Ok for now. WHEW

I have waited over 20 years to get a BA and each...

I have waited over 20 years to get a BA and each time I came close my nerves caused me to back down. I have my pre-op this week and my surgery schedule on Sept 12. I am so nervous, I feel sick. I am so worried about causing myself more grief and something going wrong. I have had friends who have had their BA's for years now and all say they have no regrets. I know it's the lead up before the surgery, but did anyone else really freak out. Was anyone really scared about complications afterwards. Just need some support.

I am 45, mother of 3 boys and 32A going to 275 or 300cc (need to decide on Wed), 5'7 and 138lbs I am also concerned people at work will notice. Taking one week off, then going back.

Pre-op tomorrow and the countdown continues!

Okay, so today I am feeling better! I had a crazy moment and now feeling normal nervous. I am NOT reading anymore terrible posts. I trust my surgeon. He has done several friends of mine and is one of the best. He is a no non-sense surgeon and I know that I am in good hands. I am sure I will feel even better after my pre-op tomorrow and my questions are answered. I know that the info they give me will probably answer most of the questions that have been racing through my mind. Going to have some tea and get a good night sleep!

7 sleeps

Had my pre-op apt today and asked tons of questions and decided on size. When u try the gel inserts they feel so big as it's such a huge difference!
My concern is going to big but not going larger then regretting. I went down 25cc's and although it equates to two tablespoons it seemed like such a difference. I just don't want the tight round fake look. Now I just need to prepare and buy items. Went to find a sports bra tonight and that was depressing...they said two sizes larger but it was so hard as I fall out of the B size and the City was ridiculous! I left store empty handed and will try again on weekend. Soon Brand shopping will have a new meaning for me! This made me feel better about my surgery! If in doubt go bra shopping and that should fix your nerves. :)

Getting excited now

Today I was so content and resolved. It was a good day. Feel really good about the size I chose and type etc!
Going to attempt to find a sports bra tonight. Last night was depressing!!! Walmart was cleared out of most items as they have a big bra sale! Will go to the mall. I don't mind spending a bit more and may buy a maternity one or go to sports store. I just really wanted clip in front, but hard to find here in Canada! I am thinking of ordering on line, but it's getting down to the crunch and if it doesn't fit right I am screwed.
Oh...well wish me bra luck ;)

Found 6 Bra's now need to narrow them down

I bought six sports bra's last night and not sure which one will give me the best support. I have a friend coming over tonight and hope she can help me as I don't NEED six sports bra's!
I only found one sports Bra that does up in front, the rest do up in back :( Was hoping I could put bra's on by myself and change when I want ,but will get dh to help when I need a fresh one ;)
I am anxious to get thru the weekend and have the work week go fast until Thu morning where I will wake up with my new me ;)
It's so hard when you don't know what to expect, what your recovery will be like, when you will be mobile again, what the size will look like on your real body etc...
So surreal it seems!

Before shots

I want to remember what I looked like before. My left breast is smaller and kinda strange looking.

My choice and question TEXTURED vs SMOOTH?

I have decided on 250-275cc, Silicone, under muscle,moderate profile and now struggling with textured vs smooth.
I chose Silicone although more expensive b/c of how long they last and if you need to get replaced (saline shorter estimated life span), then your muscle under your breast is not as strong and more chance of bottom out next time around.
I personally did not want to go every 10-15 years or ever again if I could help it and Silicone's life span is 25 years.
It is more expensive, but you pay for what you get I believe :)
Now...anyone have thoughts on textured vs smooth??? I have to call Monday as now after reading I am leaning towards smooth.
Stupid me just wanted the same style as a friends without asking questions! My doctor said he could do that and did not explain benefits or downside to either ... so not sure what I should get.
I sure hope I can change my order on Monday for my surgery on Thu as I am leaning towards smooth..unless someone can provide me with insight on why get the Textured???
Buyer be where!

Textured Silicone recently anyone?

Has anyone had textured silicone under muscle put in recently? If so why did your PS recommend or why did you choose this type?

overthinking bra's that will be good for post op! back clips ok???

I have bought 6 bra's this week and returned three and bought three more. So far I think the champion's are the one's for me, but they only do up in the back :(
I found one that zips in front, but it's a D and just not sure if it will be too big.
Are the back do up ones ok??? I guess I will just need help with it and do you wear day and night ? for how long?
Really want a comfortable one, but that has great tight support. So hard to know what size. I am an AA and trying on C sizes (they told me to go two sizes up)!
Oh....and low and behold I have crept on on up to a 36 width! I am at the heaviest I have been in my life at 138 and can't wait to have this surgery as I will not want a fat ass taking away from my perfect boobs :) LOL

THREE SLEEPS! Nesting for my new babies :)

Ok, well I took out all my fall/winter clothes today and organized my closet and dresser as I know I won't be able to do this for a few weeks. Organized my night stand with med's, books/magazine's. Geeze, in a way I am NESTING for my new babies LOL
OH and BEST part, FOUND the perfect BRA's, but had to order on line. DANSKIN zipper in FRONT (YAY).They are scheduled to arrive day of surgery...but hope they come a day early. I have another one just in case (CHAMPION-very comfortable, but does up in back). I will be wearing these sports bra's for a few weeks, so I now have four great ones. Pretty excited about this!
So calling tomorrow about the textured thing and hoping I can change to smooth.
Heading to bed. My mind has been racing all weekend and I am so restless...
Now time is going to FLY!

