Hi & hello! My name is Jenna, I'm 24, 5'4 and 153...
Hi & hello! My name is Jenna, I'm 24, 5'4 and 153 lbs. I am currently a 34a that I don't quite fill out. I have been struggling with a rough case of Crohn's Disease since I was 13, which left me with pre-pubescent breasts, even as we have gotten my Crohn's under control. I have always talked about getting my boobs done as I came into womanhood because I don't feel like they fit my body. I am by no means overweight, but I am a substantial girl with hips, a bubble butt, and "American Thighs". Lol. I never really thought I would get the opportunity as I already have medical bills that are necessary and I had a hard time justifying spending the money on elective surgery. My Mom has been gracious enough to offer to pay for my procedure in full upfront and I can pay her back half as I go. I am so excited, I just never thought this would be possible! I can't wait to feel "complete"!
I already went to a consultation that did NOT go well! The doctor never introduced himself, just popped his head in and told me to take my shirt off, briefly looked me over and told me to put my shirt back on and closed the door. When he came back in he showed me a piece of paper and said "This is how much you'll pay" and showed me two pictures, one of which I did not like the results. When I told him so, he just shrugged and asked if I had any questions. When I started asking him questions, like whether he thought my Crohn's would effect anything (7 diff medications, 22 pills a day), he shrugged and said I would get a packet before preop, asked if I had any more questions and when I said no, he said, "So do you want to pay now?". I have never left a doctors office so fast!!!! He left me feeling uncomfortable, not confident in my decision, and even kind of violated. It took me a few weeks - and a lot of story reading on this site! - to decide whether this was right for me or not, and I know now more than ever that I want to look like the woman I feel I am!!! A big thank you to all of those who have shared their stories!!
I have found another doctor closer to home that comes highly recommended and I like his work. I have an appointment on the 16th and I am so nervous that I will have a similar experience as last time that I am making a friend go with me!!! I am still deep-down excited and hopeful! I will, of course, keep you all updated!
Only you gals will get it!
It's been muggy & humid here in Wisco, and I suddenly got excited to think that hopefully this time next year I will know what it is like to have the ever dreaded boob sweat! Although I'm sure it will be as annoying as it seems, but it will mean I have BOOBS!!! I'm not crazy, right?! Lol.
One week until my appointment, I'm trying not to get too excited and get my hopes up, but seeing all of you girls beautiful results... well it's hard not to!!!
I have always wanted bigger boobs to help fill out my frame, but now that I have decided to get a BA, I am much more subconscious and aware of just how ugly they are. =(
I'm not doing this because I have a bad selfbody image, I'm really quite happy with the rest of me, but I have never disliked my boobs as much as I do now... did anyone else feel this way after deciding to get a BA?
Saw Dr. Paresi today and I LOVED him! Very personable, took a lot of interest in me personally - asked about my Crohn's and the surgeries I've had, and even asked about my horse when I told him I ride. He spent about an hour and a half with me, answered all of my questions and made me feel completely at ease! He doesn't foresee any issues with the Crohn's other than the steroid I take because it can slow the healing process. He is going to talk to my GI about this. =)
We agreed on 300cc to 325cc High Profile (due to being narrow) Silicone implants to bring me to the full C I desire. He said I am a great canidate for a BA and thinks I will have "beautiful results". Yay!!!!!!!
My measurements were:
From throat to nipple:
L - 21 inches
R - 21.5 inches
L - 13 inches
R - 13.5 inches
Crease to nipple:.
L - 7"
R - 7"
I am sooooooo happy and can't wait, I feel completely confident with my choice for PS and have set my surgery date for November 20th. The reason I went so far out is because I want to miss out on as little riding as possible. With Nov. 20th I figure I will naturally be riding less with the holidays and the colder weather. He said I will most likely be able to return to light riding within 4 to 5 weeks, which is perfect. I'm still going to have my trainer come out so he isn't just sitting, though!
I hope everyone who has recently had their surgeries are happy & well!
My surgery is already all paid in full - lots of extra time to start paying it off! The sooner, the better! For now I'm just going to make sure to keep my body in extra good shape (easy peasy since it's summer!) and keep up with all you wonderful ladies. I can't wait, I can't wait, I can't wait!!!!
