This is my first post to this blog. A blog about a...
So Many Choices...
I guess now is getting over the mind jitters. >_<
I have 2 young girls who I want to have a positive self image. I am hoping my decision will not make them feel less than beautiful. I also worry about the money. I know I could spend this on college money for them, or a new car, or a move. Is it right to spend this money now? If not now, then when? I don't think it will ever be a time when I will have $$$ to just blow away but I feel like this is something important to me.
Isn't that part of our problem? We work and toil and yet we feel guilty for taking care of ourselves. I KNOW this is my time. Over the last year, I have overcome dibilitating depression, alcohol abuse, graduated college and started a small business. All while keeping a home and raising my children. I got lost for a long time but I am bak and better than ever! I think this will only amplify that confidence to the World.
I will keep updating you with pictures and videos very soon. :) #teamboobsrbust
Hmmmm Saline Or Silicone? Pros and Cons
So lets get into my choices. I believe if I am going to write about this journey then it should be informational as well. So I will talk about my choice to go with saline implants over silicone. I stayed on the fence about my decision about implant type for a long time. But after research and a little help from a loved one, I made my decision with confidence. Like going to a grocery store, you should have a idea of what you want before you get there. I compared online and even researched on Youtube to get the answers I desired. I decided on saline due to my financial restrictions and also that I would feel more comfortable with a saline water dissipating into my system if there were ever a rupture. I also like the fact that a saline implant doesn't require such a large incision. Silicone implants are filled and ready to go. So, they must be placed through a larger incision such as through the armpit or under the crease. Saline Implants are filled after they are placed into the body. They can be placed through the nipple which allows for the scar to be less visible. Saline implants can also be custom filled. So maybe you want them to be squishy, then you can get a half fill or 3/4 full. If you want to make them firm and tight then ask for an overfill. So as you can see, For me, The saline implant was the way to go. Also, I worked in a lab and don't ask why but my professor had 1 implant they had just gotten that was about 2 years old. Then there was one that was 10-12 years old. It was appalling. It was the color of tree bark and looked like a hardened mass of chewed bubble gum. It was super hard and just was not attractive. Mind you, these were just implants on a tray.
Not to be unfair, I will describe the pros and cons of having silicone implants. Silicone implants are said to feel most like real breasts. Silicone implant patients have the least recorded complications. Silicone implants can last longer than saline implants. If a silicone implant ruptures, a patient will not experience volume loss. On the flip side, Silicone implants require a costly MRI every few years to ensure there are no ruptures or complications. As stated above silicone implants must be placed through a larger incision site. Silicone implants are more costly for the implant itself, about $1000 more on average.
So I hope this has given you a little help if you are trying to decide between saline and silicone. Please don't take my word for it. Do your due diligence and RESEARCH! Go to youtube and watch some videos, Search here on RealSelf and don't be afraid to ask questions. Good Luck on your Journey!
My first set of pictures. =P
I've been so caught up in the getting there, I haven't really taken much thought about the after. Like Life, its easy to just see what's in front of your eyes and miss the detail in the background. So I have been taking more looks into the bad and the ugly. Trying to understand the whys and the hows. By better understanding, possibly avoiding such complications, myself.
Its been rough. I have chosen to go with saline over silicone but I have to admit the rippling has got me nervous. I saw Vivica. YIKES! Then I saw Pam! Ouch! Lil Kim! Victoria Beckham! OWW! Of course I was looking at regular people, too.
I found today I did not know much about the different textures available. There are smooth and textured implants. Smooth implants have a smooth outter surface and are said to allow the implant to feel more "squishy" and "jiggle" more. Textured implants are said to remain firm and rarely move from where they are placed.
A reason a person may want to get textured implants is if they have very little breast tissue and would like to better disguise the implant under the skin. Another reason is if the implant is being placed above the muscle, the textured implant is said to help prevent "bottoming out", which is another type of complication.
Most saline implants are smooth. Also surgeons have said there tend to be more incidents of complications in textured implants versus the smooth.
As I said earlier, "bottoming out" is another possible complication. This is when the implant slips out of the pocket and begins to descend the chest wall. Yes! It's true, the girls could move on you! This is usually the result of a bad surgeon, making the pocket too large, making the implant too lage, you get the idea. EEK!
Then there' the big CC. Capsular Contraction. When 1 breast is firmer and higher than the other. This seems to be very common but I am lead to believe there is an explanation for this.
I have read and seen that the massage is very painful and people are asked to begin a week postop. So I think some people heal very fast and if they aren't diligent with the breast manipulation, the pocket may form scar tissue to protect itself. This is just my opinion, I am no expert and have no problem being wrong.
But without much more blah, blah, here are my first set of pictures. I only have 5 bras right now. After I had my youngest 4 years ago, I lost the baby weight and the boobies too. I am 5'8" and 118lbs. I am a 34a/b who wants to be a 34D! Because I am tall and thin, I don't want to look like a thumbtack, lol. Also I don't want my husband and children to feel uncomfortable. He really isn't 4 it but he know its something I really want and it's my money, so he's mum. But he did enjoy my girls when I was a very full 34C. That is what I haven't seen much of. What do the guys think/ Were they against it at first but love it now? Do they feel different? How? Would U make them bigger? Smaller?
I also was a ward of the court from 6mos old to adulthood. I never had much of my own. There were always other foster brothers and sisters to think about. Then I had my kids so I just transferred that feeling over to my own children. I have always put people before myself because that's what I was taught as a young girl. Don't be selfish, be selfless.
