These blogs helped me so much I wanted to write...
I think I have always been very confident, but part of being confident is being well aware of your strengths and weaknesses. Mentally and physically. I work in the service industry in vegas and I have always been aware that I have a nice body but when it comes to my boobs I need to do all sorts of tricks to get them looking good. The corsets and outfits are flattering when I work at it, wearing three bras and stuffing but I notice it stings when people compliment you and they are complimenting all the things you are faking. (Eyelashes, boobs, clinched waist, hair extensions, nails, smile cause I've had braces. ) I just see that a little bit of effort goes a long way. "There are no ugly women. Just lazy ones. "
So after being scared of surgery, not sure if I want to spend the money, talking myself out of it, I'm finally fdoing it.
I asked around and found a doctor who is reputable. At the initial consultation he told me what I already knew. that my boobs are a little tuberous, sagging, and set wide apart and small. All of these things are hidden when I pull all my tricks to make them look better, but at the end of the day when I get naked I know the truth and I want them to be nice for real. Not just when I dress up.
He said he understood and knew what I wanted.
I pulled together the financing, my boyfriend cosigned for me. Then I booked the date. I went for my blood tests and had surgery in a few days.
This is where I was thrown a curve ball. I got my test back and it revealed I was anemic. My iron stores were very low. Too low to operate.
My surgery was cancelled.
They said I needed to see a blood specialist and that would accumulate more doctors fees and I was just not going to spend the time and money to have someone do what I can deduct on my own.
I rescheduled my surgery and started taking
After three weeks I took my new blood test Wednesday and got my results yesterday. I'm good to go!
My surgery is Tuesday and I'm scared to death. I'm scared of hospitals so I'm putting myself in my worst nightmare.
My doctor and I didn't decide on how many cc's. I just told him I don't want to be a D, and I like the full round "upper pole" and kinda want it like that all the time. I don't care about natural, I just want sexy. I am 5"3 115 lbs, my rib cage is very small and I am athletic, I want boobs that I don'thave to be buying a lot of specialty clothing for. (Who makes a 32D? No one sold offline)
Everyone knows and everyone is supportive.
a few photos
I was an akward plain looking adolecent. I have come a long way. So I struggled with "why now" and "will this improve my quality of life or is it all in my head? " I thought about how much the 3 years I spent in braces improved my quality of life and I felt sure I was making the right decision.
I am so careful to not allow unflattering photos of myself online, so this is weird for me posting these photos. I am happy for the anonymity.
I want the round and high look and I am not too concerned with looking "fake".
I didn't discuss any specific cc's with my doctor so I'm really just trusting him. I am trying to not get too caught up in cup sizes because I know a C in one brand can be a B in another brand. That stuff can make me crazy.
My boobs are very far apart and my nips point out towards the sides, not to the front. My doctor and several friends have warned me there is not much you can do about these things. After the implants your boobs will still be your boobs, only bigger. You can't do a lot about shape and distance apart. If anything the surgery could magnify these issues. He did say he would do what he could.
I'm having all the same freak out second thoughts that I see in almost every review on this site. My main freak out is, Should I have gone with silicone instead of saline??
My other freak out is wondering what to do in preparation for the week I'll be the most helpless. what foods do I want around, and I should probably clean before so that I'm not tempted to clean while I'm drugged up. I have no idea what to wear the day of surgery. A girlfriend said I'll be freezing when I wake up so wear some sweats and a hoodie. I guess I should have bags of frozen peas to use as ice packs. What else?
Also I am terrified to be left alone at all during the first few days. Is this rational? Should I make sure someone is home at least for the first 48 hours?
Any other advice for what to do to prep for surgery?
what everyone else says
Other than cleaning the house.
Probably midnight dollar bowling with some girls. No boys!
So annoyed with what boys have to say!
When it has come up, whoever I'm talking to (male) tries to be sweet and tells me how I look great and they have always thought I had very nice breasts. I remind them that they have never seen me naked and they are naive to think my bra isn't decieving.
I have brought up, as a matter of argument and for conversion that women with nicer breasts make more money in our industry. Ohhh how tired I am of hearing men tell me that they don't give favorable bias to women with nice breasts or prettier women in general. Its not up for debate. I know because I've lived it. Stupid boys.
I am also tired of the boys who want before and after photos. I just tell them eww, there is a reason I'm getting them surgically fixed.