So how did you single ladies handle dating in the interim between pre-BA and post-BA? Unlike most of the stories I have read on here I am very open about getting my boobies "refurbished" with those I am close to in my life - all of my immediate family and the majority of my friends. There is going to be a noticeable difference, and I am very comfortable when it comes to my body and them (everyone at some point has helped me change a leaky illeostomy bag -not for the faint of heart!) and am more comfortable with people knowing what to expect than having to explain afterward. All of them are very supportive and encouraging!
Anyway, when this comes up in conversation in a group with someone you are talking to and potentially interested in seeing, it does get a bit awkward... while I can understand a guy getting excited (it's BOOBS, I get it), and while no one has been vulgar, I don't want a guy to be interested purely for the curiosity of the "before and after". One guy even seems LESS interested knowing what I am doing! It's just an interesting position to be in and I am curious to see what you other ladies have experienced!
Saline vs Silicone
Due to another bloggers story on here, I am reconsidering my choice to get silicone instead of saline. My PS said he preferred silicone for me because saline implants tend to move around a little more and because my boobs are already far apart (and the goal is to try to get them to look a little fuller in the middle) he thinks silicone would be best. Does anyone else have any experience with this? Why did you choose silicone or saline for yourself besides the obvious cost and health reasons?
A little more than a month out and I am realizing I am not ready!!! I keep trying to envision myself with bigger boobs or try to go around with my rice sizers, but it still doesn't feel real and I still know they're not "my boobs". I hope I will feel differently after the surgery since they will no, more or less, be a part of me. It will still just be so weird to see, though. I'm still not too nervous... and am definitely excited to be able to feel completely confident in my body in or out of clothes! I hope I will recover as quickly as I'm picturing in my mind while still being aware that I need to take it easy - which is definitely going to be the hardest part for me. I'm also nervous that 8 days won't be long enough before I meet my boyfriends family for the first time at Thanksgiving - HA! What timing, right?! Chunky sweater & leggings it is! Good luck to all of you girls who have upcoming surgeries and I hope everyone who has recently had surgery is healing well!!!
I am exactly one Month out from being in the "other side"! I can't wait to join all you ladies! Soooooo excited!
I feel like I should be starting to get everything ready but I won't have any answers til pre-op one week out!!! What kind of bra does he want me to get? Will he want me to get ice packs? What creams/vitamins does he want me to take? Will he want me to sleep sitting up so should I get a pillow chair? So many questions!!! I just want to feel prepared and not rushed the week before!
Pre-Op Appointment is set!
PS's office just called to remind me of my 2:00 appointment next Wednesday! Holy cow where did the time go??? I told my boyfriend and his reaction was, "A week?! I'm not ready!!!" He's not ready?! Lol. It was cute, though. I just went through a bunch of stories on here and am feeling so good about my decision. Thank you, ladies!
I have my trusty-dusty Bubba all ready to go, a very comfy, plush couch with pillows, a very "hands-on" boyfriend at the ready, and such an amazingly supportive group of friends and family. I have been a fast healer in the past and have always bounced back quickly from much more invasive and serious surgeries, so I'm really hoping it will be the same this time around - still nervous about Thanksgiving being only 8 days later. And honestly... I'm kind of looking forward to being a little constipated since (with having had over 7 ft. of intestine removed & Crohn's issues in general) I generally go about 10 times a day. TMI, I know, I'm sorry!!! But the thought of NOT having to go so often while I'm recovering is so relieving. I'm not going to want to go back to normal!
Just feeling so high and happy right now, I hope it lasts throughout! I'm sure once the date gets closer that nervousness will start to creep back in, but for right now I just want to live in my oh-so-happy booby thoughts. =)
Officially 1 Week Out!
I had my pre-op with Dr. Peresi today and am feeling really great about everything! His nurse is so wonderful... she really just sealed the deal for me today. She was the only nurse working today and I knew she was really busy, but not at any point did she make me feel rushed or act like any of my questions, even the trivial ones, weren't worth her time. She said she will personally be there holding my hand next Wednesday - which I loved hearing. And she has a lot of admiration for Dr. Paresi, which is a compliment from her as she's had 20+ years working in plastic surgery, 10 of which she spent in California. She said Dr. Paresi is the only doctor she's worked with so far that she would trust to do anything on not just her, but her daughters -- that's a big compliment in my eyes!
