Just sad....

So I've been obsessed with this site for 3weeks...

So I've been obsessed with this site for 3weeks now. Reading everyone's experiences has helped in so many ways and given me a few panic attacks! I am 22 years old, I love my boobs the shape and everything, I've just always been super self conscious about what I look like in a bikini and low cut tops and dresses.. My BA is scheduled for the 9th of December! I met with 2 different plastic surgeons, both said they cannot make me bigger than a C cup due to the rightness of my skin and stuff which doesn't bother me because I don't want to be too big and would like to be as natural as possible.. I am currently a 32A/B or 34AA depends on the brand of bra and so on. I am 170cm tall and weigh 57kgs but it fluctuates cause I've been gyming with a personal trainer trying to get the body to suit my new boobies! I am getting it done under the muscle and the incision will be under the breast on the crease (excuse my lack of knowledge on all the technical terms) it will be silicone implants. I had the worst time choosing between the two plastic surgeons. The first doctor said he would not go bigger than 250cc and that just seems soooo small. He is a young doctor with great looking offices and they gave me a bunch of brochures and documents that I could read.. felt certain I should choose him when I left his offices.. then went to the second doctor who is older more experienced also cheaper and he would be willing to go between 300cc to 350cc depending on how it looks once he's doing the opp. His offices aren't as fancy as the first doctor's and he's cheaper but the doc was great and made me feel so comfortable.. now I know all that sounds great but I had this nagging feeling I should go with the first doc.. after going back and forth its the size they offered that made me choose.. its about the size that I'm doing this so its quite obvious I should go with the second doc isn't it? Am I just being naive?? Oh well... I have exams in 3weeks and I cannot concentrate on anything but boobies, I'm counting down the days!!! Just thought I'd share my journey so far. Thanks to all you ladies on here for giving me great stories to read! Ive added a pic of what I look like in my sports bra. Geez thats flat!

Doctors???

How much info can I give to other girls about my choices in doctor's and so on? Are there any restrictions?? Don't want to get anyone in trouble.... by that I mean I don't want to get into trouble... while I'm posting I have some questions.. has anybody experienced an extreme fear of waking up in the middle of surgery?? I know its unlikely... but I've always been a little paranoid... And also I'm soo scared of stretch marks after the opp.. any suggestions?

Stretch marks....

Ok so I went a little over board today and bought a bunch of stuff I've read about to help prevent or reduce the appearance of stretch marks... I'm 37 days away from my surgery (yes I am that kind of girl even got an app on my phone counting down).. anyway and I want to start using something NOW to try and prevent getting stretch marks after my BA. I'm fair skinned and it runs in my family so trying everything to try and NOT get them... I've researched a lot on the topic and some doctors believe that if it's in your genes then nothing you do will help.. and also read that only 2% of BA patients get stretch marks.. if you have a doc that knows your limits and doesn't go too big on the cc's... so if any of you have any opinions or advice on the topic let me know! See the pic of everything I bought!!

Struggles on my journey..

I was just reading through some older reviews and read a comment that made me feel terribly offended.

I would like to start off saying I do not like confrontation so this is not in hopes of starting a fight. But I feel like I need to voice my opinion.

This comment spoke about young girls with perfectly fine looking breasts wasting their money trying to look a certain way in hopes of getting the approval of guys.

I have had my doubts about having an elective surgery and cutting into my scar free beautiful (but small) breasts. But I cannot stop dreaming about beautiful bigger breasts. I AM NOT DOING THIS FOR MY BOYFRIEND OR ANY OTHER GUY OUT THERE my boyfriend loves me just the way I am and I would never be with someone who likes me for something like having a bigger bust. I am doing this because my self confidence is suffering. I'm doing this for ME. For the way I see myself and the way I want to see myself.

Complications do not happen to everyone and there are so so many women who are for the better after their BA!

After my surgery I will look in the mirror and smile because I love what I'm seeing. Changing your appearance is YOUR choice no one elses, if you want to cut your hair short or grow it long, if you want to colour it red or blonde. If you want to get a tattoo or gym your ass off. Its because you wanted to change what you saw in the mirror. To make yourself feel better. Yes I understand that all of the above don't cost as much and aren't as dangerous and dramatic. But isn't changing your appearance all the same.

