Nov. 9... One More Week!!! - Maryland
- updated 2 years ago
I have always been known for my chest. In...
- 5 Oct 2011
- 1 month pre
I have always been known for my chest. In elementary school I remember wearing an under wire bra for my size C breasts. As I got older, my chest made me stand out from my peers, and garnered the wrong type of attention. Many young men tried to date me or assumed I was overly sexual because of my breasts.
I have always been on the curvy side. In middle school my boobs popped out to a size D. I attended a very small charter school (90 students in grades 6, 7, and 8). Most of my peers were Caucasian and Asian. With the exception of a handful of girls, the majority of the young ladies in my school were very petite or athletically built. My body was very different from everyone else's, my size Ds did not help matters. I was teased incessantly for being fat. I was 5"2 132 pounds.
In high school, my physique was coveted. Young men in my school and adults would often approach me. I hated the attention and the assumption that I was fast. How do people judge you just by the size of your breast? I wore oversized everything. I wanted to hide in my clothes. I never wanted to participate in gym or any athletic activities. I was so self conscious about the bounce factor. I remember doing jumping jacking in class and my teacher yelled, "put those jugs away. We are in school." I was mortified and asked my mother to get me a doctor's exemption from gym.
During college I gained more than my fair share of the freshman 15, and I jumped to a size DD. Clothes would not fit me correctly. I started dating one of the more popular young men on campus. The rumors were that he like me because of my boobs. Right in front of me a young lady smirked and said, "is her brains in her titties"? I had an immediate flashback to high school. I did not want to be anywhere that I felt like I would be on display. I avoided parties,large group outings, and even the cafeteria. My boyfriend and I spent most of our time off campus.
A few years later, I finally managed to lose 67 pounds. I was down to a size 8 and a droppy but happy size D bra. I was exercising 5 times per week. Although my the weight of my breast made it difficult to exercise, I was able to manage.
Everything changed when I had my son. My breast and weight have skyrocketed between being pregnant and deciding to be a stay at home mommy. I was on bedrest for 6 months of my pregnancy and during that time I gained wait. After having a difficult labor and an emergency c-section, I gained even more weight. I am not as active as I once was. I am now 217 pounds and a size DDD-E. I have tried to get active several times, but the sheer weight of my breast on my small frame has made it unbearable. I am having neck, shoulder, and back pains. I hate having this pressure on my chest all of the time. All my son want to do is run around and mommy can't keep up.
I have considered a breast reduction for many years. My breast have gotten so large that they are really interfering with my quality of life. I hate not being able to be active with my son. I hope to go down to a small D or large C cup. I know I'll have the pregnant look but I don't really care. I know this will change my life and allow me to lose the weight once and for all.
I have my fears. During my c-section I was not given enough anesthesia and could feel them cutting me. They had to give me emergency medication in my IV. I also worry about the possible complications, but I can't go on like this.
Dr. Wells has been really good. Last year, I went...
- 6 Oct 2011
- 1 month pre
A year later I did some research and decided to try again. The difference between Dr. Wells and the other doctor was like day and night.
She was upbeat, positive, and informative. The only thing that left me a little uncertain is that we disagreed about my target post op size. She is a very petite woman. She is advocating for me to be a size D or even a DD. She keeps insisting that everything should be balanced and in proportion. Well, I am overweight, and I do not want breast in proportion to my current weight. I told her that I wanted to be a large C or small D. If she is thinking D or DD, then she is obviously thinking in larger terms. As the person lugging these things around, I reserve the right to want a lighter load. Hopefully we can come to a conclusion. I will change providers if needed. I have no problem with a smaller bust after losing weight. If I am going to go through this, I want a significant change.
My doctor was nice, but I don't think she is...
- 13 Oct 2011
- 27 days pre
It is also nerve-wracking that she is never available to answer my questions. I have to conduct everything through her assistants, and they are the intermediaries for our conversations. I can't proceed knowing that we do not agree on the goals and knowing that I will not see her again until the day of surgery.
Her work looks beautiful, but I need a better connection with my doctor. I am hoping my next consult is a success!
I have an appointment with a highly rated and very...
- 17 Oct 2011
- 23 days pre
I met with my doctor today, and he was wonderful....
