Dear Ladies,I can't thank you all enough for all...
Dear Ladies,I can't thank you all enough for all your stories. I have been following many of you since Sept 2012. This site has helped reasure me at times when I've felt really anxious.
My story... I started to grow quite early but underdeveloped during my teenage and early adult life. With family directly and indirectly saying awful things about small and flat chests, I no doubt developed a huge complex. I felt inadequete, inferior, and undesirable. I wanted to wear certain clothes but I felt I couldn't because I felt so flat. I think I was an A cup. I was never measured as I was too embarrassed. I got 290cc subglandular, high profile round implants in 2007 when I was 21, making me a C cup. Although I was happy with the size, I've never been happy with having implants in me. I would love real ones, ones that wobble.
In 2009, I approached the clinic who put them in, explaining I would like them removed. They really scared me saying how awful I'd look with sagging skin etc. On and off since then, I have bouts where I feel I can't cope with them in. So, in dec 2011, I said to my husband, after I finish breastfeeding our little boy, I would like to look into getting them removed. My hubby has been great, so supportive. Then came jan 2012 and I discover I have pip implants. The stress was immense. Thankfully, I had scans and all was ok. So, I finished breastfeeding jan 2013 after 16 months.
My first appt with consultant was last Tues 12th Feb and it was awful. He grabbed and pinched the skin around the nipple and said that's all I have and I will be very flat and if I can cope/live with that then fine. I didn't understand as I'm bigger than before pregnancy and according to nurse when I was getting implants in 2007, she said I had enough tissue there for them. He tried to get me to agree to more implants too. I said I would just like removal. He said well if you can deal with a smooth silhouette! It was all too quick my time with him. He said right then, a capsulectomy needed, drains in over night, here's the price, here's the date we can do, and here's the door! That's how I felt it went. I was only in ther 10-15mins! I thought, but I've had scans, I may not need a capsulectomy. It was all too quick. It felt so inhumane. I've managed to dust myself off. Its so hard at times having this hanging over me.
I've managed to book another consultant for 7 March. His profile looks good. He does reconstruction amongst many other things. Does work for the nhs and specialises in wounds and scar tissue. The hospital have been very nice so that's a good start and they had a price on record for a removal only (£2900) so it sounds like they do do removals. I will let you all know how I get on and hope all you ladies are all doing well.
I will post a photo soon. X
This is me ladies, after 16 months breastfeeding.....
This is me ladies, after 16 months breastfeeding...gulp! They've gone more east/west and one is slightly bigger than the other. On the eye I thought the right was bigger but camera says its the left! Haha.
Hmmm who to believe!
Unfortunately, I don't have any before pics. The clinic who took some before pics said they destroy them! As you can see I do have some rippling. I'm unsure of the size to be honest. I was measured 2weeks ago as 30DD but I really don't look like that do I. Other DD women look bigger than me I think. The bra did fit though and I have a 32D nursing bra at home that still fits too. Maybe its becasue I measured a 30" band. My boobs may change from now until summer still. I'm feeling better this week than last week. I think its becasue I've joined this site. Its just made me feel better. I no longer feel so alone. x
Hi Ladies, I had an appointment today with a...
Hi Ladies, I had an appointment today with a different PS. I can't explain how relieved and pleased I am! He's really lovely. He was pleasant, curteous, and I enjoyed his company. Above all I feel really comfortable with him.
Basically, the good news is that my implants feel intact. And because I don't have any pain or discomfort and he can't feel any Lymph Nodes, I won't need a Capsulectomy. The other good news is that I can do it under General and go home the same day. Thankgod! It was a huge upset to me thinking I may have to stay in because its only my husband and I here looking after baby. We don't have family close by. Also, my son has never been away from me for a long time and I'd be devastated if he was in a lot of distress, which he would be, bless him.
The not so good news is Subglandular pockets! He said he doesn't recommend this and especially for me as I'm dainty. He said that after explant the breasts could become scalloped to the chest wall. He did say that the breasts could tighten up in time. Here's hoping Ladies! I really hope so! I hope I don't cave in. I hope the fluff fairy is kind to me! The other points are loss of volume due to breastfeeding and the rippling on the insides, which is due to thinning of breast tissue due to Subglandular pockets! Damn it! Has anyone had subglandular ones and all's been ok? I'm still confused though because I'm still bigger than before pregnancy. I'll just have to wait and see.
