9mos post op MM

Wanted to join the community to share my pre and...

Wanted to join the community to share my pre and post surgery experience so that it may help others when determining whether this is right for them or not. I want to say that I am soooo happy with the doctor I chose! I felt comfortable with him the moment I met him. This should be the #1 reason why you chose your doctor. I mean you will be seeing him many times after your surgery, why not be comfortable with him!

My story: I am a 39 yo Hispanic woman with 2 children ages 21 and 13 (if u did the math I was 17 when I had my son). I gained 36lbs with my first pregnancy but gained 50lbs total AFTER! Yes I used the excuse "I'm breastfeeding, I have to eat!" I held on to those same 50 lbs during my 2nd pregnancy and ended up at about 190lbs for a long time, and at one point was at 212!! So for 21 years I have been between 180-190lbs.

About a year ago I began my weight loss journey. I started at about size 14+ and by July I was able to wear 10/12. My weight loss really took off in Sept. when I began taking Phentermine pills under a doctors supervision to curb my appetite. I began using MyFitnessPal and started counting calories along with watching my portions. I started to see a real change on the scale AND my body. I have lost 42lbs since my journey began! Well along with losing these lbs I have also lost a large amount of my breast volume. My tummy has shrunk but there obviously is a large amount of extra skin.

I have decided to get the "Mommy Makeover" as they call it. I am getting a tummy tuck, breast augmentation (to fill my volume) with mini lift (minimal sagging, yay) and lipo in the flank area to contour (make me more shapely). I figured if I'm going under I'm doing it all!! For the longest time my tummy bothered me the most but try bathing suit shopping with deflated boobs, especially when everyone knows you with BIG ones!! I have one more month to go before my surgery and I am going to Palm Springs for not only one but TWO POOL PARTIES!!! I am freaking out because I just can't get away with looking like I have the boobs, now I definitely don't!! I know, there are suits out there that can lift you and such but I just didn't leave enough time to shop for the "right" suit. Sigh. Oh well. I will look at the experience as my "before" surgery and will be able to look back at the progress and how far I have come. I have decided that regardless of what I look like right now, I am definitely much better than where I was before. And I'm going to embrace the last month of hard work I put in to get my body where it is today. I look forward to my "future" body and really seeing how toned and how much stronger it can get with more hard work.

Feel free to give me advice or ask me any questions. I look forward to learning as much as I can as I embark on this new journey!

So I haven't really put TOO much thought into my...

So I haven't really put TOO much thought into my MM. I mean I do think about it but I don't think it has hit me quite yet that it's coming up real soon. I haven't told too many people, especially my family. I already feel like they aren't all that thrilled at my weight loss. Add perky (and maybe slightly bigger) boobs and a flat tummy and I can already see the looks on their faces! I am not very close with my family so it's been uncomfortable to be around them since I've lost weight. I can hear the whispers...she thinks she's all that, she wasted her money, she thinks she's better than everyone. But you know what?! It's never been about all that. It has always been about how I felt about ME!! I am finally doing something that will improve MY SELF, MY PERSON!! It's not about looking good for my husband (though it's a plus =) ) or to get attention. It's what will make ME happy. So I can't let the negativity of others bring me down and make me feel bad for doing something that will improve my life! And dang it, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!!! I'm turning 40 in September. It's the best birthday present I could ever hope for!!

Okay, well back to work. I work nights. But my day isn't over yet!! Now I've got to workout as much as I can before I can't workout for a while. I asked my PS a stupid question...for some reason I thought, "do I really have to work on my abs if they are tightening them anyways?" Well....looks like the answer is YES. The muscles are being sewn back together but not that they are stronger as a result. So, sigh, back to Ab Ripper X I go. Lol. Happy Friday y'all! (It's MY Friday, AND the start of my vacation!!) Happy healing for those done with their surgeries and happy waiting for the rest of us!!

I'm really worried! I know there is no backing...

I'm really worried! I know there is no backing out for me bc for one this is for ME. I owe it to myself to be happy. And also i am NOT going to lose all the money i put down!! ha ha!! But I'm worried about the message I will be sending my daughter. Back in November I was at Sams club in the books area. I picked up one book...a spiritual book, opened it and started reading where I opened to...it was about loving urself as u were made, how god intended you, etc. etc. Okay....I pick up another one and again open to something in regards to similar thing and I started thinking about my 13 yo and how I don't want her to grow up thinking SHE has to be thin or else won't be happy and such. I am a believer in signs. I wasn't sure if God was telling me NOT to even THINK about surgery at that time! So, I didn't know what was happening to me but figured out it was a panic attack later. Yesterday I was on RS looking at pics of those who have had their MM. And she wanted to see what I was looking at and showing my husb. So I showed her someone's tummy and how it was all extra skin and the reason for a tt. She kinda seemed a bit disgusted. I don't think she realizes that mommy is going to get surgery to remove my skin but also get boobs. I'm really worried. Along with worrying that I will be too big and then bigger with swelling, idk how to convey to her that this is something I have been thinking about for a long time and need it for my mental health and happiness. I just want to be happy overall. :(

Exactly one month left to go. Must go shopping for...

Exactly one month left to go. Must go shopping for things on the list soon!!