- 18 Oct 2011
- 22 days pre
This must be fate because I was scheduled to have surgery with the first doctor on Nov. 14. I will be scheduled for either the 9th, 14th, or 16th of November. He gave me his email address and told me to call or email him with any questions. Furthermore, I will see him two additional times before the surgery. If there is anyone in my place, I would take the advice of the doctors and other real self reviews. Find a second, third, fourth opinion and do not settle!
So...Oprah mentioned that most of the women in...
- 19 Oct 2011
- 21 days pre
I went to my pre-op physical on Friday. My new...
- 22 Oct 2011
- 18 days pre
Hopefully, I can calm my nerves. I can't seem to think about anything else except the breast reduction. I wanted to post pictures but I don't like not being able to take them down if I change my mind. I also saw a couple of real self breast pictures when I did a google search for cup sizes. I'll keep thinking about it but for now, it's a nope.
My surgery is next Wednesday. As is my tenancy, I...
- 2 Nov 2011
- 7 days pre
This has taken on a very stream of consciousness type of tone... I'll focus up.
I had my pre-op today. The nurse went over my before and after to do list. The gave me all of my prescriptions and the Arnica Montana. My medi haul consists of a pain-killer, antibiotic, and an anxiety medication (I guess I came off as a little wound up). I am also supposed to get this special medical scrub stuff (I will post the name later). I took some pictures of the girls, to document the process. I am pretty darn big! I know I've complained about my breast, but seeing them in a picture is nuts! If I had any doubts (which I don't) that picture would have been just the kick in the pants I needed.
It's about 2:00am, and I am still awake. I am now...
- 2 Nov 2011
- 7 days pre
I promise not to update for a while. lol.... I...
- 3 Nov 2011
- 6 days pre
I took my happy pill (Ativan) last night. I was...
- 4 Nov 2011
- 5 days pre
I mentioned to Dr. Schreiber that one of my fears is still having large breast, after the surgery. I said that since he couldn't guarantee a particular size, I would appreciate it if he err on the side of taking too much. This may sound strange, but my breast have really been a sort of albatross around my neck. I want to be free! If push came to shove, I assured him that I could use other means to get a little extra cleavage (push-up bras, inserts, socks, tissue, etc...lol). He said he totally understood and would take as much as he could while still maintaining my nipple and an aesthetically pleasing breast. That sounds good to me! I sooooooooo like him....
I made sure to take my happy pill so I could relax...
- 5 Nov 2011
- 4 days pre
I haven't had time to respond to the messages of...
- 8 Nov 2011
- 1 day pre
Day of Surgery - I was in a tremendous amount of...
- 11 Nov 2011
- 2 days post
Post Op Day 1 - My pain was minimal after being prescribed the correct mediation. I went home and seemed to be doing better in this environment. I was also finding it terribly hard to remain awake. That's why I haven't been posting.
Post Op Day 2 - Today was a good day. I am able to be more mobile and independent. My family has been very supportive. Today consisted to sleeping, trying to force myself to eat, and taking short walks around the house. It feels as though my son (20 months) knows something is wrong. He has been very gentle with me and moves markedly slower as he gets closer to me. I am not allowed to open my bra until the 18th so I have no idea what the girls look like. I do know that they are waaaaaay smaller. The doctor removed 1491 grams from my right breast and 1128 from the left breast. Strange... my snoring has lessened, according to my husband, and I have not experiences a single bout with heartburn.
I wanted to thank everyone for their prayers and well-wishes! It really brightened by spirit. Please excuse me if some of my update is a bit skewed. I am fighting to remain awake.
What do you say when you are heartbroken and the...
- 20 Nov 2011
- 11 days post
I have been at a loss for words. I was told I would be able to lift my 27 pound son after two weeks. Overall, I was assured that I would be back to my self in no time. Fast forward to now when my right nipple is black and peeling. Turning in either direction makes my incisions feel like they will burst. I also have a small rupture under my right breast. When I realized that my husband has to go back to work in a week and a half, I cried. Any pressure on my breasts causes pain. How am I supposed to lift my son?
I am not sure how I feel about my procedure.
My breast are substantially smaller. That's a good thing, but I am not sure it was worth it. I am doing my best to reserve judgement until I am farther along in my healing.