Need to decide b/w textured or smooth by tomorrow a.m

OMG. I am overthinking again. Today I called PS and they said I could change to smooth, when I asked what was the PS preference the nurse said he uses both interchangabley. I asked why would I get textured over smoooth and she said the only difference is that smooth is softer (cohessive 1) and that textured is firmer (cohessive 2). Now without having them to touch, it's hard to tell. She felt that smooth is too soft (her preference would be firmer)...so here I am not knowing what to do. I said I would stick with Textured (going under muscle) and called as soon as I got home and left a crazy message, saying I want Smooth. I am OVER thinking and not getting good info on why I should choose one over the other....BREATH BREATH BREATH

Smooth it is

So I discussed with my nurse today and made my decision to go smooth based on my own research and I am very happy with this and all other factors surrounding my implants (size, shape, style and placement!).
The surgeon I have chosen is one of the best and trust his work, as I have seen his results. However I did feel like I was bothering them with my questions. I didn't realize how many I would have until I came across this site! I love this site, but it also has caused me some concerns that I initially did not have. On the other side, it has provided me with so much info that I was not getting from my PS office and really understand the process now.
Two sleeps left. I will get my call tomorrow for my surgery time.
LOVE the support this site offers! Thank you to all those that have responded and provided me with their insight. ;)

11 a.m. tomorrow and I will be on the other side!

Well this is it ladies. I am drinking my water and had a big lunch and will have a small snack later tonight. So glad I had an insane work week, kept my mind busy! My room is ready for my recover. My house is in order and I have nothing left to do but relax.
I just received Season 2 of Homeland yesterday, so that will be nice for when I feel better.
I also told my 16 year old what was going on...He was like "Ew! You are so old to do that, why are you doing this!?? Do you know it costs 10k ...blah blah blah" After his shock, I asked him to help his dad out with his two younger brothers and try to not give his dad teenage grief.
My conversation with my 9 and 6 year old was alot easier I said, "Ok guys, mommy is having a small surgery tomorrow on her belly and I will have to take it easy for a bit, remember when I had my other surgery? Well, it will be like that and you guys will have to be on your best behavior and help dad ok?"
My 9 year old asked if it was because his head was too big when he was born and they have to go and fix something. LOL My 6 year old said, " ok, can I have a bear paw?" hahaha
So there it is....HERE I GO. Will try to post tomorrow in my drugged up state!

Wow the day is here.

I have to say that I am surprisingly calm I was last night and debated taking a sleeping pill. My husband said he would take one if he was me and glad I did..slept well and woke up calm again. I think its the lead up for me and having too much time in my head.
My edginess will come back probably when i get there...but it will all go by very fast after that.
My allergies are really bad..sneezing alot! I will ask them if i can take allergy pills with the other meds.
Its funny my husband has been so apprehensive about this. I asked jim to say goodbye to his little friends this a.m. :) He said he liked jis friends just how they were and really liked my body as it is. I said will u will like it even more. I said you like fake boobs on other women and he said only on other women and not on my wife.
I said well u like my body as much as i do due to how i am with it...now watch how much more i will like it and then you will really like it. He said we'll see. I reminded him again i am doing this for me. I think he just wants to make sure that I know this is not what he wants and needs me to know that he was always happy with my original body.
He even made a comment about drawing even more attention to myself and how would i feel about that. I think he is worried about the other men checking me out.
I also think he is saving face and if something goes a miss he can say he was against this from the onset. But this is a presumption.
It would be neat if men wrote their story on here as their partners went thru this change.
Well off to get myself ready...going to enjoy a long hot shower as i know it will be awhile before i can linger in there.

On the other side finally!

Well here i am almost 10 hrs post up.
I went in for 11am and they were not ready for me. Good thing a peacefulness had come over me otherwise I would have been in serious panic mode! I did not go in until 1pm. As usual there is no time for your nerves once you get into the operating room. Seriousness you are under in less then 5 min's. They immediately put in an IV and administered something to calm my nerves. Then 2min later you are put under.
I was worried about how i would manage after coming out of surgery. When they woke me up i felt strangely incredible. I have been under three times before and always was a terrible mess and i mean terrible. I looked at my boobs and thought i should have listened to surgeon and went with 300cc's. They look smaller than i wanted. But not upset as its only a two tablespoon difference! I would rather be too small than to big :) i was also so concerned others would notice and i can easily put thus to rest. So VERY happy. Will post photos. The C bra fits perfect.
So after waking up i then i went to chair talk to the usual people. Surgeon easily gave me other prescription for pain. Its amazing! I HATE Oxycoden / Percocet.
Its called Tramadol and you take every 4hrs. In control of body, very aware and so calming.
I only had one downside and that was the nausea and vomited the tinniest sips of water. They gave me lots for his and for me and surgeries this is a normal side effect.i swallowed vomit as I had just taken my pain pill and it wanted to come back up i was determined not to be sick and in pain! Gross but true!
I can say day one is going better than i imagined. Not swollen but know there is tightness and pressure there and reminded of this at unexpected times so really going easy as i know day 3 (Saturday )will be rough. Not too swollen i hope as i don't want them to be smaller. Does anyone know if swelling comes later?
Alright obviously chatty, ecstatic and just wanted to share ever detail. :)
Just took my pain meds and off to slumber..but i am on such a high it will be hard.