Even in my marriage I find myself thinking, "ARGH! I am such a push over!"
So after my last child, I realized, that is not right. I started feeling trapped and began to get depressed. I had a lot of unresolved issues with my deceased mother, childhood abuse issues, bad relationships, debts, and just felt like I was garbage. I fell into the bottle. I was drinking like a fish. The saddest part is nobody knew how far gone I was. I was going to PTA meetings, practices anywhere turned up!
It all crashed to rock bottom one night, when I blacked out, went into a violent rant and ended up in jail.
I had never been away from my children. NOT 1 NIGHT! I couldn't stop crying. There in holding, you sit with other inmates, there are no bars. There I sat, crying with prostitutes, thieves, and like myself, drunks. But for that night we were all just women with different circumstances that lead us astray. They formed around me and rallied me to never drift back down the road I had found that night. They cried with me and showed me the strength I had inside to find that little girl inside and hold her and say "Yes, there are monsters, but you are bigger, stronger, smarter and faster. Because you are here and they are not."
When I came home, I never took another drink. I have been sober for over a year. I was able to finally graduate college. My marriage is a lot better. My kids are happy and healthy.
So now I am waiting for my youngest to start kindergarten in Sept 2014 so I can start my new career as a chemical analyst, hopefully for the dept of health! Then in 2015 we have a move planned(waiting for my oldest to go to high school).
So as you can see, now is the only time I will have free time to get the consultations done, surgery, recovery, and just really enjoy my body. I didn't get to enjoy pregnancy like that. I was working. I want to get my boobs, recover, go to VS, do a lil bra sizing and lingerie show for the Mr., wear a bikini and not look like a 12 year old, put on a maxi dress, a halter top, a TUBE TOP! I want to wear a bandu that doesn't look like a band-aid. I want to make him jealous because guys can't keep their eyes off me! (did I say that?!)
I just can't wait. This is just for me! For those who want to do something and are just a bit scared of what others will say, think of this. We only get 1 chance at life and to be distracted from the beauty and love life has to offer is a tragedy. Find a way to make peace with yourself, then make peace with your creator, then tell the other people to go find some business...it's free all day!
Also I think I might switch surgeons. Like I said nothing set in stone yet. I wish there was a way I could just do a "blog" without choosing a surgeon. I still have so much footwork and research to do.
I even am having a few second thoughts about saline. I have seen tha saline can cause rippling in thin people as well as the implant eventually settles and so does the water and that can create a malformation over time. eek!
I just want to fill out my bras and stop my nipples from trying to fall back onto themselves. It hurts sometimes. Like they get sore and raw and I fear if I don't "reinflate" my boobs soon, I'm going to have a real problem there. Also The thing I learned about breastfeeding is that one boob usually produces more than the other. So after breastfeeding my youngest, I am left with some serious symmetry issues. I am almost sure the right Doctor could probably get this done under reconstruction.
Hopefully I will try again to get my pictures up and you can see what I'mm dealing with. It's a tragedy. They are soooo sad. I want happy boobies!
Wow, Time Flies! 2014, 4REAL!?!?!
So, this journey has been a renewal of spirit and mind for me. Not like this is/will be the turning point of my life but it's opened new doors and schools of thought for me. What I mean by that is I have started writing a new blog about my many endeavors, likes and tips. Living here in Los Angeles, I see a lot and hear a lot and can't believe I never shared an of this. I've met celebrities, gone to openings, shows, found sick, stupid bargins and come up with some crazy DIY's. It's in the blood, my 12 year old came brushing through with the most kawaii duct tape wallet. I didn't even show her! But if I can, I'll let yall know so u can check it out!
On to #teamboobsrbust news!
So, "Buck-caw!", that's chicken for "Good Day!"
I say that because, I still have not told my husband that I am seriously going to do this. He is my big old grumpy pit bull. He' about 9 years older than me. So he feels like my protector. I'm pretty tough, and he knows that. But he ha to do it. Like, I could be opening a pack of peas and he'll come and take them and open them for me. Or like he won't let me walk on the outside of the sidewalk. Or like when my mom died, he heard me scream from the top floor and ran all the way down the stairs and found me huddled under the intercom, bauling my eyes out, and brought me upstairs. When I used to work swing and didn't have a car yet, he would wait in South Central, gang hood for me till 1 am at the bus stop to walk me home. So you see the approach is like a 757 Boeing on a small runway in a snowstorm. Very Careful. I have been very nice though, no vetos!
So I made some rice sizers! Mines are a cup and 1/2. Which from my calculation should be about a 420cc. It was almost too big, so I knew I had it right, lol. I want to achieve a "D" from my surgery. I am real asymmetrical. I will go in on that in a moment. Hold on, cuz, it's gonna get good. But back to the sizers. So I finally got these guys all measured and closed up. "giggle" They kind of look like real boobies, lol. So I seat them in my bra, which has plenty of space, lol. And Viola! Instant "lumpy" Boob Job! No more "birdchesting"! It was great till my 12 year old caught me checking myself out in the mirror. She was rolling on the floor. She knows what's up. She's my lil soldier, if nobody knows, she does. She's gifted intellectually and intuiatively. I told her a while back, she's like just get it over already. But yeah, I can only imagine how this is gonna rear its ugly head again when she's in her teens. But I am sure I want no less than 425cc and no more than 475cc.