This is how I see it. Everyone is entitled to their opinion. And I am so terribly sorry to all the women who weren't happy with their surgery. This is my journey and my choice and im struggling with my decision from day to day but in the end I know what I want and I know what the dangers are. I am only 22 years old. But that doesn't make me stupid or self involved to want a surgery done that will change the way I see myself. I want to feel confident in my own skin..

please remember I do not want to start a fight. I am not judging anyone. I merely want people to stop judging me. Judging me because of my age and the fact that I want to change something about my body. This is no ones concern. I joined this site because I feel for the ladies that write about their flat chest. I smile when I see how happy they are afterwards. It warms my heart so see strangers being so supportive of each other and I wanted to be a part of that.

Thank you to the girls of realself and thanks to the people that created it. Its helping so so many women. Now I feel better that I've said what's in my heart.

IM CALLING ON EVERYONE PLEASE!!

Ok so I've just learned that the surgeon I want to choose imports his implants from a french company called Arion. The implants are called Gel Micro Textured and I want anyone and everyone who has heard of them or anyone else who has the same implants to please reply to me. I need info. I like my chosen surgeon and I trust him. But I need to make sure what I'm putting in my body. Thanks!

Done freaking out!

After my freak out session yesterday about the implants that aren't well known I emailed the other surgeon I saw and he uses 2 well known brands so I changed surgeons! What??? Yes... I decided to stick to a brand that I can research! He is more expensive but my gut told me to go with him from the start.. only reason I went with the other doc first is because of the sizes.. and I'm ok with being smaller rather then putting my future in unknown implants. I'm not suggesting anything is wrong with Arions implants but I'd prefer to go with the better known brands.... it's just my personal preference! Good news is they had the same date available as the other surgeon so none of my plans change in regards to time booked off at work and my boyfriend will still be able to help me out during recovery! Phew! What does that teach me? Listen to that little voice in your head it's almost always right.. now back to count down.. 33days left!!!

23days to go...

My exams are done! Now I can focus all my energy and thoughts on my upcomming surgery! Been looking for button shirts for straight after when arm movement is minimal but I can't find any.. well I can but they all see through for some reason which isn't going to help much.. and I have my list of things I want to get before the surgery! Eeeeeeeeeek wishing these last days fly by! Well will be updating as it closes in.. if anyone is reading lol (^^,)

its a girl thing?

As I read through all the other reviews I came across a lot of women that got cold feet close to the opp day and I sorta wondered "how is that possible? Shouldn't you just get more and more excited?" But alas I've joined the cold feet team..

I catch myself sort of dreading it? Maybe I'm just scared of the pain? I think a big part of it might be because my doctor won't go above 255cc. He explained that my skin is too tight and going larger might cause displacement and asymmetries... I trust his judgement completely. After all what do I know about plastic surgery?? I keep thinking would it get me to the size I desire or not.. I'll post more pics of my before boobies so you guys can help me judge.

To everyone that's done congrats! To everyone getting it soon good luck!

New level of obsession..

So I can literally not think about anything else!! I'm driving everyone around me crazy! And I don't feel ready at all! Got some things I still need to get but my days are so packed! Bleh... (not so) patiently waiting....

TEN days to go!!!

So its just ten little days before surgery. Its friday today and Monday I have to pay my balance...

kinda feels like I can still cancel but after its paid its too late... been having panic attacks lately thinking of waking up right after surgery in lotsa pain and the thought of the chest pressure is making me feel claustrophobic... I dont handle pain too well and knowing its coming is making me very nervous. But then I look in the mirror and imagine my boobies and then I wish the time away again.

Rollercoaster emotions is understating it..

So I've started to get my things together for post opp. Bought button shirts, neck pilllow, new slippers, the most comfy and stretchy pj's.. having trouble finding bra's though. Ive looked at sooooo many shops! Honestly cant find anything that closes in front but I will be bandaged up for a week until post opp and then I can get a bra at my ps's office so im not worried too much...

So still counting down not so patiently... dont know what else I need to buy for post opp??????

too busy...

Well it's Tuesday night.. next week this time ill be happily recovering...

For the past couple of days I've had all my "lasts" on my mind. Like= next time my mom sees me I'll have boobs (she stays far away only see her once a month if I'm lucky) and next time I wear this shirt I'll have boobies (then I wonder if it will still fit) and funniest of all I realised I loathe my current bra's.. every day this past week when I put a bra on in the morning I think to myself well this wont fit for sure so this is the last time I'll wear YOU then its the trashcan muhahaha ( yes I imagine it with the evil laugh and everything)

we've been trying to get our christmas shopping done this week and I have gym everyday after work and we are going on a little holiday to the coast 9days after my opp. And its my last week at work for the year so getting things done and dusted. We have tickets to a concert on friday. And sunday (the day before my opp) its my bf's year end function) Its just all over the place.. but im happy because its keeping my thoughts occupied on other things otherwise id be going nuts with the waiting!