I have been reading this site obsessively fora while but it's been magnified the last few days! I talk to my boyfriend about it as we are about to go to sleep. I pulled pictures of the areola incisions. I was all happy to find an example of what mine would be like. I tried to show him and then re thought it. "Am I grossing you out? Do you not want to think of boobies this way? " he surrendered and said he would look and talk if that was what would help me but for the most part "boobies are supposed to be happy thoughts for me, but you keep showing me boobie purgatory." I couldn't stop laughing! I just wanted to hug him so hard after that cute comment!
I do like the reaction I have gotten from my nearest and dearest. Some of my closest friends are more excited than I am! My co-workers are all so supportive. I work at a stand up comedy theater so lots of good jokes to let me not take things too seriously.
I told my grandmother over text message. (She raised me. She is "mom") she hates that I'm doing it but she accepts it. She had hers done but always tries to justify it saying "I HAD to do it. I had a legal deformity!" But I have it too So shhhhh! And she always makes these "my boobs saved my life my cushioning my fall" jokes. I guess she freaks out cause she died on the operating table while getting a nose job in the 60s. She dated a plastic surgeon in her youth.
I feel like my boyfriend has been nuzzling up to my boobs when we lay watching tv or have our before bed talks. He never used to do that. I feel like he's taking mental before and afters.
Its weird but the only person I'm nervous about the reaction, is my dad. He didn't raise me but we keep in touch like we are old friends or something. He's still my daddy though and when it comes to him I feel perpetually 7 years old. He's the only one I feel nervous about.
Sorry if this was long and boring! I just have so much going on In my head!
the countdown begins!
I want to get it over with already. The suspense is the worst part I think. I thought I was scared of surgery, hospitals and recovery and I'm starting to think its just the suspense.
I may be alone on day 2 unless I start asking around for help. The boyfriend has work that night and wont be around. My sister was supposed to fly in but I haven't heard from her so I'm going to assume she's flaking. I think ill be ok though. I'll probably be sleeping.
It looks like the prescriptions all you girls get are all so different. I feel like I got some very strong prescriptions. I'm about to Google them. I don't know anything about pills. I see a lot of people get vicodin and Percocet. I got hydrocodone and methocarbamol. It seems the prescriptions are really different doctor to doctor. Accurate?
trying to go through the motions
I couldn't sleep more that 4.5 hours last night. I'm just happy I'm not waiting around anymore. Its the suspense that is the worst!
So here I go! We're on our way out!
full update later.
I'm icing now. In some pain. The care from the bf is so comforting. He always know just what to say and do.
Like I said I am afraid of hospitals. I clung to the BF like a five year old but he was great assuring me everything I always wanted was about to happen.
Went to the back to do the basics, change into the hospital gown. They make you wear stockings and calf covers (to prevent blood clots). In true vegas fashion my surgeon says "great! You got your thigh highs and go go boots on! " (in Vegas your work uniform is thigh highs and go go boots pretty much everywhere, so it was a great joke :)
Everyone kept talking about how nervous I looked so they asked my boyfriend to come back. I was sooooo emotional! I kept crying! The BF being such a BOY pulls up Mel Gibson's brave heart speech to inspire me. It was sweet and funny. Once he got me laughing he just kept raising my spirits until the real stuff started. .
They marked me up (PS said he'd send me pics) then they explained the anesthesia. Then they started my "top shelf margarita" of drugs. It hits you instantly. I remember saying "whoa!" And then it was lights out and groggily coming to.
The guy who was assigned to wait with me Was the worst. He was soooo loud and calling out inside jokes to co workers. It was like waking up from a hang over and everyone around you is sitting in your room talking around loudly! And I asked for the BF and he was just so nonchalant dismissing me and telling me I'd have to wait. He was rude about it but the BF came back soon.
I was so nauseous. So again in the IV they gave me anti-nausea medicine and it worked instantly.
I took a muscle relaxer right away because my muscles felt tight. Again I didn't like the nurses bed side manner. I asked for a pain killer and she said "well you are on pain killers now and they aren't supposed to remove the pain, just reduce it." Yea right, I took the pain killer. Felt way better.
The ride home bumps were rough. I think I slept most of it though.
We started getting fluid in me, I was so dehydrated. Then some oatmeal. Then by the end of the night I was able to have grilled cheese with tomato soup.
My PS said not to extend my arms in any way. So moving I needed to wrap my hands over my belly. Not even let them hang straight at my sides at all. I tried and it hurt so I obeyed well.
The BF had to help me pee. That was embarrassing and I didn't expect someone to help me go to the bathroom! He acted like it wasn't a big deal.
One of my girlfriends came over. She said she couldn't believe how awake I was. Me neither! But as I got to my 3rd round of meds I was out cold.