Post Op day 1

First photo day of surgery

Post Op day 1

Side view

Day 2 post op

Well i struggled keeping the tiniest bit of water,soup down yesterday and threw up last at 3am. Very dizzy and queezy if i walk even a small distance. Also itchy like mad. I thought it was the anastetic coming out, but was told today by nurse it could be the pain meds...also the pain meds kept me up all night (literally all bleeping night!) .so tired but cant sleep, she said i could take an antihistamine, so will try that cut back to 1 instead of two. But rather vomit and go without sleep instead of being in lots of pain. My boobs are a bit more swollen today and hard. Sitting up i get a gorged sensation but so dizzy that i am mostly laying in bed. Other than that just feel high in a not so good way...but like i said no pressure or pain in either boob. Nipple sensation is mild in left and numb in right. I hope that changes! Well off to try to doze.

I could be addicted to my meds after two days lol

Day 2 has gone well. Just so tired. I am not in any pain and just want to make it until Sun which will be day 4. I lost it my husband when he said i could not have pain killers tmrw. I went from 2-1 pill today and going from 4-6 hrs and talked to him about tomorrow apparently being the worst day. He said of course it will be the worst b/c u stop taking the pain meds. I said why would i do that and he said well u r only supposed to take for three days. They don't want you to become addicted. I snapped and said i will take them until they are gone if i want and this is why i went down a pill. I was a bit over the top. He looked at me like i was an addict as i most likely sounded like one in my paniced state. It was too funny. Earlier when i did not want to to take a pill he stood over me and watched me swallow my pill and reminded me of those trying to go without and how bad ended for them. Geeze! LOL
Anyway have not thrown up and kept soup and water down today.
Boobs are looking really good and natural...wondering when they. Will be less perky and get softer. In there own time i know. Hopefully will sleep tonight and will stretch pills to 6hrs and tmrw will be my last and then i will see if the tylenol will be needed on Sunday.

Wow..was I mixed up. I am on DAY 2 not DAY 3

I was so mixed up and did not realize how the med's were affecting my mind. My husband kept telling me I was high (LOL). I thought I was so lucid the first few days. I had my surgery on Thu at 1 p.m. and yesterday was posting on here that I was closing Day 3. But today is only really day 2 for me post - op (not counting Thu as that was surgery day).
Ok...so I took Benadryl with the Tramdol last night and SLEPT! WOW...what sleep can do!! I thought it was the anesthetic making me so itchy, turns out this is a side effect of the pain killer. Either way. I SLEPT and feel amazing!!!
Extended my med time last night. Took a pill at 1 a.m. and then not another until 8 a.m. and got a real good feel of the pain the Tramdol was hiding. My boobs were rock hard and aching! I debated switching to Tylenol and then thought no way, why would I do that on Day 2! Now that I know it's Day 2. LOL
I am a big baby and scared of the pain. I only have so many pain pills left, so eventually will have to make the switch to Tylenol.
I am going to look up on youtube some massage techniques as I tried to touch this a.m. off the Tramdol and it was impossible. So while it's possible I would like to massage a bit. Any suggestions are welcome from those massaging already!
Anyhoo...here I am on DAY 2 ladies and feeling much more alert and better. Have not vomited since Friday at 3 a.m. I had soup and pretzels last night, then shared some of my husband's steak...WOW steak never tasted so good! I had not eaten any solids since Weds!Just had a bran muffin and cranberry juice and hoping to get myself moving so I don't get plugged up.
It's funny on this site...you show your breasts to strangers without thinking twice, discus vomiting and bowel movements without hesitation and bare it all literally! But this site is great for support and smiles. I look forward to the responses and everyone's updates. It's nice to know there are so many others that are about to go through this, gone through it or thinking about it out there etc.
Think I will go now and attempt to bath and change my bra. Will take some pictures topless later and post ;)
Day 2 is looking pretty good so far. Now I have to watch myself as I tend to get carried away as soon as I feel good and push it!

2 days after surgery

Bath was so nice. Good to be clean and change bra.

Day 2

Day 2

Day 2

First peek

So my husband was apprehensive to see me with my bra off. I was nervous b/c he was. I did not want to freak him out, but needed to look. Well it was not as bad as i thought it would be! I am a bit uneven and very swollen on right side, but someone posted on their wall that they did research and the dominant breast swells more and my right was the larger one. I am also right handed.
They are really really hard today. Are they supposed to be so hard? For how long?
Pushing pain meds today so i am close to the six hour mark and feeling the engorement and pressure on chest feeling others have mentioned. Also some sharp pain in left side now and then. I am going to try to reach 7-8 hours to see how it feels without the pain killer. My insane med pusher is out with boys at hockey. My husband has been taking such good care of me. I think he actually is enjoying it. How far we have come! :)
My 16 year old asked me last night how my surgery went (i had not seen him as he was working, school and had been in bed since)...and he told me it did not look like I had anything done. Yay! I was so worried about work colleagues noticing etc. I laughed and asked him if he thought i was getting Dolly Parton boobs...he said he had no idea but thought i was getting them BIG. So he felt better too.
Well off for a nap. Enjoying my down time as much as I can.