So it would just seem logical that since I'm a little unbalanced my boobs would be too. This experience has caused me to step back and take a real hard look at my girls. Well. Well, DAMN!! So what had happened was... I mean this is bad. Like I'm calling it a "reconstruction" now instead of "augmentation". First, they are REAL uneven. Like I think 1 is a cup smaller. Wait What!?! I know. I think this happened from breastfeeding because I am right handed so it was easier to hold "Big Fat Baby" on my right side. Don't trip, I believe all babies are fat, and I love it. My baby loved to eat and since I favored that breast, it made more milk, and in the end gained a bit more fat tissue than the other. So, the lesson is. Breastfeed evenly. IT IS NOT A JOKE! The boob you save may be your own! Also, I am guilty of just straight up lying. I just can't be a 34b! I now believe I am a 34 aa on my right and a 34a on my left. I think. That double letter thing only existed for ppl with big boobs or so I thought.
I also got brave enough to make my first phone call. I found this place in Newport Beach that sounded too good to be true. I did find the Dr. affiliated to the surgery center but of course this was before the Holiday and he had just went on vacation. So I stopped making calls until next week, the second week of January. I found out from the nurse on call though that surgeries usually book weeks in advance. It's good that I am starting now, if I seriously want to do this by March. I just hate wasting ppl's time if I am not booking until a month or so. But I guess it's not like buying a dress. There is lab work, medication, and other things that should be taken care of BEFORE your surgery.
Well, this has been enough for today, I'm sure. I think my next post, I will actually post up my nakie/half nakie pix and some tips about what to ask on your consultation and hopefully get my youtube channel attached. Thanks for reading. ^_^
My Rice Sizer Fun
This is after I made my rice sizers, I wanted to test them out. So I put on a couple of shirts just to see what they look like. =D
This is after I made my rice sizers, I wanted to test them out. So I put on a couple of shirts just to see what they look like. =D (TAKE TWO)
The Bravest Thing I have Ever Done. :o
I then started reading the posts and comments of some of the people on youtube and other forums. I couldn't believe how short sighted and undereducated some of the opinions were. Most of them, not surprisingly, from men, who have no reference point for breastfeeding, pregnancy, womanhood, gravity or any other force of nature. To whom we have given our heats, minds, bodies and souls. To whom most of us have relinquished our childish youth to commensurate your families. To whom most of us ask of nothing in return but your undying love and unwavering attention.
To you, who say "Why would you go under the knife and have someone put something foreign inside of you."
I say, "I carried a seed to a child and lay down my life on the operating table with no guarantee of tomorrow."
Who say "You should be happy with what you got. Be satisfied with the way God made you."
I say, "From my pubescent form, I grew into a woman, provided nourishment and shelter to my children. Time and love have ravaged our temples and left them in dissrepair"
Who say "I love you just the way you are."
I say " Do you really? Where are the pictures of women in their late 30's and 40's.? Why are sexy older women characterized as "cougars" and sugar mama's"? Why are women who are proud and confident objectified and criticized?
Who say "You'll regret it."
I say "How many times did you regret the snickers, snide comments, and lewd gestures? How many times did you regret looking over the woman with the brain for the chick with the rack?"
How about looking in the mirror at a malformation? What will become of the women who have fallen victim to illness and had surgical removals? What about burn victims who would like to feel as they did before their accident? What about soldiers, who have pledged the ultimate sacrifice?
We are all women and these are OUR temples. For so long, we have given so much of ourselves that we feel we need permission to feel good. The fact that people would say those thing are proof of their hypocritical nature. For if you truly loved a woman, you see her soul and not the shell that houses it.
With that being said...
So as I said before, after breastfeeding, I ended up severely misshapen. My breasts have been such a non-factor to me that I just don't even pay attention to them. I mean really. I just wash and through a bra on and go. Hell, sometimes I just throw on a tank and a sweatshirt and go. Which makes me go back to my prior point. Maybe if guys complimented us on our smaller busts or we saw more ad campaigns featuring smaller busted women, we would feel like showing off a bit more. Or how about making some cute tops for small breasted women.
Sorry, got off topic again. >_<
I am sure I have 2 different cups but I am not sure. I start setting appts for consultations today. I am sure they were the same or somewhere close to the same size 3 years ago. This happened because I am right handed and favored my left breast when I was breastfeeding. I didn't know that even if you express the other boob, they will still grow back uneven. And the bump on my rib cage just showed up one day. Dr.'s claim there is nothing wrong there. I know the surgery will correct this so I guess its okay but I just really had a good look at myself and was like "What happened to that JV cheerleader?"
My next thin is sizing. So I thought 400cc+ but now I am seeing people who are taller getting less cc's. I would have thought 425-475cc would put me in the big c little d area but now, I'm not so sure. I don't want anything that will be heavy on my chest and body because I have asthma. Do you think this would be too big? I want to look like Kelly Rowland. I have included pictures of myself and a set of boobs I like.
Thanks for reading and remember
"No one will ever love you more than yourself"
MY FIRST CONSULT!!!! <3 <3 <3 =D
Honestly, I have been on a few consultations but I wasn't as serious about booking the surgery. THIS time, I was nervous. I found myself a bit chatty but let me not get ahead of myself.
So my first consultation was not with Dr Edween but a Dr. Taneja who is actually closer and had an available consultation.
Dr. Arvin Taneja has a practice in South Pasadena. Firs I have to say when I called, they were so helpful and courteous. The receptionist was able to answer some of my questions and give me an appointment right away.
