Mommy Makeover: Stories

I'm 37 and a mother of four kids that I nursed. I had two of my kids vaginally and two via c-section. I also had my appendix out when I was a child. The c-section incisions are in two different spots. Thus I have three different scars on my abdomen. I am 5'7" and somewhere between 137-140 lbs. I try to run a few times every week and I love yoga. I also have Hashimoto's disease--that is a low functioning thyroid that I take meds for every day. I'm scheduled for a breast lift/augmentation (saline), tummy tuck, and Dr. said maybe liposuction at the end of March. I was born with an amazing body that could get pregnant at the drop of a hat and carry babies forever. My body could push any size baby out and feed that baby. After it all was said and done, though, certain parts of my body could not bounce back. Not at all. My husband loves and supports me no matter what. This I am thankful for. I struggle every day with feelings of anxiety, fear of the unknown and guilt about this. Nevertheless, I still want to do it. I almost wish that I would have been able to schedule my "procedures" for sooner rather then later so I don't have to sit and marinate in these feelings every day. Just get it over with already!

I feel ready for the tummy tuck. But the breasts are a different story. I'm still unsure about it. I'm not sure I'm keen on having foreign objects in my body. I wear a 36B Victoria's Secret bra. And I am completely happy with that. I don't want big boobs. I repeat: I do NOT want big boobs. I had them when I was pregnant and nursing and big boobs are not my style. That said, I'm fairly sure I don't want the flap jack boobs I currently have, either. Words I would like to use to describe my chest some day are: "perky", "pert", "athletic". I want the same size chest, just pumped back up to where they were. Unfortunately with the little amount of flesh that is left in them, I don't think a lift will look very good. I head in this week to get another consultation. I'm hoping the good Dr. will be able to help sooth some of my anxiety about this process.

I went back to my PS for a second consult and I'm feeling better about the breasts. I felt like he had a good understanding of where I want to be size-wise. I was also able to share photos with him of where I wanted to be. I was less freaky and nervous, I think. The appointment didn't take long, but I think I got all of my questions out and he told me to come back if I needed to.

I wish I could fast forward to March 22nd. Right now it doesn't seem real. The waiting game continues. February is a short month and I'm sure it'll fly.

I'm looking for input on what to tell my kids who range from teenager to preschool. What do you say? I plan to tell my eldest what's going on closer to the time and keep it top line for the preschooler: "Mom doesn't feel good.", but what about the middle kids? I also don't want this shared with anyone so I need to make that clear. I don't plan on telling them anything until the date is much closer. Any ideas are welcome.

So I'm still over a month out. I'm still researching, researching, researching... The good news is that some of my anxiety has faded a bit. I am now resolved about my decision to get this done. After much soul searching ultimately, it is what I really want for myself. I feel pangs of excitement now and then about looking different--better. And my guilt level has evened off into something I can occasionally put into the back of my mind instead of constantly nudging me from the front.

I think I feel better because: a)I went for the 2nd consult b)told my mother and sister and c)I have this site to soak up as much information as I possibly can so I can be as informed as possible.

The age old silicon vs. saline debate has arisen as a result of my research and I need some insight. First a little background:

As I stated above I do not want big breasts. I made that clear to my PS with my words and photos. I only want to fill in the skin that is there. I don't want this to be noticeable. I don't want people wondering if I "had any work done". I am doing this for me. I basically want my body put back into as much order as it was prior to having kids--as much as possible any way. I realize a PS is not God.

My PS recommended saline at the 1st consult. I say, "Saline? I don't want to have those ridges or look like I have baseballs on my chest." He says, "YOU won't." I try on the implants with hubby...small implants...I'm talking that I "tried on" 150 cc's and I felt that was MORE then ample. (Insert clip of Hubby in corner of exam room shaking head at small implants, whispering "bigger, BIGGER".) Now after the fact I realize that those try on sessions really seem to be a tough way to gauge the actual cc's that you should have. I'm getting that the number of cc's you should have seems more based on your body, weight, height, etc... AND PS tells me that he always goes a little bigger because once they are in you, it takes away from the actual volume you see in your breast. We leave 1st consult thinking 150 saline is the magic number/type.

Fast forward to 2nd consult. Now I'm more informed, less nervous, and armed with photos of HIS work of the gals that I would like to look like. Also a catalogue clipping of a very athletic gal in a cute swim suit just to really get my point across. I ask all of my questions including:

(This is not a word for word account. Completely my interpretation.)
-Have you ever had anyone get sick from implants?
answer: no
-Have you ever had anyone have them taken out?
answer: yes a few, because they just couldn't get used to them and it was typically those women that received the larger implants.
-You sure about saline? I have a girlfriend who can SEE the ridge under her arm by her armpit of the actual saline implant. I don't want that.
answer: yes, I honestly don't think with the size that you want that you will be able to tell the difference between saline/silicone. The fact that you are active (I run and do water sports) is also a good reason to have the saline.
-What type of implant are you using?
answer: low profile saline. Your wide chest and desire for a smaller implant call for it.
-Where are you placing it?
answer: In between the pec major and pec minor making a pocket.
-I still want my nips perky, pointing up, right?
answer: Yep!

