Not Long Now .....Very Nervous.....just Need to Chat - London, GB

Hi I'm a 38 year old mum of 3 whose breasts have...

Hi I'm a 38 year old mum of 3 whose breasts have been sucked dry after breast feeding my 3 children! Pre children I used to be a 34D and my boobs used to be my best friend ...so to speak! I totally loved them and was happy to take them anywhere! Now I'm a 34 a/b and feel I have lost my femininity and confidence. I have spent the past 8 years feeling cheated, unsexy, disgusting and totally fed up of wearing padded bras still with massive gapping bits!!! I have become totally boob obsessed and spend my life looking at other women's breasts wishing and hoping. I have had enough of little comments like "oh glad to see you've packed your boobs with you" whilst unpacking my bras when on holidays and wearing tops in bed, not taking my kids swimming and dreading the summer because of my breast size! Well I have finally plucked up the courage, done my research and found a PS whom I trust. I have had 2 appointments with my third being on Monday and have booked my op for next Thursday the 25th April. I have been like a new person. Excited, happy, and confident as I have been wearing my sample 360/390 silicone implants for the past 2 weeks to get a feel for it.(Yes I'm aiming to try to get them an even size too). I haven't had any comments from people I know which is great as I want to look as natural as possible and as my bras have been padded within an inch of their life for 8 years I'm hoping not to have to tell too many people. I am aiming for a 34D/dd as I had been told to always just go that little bit bigger! Now with a week to go I am really beginning to feel so very nervous. My close family and friends which do know have all reassured me that I am doing the right thing as they know what I have been like. My husband is happy for me to do whatever makes me happy but I am now starting to worry. I'm worrying that in 10/12 years when I'm 50 I will have to have them re done (as recommended by my surgeon and then 10-12 years after that..... i'll be 60 for goodness sake I cant imagine that!!!) I am also concerned about the over vs under the muscle debate. My PS said as I already have some breast tissue they would look more natural over the muscle plus recovery time is quicker. I have heard that under the muscle is better for mammograms plus less risk of rippling (well I am getting older!). He has said he would be happy to do it under that if thats what I want. I would like your advice please on how you guys have found things. Plus i have booked 2 weeks off work and am hoping that should be enough to get be back to the basics. I am a part time teacher working only 1 day a week plus 1 evening behind the bar in a pub, my dad is moving in for a week and a half to help out with school runs etc so I can rest but my mind is now all over the place. Im beginning to think maybe I have been stupid these past 8 years feeling the way I do and I should just be me and learn to live with what I have. Then the other part of me thinks if I dont just bite the bullet I'll be upset for the rest of my life! I know there are always good and bad experiences and everyone is different but I just needed to talk to you guys who have the experience and maybe able to put my mind at rest. I have been wanting this for soo long now....but now I am scared! Thank you for your time and for listening xxx

Thank you for sharing your story on RealSelf. Your feelings of guilt, excitement and now being nervous, are completely normal. It's a long process we go through to move forward with cosmetic procedures. We don't really need the procedure so sometimes it's hard to justify. I also breastfed my 3 kids and got implants 8 years ago and I don't regret any part of it. Sounds like you have great friends and family support to help you through your recovery - what an amazing dad you have! Good luck! Let us know how it goes...we'll anxiously be awaiting your update!

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