Can't Wait For The New Me - Norwich, CT

I started this journey in October of 2013. I went...

I started this journey in October of 2013. I went to Dr. T and he had me go to do an Upper GI, some blood work, and a few other appointments. I was a little leery of doing this during the holidays, but I figured there would be more holidays to come in my future that I would need to eat healthy for, so I might as well start now. I ended up going to the nutritionist at the beginning of November, with a follow up appointment the beginning of December. And guess what? I actually LOST FOUR POUNDS! I am very happy. I've NEVER lost weight during Thanksgiving before! I am almost five feet tall and I started this journey at 303 lbs. I am now at 299. May not seem like a lot yet, but it's a start. And during Thanksgiving! I had my mandatory counseling session, which I passed with flying colors, and then it was back to Dr. T the middle of December. I went to him three days ago and he said that he is submitting the paperwork to my insurance. We are looking for a surgery date at the end of January, and I could not be happier right now. I am a little nervous, this is going to be about four thousand dollars that I will have to pay back, but I am so ready to make this happen!

The Waiting Game...

So it's been a week. Still waiting on insurance. Still waiting on my sleep test. Still waiting on the final nutritionist appointment. Getting really nervous, but I got this. I was supposed to have my sleep test last week, but the place that I went to told me I was not able to do the overnight one at the lab, that I had to do the at home test. I wasn't able to pick up the machine the day they wanted me to, so I called the very next day. They suddenly transformed from the helpful nice people that I met at the office, to really rude, antagonistic people who basically treated me like a second class citizen. I called my gastric doctor to see if I could go to someone else, because this place told me I would not get another appointment for a month and a half. Needless to say, that doesn't work as they are expecting me to have the surgery the end of the month. When I spoke with Mary, she said that this was something she had been hearing from a few different patients, that the office was really rude. She let me know that I could go to any pulmonary doctor I wanted, and to just have them submit the results to my doctor. So I googled for people in my area and have an appointment set for 01/06. Wish me luck!

The Date Is Set!!

I'm so excited! I got my date! 01/31/14 will be the day that my life changes completely! I cannot wait! I'm literally dancing around my bedroom. My diet starts 01/17 - which is also an amazing coincidence, as the start of this whole thing starts on my grandmother's birthday. She helped to raise me, and she passed three years ago. So I am taking that as a sign that she is behind me, and there is no way for me to lose! It's all becoming real now!

Getting Closer

So I got the call today to schedule for my sleep test - that's a relief - I was getting worried it wouldn't be done in time. I go next week :) And even though my pre-op diet doesn't start until tomorrow - I've been making changes throughout the week - slowly cutting down on my food - staying under 1300 calories. Today I am at a staggering 643 pre-dinner - and my dinner will be less than 250 calories - so I'm there - with room to spare! I've been working on my water intake - which is harder than it seems. I didn't get enough in early yesterday - so I drank 68 ounces between 12:30pm and 9pm. I don't know how much good it did me though because I was peeing every 20 minutes. Today I've done better. It's only 5pm and I've already got 44 ounces in - taking my time throughout the day to get the max benefit. Tomorrow is the day this becomes slightly more real. The two week countdown commences!

And It Starts

So I am in my first day of my two week countdown - getting a bit realer! I did really good yesterday - went to bed having only consumed 964 calories! Doing just as good today - just trying to work on getting more protein - yesterday was only 44 grams. I've got the water down - wish I didn't have to pee so much though lol! Now it's just a few more doctor's appointments - 14 days (including today!) and I go under the knife! I got this!

A Week In

Okay, so I thought it would be hard to stick to the 1000 calorie diet. But it's not. I am actually having trouble REACHING the 1000 calories. Yesterday I only got in 630. The issue is I'm just not hungry. Maybe because of what I'm eating? For breakfast I had a Boost High Protein shake, then for lunch I had a sandwich, consisting of two pieces of 45 calorie whole grain bread, spinach, mustard, Weight Watchers Cheese, and a 90 calorie pack of turkey. Dinner was an omelet with 6 tablespoons of egg substitute, 1/3 cup of Weight Watchers Cheese, spinach, and onion, with salsa on top. I was not hungry at any point in the day. I've also been drinking my 80 ounces of water a day. Maybe that's why? Idk, but hopefully it will help rather than hinder me. Today is the day I go for my labs, EKG, etc. Wish me luck!

