VERY LONG TEXT following ! =)
What can i say? It...
VERY LONG TEXT following ! =)
What can i say? It is so sad that we do not have such websites as Realself in germany ! It is so sad that we don't have such a good plattform where people are not afraid of showing theirselves and talking about beauty operations. I think it is still quite unusual to get beauty operations done here in germany, than it is in america or the uk. I am so addictet to this website and i am happy that you guys all share your experiences. So will i, i think it is just fair and i wish everyone of you that you can achive what you want :)
I do have problems with my breasts since i was 13 years old i guess. As so many of you i have years behind me with a very low self-esteem because my breasts where hanging quite a lot at a too young age. I don't have to tell you how i felt with taking the bra off in front of a boy or later man. Who would want hanging breasts? When i was about 12 i already had a C Cup and it became more and more .. then a D, later DD. I gave birth to two kids where i was at the age of 21 and since then my breasts even got bigger.
Everytime i had been pregnant i wasn't able to breastfeed my kids properly, because i had such a mastitis everytime. Hard and stone-like breasts, on both sides inflamed mammary glands. I was in such pain, had high fever and had to go in the hospital because it was so bad. They tried to get rid of the galactostasia, with curd and cold wraps around my breasts...and i felt like a cow, heavy, stonelike breasts, acking.. constantly dripping milk that was too much ( i guess ). It was horrible. When i was 18 i had the first meeting with a surgeon in my life, my mother had gone with me.. and i will never forget how humiliated i felt.. when the doctor looked at me with this derogatory expression on the face saying "well, that's just an aesthetic problem, and wouldn't been paid be the insurance".
I never forget this moment as it haunts me until today. I felt devastated and believed i would never be able to enjoy my body in the way others could. I always have been depressed about that topic..You know that, every day you look in the mirror you hate them. You simply do.
I always had back problems, could hardly find nice bras that woulnd't cost a load of money. Most of them looked like "grandmas version". I hated these bras with this wide straps. I hated never beeing able to wear something with fine straps on my shoulders.. or even shoulder free.. Well.. back to today: Now i am a 34DDD/F. It just got worse.. and i don't know why i started this again... but it might have to do with the fact, that my boyfriend made a proposal to me, and we will marry in Spring 2015..
You might be able to understand that i always.. always.. wanted a nice strapless gown as bride... and since we talk about planning everything.. i couldn't get it out of my head.. that i wanted to do this reduction for so long. I am addicted to this website and can't stop reading about all this stuff over and over again.
I even bought a top, that i am going to wear if everything is over :)
I have to say.. in germany you won't get these op's paid by insurances. Except you do have gigantomasty, or a minimum of 500 gr per each side to get out. My surgeon i really have a good feeling about, told me, that he wouldn't expect the insurance to pay. I am going to pay this out of my pocket. And even when it hurts a lot, but i am going to do it.
Now where i am 33, i will have a long time left where i can enjoy my breasts if i do get the op now.. my body is still young and in good shape.. I explained it to my BF.. I don't see any sense in waiting even longer than i already did.. there will NEVER be the time where i can say.. oh now i do have the money with a flip of my finger...it will always be something that is handled and seen like "unnecessary" for others. Why should i wait? 17 years are long enough... even if it cost a hell of money. No i don't think about the money anymore. I. am. going. to. do. it.
The first consultation with the PD was really good and i felt in the right hands. He has quite a reputation here in germany and he explained everything very well. He will hopefully be able to form a nice 34 B/C. My measures: 151 lbs and 5'7".
My pre op date is the 15th of january and the op date will be the 24th of january. I just hope it will all go well! I don't know how i will explain it to the coworkers....and i also don't know how to explain to my parents. Until now.. the few people i told weren't quite understanding that is really sad. But how could someone really explain how it feels inside...
please don't be to harsh with me if i write anything wrong ! I do the best i can =) i will keep you updated
Time to show the Before
I really have to say it is quite strange to see my breasts this way. I never fotographed them because i never liked them, obvioulsy. As i see them like this now, i really have to say i hate them. So great that i will be without this form in 16 weeks !!!!