Haven't received my time of the opp yet. They said I'll get it the week before surgery...well im waiting and waiting and waiting... will phone tomorrow...

ok I'm rambling night everyone. Ive got 6 sleeps left.

Shit just got real!!!!

So the very helpful nurse phoned me today.. she gave me my arrival time at the hospital and my surgery time. I will be arriving at 6:30am my surgery is at 7am. Surgery should be around 90min. Depending on how I recover from anesthesia the doc will come to see me in the afternoon and if he gives me the OK then I'll be heading home.

Nurse reminded me to wear button or zip up shirt because I won't be able to lift my arms above my head. And she told me she would be there for me the whole time for anything I will need.. (^^,) feel like I'm in safe and caring hands...

I have approx 4 sleepies left. Ever since the phone call I am freaking out. High heart rate, sweaty and get nauseous just thinking about it.. am I having a panic attack? Im on the verge of calling it off. My boobs are perfect they are just small. What if I mess the shape and stuff up by being greedy and wanting bigger boobs...

This is going to be a life long cause for concern. All the additional surgeries and scans...

I'm trying to remember why im doing this.. the only time my mind has been able to relax was at gym today. Freaking out like this is common right???? Heeeeeeeeeeelp!!!!

HOURS!

Ok so my surgery is no longer days away its little less than 24 hours.. my app on my phone has zero's by the says column...

I've been freaking out all of this week, yesterday I was calm and today its freaking out and excitement bunched in one! My boyfriend thinks im too prepared. He thinks im over exaggerating the recovery and that I probably wont need half the things I bought.. which strangely makes me feel good.. id much rather be too prepared than not prepared at all.

if it wasn't for this site and all the awesome stories I wouldn't have made it! I am now aware of so many things that I wouldnt even have though of.

My biggest fear is the feeling of pressure on my chest when I wake up. In my mind nothing about that sounds fun, it reminds me of how I feel in enclosed dark spaces, the feeling of not being able to take a full breath.. yeah it freaks me out emensely!

This is my last day with tiny boobies. I know I haven't posted naked pics of my boobies yet but I will just before surgery.

Today I'm on a mission to clean A LOT. So that will keep me busy all day I hope. And I might have overdone it at gym on friday cause yesterday and today my whole body has been in agony. Hope that subsides by tomorrow cause I don't need thd added pain... anyways wish me good luck people its getting closer by the minute!

All done

Hi everyone im home. Left home this morning at 5:30. Got there at 6:15, filled in paper work got admitted. Was walked to my room and given my dress robe thingy and that awful disposable underwear.

Then there was a long wait in the room while the butterflies in my stomach started freaking out all over the place. My nurse or coordinator lady came by and explained what will happen during the day and told me the aenethetist would be there soon.

He was there shortly and hes super awesome, he made jokes saying it won't be an episode of greys where he puts me under and chats up a nurse lol made me laugh and put my nerves at ease a bit. He assured me I will be his priority! He gave me a pill to swallow for nerves.

Shortly after that I saw the lovely docter Mark Steinmann and he was just awesome. He made sure of the sizes and marked me up.

After that the aenethetist came back and took my vitals I suppose you would call it and listened to my heart rate and asked me a thousand questions! Lol

Then they rolled me to the theatre (my memory is a bit foggy as to when I got the iv in my hand but I did) everyone in theatre was nice and talking to me, then they started to give me oxygen, I heard someone saying I would feel cold feeling run up my hand and arm and bam I cannot remember anything else.

I woke up in recovery by someone calling my name, I saw another patient in there, a man, for some reason that made me believe I was in ICU but I wasn't. I don't remember it but apparently I demanded nausea meds in recovery.

I woke up again in my room. I heard I had been brought to my room around 9am. I woke up a thousand times and fell back asleep throughout the day. My boyfriend was there everytime I woke up. By the way I cannot stand eanestesia. Its truly terrible while wearing off.

I felt better around 1pm they had brought my food some food earlier and I was strong enough to eat, so my boyfriend fed me cause my arms hurt to lift. I didn't eat it all because I got sooo tired from eating. Then when I had food in my tummy I asked for pain meds cause it started to have a dull pain.

I haven't been nauseous at all (appart from the drama queen request in recovery I don't remember). I don't have the tightness and heaviness I was expecting. Its slightly there but my fears were totally over exaggerated.