Officially DAY 3

Wow..where did time go? I feel like this happened to me sooo long ago and it's only been three freaken days! I took my pain killer last night with my anti-infection pill at 12:30 a.m. and then started to itch again like mad. I then decided to take two allergy pills and then I was a complete mess. I was so sick. I thought at one point last night I had lock jaw. I was so messed up.
Needless to say, I finally dozed off at 3 a.m. and soaked the bed with sweat, my hair was drenched, but boy did I feel better upon waking up. I needed to sweat it out.
My right seems to have dropped and soften, my left not so bad either. It's strange how they feel like they swell up at different times. I will feel like one side has dropped, then the other raises and swells and then they switch...Really weird. Like my milk is coming in one breast and I have nursed on the other feeling!
I decided when I woke up at 8 a.m. that THAT WAS IT for my pain pills. I took an Extra Strength Tylenol and have not taken one since! I feel FANTASTIC! I still have a half bottle of pain pills, but I am DONE with those!
Had a semi bath, washed and conditioned my hair...shaved my legs and I feel good! My husband changed the sheets (how I LOVE clean sheets).
I also tried on new bra's that arrived and they are too small. Danskin ones that zip up in front. I could hardly close them. They are a c size! Here I was so depressed bra shopping last week, thinking really am I going to fill up a C when they told me to buy two cup sizes larger. Now I am thinking I should have kept the D Danskin bra!
Oh, well...I still have the two champions and they are cozy. I prefer the back do up now that I tried to squeeze into the front zip up ones. The Champions also will hide them more for work until swelling goes down. I don't want to have too many sports bra's b/c I am going to go CRAZY with bra shopping once I am all settled! :)
Well going up to lay down now...but will post some pictures from my tablet shortly.
Happy EASY Sunday to all!

Day 3 shots

Nipple sensation

Needless to say i had a rush of sensation when I took off my bra today. To touch it is mild, but in deed feeling there. I was worried about this and am pretty happy that i have feeling in day three!

Not much change from day 2 to 3

Noticed that there is not much change visually in one day.

Day 3 took a turn

I was so upbeat this morning and then woke up from my long nap a mess. I woke up crying and feeling really sore and flu like. I took a tylenol and pain got better but still battling the blues. Really low and the only thing I can blame it in is coming off the Tramdol meds. Who knows. I get like this when exhausted and that I am.
Maybe I have cabin fever too. I am not used to staying still for so long and its getting to me. I also hate asking for help and feeling guilty that my husband has been doing so much . He has been great and the boys too..its just me being Debbie Downer today.
On a good note the slow tea worked and stomach is better....tomorrow will be better.

Day 3 Went out with a BANG! Hello Day 4

Well had a very rough night last night. The smooth tea, worked better than I needed it to, then had these terrible chills all night. I was so cold, sleeping with my head under my comforters and trying to steel all my husbands heat was not enough.
I soaked three pillows, had to sleep on towels and had a facecloth near me to wipe the sweat in my bra. Sooooo GROSS. My hair was drenched and I have crazy thick hair! It was like a tap poring water on me, just dripping all night long.
Took a bath this a.m. and had my husband change sheets and feel so much better...Just very weak. Washing my hair, bathing, changing took everything out of me. I am so weak. I have not had any Tylenol today. Last dose was at 9pm last night and it's now 10:20 a.m. I think my body is saying enough torture and it's trying to get rid of all the toxins. So far no pain and my boobs have soften slightly. Anxious for them to soften. They are so hard.
I can't complain as my recovery has been different from others as I have read and I am not in excruciating pain. Just fatigued easily and weak.
My boobs are really itchy. Will get some Bio Oil today.
Have the blues a bit today, but not as bad as yesterday. I think getting clean lifted my spirits for now.
Well happy healing to my friends on this journey with me.

DAY 5 Already!

Well, here I am post op DAY 5. Tomorrow I go for my first follow up apt since surgery and can't wait to get the tape off and have a good look at my scars.
Tried on a work shirt today and hooray, it buttons up and no one will be the wiser!
Did not sleep much last night, just could not get my mind to settle. Not thinking of anything in particular just could not drift off. Very frustrating. Thought of taking a sleeping pill or some melatonin, but really wanted to rid my body of all medication...
I have not had any Tylenol for two days. I went off my pain med's on Day 2, had extra strength Tylenol on Day 2 and stopped on Day 3.
I am happy to report, that I have not still had much pain. I feel for those that are really suffering and I did expect to go through the worst, but so grateful my challenge has been no where near what others have experienced.
I think the larger you go and they more they put under the muscle, may have something to do with your recovery.Who knows? I am just grateful.
I also know that after having three children, I have no stomach, so my skin is very elastic. I even had two c-sections and they cut through 7 layers of skin, so genetically I am blessed with skin that bounces back.
Today I realized the itching that I am having is an indication of stretching and could faintly see stretch marks. Going to get my Palmer's Coco Butter that I lathered on for each pregnancy and try to get a handle on that!!
Still tire out quickly. I just get winded coming down the stairs or making lunch and I also can feel bruising inside under rib cage. Like I have done kickboxing class or some wicked upper body exercise and next day pain feeling.
Oh well....no major complaints for week one. There is a voice inside of me that keeps telling me that something could go wrong so not to be too grateful. I am cautiously optimistic...but cautious is putting it mildly. Only time will tell.