So there it is. Thoughts? I trust this guy as much as I trust any doctor. I don't want to go back in a year or even five and have them put in silicone because I can see the ridges. If I'm doing this, I want to do it right. But on the other hand I am a little nervous about housing silicone in my body. I appreciate any insight or information on this topic.

Time is flying. March 22nd will be here before I know it.

To do this week: Schedule my physical/check up with my regular doc (Was anyone else nervous to tell their doctor?), pay for my procedure, and keep exercising.

Am I the only one still questioning getting implants? I'm still struggling with the idea. One day I'm fine and confident with it, and the next day I'm not. I made the mistake of watching a video of the lift procedure. If you haven't done this, don't. I do not recommend it, you aren't missing anything.

Lately I just feel like a spaz about this whole thing. Could be that time of the month?

The dirty deed is done. I have officially paid for my "procedures" in full. I'm locked in. There's no going back. Today is the two week mark. I've also tied up some other loose ends since my last update:

-I scheduled my checkup with my regular doc.
-I asked my mother to care for my kids.
-I purchased some pjs, sports bras that zip in the front, and an outfit to wear to/from my appointment.

I'm still a basket case. However, I've noticed that I am able to keep it to a low roar lately. Who would have thought that my mother, of all people, would be my voice of reason? Not me. But she was! I'm ashamed of myself for not giving her more credit. I love her. Her words of wisdom: "You're over thinking. Don't do it to yourself. You'll look back and wonder why you made such a big deal out of this. I did it to myself too over things. With age you figure out that these things are small potatoes. And besides, when it all boils down to it, no one really gives a shit what you do in your private life." Well Hallelujah! I told her "Thank you for not judging me." Her response? "What do I have to judge anyone about?" *Sigh*

Apparently the next time I should expect to hear from my PS office is 2 to 3 days prior to my surgery. I need to give myself permission to get excited about this. I need to throw off this mantel of guilt and anxiety I'm wearing. I wish needing to = doing sometimes. Thanks to everyone that's communicated with me over this last month+.

My next "to do's" are to gather up some supplies to make me most comfortable after. I've been checking the forum and other people's blogs for hints. I'm a minimalist so I won't be purchasing a recliner or a hospital bed. I will be using a stool to get in and out of my own bed.

>Extra pillows of course
>Some protective sheet or plastic for the bed.
>I am considering the toilet thingee, however we have handicap bars installed, so would I still need it?
>Some pads, tape, neosporin
>Stool softener/constipation remedy

If I'm missing an absolutely MUST HAVE, let me know. I also need to get some healthy groceries, but that will probably be the last thing I do.

T-minus 6 days and counting. I went for my physical today and it was great. My regular doc was extremely positive about this and gave me some good input. She even told me she can't wait to see my results. Why was I nervous about that again?? DUH. Sometimes I marvel at my own stupidity.

We have illness at our house and I'm praying that I stay healthy. I'm eating well, drinking and taking vitamin C. It would be just my luck to get something, but I'm not going to think of it that way. I'm going to force myself to stay positive. Everything is going to work out as it should, right?

I anticipate this next week being a week of more preparation for Thursday: last minute shopping, eating well, sleeping well, and lots of POSITIVE thoughts. I'm still scared shitless and it's really hard to be excited. Reading about everyone and seeing photos in this community helps. I hope everyone is good.

Tomorrow is THE day. I'm trying not to think about it. They called me yesterday from my PS office to confirm everything. I'm going minute by minute: one minute I'm fine, the next I'm panicked.

Questions: What did you wear home from your procedure? Are you able to get dressed after? The PS office told me that most people wear their hospital gown and a robe home. I bought a hoodie and sweatpants, is it realistic to think it'll go back on after I'm through? I'm expecting the worst when I wake up. I've had past not-so-nice experiences with narcotics (cue the puking). So I'm expecting that I will probably be pretty out of it, but yet I don't want to get wheeled out into the world in my skivvies, either. Input please!

Also, this might sound stupid, I know none of this is paid for by insurance, does that include the prescriptions? I know, dumb, but it doesn't hurt to dream. :D

On all other fronts things are really good. I catch myself chastising myself about that. Why am I purposely doing this to myself when I am so blessed already? I'm deliberately hurting myself and throwing everything into a spin. But I need to not think that way. I have to put those thoughts away now. I'm praying for quick healing. I'm praying that my PS gets the BEST night's sleep and that his hands are EXTRA skilled tomorrow. (WINK WINK).

