I Removed My Breast Implants 7.5 Months After I Got Them (5 Months Post-Explant)

I've wanted implants since I was 16, so when I...

I've wanted implants since I was 16, so when I finally got the money for them at the age of 24 I was overjoyed. Finally, I wouldn't look like a teenage boy in a bikini at the pool anymore! I did a ton of research, or so I thought, and went ahead with the procedure at the end of December 2012. I had 350cc silicone implants placed under the muscle via a crease incision. From the moment I woke up from the procedure, I knew I had made a terrible mistake. I didn't understand how I could want something so much, then suddenly feel as though my life was ruined because of it. I hoped that I was only experiencing some post-surgery depression, but as time dragged on, it only got worse.

Fast forward almost 4 months, and I still cry on an almost daily basis. I think, "What have I done to myself? My body is ruined, and I'm still so young." I look at women with small breasts with envy. "Surely," I lament, "they have perfect, perky breasts that are not scarred, and their boyfriends still find them sexy." (Another issue I'm having is over what I have done to my boyfriend. He loved me the way I was, and I took that all away from him. How very selfish of me.) I have still not been able to resume exercising at the level I was prior to surgery because of the pain it causes. I used to run at least 15-20 miles a week, but now, running is too painful, even with two, very supportive sports bras. I can only make it maybe 2 miles, at most, before the top of my chest starts throbbing, then the sides start to burn. I can't even sleep comfortably. In addition to the discomfort, I suddenly realized what a lifetime commitment these things are. I don't want to have to put my life on hole in the future to fix my boobs! I want my future children to have a healthy mom!

I finally decided on implant removal about a month ago. Unfortunately, my PS thought I was still suffering from post-op depression and felt I would learn to like them. As a result, she refused to take them out. I had another appointment with her a week ago and she still refuses to schedule a removal date. Instead, she felt that because I was distraught over the initial procedure, I wouldn't be emotionally able to handle the initial look of my breasts post-removal and recommended I see a therapist prior to removal. While I understand that she may be trying to look out for my well-being, she is not the one that has to live with these things on a day-to-day basis. I am hoping that I will be able to convince her to schedule surgery soon as I have seen a therapist twice in order to comply with her request. Otherwise, I will find another surgeon.

I am scared about the outcome, but I am trying to be positive. I know that since I am young and have only had the implants in for a few months, my results should be decent. Further, since I am young and had perky boobs beforehand I have a lot of factors weighing in my favor. I just want them out so I can begin healing and get back to my normal life. I feel so foolish for letting vanity get the best of me and going ahead with the procedure in the first place. I just hope that I will eventually be able to put this all behind me and learn to embrace myself as God intended me to be.

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I had mine removed 2 months after. If you inbox me and I'll tell you what the difference is now.
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Don't feel alone in this crazy ride to get the implants out. I went to three PS, and contacted another half a dozen. I ended up back at the original PS! But it was not a smooth journey by a long shot. I had all different types of ideals of how it would be done, not to mention the price quotes from $800.00 to $10,000.00 not counting airfare & acomidations! I actually had a explant date with a PS & HE called & said he decided not to do it NO explanation. So I was back to square one. So I went back to the original PS for the second time in four months, and went with him. It actually saved me a couple G's & I didn't have to wonder if someone else would have a different style because it was his own work. Also getting a capsules out as would'nt have happened with others.So I think it is for the better as a whole. But the B.S. to get to this point took guts & mindful perseverance. Much prayer, countless hours, & this website with all the beautiful women whom have gone before us. Hang in there love your not alone.
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I never realized how infuriating doctors can be until now! They're so eager to put them in, but after they have your money they're done with you. How are you feeling now that you have them out? Would you say they look similar? Hope you're loving life after implants! =)

Called the PS's office again this morning. I've...

Called the PS's office again this morning. I've been told a total of 4 times now that the doctor will call me back. I understand she's busy, but I shouldn't have to wait over a week for a call back. The office staff sounds as though they are getting annoyed with me, but maybe if they would just listen to me and schedule my explant date, I would leave them alone.

On another note, today is my last day of grad school. It's something I've worked 25 years for, but I can't even enjoy it because once I walk out of class tonight, the only thing that will be on my mind is getting these implants removed. I could kick myself for doing this in the first place. If I hadn't been so vain, I could be enjoying life right now. Instead, I'm a shadow of my former self - these have made me so unhappy.

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Be happy with who you are. I understand your problem but you did not need surgery but since you had it then leave it alone for now, let some more time go bye and then remove them. I would never condone for my daughter to have it. Bad for health/risky too many surgeries, bad for emotions, bad for $$$, but that is only my opinion. The operation looks great; you have a nice outcome compared to other pictures. Any woman or man would like what they see, but I understand that you are not happy and that makes the world of difference to you. I still say, leave them on with time you will probably change your mind and eventually reduce them but not now, you are young. Just trying to help. Drs want $$$ so they will always go for what you want which ethically leaves a lot to say even though they will warn you and advice you but that is part of the game. You are confused, pardon for saying it, but for the third time you are young and later you will realize this, just giving advice I would give to my own daughter. I was looking through pictures for Rhinoplasty as my daughter has a minor nose bump from a spiked volleyball and could not help look at more pictures of face lifts, nose jobs, breast augmentations/reductions, tummy tucks, butt lifts, etc after reading some I had some time to comment. Best way to have what you want with your body... eat healthy, do plenty of exercise and love your own natural shape/face. Even other much much older women/men don't need it (after time if they don’t change their eating habits/exercise or turn back time there new surgical body will go back to how it was – seen it), bad for plastic surgery business but be happy with who you are! sounds old fashioned huh... just keep this in mind, beauty faces, a body will change, a face will change but the woman/man inside is what matters so stay healthy, you are what you eat. Insecurities or obsessions are what I consider the main reason for young and old to go under the knife. My two cents.
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My reasons for removal have nothing to do with how they look. Even if I was over the moon ecstatic about how they looked, I would still want them removed. The problem is the pain and discomfort I am having. There are three spots in particular that burn and throb without notice at all times of the day. I know that I cannot live with this discomfort, and that is why I want them removed.
Good luck and I hope they solve this discomfort and pain. Like me you like to get informed and research, keep doing that. Read the blogs of women that have done the explants... I would target the younger bloggers like yourself as older womens bodies will react differenly and psycologically too. Best of luck and hope for the best. If pain goes away (I know you have talked with your surgeon about it and he will make recommendations) then great... keep'em, risk of all else goes away at least for a long period of time.

Finally spoke with my doctor today. She told me to...

Finally spoke with my doctor today. She told me to call and schedule a pre-op appointment with her at which time we'll schedule the explant date. Excited that I finally am getting somewhere.

On another note, I went to a park today for a stroll and saw so many athletic looking women with small chests, and I thought they looked great. Can't wait to be one of them again!

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Golly she put you through a lot of worry. So happy for you to finally set Things up with your doc. Congratulations on your completion of Grad school. Be happy and enjoy your New life and set some goals. (Besides explantation :0)) God bless
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Congratulations!! You must feel so relieved!! If it helps at all, I'll put in my two cents as a psychologist--sounds like you have given much thought to this decision and know what is right for you, as a woman. I wish the best of luck with your PS--stand strong and get the damn bags out. :-)
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A good 2 cents of advice, worth a Million

Tried to call to schedule an appointment today, as...

Tried to call to schedule an appointment today, as directed, but wouldn't you know, the woman who schedules appointments doesn't work Friday. The doctor called yesterday after the office was closed, so now I have to wait until Monday. All I ever do is wait. To make matters worse, the doctor's last day is Monday before she heads off to a conference for a couple WEEKS! Meaning, I'll have to wait at least another month for removal. If she had just listened to me in the first place I could be nearly 2 months into post-explant recovery by now. Needless to say, I'm incredibly depressed. I thought I was much closer to removal, and everyday I have these is another reminder that I've ruined my body. Honestly, I'm not sure my relationship with my boyfriend will make it through another month of this hell.

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I felt exactly the same after surgery and got same reaction from my orig surgeon. New ps was way more informative and told me I was way too big! Thank goodness for compassionate doctors. I lived w them. They had pretty and grotesque features. I'm smaller more comfortable but still miss my A's. I want to be free again. I loved how shirts laid flat on me. Now I have to change how I dress even tho they smaller
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I just downsized from 459-300 and had I known how great I'd snap back I'd have done explant. I don't like the placement of your implants. You should seek a second opinion bc yours look like she dissected the pocket inferiorly. Idk I'm no expert but implant must be centered around nipple
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Just hang in there....think of this as a lesson in patience. You are young and haven't had your implants long enough for them to have a drastic change on how you will look. Most likely you will look like you did before BA. The body has an amazing ability to heal. I can tell how unhappy and anxious you are to put this behind you. You are so fornunate that you learned this early on and didn't spend years or decades before explanting. It saddens me that you didn't enjoy the positive milestone in your life. We are all here for you so please know that you are not alone and things will get better.
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I got a call from the doctor's office this...