I had my tubes and dressings removed on November 15. Though tube removal was relatively painless, the remaining wounds were painful. In particular, my left wound was extremely tender. I could not even rest the weight of my arm on my side. The removal of the dressings, by a nurse, was quick and painful. She also tore a piece of my nipple skin. The pain made me dizzy and I was not able to compose myself enough to ask effective questions. After a quick visual assessment assuring my that my breast were perfect, my doctor bid me farewell. I got a brief look at my right nipple and noticed that it appeared black. The burning and searing pain clouded my judgement and I did not ask about it before I left.
On Nov. 17, I was removing my gauze, before showering, and realized that the nipple looked puffy and that some of the skin was coming off. I attempted to email my doctor a picture of my nipple but my file was too big. Panic caused me to call him. I explained my concern about my nipple and asked if it was dying. It did really seem like he was listening because he kept saying that splitting at the t-zone was completely normal. He went on to say that it would heal from the inside out. I repeated my question again. "Is my nipple dying?" He responded matter-of-factly and said, "it may be. That's a possible side effect of large reductions." He then told me to be patient and he would see me at my month check-up. I did not feel assured nor did I feel informed about what was happening.
My husband called just as I was ending my conversation with my doctor. I couldn't hold it together and began sobbing into the phone. I had just finished recounting the phone call with the doctor to my husband and I got another call. My doctor came across a list of questions I sent him earlier in the day (1. When can I drive? 2. Should I put anything on my incisions? 3. When can I exercise? and a bunch of other questions...). He called me back and wanted to know if I could come in to discuss the answers to my questions. I jumped at the opportunity because I was very worried about my nipple. When I got there I got some surprising answers to my questions. One of the more surprising answers was getting the clearance to exercise at two week post op. I stared at him in disbelief. He went on to say that I "can do whatever I want."
In regards to my nipple he kept saying everything will heal up beautifully. He tapped my nipple a few times and it began to swell and ooze. The nurse put a gauze on my nipple and told me that I didn't really have to wear a bra at home. This appointment was on November 16.
On November 17 I removed my gauze and was met with a disaster area. Large portions of my nipple and areola had peeled off. I was oozing and there was a mysterious yellow substance on my nipple. I forwarded a picture of my nipple to my aunt (she is a nurse). She was alarmed. I figured out how to resize my picture and I was able to send it to the doctor. He responded promptly and said sometimes the top skin of the nipple and areola sloughs off. He said it should heal from the inside out. I don't know if this is actually the case with my nipple but it was nice to have a real answer.
For some reason, I shied away from Realself. It is weird, but I felt ashamed that I wasn't having the stellar recovery that other women reported. I felt very isolated and sad. I must say that it feel great to share my journey and I wish I had mustered the heart to do it earlier.
I took the advice of my hubby and the ladies on...
- 22 Nov 2011
- 13 days post
Today was strange. I met my PS in the hospital....
- 23 Nov 2011
- 14 days post
Good News! Well, I think this is good. My cultures...
- 28 Nov 2011
- 19 days post
I was a little concerned because I had some separation under my breast. The separation was next to the T-zone. I notice the separation is exposing pink flesh and there is some strange white/yellow lines running through the pink. After I started the antibiotics, I noticed that there was a horrid smell coming from that particular separation. At first I brushed it off as smell because of the medicine. Then, I realized that the smell wasn't coming from my nipple nor was it emitting from other areas on my breast. I was a little concerned about infection under the boob. Can the antibiotic smell only seep through certain areas on the breast? I'll ask PS about it.
On an ironic side note... My left breast has become softer and barely hurts at all. The left breast is the side with the undamaged nipple and areola. I don't have any feeling in that nipple. Now for the irony... My right breast is harder and has been perpetually swollen since my follow up. The right breast has the complicated nipple and areola. Now... wait for it... ready... The nipple and areola on the afflicted breast has FULL sensation. Most of the time my areola uses this sensation to keep me hurting. Well, the other day, I slipped on a shirt and what's left of my nipple got aroused!!!!! Isn't that crazy?
Thank you for all of your prayers and well-wishes. I will certainly keep you all in my prayers and continue to update you.
Quick Update: Every time I take a shower, my scabs...
- 29 Nov 2011
- 20 days post