I'm off to get some additional supplies. Wish me luck. I need it.

I made it. Puked like a chicken. Can't say much yet. Seeing PS tomorrow. Hope everyone is well.

2 Days PO
So here I am. It seems surreal that I went through with it. But I did. We went in early Thursday and after a few tears, I was put under. When they woke me up I was wrapped up like a burrito and feeling little or no pain, just tight. Come to find out they not only hooked me up with pain pumps but also a catheter. YAY! I know I talked up a storm sitting there in recovery, but I don't remember a thing we talked about. They gave me a valium there and some crackers. I seem to remember putting down about 3 bottles of water. But again, that amount could be skewed a bit. ;)

When we got home and I got in bed the puking commenced. By this time I had put down almost an entire bottle of Gatorade so my puke was looking more like the juice in my drains then puke. YUCK. I think I hit the pail for the most part. (Hubby was and is an angel.) We call my PS and the on-call doc got back immediately and suggested a can of plain Coke to help settle my stomach. We tried it and whatdya know?! It worked! Hubby was relieved. I don't think he was up for giving me a suppository. HA! I didn't take any other pain pills for the rest of that night. And since then all I've been taking is Advil and a muscle relaxer for bed time. Last night my hubby helped me take the catheter out.

So I've been doing a ton of bed, and tv. With the help of a small ladder and stool I can proudly get in and out by myself. This morn was a checkup with my PS. He changed my dressings and showed me how to move my implants. Oh yah, I forgot that I got 150cc's saline in each breast and they are PERFECT. Of course swollen, but when they go down they'll be perfect. Doc also showed us how to take out the pain pumps. They're due to run out tomorrow afternoon. AND I can shower today! This is good news as I'm growing tired of the oil slick on my face and the dead cat that is masquerading as the hair on my head.

I go back to PS on Thursday hoping to get the three drains out. Crossing fingers and toes. I'm curious to see what the pain is going to be like once the pumps run out. I have very little actual pain. It's just a lot of tightness. One thing I am super pumped about is that they did not have to cut around my areolas. He said I picked the perfect size and the nurse told me I should only go up about a 1/2 cup size. EXACTLY what I was hoping for.

Hoping to post photos in the next few days. I'm not up for taking any today. Just feeling like sitting here so that's what I'll do. No visit from the poop fairy yet. But I'm not concerned. I feel some rumblings down south but I'm not uncomfortable. I'm confident it'll happen in time. :) In the meantime I'm eating lots of yogurt, applesauce, jello, dried fruit, almonds, oh and I had two chicken sandwiches for lunch and supper last night.

Hope everyone is good. Healing thoughts to you all.

Welcome to Day 3
Well, first let's rewind to last night. I was able to take a shower. It was good, not great. It'll be better when I can get in there and not have to worry about all of this hardware hanging off of me. Taking off my compression garment and not getting snaggled in all of the tubes was a puzzle. With hubby's help I managed. Love him.

This morning I woke up feeling good. A muscle relaxer and ibuprofen before bed is the ticket for me it seems. I made coffee AND pooped. I ate and took my medicine like a good girl. Did anyone else get a pack of steroids to take for 5 days post op? Just curious. PS claims it gives the healing process a jump start. I'm taking that, my antibiotic, my thyroid pill, and ibuprofen during the day. One muscle relaxer at night.

My pain pumps are due to run out today or tomorrow and I'm wondering if, when they're gone I'm going to hit a wall of pain? Does anyone have experience they can share with me?

I just woke up from a nap and ate. Feeling a tad dizzy now going to lay my head down more. Kids are wondering when I'm going to feel better and actually get out of bed. This part sucks. There is absolutely nothing I can do about it. They look at me like "What the hell is wrong with you?"

That's all I can think of. I'm grateful for boring. Wishing boring for everyone else on this journey, too. Drama sucks. HUG.

Adding some post op photos. Stomach view will come later. Haven't had a chance to snap any of that yet.

Post Op Day 4
We pulled the empty pain pumps last night. Did not hurt. It felt really good to get rid of those two fanny packs. So far I've noticed very little difference in my pain levels since they've been out. RELIEF.

I celebrated semi-freedom by waking up this morning making coffee, washing my hair and face in the sink and making my bed. It felt good, but it made me tired. I've been laying around since. Trying to listen to my body. I took advice from other gals on this site and have been making an effort in the mornings to change out of my pajamas and get somewhat dressed. I think it helps my mental state. I even tried blow drying my hair--this didn't last long.

