another day or two if I have to. I'm sort of getting butterflies just thinking about it!
I keep looking at the calendar and thinking, wow three weeks from now I will be free again. These awful things will be gone and I will be my natural self, the way god intended. Exactly three weeks from now I will actually be post op day #1! Every time I talk with friends or family about plans in the next few months I find myself thinking "March 1st! That will be after my surgery!" It's like my life us divided into three categories- before implants, during and after. AFTER! I soon will have an after! And I couldn't be happier!! :)
I had an alert on my calendar this morning, reminding me not to take aspirin products for the two weeks before my surgery, per the surgeon's instructions. I can't believe it is only two weeks away now! I'm so excited about it, I feel like I want to tell everyone about the surgery -- but of course I'm not, no one really knows about my implants besides my mom, husband, and a couple very close friends. I feel like I'm walking around with this happy little secret though: soon they will be GONE! I am starting to get nervous with lots of questions running through my head- will I be in a lot of pain? Will I be able to hold my daughter (who always wants to be held!), am I going to be able to nurse her as I'm hoping to? I'm thinking I should "pump and dump" shortly after the surgery to get any of the anesthetic out of my milk. I'm trying to learn more about what types of anesthetics are used in local and how they affect milk. Kellymom.com has been a great resource for this! I also was only planning to take two days off work, the day of my surgery and the day after, so I'm wondering if that will be enough. So many questions! I am very excited, but my nerves are definitely starting to kick in. I know the morning of the surgery I am going to be so excited and nervous, I'm sure I will be queasy. Thank god my husband will be with me.
a HUGE thank you!
And I just have to say thank you, thank you, thank you to all of the amazing, brave women on this site who have shared their experiences with implant removal. I honestly don't know if I would have had the courage to go through with this procedure if not for all your stories. I have been wanting my implants removed for years but never acted on it. Then once I found this site and read everyone's successful stories of explanting, I just couldn't stop thinking about it. Thank you for all the support, all the shared stories and wisdom. And thank you to everyone here for empowering women like me to become our natural beautiful selves again! :)
This time next week..
This time next week I will be GETTING THEM OUT!! I can't believe it's only one week away now. It felt like the surgery was scheduled so far out initially, but now it's so close. I bought an awesome front closure compression bra by Marena and some long 6 inch wide gauze got wrapping around my chest. The surgeon's office said I would get an RX for Valium in the mail about a week before but nothing has arrived yet. That's all I need and then I'm good to go! Can't wait!!!
Just a few more days..
Yesterday i got my confirmation call from the office, asking me to arrive at 7:30am on Monday. I picked up my prescriptions for clindamycin, Vicodin and an Ativan to take an hour before the surgery. Wow. It's really happening. I'm starting to feel butterflies in my stomach. I'm nervous, excited, scared. But there is no way I would turn back now, I want this more than anything! I'm actually really glad to have the Ativan. I know the morning of I will be feeling really anxious and excited and will probably be so nervous about getting there on time, so I'm hoping this will help to calm my nerves since I will be fully awake (but with local anesthesia of course) for the surgery. Ahhh!! I just want Monday to get here all ready!!!
Oh my god tomorrow is the day!
Oh my god I just cant believe tomorrow is my day. I have been thinking about this for so long, researching and planning and waiting. And tomorrow my boobs will be little again, the way I was meant to be!! I can't thank everyone here enough, your support has meant so much to me! I feel like I have a special little group of girlfriends who are helping me get through this :) So many, many thanks to you! I will definitely update more tomorrow, or just as soon as possible. An interesting twist too- my daughter, who had been nursing still in the morning and then again before bed, this morning did not want to nurse. She didn't ask, I didn't offer, and I just let it go at that. I'm pretty sure i have like close to no milk left anyway, I think she just nurses for comfort most of the time and probably doesn't get more than an ounce or two at most. I wasn't sore at all after not nursing since 7:30 pm last night so that also makes me think my milk is dwindling. Which is sad but okay too, it's got to end sometime I suppose! I will be leaving the house before she is awake tomorrow so I was worried that maybe I would have to wake her to nurse before my surgery. But now today without her nursing in the morning, I think I can just let the sweet girl sleep and we will be just continue with a bedtime breastfeeding. Anyway I'm rambling. I'm excited, scared, anxious!!! The surgeon said the procedure would be about 30 minutes so I'm hoping it's not too bad! Keep your fingers crossed for me girls!! :)
Just had it done!!!!
10 Feb 2014
Day of treatment
All done! It was over in like 1/2 hour but I do feel pretty groggy and weird and kinda drunk from the Ativan I took beforehand. But they're gone! I'm LITTLE again!! I got to see both implants and they were clear and unpunctured. He said my capsules are thin so he left them alone. He removed the old incision scar. Internal sutures and surgical glue on the outside. Feeling pretty good so far! Just a little weird with the Ativan still! More to come!