6 Day Post Op Apt so so

Tape came off today and incisions look nasty. One side looks a bit butchered! Don't want my husband to see the bloody scars...I know he will be freaked / grossed out.
Breasts healing well, no need to massage. I can in a week, but to let them be.
Really really don't like the look of the scare on left breast. Does anyone know when I can start to use scar cream or have suggestions on how to take care of incision for best healing? Advice appreciated.
Upside tried on old bra's.and bikini tops and that was so much fun.
Added some shots. No difference in swelling/hardness yet.

Trying on bra's and bikini tops

One week officially post -op

Well still not liking the scars. The right is how i imagined it to be. The left however is another story. It looks like there is an opening or whole. I wish I could have seen it at my PS office as I would have asked why it was not straight like the other. Anyway have a look and let me know if it's in my mind and if scar cream with silicone will help.
My husband is now LOVING my new boobies and was t sting nipple sensitivity last night. That was fun :) (too much info lol) He was very apprehensive and does not like to see me in pain...but sees the difference now as they are not as rock hard and high as they were in first few days. I will keep scar from him as i don't want to freak him out just as he is feeling comfortable.
Soooo going to get my hair colored and cut now and venturing out alone for first time.
Check out the scars and let me know what you think ladies.

8 days-still need to remember to go a bit slower than norm

My right scar looks incredible! My left well it's puckered and strange looking but I tried the silicone cream today and I will just try to have patience with it.
My boobs dropped last night! They were jiggly a bit (noticeably jiggly and wiggly) and they felt much softer!!! I was so excited about that!
Today although they are softer still it is clear that my left has soften and dropped a tad more. They are swelling a bit due to over exerting myself the last two days, so will take it easy now...
I decided to get my hair colored dark yesterday and an inch cut off! That will now be the main difference on Monday when I am back to work!! My hair was light and now it's dark brown with auburn. I am having a harder time adjusting to the dark color than my scars LOL..Later that night my husband and I went for dinner and had some wine. That MERLOT was amazing! One thing great about being off meds...what a nice glass of red can do :)
Today went to return a Bra at the mall and ended up trying on tons of clothes for fall and buying three dresses and two nice blouses for work along with 5 pairs of earrings for work!
Plan to sit on my but now for the rest of the night. What a difference I feel in day 8 for energy, but still need to remember my body is still in healing mode and I don't want to push my luck too much. I have lots of luck so far.

Today is a good day!!! I FEEL GOOD!!!

Ok, I am going to say it OUT LOUD on here. I should have listen to my doctor and went to 300 cc's!!
However, I am grateful for the size I have and not going under just for the sake of a few tablespoons...Also I am so grateful for how smooth this transition has been for me. This has what has kept me away from doing this for 20 something years.
My heart goes out to those still struggling and I feel stupid griping about being tired easily etc.
I feel great today, and ready to start work Monday. I need to get back to some normalcy in my life!
Seriously impatient to start working out. I think I will take this off time to drop a few pounds by eating clean and watching portion sizes etc.
I think my husband may have made my boobs drop last night! LOL --- after a little round in the bedroom, they feel even softer and seem to have dropped? This happened immediately. I was a bit scared b/c we are supposed to take it easy...But I keep flashing my boobs as soon as we are alone. How I LOVE THEM and I must say MY HUSBAND who was sooooo worried about this...LOVES THEM as much as I do :) I keep using my bio oil in front of him and hanging out topless waiting for it to drive...I love watching him! Too funny. TMI as usual, but it is what it is...and I got them to enjoy them and THAT I am already doing!
Scars healing and I am not going to worry about the right let it heal...
Happy Saturday to all!

10 day photo shoot madness and one happy man!

Wow. Time has flown! Back to reality tomorrow and they crazy work pace, but I am so ready for it.
Started my Sunday with asking my hubby to take a few shots and ended up taking tons of photos. Needless to say we were back at it. He said what do you expect trying on every piece of lingerie . I asked for a lingerie spree for my bday in November, by then I can purchase some really nice bras etc.
Well off to enjoy my last day of the weekend. Very comfortable knowing work colleagues will notice even notice :)

A few more

I did say we took alot of shots. Loving my boobs!

First day back to work and no one noticed!