Oh i forgot something to tell
What i really think might be quite important for those that are interested in a breast reduction is: You really have to discuss with the surgeon how he is placing your new nipples. I found out, that this is not a "clear" thing. I have seen so many breast reductions, where the surgeon obviously had no idea where to put them right. Sometimes you can see breasts with nipples that look like "car lights" or squinting eyes if you know what i mean. And also you can see, that the nipples are way to far at the outside of the breast. It is really important that the surgeon makes sure that they look natural. My PD explained that is why he always takes measure points to find out about the placement of the nipple. To see where the placement would be the best he draws a line from the sternum, and also from the middle of the collarbone right in the direction where your old nipple was. He then puts the nipple in the height of 21 cm sometimes 20 cm measured down from the collarbone ( might vary a bit depending on the body measurements ect )
if it is...
..just measured by the middle of the sternum, or even just straight up to the collarbone... it would be a false measurement.
Ok time to stop myself
My BF keeps telling me that i seem obsessed with breasts now. Yes. But shouldn't he understand that? :D
I am reading so many reviews and watch videos and everything. It seems difficult not to look, anyone else with the same obsession? Good night for today :)
Problem with pictures..
My BF is unhappy about the fact that i posted my pictures here. But after i explained him that you ladies help me so much with showing what you had and have, he now finally understands. This website wouldn't work if everyone thinks its better to receive than to give! So thankful for that to all of you!
Used Method -- "Hall Finlay" Method + internal bra
just added a bit more information about which method will be used on me.
I found this on the forum here and i think the Dr. explains the difference between very common techniques very good.
The difference between Lejour and Hall Findlay breast reduction:
Both procedures use the "lollipop" incision; around the areola and vertically down from the areola to the crease under the breast. In both procedures the incision in the inframammary crease is eliminated. The difference between the Lejour and the Hall Findlay involves the way the breast tissue is removed and what part of the breast supports the nipple. This is a very technical question to ask. From a patient standpoint, both procedures are short scar procedures and the recovery and scarring should be pretty much the same.
It is really important that you choose a surgeon who has a lot of experience with breast reduction surgery. Understand what Certified by the American Board of Plastic Surgery means. Ask the surgeon what procedure he or she would recommend and why. Ask about where the incisions and subsequent scars will be. Explain if you have preferences for breast shape and size. Don't get all caught up in the technical details between the specific operations. An excellent result can be achieved with many different procedures. Choose your surgeon wisely, communicate your goals to that surgeon, and ask questions. If you are comfortable with your surgeon, you can trust that he or she will do the procedure that in their experience will get you the outcome you want.
Elizabeth Lee, MD
So i am going to have the Hall Findlay and also my surgeon is going to build an "internal bra" which means that out of the natural tissue from below the breast, will be formed a kind of bra that is sutured to the breastmuscle. I hope i explained it right =) This will hopefully let the new little perky boobies stand up for a few years more !
That the Hall Findlay will be made with an inverted T. But i have to ask him on the preop, we will see.
The hall Findlay means, that the nipple with its nerves ect is staying in the middle. And that the breast is differently placed, so that there is more volume in the upper breast region. I read that there are many ways to leave the nipple on its nerves, and that it can be placed from above or below, but in this ways usually you don't have that volume in the upper breast. After seeing so many ladies here it think it would be cool to know which method was used on them. So.. Might be that i aska few of you :)
A few ugly before pics..
I have to put a foto up where i hate my breasts the most. That is with a big shirt on, no bra after getting out of bed. I put up the bra as soon as i am out of bed because i find myself disgusting this way. What i don't like about buying clothes always is, that in a wider shirt or pullover you never see that i don't have such a big stomach. It is always hidden behind this tent that my breasts are creating. And everytime the shirt is in front shorter than in the back. Stupid. I could never accept this logic.
Upright operation position....?