10 Feb 2014
Day of treatment
Now that I'm home and settled and feeling better, I just wanted to write more about the surgery itself. The Ativan beforehand definitely helped me to feel less anxious, given that this procedure was under local anesthesia. It was over pretty fast and they had music playing and he or his two nurses talked to me throughout. The needles to numb my breasts weren't too bad at all. The weirdest sensation was when he pulled the implant out. I thought for some reason that they would drain it and then pull it out deflated but he pulled it out all in one piece. It felt like it was "stuck" inside me and as he pulled I was thinking of a suction cup. As I mentioned, he put surgical glue on the outside, no sutures, so he said it was ok for me to shower right away. He instructed me not to lift more than 10 lbs, but when I explained my daughter is 24.5 lbs, he said I could lift her gently but keep her to the side and to be mindful if it was uncomfortable to hold her. He wanted to see me back in one week.
After the surgery, my hubby and I went out for breakfast. I didn't have a huge appetite but had a little. Then we decided to go for a ride to a new town we are thinking of buying our next home in. I was due to take my antibiotic at 12, and after that unfortunately the rest of the afternoon was pretty bad. I threw up twice in the car, in my hair and on my clothes, before I could grab something to use. Then when we finally got home I threw up two more times. I couldn't keep anything down, not crackers or water. I ended up drinking some of my daughter's pedialyte. I was able to nurse my baby before bed with no issues and she didn't even seem to mind my little boobs! I wasn't sure if I had thrown up from being in the car too long, from the Ativan or the antibiotic, so at 8pm I took my next dose of it... And again threw up repeatedly within 20 mins. Sooo no more clindamycin for me! I have to call the surgeon first thing in the morning and ask for something new. Also my pain hasn't been too bad yet at all, just uncomfortable more than anything. Last night before bed I was gonna take a Vicodin just so I would sleep well, but that ended up coming up! :( Anyway here are a couple pics of my little tiny, droopy boobies. They are a little "Liney" because of the compression bra.
Post op day 1
I slept well overnight (found laying on my back to be most comfortable) and haven't vomited again since about 8:30pm yesterday. Called the doctors office this morning and I'm still waiting for them to call me back with a new antibiotic. I just cannot take that clindamycin again. I weighed myself yesterday before surgery and was 106, today after surgery and all the throwing up, I weigh 103.2. Managed to keep toast and tea down this morning, hooray! I'm feeling just a little bit of pain when I move certain ways, and think that's mostly from the compressing ace wrap. Here are some pics from today! I'm so in love with my little saggy boobies. I know they will "fluff" eventually, but they are natural and all me, and thats all I wanted! Happy birthday to me!! :)
Post op day 2
So I went back to work today and have just taken Tylenol once all day. Every once in a while I feel little sore spots, mostly at the incision, or if I reach or move a weird way. I've been trying to wear the ace wrap pretty much 24/7, except for showering and for the 10 minutes while I nurse my daughter. And let me tell you, I'm starting to get so itchy underneath the ace bandage!! Ive read some reviewers have recommended a "coobie bra" under the ace wrap as being a good remedy for this. I'm going to look into ordering one. I also might try wearing a tank and then the ace wrap on top. I'm still happy with my little boobies and am excited to see them "progress". They are still pretty concave looking from the side. But I really don't care! I love them cause they're MINE and I don't miss those big fake boobs for a second! Did I mention already that my PS decided not to put me on an antibiotic, since I couldn't tolerate the clindamycin? He said it was just prophylactic and I didn't have to take something else. I wouldn't have minded taking something, but whatever- I'm just going with the flow for now since I'm feeling good and so far things look fine. Here are my post op day two pics. I won't bore you all with pics every single day- maybe in a couple more days. But so far so good, no bruising, no swelling that I can see. My incisions look good, no weird swelling or redness or other sign of infection. Keep up the good work, little healing boobies! :)
Not quite a week yet..
And feeling great! I'm so happy to be getting rid of this huge pile of huge bras! I put a couple on for a laugh and found that my "new" little boobs are just so tiny in these big cups! I find myself standing taller, shoulders back, and am loving that I am not subconsciously hiding my fake boobs anymore! It feels SO awesome to be REAL again!
Yesterday was one week post op!
I had my follow up appointment yesterday, at one week post explant! The PS said everything looks good, there's no sign of infection or seroma. He said my surgical glue will flake off over the next 8-10 weeks. I am now free from the compression bra and/or ace bandage, he just wants me to wear a sports bra 24/7 for the next 2-3 weeks. I do have one little bruise that developed on my right breast, but it's not too bad. I just want to mention to anyone considering explant, this is really the best thing I have ever done. For my simple explant (no lift, no capsulectomy) under local anesthesia, the recovery was really very easy. I would say I was sore or tender for maybe three days after. But I went back to work on day two, nursed and cared for my daughter as usual and did everything normally around my home. They're small and saggy but they're MINE! There's nothing fake or foreign inside of me and that makes me feel so beautiful :)
Yesterday was two weeks post op!