I got a call from the doctor's office this morning, and scheduled my pre-op appointment for May 1st. I'm glad I at least have one date to look forward, but am worried it could be weeks later before I get my surgery date. (I'm not sure who I spoke to on Friday at the Dr.'s office, but she was under the impression the doctor would be out of town for a couple weeks - evidently that's not the case.)

On another note, I've been experiencing a lot more pain the usual to the left of my sternum -a constant, throbbing pain. I've always had issues with this area, but I'm not sure why it's suddenly getting worse. =( I can't wait to get these awful, grotesque things out of me. I just hope I can look semi-normal.

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Best of luck..I am having mine taken out May 1st! Thanks to all these wonderful Ladies, I am filled with hope and Courage! I too, have had the worst symptoms and only going down hill day by day. I am so hopeful for a positive outcome and to live life health again!
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Will the office let you tentatively pick a surgery date now so that you don't have to wait? Tell them you're ready and want to get in as soon as possible.
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I was just wondering if any of you ladies that...

I was just wondering if any of you ladies that have had an explant had issues with the crease being too low post-explant? I was comparing pre-BA and post-BA pictures earlier (and crying over how good I looked before, knowing that will never be the case again), and realized that my crease was lowered for my BA. I don't know if this is something that will correct itself after explant when the skin contracts, or if it is something that will need corrected during the explant surgery itself. I'm concerned that if it's not corrected, my post-explant will look saggier than what they actually are just because my breasts sit lower. =( Just another awful realization about what the BA did to my body. I feel so ugly I won't let my boyfriend touch me - and that's now, no telling how hideous I'll feel after explant.

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I can definitely tell today is going to be a bad...

I can definitely tell today is going to be a bad one, depression-wise. I don't know why, but I looked up the dictionary definition of "disfigure": "to spoil the attractiveness of". Yep, that's definitely what I feel I have done to myself. I'm disfigured, even with implants in I feel disfigured.

I'm considering ending my two-year relationship with my boyfriend over all this. He has been supportive - as supportive as a man can be when dealing with a very female-sensitive issue - but I feel absolutely hideous and don't want him to see the final result of what this process has done to me (i.e., post-explant). I wish I could have accepted myself as I was, but it's too late now. I'm stuck, at the very least, with these awful scars that make me feel like Frankenstein. When I really think about it, it's so barbaric - shoving gushy sacks into our chests to run around pretending we were born with bigger boobs. I hope that post-explant I'll be able to devote a lot of energy to improving myself and accepting myself, but right now I can't see the bright side of any of this.

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Both my boyfriend and mother have been trying to...

Both my boyfriend and mother have been trying to convince me to keep my implants today, which has only further served to upset me. I'm not sure of my boyfriend`s motivations, but my mother claims it's because she's afraid I'll hate my explant results so much that I'll never be happy. I told her to grab two 1.5lb sand bags, strap them to her chest, and then call me in four months to let me know how daily life has been. Keeping my implants is NOT an option; even if I liked the way they looked (HATE them: so round, waaay too big and now I look top heavy) I still can't do normal activities comfortably. I don't want to be like the women on here who have had their implants for 15 years and are now explanting because they finally realized they're never getting used to them. Further, the fear of waking up one day and realizing something is wrong with the implants is stressful and I don't want to deal with that. I wish my family and friends could just accept my decision and be supportive.

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Ai,girl,I know how you feel.These things have ruined my body and emotionaly i am a wreck.I am getting removed,but know this can not fix my depression,mariage aand lost time with my kids. This really was vanity insanity for me.
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I understand the value that we give our bodies, but ultimately that makes us shallow beings - superficial. Sad to hear these comments but ce la vie. Beuaty comes from inside, I know its a cliché. Best wishes to you and LuvMy.
My implants looked like yours! I also felt top heavy and just wanted them out.. I can relate to you because my mother also tried to convince me to keep them for fear that I would hate the result. I had decided though, and no matter the results, I felt like only going natural would put me in peace.. It all worked out fine :) you will look great since you havent had the implant for long.. and youre young! Be strong!
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I'm adding a more recent picture. You can see that...

I'm adding a more recent picture. You can see that my implants have bottomed out. This worries me because I'm afraid that my surgeon won't be able to fix the lowered crease line and therefore my post-explant breasts will look saggier than whatever they really are. =( Any one else have this problem, and what happened to your crease line? Was your surgeon able to raise it?

(On a side note, my surgeon told me when I first got them that I shouldn't be worried - at all - about bottoming out because my implants "weren't going anywhere.")

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I had another meeting with my surgeon today where...

I had another meeting with my surgeon today where I was finally able to schedule a time to be explanted. Unfortunately, that date isn't until June 4th. I can't imagine having to live with these for another month!! =*(

The procedure will be done under local sedation with a valium and percocet taken before surgery. I'll have to wear a compression bra for 3 weeks, and if no fluid or swelling occurs than I'll be clear to workout and wear regular bras if I want.

At the appointment, my doctor seemed irritated that I had so many questions, and didn't seem to have many answers that I thought she should have as a board certified surgeon. At this point, though, it would take a lot longer to switch surgeons, and she does seem to be talented with a scalpel. I'm just a little worried as she said she has not done many straight explants - revisions, yes, but not straight up removal. I also asked her about raising the inframammary fold and she didn't even look at my breasts (we were in a meeting room, not an exam room, so I was fully clothed) before telling me that she wasn't going to raise the fold because she "thought" that the skin would retract enough.

Everyday I kick myself over and over for getting this surgery in the first place. I had great boobs, small though they were, and I have ruined them forever. It's hard to enjoy things at the moment because I'm always thinking, "Last year at this time, I was still okay and unmarred," or, "I would be so much happier right now if I had my old body." It really is true that you don't know what you have until it's gone.

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Just read your posts and wanted to offer my support as well. I too regretted my implants shortly after surgery. I was sick with worry about what my breasts would look like and all the damage I had done. I thought for sure my boobs were destroyed, but the body has an AMAZING way of recovering and I am so much happier with them out. I would be lying if I said that I never looked longingly at other girls in the gym with their perky round breasts, but all I have to do is remind myself of how those heavy water bags felt inside me and in cured. :) Hang in there. You are going to recover just fine. Xoxo
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I agree with Texan - if you don't feel comfortable with this doctor your good sense is trying to tell you something. This is the rest of your life that we are talking about.
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Given that its a month away, it wouldn't hurt to get a second opinion if someone on this site has recommended one in your area, Luv. It's important that you're comfortable with the whole process.
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I tried calling a couple different surgeons for...

I tried calling a couple different surgeons for consults, but no one has any time to see me until mid-June (ridiculous!). Each day, as more and more issues pop up, I feel dumber and dumber for going through with this surgery in the first place. I could be unbelievably happy right now, enjoying the warm weather, but instead I'm suffering each and every day. I'll probably end up hating the way my boobs look afterward no matter who operates on them. I used to like to wear lingerie and cute things like that, and it's said to think that at the age of 24 I've officially ended my ability to wear those things and not look like a circus freak. I just can't believe I was that obsessed with looking good that I paid an exorbitant amount of money to have fake bags put in my chest. I guess this is karma or something.

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Everything you wrote here is spot on with how I have felt since I got my implants. I am about your age and everyday similar thoughts run through my head. I think about how I have ruined my body at such a young age, envying women with small breasts, and how I literally woke up and knew I had made a mistake, and how the guy I am seeing liked me before I had the surgery. I am also having similar issues with my PS. I'll probably explant closer to end of July. I hope everything works out for you in the end.
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With all due respect can't overstate that all this is a result of low self esteem and your bodies don't define who you are... you define who you are and the reason for wanting more or trying to fix nature is precisely that "low self esteem", "insecurities", "vanity", etc... yes nowadays its "allowed" for all women to excuse themselves with the status quo phrase "all women are vain in some degree" that is why this "mistakes" happen. Don't mean to be harsh but all young women and older women and grandma's are beautiful! Stop going under the knife and being vein and dragged by our consumer, material girl/boy society, you will be a lot happier. To shape your body you will need to change your diet and exercise with rigor and to change your attitude you will need to change your thoughts and friends/work, simple... well it depends on you. Good luck to you all from a dad that will give this same advice to his 14 year old daughter always until my last breath.
You have great nipples.
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Cancelling My Surgery Date, Finding a New Surgeon

So, after much thought, I've decided to cancel my scheduled explant and find a new surgeon. I just don't feel comfortable with her - I think she may only be in this profession for the money. With the problems I'm having (bottoming out, lowered inframmary fold), I think it's best that I find someone with more experience and who will agree to fix these things rather than "wait and see", which may result in more surgery down the road (no thanks). It was a hard decision to make as I just want these awful things out of me, and it only makes this whole ordeal last longer, but I want it done right the first time.