I've been a little nervous about size but now I'm wondering about KIND of implant! I was suggested by a coworker to get round implants due to possible rotation of the anatomical implants. My PS suggested these anatomical or "teardrop" shape because I said I wanted to look natural. We decided on the Sientra cohesive gel teardrop. Then I went into the office cuz I was nervous about size again and he began using the Allergan "gummy bear" Naturelle (?) cohesive gel teardrop shape. My husband liked the feel of these better and I have now switched to these.

My concern now is:
Am I going to get the "look" I want with these "teardrop" shape implants?
Are they going to rotate on me?
Are they NOT recommended?
Is round better?

Why is no one really talking about the shape of implant they have? I am so confused.

Idk what to do? I feel like I haven't done much research. I'm going all on what my PS is recommending based on what I have told him. He sounds like he completely understands what I want but now I'M confused as to what I want! Idk what to do, where to research, what I'm actually getting done and put inside me! Idk where to turn.

I need suggestions as to where to research on the different TYPES of implants. I'm not comfortable with my decision now. But I also do t want to go with what everyone else is doing just because its popular. I need advice. Don't know what to do or think now. All I do know is that I'm doing this regardless but now I'm on a countdown. Help?!!

Really need to figure out which to put in. Idk...

Really need to figure out which to put in. Idk where to research.

So, I went back to my PS today! And boy was I glad...

So, I went back to my PS today! And boy was I glad I did! I had many concerns regarding the teardrop shape, rotation of the implant, and the end result would look like. I wasn't sure if the recommendation was due to my "saying" I wanted to look "natural" or if he thought it was BEST for my body. After looking at boobs everywhere I goI found that I didn't know what I REALLY wanted to look like in the end. All I knew was that I did not want o look fake without a bra on. (If anyone watches that show Shameless....Vi is a perfect example of what I DID NOT want to look like. Don't get me wrong...they do look beautiful in a bra but you can visualize the implant and they don't move at all when out of a bra!! lol)

So, I finally decided I DID want some upper pole(?) volume! If I went with the teardrop I would not have been able to achieve this look on the top of my breast. I would have just had my volume filled back up and would have that natural slope at the top and hell if I am getting boobs I AM GETTING SOME BOOBS with a bit of ummph!! I want that "are they?, or aren't they?" look.

I showed my doctor a few boobs I liked and we seem to be on the same page now.

Dr. T is soooooo patient, kind, and very real with me and to the point. I really like him! I was very afraid to "bother" him and his staff yet again, and I know that I shouldn't feel this way but I just have a hard time inconviencing anyone. I know, I know, I am paying good money to get exactly what I want but I just was trusting that he knew what I wanted. I guess it would help if I KNEW what I had wanted to begin with! ha ha.

I'm so glad I ended up going back to him because I did not want to continue to have doubts. And I had MANY doubts. I feel so much better now. My husband, (he is so sweet and has been doing research for me) had many questions and all our questions were answered.

So the final product will be rounds, 450cc's, textured Allergan Gummy Bear implant. Anyone have these or are getting these? My other choice is the Sientra brand but hubby likes the FEEL of these. lol. It's not like I'M gonna be feeling myself up! So I guess HE had SOME say in the decision making! He is so funny.

I will be posting the pics my doctor took at my initial as soon as I get them. I took my own pics and thank goodness I didn't post them cuz they were NO WHERE near what I really looked like!

Also a question for those in the San Francisco/East Bay....where do I rent a recliner from?! Or what is your suggestion on getting said recliner? I am a little worried about not having this? Did EVERYONE use a recliner?

Ok thanks all!! Happy healing to all those that have just gone under and came out on the flat side. I am now getting excited!! 3 weeks and a day to go!!! Yeeeee!!!!

Just finished getting fitted for my compression...

Just finished getting fitted for my compression garment!! My doctor wanted me to get two black CGs but I know myself and I will want to eventually wear a nude color so I got one of each. I'm getting excited here!! Now on the quest to rent a recliner!! Sigh! Not having much luck in my area on that though.

Getting a mammogram gone today!! Wasn't a...

Getting a mammogram gone today!! Wasn't a requirement but I would feel so much better getting it done. I am slowly getting all my supplies ready. Question: do you really recommend bromelain and arnica pills? My doctor doesn't believe they really work but said I could try it if I wanted to. What other things are a must? Going to order my toilet seat riser today. I heard that's a must. Thanks for ur input!!

This past Thursday I had a mammogram done. Looks...

This past Thursday I had a mammogram done. Looks like they want to get more pics of my right breast to be "on the safer side" since there is nothing to compare it to. They said the "saw something". It's kinda been a stresser these past couple days and I am frustrated that all this is happening so close to my surgery date! I don't know what I will do if I need to revise my plans. I am feeling so sad. I don't want to alarm my hubby so I didn't tell him that they said. I need to go to another facility to get these pics and the soonest appt they had is for Friday, 1 week before my scheduled surgery!! They will be able to read it that day but what if they do find something? What if they need to biopsy this thing? Ughhh!!! I am so scared. Never thought this would be happening to me. I am mad at myself for procrastinating getting the mammogram in the first place! I would have had a little more time if anything needs to be done.

Along with all this that is going on I think I have been stress eating. And I feel like I can't control it. I am so angry that I can't control this right now. Feel so numb right now.

What occurs at the pre op appt? Also, I have a...