So another great thing is due to their proximity to the freeway, its less than 20 mins away! They even have their own parking, so you don't have to worry about parking meter or parking fees. They are on the second floor. So I rode up in the elevator and stepped out into a general hallway. They were easy to find by the sign to the left of the door. I slinked in behind the couple ahead of me. The receptionist with awesome hair and the most perky, shiny eyes, quickly spotted me and smiled. She asked if she could help me. I told her I had an appointment and she had me sign in and take a seat.
So after about 10 mins, she handed me a clipboard with your basic intake blah blah. I noticed they were busy but not overcrowded. There were like 2 receptionists and like 2 or 3 other assistants that work back office and a consultant. All together I waited like 15 mins including time it took to fill out pprwrk, to get to the back. I appreciated the lighting. It wasn't like super bright like in the physician's office. There was a type of Mediterranean appeal. Marble and statues, with creme and neutral colors. The assistant instructed me to strip from the waist down and put on a paper robe, open to the front. She stepped out and told me the doctor and his consultant would be with me in a bit.
So the room is pretty unassumming. It almost looks like any other office except for the implants in the small storage unit used for sizing. I gathered my questions, my camera, my sizers, my shirts, and my nerves and awaited the doctor. In what seemed like no time, Dr. Taneja was knocking at the door.
Dr' Taneja was kind and patient. He let me ask my WHOLE list of questions. He helped with my indecisiveness. He also didn't try to sell me on a bunch of stuff I didn't want. He helped me dispell of some of my misconceptions about the surgery. I also got to give him my suggestions and was pretty close to what he wanted to suggest. They also didn't hound me about price or financing right away. Like they mentioned the price at the end and that was it.
Next the consultant was so nice. She stayed with me and we began trying on silicone sizers. All the while she was giving me a wealth of information. Even sharing with me er personal experience. AND...she let me squeeze her "Charmin", lol.
It was awesome. I couldn't tell the difference. She swapped put her salines for silicone after 10 years due to leak she said she could actually "Feel". She showed me her size which was 650cc, I PROMISE, it was as big as my head. I was DAAAAAAYYYYYYYMMMMMM! So we started me at 400 filled to 450. I thought that was dolly parton huge! So I tried on the 300 filled to 350 and took some pix. What a doll, she took my pix for me 2.
So with the 450cc on, I was like, "this is a d?" and she laughed and said "noooo, maybe a full c."
Wait! What? What does it mean?!?
So know I think may be I should go with 350 filled to 400cc. I don't think I will want more than that as there is a weight involved.
I had a great consultation and You know what? I don't think I will even do anymore. We'll see. But today was Grrrrrrrrreeeeaaatt!
( @ )( @ ) Go Hard or Go Home!
Then the consultant and I tried on sizers to make sure this was what I wanted. She handed me a sports bra that said 34 A. 34 A!??!??!!!!!
Oh the embarrassment. I put it on thinking, oh she pulled the wrong size. No, I'm just in denial. Perfect fit. *sigh*
So then she hands me the 450 implants, explaining the implants I was holding were silicone and I would be getting saline. Silicone implants are a bit heavier. The funny thing is as a woman, it's kind of funny to have someone else "stuff" your bra. lol. She popped the implants into the bra and let me have a look.
Initially, they felt heavy and looked to big. She said they looked great. She also explained that the implants would lose some volume due to being placed under the muscle. Also that the implants will be tighter against my chest/body. It just still looked too big to me.
Next we stepped down to 300cc filled to 350cc. 100cc less. I thought this looked great. We agreed on that and she wrote it in my file.
Then as I drove home and over the last few days, I have been utterly obsessing over size. I remember someone saying if you think they are a tad too big then that's the right size! I want to achieve a full "C". And if you are going to pay thousands for something...get as much as you can. lol
So, I'm going 400cc o/f to 450cc saline, high profile, under the muscle and through the nipple. Hopin g t gain a full "C" maye a baby "D". but I ain't being greedy.
more pix from consultation
The 450cc seemed too big but as you can see in the picture, the 350cc implants look like I'm wearing a padded bra. Not much of a difference. Here is my theory, partially validated by what I was told at my consultation:
1. I am wearing the implants in a bra. If they were attached to my chest wall then they would be more taut against my body. This would make them higher.
2. Under the muscle placement would make them about 50cc's smaller.
3. I am tall so more cc's are required to give a fuller look
4. I am getting high profile which will give more projection. but I have the nipple issue and some sagging so some cc's will disappear in my nipples and crease, I think.
All this equates to me saying to myself...
"Don't second guess the surgeon."
If you do your research and your surgeon is qualified, you'll feel it. But it's human nature to want to control a situation. If we can have control over most of the details of our surgery, it doesn't seem like we are turning our lives over to a complete stranger. Truth is, that is exactly what we are doing. We are trusting this Dr. will be able open our bodies, reshape them and keep us alive. Truth is, sometimes, that doesn't always happen. There are botched surgeries and fatal errors that do occur. I believe it is the fear that drives us to obsess so much. Quite a few of us have children and families to think about. But when you find a surgeon that is the right one, you will know it.
They will answer your questions before you ask.
You will make you feel comfortable, almost at home in their office.
They take time to listen to your concerns and questions.
They don't push or try to upsell you
There is so much more that I could list but bottom line is do YOUR research.
Find a Dr. that works for you and LISTEN to his instructions.
Well, that's it for tonight. Good Luck 2 all of you walking this road with me.
My lil "BIG" secret
*break out mini-violins*
I say this not to induce your empathy for my plight against amastia, breast deflation, nipple regression, etc, whatever banner you want across my chest. I say this because for many years it just seemed almost superficial to want to get my breast fixed. It seemed as though reconstructive surgery was something reserved for the elite and famous. Trophy wives and porn queens.