As for my boyfriend, he's been an angel. This has to be extraordinarily difficult for him, and my mood swings surely aren't a joy. We recently went to Florida with his family, and being in a swimsuit was definitely difficult for me. He did his best to make me feel better, and that's really all I can ask for at this point.

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Thank you for sharing I feel very similar.
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Hi do u have after photos ? I'm so worried that mine may sag after. :-(
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I haven't had them removed yet - probably won't until August now. However, I think based on my age and other factors, I have a pretty good chance of them looking okay. If you look at a couple users on here - "daintygirl", "wantmylittlesback", and "returnoftheflatchest", you'll see that some people have amazing results!

Found a Surgeon, I Think

I was recommended to a surgeon who practices about 2 hours away, still in my state, and after researching him thoroughly, I plan on calling Monday to schedule a consult. He specializes in breast reconstruction, which seems like a definite benefit given the fact that I feel my original PS butchered me. I hope I've finally found a surgeon and can ease my worrying a bit.

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Hello, I know exactly what are you going through . I had the same situation but I only had mines for 21/2 weeks i can tell that was the worse time in my life just like a nightmare . Thank god that my surgeon took them off, but he never told me to wear a compressor bra and now I'm dealing with something else but I know is less than before. Please get as much information as you can . At the end we are paying o them they are not doing us a favor . You doing good with your research I wish I had made a well research before the implantation and all that but I learned the hard way. I wish you the best just relax for the explantation day, don't think to much you almost there.
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From reading what you wrote I'm pretty sure you won't regret having them removed. Sometimes I don't get it, people are happy for you to be unhappy with your natural body and won't try and talk you out of a BA or implants, but if you hate the result they will try and talk you into staying with something you hate. I'm sure in your Mum's case she's just worried about the surgery itself and whether you will want to re implant, but no one can know that. You had very nice natural boobs, your nipples are petite and that looked fine with smaller ones, but I agree, the nipples look oddly placed now. I'm no expert and I don't know if that's 'bottoming out', but it definitely does look unusual. In summary; only you know how you feel, would you find it easier to be happy maybe feeling a touch too small than you might by feeling way too big? Only you can answer that. Good luck!
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Thank you for your support. I'm positive that getting them removed is the best option, I'd much rather be small and natural than big and fake (only wish I'd thought harder about that before).

Consult Tomorrow

I called the office of my possible new surgeon today and was surprised to find the doctor has an opening tomorrow for a consult. I guess he seemed concerned about the complications I've been having and wants to see me as soon as possible. The nurse I spoke with told me that the doctor generally spends about 3 hours - yes, HOURS - with his patients during a consult. That will definitely be a change from the 15 minutes or so I spent with my BA surgeon! The nurse also explained the process that their office goes through when sizing a BA patient (as I mentioned I thought mine were WAY too big), and that process is so much more about doing what's right for the patient and not about merely making money for the PS.

I wish I would have found this doctor first and maybe I wouldn't be in this mess to begin with. I'm definitely getting stressed dealing with all this, and I think it's beginning to affect me physically. I hope this doctor turns out to be the one and I can at least get a surgery date tomorrow. Fingers crossed.

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Yay! That's great news, LuvMy!! My fingers are crossed that you like this PS and have confidence in his ability to help you. Please let us know how it goes and good luck! Your natural breasts are very beautiful and soon you'll be back to that!
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Just thought I would chime in. In my humble opinion, your implants DO NOT look too big for you. Yes, they are a bit low, but perhaps a PS could suture the llower portion of the pocket pushing the implant higher. Also, if you do decide to explant you will look very much like you did pre-BA. You're young and you didn't go extremely large, your skin is more resilient than you may think. Check out the stories from the ladies in the Breast Explant forum, a lot of them look great afterwords.
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Try to keep yoursefl busy and thinking about other things... Thats what i did for 5 years...now that my surgery date is a month away, they bother me more than ever because i cant stop thinking about them finally coming out. Remember that sometimes we must learn the hard way, take it as a learning expeience. That's what I'm doing, i have 2 little girls, so this situation is helping me to teach them from a young age what is important and what's not and to always be true to themselve and never ever let anyone influence them into doing something thats not right. So dont stress yourself more, just think how lucky you are to be able to reverse this mistake and not have to live with it like a lot of other women do.
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I Found My Surgeon!

I had my consult today - it lasted a little over 2.5 hours, but the doctor was very thorough and I feel incredibly comfortable and confident in choosing him as my surgeon. Before he examined me, I met with him in his office and he said there was an option of just choosing smaller implants. However, after examining me, he said that his recommendation was complete removal, which is fine since that's what I was planning on doing anyway. He did confirm what I suspected, I have bottoming out - "severe" in his opinion.

The procedure he wants to perform will include a capsulectomy, reattachment of the muscle to the chest wall, and raising of the inframammary fold. He says he will probably not be able to raise the fold to where it was originally because my incisions are so low, and he does not want me to have to worry about them showing in a bikini. Additionally, he plans to create a new scar by removing the old one, which he believes is not healing properly (possibly, he said, due to the sheer weight of the implants). He also said that my nipples may not come down to their original location as they've been pushed up by the implant and apparently "healed" in a higher position, but that he hopes they'll come down a little when he reattaches the muscle to the chest wall. (I'm hoping for a better outcome than that, but I guess we'll see.)

Obviously, this will all be done under general anesthesia. He said I'll have drainage tubes (yuck) for about a week. The recovery time is definitely longer, but at least I'll be doing this right the first time in an effort to avoid any further surgeries down the road. The price is also higher, significantly so, but you can't bargain shop for things like these. The surgery won't be until August, so I'm hoping these next two months go quickly. Additionally, he recommended I cease running so as to prevent any worsening of the bottoming out. That will be hard, very hard, but I guess I'll have to get really good at the elliptical or stair climber in the time being.

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Dearest Love my natural self, I'm ready for you to get this done too. As we wait I will be praying for you sweetie. I will also be praying for your family to get on the support you train. If they don't-PLEASE DON'T DISPARE -WE ARE ALL HERE FOR YOU ALL THE WAY! So hang in there. If you need to talk private I'm here for you hon:-) Blonde
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Hang in there! I feel your pain. I had perky boobs before too. I never even thought about the scar. At least you've done a lot of research. I was under deep depression. I only had them 2.5 months.
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Who is your dr. ? I'm in Kansas city....I've had my silicone implants for 25 yrs.....MRI shows both are ruptured!
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This is going to be a LONG summer...

As we progress into summer, things are definitely getting more difficult. Not being in the shape I was in last summer is saddening. I'm also extremely afraid that something will go wrong during surgery and I'll end up with deformed breasts that will prevent me from ever being able to wear a bikini again. I hope I haven't ruined my chances of ever feeling sexy again. I'm still so angry at myself for getting the surgery in the first place.

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My dear friend let me tell you I been having the same feelings just like you, even though I am in my 30´s I am considering a removal too, thanks for sharing your experience everything will be fine
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Random, studying for the bar as well. Good luck!

Bikini after explant?

I'm worrying that after my explant my scars will show when I attempt to wear a bikini. My surgeon has said that he'll attempt to place my scars at a location where they won't show in a bikini, but obviously he can't make any guarantees. How have other girls on here who have had crease incisions dealt with hiding their scars in a bikini? And did anyone have scars that were below their crease? Just really worried over here, especially now that I'm seeing everyone running around in a bikini.... =\

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I ho
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Shhhh - sorry. Anyway, hope you are feeling less stressed and are enjoying your summer as much as possible considering the circumstances. Are you all set on a surgeon now? Re: bikinis - something that has a flat lower band (as opposed to tubular) will stay in place better. Tubular bands tend to roll around as you move and are more prone to 'flash' a low crease scar. Your scars probably won't show at all though. Hope you are doing well. X
I have picked my surgeon. =) I'm thinking early August for removal, but I just have to get the funds together, which shouldn't take too much longer. I still have rough days where I get mad/sad about having the surgery in the first place. I'm hoping the new scars heal well and fade quickly, especially since they'll be more noticeable with my smaller boobs. I know I'm going to have rough days once they're out, similar to what I had before I even got the initial BA, but I'm hoping therapy will help. Things would be so much easier if I could have just had some boobs! But such is life.