Just a Few More Days

I'm nervous. And excited. And nervous. And happy. And did I mention nervous? Have just over 72 hours until I'm in surgery. Can't wait for it, but at the same time, wishing it was later, haha. Had a few struggles over the past few days with cravings. The closer I get, the more I want to just gorge out on all the food I know is bad for me and I won't be able to have again. But I controlled myself. Allowed myself one bite of some of the really bad cravings, and stayed under my 1000 for the day. Tomorrow I get to see the anesthesiologist. Then just one more day. I was really worried it wouldn't be able to happen. I finally had my sleep test last Friday, and come to find out I DO have sleep apnea. I thought I had to get back in and get the final test done before the surgery, which wasn't going to be able to happen, but turns out they just needed to know if I had it. Thank the Lord. I'm going to be staying with my mom for a bit after the surgery, depending on the pain, because I live in a third floor apartment and I don't know if I will feel up to going up and down the stairs to get in my daily walking. We'll see.

And It's Done!

Surgery was Friday at 10:30 am. Now it's Sunday morning. While most people only spend one night in the hospital, tonight will be my third. I'm having really bad nausea and its hard to keep anything down, so I can't go home until I do. Honestly, at this point, I'm still not sure if I did the right thing. I'll tell you in a week.

One Week Out

Okay - so I'm feeling better - the nausea lasted three days and then stopped. I'm getting my liquids in - not worrying about the protein until stage three - and I've already lost 14 lbs. So yeah - I'm excited - and I've decided so far - it's worth it :)


Showing the incisions - 1 week post

One Month Out

So I haven't been updating much - but right now I just got some awesome incentive - so I figured I'd share it. I started a month ago at a size 26 - which were actually tight. Today I just put on a size 22 with room to spare!! I may be having trouble getting in my liquids - and my protein - but I'm doing something right! I was very discouraged because when I went to my doctor on Tuesday - I had only lost 10 lbs in the past two weeks. It seems to be slowing down for me. And then I actually gained a pound back. But I'm thinking maybe its muscle - because I've started working out again - and I wasn't able to fit the size 22 three days ago. So not so depressed anymore. Feel free to comment - it sometimes feels like I'm talking to myself lol.

So Discouraged

I'm in a very discouraging stage right now. I haven't lost any weight since my last update. I've been going to the gym, staying to 500 calories a day, and nothing. I feel like it was all for nothing. I've only lost a bit over 20 lbs in the almost five weeks since the surgery. I don't know what I'm doing wrong. Right now I wish that I hadn't done it at all.

Thanksgiving 2013 and Last Week

Feeling Good!!

So - I'm so over the depressing tone of the last update. I was just in a bad place because of missing food and the stall. But the stall ended! I ate a few bites of cheesecake and two tater tots with chili and cheese sauce (I know, naughty naughty) - and I was loving it. I was in a much better mood already. The next morning - I woke up having lost 5 lbs - overnight!! I don't know if it was just the end of the stall - the fact that I was in a better mood - or maybe I was in starvation mode from only doing about 300 calories a day and eating the fatty foods broke that. But something worked!! I'm down three sizes - everybody is commenting on how good I look - and I feel awesome! I went for a three mile walk today in the nice springtime weather - and to reward myself....I didn't turn to food! I pierced a second hole in my ears. It made me realize that before, it would always be food that I would use to celebrate - or to cheer me up when I was feeling bad - or to just wallow in my misery. Those days are over! Now - if I need to celebrate - I'll do it with clothes - or jewelry - or something else that I love and will not make me back into who I was. I'm just really happy now! :)

Another Week - Another Change

My scale is -slowly- moving downward - but I am not feeling as depressed as I could be - because I finally started measuring with inches. If there is one thing I can advise - it is to start measuring your inches right away. In the past week - I've lost only about 4 lbs - but I've gone down FULL INCHES AND MORE everywhere on my body. Everyone is commenting on how good I am looking. I can fit into smaller clothes. I see what everyone was trying to say when they said "Don't let the scale be your God!" It is not the be all and end all - it is not even the most accurate tool. Listen to your clothes. Listen to your feeling of well being. And know that this is working!

Another Week - Still Happy

My weight is still creeping downwards - and my clothes are still getting bigger. Bought some goal outfits - both mini goal (16's) bigger goal (7's) and final goal (1's). I'm going to do this, and it's going to be awesome! Already down so much from where I started!