Just a quick update and a question :
My BF just can't see blood. I showed him pictures from here with 1day after surgery, because I wanted to prepare him. I also looked for a really bruised one. He wasn't able to look at this very long but when I showed him some really great before and after pictures he was looking at every picture very quietly. I think he fears it could be that the outcome is not as good as these results and he really loved my big boobs ( I never understood why though). His main concern is that they come out too small. But the concerns he has, I have too. So a bit of insecurity stays. I do trust my doctor who showed me a few pictures. My main concern are that the nipple placement will be correct but I think he really knows what he does. He is not just a certified plastic surgeon but also a professor and the chef of a hospital. He is a perfectionist and he already told me it could be that he needs 5-6 hours for the operation because he wants it perfect. What I found very interesting was that he said he is not one of those surgeons who has another doctor in the op and simultaneously operates both breast! ( please ladies, make sure your PS does everything himself ) I didn't even think something like that could be possible but obviously it is. He also told me that he does the operation in an upright position! I never heard about placement of the patient except the laying flat version. But he said, and that seems very reasonable, he couldn't see what he is doing if I lay flat and he would get the best results. I can't wait! :) Has anyone experience with an upright position during breast-reduction?
I told my parents.
.. that I am going to do get the BR done. I don't know why, but I was a bit anxious to tell them. My stepmother began to talk to me over her best friend who got breast cancer and had a biopsy, and also a Breast-reduction because they would have had a different size. That was quite strange as she was the one starting the topic by herself.
As I said I decided to get the BR, she didn't look very surprised. She knew I was unhappy with my breasts since I was twelve. I was always talking about that I want them smaller. During that time they also saw how difficult it was to find bras and how dann expensive they were. I think they had pity for me. There were two things in my young age that might have happened because of my big boobs that better were left out.. I always hated the focus on my breast. My stepmother is behind me, she is completely homoeopathic when it comes to medicine ( I am not, because I go to normal doctors and take also painkillers) and she will find out what's good for me except the arnica Montana I am going to take anyway. She wanted to know how much I have to pay ( strange that nobody fears to ask me, and I am not good in shutting up :( )
My father's reaction was a bit strange, because he did listen to me but had no facial expressions. One of his first questions was, what my BF says to this who was with us in the room and said nothing to help me.
Well the first question is if I am happy with them and comes my future hubby. But I am glad that he supports me and later when we were going for a walk the men were talking about the reduction while I talked to my stepmother.
I am very happy because my parents said they will take a few days off and come over when I have my surgery. So they do support me as well, yeay.
Today I was reminded why I really want this..
.. I had a conversation with an old coworker today... And while we were talking she couldn't stop staring at my breasts.
There's no way I will ever get used to that. I still don't like it.
I have severe back pain the last days.. In the upper and lower back. I do already have a disc prolapse and a few discs that are way to much in a constitution that would be normal for older ages. Sadly they do cause a lot of pressure on the spinal canal and all the nerves that are going through there. So sometimes I really can't walk if I do too much. What I hate the most is that I can't walk on heels because if I do, I have three days of pain afterwards. Not just not able to find clothing but also no sexy heals. I don't feel like a real woman.
My To-buy-list ( yes i was kinda bored ) :)
For myself and others who look for a to-buy-before-surgery-list. Out of working experience and reading many reviews :
-arnica montana, homoeopathic medicine (against bruising, for better healing, less swelling)
-bromelin, homoeopathic medicine ( for less swelling, against inflammation. IMPORTANT Can cause blood thinning!! So take after surgery not before!! )
-Surgical bras ( I think two or three of them ) most doctors recommend wearing them at least 4 weeks before changing into no-support-bras. Might be not so comfy, but worth the wait because they help to shape your breast and give you alot of support while you are in pain! Marena, Medical Z, there are many companies for good surgical bras. ( I will buy a Marena or Medical Z because I already get one from the hospital )
-a few soft sportbras ( for the night, and no wired bras for a few months )
-Gauze, loads. ( as a nurse I recommend changing them daily of course! And if there is alot blood or liquid I would change them twice or three times but I am really exactly )
-Small pads ( I heard these should be better then gauze because nonstick, and I'll wear them after there's no blood/ liquid coming off) Important! You shouldn't put on these pads instantly, because in a gauze you and your doctor can better see how much liquid you loose and if it's good or bad. A pad will soak everything in and you aren't able to check how much is soaked in and what... Blood, pus.. )
-a disinfection spray for woundcare ( I will use this everytime after a shower and let it dry before I put gauze/pads back on
-medical gloves, everyone changing your bandage should wear them.. also oneself!. Most infections can be prevented by that. At least, disinfect your hands with a spray that is extra for skin disinfection! ) The disinfection sprays for wounds are different ones and not enough for skin disinfection.