A wee bit of info on these bloody PIP implants Ladies...he called them "bad implants and around the time I got them in in 2007, there was a lot of these bad implants going around". Yikes! Scary stuff! He said implants have a shell, like a layer. PIP's have 1 layer and better quality implants have 2 or 3 layers. These layers prevent silicone diffusion, which is a leakage going into the Capsule Membrane. The better implants, he says (and I thought 'better'...sod them all)! They are 300 times better than PIP's (that's the ratio of silicone diffusion). So if leakage happens, silicone goes into the capsule, then into its lining, and into the Lymph Nodes. I felt sick as a chip at this point! Whilst I've been eating organic food, using chemically free face and body wash, deodrant, and household cleaners over the past 3 years...as well as buying a water filter and seeing a wonderful herbalist, I'm walking around with 2 miniature mines stuck to my chest! Utter madness!
What was really reasurring was he ended the consultation by saying "I think you're going to be pleased to have them out". I'm just so happy he's been so supportive. Its a huge weight of my mind. To all the lovely ladies here...there are good ones out there. My first one was awful but I took the advice off many ladies here and I did my research. Thanks a million for that advice!
So my plan next is to phone his wife tomorrow, who's his secretary and a plastic/cosmetic nurse, and see what dates I can have. I was going for July as its 6 months after breastfeeding but he said I'd be ok and it was also easier with hubbys work. But I'm going to see what they have and if its earlier than july...great...so be it. I'm ready to join you on the other side! I really hope some of the things I asked about today and what I've written here will help others. I Will keep you all posted. X
I have my date for surgery and I'll be joining...
I have my date for surgery and I'll be joining Team Explant on 1st July. July's the month for me. I tried to bring it forward but I kept coming back to July so I'm flowing with it. Surgeon's wife (also the nurse) said that I can be first on the list that day so I can have more time to recover before going home at tea time. Such a relief for me and hubby too. She's really lovely too and she said that her husband has taken out many PIP implants this last year. Many of them who initially came to him were adament to re-implant 3 months after removal but after that period, decided against it, and stayed au naturale. I was really pleased to hear that as it shows he's done removals only and that the Ladies have been happy with the result! I hope I'm one of them too.
Although it seems a long way off, it'll come around quick. I have different things planned each month to look forward to and to enjoy, which will get me that bit closer to July. It makes all the difference finding a nice surgeon and having everything in place. They are out there amongst the not so nice. That's the important and reasurring thing...there are nice ones out there.
There's only one thing that keeps niggling me sometimes...thinning breast tissue, these subglandular pockets, and breastfeeding will result in less volume. I'm keeping positive and you lovely ladies are a great support. I'll just have to wait and see. Go Team Explant! x
Morning Ladies, I have some info on massage,...
Morning Ladies, I have some info on massage, technique and oils to use to help stimulate 'fluffing' up breast tissue. Been trying to post the link but I've been having trouble. I'm using my phone for the internet atm so don't know whether its that. Or could just be me! I'm not that technologically advanced at all! It took me 3 months to realise I had bbm! Hubby's worse! His phone dates back to the late 90's I'm sure! I think we live in the past!
Here's the link;
I found the article really interesting and once I changed my massage technique to the one mentioned here, I did see a difference. I did it because I was afraid of loosing my size after 16 months nursing. I think I just want to try and give myself the best chance I can for explant too eeeek! There must be something in it though, as last March 2012, I measured 32D (that was at 6 months nursing) and this March I still measure that. PHEW! I'm so thankful for that as I think with me loosing my mum-in-law last year too, the devastation took its toll and I went down to 7 stone. I was devastated with it. The good news is, since finishing bfeeding in jan, I've gained 13lbs. I'm over the moon to say the least. And boobs have stayed the same, well, apart from the fact you can park a bl**dy bus between them now, never mind a bike!
If any of you lovely ladies have trouble opening the link;
Google 'natural remedies site blog' and it should come up. On that site, click in the box, and scroll down to articles. The article is called 'increase a cup size in 30 days with breast massage'.
Although I've not tried this to increase, it really has helped me to maintain what I gained in pregnancy. My hubby says he's noticed a wee increase in volume though! I'll take anything! I think overall, its good for breast health anyways too.
I hope you find it useful. Best wishes and good luck :o) xx
P.s. Apparently if you massage in the opposite direction, it can shrink them! Yikes!
Hi Ladies, I thought I'd update some photo's as...
Hi Ladies, I thought I'd update some photo's as I've mentioned to some of you I've noticed some changes. And they could help others too. Well, Its been 4 months since finishing breastfeeding and I have just under two months to go until I explant! 8 weeks tomorrow. Phew! They're not as East/West as before or as rippled. There is still a wee bit of rippling because I'm over the muscle and have pips, but I feel its really not as bad as my February boob shots! I'm hoping all of this is some positives! Although, sometimes I've felt 'fed up' waiting... At times I've wanted to rip them out myself...I do feel I've done the right thing waiting the full 6 months espec with these changes. I Couldnae have done it without you ladies. Proper love ya's! I've been keeping myself busy and to focus on other things I've started working out. I do a bit of boxing in my session and I've put a photo of an implant on each of the pads I hit! Hehe. Its a great release! I'm 'made up' I can only fit a thumb in between them! Before it was 3 fingers!! Hopefully, I'll have something there to squash together once all healed and fluffed! I'm hoping I can do a speed bump shot like Laineylou! ;o) Well ladies, I'll close for now. I will update a photo just before surgery so we have a before and after shot too eeeek hehe. Keep smiling gal's xx
Second Consultation & Pre-op
Hey ladies, I'm still here! Lol. But not long to go now. What a wait its been! I saw my surgeon yesterday and he just run through what he told me earlier this year and to sign consent forms...all being well, it'll be a straightforward removal and wash with no capsulectomy which should take around an hour.