Finally Scheduled My Surgery!

Surgery has been scheduled for August 14th - less than two months away! Unfortunately, I still have so much to do before then - mainly, studying and taking the bar, eeek! I'm excited to get these out, and I finally have a countdown going. I feel good knowing that this Christmas I'll be back to my old self (hopefully), and everything will seem like a distant memory. =)

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Adding Photos

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Just checking in to see how you're doing! Excited you have a date set. Hopefully my ps will remove mine before the end of this month, but I won't know for sure until I meet with him next! Hope you're able to concentrate on the bar!
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The bar is coming up fast, so I haven't had much time to think about the surgery. However, I did have a sudden moment of intense panic last night (probably because I'm just so exhausted and it's taking its toll). I keep thinking the absolute worst is going to happen and I'm going to come out of this looking all deformed and have to spend the rest of my life alone because I'm so embarrassed about how I look. (I know, I know, the crazy things the mind makes you think, especially when you're tired.) I tried looking at pictures of the girls on here my age who look so fabulous post-explant, but none of them had the complications I've had (bottoming out, high nipples), and none of them had capsulectomies or drains, so I'm worried what my outcome really will be. Trying to stay focused on studying though. How are you doing dealing with everything? I'm so jealous that you may get yours out within the month yet! =)

Intense Moment of Panic Last Night

I don't why, but I suddenly had a very intense moment of panic last night when thinking about my post-explant looks. I know I won't look exactly how I did before - too much has been done - but I'm afraid I won't be able to accept the way I look at all. I know that if that happens I'll find it very difficult to maintain any kind of normal relationship.

I tried to calm myself by looking at the post-op photos of women my age who look so fabulous, but none of them have had all the problems that I have (bottoming out, high nipples, having to correct a lowered IMF). I'm terrified that something may go wrong. I'm also concerned my scars won't heal properly. I've seen women on here who have developed hypertrophic or keloid scars, and I would be devastated if that happened.

Well, back to studying. I'm hoping I can just get through these next couple of weeks, and then the stress will be greatly lessened.

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I just noticed your date is coming up! Good luck ... I had a doctor tell me he couldn't raise my fold too. I don't get it.
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Yep, less than two weeks now! I just finished taking the bar, so now that I don't have that mess to occupy my thoughts I'm getting a bit nervous. I think I need to take up a hobby for the next week and a half or something lol. I'm trying to stay positive and hoping for the best, but I'm definitely scared my "new" boobs are going to look horrendous compared to the "old" ones. Guess we'll have to wait and see!
I don´t think your babies will look horrendous, Despite you had implants for a longer period than me ( I only had them for two months, over the muscle, bigger than yours and I am older than you ). Afterwards I´m looking very similar. Don´t worry about that, your breasts are going to look gorgeous sweetie.)

Less Than 2 Weeks!

The bar is over - thank God - and now I can focus on getting ready for my surgery which is less than two weeks away now! I'm getting excited to get these awful bags out, but I'm scared of how I'll look and for some reason that's prevented me from planning very far beyond the surgery. Meaning, I can't get excited for any events, like a wedding I have in October. I think, "Will I even be able to go? Or will my boobs like so horrible that I'll just want to hide away in my house?" Ugh, I just wish time would speed up so I get this all over with!

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Oh girl! Of course you will go to the wedding in October! You weren't planning on popping out of a big cake topless, were you? Lol. Seriously, you are going to look gorgeous and be just fine! And I am sure the bride at this wedding will appreciate not having to compete with your implants for attention on her big day, if anything the explant is going to make dressing up for an event more fun. You can always pad & add boob for certain outfits, but if you have implants you are very limited in how to minimize or dress them for different types of occasions. With your natural small boobs, the fashion world is your oyster (something I wish I would have realized when I was in my 20s!) - you can go braless, strapless, backless, anything! Plus there are now so many "chicken cutlet" inserts, adhesive bras, better push-up bras etc etc that you can add as much cleavage as you need depending on your outfit. Big boobs are limiting, this is something my natural big-boob friends told me (plus they warned me about being uncomfortable, back & neck strain, bouncing, etc) and I never believed it until I got implants! You are going to be back to your natural, beautiful self in no time so just keep taking it one day at a time :) p.s. congrats on taking the bar - now your explant comes soon, you are going to feel so awesome to get rid of all those stressors and enjoy your life!
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Haha, your cake comment literally had me laughing out loud! I think my main concern about going is thinking about all the other girls there who don't have scars on their boobs and look just fine. Plus, I'm still concerned I'm going to come out lopsided on the other end. =/ Definitely getting anxious, but you and all other girls on here are definitely a help and I honestly think I would have gone insane and jumped off a bridge a long time ago if it wasn't for you guys! Hugs!
I just explanted and let me tell you how awesome it is to know that what I have is all me! It's a very confident feeling knowing I can love myself with what God blessed me with...natural IS beautiful! You arae beautiful just how you were made. Wear your natural girls with pride when you get them back! :O) Those that care what breast size you have shouldn't matter...and those who you matter to won't care what breast size you have ;) Best wishes on your journey!
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Huge Freak Out Moment

Last night, I had a huge freak out moment that turned into a panic attack. My boyfriend tried to console me, but I ended up just crying myself to sleep. I'm so scared of what I'm going to look like and have convinced myself something is going to wrong, whether it's me not waking up at all from the surgery or ending up lopsided for the rest of my life. I also am so, so, so angry at myself for putting these scars on my body. I know people say they fade, but they're called scars for a reason: they're permanent. I'm just so scared and I don't know what to do to calm myself.

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You are so close now!! Hang in there, things are going to feel so much better soon. :)
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We have all been there, your honesty touches me. Take some deep breaths wrap your arms around yourself and remember we are more than our boobs or what we did to them. Forgive and let go of what no longer serves you...Take care xoxo
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Four Days!

Well, my surgery is just four days away now. In fact, 96 hours from now I'll be sitting in a hotel bed recovering - implant free! However, I'm BEYOND SCARED about how my breasts are going to look in the end. I have made peace with the scars, but it's the look of the breasts themselves that has consumed me. I wouldn't be worried much at all if I didn't have to deal with this whole bottoming-out deal. I just have gotten it into my mind that because there's so much extra skin below the nipple that it'll never retract properly and will look all wonky for the rest of my life. Looking at pictures of other explanters has stopped helping me since most don't have the complications I have had.

I don't know that I'll ever truly forgive myself for getting implants in the first place...

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I feel exactly the same as you. What if I never forgive myself? What if my breasts still consume my thoughts after removal? What if I'm still not happy? It's terrifying! But we have a lot in our favor. And that helps me get through those scary thoughts. I look at a lot of women on here who've had them for years, breast fed, up sized and down sized and still look great after removal. That helps me too! We just have to be brave before surgery and patient after. I'm excited for you. Please update as soon as you can after! I want to hear from you before I go under next Monday.
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I think you'll be pleasantly surprised hun. Honestly, you'll look and feel so much better once they're out. The relief is truly a great feeling. I had a lot of con's against me compared to pro's but it really is amazing how the body bounces back. You have good skin elasticity and you haven't had them in for long. You're nearly there and we're all here for you x
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I really would like to do something for you sweetie, I know what your saying, I am Also wondering if I Will forgive myself, I know your going to be okay, you Will bounce back, you,ll see it. Blessings
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The Closer It Gets, The More Terrified I Am

I don't know if it's because surgery is just three days away, but I'm having more and more panic attacks as of late. I took a picture of my boobs as one final "before" shot, and while looking at it I was unable to see how my boobs could ever return to normal. I just wish I could turn back time so badly.

I think that once this is all over, despite knowing that implants are not for me, summer and "bikini time" will be even harder than before implants. I know I'll be concerned about whether or not my scars are showing, or whether my boobs look "normal" in my bikini top.

I know people keep saying that my skin is good and that I have time with implants and age in my favor, but I do have the bottoming out that no one else my age has had (at least to the extent I do). I'm petrified that when my surgeon removes my bandages at my checkup the day after surgery, I'll look down to see nothing but sagging skin and/or uneven creases. I wish this was all a dream I could wake up from.