How terribly mistaken I was.
There is nothing wrong with wanting to restore your former glory. Should not the wife of an auto mechanic, who works hard and takes good care of the family, deserve to look and feel cherished and special? Why does that mean she is not confident? How come this identifies with vanity or narcissism?
Would there be such scrutiny if we were extending an arm or leg that had not grown to full length? What about the unfortunate who broke their nose when they were young and now seek rhinoplasty? How about those who have lost 100's of lbs and are left with lbs of loose skin that NEEDS to be removed?
Each of us have shoes to fill and a mile to walk. I have learned that my journey is more enjoyable when I am open to the road ahead and the beauty the path is showing me.
I haven't told anyone but my oldest daughter about my surgery. Yet, I have been telling everyone for decades. But at this point I feel like when I was pregnant with my youngest. My oldest knew and I knew and that was it until 3 mos. She just knew. Likewise, she know because she is real observant and has seen me trying on the sizers. Also her opinion is important to me, so I asked her opinion on size.
I feel like I have this BIG lil secret that I'm just so excited about. I know now my husband will be thrilled about this once it all sets in. I forgot who we were talking about. He's a sex fiend. So for him this would be like getting an upgrade on an already good model. In his terms, like putting a new coat of paint and some rims on a classic car. I can hear him already..."You gonna throw sum "D"s on them mtha" (it's a old rap song) His main concern is my safety. As long as I'm not going for my face and not gonna get addicted and spend all our money, he'll be fine. I'm SURE after I heal, I can make him feel REAL comfortable with my decision.
I don't think I will tell anybody else. I don't think it's any of their business. I have 1 aunt who had hers done who is like my boobie mentor but no one else. This is just for me. This is for me to fit into these 2 dresses(halter and maxi) that I look at everytime I go in my closet but never pull out because they don't fit anymore(post breastfeeding). I want to wear a suit to the beach. Bikinis don't stay on or in the right place. One pieces ride up and make me look like a boy. I want to slowly unbutton my blouse to reveal a sexy lace see thru bra, filled with my breast to drive my husband wild. I want my bras to stop riding up my chest. I would like to wear a leotard/catsuit(so what, Lady Gaga did it!)
I have been looking up ladies of color who have had their boobs done. I was surprised to see that there are quite a few.
Kelly Rowland. I read she went t a "B" but if you watch her "Kisses Down Low" video, you can def tell she is a full "C" She is my body "double". We are about the same height, weight, shape, color. etc. I was thrilled when she came out and shot down the rumors before they started.
Vivica Fox. She had a very public complication with her boobs. But she seems to have gotten them revised and they look okay now.
Rihanna. Not confirmed but pretty sure. If you look at her in "Umbrella" then look at her in "Stay" she is def bigger. But I think she went under 300cc
Elise Neal. I am a big fan. I noticed and thought it did her a major justice and I've been seeing her in ore parts. hmmmm
Halle Berry. Okay so not confirmed but she was always small even in strictly business. So we all remember the famous topless scene in Swordfish. Then in Monster's Ball she was pretty big for her small frame. I think she had them done after the kid. IJS
And there are more, I just didn't want to spend all day listing.
So now, after I have done my consultation, I am waiting. I have to wait to get my return for the rest of the money. I took my girls shopping for undies and socks the other day. Of course, I gravitated to the bras. So I thought, why not and bought a couple of sports bras and a coupe of underwire bras. I know I may be getting ahead of myself. It's like prepping for a baby, though. I am so excited about my "lil" BIG secret. I saw so many cute lingerie and jammies that would be so cute on my new boobs.
They were great. Both Fruit of The Loom and under $10. I bought them in a 36. I hope to be a full "C", so I imagine they will be really swollen. A 36 should accommodate a full "D", I would think. I am normally a 34 so buying 36 should be good to give room for swelling and so the band won't dig in my skin. I got a black one and white one. I bought 2 36C bras. They seemed HUGE. I don't remember them being that big when I was nursing but nursers aren't underwire pushup either, lol.
I am so excited to finally just be getting this done. I mean DONE. No more complaining and groping about bra size. No more trolling the net for before and afters. No more looking at women from their chest up. No more wondering. I often think, what will I do, once I have conquered this obsession? What will I chase now that I have caught my bounty?
On to a new review
Not So Fast!
What is it? Well, the best way I can explain it is as follows: Your body is the Star Trek Enterprise. Everything operating normally. Implants are like two giant alien things beaming up. "All Hands On Deck!" The guards quarantine the intruders from the general population. So when your implants are introduced to your body, the natural response of the body is to protect itself. A capsule will form around the each implant and continue to harden making the breast hard, uneven, and painful.
So what happens if you developed the big CC?
Well, there are a few options, none of which sound like a bowl of cherries.
-The first involves a rather barbaric practice of forcefully "popping" the scar tissue up in the implant pocket. This is said to be painful and possibly cause damage to your implants.
-The second involves ultrasound therapy. Ultrasonic waves break up scar tissue surrounding the implant.
-The final would involve surgery. The Dr. can either break up the tissue partially or remove the capsule completely.
Is there any way to safeguard my new investments?
Smoking seems to be the number one culprit in causing the dreaded "CC".
Oh, don't fell bad. I smoke too. But I quit January 20th and hope to stay smoke free. My breasts are worth more than a pack of smokes!