The usual negatives discussed: possible deformity and loss of volume due to breastfeeding :o(
However two positives that I'm focussing more on. He said its good I've waited 6 months since finishing breastfeeding as the tissue will be more settled and stronger than earlier this year. He also mentioned, when he's seen ladies who have had theirs removed at their 6 week post-op appointment, they've said 'its the best thing they've ever done'. It was good of him to say that to me.
The hardest thing I've found is managing expectations. My wee moto has always been "hope for the best, expect the worst". Probably not a good moto. I don't wanna hope too much incase I'm disapointed or worse, distraught. But I don't wanna think the absolute worst otherwise I'd be a nervous wreck! Some positivity is needed. Finding a happy medium is somewhat tricky!
I don't wanna be like a cake! You know when you look in the oven, hoping for dear life as you open it, but with all the hope in the world you see your best efforts have sunk to the bottom of the baking tray!
But that aside, being at the hospital today for my pre-op just made me feel ready. I just wanted to run down the corridor to the theatre room and jump on the table!
Pre-op was just the normal stuff, blood pressure taken and checking I filled out my medical forms correctly. Hence, changing my weight from 8lbs 1oz, to my proper weight! What a nut! I swear in the run up to this op, I'm going more loopy than usual!
Well ladies, 6 days and counting until I become Little Miss No Boobs! Can't wait to log on and tell y'all I've finally made it! (Had to get "y'all" in there! Explanting Texan has rubbed off on me :o) )
Thanks for all the support and advice as well as just being there, its more reasurring than the lonliness felt before I discovered this site. Numbers of brave explanters are on the increase :o) Keep strong x
Tomorrow's the Day
Hey Ladies, just wanted to post another implant shot before the big day, so we have before and after pics.
I'm all set, brows shaped, legs waxed, bikini line waxed...couldn't have tarantula's legs trying to escape beneath my paper knickers! So, after removal I'll feel like I've had a full MOT! Just tried to prepare on all fronts really, to feel good in other places!
God, this is really it. I feel like I've spent so much time in the background, I can't believe its really my turn :o)
Thanks for everything ladies. Fingers crossed and I'll see you on the other side.... X
All done & home sweet home
Hi Ladies, thank you so much for all your well wishes, support and encouragement. I'm not long home. I would have loved to log on sooner, but my reception wasn't the best at the hospital.
The op went smoothly. Took an hour and the dreaded PiPs were in tact. Phew! Just a slight leak in the pocket but it hadn't gone into the capsule. I had the 'jet wash' to clean mw out and then dissolvable stitches and glue.
I feel flat as a panko! I don't think I've felt this flat since I was 8! I have dressings on at the moment, which won't be taken off until next week. I should be able to take pics then. I'm pleased I can't see as I'd only keep checking! I'd like to be as less-obsessive as poss!
I must admit when the dressings were changed I got a shock. Its been an emotional 24 hours. The usual (surgeon said normal which he's seen a lot of) upset that happens after removal....I was overwhelmed with "why did I get implants, I looked fine, will they improve"...They look like shrivelled prunes! The tape made them look worse the nurse said. Then came, "how will I take my son swimming, or how can I continue to dance or wear my fav tops". Mind and panick ran away with me. I was so emotional, the surgeon came to see me this morning from his other hospital. He reasured me that at the moment, things don't look great because mine were placed sub-glandular. The tissue and skin has stretched more so and has contracted back in a wrinkled way. In time, he explained, they will mould back. I'm just so pleased he came to see me, I really needed to hear that before I went home and it was good of him. I always feared I wasn't in the best position with this.
The nurse was lovely. She said 'you don't need implants, you're a lovely looking girl'. I don't see it but I hope so one day. It was very kind of her but I felt battered.
I'm on antibiotics to avoid any infection. My right side is uncomfortable. Like a wee sting near the insicion. But I've needed no pain relief since the op.
I'm finding it hard sleeping especially propped and on my back but I'm trying to get as much rest as poss. God, its boring isn't it! My son (he's 22 months) has been in a state. Its the first time he's ever been away from me so its gunna take some time for him to settle tonight. I'm so comforted to be home ladies. I'm exhausted, totally wiped out. I hope all this I've written makes sense as I don't feel 'with it'.