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I'll be thinking of you on the 14th! Try to keep in mind how they look the day you get your bandages off isn't necessarily how they'll always look. I've seen some amazing changes from day 1 post op to further down the road post op! We're here for you!

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Surgery Tomorrow!!

Tomorrow is the day! Finally! Needless to say, I'm scared shitless. I keep thinking of all the things that could possibly go wrong, all the complications. I've even convinced myself there's a high probability that I won't even wake up from surgery. I just wish I could fast forward 8 months and be healed and happy again. God help me tomorrow...

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Sending you love! Release all worry you have done your body good. Xxxttb
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I'll be thinking of you all morning! Soo excited, for both of us, we're almost in the clear. Your going to look great once everything is all settled and healed :)
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Good luck tmr girl. i am going to have mine explant soon,well i'm only 4 weeks post ops so maybe in another 3 weeks. Please keep in touch !
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They're Out!

Just returned from surgery. Got to the center at 8, and left about 4. The surgery itself took longer than planned, tho not sure why. I spoke with my PS prior to surgery and he didn't really make me feel like I was going to have a great outcome, but part of me thinks he just didn't want to get my hopes up. I'm still optimistic for a good outcome. On the bright side, my PS said it's a possibility I may get my drains out tomorrow instead of Tuesday as there isn't much fluid. He also said there's a chance I may be even be able to get back to running sooner than he thought!

I haven't been able to take a peek yet as I'm very tightly bandaged. I imagine I'll get a glimpse tomorrow during my follow-up. Needless to say, I'm incredibly happy they're out, but only time will tell how they're going to look. :-)

(P.S. Sorry for any ramblings, incoherencies or typos - I'm still loopy from the drugs.)

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I hope you are getting lots of rest and TLC from your loved ones. Most of all, take good care of yourself, with no more regrets about this "mistake", only looking forward to what a bright and successful future you have ahead! You are a beautiful girl inside and out, don't doubt that.
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Congratulations. You've done it. Well done. Just take things easy now, those drugs made me loopy too. Remember what you see tomorrow or when the bandages come off isn't your final result. They improve and keep improving with time. I was told the worst too and had many things going against me. And The first day was hard, . But I can honestly say, with improvements I'm feeling good and so much better natural. Keep strong. Look forward to hearing from you when you're up to it x
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Mission accomplished for the physical aspect of it, now the mental and attitude... all will be well, no worries and you shouldn't be fixating too much on it. Just do your thing and before you know it, it will all be a thing of the past. They are out you will feel more natural and that is the bottom line.
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Day After Surgery

I had my follow-up visit with my PS this morning. Unfortunately, he didn't remove the drains as he thought he may be able to do. It's not that there was really any fluid in them, but he wants to keep them so they act as a vacuum to close down the pocket where the implant used to be. I also was unable to see what my breasts currently look like as my PS had me lay down while he inspected everything, then wrapped me tightly back up before I could see anything. I can, however, see a bit of my left nipple and it seems to be perfectly fine, and I see no wrinkled skin nearby. I also asked the surgeon if my boobs were now saggy, and he said not at all, so that was nice to hear.

As for the bad news, my PS was unable to bring my muscle all the way back down to where it used to be, so he says it is unlikely I'll ever fully regain the strength in those muscles. Additionally, he wants me to wait 6 weeks before I start running again rather than just 4 weeks. =( However, he says I may start lower body cardio (stationary bike, elliptical) as early as next week, as long as I keep my arms and chest out of it. One thing I found a bit rude was when I asked him whether my breasts would look "normal" again he said no because there are scars and boobs with scars are not normal. (Could have answered that in a better way, I thought.) The scars, he said, are currently in the crease, but that could change if healing causes the creases to raise even farther up, though he says he's hopeful that will not happen.

Well, I have until Tuesday before I get these awful drains out. They itch and they're sore at times. Fortunately, I'm hopped up on a variety of pain pills, antibiotics, and muscle relaxers so I'm getting some good rest. I'm hoping to post pictures on Tuesday if I'm feeling confident enough. For now, it's off to relax!

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Best wishes in your recovery. Your doctor sounds amazing...What was the price of your explant?
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It was pretty pricey, more than my implant actually. In all total it was a little over $9,100. I'm hoping it was all worth it in the end!
Congratulations, you have been very brave to do what you considered was better for you regardless of what other people might think! please keep us posted on your recovery! best wishes!!!
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2 Days Post-Op; Noticed a "Dent" at the Bottom of My Left Breast

I've been able to take a peek beneath the bandages of my left breast, and I've noticed that there is an indentation underneath my nipple on the right side. I'm terrified that this is permanent. I know that I'm wrapped pretty tightly and there's still loose skin, but I really didn't expect it to look like this at all. I'm panicking that I may be deformed forever with a "dent" on my boob for all eternity. To make it worse, I haven't seen any ladies on here with the same kind of indentation that I'm dealing with. I truly hope I made the right decision and that I won't have to re-implant in the future just to look "normal". =*(

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Try not to worry - mine are still changing after 12 months and my PS said they will continue to change and improve over the next 6 to 12 months. The human body is amazing. try to be patient and while you're not looking, they'll be healing themselves x
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Its really difficult to stay calm and not panick. Be kind to yourself and give yourself time. After any operation, the body goes into shock, and in time things gradually bounce back. It is amazing how they'll improve over the coming days and weeks even. Take it easy and be proud of yourself for coming this far. Love Rosey x
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I know the dent sucks, or better yet this whole thing sucks :) lol. But we really won't know the final results until 6 months. You have to be fair to yourself, I know it's hard not to freak out. But you will be okay!! Promise!
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5 Days Post-Op

I was very excited to get my implants removed, but now I'm thinking I made a mistake because of this new dent that is now a part of my boobs, at least the left one. I know I still have the drains in (they come out tomorrow), but I've not seen any woman on here with dents like I have. It's even more frustrating considering the fact that everyone told me since I had all the factors on my side - age, skin elasticity, size of and time with implants - but I look like a 60 year old who had a thousand complications. I truly feel that I've destroyed my body for life. If the dents don't go away, I'm definitely either re-implanting or getting a fat graft....I can't live looking like this.

In other news, I broke up with my boyfriend because I know I could never let anyone see me like this. He deserves someone who he can have sex with, obviously. He always was a boob man, so I can't expect him to ever find such deformed boobs attractive. I don't know if I'll ever feel comfortable to be in a relationship again. Perhaps I'm destined to be a spinster (though with dogs, not cats). I miss the old me, but I know she's sadly gone forever and it's all my fault.

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Sweetheart! You are being so hard on yourself! You've done your body a great justice by removing those things (and if the boyfriend goes with them, then so be it! He's not the right man for you!). You are only two days post op and the body is incredible . . . but not in the space of just two days!! You are barely over the general anaesthetic, which may also be a reason why you are feeling so emotional. Please be kind to yourself and believe that the improvements you are going to experience will be way beyond your expectations. "whether you think you can, or you think you can't - you're right" Henry Ford. So think your body is amazing, your breasts will fluff, the dent will disappear and a new amazing boyfriend will come and love the wonderful you, just the way you are . . .and you'll be right! Hugs and love, M xxx
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Sad to read you feel that way... let time do the healing. Nothing in this world works well when rushed... good things come for those who wait - says the phrase. Sad to hear you broke up with boyfriend, that is vein... if he loves you he should be the one to have the say not you... apparently you love/loved him. Hard to come around good people now days. Hope you pick up yourself and c'mon you are yound and beautiful... this thoughts don't help you with being beautiful inside which is what matters the most in life.
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Hey sweetie, let me share some of my story. I'm 77, had implants over 40 yrs, had explant and lift on May 14th, my boobs looked horrible with swelling, both draining for over a month, dents, scars looked horrible....but my PS is one of the best, and he reassured me of what my outcome would look like on about a year. That's how long it Takes for healing and changes to occur. I am 3 months post op and I See changes on a weekly basis. STOP over reacting to your surgery. Have patience with your body, you are youn g and healthy and it will show improvements weekly maybe Dailey... Don't ruin your life by making harsh decisions about your Love life. .. Give him the respect for him not being vain like you. Now young lady, be good to yourself, eat healthy and love your body and beautify yourself with fancy new bras and lingerie .z Good luck and God bless you. Talk to Jesus and ask for strength. Lv and hugz. Angelface1
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FINALLY Some Good News!