Well I had a busy, uneventful first day back to work 11 days post op! I now wish I had not even told two colleagues I am close to at work. I told them as I wanted support and now thinking one of them (who had a BA and who is much larger) will be sharing this info.
For those worrying if others will notice...well for my size (275), it was irrelevant. It is so suttle, that no one would ever guess that is what I had done. I was in one meeting with 20 people I have worked with at some point or anther and for some reason as fate would have it, I ran into almost every other possible colleague today and as the morning moved on, I even forgot about my BA!!! WOW. Not what I ever imagined going back to work. I was so fearful of others noticing.
Also helps that you are wearing a sports bra for first few weeks and of course I wore a baggier black blouse today.
It took me soooo freaken long to get ready for work. I forgot how much time everything takes. I am still having mini baths as I am trying so hard to keep incisions very very dry for speedier healing.
Day went by fast and went from meeting to meeting. The only thing I found hard was opening those dam doors!!! WOW, I never realized how heavy they all are! Ouch!
Boobs have not moved/softened anymore...still not as hard as first few days, but no difference for a few days now. Still anxious for them to drop and fluff...and now hoping to gain a size! Aren't I getting brave? Did I mention I LOVE MY BOOBS!

Bad day....need to pace myself at work, but schedule is not my own...

First day back did not go as well as I thought yesterday. Out of nowhere last night my right breast starting hurting like mad. I had to take my sports bra off and could not believe how swollen it was. I had to calm myself down as it was quite drastic. I have this voice in my head that I hush alot...it keeps telling me my recovery has been too good to be true.
Anyway, I rubbed my Arnica gel and laid down and listened to some relaxing music and tried hard to quiet my mind. I could not sleep and have a sleep problem that started before surgery and know I am exhausted. This morning I woke up still sore random not wanting to go to work, but I pulled it together and away I went.
Another insane day, back to back meetings, lots of chaos and then home for second shift with boys. Thankfully my husband took my youngest to swimming lessons...but did I relax? No why would I do that? I had my nine yr old vacuum as I moved furniture around, washed floors, did a bathroom and dusted after cleaning up from supper and now I am a mess!
I also feel like I am having mad PMS and my period is 3 weeks away! I usually clean like crazy when I am about to get my period..but on birth control so know it's not for three weeks.
I am going to force myself to take it easy tomorrow and skip some meetings and hide in my office when I can....just really down and having sharp pains in cleavage area and now I know what that zinger pain feels like. My rib cage under my incisions are hurting so bad I feel like someone has down a number immediately. I can't seem to bed or turn without making a noise or wincing.
I wasn't going to post as I have little good to say and know I have had a much better recovery than most on here so feel bad about being negative and complaining...but wanted those thinking of taking extra time off to just do it if able...and to recommend making sure you go slow when you get back to routine....and let the dust pile up.

Survived week 1.....left over funk still...but survived

Well I survived my first week back and it was not possible to slow down. I worked late twice and went back to back all week. It was such a hectic week and the pace has always been a challenge and keeping up with three boys at home. Jealous of those without children or older ones who can end work week and just go for dinner...come home crawl in pj's and zone out.
My mood is still not the best, so I did not want to post. I think I am just really tired and slowing down was a bit too nice LOL. My back seems to be killing me and I am waking up absolutely drenched! I am changing the sheets daily and putting my pillows outside to dry. I must still be recovering from the shock of surgery and meds....but I am really dripping at night. My underwear and bra and just drenched.
My boobs are softer and I can move them a bit, but they still seem the same and have not dropped much. I guess it's only week two, so little by little it goes.
I am getting braver and braver and not really thinking about hiding them at work. The other day I wore a shirt and got home and my husband asked me if anyone noticed as he said you could really tell in my blouse. I looked in the mirror and thought oops! Today I wore a tight t-shirt and as I was running in to pick up my 9 year old from a bday party with parents I see all the time....I did not even flinch. I am watching eyes to see if they even so much as drift down quickly hahaha...but b/c my difference is so subtle...no one really is noticing. Thank goodness for the sports bra which I am HATING sleeping in and wearing. I feel so restricted and it's no longer comfortable..but going on week three, so I will just be patient.
Happy Saturday to all!

Anyone else have night sweats after BA and itchiness?

I am so tired. I have been waking up at night soaking wet. My pillows, mattress, underwear and bra are drenched. I burn up and then get chills...not hot, but feel myself burning up and have to get a dry face cloth to wipe my breasts.
I also start to itch all over as soon as I start to relax and climb in bed.
Has anyone else had this at all?
I usually sweat like this when I am fighting something or stressed...so perhaps it's my body still healing and being back to work schedule?

Two weeks tomorrow and had to disclose the BA surgery to Gyno

Still not sleeping.Taking a sleeping pill tonight. Doing a food cleanse now and wanted to clear out my liver from surgery medication, but really need to sleep! Having night sweats still.
I am so tired of my breasts being hard and they have not seemed to have changed in last week or more. Also getting this random intense shots of pain, like stabbing pain. Anyone have this?
I HATE wearing this sports bra day and night....PS said at least 3-4 weeks and I wanted to go the longer period, so that leaves 3 more long weeks.
Went to gyno for follow up apt and she is the first "real" person I have had to announce this too. She is in early 40's and I just blurted it out at the end. By the way, I have to tell you something....she was great. Turned red and started to laugh and asked how the surgery went. She was happy to hear I had not had alot of pain, she said you always hear so much of the bad experiences and not enough of the good...so that was nice.
She is testing me for peri-menopause (which my family doctor thinks I started at 35). My system has been wonky since then. Also thought I was on BirthControl for almost three months and turns out I was on hormone therapy (Seasonix), but not enough estrogen. I was sure this was a birth control pill. Good thing my husband is fixed (so to speak)...I did some blood work and depending on results we will decide what is best to help my night sweats and mood.
THE JOYS of aging and I look and feel so young at 45, well at least I have nice boobs if I have a few years or longer before official menopause! LOL

