“Sharing my journey with the world - Kirkland, WA”

My biggest insecurity has always been my breasts. I had hoped that one day they would grow, but they never did. I learned to accept that fact and was okay with it for a while, but lately I haven't felt so confident in a bathing suit or even naked. My breasts disappear when I lay down and it seems like I can barely fit into a size A bra. I guess I've always been that small, but it has started to bother me a lot more lately than ever. I decided it's time for a change. I'm tired of wearing padded bras and feeling less like a woman. There have been many advances in breast augmentation, which have put aside my fears, for the most part. I'll admit that I'm terrified of any surgery. I've only had my wisdom teeth pulled, so I'm pretty nervous, but excited all at the same time. I have an amazing boyfriend who is going to take care of me afterward and I am very thankful for that!

Another user on here inspired me to want to share my journey. Thank you! You know who you are :-) I think it's very helpful to other women who are going through or planning on going through the same thing. I will post updates the best I can and if I'm brave enough, maybe even a video. I'll post some before pictures soon.

Updated on 6 Feb 2012:
Today (2/3/12) I had a consultation with a PS that my boyfriend recommended and happens to know personally! It went very well! I like him. He's a cool guy and I felt he really listened and cared about my wants. We talked about the different types of implants, textures and sizes. He recommended a gel implant for me with a moderate profile. Initially I had my mind set on saline because I read lots of horror stories online about silicone, but he assured me that the new implants are different and safer. After touching several different ones, I really liked the silicone gel implant. It had the nicest and most real feel to it. The shell was also much thicker than the saline one. He recommended I put the implant behind the muscle, which is what I had planned on anyway to keep things more natural looking. I then scheduled my surgery for March 1st and now the waiting game is on.

Updated on 6 Feb 2012:
Today is 2/4/12. I actually had a bit of anxiety today just thinking about getting breast augmentation, which I guess is a bit normal. It IS an invasive surgery after all and my first major surgical procedure. I just want everything to be okay in the end. I worry too much sometimes, I guess :-/ I did feel better after thinking about how miserable I've been with my flat chest and how much more confidence I will have afterward. I do have trust in my PS that he will take care of me and do what's in my best interest. I think the anxiety will lessen day by day and I'll be excited more than anything else. I do have one big concern and that is the tightness/pressure feeling in the chest afterward. I'm afraid I'll feel like I won't be able to breathe and it will give me anxiety - feeling all that tightness/pressure in my chest :-( Maybe I can get some Valium and that will help?

Updated on 6 Feb 2012:
Today is 2/5/12. So initially I wasn't sure about when and who I should tell about getting BA. My boyfriend was the only one that knew until today. I called my mom and told her and she was surprisingly very supportive. Thanks mom! She told me that she often wondered if I would ever decide to have this done. She told me a friend of hers had hers done recently and her complaint was not going big enough, which I have heard is a common complaint. I am keeping this in mind for when I see my PS next and finalize my decision. I'm definitely not going too big, as I am very petite and it would look out of proportion. I want others to look at me and think "those are some nice breasts", not "OMG those things are huge!" lol. I'm a 34 A right now and I would like to go up to a C cup - a small C. I think Kaley Cuoco has nice sized breasts - something like that would be nice :-)

Updated on 11 Feb 2012:
I forgot to mention, but I'm 29 years old, no children, 5'3, 110lbs, petite build. I know this information is helpful to others who may be considering breast augmentation. Updates soon to follow! I'm still about 3 weeks away!

Updated on 13 Feb 2012:
My surgery is two weeks from this Thursday!! I'm getting kind of nervous already and I started having second thoughts on doing this. All these thoughts were going through my head "I don't know if I want to do this now" "what if I have bad anxiety right before the operation"...what if, what if. I guess this is all normal. I have never been much of a risk taker. I always play on the safe side and I never, ever thought I would do this. I have to keep the end result pictured in my mind so I don't chicken out, haha. I also have to keep in mind that many other women have experienced and are experiencing the same feelings as I am.

Updated on 15 Feb 2012:
I have some advice for anyone that suffers from occasional anxiety and is having breast augmentation. The best thing you can do is avoid alcohol from the minute you schedule your surgery. I drink occasionally, but I haven't drank in the past couple of weeks and I feel great! I've always read that alcohol is bad for people with anxiety issues, but I never really wanted to take that advice (I love social drinking!) Do yourself a favor and save the alcohol for after your procedure. Hopefully this will lessen your anxiety a bit, as it did for me.