Smoking reduces oxygen causing complications in healing. It also reduces the levels of Vitamins B and C. It also makes those creepy lines around your mouth. Let's stop it ladies! We can do it! #stayinalive
There are other precautions you can take:
-Start taking Vitamins TODAY!! Start getting your body in shape. Start drinking more water and exercise a bit. Not too much but remember, you will be on light duties for weeks. (I've started taking Prenatal Pills and Drinking at least 1 16oz bottle of water a day. For me that's a lot! And I walk the kid to school now. lol)
-After your surgery, start taking vitamin E pills. I have read at least 400U once a day, every day, for the time you have the implants. Also only 2 weeks AFTER your surgery. Vitamin E is an antioxidant. It slows cellular damage and aging. But consult your doctor first!
-Get Tropical! Grab a pineapple and make a tasty salad! Pineapple has an enzyme called Bromelain. Bromelain helps reduce pain, swelling, and healing from injury. Studies have even shown it may enhance antibiotics.
-Touche': Don't be gentle with that massage! A lot of times people get comfortable with their implants and forget massage must be done everyday, until explanted. Also Implants are pressure tested to withstand squeezing and "smooshing" and "squishing", so when massaging, Dr. wants patients to really move those puppies around! When doing home massage, grab them, squeeze them, roll em around, push em down, get in there. And do it everyday, almost all day at first, than at least once a day FOREVER!
-Wearing proper bras! Make sure to have a proper bra sizing done at a lingerie shop such as Victoria's Secrets or Nordstroms. These are just a couple of places but the point is you've spent so much on your breasts, at least have the right bra to protect your investment. Also remember to let them breath but they need support. Wear a sportsbra to sleep. Also wearing push up bras are fun but constant wear causes the breast to conform to that raised position and scar tissue begins to harden in that position.
There is a scale called the Baker Grading System
Grade I — the breast is normally soft and appears natural in size and shape
Grade II — the breast is a little firm, but appears normal
Grade III — the breast is firm and appears abnormal
Grade IV — the breast is hard, painful to the touch, and appears abnormal
If you feel you may be developing a problem, CALL YOUR DR.!
I am not a Dr. but plenty of ppl on realself.com are. They are all across the World, so I'm sure there is a surgeon in your area that can see you. "CC" doesn't have to mean the "End Of Days" for your new breasts. If you can catch it early or prevent it in the first place, it may never be a problem. But if it is, I hope this has been helpful to you. Much love and CC's.
(P.S.-the pics are just me having fun with my rice sizers, padded bra and sportsbra, with some of my sexy clothes I used to "fit")
I'm still going.
I almost let my cat out of the bag. It's so hard not telling him. I have told a couple of people but I don't think they think I'm serious but I am. I got the good news that I am eligible for some tax credit for students. Yay!! So I'm keeping my fingers crossed. I just put in my paperwork, so I'm sure it'll be about a month.
I have my pre-op Dr.'s appt to do whatever check up stuff they need to do. I hope its just in and out. I don't want to chat about all the crap I already know. Are you sure? They're not permanent. Complications, etc. I just want her to do my labs and go. I am a bit nervous because although I no longer smoke or drink I do have a medicinal license and endulge in edibles and candies. I have ADHD and otherwise would have to be on meds that make me feel really sick, so I eat a brownie or a sucker and go. The best way I could explain it is "Spazmatic." I say goofey stuff, do stupid things, forget things, just a mess. But with edibles I can finish 1 thing at a time and actually pay attention to detail while I do it.
I hope people will not look at me differently in respect to my sobriety. Marijuana has never made me lie to people, steal from them, put they life in danger, or destroy their property. Alcohol and poor decisions did.
Is anyone else out there 420 active? Did it effect your recovery? It's the cannibinoids I am concerned about since I don't smoke anymore, there should be less risk of CC.
Well, I hope you are all doing well and having sweet dreams of boobs and bigger bras. #boobsorbust
So after I swallowed my tongue and passed out. I was like "Yeah, eventually, but this is my regular Dr."
So he knows but he didn't say anything. Hmmmmm
I love when we play chess. He has advanced on me.
Now I am just waiting on my labs for Monday.
I am so in love with the pictures I took with the sportsbras. I am so ready to get this over with so I can stop thinking about it. Obsessing over it.
I'd be lying if I say i haven't had doubts and concerns.
What if they are too big or heavy?
What if they are too uncomfortable or too painful?
Am I really ready for the attention I'll get and comments? People can be pretty mean. Especially family.
What if they start going bad,(cc, uneven, etc)?
I am still sure I want this. If it goes bad then at least I know I tried and it didn't work.
I started a very small online business. I made 2 sales already! It's not much but that is only in 48 hours. It's been keeping me distracted but at the end of the day. "Boobs, Boobs, Boobs!"
R U 4REAL??!!!
In boob news, I didn't do my labs today. Ran out of time. It's all good, I can go at anytime. Also, I still haven't gotten a list of the exact tests I need. we want to make sure we get the right ones. So the closer i get to my impending date, the more aroused I get at my new body. I have always had a healthy sexual appetite. I have never strayed away from being a vixen in the bedroom. But since we have kids it seems like we are never alone. Then when we are it almost like a routine. Draw the shades,close/lock the door, fight over the light, under the covers...
I look in the mirror and don't see that hot girl I used to be but I don't see the sexy woman I want to be. Inside I feel like Kelly Rowland, or a chocolate Jessica Bunny. Sexy in every way. Sometimes I like to walk up right behind him because we are not very far in height and whisper, "Hi, baby" right in her ear as I walk by. I am a constant butt grabber and eyemaker. I truly believe "A dirty mind is a terrible thing to waste."
