I am 23 years old, going on 24 in May which is the...
I am 23 years old, going on 24 in May which is the month of which I plan to get my surgery. I have always wanted this surgery and I can actually say that I've been using eyelid glue for 6-7 years. I thought is be ok with it but everyday it just adds on another extra thing for me to do and sometimes the line I create flips or is too small. I'm so tired of it. I don't want to keep putting eyelid glue and for a couple times I did use tape which didn't work quite well as glue did. All in all, I want to be free from that hassle and overall but happy with the way my eyes look.
I finally had a talk today with my dad, something I have been dreading to tell him. He was supportive but in a I-dont-think-you-need-it-but-whatever-makes-you-happy-and-I-have-no-choice. I feel relieved now bc now I know it's actually going to happen. And I so can not wait.
Moving surgery date
So it's been awhile since I've last updated and I have had to push my surgery date back as alot of issues have arised. I had such trouble deciding whether to do double eyelid surgery or my rhinoplasty first. I also found out that if I was to do my rhinoplasty, my procedure would be called alarplasty as I'm just narrowing my flared nostrils. I'm still having so much trouble deciding which I want first. I hate the flare of my nostrils to the point where sometimes I just don't even want to go out in public bc I feel so self conscious. But I also feel like I can't keep going on with life using eyelid glue every single day. I've been using it for about 6 years and its getting so old waking up and using eyelid glue to make double eyelids. I know I should get my double eyelid surgery first but for some reason I just want my nose done first. I feel like the nose is the center of your face and its what makes you. But but but. It's such a hard decision to make. I'm starting to think I should save up for both procedures and get them done at the same time. I really can't decide. But I'm leaning more on the double eyelid surgery as its something I need more. It will make every day getting up easier. Perhaps I'll like my nose better once I get my eyelid surgery done. Such hard decisions. I'm still debating.
Getting more depressed waiting
I think about getting my eyes and nose done every single waking moment of my life. It's just seriously that bad that I want to change the way my eyes and nose looks. I know that once I get my eyes and nose done I'm going to be so confident, more social, just everything that I want to do/be. I lock myself in my room when all my friends go out just bc I think I look ugly. I refuse to take pictures, I feel so insecure, I can't make any friends bc I'm afraid of how ugly my face is. I know it's harsh I say that about myself but it's the truth. And this is how I feel. Everyday I just ponder about how I'd look after my surgery. I know would be so much more happier. I don't want to be locked up and antisocial bc of my looks. I want to finally feel beautiful and just free.
It's finally happening!!!
Omg, I'm finally going to get my eyes done!! I am so sooooo excited and happy and just all sorts of happy emotions are all just cramming all together!!!!!
Out of all people, my mother was the one who supported me wanting double eyelid surgery. I told my dad first but he was hesitate and I finally talked about it with my mother yesterday and shockingly she was the one who agreed to it without hesitation!!! Omg, I love you mother. :O) my father is still probably against it but I've wanted this done forever and I'm going to do this regardless.
So since my aunt knows a plastic surgeon I am going to get a better price as oppose to going to the one I was going to go with which was dr. Athre. I'm going to be honest, I'm a bit skeptical and hesitate of going to the dr. my aunt knows bc 1) the language barrier 2) the location 3) he was a bit rude to me on the phone when I called him to set up a consulation with him. I am going tomorrow to see before and after pictures and while Im there I'm going to ask him about alarplasty as well. I want to narrow my nostrils so hopefully he'll give me a good price on that as well. That way I can do them both together at the same time. My mother decided to pitch in and pay a portion of my eyelid surgery. But I'm not sure if she'll agree with my alarplasty as well. She might think I'm going over board. All I want is reduced nostril flare. I hope my mother agrees to that too..
As I said though I am very skeptical about him doing my procedures. Since we have a huge language barrier (he's Vietnamese and I am too but I can't speak it I know horrible right :( ) Im afraid he wont know exactly what i want. I'm going to show him pictures of what I want and I pray that he won't mess up my eyelids. I was so hesitate that my mother was literally persuading me to go to him.
So tomorrow I'm having a consultation with him, show him what I want, ask about alarplasty and find out the cost for everything. If the consultation does not go right then I am going to dr. Athre.
So if I decided to go to this particular doctor then my surgery date will be saturday May the 10th. I am soooo excited that I'm finally getting my eyes done!!!!! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!! You can't imagine how happy and relieved I am!!!!!! i have wanted this for SO long and its finally happening!!!! Lets see if I can do my alarplasty along with it though.. Hmm I can only wish right now. But for now I am completely content with getting my eyes done period. :O)
Pic of current eyes and nose
These are pictures of my eyes and nose before my surgery. It's finally happening on Saturday!! And the BEST news I've EVER had is that my mom agreed to the alarplasty as well!!!! I am able to get them both done!!! I caNOT be any happier than this. I'm so glad my mom agreed and is helping and supporting me. I love her! I can't wait to see the final results.
Sometimes I wonder why people tell me that I'm pretty and all that stuff when really, I'm not. I'm just average looking and those feelings get to me. Having this surgery is not to alter me into a new person, it's accentuating the needs of what I want. I know I'll be more happier doing this.
I'm a bit nervous as the doctor that is doing my eyes and nose is a friend of my aunt. I barely got to know him but my parents both are telling me he's a sweet and very nice person. He has a lot of patients a day and everybody says he does good results. But I had a consultation with dr. Athre and I was so sure going to him. And then going to dr. Siegel for my nose. Now I have a doctor that'll do both for a good price. My partners have been really really persuading me now. I don't think I have a choice with my doctor now. I'm gradually trusting him and I hope everything turns out right. It's my eyes and nose, two very important body functions. Everybody keeps praising him so I'm trusting my parents words on him.
Can't wait for the surgery!!!!!
Surgery was a nightmare.
I finally had my surgery may 10th and boy can I say how big of a nightmare it all was. Everything hurt like a b$@%#. And to make it all worse, I looked in the mirror after I got home and it was nothing like I wanted. I knew that it was going to turn out all wrong. I had gotten double eyelid surgery and alarplasty done. My double eyelids were not big like I wanted it and I wanted my nostrils a little more narrow. Overall I am so disappointed with my results. I know everyone is saying to wait bc you don't know how everything will turn out but I know exactly how he did my eyes and it is nothing and I repeat NOTHING like I wanted it. I wanted an open cut whereas he did not do that. And my nostrils I mean, come on how can you get that wrong? I'm so disappointed and upset that I've been crying myself to sleep every night since the surgery. My mom keeps saying to wait it out and if it's not good we can always fix it. Thing is I don't want to go through this again. It was so painful that right after the surgery I kept crying bc of how painful it all was. I cried myself to sleep for two hours until I finally fell asleep. Which I then woke up and looked in the mirror and realized this doctor messed my face up. This has turned out completely wrong and Im so upset. I just never thought that I would ever have plastic surgery mind you having two? The worst nightmare ever. I already know once I heal I will have revision on both my eyes and nose. This is completely sad and upsetting. Mind you I am actually a strong person, I take pain very well. But this surgery took it to a whole other level. From him injecting anesthesia on my eyes and especially my nose, to him stiching me up, I felt like everything wore off too soon. I don't know how I'm going to get through revision surgery. This is my fault for not choosing the right doctor. I am just hoping that I do not cry another night in a row.