I'll post another update on Friday, after my pre-op appointment. Hope you all had a wonderful Valentine's Day!

Updated on 17 Feb 2012:
Today I had my pre-op appointment. I get nervous every time I go in my surgeon's office! I guess it's the anticipation - in two weeks I will be having my surgery!! My surgeon joked with me, asking "Do you want to do it today?" I looked at him with a puzzled look and then we both laughed. He's such an awesome character. He is very confident in his work, which put my mind at ease. I'm getting nervous about the surgery, but I do feel that I am in good hands. We talked a bit more about the size I would like to be and took some photos. I was given my prescription and papers to sign and then off to the lab to get some blood drawn. And now, more waiting. March 1st is coming right up!

I may have one more update before my surgery, but we'll see. I am currently in the process of moving, so I've been keeping myself very busy! Have a wonderful weekend everyone!

Updated on 28 Feb 2012:
I am two days away from surgery! This Thursday at 9:30am is when I am scheduled. I'm not really too nervous right now, but on the actual day I feel I might be. I'm keeping the end result pictured in my mind to help calm my nerves. I feel like I'm more nervous about the pressure feeling afterward than anything else. I've heard that it feels like an "elephant" or "bowling balls" sitting on your chest. Can anyone describe where that feeling is? Whenever I get pressure in my chest, it makes me think of anxiety and I'm really not too fond of that feeling.

I'll have an update for you on Thursday, maybe Friday, depending on how I'm feeling. Good luck to all of those who are having surgery soon! I'm right there with ya!

Updated on 28 Feb 2012:
Here is a good link to some good pre-surgery nerve calming tips. I really needed to read that right now.

Updated on 28 Feb 2012:
I guess HTML is not allowed? Okay, here is the link, but you have to copy and paste: http://www.realself.com/blog/surgery-anxiety-tips-calm-nerves

Updated on 1 Mar 2012:
Well, it's all over and done with and I am at home resting. No real pain, but definitely sore and have to be careful with quick movements and anything that involves using my arms. I'll update later with more details :-)

Updated on 2 Mar 2012:
So, now that I am not all groggy anymore, I wanted to let you all know how it went! I was surprisingly calm the night before surgery and it lasted until the day of too! I was very happy about this because I thought I would be too nervous or freak out. I was ready to do this! The whole process is actually not as scary as you think. The staff was very nice and helpful and did a good job at distracting me/making me feel comfortable. My PS drew a few lines on me with a sharpie that ticked, we chatted a bit, which helped to distract my mind and then off to the OR. I was welcomed by a warm and toasty bed with a leg massager. I barely felt the IV, then they held an oxygen mask over my face, was told to take a few deep breaths and that is the last thing I remember.

After I woke up, it felt like I had taken a nap, which I very much needed. I wasn't really in any pain, but I did feel the pressure and "elephant" on my chest. For anyone that suffers from anxiety, just know that this pressure/tightness is different. The nurse gave me a Lorazepam, which took those feelings away pretty quick. A little later I was wheel-chaired out and ready to go home!

I did feel a little nauseated on the way home, but I didn't vomit until later, after I ate. I vomited one more time later on and once this morning, but have felt great since. Don't be afraid to throw up - you will feel really good afterward. Eat some saltine crackers - they really help.

So I did give my PS an idea of what size I wanted to be via pictures and a picture on his own website. We both agreed on a range between 250-300cc. Often the size cannot be determined until the incision and pocket are made. I am very petite and I told him to fit the biggest he can with it still looking natural and proportionate. He chose Allergan 265 silicone implants with a mid-range profile. I think they look great so far! I can't wait for them to drop!

So far I have to say that this has been worth it and I cannot wait to see my breasts in a few months!

More pics and videos to come! I just took a Vicodin and need to sleep now. TTYS!