Quick Update

Just wanted to give a quick update - down almost 70 lbs!! Put a picture on Facebook and for once wasn't cringing. Not where I want to be - but definitely on my way! :)

Forgot the Pic

Feeling Great!

It's amazing how much difference just a few months will make! I feel great - energetic - happy - like I can do anything! I've started a workout routine at home - because it's hard sometimes to make it to the gym - and now that it's so warm out - I spend a lot of time outside - walking and hiking. I went out last night - first time since the surgery - and while it was a bit weird not drinking when EVERYONE else was - it was okay. I even got up and danced. Sober. While I sometimes wish I could have my salads - or even a big juicy burger - I know that this was worth it. And when I reach my goal I will be the happiest I have ever been.

So Excited!!

I know this is probably a stupid thing to be excited about - but nonetheless I am VERY excited! I can eat almonds! And whole wheat crackers!! For lunch yesterday I had 5 crackers with a Laughing Cow light Swiss cheese wedge smeared on top - with 7 almonds! It was very good - and had fiber and protein. :)

Ugh - I Messed Up

So - I'm in New Hampshire for the week for work. So of course I stopped working out and am eating badly. :( The past two days I've had about a thousand calories a day - which is way more than I'm supposed to! I need to buckle down and get back on track! No more chopped salad from Outback (at 600 calories for the thing!) Back to my routine - squats squats squats - arms arms arms! I can do this!

Back Home and Doing Great!!

Finally back in my normal habitat lol! Got my workout in - eating light - bright skies ahead! Went to my cousin's house yesterday and she gave me a bunch of clothes that are too small for me now - but soon wont be! Everything from a 14 to a 2. And best of all? Free! Getting back to my walking and hiking - plus my weights workout everyday. I figure if I lose 10 lbs a month - which seems to be the norm - it will take a little less than a year from now to get to my goal. I'm good with that! I got this - I can do it! And F' all the haters who tell me I can't!

So Weird

So I went to see my NUT for the first time since the surgery. I thought she would yell at me because I've been slowly creeping closer and closer to 800 calories a day, and the last time I went to my doctor he told me to stay at 500. Come to find out, she told me I'm actually supposed to be at 1000-1100 calories a day right now! So those days in NH when I thought I did really bad, because I was up to 1020 calories? That was right where I was supposed to be! She did yell at me for one thing, and that's my liquid intake. I'm still only getting about 30 oz a day, and I know that's not good! I really have to work on it! She says even if I can't do the 80 - I HAVE to do at least 64. Here's to drinking lots more water! The weird thing (hence the title today) is that ever since she told me that I am supposed to be eating MORE, I've actually been eating LESS! I didn't even reach 600 calories the last few days! I'm just not hungry anymore. People warned me that this could happen, that at about three months you lose your hunger, but they also said that in the beginning you wouldn't be hungry either and I was. So now I have to force myself to eat, but I'm afraid that because I don't feel hungry, I'm going to force too much and that will be even worse. So measure measure measure I will. On a good note - I'm down in the 230's! I'm feeling great - so much energy - and I'm doing things I haven't done in years! I was at the grocery store last night, and I couldn't reach something on the top shelf. (I'm only 4'11") So I climbed onto a chair that was there and got it down. Same thing in the freezer section. Climbed right up into that thing! I forgot how much I used to love climbing. Maybe this summer I'll try rock climbing? You know, not the real thing lol, but maybe a wall at a gym type thing? Excited to try new things!

Feeling Good :)

A Better Picture

I think this picture shows better how far I've come, without the bulky black sweater. :)

Just A Comparison

I look at this - and I am astounded. Beyond euphoric. Just can't believe it. I have come so far. I know I can do this - this is all the proof I need!

Fun in the Sun(day)

First of all - Happy Mothers Day to all of the mothers and single fathers out there! I went to my mom's - it was nice - gave her all of her gifts. After that it was off to Misquamicut. I love the ocean. I guess it's probably from growing up with it. Walked along the beach - collecting rocks and shells - got a workout in without even feeling like it. Beautiful day today - so glad summer is coming! Trying to stick to my 1000 calories a day - but it's hard. I want to stop at like 800 - it feels so wrong going up to 1000! But I'll stick it out a few weeks - see how it goes. I even give myself little splurges. Today I had half of a small Decaff Iced Coffee from Dunkin. Jamocan Almond Fudge. It was quite tasty - and I'm still under my calories for the day. :) Dinner is turkey chops. Kinda like pork chops - but made with turkey lol. But boy did that ocean air tire me out!