I went to my PS today to have my drains removed. Unfortunately, he only removed 2 of the 4 so I have to return next week to get the remaining two out. On the bright side, he side my "dents" will fluff over the course of a few months and what I'm feeling is the internal stitching he did when he reattached the muscle. So thank the Lord I'm not deformed. I almost cried with relief in his office. I finally get to take a real shower tomorrow morning, too, no more sponge baths! I'm attaching pictures as well. Sorry if they're a bit grainy, my phone isn't the greatest.

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Awese results! So much better. You made the right choice. :)
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You are my new inspiration! You look great!
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Awesome !! You did it girl! You look BEAUTIFUL , hugs to you, I Was really concerned about your outcome, thanks God, he is great.
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Do Things Get Worse Before They Get Better?

Today I noticed that my "dent" is more prominent before, so it's hard for me to keep faith that it will eventually fill in as my PS told me. He has never been one to give false hope, so I truly hope he's right. Also, I noticed my left nipple is now a bit concave. I never had that problem until now. I am wearing a different bra now, a bit of a tighter one, but somehow I don't think that would make such a difference. I just really hate that I did this to myself. I want to heal quickly and get back to running and be in shape again. I hate feeling so pudgy. I used to pride myself on being in prime physical condition. It was a part of me, and without it I feel like I've lost a huge chunk of myself.

On another note, the support of everyone on this forum has been amazing. I don't know where I would be without it. I have made some friends on here that are truly there for me, even if all I know of them is their first name and surgery date. I thank all of you for your kind comments and words of advice, they really do mean the world to me. =)

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Your bewbs are going to be okay!! Sorry the dent is continuing to taunt you, but you chose a good ps, so you gotta trust the man!! :) I am equally greatfull for you and our little boobie freindship!! Now, "shimmy" towards me with the salsa!!!
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Bahahaha! I guess the dent is useful for something! =)
Thank you, but I'm still really scared about the dent. It looked worse today, plus my left nipple is now concave. =( I'm trying to keep faith, but it is hard some days. Your post-op pics give me inspiration though. You look fabulous for all your boobies went through, and they changed drastically from day one. I'm hoping my healing process goes as well as yours. =)

Better Picture of the "Dent"

Took a better picture of the dent that I thought I'd share.

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P.S. I hope I didn't offend you by saying Flatsy. I am happily an A - Cup. I have learnt to genuinely love my small boobies. They are Grand and your's will be too.
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And P.S. You look really really good. You had a good surgeon. That is how I looked straight up. Every week, then every month just gets better. Yo Behold to beautiful small healthy chests which will still be perky in 20 years. And all natural too. xx
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Oh Hone, I feel for you. The trauma you have been and are going through. Not to mention the expense. I went through almost the same experience as you. I had them in 3 months and had them out. My PS who put them in was so mean to me because he wanted me to keep them in. Anyway he did take them out but made me see a psychologist and never saw me post-op. I couldn't believe it. No respect. He called me a trouble-maker from interstate. I live in Australia. Just googled him on the internet and noticed his wife has just purchased a 16 million dollar mansion earlier this year on Sydney Harbour. All I ever saw him for was 15 mins. It is now 9 months post-op and I look great. Still got little scars. One scar is a little lower than the fold but I try not to obsess about it. It is my battle scar. I will find someone who will love me for me and I am sure he won't be perfect. It has been a hard spiritual lesson for me. I completely understand how you felt. I knew from day 1 I had made a mistake. Every day gets better. The only advice I can give is not to look in the mirror too often. Try and distract yourself from obsessing. The healing is slow. It took 6 months but everything bounced back. It does take a while. Try to be patient my love. Don't push your boyfriend away if you really do love him and you think he is the one. But if he isn't let him go. I am flatsy too but boobs aren't everything. Men love a pretty face, a nice smile and a kind, caring personality. You will still have a beautiful chest in a few months and then you can put all this behind you and be healthy and never have to worry about all the complications that could happen. It has been a hard lesson for both of us. Take car & happy healing. Much Love xxx
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Having a Bad Day

I really, really hate that I ever did this to myself. I hate that not only am I stuck forever with a flat chest, but that now I'm stuck with a deformed flat chest. There really are no redeeming qualities to it now. I used to be pleased with the shape and perkiness of them, the only problem I had was the size. Now they're scarred and misshapen and it's my fault. I don't know that I'll ever feel attractive again, and some days I do just want to break up with my boyfriend and be alone forever. He could easily have whoever he wanted, so why would he want to stay with someone who has deformed boobs? Especially when he is an admitted "boob man." I doubt I'll ever forgive myself for doing this.

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Hi Cberlioz, I just read some of your previous posts. I do believe you genuinely offering support to another. It's just with your last posting it was way too harsh that's all. I think you will be forgiven.
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Hi LMNS, It will be great to get those drains out. They are such a pain. Just give things time. You looked great before and you will again. They will eventually go back to almost exacly the same as before. It did take me 6 months but I love and appreciate my old boobies - size a (padded b). I have a couple of little scars I am not too thrilled about but they get better every week. I am building up my self-esteem. I now feel I no longer will be ashamed to tell a man that "yere I had implants and yere I didn't like em because they felt horrible in my body and I would need more unnecessary surgeries in my life. So I took them out and here are the scars to prove it. If you don't like me for who I am then off you go because I am happy with my small healthy boobs." It is a spiritual journey we took. We weren't meant to have big boobs. I think that little dent will fluff out eventually. What about trying some gentle massage in a couple of weeks. That's what I done at about 3 weeks post-op. Just gentle to start with. I think it helped with the shape actually. There are lots of u-tubes on how to do it. It also helps you to reacquaint with your body and learn to love your body. I done it for 15 mins/twice day for a few weeks.I used one of those breast creams for a few weeks as well. This is not an ad so I won't say which one. I don't know if the cream helped but I believe it did. You could use any cream though. It is an emotional ride. Keep us posted so we can support you. xxx
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Hi cberlioz, I never realized you were a male. I am not sure if the other people knew. Now I understand by the tone of your email. That is you sound like a male. That is the way a male would talk. OK then, because if it came from a female then it did sound very harsh. It's the whole "Men are from Mars thing" I haven't read your previous postings sorry. If you have a 15 yo daughter then it is good that you are aware of the pressure females in society feel in these times and hopefully you can help her with esteem issues she may invariably face wether it be boobs or something else. Carpe Diem.
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Drains Out Today

FINALLY removed the remaining two drains today after having them for almost two weeks. I feel a lot better being able to dress in "normal" clothes, not having to hide the drains. However, I still don't like what I see in the mirror, but I'm hoping for a good outcome eventually. My PS seemed positive.

I've been cleared to drive and began working out my lower body, but I'll have to wait until week 6 to start running. I can't do upper body or ab workouts until 8-12 weeks out. It's frustrating because I just want to be back in shape, and I could be right now if I had never made the insane decision to get implants in the first place.

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I just wanna say... XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO Major group hug to all my ladies who have explanted! Ladies, Mrs. Angelina Jolie had to have her breasts removed. We are beautiful for our character...not what we look like. We must be here for those who love us; kids, boyfriends, husbands, mothers, fathers. Stay strong my ladies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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2 Weeks to the Day

I finally got up the courage to show my boyfriend what I'm working with now. He said that they "look nice, especially for only 2 weeks out." I don't know if he's telling the truth or not, but if definitely makes me feel better that he doesn't think I look like a monster. Plus, things can only get better from here.

Adding 2 week post-op pictures as well.

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You look FABULOUS!!!! That dent is going away!! I can hardly see it at 2 weeks!
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Very Worried...

I'm having a bit of a rough night. I'm very worried that because my crease was lowered, I bottomed-out, and then had my creases raised, I'll forever be restricted in my exercise regimen in order to avoid the creases falling back down again. Really, I'm just worried in general about the creases falling back down. My PS said the chances of that are minimal as long as I follow his orders, and I have been trying to take it easy, but it's hard not to overdo certain things.

Just wish I could be all healed and back to normal. Seeing a picture of commercial of any in-shape woman makes me extraordinarily depressed, and sometimes I just burst out crying because of it. I used to be one of them, and now I'm just a pudgy girl with weird boobs. Awesome.