Updated on 3 Mar 2012:
Day three - today has been the best day so far. I'm hardly taking any pain meds and I'm up and moving around. I'm sitting at my computer desk right now typing this. I was able to take a shower (with my boyfriend's help). I made sure the water was a little on the cooler side so I didn't feel lightheaded or anything. I'm still feeling a lot of pressure/tightness as my body is adjusting to the new size. When it gets to be too much, I just take a Lorazepam and it releases a lot of that tightness. My breasts feel heavy and hard like rocks, but I know they will drop and relax over time. I have my follow-up appointment on Tuesday, so I'll probably have another update for you then. Overall, I am doing well and I am glad I braved it out. I know it's going to be well worth it!

Updated on 5 Mar 2012:
Day five - it just keeps getting better. I slept really well last night - took a Lorazepam before bed to help my muscles relax (and it helps me sleep better). Woke up this morning feeling great, no pain. The worst thing about this whole process has been the back pain. I'm not used to sleeping on my back and if the pillows are not in just the right position, it starts aching - so a few nights it was hard to sleep because of that.

I posted a picture of a contoured memory foam pillow that I bought - seriously the best purchase I have ever made. I could not have slept without it. It helped to keep my head in place and not once did I move out of position, which is surprising because I am very much a side sleeper. I highly recommend getting a pillow like that. I bought it for $15, which I thought was a bit pricey and I almost returned it, but now I am so glad I didn't.

Some random thoughts (most I've gotten from this website):
- buy bendable straws for your drinks
- button up pajamas are a must (buy 2 sets)
- facial cleansing pads are very useful
- eat saltine crackers after your surgery to help with nausea

Oh and another thing, don't let yourself get too hot. I turned up the heat just a little one night, but also ended up with an extra blanket on me - I woke up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom and was sweating, in pain and felt faint. It really scared me, so I sat down and waited a few minutes to cool down and then the faint feeling went away.

For those who are curious about prescription costs, I paid a total of $39.37. I did get generics. I was prescribed three medications, Cephalexin (Keflex), Lorazepam (Ativan) and Hydrocodone (Vicodin).

I think that's it for now. I will have more updates later :-)

Updated on 5 Mar 2012:
Some useful information:

I posted this on one of my pictures, but here are the stats on my implants:
Allergan Natrelle Style 15, 265cc midrange profile silicone gel, submuscular position, peri-areolar (nipple) incision. Again, I'm 29 years old, 5'3, 110lbs, petite build, 27 inch waist.

Updated on 7 Mar 2012:
So, I've been quite uncomfortable today. I can't really describe it as pain, but just uncomfortable. My chest feels tight and I can "feel" my implants. I thought I read somewhere that someone else had this feeling at one point too. I really don't want to take any more pain meds, although that might help? My bra does feel a bit tight - that could be the problem. I was given a 32 C bra and I probably should have had a 34. I really can't complain too much though since it was included. This is the bra I was given: http://marenagroup.com/garmentstore/product/tabid/199/p-133-seamless-molded-cup-bra.aspx. I have the black one. It's comfortable, but maybe just a bit too small, as it is leaving marks on my skin :-/


A couple of things to take note of after you have surgery:

-- Constipation is more than likely going to be an issue, so take something while you're on the pain meds to help keep you regular. I wish I would have done this. I didn't think I would get constipated.

-- Your belly might swell up a bit. I had a Buddha belly after surgery and it has just started to recently go down. I was not expecting this and I almost cried when I saw my stomach. It looked like I was pregnant it was so big!

Updated on 10 Mar 2012:
I decided to come back to work on Saturday, since I was scheduled to work anyway, and it hasn't been fun. I took a couple of Advil, which is helping, but it's not enough. I'm quite uncomfortable and again, my trapezius muscles are hurting :-(

Updated on 10 Mar 2012:
So it appears that my discomfort seems to come and go. Does anyone else experience this? When I first got to work, which is also when I am most busy, I was pretty uncomfortable and in pain. As the day went on, I started to feel better. Maybe it's because I am moving around? I haven't been active much for the past week since my surgery. My trapezius muscles still burn and hurt at times, but I don't feel the discomfort in my breasts that I was feeling earlier. Maybe the Advil helped? Whatever the case, I am glad to be feeling better. The good news is that each day gets better :-)