What occurs at the pre op appt? Also, I have a question for those that got a recliner post sx. My bedroom is upstairs. Do u suggest I have it placed upstairs or should I leave it on the downstairs? How bad is it going up and down two flights of about 8 steps? Getting excited, though I still have my mammogram to do this Friday and I won't stop worrying till that's over and read. Cross fingers that all is well with my right boob! Happy healing to those who have gone before me. Anyone else got the same surgery date as I, May 3rd?!!

Just came from my pre op appt!! Very excited!! ...

Just came from my pre op appt!! Very excited!! Only 1 week and a day left!! Eek!! Talked to him about my mammo issue. If we have to reschedule then we reschedule. No biggie. He reassured me his wife goes back after almost every mammo bc of dense breasts. So he told me not to worry right now. I will wait till after my mammo in Friday and go from there. =)

I'm crying bc idk if I'm just so happy everything...

I'm crying bc idk if I'm just so happy everything is ok and I'm clear for surgery or the fact that I'M CLEAR FOR SURGERY and now it's a reality that I will have implants and it's only going to make it that much harder to get mammos in the future and THAT'S what is making me cry?!! Idk. But I can't let fear prevent me from moving forward so I will look at this experience as a positive. I AM OK!!

So in exactly one week I will be on the other side!!

I'm healthy, I'm happy. Got a great supportive husband. Two happy kids. Life is good. =)

I'm crying bc idk if I'm just so happy everything...

I'm crying bc idk if I'm just so happy everything is ok and I'm clear for surgery or the fact that I'M CLEAR FOR SURGERY and now it's a reality that I will have implants and it's only going to make it that much harder to get mammos in the future and THAT'S what is making me cry?!! Idk. But I can't let fear prevent me from moving forward so I will look at this experience as a positive. I AM OK!!

So in exactly one week I will be on the other side recovering!!

I don't think it has hit me just yet! I am getting...

I don't think it has hit me just yet! I am getting all my supplies together. I am also trying to finish up some errands before I can't and since I work nights I only have today and tomorrow to do them and I have been working all week! Still got one more shift left to work. I've gotten very little sleep, not enough hours in the day. Worked out the last two days, which I was happy about. Since I got the call about the mammo I was stressed and couldn't put my heart in much. But this week is so much better.

So I'm working my last shift tonight and last...

So I'm working my last shift tonight and last night as I got out the shower I was looking at myself in the mirror. I had a bittersweet moment. I grabbed my tummy fat and kinda got a little teary eyed as I am getting now. Teary cuz I realized that this body has been the body I've lived in for 39 years (21 of them being fat). And it carried two children. It has stretch marks. You know how they say that all the marks and scars and wrinkles on us, etc etc are a sign of the life we lived (or however it goes, lol), its supposed to be positive. So I kinda felt sad that this body is no longer gonna be.

BUT......I then held my fat up and held in my tummy and when I look at what I could look like with a flat tummy?......I then remember that this is what's going to make me happy. I think I will probably cry, not because I'm don't want my MM but because it's been through amazing things so far and I look forward to many more amazing experiences in this new body I'm gonna be getting.

Sorry everyone.....I work nights and did as many...

Sorry everyone.....I work nights and did as many errands as I could before I fell asleep. Well, I HAD one more workout left and slept instead!! Dang it!! Guess I needed it. Here are the pics as promised!!

See you guy in the next few days with an update!!

I can't see my pics!! arghhhhh!!

I can't see my pics!! arghhhhh!!

Been dozing in and out of sleep but walked X 2 for...

Been dozing in and out of sleep but walked X 2 for about 10-15 mins each. Actually do feel better with walking. Tried to walk another time but took a sip of water and it went down the wrong pipe so I started coughing. Boy, did THAT hurt!! I feel so much more pressure/pain in my breast than I do in my tummy. Is that normal? Haven't been much for eating. Just crackers. Pineapple and strawberries. And ate a chicken casserole kinda thingy. Other than that I haven't felt too nauseous.

Feeling good today. Been walking every 4 hours...

Feeling good today. Been walking every 4 hours when I take my pain meds. It's been helping tremendously. I still haven't pooped yet. When shall I begin to worry about that? Have also been taking my Arnica Montana and Bromelain, not sure if it is helping but eh it can't hurt. Eating...not too much. Crackers, fruit. Not much of an appetite I guess. Plus I don't want to get too backed up. Okay well happy healing to those before me! Thanks for checking in.

I must say THANK GOODNESS for my lift/recliner chair!!! IT IS A MUST!!! And my toilet seat riser! I can not recommend the lift chair enough!!!

What a shower can do for you!!! Whew, was it...

What a shower can do for you!!! Whew, was it scary but oh soooo rewarding!! I feel so much better!!

Got my drain pulled today. Saw the girls and pretty happy with them....while lying down. But tonight when I took everything off for my shower my boobs aren't filled on the bottom part of my breast. It feels too soft. I REALLY hope I don't wish I went bigger!!! I still don't look huge which is great but I just hope they get fuller on the bottom part as well. I have been massaging the top part since they are still swollen.

I have very minimal bruising anywhere which my PS was very impressed with and also I am standing pretty straight too. He said my ab muscles were really good that he didn't need to pull them together as much or as high up my abs which made me happy. Gym work really does help!!

Pain: not soooo bad at all. Idk if I'm lucky. I tapered the meds from 4 hrs to 5 hrs yesterday and today I just quit cold turkey. I have been taking my Arnica Montana and Bromelain so I wonder if these REALLY do help with pain, swelling, and bruising. Eh, idk but I will continue taking them. Also I finally did poop...on day 4 I believe. I finally took a sip of prune juice and ate a few prunes. So I think it helped.