-Prune juice, milk of magnesia or anything as laxative
-ice packs can help against pain and swelling, itching BUT it does slow down the healing process enormously! Some Docs wouldn't recommend it at all because if you cool them down too much the blood flow is too slow and the tissue is not circulated enough. That_can_ (not must) cause necrosis where the tissue has no connection and has to rebuild the nerves and blood vessels!
-bio oil ( if the incisions are healed to soften the scars and against redness )
-silicone straps ( for flat scars, after the incisions have closed and healed ) have no good company for that yet
If I am missing something, please tell me
Creating a new aerola with areolatomes
I just found something to share with you ladies. Some of you might know, some not.
With the tools on the picture the surgeon creates perfectly round areolas. I can't tell why some have so differently shaped ones after the surgery. Make sure you tell him what you want!
"Of course, if your areolas are large and stretched out from the effects of ptosis, they can be made smaller. This involves using a device called an areolatome. It is more popularly referred to as a "cookie cutter." It is circular in design with a hole cutout in the middle to accommodate the nipple. The cookie cutter is either 38 millimeters or 42 millimeters in diameter. It is centered on the nipple and the outer edge is then outlined with a marker or it is pressed firmly into the breast tissue to leave an imprint. A scalpel is then used to cut along the line."
Homeopathic treatments and "howto" in germany ( for wifey =)
Take arnica montana one day before the op, at the day of the op, and after. You take 5 globuli ( that is the name for the little white pearls here in germany ) each of these days. Afterwards you can put 5 of the "globuli" in a glas of water and mix it with a plastic spoon. You can drink it in small sips troughout the day, one sip per hour or so. If you feel it helps, just keep doing so until you feel better. You shouldn't eat or drink something else right before or after you take the little pills.
In germany it is this exact red/white packaging by the "DHU" in the C30 potency. You can get it at any "Apotheke" ( pharmacy ) there.
Almost the same with the "Bromelain", same packaging as the arnica, same potency,
JUST DON'T TAKE IT BEFORE SURGERY. ( as written above can cause bloodthinning which would be absolutely contraindicated before surgery! ) After the surgery it is ok to take 5 "globuli", then move on to the water-globuli-mix until you feel better.
Very helpful with the scars is "Staphisagria". It helps closing wounds with as less scar as possible and is preventing kelloid scars / thick scars. You take it the same way as the arnica and is also available at potency C30 from the "DHU".
For the gauze: it is called "Kompressen" in germany, you get it at the "Apotheke" ( pharmacy )
"Octenisept" - Wound desinfection you can also buy at the "Apotheke" ( you can get a tiny spray bottle, or a bigger one with 500 ml without spray-head )
"Bode Sterillium" - Desinfection for hands only ( it burns like hell in your wound ! )
( available in different sizes, smaller or 500 ml bottle )
Milk of magnesia is something that isn't sold here, so if you want that
i would try to buy it directly in america. An alternative would be to take:
"Dulcolax" tablets or dragee
helps the same way.
If you like it more natural, prune juice is called "Pflaumensaft" here in germany. And helps usually very vell ;)
Hope it helps =)
Going to have liposuction too..!
Hey ladies, today I received a message vom my PS people email who confirmed that he will do a "little"liposuction for a nicer result. I am so nervous and excited! I know many women said the Liposuction is worse. than the BR... So I am a little anxious. But I am laying flat anyway.. No?
I already got the date for an EKG and bloodworm :) my PS thinks I am so young I shouldn't get a mammography if I have no one in the family with breast cancer..
Lol! Funny automatic writing!
My mobile has given me a hard time when I wrote the last message! So please remove "people" and insert via instead. I tried to find out what the hell a "bloodworm" should be, but it was meant to be "bloodwork"! LOL!
I am a little pissed
.. What I don't like about this website is that you can't edit your updates. I thought, well I am not getting why I am not allowed to edit so I will write them a mail. Then I found information on the website that says, that you can't edit, nor delete anything. I am really passed because of that. I loved this website because I thought we all can give and also take our personal information as we wish to. If it wouldn't be for you ladies, I wouldn't write anymore..
.. And btw it says that you agree to that with the terms of service. Maybe they should mark the passage red. It is the first plattform I know off who is trying not to make you aware of that.