Hubby left out of town this afternoon. He'll be back tomorrow. I'm hoping he can help me shower again when he returns. I think I could do it myself if I didn't have to hook back into this garment. Getting out is one thing, getting in is a WHOLE different animal. Speaking of the garment. Has anyone had any issues with the drain tubes under the garment being uncomfortable. We had to mess with them to try and find a placement that didn't hurt. The drains suck but my PS really impressed on us the importance of them and their role in the healing process. I'm trying to keep this in mind and have patience and love for my drains. HA! Ok, well not exactly love, but maybe deep like?

What did you wear on your sister-friends after your lift/aug? My PS sent me home in a cami with a shelf bra. I don't have any other camis like that and it's being washed so I put on a sports bra that zips in the front for now. Any thoughts?

That's news for today. Positive thoughts to everyone. See you tomorrow.

Day 5
This has been pretty much a repeat of yesterday. I get up in the morning ready to rumble but by lunch I'm bushed. Still walking like a hunch back. I don't have to use my step stool to get in and out of bed any more.

I find I am sleeping sooo good at night. And I really look forward to bed time. I've been alternating Ibuprofen with Tylenol during the day and taking one muscle relaxer at night.

One of my drains is almost putting nothing out. The others are getting less all the time.

Suffering from kid guilt. They keep asking me when I'm going to get out of bed. :(

I stink. I can't wait for tonight. I'm showering.

Day 6
I'm really glad it's Wednesday of this week, rather then Wednesday of last week. Looking back it was not fun anticipating this whole thing. I'll take the healing any day over the waiting game.

Posting some photos from my shower last night. Today I am more tired then I have been this entire week. I could fall asleep standing up.

A semi-disgusting question:
Aunt Flo came to visit a whole week before my surgery. She left before I went in last Thursday. After my surgery she was BACK. And now a whole week later she's STILL hanging in here. This never happens to me. She always shows up for about a week and then is gone for good. Anyone else have a similar experience? Is this a sign of something?

When we took my CG off last night I had blisters where the drain tubes were sitting against my skin. OUCHIE.

Off to the PS tomorrow. Can't wait to hear what he has to say. I'm still draining 25cc's out of my side drains each day. I'm guessing they won't get pulled so I'm not getting my hopes up.

Happy Wednesday to you all. Positive thoughts for everyone.

Lucky #7:
I had some tears last night. A little "poor me" moment. It lasted about 20 minutes and I went to bed. But today's been a good day. I got up this morning and took a shower all by myself like a big girl. I also drove myself to my post op appt. Another first since my procedures. It felt good to be independent.

Doc pulled one of the three of my drains. I had a hunch that this was going to be the case. So I'm not too disappointed. One is better then none, right? It burned like a son-of-a-gun when he pulled it out. And I could feel it snake across my abdomen and out my left hip. But once it was out, AHHHHH. Much better. I go back Monday and he said very confidently that the other two should come out then. I'm cautiously optimistic. He took a bunch of stitches out of my belly button and incision today. Another AHHHH moment.

Otherwise everything was good. He looked at my chest and recommended that I NOT wear my zip-up-the-front sports bra, but instead keep wearing the shelf-bra cami they sent home. He said things would "settle" better. Looks like I need a trip to Target to stock up. Another positive thing he said was that I could leave my CG off for longer periods. YAY. :)

I am not as tired today as yesterday. I also have only taken 2 Ibuprofen this morning with my antibiotic. I decided I'm going to see how I feel and see if I can get rid of the meds and only take on a "need to" basis. Maybe some at night so I can crash and that's it. We'll see.

Take care.

Day 8
Some excitement this morning! I got up and "hopped" (using hopped in the loosest sense of the word) in the shower. Afterward I was drying off and noticed that my 2 remaining drains wouldn't stay compressed. I could actually hear the air squeak back into them. Called PS and they told me this was normal, to put some bacitracin around the drain site and put my dressings and CG back on, then try and compress them.

As I was putting on my CG I went to grab my middle drain and pull it through the lovely crotch hole and OOPSY it was out. Completely out. I must have pulled it out as I was fooling with my CG. I didn't feel a thing. I put my garment back on arranging my one remaining drain. We went to the store and now we're home. I left a message for my PS office, but I'm hoping this is no biggee? This drain was only putting out 1-5cc's every 12 hours anyway. On a positive note, I'm down to one drain-SCORE. :D

Like I said we had an outing to the store today. I stocked up on cami's w/ shelf bras. I felt weak walking around. Now I'm now propped up in bed. Planning on a nap this afternoon. Looking forward to the day when I don't have to don a pair of sweatpants. Getting tired of dressing schlumpy.

Have a good Friday. Hugs to all.

PO Day 10
This morning around 4am I woke up and I was sleeping on my SIDE. It was really comfortable, but I flipped to my back quick because I wasn't sure if that was "allowed" yet. Does anyone have any input on this?