Okay, well happy healing everyone!!

I have been feeling weak in my arms and hands. Is...

I have been feeling weak in my arms and hands. Is this weird? I would trust myself to hold anything. But even typing this out on my iPhone my right hand is very shaky/weak. Anyone else feeling like this?

Still having lots of pressure in the boobs...

Still having lots of pressure in the boobs especially when I wake up. It sucks!! I have been trying to massage them but don't see much difference.

I decided to get dressed today. Whoa Nelly!! I definitely can't go out with the girls looking like this!! hahahaha!! They DO look good but everyone will know!! Hubby took a pic of me sitting down on the computer (I will post a pic in a sec) and WOW!!!....No tummy!!! This put a smile on my face!! Now if my face could be made up then I would be really happy but I haven't worn makeup since idk when. Yesterday tried to do my Obagi skincare line and was able to get through the first 4 steps (cleanse, toner, eye cream, and Vit C) I couldn't sit straight and long enough to finish the other 5 steps! Eh, I didn't end up going out anyways!!.

Well it's warm where I live so I am going to enjoy the sun with a walk to the park. Happy Mother's Day to all you moms out there!!

Not much is new. Haven't been able to sleep at...

Not much is new. Haven't been able to sleep at night. Been taking ambien every night for the past three nights. Boobs still high but feeling a little softer. Hubby says they've come down a little but I don't see it yet. Patience is what I need to learn at this time. I've been bored after watching all my tv shows on my dvr now i'm watching Downton Abbey.... on season 2 ep 6. Took me till S2E3 to realize it wasnt DownTOWN Abbey!! Lol. Love the show!

So, been walking about one full walk for 30-40 mins and then just here and there around the house. Should i be walking more? I bend over on my tummy when I sit. Is that bad? It doesn't hurt but idk if ishould be doing that. I feel kinda lost in terms of what I should be doing for after care. I'm in my cg almost 24/7 applying ointment 2x daily on the bb and drain site and in my bra 24/7 as well massaging whenever I can. Don't know what else I should be doing. Suggestions? I see my PS next thursday. Until then...... sigh. Happy healing all!

questions about howi should look by day 1

Well ambien isn't working for me tonight! And it sucks!! So I have a few ?'s...

1. Those that had lipo, was ur lipo area still lumpy and hard in places or was it smooth right after assuming there was still some swelling along with it?
2. How long does it take for the swelling around the tummy to start going down?
3. Is my swelling due to my sitting up as opposed to lying down?
4. Should I not be lying on my side at all? Is this why my lipo area feels hard and more swollen?

I am trying not to worry and hence wont call my ps to ask anything bc if its too early to why bother worrying. Thought to just get feedback here. Thanks ladies!

questions about how i should lookby day 13

Well ambien isn't working for me tonight! And it sucks!! So I have a few ?'s...

1. Those that had lipo, was ur lipo area still lumpy and hard in places or was it smooth right after assuming there was still some swelling along with it?
2. How long does it take for the swelling around the tummy to start going down?
3. Is my swelling due to my sitting up as opposed to lying down?
4. Should I not be lying on my side at all? Is this why my lipo area feels hard and more swollen?

I am trying not to worry and hence wont call my ps to ask anything bc if its too early to why bother worrying. Thought to just get feedback here. Thanks ladies!

2 weeks post op- Not sure if I have seroma!

My tummy still looks puffy. I called my PS office and told them I think I may have seroma. I was told PS not worried about it and will see me at my next appt. If I do have it then he will aspirate it......next appt is NEXT THURSDAY!!! Ughhhh!!! I am looking at other RS po pics and I am now starting to compare how I look compared to them and I am no where near flat! I know I need to be patient as I am still healing and I am no where near the final results but at 2 weeks shouldn't I see a difference than my first po pics I posted?!! I am really frustrated right now and worried!! Idk what to think now!!

Very trialing day and current moment!

I have been needing to take Ambien for sleep every night now it seems and its getting very frustrating! I don't look forward to night time.

well RS friends i will be backinthe morningwhen i am not feeling the affects of ambien

I am crying cuz i spent all this money to.like how I look like AFTER the procedures.and right now I am so dissappointed at my looks! I don't look like anyone else. I feel so alone! I am embarrassed at this point n don't want anymore people than who already know to know I did this. I'm just fllat out sad and depressed.

Post op appt today!

Hi all!! Omw to my 2nd po appt! Tmr will be 3 weeks po! I really hope all the steri strips come off today!! I don't know what my nipples and my TT incisions look like!! I am being very patient and staying positive and I hope I have good news about all my healing so far.

I've been having a hard time sleeping every single night and have now been taking ambien every day. Sucks! And in the morning the boobs don't feel so engorged anymore. Still high but a bit softer. They do look like dropped a TINY bit really it is a tiny bit. They are yet filling into the boob. So I still look like a huge slope on top pushing my boobs downwards. I hate it. BUT...sigh, being patient here. Lol. Will update after my appt!

I was told to go braless!??