To-buy-list update - "Nux vomica"
I just forgot one homoeopathic remedy to mention. Nux vomica is very helpful against nausea and also constipation! As I said usually I am not that "plant-eater" but I think if we are stuffed with all this hard medications during the anaesthesia we should try and not get more tough medication into us.
13 weeks to go....
oh man... it takes too long !!
I just bought a marena bra in Size M. I hope it will fit !! Thanks to all the ladies who are sharing their experiences here, you all make my days !
Don't tell anyone, just your best friends..
Really I could slap myself because I told people about the BR and afterwards I feel like I shouldn't have. Some might make comments that will leave you insecure about yourself and that shouldn't happen.
The silliest comment I got when I talked with a coworker I really like was "... It is just... I hope you don't feel offended... You will never have a model figure... So a B would definitely not be big enough.."
Is it the truth, yes, did I need to hear it? No. I knew that myself. Thanks. Am I emotional? Oh yes. I had ugly boobs my whole life, did I ever think they will look more beautiful one day? No! But they will!
Except from my mother, Noone reacted like I had hoped. Not even my "best friend", well I have no real best friend I think. Not the way I would describe a "best friend" relationship. But anyways.. talking about my BR with friends and friends-coworkers did leave me insecure and had not been of any help or support. It might be we ask too much.. They all never had to live with these boobs, nor did they experience what I had to.
Even if I know no one in person here... I feel like here is the only place I can talk about my feelings and I feel supported afterwards..
Love you little boobie-family
Waiting and thinking..
.. I do have some up and downs lately, because sometimes I think "am I crazy to spend so much money for this??" I really want to get this done but.... Sheesh this is so much money!
I thought, if I have the surgery behind me I am going to make a daily update until two weeks and then in longer intervals.
My disc prolapse is killing me today.. I have been to the doc a few days ago and he said he would recommend Injections directly into the prolapse under CT. Aaah. Fear! Has anyone experience with this?
Why am i going to do this..?^
I guess everyone of you who is about to get a breast reduction is asking oneself why are you doing this? Why am i doing this?
Last time i thought this through i was almost crying ( which is quite rarely happening to me ) i _need_ this reduction. It is not just because of wearing nicer clothes. And it is not because i want to be perfect.
In my childhood and teenage years i had noone supporting me, i had a very low selfesteem. At that time it wasn't just my big chest and that i was developed at 9 / 10 years. Of course there were boys who liked me, but it always felt like i was "the girl with the big titts". What was worse were these old men staring at my boobs whenever i was outside my home. And i was disgusted by men and how they were looking at me. I was disgusted by everyone who was staring at me. I wasn't able to feel good about this or feel beautiful. I felt like i was pinned to a wall and not able to hide from anyone. Sadly, there were two men in my life who just made everything worse and i am sure that also has also to do with no selflove, low ( or no ) selfesteem and insecureness.
I had a horrible, horrible childhood and It was that i felt like noone was there for me, noone knew how i felt inside. It felt like i was living in a nightmare noone could understand. It was about 4 or 5 years ago that i started a psychotherapy because of a breakdown i had and horrible panic attacks. I am really happy now and everything really went very well. I feel like i am kind of blessed since i was through this therapy because i now have a partner that really supports me in every way he can and i have nothing to complain about. ( except the boobs ;)
So back to what i wanted to say, to be "free" of these boobs, will not just lift the real weight of my shoulders, but i really hope, it will be lifechanging. I hope.. i can start to love my body, to see it in a new way and to forget about things that are not healthy to remember. I really hope that i will be able not to feel ashamed anymore and to have fun when we have sex and not think ( oh how ugly will my boobs look from down there? ) I mean who of us ist NOT thinking this way? I guess everyone of us?
I can't say how much i look forward to this change..
I know i might be silly to tell my inner thoughts on an open website, but..
i don't give a damn you know. You already have seen what i wouldn't show anyone, anyway !
Good luck to all you wonderful ladies and thank you all for sharing !!
Marena Surgical bra arrived!
Hah! I read tons of reviews and every woman was raving about this bra. It Is really comfortable. I just had to realize i am 80 cm under bust and not 75. ( I think i liked the tighter band) Solo I am lucky that the size M is OK for 74-79cm under busted women. But, if I could I would go one size bigger. Now I can't because I bought a second hand one. We will see. It feels quite comfortable, to have a good before and after, here are some pics :) I started selling my good bras on eBay already and it really feels good! Hah! So not long now, time is flying by.