My doctor checked on me a couple of times so did nurses and the aenethetist (he told me my dramatics lol). Everyone was super nice. Tmi but I HATE a bed pan. Ive had to pee sooooo often which is good but it wasn't pleasant.

My doc sent me beautiful flowers. Around 3 pm my doc came in again and said I feel good enough im cleared to leave. Took about and hour because my nurse said I looked very pale so I had to eat salty crackers and drink some coke to feel better. Finally left at 4pm and got wheeled out in a wheelchair was totally unnecessary but nice. My boyfriend picked up my prescription meds before we left.

My nurse will phone tomorrow and she showed me my massages I have to start tomorrow. Im propped on the cough very comfortably. Will post pics.

forgot

Im not allowed to get my incisions wet for 8 days. Not allowed a heat pack but ice is fine. Probably not all I've forgotten but will try remember.

flowers

Day after surgery

So I didn't sleep very well. I just wasn't tired at all. Is that normal? Got about 6hours sleep after I took pain meds at one this morning.

So day after surgery has been difficult, luckily haven't had morning boob YET im dreading that. Pain isn't unbearable, I use a icepack, not allowed to use heating pad at all. Incisions hurt the most. Top half of my boob has feeling back but from my nipple downward its numb. The skin on the side of my boobs are VERY sore to the touch.

I had to start massages today, noticed my one incision bled a little but sent pics to my nurse and she assured me everything is normal.

its summer here in SA but it rained all of today, by the way shivering is a total bitch right now hurts like hell!!

Happy healing everyone.

Worse each day

Another rough night, woke up with nausea couldn't fall asleep again for a couple of hours. And the pain gets worse with each passing day.

Right now it doesn't feel worth it. I really need it to start getting better at some point. Oh and im bloated as hell. Nothings working.

Please keep me in your thoughts!

Too much for me

Im really not doing so well with this whole thing. I read so many stories and thought I could do this. The pain is getting too much for me. I cant stand being so dependant on my boyfriend for my every need.

The type of pain varries. The incisions are the main source of pain. They burn like fire and then they sting and then they itch. Ive had a couple of pains that almost seem to come from under the implant if that makes any sense?

The skin on the sides under my boobs is still so sore!! When I stand up or sit up for too long it feels like they get too heavy.

My right boob hurts sooo much more than my left. Same with that side incision. And im left handed so its not that I think.

Still no feeling from my nipples down. They feel too big!!!

Will update tomorrow!

Be Patient!!!!!!!!!

So its friday, I FINALLY feel like a human again.

I'm sorry I've been so negative. It has been so so hard on me. My boyfriend helped me with a long sponge bath last night I think that helped. And the fact that I finally got rid of some of the bloat this morning. And no its not too much info because its SUCH a big part of recovery. It has been for me hey. I had so much tummy ache due to the bloatedness..

On booby front its better today. A lot less pain, massages hurt like hell. From nipple down still numb getting worried about that. Incisions are itching like CRAZY!!! and the sheer weight of them is driving me crazy. I so badly want some support I cannot wait to get the go ahead to wear a supportive bra!!!! They still look the same to me but I'll update pics soon.

IM HUMAN AGAIN.... KINDA

Its saturday! I've been mostly pain free today as long as I don't skip my meds. Tried to skip my meds that I have to wake up for at like 2am. But then I woke up at 4am in a lot of pain so not skipping that again.

Ive been bathing in Epsom salt which I think has helped a lot. Got it from my friend, she stopped by and gave me a care package with lots of goodies. Shes so awesome lol anyway.

I tried getting out of the house for the first time today, we went to a mall to have lunch and shop a little, I didn't last very long before I started getting hot dizzy and nauseous but I think its just the heat in SA. But it felt great getting out!

I still have no feeling in the lower part of my boobies, basically from the nipples down to the incision. Will it ever come back??

Can't wait to see my doc on Tuesday to get an update on how I'm doing. My righty is still more painful then the left which I hardly even know about.

Happy healing everyone!!!

tried on a bathing suit top!!

been so busy

So a lot has happened lately. Yesterday was my post opp appointment with my ps. He took the plasters off and trimmed the stitches. He gave me a bra to wear 24/7. He also gave me tape I need to put over the incisions, this tape stays on for 5days and then I replace it again. I also got some cream I need to rub into the tape everyday which gets absorbed. This will help with the scarring and so on.

I had my first shower today and it was fantastic!! Last night was the first time I tried to lie on my sides and it wasn't too bad but the incisions start hurting after a while.

