Scared Stiff - Mississippi

Ok, I am 26 with 5 children. My last two were...

Ok, I am 26 with 5 children. My last two were twins. Ages 9, 7, 2, and 3 months. I know it will still be a while before I can have the surgery but I am scheduled for a consult Feb 24 so I can get as much information as possible before I have it done. I have the so called "twin skin". It isn't as bad as most I've seen but its still enough to make me feel bad about my body.

My husband has been great. He swears it doesn't bother him, but seriously, how could it not? He's being super supportive of whatever I want to do.

My biggest worries are about the surgery. I'm scared of going under, I'm worried about blood clots, wound healing and scar tissue forming a weird and ugly scar. I've previously had 3 c-sections and my ob said there was a LOT of scar tissue. So it worries me that I may end up having complications with a tt scar if my body makes so much scar tissue. O..what to do..I want it very badly but I keep reading all these ladies on here who say its not worth it or that they had really bad experiences. Any words of wisdom would be greatly appreciated!

Tupelo Plastic Surgeon

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I just read your question about the swelling on top of your belly button. Did that ever went away? I have the exact same problem and my doctor did aspiration but nothing came out, i had my px in miami but i live in nyc so i can't see the doctor. I'm dying to know!!! lol he said is more likely swelling, fingers crossed!
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My husband, too, was super supportive although he would occasionally say something like he hated to see me in pain. However, he, just as I expected, was so strong through the whole thing, and now...NOW his is absolutely crazy about the result! He will be so happy, and you'll be just fine. Don't worry--focus on the positive and it will go much easier.
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Mommy, since you are lucky to have extra time to get in shape for this surgery, I suggest you do things like planks to get a stronger core and back. Anything to strengthen the back will be good. I don't know about others, but my back has gotten the worst of this deal. I cannot wait until I can go to the chiropractor and get my back "un-jacked". I like your mantra "happy stories" and yes you can be one of them, keep believing that!
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I keep trying to say to myself...."there are so many happy stories and you can be one of them too."
I just keep repeating keep repeating keep repeating! lol
It will still be a while before I have my surgery, closer to May. Because I'm waiting on my husband to have some time off from work to help with kids. Besides that I just had a c-section in October and I want time for my body to heal and get in better shape right before surgery.
Good point about that is time to lose more weight and have better body before surgery, bad point in waiting is the anxiety of the wait. It feels like it is hanging over my head. But I love this site, by far its the best one I've found, so supportive and the PS advice is great.
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Very soon it will be you posting your awesome tummy pictures on the site :)
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I'm sorry you are so worried. Your worries are very common on here! Cass said it well, that it does affect your self esteem. It is not just a vanity issue. If you want this badly, those feelings will not go away. I went back and forth on it for 10 years. I was afraid of dying and hated my belly, but didn't think it was worth dying for. Have you had a physical yet? Your General Phys will tell you, as well as PS, if you have any risk factors. It wasn't until about 2 weeks pre-surgery that I really stopped obessessing about death and I was actually calm before I went into the OR. Don't let fear or negative talk from others change your mind. If your husband supports you and you want to be "you" again then you should keep moving forward on this. Best of Luck on your decision.
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Don't take this the wrong way. I am so glad you posted this. I am feeling the samethings you are feeling. I can't help you out on easing your fears because I have not done it yet and I am experiencing the same as you. I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone in your thoughts.
I am sure there are many women here who can help ease our fears and that is truly why I am totally addicted to this site.
thanks for sharing your concerns, it not only helps you out, but it helps others, like me, deal with these issues too.
Take care
~Julie
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Well, I had my consult today. They had a cancellation and got me in earlier. I like the doctor, he seems nice. He discussed all the risks with me. Turns out, I have a bad hernia in need of repair which he warned me that it's bad enough it could cause me to lose my belly button. Has this happened to any of you? I have terrible separation of abdominal muscles.
He told me that I was a good candidate for the procedure but I still can't wrap my mind around the risks. I'm terrified of dying from this. I've heard so many horror stories, and I know they are mostly rare BUT if your the ONE it happens to its 100%. Dr.Craig even said that. I've heard of people becoming septic later, or blood clots, or anesthesia complications. This is terrifying to me. I have 5 gorgeous children and a husband that loves me more than anything. I am trying to tell myself it will all be fine that people have this surgery every day and I'm in good health so all should be well. I'm not worried so much about the pain (I know that will pass with time) just the complications.
I can't tell any of my family what I'm having done or the judgement would be harsh. I already mentioned to them I have to have a hernia repair and sorta slid in that I might have muscle repair and they all said well as long as your not doing it for vanity reasons. They said if I was doing it for health reasons they understood but not for vanity. Told me that if I died for vanity reasons how would my kids and husband feel. In other words made me feel terrible about even thinking of doing this. I live in a small town and don't have anyone to talk to that I trust enough not to talk.
Just scared period.
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I can relate. I have had many panic attacks after seeing something horrible on the internet and I talked to the PS and all the nurses and they made me feel much better. Make sure you talk to your PS and go over all the worries. I am sure everything will go perfect and you will love the new you.
As for your family, some people just dont understand how badly your self asteem can affect your marriage and your every day life. I feel the same as you and hear the same thing you do from your husband. I feel my belly is just nast and my husband said it doesnt bother him and he liked how soft it feels (nasty) but I dont see how someone would like the way it feels or looks. My little sisters say its nasty and so did my mom. Granted they say it looks better since I lost weight I disagree I think it looks way worste. Over all its worth the boost in your self esteem! Good luck!
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HELLO MOMMMY OF 5 SEE I HAD 2 C-SECTIONS AND I HAD THE SURGERY SO FAR NO PROBLEMS ONLY WITH MY FIRST BOWEL MOVEMENT LOL, BUT IT FEELS LIKE A C-SECTION AT FIRST BECAUSE OF THE CUT, BUT ITS ACTUALLY FASTER TIME OF STANDING UP STRAIGHT AND YOUR SITTING UP IN NO TIME, JUST DONT EVEN THINK ABOUT LIFTING UP THE BABY EVEN IF THEY CRY FOR YOU.