I hate stairs. I was so dizzy I kept feeling like I would fall, it took forever to go up and down.
Ice feels soooo good. If there was lingering pain it would go away with the ice pack.
Let people do stuff for you! Everytime I would do anything even clench my fists (even texting tightens your muscles and you feel sore) I would start hurting and is have to remind myself to relax my arm muscles and by doing that my chest would release.
I kept getting cold and shivering, that hurts your chest like crazy!
I guess I'm officially on day 2 and so far the pain is not pain it is just sore. Pretty much when I got settled in at home it became manageable. I
And no strap because when you get a lift he doesn't want to put added pressure on the wound.
I had to peek
sneak peak #2
I feel rested and pain free and bored :( I haven't left the house and I can't wait to be cleared for a shower. Tomorrow is my first post op appointment.
You girls weren't kidding about the back pain from laying at a 45 degree angle all thetime The trick is putting a little pillow at the small of your back. Helps instantly remove pressure and feels really good.
I had visitors yesterday. The we were all sitting around talking and we were all bring hilarious joking around. ...I could not laugh with out hurting myself. Everyone was having these large bellyaching laughs and I had to hold them back as best I could. Thats the only part of social interaction that's been tough.
I'm eating just fine, normal appetite. I'm going to resume taking my iron suppliments and they said I could take a laxative too. Iron makes you bloated and constipated too so I feel like I've been such a fatty the last month!
So I woke up this morning and tried to get a selfie. I had a hard time getting the camera straight. I love them in the mirror but they look giant in this photo! Talk about swollen!
annoying spelling errors!
I changed my gauze and used rubbing alcohol to get my surgery marks off. I didn't like still having that on. Then I took a bath in about 3 inches of water. I kept the incisions away from getting wet! My hair needs washing but just getting the important spots made me feel way better!
We went to watch football. I hate football so that's how you can tell I was cooped up! I was stoked to hang in the sports book!
Then the BF took me to dinner. It's been 80 degrees every day but of course as soon as I have surgery the temperature drops! Walking back to the car I started shivering and my torso was contracting. I got in the car and I felt the first sharp pain yet. In my right boob. Tears welled up and I couldn't wait to get home. I also noticed it was right about time for my meds anyway so they were probably wearing of. Lesson is stay warm! Being cold hurts!
I iced for the rest of the night.
I peeked at the nips and they bled while I was out. How long do they bleed?
My post op is tomorrow. My roommate bff is taking me since BF is working.
I'm trying to go to a concert/Food festival Saturday. I think as long as I don't drink and as long as I'm not moshing and crowd surfing I'll be fine.
I had BF take photos...but he really is a terrible photographer. I'll post some tomorrow.
I also realize my boobs used to be pretty much numb and now they are regaining feeling. My nipples I don't know. They seem sensitive in the bra but when I touch them directly there is no feeling.
I told my doctor I understand Photoshop and all that so just tell me if I'm being unrealistic.
Also my #1 concern was fixing the asymmetry, the gap, the tuberous breast. Size was my #2 concern.
My PS said the blond is getting a lot of help from her bra but with the pix he gets an idea of what I find attractive.
Hope someone finds this helpful!
they didn't all post
1st post op appointment
She recommended prune juice for the constipation. I can't stand it, my belly is so big. I use an herbal laxitive tea when I do cleanses so I will use that. (The tea is called smooth move. Sometimes it causes bad cramps though. )
I got to take a shower and wash my hair! Yay! Girls that first shower is so significant! Think of all the showers you've taken and looked down and saw belly feet floor. Now it's big beautiful boobs and that's all I can see. Such a great moment.
Finally found a bra to wear instead of my surgical bra. It is so much better for my self esteem. I feel even sexier getting out of the surgical bra.
My left boobie is dropping slower than my right. I can tell now that swelling is starting to go down.
Overall they are looking so good. I feel so lucky to have been referred to a surgeon who seemed to so effortlessly improve me.
out and about
My boobs are really itchy. Anyone else havethis problem?
I'm still in no pain, still taking my muscle relaxers every 6 hours and half a pain killer every 2 hours. I can lift my arms over my head without cringing now but I was told not to so I don't unless necessary. (Favorite song at the concert.... ooops)
Starting to get the "shooting pains" but they aren't bad. They just feel cold like someone touched the inside of my skin with cold metal.
More and more girlfriends are expressing interest in their own boobie goals. I think having a close friend do it paves the way. Makes it seem easier and attainable. That's what happened to me. One of my bffs with similar boobs did hers and I felt like "why shouldn't I just admit That I want this."