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You are looking great!!
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You have a wee PM from me in your inbox :o) x
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I know what you mean, seeing other women/comparing it's hard. I have not watched tv or even gone on youtube without knowing the subject I was going to watch prior to eliminate feeling crappy. And I don't see that changing. I don't think I'll ever consume regular media without being forced to (movies with boyfriends/friends/family etc) And even then I'll likely tune most of it out. The media frenzzyyy of big, perfect, unmarked, kept women is insane. It's not realistic, it's not real. Real women have a few stretch marks, saggy boobs or boobs that will eventually sag, a little cellulite, bad hair days, bruises, maybe a few scars from a c-section or an appendectomy, or thyroid removal... the list goes on! And as far as your crease go, try not to stress too much, I bottomed out hard towards the end, and my creases were way lower with my fakes, and I haven't had any issues, I don't think you should have problems. There is no pressure on them, like a big olee implant lol, you should be just fine! And you may think you've gotten 'pudgy' but we all have gotten soft from sitting around crying about our boobs. You can easily be in shape once again, especially since you were in such great shape before!! I know it's tough, none of us asked for any of this, and it's not fair as it seems we are being punished forever for some silly choice soo many women make every year and are 'sooo happy' with. And maybe not today, or tomorrow, but they're will be a time where we're all much more healed, and don't think about our boobs so much, or feel so bad about everything. Our bodies are only temporary. Your boobs were going to change at some point surgery or not. You will be okay, just try and be nicer to yourself, your boobies and body have been through a lot!! xxx
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Question

So I'm a little over 3 weeks post-explant, and I've been experiencing a dull, throbbing pain underneath the crease of my right breast. I plan on calling my PS, but I was just wondering if anyone has had a similar experience. I did have my creases raised, so I don't know if it's just the nerves fixing themselves, but I figured that would be more of a sharp, tingling pain. I'm kind of concerned that I may have done something to mess things up on the inside.

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Hang in there! It is so hard when you have to have "extra work" done :/ My left side had a lumpectomy in addition to the explant and it bothered me for months longer than my right. I had a lot of weird sensations, burning, etc internally on the left where there were dissolving stitches inside. I imagine your crease repair involved a lot of internal stitches too, and those do feel uncomfortable as the dissolve. So sorry for your ordeal :( Things will take some extra time for you because of the extra repairs, so you will need extra patience -- but you will heal! Already that "dent" has had so much improvement. You are still a gorgeous girl, and I think your recovery is just beginning. Keep your positive thinking, it's so important and will take you through all the hard times in life. Xoxo
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Aww! I feel you on the odd pain! I get it only in my right beast as well! I think its because over all, our right breasts need more fixing in terms of nerve regeneration, there is less blood flow on that side of the body. -- Which is why most women loose sensation in their right and not their left (heart is on the left). I don't think you did anything to mess your boobs up lol. xxx
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Hey there, I had lots of sharp tingley sensations after explant from what I understand it was the breast tissue recovering knitting back together. I occasional still get the odd tingle. X
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Bad Day Again

I know it was a bad idea, but I've been looking at breast augmentation reviews. I'm not jealous of the fact that they have implants, just the fact that they have bigger boobs. I'm not loving my post-explant looks. They look and feel smaller than pre-BA, and I'm actually heavier than I was then, so one would think they would be a little larger. I showed my boyfriend my post-explant looks once, but not since then, and I feel as though my dent has stopped healing as I've not seen any changes recently, so that definitely makes things worse.

Further, my boyfriend has me hooked on Boardwalk Empire now. It's a good show, but there is tons of nudity, mainly large boobs. They all appear real, which makes me feel worse. It's like I'm the only one my size with a tiny chest, which I know isn't true, but I do feel like I'm in the minority. As a result, I'm having a hard time letting my boyfriend touch me at all. I just wish I'd never had a BA at all...

2 Comments

Come on, girl!! Hang in there! Not everyone on Boardwalks' Empire has huge boobs, Elizabeth certainly doesn't and she looks amazing. Cheer up! Your boyfriend is trying to take your mind off of your boobs, and I think he's doing the right thing. Try not to think about them at all. I know it's hard, especially if that's you've been doing for the last few months, but DO try. By the way, big boobs do make most women look older and heavier. Don't even think of reimplanting again!!! One day you will want a baby, imagine how much good you'll do for your little one by breastfeeding her with REAL breasts. Mind is probably the best healer and the best thing for you to do is to get distracted from your body. Go to the mirror, smile to yourself and say "I'm beautiful". Because you are. And hey, your boobs do look pretty good for only 3 weeks post-op. And they WILL get prettier. Go find someone who needs help, help them out and stop concentrating on your body. I got my implants out yesterday, and I know they will look ugly for at least 3 months. So what? They will get better and I'll be pretty again without all that extra weight. Cheer up!
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I'm feeling you on the bad days. I'm having them myself. It's so hard. I wish I never did this at all either. You know what happened when I showed my lover my post-explant boobs. Not good. It's hard to find encouraging words to give others when I have none to give myself. But all I can try to tell you is to just hang in there. Know that you're not alone. We should keep improving. No way this is our final result, right? Plastic surgeons all over RS say at LEAST 3 months. We don't even have a full month under our belts yet. Things should get better. They have to!!!
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1 Month Post-Explant

It's September 14th, the implants have officially been gone for a full month! Despite not being in love with what I see in the mirror, I still in no way regret removing my implants (just getting them in the first place)! I've added photos - the left breast with the dent is actually the right breast in the photo, for comparison purposes. I don't see much improvement in the dent since week 2, but my boyfriend claims he doesn't even notice it. (I think he may just be saying that because he knows how sensitive I am, but who knows.) Hoping for more improvements over the next few months!

4 Comments

Wow! I want your results, I've been looking at your pictures and you look so good, such a big difference from first few days to 1mth please dont forget to update us, it is woman like you who gives us the courage to go ahead and explant :)
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Looks like great results! I hope mine bounce back as well.
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All I can say is...WOW! You look FANTASTIC! I can only see the dent in the hunched over pic. I can't see it in any of the others. And I agree with tinaham. You do look like you've really filled out!! I'm so jealous! And your side pics wow. You don't have a dip nor are you completely flat above the nipple. You got some of that upper fullness back... Which is what I'm waiting on! Jealous! You're so gorgeous! That dent will go away I just know it. It has improved so much already! Sending you the measuring instructions in a PM too btw. Didnt forget :-)
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Appointment with My Surgeon

I had a follow-up visit with my PS the other day. I was cleared to start running this coming Wednesday, but he wants me to wear an underwire sports bra for at least a year. Ick. I purchased one today, and they're not very comfortable. On top of that, I couldn't find one that didn't hit a bit too high, so I hope it's still okay. I may try running with two regular sports bras instead. I was also told to wear a regular bra as much as possible to help with the shaping as they heal. This has me a bit worried that wearing a sports bra is somehow detrimental to their final shape.

I was feeling excited about being able to run again, and was even feeling a little more confident. Unfortunately that all changed today. My boyfriend is off at a bachelor party for his best friend, and before he left we were talking about strip clubs. (I have a rule: if you go, no lap dances.) Anyway, he mentioned that he didn't want to go to any strip clubs around here because they're restricted to wearing g-strings and pasties. Meaning, he would prefer to go to a strip club where they can be completely nude. I know he's a typical guy, but it just makes me feel like I'm not enough. Especially now when my boobs are all wonky and misshapen. I just want my old boobs back like crazy, and I hate waking up everyday to this reality. I've never felt more unattractive in my life.

14 Comments

Did your dr move your crease?? Mine refuses a lift but I want what you had done..I am 21 and I definitely don't want to look ugly. No dr will do a lift on me!! :(
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I have 310&320 cc for a year...dr said im thinned out and won't like my results. Suggests new implants over a lift...calling today to see how he could just help me. He's not caring to make me pretty. I have such damn awful esteem :( I want to feel beautiful..I feel like I'm forever ruined. This has been the worst year of my life!
Hey girl how is the progress coming?
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2 Months Post-Explant

It's been two months, and I'm noticing improvements weekly. I'm back to running, and it feels great. I still have some "surgery weight" to lose, but I'm hopeful I'll be back in shape by summertime. I'm wearing regular bras during the day, and sports bras to sleep in at night. I have to wear a bra at night until at least six months, and no push-up bras on a regular basis until 1 year post-op. =( My boyfriend has been pretty supportive through all of this, and currently claims that my boobs look like they did before minus the scars. I don't know if I believe him, but it's still nice to hear.

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Hi, I'm new to this site and I hope that you are really enjoying the new you. You look wonderful. I got mine 13 years ago and I am ready to get them out and not look back. I, like you were am scared that I have botched up my body and wish I had never done this to myself. But...we did and I'm thankful for this site and people like you that have posted the before and afters and have confirmed that your body can go back to looking just as great as before. Thanks for your inspiration.
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You look great! Glad you're back to running :)
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Yes, my doctor did lift my crease up to be even with the scars. I believe my "new" creases are a smidge lower than my old, but I don't think it looks awful. I would definitely look for a doctor who specializes in explants and/or reconstruction. It may take longer to get the surgery, but it'll be worth it in the end.