YOU MIGHT WANNA FEEL LIKE U CAN DO STUFF QUICK, BUT DONT, RELAX AS MUCH AS YOU CAN. AND ASK YOUR DOC ANY QUESTIONS EVERY QUESTION...

*** AND HELLO 3BOYS 1 PRINCESS HOW ARE YOU...
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Hi Mommyof5,

The surgery is totally worth it and the pain in temporary.  You run a risk with any surgery but if you follow your doctors instructions, stay positive and healthy you will be fine.

Over the years I had three previous abdominal surgeries so had horrible scarring in the same area (c-section) line.   My doctor did not say that it would be any problem.  In fact the area looks much better now after the tummy tuck.  He removed all of the thick scar tissue and I now have just the one fine and flat line from the tummy tuck.  And I think my scar looks pretty amazing now. 

With any procedure you run risks and will hear horror stories but just stick to the positive; and stay around positive people.   It is good to read up and educate yourself but don't fix on the negative.  Yes this procedure causes pain, swelling and anxiety during the prep.  But that all passes and you end up with a nice new flat tummy. 

So go ahead and treat yourself to this and be happy.  Do your research, meet with at least three doctors and start the prep.   I like people to go into this with the facts and then prepare themselves for the worst.   Everyone heals differently so don't base anything totally on someone elses experience. 
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Hello and Welcome! :)

I totally agree with 46ky. Don't read the "nots" there are waaaaaay more worth its.

My husband is exactly like yours very supportive of my choice. I like that and I think that is very helpful. I too have worries about the surgery, but my biggest concerns are the recovery with my kids. I have 4. (9, 7, 5 and 2.)

You have found a great place to answer questions and make you feel better. Utilize the positives of the website and not the "nots"

Best of luck to you!
~Julie
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Mommyof5, the best advice I can give you is to read less of the not worth it's and more of the worth it's. I started out on here reading the "nots" and it was terrifying. I started reading the "worth its" and there are alot more of them, and some are so inspiring and really take the fear away. I'm 47 and 14 days post-op. My biggest fear was anesthesia. First, anesthesia has improved from years ago and it is very safe for most people. I started thinking also if I had appendicitis or gallbladder, etc. I wouldn't worry about going under as much as I was for this elective procedure. I think we worry because we have that option. But people go under every day and the ones that have a problem with it usually have a problem somewhere else in there body (heart, blood pressure, etc) and you will be checked for all that before surgery. You are young and if you are relatively healthy and in somewhat fit, you will do fine! Blood clots, I was told, was nothing to worry about. My age could increase my risk ever so slightly, but not really. So, ask lots of questions and read the "worth its". Over time, you will start to feel less anxious and more excited. Good Luck!!
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