Well, like a lot of you, I've battled my weight...
Well, like a lot of you, I've battled my weight most of my life. Now that I'm older, and so are my kids, I seem to have more time and energy to take care of myself. I've been at 50 lbs. weight loss, give or take, for over a year now and so I guess I feel like I can take care of the new body I'm about to spend so much money on. I'd like to be 5-8 pounds lighter, but am having a hard time finishing off the weight loss. I'm currently 5'1" and 153, I exercise 4-5 days a week including jogging and circuit training.
I'm really looking forward to getting rid of the "apron" thing I've got going on right now. I feel like I'm a size 6/8 masquerading as a size 10/12 and I'm ready to get out of this costume!! My boobs are okay, but I'm very close to the "rocks in socks" phenomenon and based on recommendations from friends and family, I'm getting the girls re-inflated and put back where they belong.
I'm very, very excited and very, very nervous and going to be busy the next couple of weeks gathering things together and getting my house in order before I take a 3 week break.
Thank Goodness for Calendars on Cell Phones
So, luckily I looked at my paperwork last week and put in reminders about when to stop taking certain medications. Got the reminder this morning for no more multi-vitamins and my daily dose of Aleve. I would have completely blown past the fact that my surgery is only two weeks away!!! Total denial.
Pining Away For Aleve
Oh, do I wish I wasn't less then two weeks out from surgery right now. Saw the chiropractor this morning, so would normally be just a touch achy. Then, I spent a few hours shopping, cleaning and cooking for a dinner party I had tonight. Laying in bed now with an ice pack for my aching knee and a heating pad on my aching back. Ugh. I miss my drugs. My knee is also preventing me from exercising as much as normal as well. Having a very hard time losing those 5 lbs. Trying to let it go and realize that 5 lbs. isn't going to make our break me.
So, I started getting a cough last Friday, the 15th. I let Dr. Pousti know on Monday and I steadily got worse. As of Wednesday it started to settle in my chest. I emailed Dr. Pousti again and after seeing my primary care physician we decided to have me stop working a couple days early. I've spent all day today in bed and plan on doing much of the same for the next few days. I am confident that I will be well over this thing by surgery time on Tuesday morning. I am a little bummed because I was planning on doing a lot of cleaning and errand running this weekend but we will survive, and being as ready as possible for the surgery is the most important thing. Other then that I still think I'm pretty much in denial about the whole thing which makes for a very relaxed patient! Lol.
All Dressed Up and Nowhere to Go
26 Nov 2013
Day of treatment
Met with Dr. Pousti last night to get my markings done. I was still pretty much in denial, even then. Luckily my mom was able to get here in time for my appointment and it was great having her there. She's been through this before herself and asked lots of great questions.
After we came home I did a few housekeeping things, showed my mom the things I'd bought for my recovery and where all the medications were.
My cough has been about the same, just there and more annoying then anything else. I took my final round of medicines last night then deliberately moved the water across the room so I wouldn't wake up in the middle of the night and take a swig without thinking about it. Really wish I could have some right now. :-(
It's now 3:20 am and I really wish I was asleep instead of writing to all of you. (Nothing personal, you know.) My stomach is so upset I want to throw up. I'm assuming it's nerves. Also, since I'm up so darn early I'm going to get hungry and thirsty soon and I was really hoping to avoid that. Irritating.
I think I'm finally coming to grips with what's coming and wondering if it's too late to back out! JK I think I'm just nervous about the pain and the changes that are coming. Why am I doing this to myself? Crazy lady.
Okay, going to try and get just a little shut eye before the alarm goes off at 4:30 am. Wish me luck!
Not Much Sleep
26 Nov 2013
Day of treatment
Got about 30 more minutes. I'll take it. Tried to upload these pics earlier, but no go. Let's see if this one works.
One day post op. Ended up having to get a nurse as surgery was a little more extensive then originally planned. Surgery was 7 hours. Pain was stunning yesterday so we upped the meds and that has helped. Getting the nurse was a great move and totally worth it. I'm doing my breathing and for paddling. Still have some cough which is pure hell at this point. Going to rest now and will try to post more later.
still hurts but getting better I think
So, last night was two days post op. Slept very well. Only woke up when my family got me up for my meds. I'm going to the bathroom every four hours and that's fine but still no BM which had me worried. I'm taking Colace and smooth move tea. Not sure when I should start getting really worried.
My mom and sister made me a delicious Thanksgiving dinner last night. We kept it simple and it was perfect! So happy.
I'm trying to step down to one Percocet at a time instead of two. Why? in not sure really, because the nurse suggested it I think. I'm almost out it Valium, not sure if doctor will prescribe more.