Two Steps Forward - One Step Back

I've been struggling lately. Eating things I shouldn't. Still staying under my calories - but with the wrong foods. Yesterday - I had a cheeseburger from Burger King - including the bun! It didn't feel too good - and it didn't even taste good. I've been having battered and deep fried foods. All in all - just not sticking to the plan. It's time to get back on track. Starting today - I am sticking with the plan. No battered food. No deep fried food. No bread. Just lean meats - fruits - veggies. The good stuff. I got this.

Almost 5 Months

So I haven't been able to get on much - in the process of moving so no internet - but I figured I'd take the time now. Been struggling a bit with food choices. Now that I can eat anything - I sometimes eat the wrong things. But I'm correcting that. No more four cheese Italian blend. No more cookies. Gonna do better. Down over 100 lbs since my highest weight - and 60 since the surgery. Getting ready for summer - going to be out every day - hiking and swimming and just having fun! :) Here's to a great summer!

Been Six Months

I see a difference - do you? I am so happy with the way things are going. I know some people drop faster than me - and while sometimes that bugs me - I am okay with the way things are going. This gives my skin time to bounce back, right? Adding a few photos - tell me what you think!

Think A Mantra Would Help?

I know what one of my biggest problems is - and guess what? It's one of the same problems I had before surgery. I eat something because it's good - not because I am hungry. Maybe it comes from growing up in a house with 7 children. If you didn't eat it then - it was gone. You like dinner? Get your fill - there are no left overs. You bought yourself something good? Eat it all - if it goes in the fridge - it's GONE! So now - I find myself eating even when I'm not hungry. Because even though I live alone - in my mind - if I don't eat it now - I won't be able to later. I also grew up in a home that even if you were not hungry - you had to finish your plate. Still struggle with that one. It feels so wrong pushing away - there are starving kids in Africa you know! Not so much with restaurant plates - because those things are huge. But when I make my own plate - all measured out and nice - it's very hard for me to not finish it. So I think every morning - I will look in the mirror and say "I will not eat when I am full" and before I start eating - I will look in the mirror and say "I will not eat when I am full" - as often as needed. Because otherwise - I will soon be right back in the same boat. So say it with me guys!! "I will NOT eat when I am FULL!!!"

Time for another picture?

I think it is time for another picture lol - never would have done this a year ago - but I actually like taking pics of myself now and seeing my progress :)

Feeling So Awesome!!

So I cut fruit out of my diet. Completely. Ugh, it was hard. I love fruit. But so many carbs! And I found it was worth it! I went from losing 2-3 lbs a week - to in the past four days I'm down 5 lbs. 11 lbs to go til Onderland!!
Dr. Tousignant

Dr T. is awesome! He knew I was serious and hasn't been dragging his heels. Three months after my first appointment is the date of my surgery!