... I have one thing of criticism about this bra! I had a hard time closing it!! The front close is nice, but I can't imagine how I will be able to push my hurting boobs into that!! Any ideas??
So to shock everyone
I had to make more honest pictures of me in the bra! Why? I realized I stuffed the boobs back under the armpits. So! Bam! It is insane how we can hide them, huh!?
Interesting article about the opening of the T-junction on brs
Another good link / information about different incision styles
Reassuring you choose the right surgeon..
... I feel like I really need to say this again to prevent somebody is unhappy after their surgery. I read the story of a woman here who has really different breasts after her surgery and who is obviously very, very upset about this. Please have the following in mind if you are looking out or going to visit a surgeon :
It is a common practice that a few surgeons are not doing the surgery on their own, but they will have another surgeon who does the other breast simultaneously. This is of course nothing they will make a big speech of or talk about if You are not asking.
Is the surgery cheaper than elsewhere?
How long does the surgery take? I often read it takes 2 to 2 1/2 hours.. And I am really baffled because I know I already said it but my surgeon told me he needs 5 to 6 hours - because he is doing it on his own -.
And he is a professor who not just gained a lot of reputation because of his wide range of knowledge in breast reconstruction after cancers and hundreds of Breast operations, but is also very skilled in neurological manners. So if a professor who is so qualified tells me he needs 5-6 hours, how can a normal doctor be ready in 2 hours? Maybe everything can work out fine with two surgeons, maybe you have a talented doc who is quick... But please ask before, if he does this really on his own!! Good luck to you!
My future hubby and his new boobs ;)
So hubby, you like the big boobs? I weighed mine on a regular kitchen scale on my table, sitting in front of it with a chair. I really don't want THAT to be taken pictures of! :D I guess I looked just stupid as hell. But anyways, I found out that my breast weighs around 700 gr on each side. I put the same weight of onions into plastic cups and taaadaaa there is the new hubby. I wanted him to carry my weight only for a bit :D and after 3 minutes he already felt a pulling in the back. There you go, that is how I feel all the time! :D
Nightmares and bad news
.. Hey ladies,
Last night i had a very scary dream about having asymmetrical boobs and too big areolas after the surgery.. It was horrible.. because so damn realistic :/
I had a date with my banker two days ago and i am going to get the loan for the surgery. Yeay! Well it is a load of money but i am sure it will be worth it!
Bad news is, i got the result of my gynecological cancer check ( cervical smear) and for the first time of my life it wasn't normal. I am diagnosed with PapIIId,well it doesn't mean i have cancer, but it doesn't mean everything is fine either.
I wouldn't be allowed to be pregnant with this.. ( not that i am planning this right now but the wish would still be there) now i have to go to the gynecologist every three months.. I am quite sad that the Dr. herself didn't explain this to me but her assistant.. So everything i know now, i just know because of Google. It is a shame.
If you have been told you need a Free nipple graft....
.... because i am reading so much and also trying to collect good information for all the ladies who are maybe reading this review...i found this information that was really helpful for all of you who have been told that they need a free graft.
In fact, to take the nipple off and place it higher without the pedicle, nerves, milk ducts and everything that is important, is a more and more out of date. IT CAN ALWAYS BE A RISK AT ANY BREASTBREDUCTION, but it doesn't mean you or your surgeon has to choose this harsh way instantly without double-checking other possibilities.
I have seen a few live breast-reductions of women who had humongous breasts and they weren't all done with a "FNG". I just inform you, to prevent that anyone of you accepts this too early from any surgeon if he tells you that..
Women with notch to nipple measurements below 40 centimeters and/or F2N measurements below 20cm should not need to have this procedure.
Less than six weeks from now on..
.... I am going crazy with waiting here! All that is going on my mind lately is " C to B, or C to D" i am still not sure what i will say to my ps on the preop... I tend to go bigger now... Because i fear like it will be shocking if it was too small afterwards, i am so scared that my hubby might not find me sexy anymore. I am a woman with a few curves.. Oh no. If the boobies are gone i am not!!