We drove 6 hours down to the coast for our holiday straight after the doc appointment. He gave me the ok to travel and said im not allowed to swim at all, no tight bikinis no sunlight on the incisions. I can lift my arms and do what I want as long as it doesn't hurt. If it hurts stop doing it.

I have to admit I am having some boob greed but I knew I was going to. And im so grateful my ps knows what hes doing because I know my body wouldn't have been able to go any bigger. The skin was tight and my first few days was horrible. So im just happy that I am the biggest version of me I can possibly be. Lol... I have to see my doc again in 3 weeks time.

The moment the plasters came off and I got the bra everything changed. I became more comfortable and they felt less heavy. I still don't have any feeling from the nipples down to the incisions but my doc said it could take as long as 4months for the nerves to reconnect and that the chance of it never coming back is very small.

Another thing, I got my period again and that pain has distracted me from my boobies. Being a girl is tough sometimes lol!!

If im absent for a while please be patient im on holiday!! Love every one of you supporting girls and hope you all will have a great festive season!!

Weird sensasions

Hi everyone its been a while. Been enjoying my holidays! Hope everyone had a great Christmas!

So everything feels fine with boobies no complaints. Sleeping on my sides just fine even slept on my stomach the other day it was awesome. Incisions are a bit sensitive. I get sharp pains every now and again im assuming it's the 'zingers' nerve connections everyone has experienced. Still have no feeling from nipple downward. But I do have this funny sensation during the day. Its so hard so explain it's almost like an itching tickling irritating feeling. I get it when I get cold too so I think its got to do with nipple sensations I can't be sure cause I can't feel my nipples!

Im getting annoyed with the bras I have to wear because you can't just wear any tops cause stick out everywhere. Appart from a tshirt you're very limited. But awesome news! I went bikini shopping the other day.. I took a top that I thought was going to be too big and then turns out it barely covers my girls! I've never smiled so big because something DIDNT fit me lol! It made my day.

They definitely seem small to me. But they bigger than they were before. I cannot wait to wear normal bras again!! Im dying to know what size I am.

On other news the tape that I need to keep on my incisions is starting to irritate the crap out of me!! I just wish I could go back to normal already! Seeing my doc again in 13 days hopefully he will say goodbye to the tape and these bras!! Holding thumbs!

I think thats all the update I have right now..

New year

Haven't updated in a while I have been super busy! No complaints from my side about pain or discomfort. I still do not have feeling back yet.

Im seeing the doc again the day after tomorrow. Im dying to wear normal bras and go back to the gym so im holding thumbs to get the ok to do those things!

The only prob im experiencing is that my one nipple seems to be lower than the other. This was not the case before my opp so it shouldn't be that way now. I got the same size implant on both sides please look at my pics to see what im talking about!

Otherwise im happy so far. Sometimes they feel small but im generally totally inlove with them!

wrong pic in previous post

Bra shopping = frustrated

So I went bra shopping. Most frustrating experience in all my life!

I have no clue what size I am. Each shop or brand differs. I bought some 32D's, 34C's AND 36C's... yeah....

but anyway, saw my ps yesterday for my 4 week check up he took pics and pushed the implants around to see how they move in the pocket. He says everything looks fine no signs of CC. I only have to go back in 6months. I still have to wear the tape on the incisions for 2 more months which sucks a lot. I can gym again in 2 weeks. No swimming yet. I pushed down on my incisions to see if I would also hear a popping sound like I've read so often on here and the one side popped was totally weird but cool lol.

I am super disappointed with the size from time to time. Hardly seems worth all the money and pain but then I look at how small I use to be. I am currently the size of a lot of before pics ive seen on here, but I know for sure my skin was way too tight to have handled anything bigger. My recovery was such a nightmare! Anyway please see pics and tell me what you guys think!!

photos didn't add??

photos not adding

Sad

Hi guys,

This will be my last update for a while. I'm seeing my docter again on the 6month mark. Will update again then.

Reason I'm no longer active on the site is because I get sad every time I come on here. Because of my situation (tight skin around chest and over all small chest area) I am the biggest the doctor could make me. And you'll see my profile has been updated to 'worth it'... and it absolutely is for me in my everyday life, then I come on here and realise how small difference I really have and how much bigger I actually still want my boobs to be and then I feel like that girl I was in the beginning. And I don't want that.

So for anyone whose been following my story know that it is worth it, I feel different, I am more confident and I love my boobs!

Message me if anyone has any questions and good luck with your journey if you're only starting out! Thank you for all the support I've had throughout this whole experience! This site made me aware of exactly what to expect and that helped a lot.

before and after

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