18 years ago I finally got the courage to get my implants. I thought my world would change. I would be more "acceptable" as a women. I was tired of people making comments about my flat breasts. Family, friends, even my boss! When I asked my then fiance (we're divorced now!) if I could get the procedure done, his response was "I'm so glad you asked, I didn't know how to to tell you to get it done." At the time I was excited about that response. Now I know the correct response should have been, "I love you just the way you are." But I felt that nobody accepted me the way I was, and I felt that my small breasts defined me as who I was, and who I was, wasn't good enough. After the procedure I did feel great about myself. Then I had my son and my right implant moved.... way north! I looked like I had an elephant trunk on my chest. I had a PS move it back down, but it was right back up within days. A few years later I went to Dr. Pousti. He told me my capsule had been enlarged during my pregnancy and I need to put larger implants in place. It didn't fix it completely, but they looked much better! Now, however, I feel they are too large! Now people look at me and comment on how huge my chest is. They look much bigger in clothes, then when naked. I am now tired of hiding in my clothes once again. First, when they were too small, now that they are too big. I just want to be me, all natural, small and all! :)
I am schedule to have my implants removed on June 10.
I just pulled out my card that has my implant info on it. I have Mentor smooth saline over the muscle. I saw that my left implant is a 375 and and my right is a 425. I'm guessing the right one is larger due to the movement of the implant after I nursed my son. I'm now wondering what this is going to do to my symmetry after they're removed.
Question for you all who have children and have explanted
I'm explanting in 10 more days. I haven't told my kids, ages 10 and 13 who are going to ask why Mom is having surgery. They don't know I have implants either. Anybody know how I can explain it to them, without it getting to personal? My son (13) isn't very confidential and I don't want my personal stuff all over the neighborhood.
I had my explant this morning. I went into surgery at 7 and was home by 9:30. It went very smooth! I will post pictures in a few days when the bandages come off.
8 days out
I had my drains removed 4 days after explanation. Today I had my bandages removed. The tops of my breasts look scooped out and my right breast still gas that double bubble look. Hopefully with a lot of massage it will bounce back.
My doctor returned my implants to me. The 425 had to be deflated to get it out and the 375 is still filled. I weighed the 375 -- 1 pound!
The camera does add 10 pounds!
I can see a little difference in how I look in clothes, but I'm not as big as I look in the pictures.
I've been feeling really down. If both my breasts looked like my left one, I'd be happy. I can't find a bra that fits due to the right breast sitting up high and isn't as wide ad a normal breast. My left breast call fit in a B cup, but my right can't even fill out a AA due to the odd shape and they're the same size! I've been massaging them trying to break down the scare tissue. Some days I can see it drop and I get excited, then the next day it moves back up. I'm just sad and frustrated knowing thT I did this to myself. I was never told by any PS that this could happen to me and the internet didn't exists back then. It shocks me that there are women who have access to all these stories and photos and they are still getting them! I hate that we live in a boob obsessed society and we are made to feel less attractive if we don't gave big boobs.
I had an appointment with my PS yesterday. He explain that my right breast wasn't a double bubble, but my original breast taking back it's original shape. That's also why my left breast hS a crease in it. It too is trying to go back to its original shape. The insidious lines are where my original PS created a larger pocket to accommodate the implant. My doc thinks thT my left breast will change and look like my right one. He said if I'm not happy with the shape or symmetry he will do a revision, but I have to wait at least 6 months. Today when I woke up I noticed that the "bubble" under my right breast was almost gone. Weird how my doc said just yesterday, that's what would happen!
Not sure what to think
My PS said that my right breast wasn't a double bubble but trying to get its original shape back. I'm beginning to think he was just trying to appease me. I found a box of old clothes from before I had my BA done. The old bras and bathing suits all sit on the crease of my left breast. So the left is my normal breast line, not the right. So I guess its just a hurry up and wait thing now until I can get my next surgery done. As much as I didn't like my implants, I dislike the new me even more!
Yesterday's Ps visit was good. He said my cosmetic issues are possibly scar tissue, which is what I have been thinking all along. I have to go back in two months to see if my body corrects the problem.
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