Post op appt went well. So far all incisions look good. I haven't seen myself really but had hubby take pics (will post). I was cleared to start some exercises but nothing strenuous and no ab work till next week. I tried to do my Tahitian class last night and didn't wanna push myself so I didn't last but 5 mins, plus it's a lot of hip movement and I couldn't really move my hips so no point in doing class. Lol. Maybe I should have tried harder? Idk. Anyways, I definitely have a dog ear on my right side and my left side possibly though there is a mild hardness (if that makes sense) that he will prob have to fix as well. Finger crossed that when all the swelling goes down it will smooth out.

As far as the braless thing...it sounds like he was expecting my implants to be further down into the pocket so the fact that they aren't he wants me to go without a bra except for when I go out of course. I can sleep without it too and I can now lay/sleep on my tummy. I will continue to massage them into place and, *sigh....once again, be patient!

See him again in 3 weeks.

Finally able to update!!!

Hi all!! My profile had a "bug" and I wasn't able to update or add pics or anything!! Was frustrating!

Update: I'm four weeks po (yesterday) I have been cleared to wear my CG for 8-12 hrs a day but not at night. It's not bad. Def feel more "together" with it on but don't feel I look any different in the morning when I used to wear it 24/7. All my posted pics have been at night when I have my most swelling so I have to take pics when I am most flat so u all can see the difference.

The boobs have come down a little but i still don't feel sexy naked. I still don't like the side view of the boobs. They slope downward still. I am also not wearing a bra whenever possible like my PS said.

I had to go back to the office for two stitches that were sticking out. I feel like I could have done this myself but I didn't want to take any risks so I drove all the way to the office for him to cut them. While there he said the right boob came down a little compared to last visit a week ago. Idk what he was talking about cuz from mine and my hubby's eyes you can def see that the left one has come down more than the right. But maybe the PS sees something else that I don't. He IS the doctor right?

Anyways, what else is new?...I have been wanting to shop but don't feel like I am at my final size waist or boobs. So I will wait.

Ohhhh, exercise...I'm scared to do anything. What have you guys started doing?! Thanks for reading my updates.

Cheesy smile!!

My hubby keeps touching me!! He LOVES the boobs!! And he has this big ole koolaid smile!! It's hilarious!!

Not sure I would choose him again?

Why I say this: when I first met him he was so nice, super easy to talk to, took his time with my hubby and I at my consult. I felt....comfortable with him. I didn't need to see anymore PS, I chose him. Back in 09' I had seen 3 diff PS (only two were board cert) and so I took these other 2 PS as part of my, "well I saw several PS, I like this one, I don't need to see anymore." Everything up until surgery was "fine". AFTER SURGERY is where I'm having issues. Idk if its ME bc I'M not asking the questions? I just feel that he should be giving me clear instructions on aftercare and what I should and shouldn't do or need to do?

After my first po appt (to get drain pulled, 5dpo) he pulled the drain, took off the padding from lipo and a few large steri strips on my abd and under crease of breast and my bb. OHHHH, quick note, I had steri strips on the crease but he said he was doing a periareolar (beneli/donut) lift and I GUESS I assumed the implant was going to be done through this method as well. Never do I remember him saying the lift was one thing and the implant another with an incision under the breast! I don't mind that there is an incision, I was just surprised when I saw strips there cuz I really didnt expect to have an incision there that's all. Anyways, all I was told to do was apply polysporin to drain site and bb and cover with gauze 2x a day. Nothing about massaging the breast. Only to continue my walking. He cut a stitch on each side on my hips from lipo I guess (side note: was told he wouldn't have to take any stitches out cuz they all are dissolvable) but he did for the lipo. Follow up appt 2 weeks.

Ok so still have my TT strip on and the strips on my nipples and under crease. No biggie. I massage the boobs as best I know how (wasn't given much instruction so just trying to get the info on my own of what others are doing). Continue the ointment on my drain site and BB.

Follow up appt: 3 weeks po. All the steri strips come off!! Yay!.....instructions: go braless to help the boobs come down.



Ummmm....ok? That's it? I ask about massage, yes in all four directions. Can I start Maderma on my incision sites? Sure, if u want to waste ur money. Ok? Well what do u recommend? Any Vit E cream or Palmers will do, basically moisturizing will be enough. Silicone strips? What are they and should I get? No you don't need those yet. *Questions for u readers on RS, should I get these? Are they beneficial?

Ok back to story, he cleared me to START exercise, but doesn't really tell me what.. no jumping, no running? etc. What is ok to start doing? Def no abdominals. Ok good. Then he begins to say how the vessels and my abd is still being laid down and can't do too much friction on the area because I can bleed and that blood can't be absorbed into the body?...I really didn't understand but bc I'm a nurse I should know what he was talking about (I still didn't, and my dumb ass was too embarrassed to ask for clarification!) so my hubby asks him to clarify (thank god) and my PS kinda talked to him like he was stupid! (he said, ok this is for him, cuz I know you understand, blah blah blah.....I STILL didn't understand!) I gave up, no exercises started. So I'm home. Not sure what I should be doing aside from continuing my walking, and applying ointment to my BB and massaging boobs.

I send an email: CG 24/7?
Can I bathe? Swim? For how long out of CG if yes. Sex?

I get the answers. BUT, was it up to me to KNOW to ask these questions? Am I just being overly sensitive here? Am I just not asking the questions? Idk!?!! I'm frustrated. I am not a big complainer. I bottle it up. But this along with the ups and downs of the MM already it's putting me over edge a bit. I'm overwhelmed with stress, idk how to stop it. I haven't exercised yet btw. I took one bath, didn't like the water sitting in my BB. I had sex once so far. Not very comfortable. Got my period right after. (Good thing cuz it gives me a week break from trying again).

