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Worst Summer Ever

I've always had issues with summer - if I wasn't intensely aware of how inadequate my body appears during the other seasons, summer makes sure to remind me, A LOT. After spending the fourth around a lot of water, and therefore swimsuits, I have never before in my life felt so horrible about the way I look. Thus, I am now seriously considering re-implanting. I have been in therapy for three months now and have seen near zero improvement, so I don't know what other option I have. I cannot live with them the way they are, I simply cannot. I have been researching doctors for awhile now, knowing re-implantation was likely, and hope to make an appointment for a first consult within the next few weeks.

Eight Months Out

It's been eight months since my explant and I've stopped noticing any improvements in the dent, which has been a major bummer. Today, for some reason, has been an especially rough day. I'm finding it hard to stay motivated to work out because I think that no matter what the rest of me looks like, I still have these wonky, scarred boobs. I'm hoping that the therapy I've recently started will help me deal with all these negative thoughts and emotions, but I know it will take awhile.
I have lots of days where I think "what if", which I know isn't the healthiest but I can't help it. I still can't help but be disgusted when I look in the mirror, and I don't think that will ever change. I'm also incredibly angry that my whole implant experience turned out like this when millions of them are so successful.
I wish this post could have been optimistic, but I'd be lying if I said I was happy with how all of this has turned out.

5 Months Post-Op

Well, it's been five months now - the surgery itself seems like a lifetime ago. I'm still not happy with my boobs, and I don't think I ever will be. I think I could have come to love my old, pre-BA boobs, but obviously that's moot now. My left boob still has remnants of the dent, and I no longer notice any improvements. I'm a bit depressed over the whole situation because I really thought I had a good shot of the dent disappearing completely based on what my doctor said. I still have a slight bit of hope that the dent will disappear by the year mark, but it's fading rapidly.

I used to be decently comfortable with how I looked, minus my boobs, but now, after the surgery and subsequent minor weight gain, I'm almost ashamed of how I look. I try to tell myself that it could be worse, but then a voice always pops up and says, "Yes, but it could be better, too, if you hadn't had to have implants in the first place!" I used to feel somewhat invincible before my BA, too, but now I feel fragile. I hate it.

Fingers crossed that at my year update the dent will be invisible!

Provider Review

Board Certified Plastic Surgeon
6770 Mayfield Road, Cleveland, Ohio
Overall rating
Doctor's bedside manner
Answered my questions
After care follow-up
Time spent with me
Phone or email responsiveness
Staff professionalism & courtesy
Payment process
Wait times

I wish I would found Dr. Dowden prior to getting my BA and I wouldn't have been in this mess in the first place. Dr. Dowden is a former head of breast reconstruction at Cleveland Clinic, and patients from all over the nation travel to see him. At my first consult, he was truly concerned about how I felt and never made me feel crazy or ashamed for wanting my implants out so soon. He even talked me through what he normally does for patients who are asking for implants so I could compare the type of care I got from my original surgeon (Dr. Dowden is so much more thorough and cares deeply about how plastic surgery affects the lives of his patients.) My consult with him lasted 2.5 hours because he wanted to make sure I completely understood all risks before I made a final decision. Prior to surgery, he came into my room and spoke with my mother and I for about 30 minutes, answering any last minute questions we had, and explaining what he planned to do during surgery. He called around 7:00 that night to check on me, and then at midnight. I had a follow-up at 7:30 am the next morning, and another 6 days after surgery I'll be meeting with him to remove the drains. His office staff was so very nice, and always made sure I felt completely comfortable. They answered any questions I had, no matter how ridiculous they probably were, and always made me feel like I was their top priority. The nurses at the surgery center were also very caring, and incredibly friendly. They also had nothing but positive things to say about Dr. Dowden, both in reference to his skills and working with him.