We went over sizing and profile again and I himmed & hawed between 325cc and 350cc. They just don't look big enough now that I've looked at so many pictures of what other girls have gotten, but I know it will be very different once I live with them and they are a literal part of me. And I know that I really don't want to be that big or busty, I feel like I can always wear a push-up bra if I'm looking for a little extra "va-va-voom". I just want to feel more shapely and like my body is proportionate and I think 325cc gives me that, and my PS seems to be very confident in that decision as well. When I told him I was struggling with the decision, he just smiled and said he thinks 325cc will give me the results I'm looking for. But, really... 350cc isn't THAT much more... oh the dilemma! I will sleep on it and if I wake up in the morning still thinking 350cc I will call them and hopefully they won't have put the order through yet. What do you girls think that got a similar size??
Other than that the appointment was pretty typical. I will be the first surgery at 8 am next Wednesday. I'll arrive at 630, surgery should take about an hour and a half, will stay in recovery for an hour, then away to home I will go! I'll be all bandaged up until Saturday when I can then take it off and shower. He then instructed me to immediately go out and buy a few sports bras - any kind that I like as long as they are supportive, and wear them 24/7 for the next 6 weeks. I can sleep on my back or my side, just not on my tummy. I'm allowed to lift my arms over my head, and I can do light stretching, but nothing crazy. No lifting anything over 10lbs for 6 weeks, only light cardio for 6 weeks, and no sex for 4 weeks. 4 weeks seems like a long time to me, though... how long did you guys wait??
I just found out my boyfriend will be going up North for hunting that weekend, the weekend of the 22nd, so I'll only see him for a short time Wednesday night. I was pretty bummed about that, but it's not like I'll be doing anything real exciting anyway. And hopefully he'll get a nice buck. That should give me some quality time to relax and hang out with some friends.
Now that I've had the appointment and gone over everything I'm just ready for it to be here and to get this process started. Like, I wish it was tomorrow... and even though I know this weekend will fly by and I'll feel like it got here fast, I'm just plain ready!
Thanks for hanging in there with me, I know this was a long post!!
I'm really starting to worry about my size. It's not that I don't trust my PS, it's just the uncertainty of it all. I don't want to be TOO big, but I also don't want to wish I had gone bigger after it's all said and done. I don't know what to do. =(
20 Nov 2013
Day of treatment
It's happening!!!! Off to the hospital I go! See you ladies on the other side!!! ;-)
(Why do I feel so cool saying that? Lol.)
Day of Update!
20 Nov 2013
Day of treatment
Sorry it's taken me so long to update, ladies! I've been dozing on and off since I got home.
So I got to the hospital at 630 this morning, checked in right away and went over to the surgery center. I only waited about 5 minutes before they took me back to my prep room. My nurses were so nice! Sweet and cheery and friendly. We were all chatting like old friends and they all told me how much they love Dr. Paresi which is so awesome to hear!
The anesthesiologist came in and talked with me for a bit before the main nurse and Doc came in to mark me up. He was very sweet and attentive and was telling me funny stories, it was such a lovely experience! About a minute after he left the nurses came back to take me to the surgery room! The bed was heated and I got a "warm vac" plugges in to my gown so I was sooooo toasty and comfortable! Before I knew it I was being woken up!
I wasn't in much pain at all, my left boob was definitely super tender and I was having trouble moving that arm. I came about pretty quickly and they got me set up in a heated chair with warm blankets which just made me sleepy again. They set me up with a few ice packs and gave me some pain meds through my IV after I ate, drank, and pottied. Once my pain went away they helped me get dressed and home I went around 1 o'clock!
The car ride was easy, didn't feel sick or anything. Got home, took care of my pups,took my oxycodone and muscle relaxer and settled in! I can do just about everything, including lift my arms over my head. I'm sore, but still no pain! I hope it stays this way!!!