This morning my back hurts more then anything and it was itching quite a bit last night. Torture. Despiye everything I really am doing well and my mom and sister are very happy with my progress. I had some productive coughing yesterday which hurt like the Dickens, but I felt so much better when it was over.
Today, we may try to wash my hair! Wish me luck! I'm going to try and post pics from my phone, but that hasn't been going too well.
it's the little things
Getting the little things set up really help. Makes me feel more independent which is important.
Feeling Slightly More Coherent
Okay, Tuesday 7 am the was surgery. I was pretty mellow all that morning. Dr. Pousti any his crew were amazing, so friendly, knowledgeable and total pros, without being stuffy.
Next thing you know I'm waking up in hell, racked with pain. Sorry, no other way to say it. I think we finally left the surgery center around 6pm.
The surgery took longer then expected and although we had not originally scheduled a nurse, Dr. Pousti and my mother decided it would be best. Within 15 Dr. was on the phone and had Gloria ready to help us out. Came to find out Gloria was off this week but took us on at his personal request, the thank goodness, could not have made it that first night without her.
Wednesday brought new pain as the anesthesia wore off completely, but I was getting up and urinating every few hours from the beginning. So glad we brought the walker home as well.
Thursday was a good day, we kept on top of all my meds and my mom and sister made a lovely Thanksgiving dinner.
Friday was okay, kept on top of the meds, I got a sponge bath and a real tooth brushing. With that and deodorant I felt like a whole new woman! We decided to try and go with one Percocet Every four hours instead of two. Big mistake, by my third dose at 230am I was sobbing and begging for more. We've made some changes since then, but more on that in the next post.
Thank you ladies for checking in on me from time to time, it means a lot.
Had an emotional weekend. My sister left Friday and mom stayed one extra day, but had to leave Saturday morning. My boyfriend took his kids, and mine, to lunch and a movie which was sweet. That left me on my own for a couple of hours which was good and bad. I managed fine on my own but all of a sudden I had great anxiety about Xmas shopping which led to a huge crying jag. Lol. I didn't manage any shopping but took a fabulous nap instead. I'll call that an overall success.
I've had a couple more crying spells but they said this might happen so I'm just trying to roll with it.
Saturday morning Dr. Pousti stopped by for a quick check up. So nice! Saved me from riding in the car and I think he likes to check on people's home situations if possible. He did a quick exam of the bandages and sutures underneath and was quite happy. My drainage was good, color good and outlook on track. ( the crying jags came later). He asked me to step down from two Percocet to one (which was scary) but I could add in over the counter stuff So that helps. He mentioned that the surgery tough longer
Let's try again
Took longer because my right implant kept wanting to slide away. With extra sutures he was able to correct this. My chances of revisionary surgery aren't greater then average at this point. I ended up with 465 cc's in both but haven't really seen them, just from peeking inside from the top of my bandages. I think I see the doctor on Thursday so hopefully I'll have some good pics then.
Want to see more
I'm scared to open more bindings. Just the bra open here. I'm not sure if I'm allowed to open the tummy one or not. Also, all my family had to go back to their life so it's just my poor (amazing) babysitter with me now. I'm just dying to see more though but don't want to traumatize her with the stitches, or if we can't get it shut again. Frustrated.
The Good News
The good news is, I'm sitting up at my computer desk doing this. Won't last long, but a big improvement.
I went to Dr. Pousti's office yesterday to take a look at things. I had some terrible pain in my left nipple the night before, so we headed in a day ahead of schedule. Started by removing all of my TT bandages (the front ones) so I got to see my new flat tummy! Still a bit swollen and a little lumpy from the bandage markings, but no fat hanging no to my lap, yay!! They removed the pain pump lines which was no problem. They re-bandaged my TT, but a little less bulk which is nice.
The nipple issue is just the nerve endings doing their thing. I described it like it was trying to rip itself from my body and crawl away on it's own, but it's still here!
The Dr.'s staff did a great job, so sweet and gentle and professional and then Dr. Pousti came in to take a gander. All is looking well. I go back on Friday to hopefully get the breast drains removed.
I hope my breast size is a good one. I feel they look small, but I haven't expressed this to the Dr. yet. I'm kind of freaking out, but my mom and sisters say they are going to be D breasts. I hope I haven't made a huge mistake. I did not want huge fake ones, but definitely wanted big breasts and I don't think I have that right now. Terrified.
Just a few things that worked for me:
Gloria the nurse (Amazing) (619) 504-4237
Applesauce - Cold, with a plastic spoon.
My daughter's old bathroom footstool - Helps keep my tummy scrunched when sitting up
Small Tray - Used while sitting on the couch
Ensure - Vanilla. Trying chocolate next
Pillows - I'm currently using 7-9
Dr. Tom Pousti - He and his staff are AMAZING!