Updated on 11 Mar 2012:
Today has been a really good day. I've been feeling really good. Some minor aches here and there, but overall just been feeling great! I posted some more before and after photos. As I was taking some new photos today, my breasts appear (appear being the operative word here) to be a bit smaller than I had hoped...BUT..my boyfriend does not like big breasts and also, my stomach still needs to shed some fat/bloating, whatever it is - it's making my boobs look smaller. Honestly, I wanted a modest increase and that is what I got. My plastic surgeon did say that this size looked really good on me and the nurses agreed (they get to see everything before the swelling and whatnot via sizers during surgery). As long as I maintain the C cup I have right now, I'm okay with that - it is what I wanted. I can't wait to get back into the gym so I can lose this pouch I've got going on right now, lol. I am really happy - my breasts are starting to take shape and they look so much better than when I first saw them. It honestly was not love at first sight because of the swelling and bruising, but now they are looking great :-)

Updated on 12 Mar 2012:
I'm eager to start massaging my breasts, which the majority of surgeons seem to agree is beneficial and/or wouldn't hurt to do. (For those who don't know, the majority of surgeons on RealSelf agree that massage may help reduce the risk of capsular contracture and/or is performed to help maintain the size of the pocket created during surgery, which is called an implant displacement exercise). My PS hasn't had me doing massages yet, but yet I see that lots of other women on here have started doing it soon after their surgeries. My plastic surgeon has 20+ years of experience, so I'm going to trust his decision to not have me massage yet, but I am curious as to why some recommend massage early on and some recommend doing it later?

Here is a good discussion on this issue: http://www.realself.com/question/should-massage-breasts-after-breast-implant-surgery

Updated on 13 Mar 2012:
I found a really great link, explaining what to expect after surgery. I had most of these, so reading this made me feel so much better! I highly suggest those going into surgery soon read this. Here is the link: http://www.justbreastimplants.com/breast_augmentation_surgery/recovery.htm

I was quite worried yesterday. My chest got pretty tight and my breasts were starting to hurt. Maybe I'm getting the feeling of engorgement? I'm not sure when that feeling occurs or what it even feels like, but I know that it does happen, as I have read on here that other women get it too after BA. I took a couple of Advil and half a Valium yesterday and I felt much better afterward. I'm still feeling a bit of pressure today, but hopefully it goes away soon.

Updated on 15 Mar 2012:
Day 15 - It's been two weeks since my surgery and I just wanted to let you all know how things are going. Overall I feel great! I have only a tiny bit of bruising left. My trapezius muscles are not hurting anymore, which I am so glad because that was very uncomfortable. My scars are healing nicely (I had periareolar incisions). My nipples are very sensitive, to the point where it's kind of painful, but I am very thankful to have sensation back. My right nipple was numb for a little while. I still have some numbness on my areola, but I'm not too worried. I know the sensation will come back with time.

My breasts are very sore. I'm not sure if it's because I've been doing a lot (work and chores at home) or if because my period is coming soon. They feel a lot more firm too. Makenzie always did say that all these things add up to soreness, but I didn't really notice it too much until recently. Morning stiffness/tightness is still there, but that feeling is to be expected. I did not know that until I read it on a website. It goes away a lot after getting up and moving around.

I still have not driven yet. I'm pretty sure I can, but I haven't asked my surgeon if it's okay. It's amazing how quickly you get your strength back. I remember how weak/sore I was after surgery. I could barely pull my pants up after using the bathroom! I got most of my strength back after a week. I still ask for help with opening bottle caps and reaching up high, but other than that, I can do most things.

I can't wait to go bra shopping! I know that's probably not for a while, but I am still excited! I've been wearing these sports bras for too long! They are comfortable, but I want to get into something sexy ;-)

I want to make another video, but I'm not too good at making videos, haha. I know they're more entertaining to watch, rather than to read a bunch of text. I'll see what I can do :-)

Updated on 15 Mar 2012:
So after my surgery, I was put into this comfortable compression bra made by Marena. I was put into the wrong size, 32 C - I am a 34. At first it didn't bother me so much, but then my breasts started to hurt. I thought it was just post operative pain, but I finally figured out that my bra was too small at it was the cause of my discomfort/pain! To make matters worse, I accidentally put it into the dryer and it shrunk! I liked the bra so much that I purchased one (in the correct size, 34 C) on Marena's website. It finally arrived today and I am so very thankful that I bought it! It offers way more support and comfort than the sports bra I was wearing.