4th week post op

I will post some pictures later...they are softer and I can jiggly them and massage without pain, but they still seem so round? I hope they will change. I have not lost much volume -- very happy about this. I definitely will have cleavage!
Questions: My PS did not give me much info and will call Monday...however when do most start to wear normal bra's? Is it after 4 weeks? Also, how long before you can soak in a tub?

Pictures 18 days post

Well I knew my right side had not dropped and was alot firmer than the other..but wow, you can really notice it in the pictures! Needless to say, I will be massaging this one more often.
We are planning on going away for my 45th (no kids!) and looming at a week all inclusive in three weeks or so, so hoping that my right evens out sooner than later.
I wonder if it is because I am right handed ?
Funny how I have morning boob now and did not have in beginning..also mine feel harder at night. Perhaps because I am so busy at home after work and weekends ...patience patience and more patience...

Really strange wave of pain across my uper chest a minute ago?

I just sat down to turn my computer off and I had this really intense sharp pain that went across my upper chest (by cleavage). Earlier while watching a movie, I was sitting slated and noticed that when I moved my right arm a certain way...my whole breast moved strangely. Not sure if this has anything to do with it.
It's gone now...but it was different from any other kind of pain. A bit of shortness of breath and then fine...lasted less than a minute.
Anyone have this?

One month post op today

Where did the month go? It feels like the surgery was so long ago and my size has changed so much since then. Ladies pls don't struggle over 25cc's as I did. It was a mere 2 tablespoons that kept me up before my BA and like the PS said...I would wish like the others that I went bigger and listened to his 300cc recommendation.
Don't misunderstand I am still very happy with my 275 and again not a big difference between the sizes....I just don't know if I will be a full B like I wanted. Need to wait longer they said for bra shopping.
Right side has dropped some and so glad about this. I also look so natural and happy they are not staying so round and dropping more and more.
It's funny how you don't prepare for the emotional side of this and the toll this roller coaster ride can take on you....you research all risks, worst case scenarios, sizes, styles and shapes etc...but not the emotional side of the change
Even though I have healed incredibly with luckily little pain, happy with my results...I did go thru some extreme high and lows....be prepared for this and be kind to yourself and know this is part if it all.....

Too soon for bra shopping :(

Went to try to find some bra's other than a sports bra today as I have the go ahead to wear non wire, but not to buy too many bra's until 2 month mark....and it was so hard to find nice no wire ones. I ended up with two bralettes that are nice, but not good for work. Tried on a sparkly bandeau (sp?) that was really nice, but not much to wear that with. I wanted a couple of t-shirt type bra's for work, but everywhere seemed to be sold out and the ones I tried were so so...I am a medium for bralettes and 36B for cup size, but felt that they were a bit too small and the C was way too big.....so back to being patient and hoping I can find some nice ones in a couple more weeks.

Incisions. 1 month post

Pucker has really smoothed out on my left side. Incisions still tender and right boob has dropped now. Not much pain, still that feeling of rush of blood and higher nipple sensitivity on right...getting softer daily.

More incision shots

Trying to get without shadow

Pictures without shirts on

For those wondering how I look with my clothes on..lol
See no big difference...i look small still

Wow..where did time go since Sep 12th

My breasts almost feel completely like my own. They are so soft and I am so happy with the size.
I went to Punta Cana for a week and loved wearing my bikini's! I had to buy new ones and trying on sizes was interesting. I can make my boobs look bigger if I want, but still don't like to feel too big and have not been brave enough to wear anything that really shows this effect. So play them down alot. :)
NO ONE at work even noticed, friends have not noticed, my children's friends parents have not noticed. MY MOM DID NOT NOTICE... She watched the boys and came up for a week and she is large C size and I have always been bitter that I did not get her genetics growing up....
My incisions are healing nicely. Still impatient with this and wish the the healing would happen faster!
My right side is still higher and my right nipple seems to point to the right, so hoping that this breasts gets on board with the other one. It is also firmer! My husband asked if they had the size wrong for this one as I had a slighly higher CC does in my left. My left was originally was smaller. But speaking of my husband, he is massaging and rubbing my boobs constantly. I mentioned that he really likes my breasts the other night as he was sooooo against this and he said he liked them before. Then I said well you did not rub them and offer to massage them like you do now! He laughed and said I was right and he loves them now too.
My nipple's are still erect as soon as I take my shirt off, but I was like that before. My right side is a bit more sensitive but nothing about my new breasts causes me grief or makes me regret my decision.
I wish I had listened to the doctor and gone a bit bigger, but that was how I felt since day one post op. I am happy with my size and a bit bigger would not have made much of a difference. I fretted over 25 extra cc's!
I also regret waiting 20 freaken years to do this!!!!!!!!!! For those considering. If you are going over pro's and con's and you have thought about this for more than two years...JUST DO IT! You will go over same scenario like I did for up to 20 years and perhaps always wonder....
Posting some pictures. Hope you are all doing well!!