So here I am. I am feeling depressed. Feel like my eating is out of hand. Not sure if my tummy is swelling or getting fat. Boobs still look deformed naked. I feel really crappy! Btw I feel another stitch...I don't even wanna tell them about it. (I already had two others removed AFTER that last fu appt!) Really frustrated over here!

Frankenboobs!!

Every week po I have my hubby take pics of me. Front, right side, back, and left side. I have been doing a comparison and I see no difference! I seriously hope it happens overnight one day!! Otherwise I'm just never going to want to be naked again!!

On a positive note...I went shopping. I bought a pair of jeans that I didn't need to make sure they were high wasted!! Also, I am so used to high wasted pants that I feel as if my pants are falling off me bc I don't feel them on my waist! I keep touching the top of my pants to make sure!! It IS a great feeling to not have muffin top spilling out anymore!!

See, there is positivity in me somewhere!! :-)

Pics

*Sigh!! =(

Well, it wasn't the news I wanted to hear. I need to go back under and have my implants released from the muscle. They have not come down into the pocket and my PS will need to help put them in place now. Since they are textured the muscle held them in place and while the right dropped a tiny bit the left didn't come down at all he said. On a good note it's at no cost to me of course. On another bad note I now have to get all my paperwork in again for extending my leave from both my jobs!! How frustrating!! I'm really...idk if I'm frustrated about having to get surgery again right now. I think I'm just numb right now.

Otherwise my TT is healing good. I did have a small area of a suture granuloma. The suture started to like put them went back in and causes a little infection. I'm glad I saw that today. He took it out and put bacitracin on it. No Vit e oil rub for a bit now. :(

Sigh. Ok we'll that's my news for the day.

Ps. I went shopping yesterday and bought a pair of awesome white jeans...low rise!!! And a pretty dress that will show the tatas beautifully!! (When I heal from everything that is) Can't wait to wear them!!

Happy healing everyone!

Went shopping two days in a row!!!

I have been pretty happy with how my body is looking in clothes!! I went shopping and got some awesome deals!! I am loving how I can buy jeans and have them sit at my hips and not high on my waist!! I'm still used to having them higher up that I keep pulling my pants and panties higher! Lol. Only thing that sucks right now is that I am still in my cg and u can see the indentation on my thighs. So i haven't been wearing the jeans just yet. I am sure people can't tell unless u know but as a lifelong spanx wearer I can tell when other women are wearing something underneath their pants! It's not really attractive. Lol. As far as tops....as ur aware I need to go back in for surgery SO the boobs out of a bra look horrible! And some of the things I bought I would like to go braless in so I am just envisioning the end results and how awesome the tatas are gonna look in my outfits!!! I CAN'T WAIT!!!

Btw my surgery date is next Friday. They couldn't get me in any sooner. :( I just hope it all ends up ok in the end. I'm really bummed they aren't where they should be. Trying to stay positive about it though.

Really nervous about this revision

I have been up all night wondering why me? Why did this not work? Did he not sit me upright before closing to make sure it looked good? Is this not a normal thing they do? Why do my implants look great when I'm lying down? Is there too much breast tissue that it just "hangs" too much? When I kinda lift my breast how I think it should look it LOOKS good. So should my beast be lifted more? But it's still too soft and empty on the bottom so where is the implant at? I really can't feel the implant honestly. Also the pocket has been open for 7 weeks by the time revision is done. Won't the upper pocket be "too big" that the implant will slide upwards? I'm really confused. Want to get more info but I don't know what to search! I've searched diff with smooth and textured, why it hasn't dropped, cc. A lot of the PS on here say its too early, sometimes it's take months to drop. But I have TEXTURED implants. They will NOT be moving anymore at this point. This is the reason he went with texture. To decrease CC and movement. But it brings me back to the same question I had...if they are meant to stay more or less where they are placed then why did he not see they were placed too high? Or did the muscle pull it upwards?!! Idk. Either way I am losing sleep over this and am really depressed.

I am happy overall with getting a MM. I definitely am loving my thinner self. I went to a wedding last night and wore a skin right red dress. I posted pics. The last pic you can see the boob slope on the left breast. I have to adjust my boobs upwards to not have the snoopy effect. Good thing the neckline of this dress hid how high the implants are.

*sigh* Ok. Well any feedback is appreciated. Thanks.

Pic update!

Had breast revision last Friday. Boobs look better. Still not completely satisfied but I am hopeful. Reason I'm not satisfied: I have textured implants. I'm now finding out that they act like Velcro so they mostly stay where they are placed. Given THAT info I don't see how they will "drop" or "settle" over time. So how they "look" to me now is how I BELIEVE them to look at 3 months and 6 months. Idk but we will see. This is just MY thought. It seems as if majority of those get smooth round.

When I started this whole process I was to get anatomical shaped implants. I hardly could find others that were getting these or did get these for me to be able to get info/advice. I THOUGHT as soon as I switched to "round" I had made the "better" choice. Didn't realize then that NOW I needed to get the info ABOUT smooth vs texture. *sigh* And THIS is where I feel I was unprepared and wish I researched more or maybe had more consults with other PS. But I believe that everything happens for a reason. I can't play that "what if" game NOW. All I can do is be patient and HOPE and trust that in the end I will eventually feel good in my body.