So I'm not so fragile anymore, but when I was, the bf was careful to not get anywhere close to the boobies. He didn't even want to cuddle for fear of hurting me. Now I'm trying to "introduce" him to the girls. I will put his hands directly on them just to get him comfortable and let him know he's not hurting me. Success! This morning as he was leaving he gave me a goodbye kiss then gave each of my girls a little peck. No matter how much this surgery is for me and my own reasons, sex is something I was hoping to enjoy more and I can't wait to be healed enough to test that theory out!
I can't wait to start massaging!
I am still doing a lot of boobie reading. I keep trying to think of anything I would do differently and so far nothing comes to mind! I'm happy with how everything has gone so far and I hope I'm not speaking too soon!
My pains are still not painful.
I can kinda sleep on my side.
I feel like a kid running to the bathroom mirror every morning to see if they dropped more.
I can't wait to drive! Tomorrow!
2nd post op appt tomorrow!
They are still sooo high. When you guys refer to "drop and fluff" do they actually expand a bit or does fluff mean soften?
post op appointment #2
I hate to say it but they are so gross it's a little bit of a buzz kill! I don't want the BF to see the Boobie purgatory until they are a little more healed.
She showed me my massages. Gonna get on that pronto.
Here is another before/after photo. I am taking this bra back cause it's too small.
When I started my first massage I took that chance to get the bf involved. He was really looking forward to it. After seeing that I was still really sore he got uncomfortable with it again. So I'll be massaging my myself till he feels I'm less fragile lol
This morning I woke up with some specks of blood in my bra. I'm scared I'm moving them around too much and I'm going to put too much pressure on my incisions and mess them up! I hadn't bled at all and now I'm bleeding again? Is that normal for nipple incisions?
upper pole fullness
So I cleaned it and re-taped it. Took a pic of the incision for you girls to see. Keep in mind I had to have this incision because I also had a lift.
Girls with nipple incisions
I feel sexy but still feel fat and bloated. It's a double edged sword.
I started my monthly today :( I was being super moody and the boobs have felt super sensitive. All the skin around them and every thing. The white bralette in previous photos was *super* tight. That could be the dropping and fluffing though. I blame all this on my period anyway. It was smooth sailing till this came along.
going out tonight!
getting back to normal
I have been lightly massaging and they are getting so soft! I am liking being able to touch them more and more.
My incisions are still a little oozy but nothing that looks infected. I wish they would heal faster, they make me nervous.
No pain at all and I'm sleeping on my side a lot. I can do everything normally but I'm still trying to limit activity.
I go braless for a couple hours a day just to let them out. I don't know if this is damaging or not.
I'm still really happy. Can't wait to buy a new corset for work!
If I had done this sooner maybe I wouldn't hand battled eating disorders the way I did. I always felt like my stomach pooch stuck out past my stomach. I was always trying to combat that. I look in the mirror now and I don't even care as much about my stomach. I look good and when I'm back in the gym ill feel good too!
She recommended I take my tape off and they would dry. I don't think it looks infected.
I also was massaging today and found a lump on my right breast. I never felt lumps before. This is about the size of a dime and does not feel like the implant. I am thinking scar tissue?
lefty not doing well
The nurse said try to not cover them too much. She says I need to dry it out. So that means NO neosporin.
The good news is that it is not infected and it only causes minor discomfort.
My PS says they still have a ways to drop. And that because of this nipple problem my left boob is still more swollen than it should be.
I have mentioned I am a cocktail waitress. We need to buy our own corset for work. Mine was falling apart but I didn't want to buy a new one until after surgery. Well I did that yesterday. Here are some picture updates!
But my left incision is still not doing well. The scar will be hideous, it still hurts and I'm not comfortable working till it stops opening and bleeding and oozing. Work has been supportive and they asked if I would like to act as a vip host for the theater in the mean time. Its not a bad gig to do while I heal.
Every one keeps asking how this happened and I have no idea. Did I do something wrong? ? ?
I notice I get a lot of compliments. But it's always on my dress or necklace or something that no doubt my boobs compliment. Except my friends. They just come out and say it. "Your boobs! Wow! "
Overall my figure is so much more proportionate. I used to feel so fat or pudgy.I'vegained some weight not being in the gym. But with the boobs, clothes smooth out right over the "pudge" I used to see. So happy!
I was referred to Dr Roth by a trusted friend of mine. Originally I was going to go to several consultations, however Dr Roth seemed knowledgeable and experienced so I didn't feel the need to look further. I'm very happy with the customer service I received and so far the after care has been great also.