Before the kids and when I was pregnant with my first child. I used to just walk around all "National Geographic" style. I got a bit teary eyed when I heard Bruno Mars "Gorilla" I miss that.
I find myself always looking at my flaps or adjusting them. To not get so graphic, cuz I haven't given you ENOUGH, I don't like to face him anymore during intimate moments. Because I remember no matter what he SAYS, how excited he was when I was "growing" and lactating. I mean really, I thought this guys was trying to set up radio contact with aliens. And I liked it. lol
I would like to wear sundresses, halter tops, bandeaus, maxi dresses, teddies, push up bras and other sexy things.
My daughter wears a bigger bra than me and she is in the 7th grade!!!! And I look and feel sad sometimes. I know that's crazy but I am still a girl on the inside. I'm not sad that she is developing!! ARE U NUTS?!?!? That's a great thing. She'll be fine. No boys to make fun of her. No girls will make itty bitty jokes about her. She will be able to look good in anything she wears. She won't have to spend $4500(surgery, meds, labs, bras) to make up for what God didn't give her. I WILL TEACH her how to breastfeed the right way. I will buy her the right bras. And if she still wants implants after she has kids and gets married than hey! I'll be there for her then too.
I want to take some sexy pictures for him. Hell, I do believe we are going to crook together in a nursing home somewhere. What better gift for his old ass but a picture of my sexy young ass? He could say "I hit that. I got that finest fox in ward b." And if these girls hold up well and by then I'd be on at least my second pair and second hip, I'd still be the sexiest thing on oxygen. I'm just being real cuz I smoked for over 20 years.
But okay, I think this has been enough. Also, I am finding out that this is almost a right of passage for mothers who are in their mid thirties with more than one kid and have lost more than 50-75 lbs. I just really believe that is it. Our boobs are suffering "The Biggest Loser" syndrome. Where you gain a lot of weight over many months or years and lose it real quickly. So our boobs are made of fat and when we lost that fat we were just left with the saggy skin. I noticed around my abdomen too. Which means I was toast from my 12 year old! I gained over 80lbs with her. I lost 60lbs by the time I came out of the hospital 3 day later. I promise I weighed myself both times. I just thought I wasn't working out hard enough but I guess eventually I might need a tummy tuck. But it sounds so weird because I am only 118lbs. Any thin people ever had a tummy tuck? Sorry if I am rambling, but somehow, talking to you guys is so honest. Almost like writing a letter to a friend. I am very glad realself.com is here.
So remember I was waiting on the reply from My Fairygod Surgeon about the tests required for my own Dr. office? Among my first unchecked emails from the same day was a letter from Elxy, the patient coordinator. In the letter, she was very polite and attached a form with all the required information. She also reminded me of a fact I remember her telling me but in my zeal for breasts I kinda forgot. >_<
So you don't want to get your labs done until 3 weeks before you expect to have your surgery. I totally would have went this week and my labs would have been invalid by the time I went for my surgery. I am so thankful for them and their great customer care. I can truly tell they are going to take care of me and do a good job as long as I cooperate with their pre/post care requirements.
Wow! Its Almost My Turn! :D
So quite a few things have gone on since my past post. I purposely waited to update just so I'd have SOMETHING to say, lol. So what's been happening.
First, my work situation has just fizzled like a bad alka seltzer. I think after being burned I just lost my jazz for it. I just hate to be sedimentary. So after some unforseen circumstances, I have decided to stop trying so hard to get away from home. By that I mean, I've been a worker bee all my life. So naturally, I want to go to work and be productive in the professional World. But since I am now without ANY childcare , we have been home schooling to prepare my youngest for Kindergarten.
She was in a spot at our local elementary but this is LAUSD and without getting to far into it. I forgot to do something and rather than punish me for my negligence, they punish her by giving up her spot, with no notice to me at all. We went out on a 4 day weekend and came back on Tuesday morning to "She's no longer a student in that class." She was standing right there and broke like a piece of glass. People really need to think about the purpose of the jobs rather than the perks. Meaning I understand I did wrong and I am remorseful. I could have easily fixed the situation if given a day more. Or even an opportunity to explain the circumstances. SHE does not understand. She thought she did something wrong. I had to explain to her She didn't. She lost all her friends and teachers in a weekend. It was tough for a few days. But now, we are rolling with rust! We got some supplies from Walmart and the 99cent store. We found Team Umizoomi activity packs, storybooks, games and more learning fun. So everyday, we wake up, have some school, eat some breakfast, a lil more school, then its off to errands and play or a field trip and finally back home for dinner and homework. She is actually responding better with our little program! But she'll be going back cuz I am going STIR CRAZY!!!
My husband has jumped on my wagon. I'm gonna officially call him "Me2". I go to college, He go to college. I stop drinking. He stop drinking. Even when I was pregnant. I barf, he barf too. But I am not mad! Its good follows. If following me makes you a better man than follow me to the moon, baby. But he ain't going to church. Funerals, wedding and Baptisims. I FINALLY sat down and face to face discussed my surgery with him. HE WAS TOTALLY COOL!! He just said don't get carried away. He is back in school. Which is weird. I'm always the first one up and out. I feel like our chihuahua sometimes, just staring out the window. lol But as I said before, its just a matter of time. Science never gets old and there are always jobs in my profession. So in September, it should be pretty easy getting a job. (already got some offers but they know I have a child.) Its rare to find an analyst with a degree, experience AND a license to draw blood. HOT COM-MOD-ITY! (you gotta say it with swag!)
