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Wanting to Be "Real" -

ORIGINAL POST

Hello Everyone, First, Thanks to all of you who...

$7,000
Hello Everyone,

First, Thanks to all of you who have already shared your stories. I really didn't know who to talk to about what I am going through and finding this forum has been comforting.

I am 45 years old and have had surgery twice already. After Nursing my first child for 9 months... In 1990- huge implants 360 cc over the muscle by a Doctor named "POUSTI". I did not want them that big and was very sad when I woke up and realized that I looked like a Pam Anderson (wannabe). I actually cried. I was then comforted by all of my friends who had implants (most of them were as I was). They all assured me that I would be fine and happy about it. I never did come to terms with the size but financial and other reasons stopped me from having them made smaller right away.

After my second child I finally had them made smaller by Dr. Nigro (now deceased) in 1999. This time under the muscle. Yes they are smaller, but still to big. The Doctor told me if we went much smaller we would run into the possiblity of breast lift on top of the implants. All I could think of was the T scar and more cutting...I didn't want that.

I can honestly say I wish I never had the implants done in the first place. I was young and stupid-wanting to be what I thought was attractive. Having implants changed my life style. No more stomach sleeping. With under the muscle implants upper body exercise just doesn't work for me. I am weak. And the way your breast look when your chest muscles contract ...ewww, I hate that. And clothing? You think being flat is hard to find clothing? It is much harder finding dresses for a big top and a small bottom. The only thing you look great in is a bikini. Well - at my age now, not so much. ha ha!

Last month I spoke to my husband about wanting them out. I went and saw a PS and spoke about the procedure and he was telling me that I wouldn't like the way I look if I don't replace them with something. Already trying to talk me out of it. Damn it.

I had my anual mamo and they wanted to take a biopsy on a suspicious mass, That was last week. Yesterday, I got biopsy results from my left breast and what they thought could possibly be Cancer, Thankfully is not. However, what the material was is non-polarized material surrounded by Giant cells. ... Silicone
Yep, thats right. Seriously, I don't need these bags to feel good. If people don't like me with little to NO boobs, why do I care again??

I go Monday to see Dr. Apostolides to discuss complete removal. I was told by my breast Doc. Mary Wilde that is impossible to get it all out do to the consistency... I want as much of this foreign goo removed as posible.

I am wondering now...Is this why my hands hurt? My back, and other issues? The day can't come soon enough for these things to be out.

Replies (22)

You have found the place to talk about your feelings with acceptance and support. One thing to ask your PS is will he be doing capsulectomies en bloc. This is when the implants are removed with the capsules intact even if you have a rupture. It is very likely your health symptoms are connected to the implants. Most of the medical field will dispute this but there are studies and doctors who do believe it. I had my almost 30 year old silicone implants removed by one of the top explant PS in the country three weeks ago. Many of my health issues have improved or disappeared even though I have silicone in 12-14 lymph nodes on each side....way too many to remove without creating additional risks. There are PS out there who are experienced in explant without replacement who will not try to scare you into replacing your implants. Check out the many, many stories and pics here to see the results and hear honest reviews. We are all here to support you.
I completely agree with JWTBM--this site is an excellent resource for information and a great source of emotional support.
Thank you for this helpful info. I will definitey bring up "en bloc". I am sorry to hear about your lymph nodes. I fear I may have similar issues... I guess I am finding out these things - Wow! Maybe that is why my under arm hurts? My family Doctor told me to stop wearing deoderant. My lymph gland gets sore.
You have come to the right place. Many of us here have heard that same crap from our PS or office staff! "Oh, you'll look bad...you'll be unhappy, you'll be saggy..." Who cares!!! I'm glad I didn't let them talk me into a smaller implant! I explanted on April 4th and I couldn't be happier. I am 46 and they look just fine. I had the same issues, no stomach sleeping, upper body exercises felt weird or uncomfortable. Stick to your guns and do what YOU want to do!!!
The docter that took mine out said the same thing. I knew that if I was not happy with the outcome I could change my mind and put them back in. Geez...I would never consider doing that. I am free and can sleep anyway I want to. Plus I am happy with the new me. Took awhile to get there. Small ones are in now anyhow. I wish the best for you in what you choose to do! I just want to share that I am really happy to have those implants gone. Best thing I have ever done. Worst thing was to get implants!!! Hey I have alot of family in San Diego. : ))) Love & hugs to you, Ellen
Thank you for taking time to send me this comment. I am happy to hear that you are doing well. I am anxious. :)
Yay! Another happy explanter! I know it will be an adjustment but I can't possible see how in the long run I will wish that I had them. Who wants to have surgery to fix or repair every 10 to 15 years? I want this to be my last.
WOW...So true that we have all heard the same crap. I agree on stick to your guns...And yes do what you want to do !!! Good thing you got those out at 46 and did not wait till you had problems or got older. I was 56 and able to get threw it just fine..I did not wait till I got even older or get issues with them ...Now I am just so happy to be free and me again. Love & hugs, Ellen
Definatley bring that up. I didn't have pain in mine which were near my chest bone, under my collar bone and arm pits. My PS would have removed any that we're causing pain. I really don't think deodorant caused pain.
Hello there Soon to be little you! This forum is the best support you could hope for. The women on here are a marvelous support and we are all going through or have been where you are now. Damn these doctors who tell you you are going to look droopy or saggy. That is simply not true.YOu are going to be so relieved to get these things out..I go for my surgery on the 8th and this forum of wonderful women has been a huge help to me. Also when you see the before and after photos you will be happily surprized :) Huggzz xx
Thank you Dancelighter! How exciting the 8th is just a few days away! I am super happy for you. I will check in on you and see how you are doing! Little soon ;)
I meant to say the before and afters of the different women here!! xx