Last night and this morning I've been pretty swollen. I've learned from this site that it's normal so I'm not obsessing.

But I'm curious, what is the general consensus regarding the best thing to do for swelling besides avoiding salt? Does walking help or hinder?

The other thing I'm a little curious about is my belly button. It just doesn't seem to dry up. It worries me a bit.

I go in tomorrow to have my last drain pulled. I wonder if it'll really happen because of my swelling, the fact that the other one "fell" out by itself and the amount of fluid draining out hasn't really changed too much--still in the 20-25 cc range. We'll see. I'm glad to go anyway because I want him to check my belly button.

Other then the above I feel better each day. I'm bored, though. I was able to do one load of laundry yesterday. I'm aiming for two today. Letting my body lead the way.

I've added some new photos. Healing thoughts to everyone on this road.

PS: Forgot to mention I have put on regular clothes today for the first time. It does wonders for the mental state. Self conscious about hiding my drain, though. It's not easy.

PSS: Aunt Flow is still at my house. This has to be a record visit. She's such a B****.

Day 12
I went in yesterday morning and he did not pull my 3rd and final drain. He said it's draining dark blood which is old blood and can aggravate so he wanted to wait until later this week. I was also still draining 40 cc's in a 24 hour period. Ah well, I would rather be safe then sorry.

I went without my binder today for probably 2 hours while I washed and dried my garments. It was such a strange feeling. I have very little feeling in my abdomen. The entire time I had it off I had this cold, tingly feeling. I was extra cautious. It was good to put underwear on the regular old way, though. I miss that. HA!

I'm getting around much better these days. I don't get quite as tired. Every day seems better. Frustration sets in with not being able to move as quickly as I want to. My laundry is PILING up and people are struggling to find clothes to wear to school around here. I can only do a few loads a day. I don't want to push it with lifting too much.

I'm practicing patience. I hope everyone is doing well.

Two Weeks
I went in today and he pulled my third and final drain. He emphasized the importance of me having a very quiet weekend. No twisting, no lifting. I got strict orders. He wants my abdomen to "tighten down" and does not want to increase the fluid. He's watching the area above my bb closely. It was really bruised where he did the lipo and now there are lumps there. He doesn't want it turning into fluid. He also replaced all of my tape and cleaned out my belly button. Garment stays on 24/7 until he sees me next week. I do appreciate his attentiveness.

That's my two week story. Mentally I'm frustrated. Trying to blow it off. Getting the drain out was anticlimactic. BLAH. Cry me a river, right? Bed early tonight for meee.

Happy Easter and Happy Thoughts my friends.

17 Days
So my newest development is that my sisters have started to hurt. The first couple of weeks they were mostly numb--no pain. Now they burn a little and are starting to hurt. Anyone else? And how long does this last? Is this a bad sign? Or just a sign that my nerves are growing back?

Despite having the best intentions to take it easy, it's been tough on a holiday weekend. I'm supposed to go back and see Doc this week. However I haven't made the appointment yet. It's on my list tomorrow. I'm sitting here looking at FIVE (count 'em) FIVE clean baskets of laundry that need folding and putting away. And let me just say that no one around here is going to do them unless it's me. It's starting to overwhelm me.

Good things:
I'm enjoying not having plumbing hanging off of my body.
My belly button has turned a corner and looking quite good lately.
I'm lying flat on my back at night.
I believe Aunt Flow has officially left my building. Hallelujah! It's been a month.

That's all for tonight. Saying a tiny prayer for everyone wherever you are in your journey.

22 Days - 3 Weeks (& 1 day)
This last was a tough week for me mentally and physically. But it has ended on a high note.

I'm definitely feeling more pain. Doc says it's nerves coming back. I'm also really exhausted. Which could be my thyroid combined with the healing process. I am tired of looking at everything that isn't getting done around here. I know in the back of my head that it'll get done eventually, but that doesn't really help me feel any better in the moment. Sometimes you just can't see out of the woods when you're stuck in the middle of it.

I went in for a check up yesterday and he told me I can up my activity level. I can take my dogs for walks and even lightly exercise. I should let my body and pain level be my guide. He said I couldn't wreck anything at this point. As far as the garment goes I should do the same with that. I should wear it if I feel I need it. But I can taper off. This is REALLY good news for me. I know it serves a very important purpose, but that thing really had started to bug me. My wazoo is so tired of being squeezed out of the crotch hole. And speaking of that hole, I am REALLY tired of trying to successfully "go" and wipe through it. It's like playing the game of Operation blindfolded and behind your back (or under your butt).