My oldest daughter was holding water under her bridge. So my oldest is in the 7th grade honors class. She has received many accolades for her academic achievements. Everyday when she gets home I ask her about her day. You trust your baby will be honest and tell you if they are in trouble. But I guess I was wrong. So come to find out, other honors kids were calling her "nerd" and "teacher's pet" and picking on her. She tells me its been going on for 2 months. I was sooooo enraged! I was more upset that she kept it from me. We had a LONG talk. I also talked to a counselor so the situation is being monitored. That's the best you can do. Its so hard because when they leave and go outside, they are on their own. There no "com" to tell them the right words or the right actions. I am just always so scared for here. She's growing so fast and the World is so big and scary.
ME! I think my boobs have pushed me into a mid life crisis. I find myself adding it all up. How old will I be when my kids graduate? If they get married about when I did how old will I be? I'm always finding new lines or freckles/age spots. I find myself always pinching or proding somewhere. To my elatement, a ULTA store just popped up down the street from me. Literally walking distance. I knew it was trouble when I came three days in A ROW!!! So I dumped all my old CVS stuff and got some new goodies. I AM IN LOVE!!! I fond the right products to cover my blemishes and dark eyes and whatever else is on there. I also found a new favorite perfume! Juicy Noir! I also went for my preop but it wasn't time so I ended up waiting. So I will go back next week to complete that with the forms from Dr. Taneja. My money is on its way so I should have the rest by next week. Then its just the final stretch.
Does anyone out there have any last minute words for a sista?
Will I go to the beach more or just feel better when I do?
Will I dress sexier or just feel sexier when I do?
Will I go out more? Will I want to go out more?
Will I want to socialize more?
Will my husband and I become more intimate? Do I REALLY want that? (cuz sometimes, I just really don't want to be bothered)
What's my next big hurdle?
I really want to go on and get a bachelor in clinical science and eventually become a certified clinical scientist. But right now or as of last my work has been in water management (waste water and sanitation, creek and stream sampling, water analysis) and my husbands family works for the city in waste water and sanitation. It's not as dirty as u think. If anything, you do have some FUNKY smells. Then there is my classmate who was able to land this great position as a analyst with the Dept of Health in Toxicology. He said he could put in a good word for me once I take the entrance exam. Lastly, there is another close friend who is doing analysis at a lab so close I could walk to her job. Where ever I land, i want to stay there for a long time.
Well, as I'm writing this, I thought of my next big adventure! A house.
Right now, we stay in an apartment. It's a nice spacious 2 bedroom. But we have been here 12 years! My oldest wasn't even walking when we moved in. We're centrally located, so moving just never seemed that big of a deal. But now with 2 kids, a dog, his tools, my tools, and just 12 years of looking at the same walls, its time for a change. If I can take such a huge step and have this operation, then a move should be a piece of cake, lol. But yes, this will be my next endeavor will be to get a great job working in my career, save my money and move my family to a safer more positively productive neighborhood.
I've been thinking about other "Afters". Like I'm usually a stomach sleeper and even when I was pregnant, I found myself attempting in my sleep to turn on my belly. This is going to be a learning experience for me.
Or how will my husband feel when its all done? I don't want him to be weirded out by my body after this. What if he is floating with the stream but really he doesn't want to make waves. He does that sometimes. He's a Pisces, so he avoids confrontation, but I don't think he would bite his tongue over something this big.
How will I feel? I don't want to be weirded out by my own body. I am a very sensual person. So if I'm trying to be seductive and I can't focus on anything but how weird I feel, that's going to be awfully distracting. I read somewhere, someone said they obsess twice as hard over their boobs post surgery. What kind of limitations will I have. I hear some people are restricted to how far the can raise their arms or how much they can lift. Permanently.
I guess this is just the pre op jitters. Much the same as when the roller coaster whisks by and you're next in line. Your heart races and your mind ponders. You look behind you and entertain the idea of sprinting for the nearest exit. Your legs quiver in anticipation. You can hear the screams in the distance as your head seems to swirl. You grip tightly to the metal safety rail, as the cold against your palms snap you into the here and now. You must make a decision. Step forward or move backward. The air whips your hair into your face as the roller coaster makes its approach. You look back one more time but you realize, your destiny is ahead of you. Your destiny is take the journey and never look back. Enjoy the ups and downs with jubilation and lack of regret. Raise your hands to the Heavens and feel the electricity of Life. Scream to the top of your lungs and let your voice be free. And finally, return, to share your story with those who will listen. Bring forth food for those starved of experience.
Do U Guys Know About This?!?!
That's right. Someone is STEALING our updates. I really don't think this person has any permission to use these videos, nor do I think any of the girls know. I would try to contact them but there are just too many. Please be careful with your updates. I guess the best way to safeguard yourself is with a watermark but I have no idea how to stop them from downloading. So I just thought all you should know.
I have attached links to their channels so you can see yourselves. Maybe somebody out there will read this and know what to do.
Be SAFE Ladies.
Excellent Office Manner. I called and was scheduled within a week. They were located just off the Pasadena freeway, less than 20 mins from my home. Dr. Taneja answered all my questions and concerns. His assistant Elxy, is soooo nice. She helped me try on silicone sizers and find "MYLOOK", lol. Then gave me lots of information about the Dr., the office, the procedure, the implant manufacturer, post care, pre op care, everything I could need. I will be having my operation in Mid March. It is $500 to book your op date but free for a consultation. ^_^