I'll close for now. Thanks so much again for all your thoughts and wishes. I hope you're all doing well. Will be in touch. Lots of love to all x
Day Two Post Deflation!
Hi Ladies, I'm still feeling sick as a chip! I think its the effects of the antibiotics too. I'm managing to eat more today and I've slept better so its heading in the right direction.
I've posted some shots in my surgical bra. They're taped up underneath but I wanted to post something. My bra lady is coming around to my house at the weekend to put me in a better fitting one.
I have noticed a wee bit more of a molehill forming, more so on the Right side. I breastfed more on the Left side. On the side shots however, the Right seems to look smaller. I think my boobs just want to hide under my arm pit!
I'm emotionally feeling better today. Its like going through a whirlpool but I'm glad to be on the natural side of life. No more nasty pip's.
Thanks so much again for all your lovely messages. I'm off to 'Z' land again. Can't stop dozing. Will speak soon x
Dressings are off! One week post-op
Hi Ladies, I had my dressings off today. It was a sore one! Very sticky. I was worried my boobs were going to come off with the tape!
Well, I'm pleasantly surprised. Phew! I think I'm Little Miss 'Some' Boob. They're far from perfect but I feel its a good starting point. I was dreading it. I was expecting to find two bashed playdough lumps that had been battered with a rolling pin!
The nipples curl over and the upper pole is empty. Its like a have a boob shape but needs 'filling-in'. They're very mushy. Thankfully, surgeon said there is volume, we just don't see it yet. And that it will take me that wee bit longer to bounce back due to the sub-glandular placement.
I was expecting far worse ladies. I felt I had things stacked against me; the position, PIPs, breastfeeding, and the weightloss I had last year. I'm just so relieved.
Ladies out there considering explant, please don't be scared. You can do it. Whatever the surgeon's say, they have to tell us all the possible negative side-effects, but it doesn't mean it will necessarily happen to you. Our bodies do amazing things for us. Keep strong. Hugs to all x
I forgot to mention, I still have to have wee strips over the wound. Nurse said these will come off on their own accord. She took off my dressings, cleaned the wound and then placed these smaller strips over.
Can't have a bath for another week. I look forward to that next Mon! x
Finding tops that work whilst compressed
Hey Ladies, although I'm relieved to have some wee tissue left, I'm looking pretty flat as a board in tops. With wearing compression too, its probably not helping. I've dug out a Tee I bought just a few months ago, which I feel much better in. It has a drape and is gathered at the bust, with a slight cowl neck design, which add's texture to that area. Its by Nicole Farhi for Spring/Summer 13, incase any of you lovely ladies were having a similar problem with tops. x
1 Month Post-Op
I can't believe its been 1 month since explanting! I'm so much happier and soooo relieved its all done. It feel's good not to be hiding or dreading people thinking 'there's another fakie'!
So far I'm pleased with their progress. I'm still Little Miss Floppy Nips, but finding I have some breast left, I'm just happy with that. I'm now thinking the wee creases underneath the nipple, is a smiley face. Awww! They're probably relieved to be free from being stuck out for all that time. Poor sods!
The only difficult thing I found in the first month was clothes. Most of what I had didn't suit at all but I've managed to find some items that made me feel happier. I've attached pics to help others too. The bra I'm wearing under all tops is a post surgery bandeau bra. There's no padding at all! :o)
I've been applying calendula oil for the past 3 weeks and I feel its really improved my skin from all the stretching. Hopefully I will continue to improve as time goes on.
My scars are doing ok too. They're 3" long but I don't feel they're as dark as I thought they were going to be. There's still some dried blood lurking around. Will also attach pics.
Well ladies, I hope your all well and continuing to heal beautifully. And to all lovely ladies waiting in the wings, you'll feel so much happier natural. Promise :o) Take care to all x
My internet crashed before the rest of my photos uploaded. Hopefully will work now.
6 weeks post-op photos
Hey Lovelies, just wanted to post a few shots since I was 6 weeks post-op yesterday. I will post montly shots from now on and hopefully they'll help others. Hope all is well for everyone x
2 months post-op photos
Hope you're all doing well. I was 2 months post-op on Sunday 1st. Its been a manic week otherwise I wouldve posted sooner.
All is going ok. I think I've had some fluffing. Although the left is lagging behind! Where the crease is, my left also sits higher but I've noticed recently that between where it should be and where it is, its filling-in.
I feel nips aren't as floppy but they're still deffo on sabatical! No sensation as yet too.
All in all, I'm still very much over the moon to be in the natural club :o) x
Scars at 2 months
Forgot the scar pics, taken at 2 months. The thing is I've forgotten which is the left and which is the right!