This definitely has been a journey! And a long process so far! I only hope it gets better. :-)

9weeks and 2 days post op now.

Time flies!! I almost wish I could start over and maybe eat better, walk more, been more productive with my time off. So many ups and downs. Had a revision that kinda set me back emotionally and still has me there but I try not to think about it. Came across a story about Lisa Marie (BodyRock girl) who got implants, had a revision and ended up having to take them out in the end. Her story sounded a little like mine in terms of how she healed so it is in the back of my mind and it's haunting me. I am hoping with all my might that I will look fine in the end. I look good in clothes but I wanted to look and feel good all the way around not just when dressed. I worry that my tummy isn't flat but still flabby (cuz it is!) and I wonder if its just that I'm expecting too much.

I love that my tt incision is really low but I don't have lots of confidence to be able to wear a bikini as I am not comfortable having "all eyes on me".

I've started back at the gym and love it!! But I'm not sure if I'm overdoing it and don't want to stop cuz I feel good there.

My hubby is overweight and at this point I just want him healthy but he won't do anything to become healthy. It makes me sad and I think this takes my confidence away that I "shy" or "dumb" down because I don't want all the attention and make him feel uncomfortable.

I go back to work Monday and am sooooo happy to go back as I am sooooo ready to get back into my routine!! I've been off work for a total of two months!! I haven't told many people about my MM and idk what to tell them when I go back. I feel a little bit of a "fraud" like I've cheated by having my MM. As you can see there are so many mixed emotions going through my head and right now I don't know how to deal with them. But overall it's taking away from me being able to enjoy my body and my life.

My hubby is very supportive. He loves me. I know. But he has a way of making me feel unworthy. Let me take that back bc he can't do that to me. It's ME that is making me feel unworthy. This is a trigger word for me. I just want to be happy in life. I hope that once I start back to work and can continue feeling good working out at the gym and being healthy that everything will start to look rosy! Thanks for listening.

Here are several 9wk 2d MM po/2wk breast revision po pics.

Not happy about the breast still.

I have a feeling I didn't get the right breast lift/aug done. Idk if I just have too much breast tissue or if I am just not healing right or what. I have an appt on Thursday so I will see what my PS says but I am just not seeing the biggest difference in the bottom of my breast. They are continually dropping as the time goes. Idk where to turn to get more info.

Vertical lift advice

I posted a question in regards to possibly having the wrong type of lift done. At my last appt my ps and I were finally on the same page as to the look I wanted to achieve overall. It is for sure that the look I want I will have to get a vertical incision. The reason (per PS) he did not suggest this is bc he avoids this if he can as he wants to preserve the breast tissue as much as he can. Also that when u start to cut into breast tissue it makes it harder to detect breast cancer on mammos. Ok I understand this. Now I am wondering whether or not to do this. My hubby is happy with my breast. I am "ok" with it. I still feel that I would not go without a bra in certain clothing and this is what makes me unhappy. I decided that I will wait the full 6 mos until I decide whether I am happy with my overall look or if I will go ahead and get the vertical. I initially wanted to go smaller as I wanted to look more proportionate with my body and the vertical will give me this look (I believe) along with perkier breasts. I am just not sure whether or not I should mess with breast tissue d/t what he stated. Anyone have info about this?

Also, is everyone as flat after their tt? I still have a roll! I still have to suck in my tummy! especially when im sitting! I am told that I will never be completely flat as I don't have teenage skin and my skin is loose?? Idk. I know not all of it is still swelling! Idk how to convince him that I am not happy about this and what can be done. I am trying to wait this out as well but idk what he can do about it anyways? Lipo??

I'm 3 months today!!

So given that I'm 3 months today and per my PS's office assistant how I look now is roughly my end results. (Remember, it's the office assistant that said this). If this were true I would NOT be happy. I know it still takes more time. I have to keep telling myself this. They should be taking my pics again to compare to my before. Supposed to be at 3 months but I don't see my PS till mid August. Now I'm sure any pics compared to my before will be great but where I'm stuck is the fact that I still have a tummy roll. I don't wear my cg any more but should I be? Will it do anything for my healing as opposed to just compressing my tummy so I don't see or feel this roll? I might just start wearing spanx or something just to appease my mind! Idk. It's frustrating!

My boobs, I am still waiting to see if they improve but I think I might just end up with a vertical incision to achieve the look I wanted.

I am kind of embarrassed that I don't have a "perfect" body with all this money I've spent. Again, I may look good in clothes but mentally I know I'm not happy that I don't look as good out of them. I wish I didn't tell ANYONE about my MM. But that would have been hard to keep secret since people at work would ask questions and I'm such a bad liar. Lol. The few friends I did tell I REALLY wish I didn't tell.

Overall I think maybe I am just way too critical of myself and had very high expectations. Will post new pics soon.

Pic updates 3 mos MM/5wk revision

New pics!!

A-HA moment last night!!