Caregivers - I recommend round the clock for at least 5-6 nights.
I'm sure there's more, but that's what I've got for now.
Sorry This Took So Long
Wow, been a while since I've updated. It's so hard to do from my phone and iPad but now I'm sitting comfortably at the computer.
My sister came down to spend the weekend with me on Friday. We went to the surgeon's and I was able to have the two breast drains removed. Makes such a big difference. Friday, in general, was a great day. I was 10 days out and ended up having a pretty busy day. After the doctor's visit my boyfriend came and grabbed my kids to go pick out a Christmas tree. I was able to help get the lights ready to go and unwrap all the decorations. I ended up moving around quite a bit that day, up and down, from the tree to the couch, etc. Probably a bit too much, but felt great to be up and about and useful. We had sushi for dinner and enjoyed watching the kids decorate the tree.
Saturday was amazing as well. Based on some comments read on other pages my sister helped me put a crate in the bathtub, a nice cushy towel on top, and I was able to shave and sponge bathe with nice hot water. Felt amazing! She then washed and dried my hair, so much easier to lean over the tub rather than leaning over the sink. Oh, and did I mention this all took place upstairs? First time I'd been up there since the surgery on the 26th. Needless to say, with the kids running the joint it was not up to my usual cleanliness standards. However, I was able to get it into shape in relatively short order.
After shaving, washing, drying my hair and applying makeup(!), my sister and I went to Target to grab up a few things I needed, picked up Thai food and headed home. A great day! I was able to move around the house freely and rest as needed. Just sitting at the computer right now feels like an accomplishment.
I'm still a bit anxious about the "projection" of my breasts but Dr. Pousti reassures me that once they drop and the swelling recedes I'll see the results. I am freaking out a little bit on my TT scar as well, it's really all I can see. My sister keeps raving about how great I look, how small my waist is, etc. I and I do see all that as well, but man, my eyes can't stay away from that scar!!!
I've had real clothes on the last couple of days and am amazed at the difference and how skinny I look!!! So very, very happy with that part of things. I see a huge difference and improvement and can't wait for the healing to continue.
That's all for today ladies, hope you are having a great weekend!
Two Weeks Already
Yup, two weeks out today, can't believe how far I've come. Had a long day running errands with my amazing babysitter/adopted grandma. Bumps in the road were a bit rough and I felt better once the late morning Percocet kicked in. Earned myself a nice nap later in the afternoon. I still feel burning hot pain in my lower back, I'm assuming from the lipo, but moving around in general is much easier. I'm looking forward to removing more of my bandages and wrappings so that I can get a better look at things. I am totally digging the skinny new me that I can see though! Just hoping these boobs turn out the way I hope. Oh, and I'm soooooo tired of sleeping in a semi reclining position on my back! I think I'm looking forward to sleeping on my side more than anything.
3 Weeks Today
Boy, time flies when you are recovering from major surgery. Can't believe it's been 3 weeks already and that I go back to work on Thursday. I had a very emotional, anxiety filled few moments last night. One of those, what the hell did I do? moments. Have you had those? Most of the time, I'm thrilled with my decision, I guess I'm just unsure about returning to work while I'm still hunched over (very few people know why I was gone), I still have two drains attached and sincerely hope they are gone before I go back. I also saw some pics of myself and am having a hard time focusing on the positive and only seeing the negative. Like, how now that I have a thin waist my thighs look enormous!!! I seriously feel like they look bigger then before the surgery and am freaking out about it a little bit. I didn't think I was eating that badly, but perhaps the lack of exercise is catching up with me. Oh, and I got a new haircut yesterday that I am ambivalent about. You know how that goes.
Dr. Pousti and his staff have been great, we are keeping a close eye on my drains and hope to have them out tomorrow. They were supposed to come out Friday, but were still producing too much. We were going to try again today (Tuesday) but as of yesterday they were still producing a lot. As I write this though, I'm sure we'll be getting one out tomorrow, the other one is still looking dicey.
My doctor and my family (most of whom have had plastic surgery) are very, very confident that my results are going to be amazing, I guess I'm just having a hard time looking beyond the scars, etc. to the end of this journey. I am going to strive to stay positive, look at all the good that has come of this and wait for my body to catch up with my expectations. I am usually such a positive and forward looking person, I'm not quite sure what's up with me now, but I know my usual nature will prevail and all will be well.
6 Weeks Out
Wow, didn't realize I had been gone for so long. I'm just lurking here, reading all of your great stories and keeping up with all your great progress! :)
As for me, I finally got my drains out about a week and a half ago. Oh Joy!!! I was able to get rid of the binder and am now getting by with Spanx and some other control panties. I saw the doctor last Thursday and was given the go ahead to wear sports bras now too!! Slowly, slowly, getting back to normal. I had to order new work pants since with the drains and binders gone my old ones are too big!! Being held together with a bunch of safety pins at the moment.
