When I was 18 I had a verbally abusive boyfriend...
When I was 18 I had a verbally abusive boyfriend who was always checking out women who had my exact body type except with larger breasts. He was never that "into" me, and he would never admit that my little breasts (36B at the time) were the only things that were not "his type."
Being a stubborn 18, I was determined to prove a point and show him that I could be as beautiful as the women he lusted after. $3,000 later, I had huge breasts. I asked the doctor to make me a C cup. I would say that I regretted the operation instantly. They were so swollen and weird looking to me. I got used to my new chest (saline, under the muscle, 300cc on the right and 320 cc on the left) when everything settled down, but I never really loved my new breasts. I'm very active, so they were always in the way. When I was measured professionally for the first time a few years ago, I discovered that I was a 34D and had been mashing myself into too small bras all this time. I hated not being able to cuddle people the same, hugging felt inhibited.
The surgeon I went to lied about potential complications with lactation, which depressed me horribly when I had surrogate children for friends and had to supplement the babies with formula. I have had chronic shoulder and neck pain that has become worse over the 17 years I have had these things in. I also had a blood clot form in my right subclavian vein due to a severe form of thoracic outlet syndrome which is aggravated by breast implants (awesome!). Now I am getting ready to adopt girls and more than ever I wanted to return to my former natural beauty, even if they are tiny and shriveled from this whole stretching experience.
I don't want to send a message to my future children that they need to change themselves to be beautiful. My husband has been wonderfully supportive through the whole process. I spoke to a few different doctors in my area and decided not to go with a lift - just straight removal. So the operation was today! I was out of the clinic just 3 hours after checking in. I have not had any pain pills at all yet and I'm feeling remarkably good. My breasts look like sad little wilted flowers at the moment. Though a bit self-conscious at present, I am not feeling any regret! I will post pictures once someone gets home to take some photos for me. I will update the photos during the healing process too as well as how I am feeling because I had really wanted to see more progress shots of others as they went through the healing process. I have loved this site and everyone's stories. I wish women could come together more often like this and encourage each other to see the intrinsic beauty we each hold. Yay women! You are all so brave and wonderful for doing what feels right to you.
April 12th (1 day post-op): I spent a good part...
April 12th (1 day post-op): I spent a good part of the day crying. I did not want to feel sad about this, they're just breasts. In the grand scheme of the world and all of the pains and injustices, my chest matters really very little. However, I felt painfully deflated through the morning. The emotions, the emptiness, reminded me a bit of the emptiness I felt immediately after giving birth. It is all just so quick, and drastic - the change from fullness to flat. I had the genius idea to go bra shopping. Note to anyone considering this post-op: DON'T! They do not make a bra that works well with the whole concave rib cage, immediately post-surgery saggy skin thing. It was so comically bad that I let out some good tears, got back on this website for a little online moral support, then started getting ideas for my dream tattoo of a large cherry tree covering a good bit of my torso. I was so happy and inspired after a short time of doing this that I was feeling a new power and joy in my decision to explant. Last night was great, spent with family and friends. My husband says I look like ME for the first time since he's met me (he has only known me with the implants in). We are able to be together now without these strange objects between us.
April 13 (2 days post-op): I felt amazing all day. I have had no real pain following the procedure. I haven't had to use any pain medication. I've been taking arnica for the bruising at the surgical sites. Even those areas are not overly painful. I went on a lovely hike today. It was fabulous being able to wear a tiny sports bra and not have anything in my way as I spent the day playing with nature. I'm not getting death glares from passing women any longer (they never did like the big breasts), and men are still checking me out (much to my surprise). Today I knew I would never regret this decision! I feel like me again.
One week in now, and my body feels great. I have...
One week in now, and my body feels great. I have residual bruising, particularly under the right arm where it was worse to begin with. I am finding clothing, both in my closet and stores, which looks great with my new, more athletic build. I have not been sad once since that first day, and I am so happy that my body is all me again. Not much change in how they look for the time being (pics posted). I'll post again in a month and then a year after so people can see how they change over time, as that is what I was most worried and curious about leading up to the procedure! :)
The bruising has completely healed. The incisions are just scars now. Everything is looking and feeling great. I don't think my breasts will puff out all that much, but at least they are looking less concave at this point. :) I am having fun discovering new (new-old?) clothing styles that work on me now. I still don't have any regrets and would highly recommend removing old implants to anyone considering it, natural breasts feel awesome!
Three months in
I'm still loving the smaller breasts. My only gripe is that the nipples sink inward when they are not hard. It makes them look almost sad. :) Still, I no longer have to wear bras, not having nipples showing through shirts can actually be a huge plus, I don't have huge bags to get in my way and weigh me down. I couldn't be happier - I only wish I had decided to take them out sooner!
You may notice that a tattoo has been added since the last photos. Don't worry, that isn't a side effect of getting implants out. ;)
Before the implants
This isn't really an update, I just finally got around to digging up a photo of what my breasts looked like BEFORE any of this. I loved how my breasts looked when I was naked. I felt self-conscious in clothes because they seemed to disappear. Obviously, if I had it to do over again, I would have just kept them natural and cute. I wish women knew all of the information out there before making hasty decisions about plastic surgery. :) I love that this forum exists - it is at least a step in the right direction.
Everything is still wonderful. I'm starting to build up more and more muscle, going to yoga, running, weights. I love being able to work out without the extra foreign bodies to work around. Friends and family all say I look great. I'm happy with everything, and I'd do it again in a heartbeat. The breast tissue is definitely recovering more and more, and filling in. Sorry for the lousy photos this month.