“Very Ashamed and Sad About my Breast Surgery”

After 2 of my friends had breast implants and strongly encouraged me to do it myself, I had consulted several surgeons and finally decided on a doctor that one of my friends had used. He said that it would be necessary to lift my breasts(Bellini lift)followed by implants. I really didn't want such extensive surgery, but wanted to do the best for the overall results. The Dr. said if I didn't do it this way, I would need another surgery within 5 years to lift them.

Another concern for me was to not have large breasts. I have always been a 34C and wanted to remain about that size, just a little bigger for shape. I ended up with a D+ cup size, the right breast had an infection where the nipple would not close as there was too much skin removed and the implant was too big.

I was very unhappy and also experiencing inappropriate behavior from the Dr. He had begun kissing me on the lips as a gesture of goodbye after examining my infection and replacing bandages. He informed me that men like their women to have big boobs and that they like a school teacher by day and a vixon by night. I was traumatized by the sight of my infected breast, terrified of how weak and sick I was (I was taking alot of anti-biotics and pain medication), and had given this guy all the money in savings I had, and he kept saying it was getting better and not to worry. The Dr. then confided that he thought he was very fond of me and so glad that I had chosen him and brought me a gift, I really became uncomfortable. I requested a nurse to always be in the examination room after that. The Dr. would then tell them he needed more bandages or something for them to retrieve and they would leave the room. Then I had a friend come with me. She calmly asked him why he chose to give me such large implants and his taking so much skin out of the breast. He became enraged and literally threatened to call security.

The Dr. ended up replacing the one implant to a smaller size on a Saturday when his office wasn't even prepared for a surgery. He had said that I needed to come in for a simple stitch renewal. I brought my friend who originally had encouraged me to have the surgery with him after he had done hers. She was appalled when 3 hours later I come out from this so-called "stitch-renewal" and the Dr. kissed me on the lips. He would always kiss me after giving me medication that made me very groggy and therefore less on guard.

After that surgery, I developed a high fever and had to rush to the emergency room where I was given intraveinous antibiotics. This was the last straw, I decided to not see this Dr. anymore, went to my primary care physician at Kaiser, and after several months had minor improvement.

My breast now has an ugly scar around the nipple where it wouldn't close, and I have capsular contracture which makes the shape irregular, and the breast is rock hard. I have looked into legal action, but this requires money that I don't have. It saddens me to look at my body, I usually feel ashamed and cover up as best I can. I don't want to be intimate with anyone as I am embarrassed by the way I look.

My lesson is probably not to have chosen such an expensive procedure if I didn't have more money to fix it if it went wrong. I guess I thought it would be so great and got caught up in the excitement of having a beautiful outcome.

I also worry for other women who might have to deal with this Doctor's inappropriate behavior and getting women in this vulnerable position. No one should have to endure it.