Even though it's a bit too early, I have become obsessed with window shopping on line for bras, panties, bathing suits and clothes in general. I look at things completely differently and can't wait to buy outfits I never would have worn before because I couldn't hide my belly!! The last few days, I've been wearing this t-shirt that I had, but never wore, as it clung perfectly to my pooch. Now, it's a bit too big. Love it!
Overall, things are looking great. My left breast is healing nicely and I'm amazed at how little the scars show. The right breast still has some scabs so we're waiting to remove some stitches on that side. Now, with regards to the TT. The areas that are healing look great! Hardly anything there but a small red line, and it's not event that red. However, I have had some issues with openings and it's so discouraging. I have a large opening, 3"x1/2" or so, on my right flank, I have another 2"x1/4" in the front left and just yesterday (or Saturday) another small one on my left flank. I cry every time one of them happens as I imagine it delaying my recovery and causing larger scars. Dr. Pousti said that we will look at them in a year and if I want to fix them, we can do that in the office. We'll see how it plays out.
Overall, I'm feeling good, feeling skinny and enjoying the new boobs. Just can't wait to get those suckers in a real bra and show them off!!!
Once again I want to shout out to my Dr. and his staff, they are the most amazing people and after reading other people's stories, I know not everybody has it as good as I do. They are so patient, sweet, knowledgeable and accommodating. I would be a mental mess without them and can't thank them enough.
Good News & Just a Little Bit of Bad News
28 Jan 2014
2 months post
First, the good news, my four openings in my TT are healing up great. Literally getting better by the day. I've just been told to leave off the bandages to the two in front and the ones in back I bet will be done in a couple of weeks, if that.
The other good news?? I get to ditch the sports bra!! I still can't wear anything with underwire, but at least I can go pick out something pretty and has regular straps instead of the T straps. How many of you can't wait to get rid of the T strap? I tried and tried to find a sports bra with regular straps, but to no avail.
Overall, I'm feeling great and looking pretty darn good too. I don't think my boobs look small anymore as they drop down a bit and I see more projection than I did in the beginning. I think the fact that I can stand up straight now helps as well. I was telling someone at work, "Now I know why women with fake boobs always wear such tight and low cut clothing. Because they paid a lot of damn money for those things and they want to show them off!!!" I am that woman now. I was able to buy a t shirt that actually touched my body and I'm so excited about that, it's a Medium! Can't believe it, I was a solid large before the surgery.
I was cleared a couple of weeks ago to exercise with no more then 10 lbs. on the upper body and body weight exercises for the lower body. I've been working out to videos in my room, but finally got to the gym this morning for the first time in about 3 months. Who would have thought I'd miss the gym? I just did treadmill with a little less incline and a little bit slower then before the surgery, but I'll be back up to speed by next week. Not so much with the weight lifting, but that will come in due time.
Okay, the bad news. I had a large scab under my right breast at the T junction from my anchor scar. It was doing great, getting noticeably smaller. However, over the weekend it started to separate from my skin and behind it is yet another open wound. When I took my bra off on Monday night there was a distinct odor and it wasn't pleasant, let me tell you. Called Dr. Pousti's office this morning and they saw me tonight. He said it was fine, a small set back. He removed the scab, cleaned the wound and dressed it. The bummer is, this will delay my healing there and put off underwire bras for at least a month longer. *sigh*
All in all, not too bad a problem, but I am just so tired of these openings delaying my healing. Now, don't get me wrong, I love my new body and wouldn't trade it for the world, just wish it would go faster. Big surprise, right?
I'm so so happy I had this surgery. So happy with the results and so happy that things are starting to get back to normal. I see the doctor in a week, I'll let you know how it goes.
Healing Fast Now!
So, as I mentioned last week I had a scab come off under my right breast and it left an opening. I must say, it's looking really good at my visit today. I'm super excited. I tried not to take too many skeevy pictures, but kind of wish I'd taken one last week so you could see how good it looks. I am going to upload some skeevy pics tonight, however. Just so excited about the progress I'm making and how fast it's going. Literally from one day to the next I see improvement.
I am getting back into the exercise groove. I have to be at the gym by 5 am in order to fit it in, so it's not easy, but overall I really enjoy it. I'm doing mostly cardio right now, light weights when I workout at home. Doctor also cleared me to use weights on my lower body exercises. However, I need to really focus on my food. Get back in the Weight Watchers groove of things. It's not easy, but when taking pictures I noticed my bra roll was a little more pronounced than it was after surgery. Gotta get on it!