I worked with a coworker I hadn't seen in a while last night. As I was explaining to her my dilemma about my breasts I had an A-HA moment!! I realized that the picture I had in my mind of what my breasts should look like is not what I told my PS I wanted. I told him from the get go that I wanted to look natural. I wanted to be able to have the "fake" boob look IF I wanted with the right bra. I had forgotten that this was what I wanted.......in the beginning. I guess I did want the more rounded, fuller, semi "fake" look. I just didn't know it. Sigh. The good news is that I could still have that look if I want. But I will have to decide whether a vertical scar is worth it. I still plan to wait it out until I come to a decision. But after having this a-ha moment it eased my mind about my looks now. I DO look great in clothes! I DO look much better than my before pics. And I AM much happier than I was before. So I will continue to have patience and stay positive and continue to work on my body as I'm always going to be a work in progress!

The Giants Race!

I just completed my first ever 10K run!! In 1hr 10mins and 30secs!! I ran the whole thing! So proud.

Dog ear removed today.

So I went to the office to have my dog ear on the left side removed. I did not like the uncomfortableness of it. But all I kept thinking to myself was "it's painful to be beautiful!" Waxing of hair=painful. Wearing tight spanx=painful. Getting a mommy makeover=PAINFUL! So what's a little more pain?! Well anyways. Every time I feel "yeah, my PS and I are on the same page!" He does or DOESN'T do something and it sets me back. At my last appt he said he was going to remove the dog ear and do a little lipo on my hip area bc it appears the left hip bone sits higher than the right and so lipo will give it the appearance of looking the same?? Idk. Anyways, I was set to have this said lipo. When I questioned about lipo pain (my way of finding out of he was still doing this lipo, lol) he said he wasn't going to do it, that I didn't need it. Huh?!!! Then why did u say I did last time?! Ughhh. Confusing! Maybe it's for the best anyways. Who knows. He may have lipo'd too much and then I would look more deformed! Haha! I don't see what he sees anyways...hip bone higher etc.

On another note: I went to nordy's to get fitted for a bra......36DDD!!!!! Wholy hell?!!! I wish I knew what I wore BEFORE!!! Now I will never know! I'm still unsure whether to get the vertical lift. It will make my boobs smaller. Which is what I was kinda going for from the get go but idk. Idk if I want to heal from yet another scar. BUT I want the full roundness look I have when my arms are raised all the time. And I don't have that. So I still have a few months to decide. Let me know your thoughts on this! Thanks!!!

5months po MM/3.5 months post breast revision

So......I went to my fu visit after getting left dog ear fixed almost a month ago. All is well. Now, we talked about the breast and how the look is not what I wanted. I am scheduled to now get yet another revision (or shall we say surgery!) to now do the vertical incision to remove breast tissue. He is also charging me for the operating room (which is in his office)! I am really upset that I am getting charged for this! For one, bc he said all along that he would do it "no charge", never said there would be a fee for the operating room, and IT IS NOT WHAT I WANTED TO BEGIN WITH!! I am very disappointed in my doctor. I can't wait to just be done with him!! I am afraid that I still won't get the result i am looking for bc I am not sure he is "getting" what I am trying to say. I think I am going to get second opinions but I need to move fast with appts!

I feel so defeated! I am afraid of something happening to me under sedation (for 3hrs!!)

Also, he is going to fix dog ear on the right side, which I told him about before and he disregarded what I told him.

Sigh, I am so over this doctor!!!

Angry

I'm 9mos po now. I had a breast revision that I'm still not happy with. I was supposed to have yet another surgery back in december but decided to postpone as I wasn't sure whether to go back and get the proper procedure done or not. I believe I was supposed to either get a vertical lift OR bigger implants to fill the breast tissue I have. My ps only did a Benelli lift with 450 textured rounds. The revision, he had to go in and pull the implants down and release scarring which was pulling it upwards.

I just had a 2nd opinion with another ps. He wants to start over and change out the implants to smooth. And of course all this will be in a surgery center and will cost $9k+. Sigh. I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO!!

I kept asking my ps "will they come down? Will they come into the pockets? Is the areola going to push out when it does fall into place? Will I have a more rounded look when it does?" All these questions were always going to be NO! Because they are textured!!! And they weren't going to move from where they were placed!! At one of my appt a he even mumbled how he hated using textured implants! .....oh, forgot, he even had me do displacement exercises!! Why?!! It made no difference!! The new ps agreed that my breast is not "one". I have the implant and I have hanging breast. I REALLY DONT KNOW HOW TO PROCEED! As far as my ps and what surgery I was to get done was do the lollipop....in the office! Under sedation!! He also said at one point at my last fu that I did indeed have a capsular contracture in my right breast!! Um, won't he have to go back into the capsule and release the scarring?!! ARGHHHH!!! I am so mad!! Idk what he is doing anymore. And I don't really trust him. Idk if I have a malpractice suit on my hands given him saying one thing at first them another after the fact. I'm really embarrassed that I didn't see plenty other docs.
Dr. Joseph Togba

(6/14/13) I decided to "review" my PS as of this point so far. It may change after all is siad and done for right now this is my review. (Original post about PS) "Recommended by someone at the gym who had very nice breasts. Went to an "open house" event at his practice and felt very comfortable with him. Made an appt and at my consultation he was very thorough and spent 2.5 hrs with me!"

3 out of 5 stars Overall rating
3 out of 5 stars Doctor's bedside manner
4 out of 5 stars Answered my questions
2 out of 5 stars After care follow-up
5 out of 5 stars Time spent with me
5 out of 5 stars Phone or email responsiveness
5 out of 5 stars Staff professionalism & courtesy
5 out of 5 stars Payment process
5 out of 5 stars Wait times
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