Last night I decided to live dangerously and sleep WITHOUT my garment. I'm happy to say it was a success! I slept on my back the whole night and this morning I got up and put on a pair of Assets shape-wear high-waisted shorts instead of the garment. So far so good. I can definitely tell I don't have my CG on, but it's not horrible. I may put it on later, but it's definitely nice to have a break.

Good things:
-My bruising is pretty much gone from my lipo.
-Doc said no fluid in my abdomen and my swelling really isn't THAT bad.
-I LOVE my chest. It's perfect. Exactly what I wanted in terms of size. I'm so pleased. It just seems to get better every day. Hubby can't quit grinning. ;)

Posting photos later today. I'm determined to have a good day. Hoping the same for everyone else.

Adding 3 week PO photos to my review and updating my status to "Worth It". Have a great weekend everyone. :)

4 weeks
Here's what went on this week:

Things are progressing. Slowly, but they are progressing. Good things...
-I can now bend over and touch my toes. It feels GREAT on my back.
-Last night, laying down, I was able to pull my knees into my chest.
-I never put my CG back on. I have been wearing the "shapewear". It's easier to hide under my clothes and I can get out of it easily to go to the bathroom.
-I don't wear anything at night except my underwear and pajamas. Still sleeping flat on my back.
-We went for a 2 mile walk and I felt tired but fabulous at the end.
-I give myself a stomach rub every night before bed. It feels good and seems to help.

I still am swollen. Not horribly, but it's there. I can wear jeans, but they have to be loose. Anything tight around my middle bothers. I think that's the way it's going to be until some more feeling comes back.

Speaking of feeling, I'm feeling TIGHT pulling in my abdomen. Just in certain spots, not all over. I'm guessing it's where he stitched me up inside? It also happens mostly at the end of the day or when I'm tired. I am looking at this as a positive thing. I wasn't able to feel anything there before. I can't wait to feel MORE.

My breasts are not as painful any more. Some shooting sensations are starting to happen, but thanks to others here, I know to expect it. I'm still doing my exercises. I am not lifting everything I used to, yet.

At night I take 3 ibuprofen. It helps me sleep. Otherwise I seem to have trouble because I'm uncomfortable. Otherwise no other meds on a regular basis unless I'm feeling sore.

Looking forward to the day when I can arch my back. I just want to stretch. I would say at this point I'm somewhere between 50-75% back to my old self.

I'm posting some photos of my incisions. I changed my tape today as it was starting to fall off. This is the first time I've actually been able to inspect my incisions close up and I am very happy. They look very mild compared to others I've had in my life.

5 Weeks
This week...

-I got cocky and took a walk without my spanks. The walk went surprisingly well, but I regretted it because of the swelling that came after.

-I started doing my laundry like I used to: lifting baskets full & hanging clothes on clothesline. Happy to say there is no pain or soreness to report.

-I am enjoying regular 2 mile walks with my two dogs (WITH Spanx).

-I purchased an Assets garment that has the regular underwear bottom with the high waist--instead of the shorts bottom to wear with shorts or thinner pants. So far so good--no wedgies to report. ;)

-I'm no longer taking Ibuprofen on a regular basis. Can't even remember the last dose I took.

-There is no more pulling/tight feeling in my abdomen. Seems like as soon as I typed it last week, it disappeared.

-I'm daily doing down dog and forward bend yoga poses easily. They feel wonderful and do great things for me mentally and physically.

-I drank my first 2 margaritas since my surgery. They politely knocked me on my ass. ;)

-I'm still giving my stomach a rub down each night. I think it helps my circulation and feels great. I have these HUGE lumps (where there was bruising from the lipo) above my belly button. They are tender when I push on them I want them to LEAVE. If I don't wear my support garment during the day they get really swollen.

-My breasts and stomach are both still numb.

-I've woken up a couple of times again sleeping my side. I flip back to my back right away and I notice no ill effects.

-I've caught myself twisting my core more frequently with no problems.

-I'm still using the paper tape. Incisions look real good.

-I'm exhausted at the end of each day.

In conclusion, I'm just puttering along in my healing process. I have to say that week 5 was another turning point for me. I actually noticed some progress. I was supposed to have an appt with my PS this week, but I've put it off and now it'll have to wait until next week.

This morning my hubby said: "Boy am I glad it isn't 5 weeks ago today. That sucked." And it really did, but now it's already over! I'm glad that I did it and I've already come so far. Thinking positive thoughts for everyone just beginning their journey here today. Take care all.

6 weeks
I almost went to bed before I remembered that it's my 6 week anniversary today. This is supposed to be the "magic" day that I'm supposed to be recovered from this whole thing. Weelll...not quite. But I'm getting there. I honestly cannot say recovery gets better every day at this point, but without question it gets better each week. I'm mostly numb in my abdomen and breasts. I'm a stomach/side sleeper and I still do most of my sleeping on my back--a little on each side, but most on my back. I am so anxious to start running again. My walks are good--just don't give the same satisfaction as a good run. I'm trying to work up to it. Some swelling is still apparent, especially at the end of my days.