5 Months Post-Op

Well, it's been five months now - the surgery itself seems like a lifetime ago. I'm still not happy with my boobs, and I don't think I ever will be. I think I could have come to love my old, pre-BA boobs, but obviously that's moot now. My left boob still has remnants of the dent, and I no longer notice any improvements. I'm a bit depressed over the whole situation because I really thought I had a good shot of the dent disappearing completely based on what my doctor said. I still have a slight bit of hope that the dent will disappear by the year mark, but it's fading rapidly.

I used to be decently comfortable with how I looked, minus my boobs, but now, after the surgery and subsequent minor weight gain, I'm almost ashamed of how I look. I try to tell myself that it could be worse, but then a voice always pops up and says, "Yes, but it could be better, too, if you hadn't had to have implants in the first place!" I used to feel somewhat invincible before my BA, too, but now I feel fragile. I hate it.

Fingers crossed that at my year update the dent will be invisible!

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Hi, you boobs look great at 5 months, so you will be 8 months now? How is it going? Just wondering how the scar experiment went, silicone strips or maderma? Hope all is well xxx
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I still have issues at 8 months out, but I recently started therapy in an effort to get over this whole mess. I'm hopeful it'll at least get me to feel somewhat comfortable in my "new" body. As for the scar treatment, I like the scar strips best. I found the Mederma left a weird residue by the end of the day - not sure if it was from my bra rubbing or what. So I've been doing the strips at night and a Vitamin E capsule in the morning. I did just hear about Mederma PM - I may try that and see if it helps avoid the icky residue. I hope your explant goes smoothly!
Seriously, you breasts at 5 months look really fine, like other people have commented that are a good shape. Once the scars are faded to a nice white line, which apparently can take up to 18 months, a pain but at least it happens in the end, you'll hardly ever know there was anything other than your natural breasts. So you had your fold moved up due the bottoming out, was this a major thing? This probably contributed to the dent I imagine, but you really can't see it, paticuarly in the last photo. How is all looking now? And thank you for the scar info, I'm going to go with the surgeon's advice and use the taping, I've done a fair bit of research on it now and it seems to be the gold standard for all surgical scars, he says at least 3 months, I'm the sort of person who will do it for at least 6 months just incase! Keep posting, and try and stay positive, when you are low you see things differently to how everyone else sees them (trust me, I've been there more than once and received therapy), I believe this is what is happening now as you pic at 5 months looks good. XXX

Eight Months Out

It's been eight months since my explant and I've stopped noticing any improvements in the dent, which has been a major bummer. Today, for some reason, has been an especially rough day. I'm finding it hard to stay motivated to work out because I think that no matter what the rest of me looks like, I still have these wonky, scarred boobs. I'm hoping that the therapy I've recently started will help me deal with all these negative thoughts and emotions, but I know it will take awhile.
I have lots of days where I think "what if", which I know isn't the healthiest but I can't help it. I still can't help but be disgusted when I look in the mirror, and I don't think that will ever change. I'm also incredibly angry that my whole implant experience turned out like this when millions of them are so successful.
I wish this post could have been optimistic, but I'd be lying if I said I was happy with how all of this has turned out.

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Also, I read how you were sad about your scars. Mine are going to look terrible too as I don't scar well and have very thin pale skin. Just a thought, if they annoy you that much maybe get cute little tattoos to cover them up? I have a not so cute tattoo under my breast that I had done ten years ago. It's ugly but it covers up the scar lol. Maybe if I fill it in with color will look better.
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Hi Janna 1. I empathise with you. I had mine in for 3 months. 325 under the muscle. The main reason I had them out was because they hurt so damn much. Even almost 2 years later my chest muscle never feels strong like it did. My boobies look pretty much the same albeit a bit bigger because they have been stretched and I stretch marks at the sides and they are a bit droopier. They aren't as pert now just more squashed and kind of flattened out. Without a 5000 word essay my pre and post consultation was atrocious. I had about 10 minutes with the surgeon on one occasion and the surgery the next day. I pushed him to do it quickly because he was out of town and I had to squeeze into my holidays. I am a nurse and I don't don't feel breast implants work as my job is too physical. I really fell I was not properly informed. Yes I am an RN and should know better but I never researched it. Sounds ridiculous I know. I should have known better but I was naïve. I do not believe I was adequately informed even though I signed about 10 pages of consent forms. I am angry because I feel weak in my chest muscles and feel I will never have the strength. Yes it feels weird when I sneeze and even when I have an orgasm (sorry for that but is true). This plastic surgeon just bought himself a 16 million dollar mansion and I am out of pocket for almost 20,000 including the removal. I don't want to sound like a spoilt brat but does anyone think I have the right to sue for a 15 minute consultation in the fitting room and then the surgery the next day. I didn't even sit down in his office. His nurses done most of the work. Post op he was too busy to see me. I was naïve to Plastic Surgery thinking all doctors are out to help not for their personal gain. Any thoughts? I feel I was vulnerable and he clearly saw dollar signs?
I had mine done 11 weeks ago. I made an appointment with my surgeon to discuss removing them. Appt is one week away....I hope he takes me seriously and I hope to god it doesn't cost me a lot to have them removed so soon after... I keep thinking maybe I'll learn to love them and I'll get used to them but I just don't see that happening... My boobs were nothing special prior to surgery... They look sort of okay now with the implants, especially in clothes, but I can't get over how gross and firm they feel and the muscle distorts them when I yawn or move my arms the wrong way. Dumbest decision of my life. I know in your last update it seems like you're unhappy with ex planting... How are you feeling now? Are things okay? They look nice in the pictures :) Do they feel different now than they did pre-implant? If anything through all of this I think I will have learnt the most expensive lesson of my life in loving myself. Scared too that I'll regret ex planting... But scared if I don't explant soon then they won't snap back to normal. I know the skin has stretched a lot though...
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Worst Summer Ever

I've always had issues with summer - if I wasn't intensely aware of how inadequate my body appears during the other seasons, summer makes sure to remind me, A LOT. After spending the fourth around a lot of water, and therefore swimsuits, I have never before in my life felt so horrible about the way I look. Thus, I am now seriously considering re-implanting. I have been in therapy for three months now and have seen near zero improvement, so I don't know what other option I have. I cannot live with them the way they are, I simply cannot. I have been researching doctors for awhile now, knowing re-implantation was likely, and hope to make an appointment for a first consult within the next few weeks.

25 Comments

When is your new BA date?
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I'm still debating. I have two doctors that I want to consult with, though they're both out of town so I'll need to wait until next year when I have vacation days again. The thought of more surgery definitely frightens me though.
I think they look good! They still look perky and everything and you can't even see the dent in the most recent pictures! Remember breast implants have their imperfections too even if you did get surgery again... And I'm almost positive you won't get any complaints about them the way they are now from men! If you need a boost in a bathing suit or clothes just wear some extra padded bras and bikinis. No harm in that! Try to be happy! I don't think the cost and healing time for a whole other surgery is worth it plus all the risks! But just my opinion! Anyway you know what's best for you and you'll know what to do! Good luck!
Cleveland Plastic Surgeon

I wish I would found Dr. Dowden prior to getting my BA and I wouldn't have been in this mess in the first place. Dr. Dowden is a former head of breast reconstruction at Cleveland Clinic, and patients from all over the nation travel to see him. At my first consult, he was truly concerned about how I felt and never made me feel crazy or ashamed for wanting my implants out so soon. He even talked me through what he normally does for patients who are asking for implants so I could compare the type of care I got from my original surgeon (Dr. Dowden is so much more thorough and cares deeply about how plastic surgery affects the lives of his patients.) My consult with him lasted 2.5 hours because he wanted to make sure I completely understood all risks before I made a final decision. Prior to surgery, he came into my room and spoke with my mother and I for about 30 minutes, answering any last minute questions we had, and explaining what he planned to do during surgery. He called around 7:00 that night to check on me, and then at midnight. I had a follow-up at 7:30 am the next morning, and another 6 days after surgery I'll be meeting with him to remove the drains. His office staff was so very nice, and always made sure I felt completely comfortable. They answered any questions I had, no matter how ridiculous they probably were, and always made me feel like I was their top priority. The nurses at the surgery center were also very caring, and incredibly friendly. They also had nothing but positive things to say about Dr. Dowden, both in reference to his skills and working with him.

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