If you're interested in buying one, it was only $32 and free shipping (but it takes one week to arrive, so plan ahead). The website is marenagroup.com, but here is the link to the one I bought: http://marenagroup.com/garmentstore/product/tabid/199/p-133-seamless-molded-cup-bra.aspx

I am so very happy that I am able to wear this bra again! It is so comfortable and doesn't give you the uni-boob look that a sports bra does. I posted a couple of pictures of what it looks like on me. Highly recommended!!

Updated on 16 Mar 2012:
I know I've been updating a lot lately, but I have had a lot to say. Today has been really awesome! My breasts are still sore, but I'm doing things that I could barely do before - reaching up high and I drove today! Driving is a bit harder than I thought it would be, but I am able to do it - turning and using the e-brake are the most difficult to do. I still have a hard time opening medication bottles and anything with a similar cap. I feel so helpless! Overall though, doing really well!

I'm slowly falling in love with my breasts! I think I said this before, but it was not love at first sight, lol. They are looking really nice now - still have some dropping and softening to do, but they look good and I am very happy with the size. No one has even noticed and that was my intention. I feel my breasts are very proportionate to my body and I am very happy with my plastic surgeon and results :-D

Updated on 16 Mar 2012:
Oh, I forgot to add that I have my tummy back! It looks the way it did before surgery. I'm so glad! Now I just need to get back into the gym! I see my PS on Tuesday, so I am going to ask him when I can start hitting up the elliptical! My goal is to be toned by July, when I go to Vegas for my birthday :-D

Updated on 20 Mar 2012:
I saw my PS today for my (almost) 3 week checkup. He said everything looks good and that I can start wearing a regular bra now, even underwire. I was so excited to hear this! I immediately bought a comfy bra, which I may post a picture of later. It's not an underwire - I just don't feel like wearing one yet. My new bra makes my boobs look much nicer than the compression bra I was wearing before. I currently measure at a 34B (the size bra I bought anyway), but they look bigger. I guess a 34B and 32C are the same? I still have some dropping to do, so I'm not going to buy any more bras until later. I can't wait until a few months from now - my breasts will look awesome! And yes, I am happy with my size. I know the majority of women on here have gotten nothing less than 300cc, but I am honestly happy with my 265's :-)

Updated on 21 Mar 2012:
Well that was embarrassing. That new bra I was talking about yesterday ended up being too small. I wore it for about 6 hours and after I took it off I had the biggest indents in my breasts! What's weird is it didn't feel too small at all. I ended up returning it today and got a different style, same brand, but in a 34C. This one fits quite nicely. I posted a photo of it. It's Warner's brand and it cost me $20.97 on sale, with tax! It's wire-free, comfy and I think it's sweet and sexy ;-)

Updated on 25 Mar 2012:
I just found this awesome demonstration video on the durability of saline and silicone implants. Hopefully this will help some of you who haven't gotten implants yet to decide on whether you want to get saline or silicone. Remember that the decision is entirely up to you. It's your body and your decision. I'm just here to help others make an informed decision :-)

Here is the YouTube link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9vFyAEgqJSw

Updated on 29 Mar 2012:
I uploaded a new video today. I'm not good at making videos, but I wanted to make one that was a little more informative. I did this for all of you because I know how helpful videos can be :-)

Updated on 1 Apr 2012:
It's a bit overwhelming to keep up with all the stories on here! I am so very happy for all of you that have recently had BA and also for those whose are upcoming! I wish all of you the best :-)

This sure has been a life changing experience for me. I read somewhere that having BA improves your sex life and boy has it ever! I feel sexy and more confident now that I can fill out my sexy lingerie. It has never looked so good!

I know my review is pretty long, so thanks to all of you who took the time to read it :-)

Updated on 5 Apr 2012:
*ONE MONTH UPDATE*

So it's been one month (and a few days) since my surgery. I am feeling really, really good! I still have morning tightness/stiffness, but it's barely there anymore. I can sit up in bed very easily and without much effort. I don't have pain at all, just minor soreness here and there. My nipples are still crazy sensitive! They are painful sensitive, but it seems like they are getting less sensitive than before. I still have some areas of numbness, but I know that sensation will come back with time.