I went to see my PS this week. I was instructed to continue my breast exercises for three more weeks. He also wants me to wear the paper tape on all of my incisions for 3 more weeks. Doc even gave me a bra to wear. To my pleasant surprise it was a Victoria's Secret bra--36C it is! However I may go down to a B if swelling subsides. I'm so happy with the chest. After all the worry and stress it's such a relief :) It felt good to get his update. He showed me how to bend the underwires on the bra to fit my body correctly so that they don't affect my breast pockets. Doc told me to continue to listen to my body when it comes to working out.

Good things:
-Even though I can't do "up dog" yet, I can do "plank" yoga pose for a whole 5 seconds. :)The breasts bothered me worse then the abs did during this pose. Still building those pecs I guess.
-I was late and I caught myself "trotting" to get somewhere today. In case you were wondering a "trot" is a light dash or gallop. I will consider this a good sign that running is in my NEAR future (dammit it HAS to be). :)
-I went without a CG today--ALL day. I am not noticing any unusual swelling-YAY. I still will wear it when I exercise, but I'm hoping to completely ditch these things otherwise. They are a monkey on my back--or ahem--ass, if you will.
-We changed my paper tape last night and darn it, those incisions still look real, real good: flat, skinny, and low.
-I'm wearing my regular jeans now with no problems. Numb tum still feels weird against the waist band of any fitted pant, but I try to ignore it since I believe it's going to be numb for a LOOONNNG time.
-I threw my hubby a bone this week and put out. It wasn't great from my end and I knew it wouldn't be. I took pity on him. He's been more then accommodating and patient. He is also the sweetest friend and love of my life. PLUS he adores my new look and can't stop commenting on it. Sympathy sex has its place after all. ;)

Overall things are good. I am not going to post any photos today. i don't think I've changed much in looks since last week. When I look in the mirror I LOVE the way I look. But when I look at those photos I take of myself I think they look BAD. I never was the photogenic girl. I'm chalking it up to that. Besides I've decided I'm not going to not do that to myself if I don't have to. Maybe at my 2 month anniversary? I'll see. Maybe some clothed photos--what a concept!

I hope all of the women here are well today. If you are struggling, I wish you peace. Good night. :)

2 Months - Almost 9 weeks
At 2 months PO there is so much to say. First and foremost I finally feel healed and back, and I mean REALLY back, to my old self. I don't feel much in my abdomen, or breasts yet. They are still pretty numb and I haven't noticed any progress with the feeling coming back. I'm sure it's going to be a good year for that to return. I am still exhausted at the end of the day if I ran that day. But it's a good tired and normal for me. A couple of weeks ago for about 2 weeks I had a HORRIBLE breakout of zits. I mean I felt like I was 13. And I don't even think that I had zits that bad when I WAS 13. I'm probably crazy, but I feel like it was my body de-toxing the rest of the meds and narcotics. It went ON and ON and ON. Finally this week it's on it's way out.

Good things:
-I am running again. It has been like starting from scratch--back to before I even started exercising. I am almost running a complete two miles with no stops. It's slow progress, but it feels amazing just to be able to get out there after all of this time.
-I can do ALL of my yoga poses. My abdomen is still a little tight during "up dog", and I can't plank for as long as I used to, but they are all definitely do-able. And I feel my strength slowing returning.
-I'm doing TONS of ab exercises--I have a really good App on my phone and I've been using it every other day. It's such a joy to look down and not see my poochy 3-month looking stomach while I work out.
-I am at my normal weight of 137-139lbs. NO muffin top on top of jeans or shorts any more. YAY.
-I took off my tape. All of it. I couldn't stand it any more. I don't think I'm going to be doing a lot of scar therapy. I had scars before this and I really don't mind them. Just as I don't mind my stretch marks. I feel like they are unique to me and make me who I am. I was also blessed with a skilled PS who gave me thin, low incisions.
-LOVE, LOVE my breasts. I think I've said this before, but I just am so happy about this. After all of my stressing about to do it, or not to do it, I'm so glad I DID IT. And the results are exactly what I wanted. I wanted to look like me and when I look in the mirror I still recognize myself. They are about as natural and ME as they could be. And they do not give me any trouble when I run. I've been having fun wearing bras with NO extra padding. Hubby loves them too. :)
-After stressing about whether or not to tell people or what to say to people about my new body, it turns out it's a non-issue! I am so pleased that my results are only noticeable to ME. Which is exactly what I wanted. Granted I haven't worn a swim suit in front of anyone yet, but I'm not so worried about it any more. I honestly don't think anyone will notice.