I'm all wrapped up and can't really see how they're looking. I'm just watching some TV, waiting for my boyfriend to come home (who surprised me by going down to the barn and taking care of the horses so I would relax when I got home - soooo sweet!!) and about to eat a ham & cheesey and take some more meds!
Overall I am REALLY pleased with my experience! Although I am itchy all over so I think I might be having a reaction to something. =/ I don't have a rash, but if it continues tomorrow I'll bring it up to the nurse when she calls.
I hope all you ladies healing and all you ladies with surgeries coming up are doing well!!!
Today has been pretty easy and I'm not in any more pain than I was yesterday although I'm still sore. Sleeping was a bit tricky. I tried to stay propped up, but kept rolling off to the side so I ended up laying flat on my back but couldn't get up or roll over. Thank goodness my boyfriend was there to help me! I'm going to try sleeping on the couch tonight to see if that helps
I've only taken 2 oxy and 2 muscle relaxers - this morning I was pretty stiff and my boobs felt REALLY tight and high, but once the meds kicked in and I iced them for a while I felt pretty normal until this evening they were starting to feel like they did this morning.
I still don't think it's hit me yet that I have boobs and they still seem small even with the wrap. I wonder if that's just an illusion? I can't wait to get this wrap off to see what I'm working with and ITCH! Oh to scratch those itches sounds like heaven right now!
I hope all you ladies are doing wondefully that had surgery recently and I'm so excited for all of you with surgery coming up!
"The Big Reveal"
Oh, shower! Glorious shower!!! I think I was almost more excited to shower than to see my boobs! Lol. So far they feel great, no pain, but I am getting some burning and zings -- nothing major, just noticeable.
They're still riding high, but I'm happy with the size so far. I'm hoping I won't lose too much since they don't seem very swollen right now. They're still really numb, so I don't think I'm quite aware that they're there yet. I went shopping to pick up sports bras and between the cold and taking bras on & off I could feel them creeping up and getting super tight so I had to take a muscle relaxer, but I haven't taken any Oxy since yesterday.
Sorry about the emotional rollercoaster I've been on. I got my period and I think that just added to the "booby blues" of not seeing them and sitting around all day!
Not all the pictures uploaded...
More pictures from this morning. Definitely did too much this morning. So sleepy...
Should I be worried?
It's such a slight difference, but if you look at my right breast it tucks under nicely and the incision is in my crease. On my left side my breast is a little "bubbled out" and the incision is not on the crease. Is this something I should worry about? I have my po-op appointment on Tuesday, but if this is something concerning I'll try to get in today or tomorrow. I'm so worried. =((
1 week Post-Op Today
Well, I called my PS office yesterday and talked to the nurse, who after telling her about what was going on, said "It doesn't sound like you're bottoming out, but we can't know without looking" in which I almost cried. I asked if I could come in early, but my PS was at another hospital that day so she gave me the number to reach him there. He was SUPER patient with me and took away all of my concern until I could see him today and must have talked to me for 15 or 20 minutes.
He said he could see a definite difference in my breasts, but said they both looked good and normal, and that my left muscle is pushing the implant down (causing the bulge [it literally feels like someone has their palm against my breast and is pushing with all their weight and everything is popping out the bottom]) and my right muscle is pushing the implant up -- causing the difference in appearance. He did some squishing to see if he could feel anything unusual and I just about wanted to cry!!! They don't hurt normally, but my goodness that was not fun! He didn't instruct me to do any massages at home, though. It's just so weird that I feel so much pressure on my left and next to none on my right! He told to keep taking my muscle relaxers to help alleviate some of the pressure I'm feeling.
My left incision is soooooo itchy!!!!!! And again, my right is perfectly fine. I guess I'd rather just deal with one unbearable itch than two! I go back to see him next week to get my steri-strips taken off. I was also cleared to do low-impact cardio, and lower body workouts -yay!!! I need to keep my muscles strong so when I get back to riding I'm not a limp fish up in the saddle!
My boyfriend got to see them for the last time last night. It was so cute because he was so nervous and soooooo gentle! My boobs felt big to me, much more than a handful, but once he put his big 'ol hands on 'em they just looked dwarfed!!! He said he wouldn't have wanted me to go any bigger though, and I think they look really proportionate to my body - at least in clothes (I'll have to play dress up and take some pics!). I'm still getting used to the way they look nakey... but I think it's just going to be that way until they start to look like "real boobs". Lol.