TA DA! 3 MONTHS...is it REAL?

Well it's been three months that feels like three years. Yes after 8 week mark, you stop being so obsessed with this site and slowly but surely you actually forget all the lead up to your surgery and the other side stuff. I had a panic attack the other day, when my DARN right boob that is still a tad slow showed dark blue veins out of the blue! I had no clue what was going on. But this side continues to swell slightly and gives me reminders that....hang on these are NOT your real breasts...something has changed. Just when I have completely forgotten. Like a child and used to a stage...don't get too used to it, b/c they drop and fluff or ache a tad or all of a sudden they are soft and jiggling when you jog on spot, like I learnt at Curves the other day. I LOVE my breasts...they are MY breasts and really actually feel like they are MY BREASTs...until I get a little a jab of reality..but it is a small jolt. I am so disappointed that I waited so long and was so scared. I could have been dead by now at 45 freaken years old...and really am so grateful that this is something I stopped wondering about and just DID IT! Ladies who are reading this page and considering....SERIOUSLY...JUST DO IT! What I am saying is that for me...no regrets...I really am happy with size/shape and natural look...I will post pictures soon.

Shit! And every other swear word....6 months and bottoming out!

We'll this morning I noticed a slight change in my left side. It seemed slightly lower...I kept thinking my right was still so firm (that gave me grief not dropping). Right was always softer and came along much better. After doing my own self diagnosis and looking over and over on internet, I was able to confirm as my incision is now above fold. Fuck! Sorry. I am sooooo mad....my husband is going to freak if I have to go under knife again as he was so against this. I was loving my breasts and the thought if having to start all over is just crushing. I will have to take time off work again unexpectedly and unexplained.....trying to breath. Left a message with doctor office and will come back on tmrw. I will need support ...

Made an apt for Monday

I know I am bottoming out, when it happens you know. Defiantly my left has fallen and now feel the ripple/bumps ....trying to go thru all my concerns patiently....how bad can it get before my vacation in March? Can I wait until I am back for surgery..what will I do down south if it totally goes south...what if I have to have surgery quickly or before I go...what is my excuse for missing work? How will my recovery be this time..what happens if this happens again...what happens if I have problems with my other side..how often do I want to go under knife ....how much will it cost to fix bottoming out....anastegiologist and other fees...there will be a cost ...I know I am voicing all my worries out load and there is nothing I can do but push this out of my mind until Monday....then go from there...but this is easier said them done looking in mirror and in shower bathing....yes I am breathing....but things were going sooo well...this just sucks!

Ok for now! WHEW!!!

Doctor went well. Yes I have dropped a 1/4 inch on left and must not so push-up or plank type exercises....keep an eye on it..but he told me nothing is perfect and it's ok for now....so relieved and glad that I can breath....now wearing really good underwire bras and not going braless except at night ... He said this does not really matter if it is coming out of pocket it is what it is basically and sometimes the muscle just does not want to hold it....also reminding me I had a bit of asymmetry before.....so that's it for now...thanks for all your kindness , you know you can always come back on hear to share hear what you can't with others...I think my husband was more relieved than me.

Where did 2 years go and more and more still loving this decision!

Sorry I have not posted. You are on this site so much and like training wheels when you don't need the support you drop them and go on your own merrY way. But I forgot that I looked forward to posts so much and how much this page saved my sanity and there are newbies on here looking for support. Reading a 100 posts a day....and just looking for info, reassurance and someone pre and post op to support them....so here is my overdue update,
Life is great with my new look! I have settle in nicely. I am a size D and had a hard time accepting even trying in and buying this size as I always was going for full B and just really wanted natural...we'll I am 5'7 and I do have broad shoulders and let me tell you I feel perfect in size D. It is the visual look I wanted al along and I can't tell sizes if I thought B would have been nice. I am not huge and always thought size C and D were massive, but on my height and body type they are perfect.
My left side has always been a bit off and after surgery it had dropped a bit.my scar there looked funny from get go, but I'd did not help that I slept on my left side I think as no one told me to sleep on back...but I also think that they had more trouble getting that implant in as the scar was always harsher than my right.
Now there is some rippling and the scar is taking longer to disappear than other side. I had been back to the doctor, but not get major enough for me to want to go under again.
I have been back to working out and hot yoga, planks etc and no problems. My only problem now is raising my teen who is another blog in itself!
So all and all still sticking with best decision ever and at 46 I only wish I did this sooner.
They are very soft now and so natural and I never had to share this info unless I wanted to. Be careful who you do share with I had a close friend after too much wine blurt it out and almost jumped across the table to punch her.mlets just say we don't talk much anymore after a few words were exchanged. I should have known better.
But besides that no complaints, loving life as if they were always mine, but always amazed and happy as I prance around topless getting ready for work! Great feeling to have in your mid 40's I tell ya!
Will drop some shots after...off to hot yoga!
Ottawa Plastic Surgeon

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