My ass, sorry ladies for beeing harsh, is so flat it is unbelievable and i feel like i have quite wide shoulders. No waist. Straight like a boy. I even my fat goes "man-ly" on my tummy! I now i am not really fat but... I don't like my silhouette at all... And looking in the mirror and seeing two bags and nice circles under my eyes let me feel like i aged extremely in the last year.
The mourning about my unhappiness really puts the future hubby on the test. I am complaining about my back pains and headaches and sometimes i ask myself why my body is too old to be 33. Hubby is fed up with my pains and complaints. I am fed up with my complaints! How am i going to feel if i get older? I guess if i don't stop talking about it soon, maybe hubby rethinks if he better not marries me..
And because i am so frustrated i am very much into shopping right now! :D i already have all the christmas gifts and birthday present for my sweet daughter. She has her birthday on the 21st which isn't the best day in the year to celebrate with school friends.. So we have to do the kids party one week later.
And for shopping : Today i bought a clarisonic mia 2 and i can't wait to get it! I hope it will help to get my skin back to beautiful and nice. Is someone of you using this too? I got a baby pink one but i would have preferred dark red crocodile optic or polka dots :D Well, but because of cost manners i chose baby pink ;)
I also found a new love : rosegold jewellery! It started with a tube scarf that had a copperish, very nice finish and then i went right into the fossil store to buy a new band for my watch in a matching color... Then i looked for necklaces, earrings....
I let you guess what i also bought :)
Then i thought i will give contact lenses a second try, because i hate wearing my glasses more and more. I never liked it, why i didn't wear glasses at all for a long time even if i do have problems with long distances. So the new me will hopefully be somewhat more beautiful than now :)
So. Back to topic.
I thought i change it into something more funny :D
Inspiring and hope-giving
A woman who had a BR wrote this, i just want to share it because i think she nailed down what many of us experience:
For me, the most fascinating product of the surgery is that it’s changed the way men react to me when I have my clothes on. Before, it was not uncommon for a man to stare blatantly at my large chest. When guys would approach me, in bars or at parties, most of them seemed to be operating on the assumption that I was a little bit of a slut. This was not, in fact, the case. I was a shy, fairly serious person who did not sleep with people lightly. And yet men I didn’t know regularly talked to me like I was eager to be their sexual plaything.
Then suddenly I had smaller breasts! When I’d walk around, men would still look at me, but they were no longer looking right at my breasts. I could feel them taking in the whole picture of me — my face, my body, my legs, and sometimes my breasts too. Almost overnight guys began treating me like a pretty girl instead of an easy girl. When they would talk to me, they would approach me like I was a normal person. They took me seriously. They would ask me questions about who I was, what I was interested in — a rare occurrence pre-surgery. I was shocked the first few times, but it kept happening. Friends of mine confirmed the difference so I knew I hadn’t imagined it, and I’ve since talked to other people who’ve had breast reductions and experienced the very same shift. Something to think about.
I wish you..
a wonderful Christmas time with lots of yummy food, a cozy home and a lot of time with your family and friends! *virtual hugs to all of you*
I was just posting this to a member here..
Oh dear, it sounds so familiar what you told about the couch ect.. ( how do we feel propped up between pillows on a small couch? Oh yeah, like a pillow with two pillows that must burst out of the couch)
I know i am not a fat woman but my boobs always make me feel like i was one! I like my legs, but i never wear skirts, because if i do, i keep pulling not just the skirt down but also my shirts and tops up to hide the spilling cleavage! What will people think if you stand up and you have to sort everything first? I h.a. t.e it. I guess you hid it well from your hubby/family and everyone else so how could he/they recognize how bad it is? We are so busy hiding it that we almost forget hiw worse it really is for us. That was something that came to mind when i knew, that after all these years, i could have the surgery. I felt kind of relieved, not to pretend i felt ok anymore. Yes i did that. But i didn't even know it.. Now in every situation where my boobs get on my nerved i think "not long anymore!" and nothing can stop me from having this surgery. I am happy that my future hubby accepts my wish and understands. I just have fear he won't be able to bear the view on the Franken boobies ;) and i thought I'd put it here to
Happy new year to my boobie-family !!!