I haven't said this before, but I have been using Palmer's cocoa butter on my breasts/nipples ever since after my surgery. It has helped a lot with dryness and making my skin more comfortable. My left breast still has some dropping to do, but I know that will happen with time. I did experience a burning sensation in my nipple area. It wasn't painful and did come and go, but I read on another review that this sensation is related to the nerves being stretched, so I am not worried.

One thing that I am not doing is massaging my breasts. My surgeon did not instruct me to do this. He did tell me that I can massage my left breast downward, to help it drop, but he said I don't have to, only if I want to. I know that a lot of women are instructed to massage their breasts after BA, so I am not sure why I am not told to do the same. I wonder if it's a size thing? My implants are small, so I don't know...

Overall, this has been an interesting experience and a good one. I hope it continues this way. It's still kind of surreal to me. I'll admit that I am obsessed with looking at my breasts, lol. I look in the mirror and think, "Wow, I have boobs. This is so awesome!" I do wish that they were a tad bigger, but they look perfect when I am not wearing clothes, which in my opinion, is more important.

Updated on 10 Apr 2012:
So it's been a little over 5 weeks since my surgery and I am doing just wonderful! My left breast seems to be finally dropping. My breasts are soft and are healing beautifully! I've been sleeping without a bra and that has been very comfortable. It was a bit weird at first, but after a couple of nights it felt really good! I noticed now that I'm not sleeping in my sports bra anymore, I don't have morning tightness/stiffness. My nipples are still painfully sensitive and I still have numb areas on/near my areola, but sensation takes a while to come back, so I'm optimistic that it will.

I've been trying to keep up with all the reviews on here! There are so many and I really enjoy following all of you on your journey to a better you :-) It truly is a life changing experience!

Updated on 21 Apr 2012:
**(a little over) 7 WEEKS POST OP**

I just had an appointment yesterday with my surgeon and he said everything is looking good and I don't have to see him again until 2 months. I don't feel my implants much anymore. It was a strange feeling when I pushed my arm into the side of my boob and felt the implant near the middle of my chest - but I don't feel that as much anymore. They are now becoming a part of me :-) My breasts are soft and they will only get softer. I'll have to upload some more pics. I took one recently in the same shirt as before and my breast shape has changed (in a good way). It's really interesting to watch how the breasts take form. I've been trying to take pictures often so I can see my progress. I guess that's it for now. I'll upload some new pics soon :-)

Updated on 5 May 2012:
**TWO MONTHS POST-OP** (had surgery March 1st)

I haven't updated in a while, but I am doing very well! I did have on and off pain in the crease of my right breast for a couple of days. I did not have crease incisions, so I thought this was kind of odd. I almost was going to see my surgeon about it, but it went away. I did read online that the pain could be from my nerves stretching. Overall though, I am healing well and feeling great! My nipple sensation is getting better - they are not as painful to the touch anymore.

I am still so very happy that I did this and very thankful for this website and everyone on it. You all are awesome :-)

Updated on 21 May 2012:
Hello everyone! Everything is still okay with me - doing great! I've been very busy and haven't been on here much lately. I'm getting close to 3 months post-op - on June 1st!

I finally bought some bras from Victoria's Secret :-D I got a bra fitting and I am a 34C - very happy about that! I previously wore a 34A at VS. I only bought one push-up bra and the others are demi bras (no padding, just lined for no show-through). I am so glad I don't have to have padding in my bra anymore! Such a wonderful feeling! My boobs look awesome in my new bras too! It was difficult to decide on which bras to buy because they all made my breasts look great! I didn't have that problem before, lol.

A few thoughts I would like to share:

1) Your breasts will shrink down quite a bit after surgery.

It can take months, but they will be smaller than you had initially thought they would be. This happened to me and I wish they were bigger - I can now say that I have boob greed. My boyfriend thinks I'm crazy and thinks they're the perfect size. I don't want them a lot bigger, just a little :-)


2) Exercise can feel a bit weird/uncomfortable at first

I've been back in the gym for little while now and I can do most exercises fine - but using my arms to hold up my body weight is a bit uncomfortable, it kinda hurts actually, and I avoid doing those exercises because of this. I can lift free weights and do weight machines just fine - no issues there. I am sure in time I will be able to hold up my body weight - I'm just not used to it for now.

Still very happy that I did this! I'm not too bummed about being smaller than I had hoped. When I wear my VS push-up bra, my breasts look very nice :-)