I hope all of you ladies in recovery are doing great and good luck to all you ladies with surgeries coming up!
I forgot to mention that I slept on the couch up until yesterday with two fluffy pillows - one on the arm rest and one on the back of the couch (like an L) so I could sleep with my back to either and "lean" to the side and still be supported. This worked wonders for me if any of you are having a hard time finding a good sleeping position! Last night I slept in bed on my back and had no problems or pain. I still can't sleep on my side, though.
I've got feeling in my nipples (thankfully!), but around my boob seems to have "muted" feeling. Not in any pain, though! Sometimes if I move a certain way or try to push on something I get a searing pain, so I just avoid doing it. Lol. Pulling the car door closed from the inside (especially since it's my left) has proven interesting!
I might go out with some friends tonight, I'm both excited and nervous!
I'm terrible about taking pictures! I don't know how you girls get such good shots. Lol. I think I could have gone a little bigger, but overall I am very happy with the size I chose. I have to remember that they are still riding high and smooshed inside a sports bra right now (feels good to let them out when I shower!), so they might look bigger/smaller in the end. Either way, I am enjoying them! Lefty is still giving me trouble and sitting funky, but I'm trying to be patient and not wig out over all the tiny details. Lol.
I hope all you wonderful ladies have a great Thanksgiving!
I went to shower today and saw an obvious difference in my left breast. Please tell me this isn't bottoming out... I just saw my PS and he said it was fine but this doesn't look normal!
Nothing has changed and I'm so upset. I see my PS on Tuesday. The difference is so obvious I can't even wear tighter shirts right now because the left boob bulging out at the bottom is so noticeable that my friend brought it up to me. I know there are risks of complications with getting a BA, and I know I'm not even 2 weeks out, but I wish I knew why it was doing this. Like if I hadn't followed instructions and blame it on "Oh, I did this when I shouldn't have", but I haven't. I've actually been favoring my left because it's been the more problematic from the beginning. Almost everything I've read about dubblebubble says it needs to be surgically repaired. I'm hoping and praying my PS will say differently.
2 Week Post-Op Appt.
I saw my PS this morning and he said my left breast muscle isn't releasing enough to stretch over my implant causing it to have that crease. He said it may or may not fix itself, but that it's too early to tell right now. He said it it doesn't "look perfect" (his words) in 6 months, that he can go in and cut some of the muscle to create a bigger pocket. He said it's a minor surgery and I would see almost instant results. He didn't seem too worried or upset, and just talking to him made me feel better, but knowing it could look like this for 6 months and that I would have to go in for a revision is still just stressful. I did this to feel less insecure and here I am, feeling insecure.
The good news is that righty is looking great, settling well, and he thinks I should get a really natural result on that side. He wants me to wear a strap every night, and as much during the day as I can. He said if I want to go out I can take it off, but the more the better. I've been wearing it for about 4 hours and my lefty is has some tingling sensations going on... not quite sure what that means, but it's interesting! He also wants me to start wearing silicone strips on my scars, so I will be ordering those today or tomorrow -- the New Gel Plus brand. A 4 month supply will run me about $50, but he says he gets the best results with them.
Overall I'm not SUPER bummed... I know it's fixable and all, but it's just... eh. Nobody wants complications, ya know? He didn't say there was much else I could do to help it along, so at this point I'm just going to cross my fingers, wear this band, keep up with the 24/7 sports bra, and look at them as little as possible in order to keep my sanity. Lol.
I hope everyone else in recovery is doing well - thank you to all of you who have been so wonderful and supportive. =)
I always forget to add the picture!
I'm feeling very sad today... my boobs are just so ugly. I know it's a long transformation, and I know that I am still in the early stages, but I can't help but feel discouraged.
I'm still wearing the band as much as possible, and so far I have not seen a difference. Fingers crossed that I will wake up one day and see even the slightest difference.
If anyone has any advice on the best way to wear a strap like this, I would appreciate it!