I've been feel great, just totally totally normal I'm happy to say! I'm very happy with my little boobs and so glad I didn't get a lift. Yes, they are saggy, but I also feel that that is natural looking. I just tried on a bathing suit in my new little size and it was actually nice not to see big, fake boobs popping out!
The last little bit of surgical glue flaked off last night so I decided to give this ScarAway stuff a try. I've read good reviews about it. It's a silicone bandaid like strip that you leave on for at least 12 hours (I left it on about 24 hours) and it's supposed to drastically improve scars in 8 weeks. I will post update pics once a week, so let's see how it goes!
3.5 weeks post op
I'm now over three weeks post op and feeling great! I honestly don't even feel like I had surgery weeks ago and I'm just so happy I went through with all of this. I'm really glad I didn't get a lift too, cause I'm coming to like my little saggy self! I feel like the little bit of sag just makes them feel soft and natural. They're definitely just a tiny little handful but I love them :) And I'm still nursing my daughter at bedtime and doing great! I've been using my Scar Away every day, some days just for 12 hours and sometimes for 24 hours. I like them so far! So here's my 3 week pics and my 1 week of using scar away pics!
Over 5 weeks out!
I haven't had a chance to update my review in a while and actually had to count on my calendar how mange weeks post op I am now. Can't believe it's 5.5 weeks already! I really am feeling great, lighter, happier and of course free! I ran for the first time since my surety on Monday and felt sooo great and light that I had my best run in a long time- I easily did 5 miles!! It felt so nice not to have those big hard weird things on my chest, tugging at me and weighing me down! I ran again last night and did 4 miles :) My little boobies look about the same and my scars are doing well, I keep using ScarAway for at least 12 hours a day and in between put Mederma on. I find that I'm standing tall, shoulders back and feeling confident in my natural form. I think it is a pretty noticeable difference in size, but luckily I have been able to jokingly say to friends and family that as I'm nursing my daughter less and less, my boobs are deflating! It seems like a believable story I think! I am still successfully nursing my baby before bed time and she does not seem bothered or effected by my small size. She does say "boo boo" and kisses my little bandaid-looking ScarAway strips every day though! I can absolutely say this was one of THE BEST things I have done for myself!!
8 weeks post op
I have been a terrible RealSelf member lately- I haven't posted an update in weeks! Well I am now over two months post op and feeling great. Part of me feels like I've always been this small chested, it just feels so good and so natural to be me again. I have been running a lot more, about 12+ miles per week and have never felt so good in my life! Running feels so good and so easy now that I am lighter (and flatter!) My breasts look pretty much the same as they did a few weeks ago I guess, maybe getting slightly less wrinkly looking. My incision scars are healing really nicely, the left a little more ahead of the right. I haven't really worn any bras with underwires yet, just shelf bra tank tops, coobie bras and sports bras. They just feel more comfortable right now! I bought a few different sized bras from VS to try on (but haven't been officially measured yet) and so far I think the 34A feels most comfy. One day when I have some free time I'll go get measured for real! I guess I haven't "fluffed" at all yet and I feel like I have very little breast tissue. In fact if I put my arms above my head you can kind of see my ribs right thru them! At least at the top and center of my chest. But honestly I really don't give a crap! I just feel soooo happy not to feel like I have to hunch my shoulders to hide those big fake boobs. It's a relief to have them gone, that's for sure!
Just over 8 weeks post op
(For some reason this pic didn't post!)
SIX months post op!!
12 Aug 2014
6 months post
Hey girls! It's been a million years since I've been on here and I haven't updated my post in a long time. I suppose I healed up after my surgery and then just went on with my life, little boobies and all! I feel like it was another life that I had my implants. I feel like these tiny little breasts have always been mine (and of course they have!) I still have some loose skin and very very faint stretch marks, but none of that bothers me. They're super tiny, probably smaller than before, but that doesn't bother me either. I'm happy, free and natural now and that's all I care about :) Of course I see women in movies and stuff with large beautiful full breasts and think "wow I would love it those were mine!" But they're not! God gave me little ones and I'm just trying to love them up as best I can. So here's my six months out pic, still looking the same to me but maybe over time they will actually fluff and "fill in" some more. I just want to say out there to all the women considering explanting, please think about how natural and free you will feel. No more "embarrassment" or "shame" for feeling you are not proportionate. If you can tell yourself you will love the real you, little boobies and all, then this surgery is right for you. It's the best thing I've ever done! I'm training for a half marathon on 9/7, my very first ever, and I just know there is no way I could have done this with those big hard huge things weighing me down! God bless you all, pre and post op, still deciding and those decided. So glad we are all here as one big group!