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I would like it too, because you look so good!
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Thank you! I feel good :)
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I'm considering having this surgery. But have a few questions. What if you are unable to stop losing weight? If you eat to much will you throw up? Can you drink alcohol?
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Once you reach your goal weight you can change your eating habits to maintain. It's possible to gain after a few months with this surgery, so no you wouldn't continue to lose. Yes, you'd throw up, and be in pain, no you can't ever drink alcohol again, it's worthless calories. Hope that helps! RS has a forum on VGS surgery, and a lot if questions are answered there too.
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What Allie said - more people have issues with not losing enough weight because they think that the surgery is all they need - not realizing that they still have to change their lives - change their habits. You can still overeat - you can still make the wrong choices of what you eat - you have to choose to be better. With the alcohol - I've heard different stories. You CAN drink - after a while - but again - it's about SHOULD you. Because it is empty calories.
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Thanks. I was all for this until my mom told me of someone that had the surgery and can't stop losing. She says he looks like a skeleton
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Recognising the problem and owning it is the start of the battle. It didn't take me long to realise I still have all the same hang ups about food that I had before, I just can't eat much. But when we get a few months out like you, we can eat a bit more and that's when the danger starts. Try and go back to basics, this is what I was told. Fill your sleeve with the nutritionally best things first, your protein. Don't ever eat a bite bigger than a grape, and stop eating after 20 mins whether you have finished or not. Chewing well, and eating 'mindfully' helps, in other words no TV, books or iPad when you're eating. Look at your food and really taste it. Would it help to fill your sleeve with fluid if you know you will be around your triggers? I find if I drink a lot I physically cannot eat. Don't struggle alone, we're all in this together.
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I'm doing a lot better now that I recognize it's an issue. I ask myself (sometimes three times) if I am really hungry before I eat. I stopped eating carby fruit (although it broke my heart) and upped my protein. And it's working. I was losing about .4 lbs a day. Last night I lost .8 lbs. Now just have to work on my water intake. Still. Always. Averaging 30 oz a day :(
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Fruit is tough but I read at the dietician's that just six grapes are our sugar intake for the day. I knew they had a lot of fructose, but not how much! The water is a constant battle. I'm kind of lucky in that I don't work, so all I do, whatever else I'm doing, is sip sip sip. But I find water tastes wrong to me now. Dehydration slows the metabolism though, so we gotta keep trying!
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Never compare yourself to others, everyone loses differently and all that matters is that you are losing and getting healthier every day. I can really tell from your most recent pictures! Choosing the same dress is a genius idea, it gets longer on you with every new pic, and you look fantastic. I think you've done amazingly well in those six months.
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Thanks so much! It helps to hear encouragement :)
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oh boy, I havent had my surgery yet, thinking next month, your scaring me lol, I am so afraid of making bad choices once I can eat again. quess this isnt the total answer, ( as they do tell me ) we still have to make conscious choices to eat right huh ?? terrified Im going to mess this up !!
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Just remember - even if you go off track - like I did a little bit - you can always get yourself right back on! This definitely isn't the total answer - but it does help. A lot. And when you see the lbs melting off - it's a lot easier to make the right choices - and to correct yourself when you may have made the wrong choices! :)
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You may even find your taste changes completely, I've read that several times.
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I'm a newbie. I am going for my first consultation with my surgeon on Jul 7. I'm a little scared, but I have thought about doing this for a few years. My doctor first put me in touch with a nutritionist, did that for a few months, lost a few pounds here and there but nothing significant. This was done as a prerequisite from the plastic surgeon to do liposuction. I was unsuccessful in losing the required 40 lbs, so I abandoned that scheme. I continued following a healthy diet and exercise program, taking my vitamins, drinking as much water as I could stand without gagging. I have been at the same weight (240lbs) for the last 5-10 years, only losing a few pounds at a time, gaining some of them back. I did the Insanity exercise program, the P90X, the Hip-hop name it, I have done it. I took zumba classes forever, I went to the gym religiously 3 times a week until January this year when I said enough...none of this is working! I've tried Nutrisystem, Weight Watchers, Jenny Craig. Nothing worked. So I finally made the decision to have the sleeve done and I am scared...I hope all goes well. My family is with me 100%, so I have a good support system. I don't have any friends, so I thought I would join this group to find some kindred souls to share my journey with.
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How did your consult go? This group was wonderful for me. It helps me to get out everything that I'm feeling - without feeling bad or censored. If you need more friends that have gone through this - you can add me on myfitnesspal too :) I'm brennaadd
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You're going to have the best summer ever. It must be hard when you can eat again, at the moment the thought of it freaks me out, but I know you can build on your great successes. That pic of you in the same shirt is staggering!! There's not one point on your body that's not smaller. That must feel so good. I'll be thinking of you by that ocean!
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Thanks so much! Already it's so much better - I'm no longer embarrassed to be seen in my swimsuit - and my eating is getting better. I just had to remind myself what this is for - everything I've put my body through - and make the choice to be healthy. Again.
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I love the latest pic, you look so young now. If you're married I would just like to warn your other half that there is going to be a lot of attention coming your way! :) you do look wonderful hun, I want to say thanks to for keeping us updated even though you've had your surgery, it's a real help to those of us behind you on the road.
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Thank you! :) No, I'm not married - still single - for now :) And thank you for continuing to read my journey. The surgery is not the end - it's just the beginning! :D
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Woo hoo, single huh? You'll be beating them off with a stick :)
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Wow sounds like ur doing great!!! Good job u sound really happy! That's awesome to know... Glad things get better... I'm going through a rough patch right now .:(
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Ugh - I've been through a few - just hang tight - I promise - it gets better! There were times that I just sat and cried for no reason at all. It's a lot to do with hormones too. But it's sooo worth it!
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Ok thank uuu
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this is a much better picture dear ! great job!!
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