This stressful, long procedure has been TOTALLY worth it to me. I'm just realizing now at 2 months PO that I'm finally feeling like my outsides match my insides. This is what I USED to look like. This is what I have struggled to achieve with exercise and diet for years that just wasn't going to happen. I feel confident. I feel beautiful. I'm not self conscious when I am walking in the wind and it blows my shirt tight against my stomach. I no longer worry about wearing a fitted T-shirt. It's just a great feeling over all. I'm so glad I did it now and didn't waste one more minute feeling those feelings about myself. I'm excited to continue to live my life with my new body, taking good care of it and continuing to grow with my family.

My big test is going to be attempting water sports. I feel ready. I have a meeting with my PS next week and I'm going to ask if I have clearance.

BIG, BIG thank you's to all of the women here who went before me. You gave me information, knowledge, experiences, and photos which empowered me to go forward and realize this dream I've had for myself for a long time. I'm going to try and pay it forward as best as I can.

My last photos are being uploaded. Hugs to all!

3 months
My monthly anniversary is here already. Things are stable and good. I'm taking full advantage of summer and have dived back into working out. I run, bike, and weight train at least 5 days a week--sometimes 6. I still haven't built up the stamina to run my 4 mile route. My goal is to have that down by fall. On the up side, I'm doing WAY more weight training then I did prior to my procedures.

Good things:
-I have to do a double take in the mirror when I have a regular tank top on--no spare tire to constantly have to remember to suck in.
-I feel beautiful and at peace.
-Confidence has received a huge boost.
-Bedroom activity level is on the RISE!
-Stomach sleeping has re-commenced.
-I am now, once again, able to ponder the age old questions: To tuck? or Not to tuck?
-I wore a two piece showing the belly for the first time in YEARS. Was able to tan my stretch marks a bit.
-My weight is leaning more toward 135 then 140.

I'm grateful for this journey.

Almost 7 months post op
Here I am and I really wasn't going to post. But then I thought of myself before I had this done and I wouldn't have gone through with the whole thing if it wasn't for those who had taken the time to post. I think, though, that this will be my last.

Things are good here. Would I do it again? Absolutely. Did it suck? Absolutely. Did I panic, and worry, and question my decision constantly before, up to, during, and after I had it done? Absolutely.

When I look back I think that I got really lucky in terms of my doctor. I didn't do as much research as I should have. I had spoken to a friend ONE TIME and they told me this guy was good. Six months later I was in his office for my consult, where I was less then impressed. I was FREAKING OUT. Why wasn't he? I couldn't understand. Now I see. He was confident. He wasn't cocky. He knew his stuff. Thank the LORD. I went back for one other consult with him and that was it. I was in. I didn't bother to check anyone else out. I am really lucky he was who he said he was. I think that was one thing I probably should have done better--researched my options. But now, with my results what they are (AWESOME), I am glad I did end up with Dr. Leigh. He was the doctor for me. I've seen so many people with results they are not happy with. The angels must have been watching over me.

One thing I couldn't have done without is this site. It was my rock. It was the place I could research, ask questions, and weigh my pros and cons with like-minded people. It made me feel secure. No one judged me here. I was normal. I am thankful for it.

I love the results from my TT, BL, and BA. They are EXACTLY what I wanted. I even was wearing a two-piece this summer and didn't give a care if people saw my stretch marks (which btw are still in residence and things I've grown to LOVE). The scarring is also still there. And I think I said it in an earlier post, I love my scars too. They are part of me and make me who I am.

I've seen so many people doubting the size of implant they wanted to go with. I've seen people wishing they would have gone bigger after. I am not one of those people. I had doubts about getting the implants but I'm definitely glad I did. The small ones are wonderful. So far haven't seen any creases or lines from the saline implants anywhere. They are natural for me--nice and small. :) For the first time in a long time I love my body. It's the best feeling.

One thing that hasn't improved much is the numbness around the incisions. I don't know if it'll ever come back. And to be honest, I really don't care. My sex life is better despite it--WAY better. My husband can't keep his hands off of me and I don't mind! I'm not pushing him away because I'm embarrassed and not comfortable about how I look naked. I'm really glad I didn't tell people what I was doing. It wasn't anyone's business. People couldn't blatantly tell, and I am glad I'm not being judged for it over and over again. It was something I did for me and I do not regret it one bit.

So that's it for me. Life moves on--happily! Sometimes, in the beginning, I would think that I was going to be obsessing about my procedures for the rest of my life. Thankfully, I'm over myself! :) I do think about the maintenance I'll probably have to do on my implants in 10 years. Knowing what I know now, I can cross that bridge when I get to it. Sending calm, happy, and healing thoughts and feelings to everyone on this site wherever you are in your journey. All my best!