"May the wind always be at your back and the sun upon your face and may the wings of destiny carry you aloft to dance with the stars."
Can't sleep... is this normal?
Âm i so nervous? I don't know. I can hardly find sleep and it takes me ages to get really tired. Has anyone of you had trouble sleeping? I am not really sure and this is a subconcious thing because i am not really worried as far as i can tell, but maybe .. ? I will go to bed earlier today, well that's what i say everyday! I wish i was so tired in the evening as i am in the morning !!
Whew! Only three weeks left! Next monday is my Preop-Bloodwork and EKG done..
I ordered a pillow today which will hopefull help me sleeping in my bed ( i have no recliner ) and afterwards i will tell you if it worked out. Just bought in on ebay for 30€ ( about 40,77$) including postage. Really curious how this will work ! Happy healing to all the ladies out there and good luck to those who are going in !!
To my american friends
... Stay safe and warm! Hell it looks like the whole continent is going under a frost vortex..
Internal bra video information
On the following links is explained how an internal bra is placed, it can be done with a scalpel out of your natural skin, it can be done with a laser ( then it is called laserbra which is irritating because not the only way to achieve this) and then there is a material that works like skin which can be used if there is not enough tissue to form it out of the natural skin. It is often used on patients with breast augmentation, but can also be used on breast reductions to prevent the breasts from sagging again soo quickly. It will last years longer than a normal breastlift would.
Video of reconstructive augmentation with internal bra made of alloderm ( not natural skin)
Loughing my butt off!
Be warned, there are a few funny ( and stupid funny) breastjokes following. I hope you can share the laughter! If not, i am sorry!
Q: What do toys and boobs have in common?
A: They were both originally made for kids, but dad ends up playing with them!
Q: What did saggy boob say to the other saggy boob?
A: "If we don't get some support here people are going to think were nuts."
Q: What kind of bees produce milk?
Q: What do you call identical boobs?
.. i just checked my measures again because i always thought i might be wrong with the size in US/ UK and so on. So i finally updated the real size and now correctly!
I have grown ;/ ( well i didn't measure myself for years an always bought 34. Maybe because my bras used to loose the tightness so quickly and got worn out so quick and thats why i chose a smaller band =?)
So i am 80 cm unterbust and 105 cm around that makes me a
UK 36 E
I won't mix up sizes anymore ! hah!
There was the money..and there went the money.
... Ladies. I tell you what. I just had 7500 € ( 10.203 $ ) transfered to my bankaccount because my kredit got approved.. I had it for 4 Minutes.. and now i transfered a big chunk of it to my PS. I feel a bit like crying. I will be paying back for this 6 years now. Oh yes i am bloody honest here. And not just because i a so fed up with these boobs and my past with them, but also because each and EVERYONE of you kept telling me how lifechanging it was. IT BETTER IS! If i die during this i will haunt you, all i promise ! ;) no, just joking. I know i want that so bad, but sure you all encourage me too that it is worth it.
But hell, i felt rich for 4 Minutes at least !!!!!
I am so exciiiiiteeeeed! Only 11 days left !!
.. It is coming nearer and nearer! Tomorrow i have to go to my regular doctor to get the bloodwork and ekg done in the very early morning before work. I know it is nothing big but i am excited as hell.
On wednesday i have the pre op appointment with my surgeon. Yayaya!
I printed out some goal pictures and i hope he will be able to get me there ;/ I am also thinking about a goal bra but somehow i feel ashamed if i do present that to the surgeon?? How did you show your MD what you want? With pictures on the phone? Prints? Magazines?
I am adding my goal pictures here.. so hoping it will be at least normal and not messed up ;I
The pillow i ordered was a big dissapointment. It was stinking like hell, like it had a sharp plastic smell. And it reminded me of some gel i used one time for my nails that had the same smell. Like you breath cancer in, it is sooo sharp and yukky and bah, i really thought it must come out of a radioactive reagion or something. I am going to return it. So i will build a pillow bed with what i have at home.
My appointment with my neurologic surgeon wasn't that good. It seems like i am in the stage of having a second disc prolapse, and the nerve ( ischias ) that is squiched together in a very small spinal canal, can't be freed without other problems and risks. The surgeon said he wouldn't want to do the surgery unless i told him i couldn't live with the pain, because i/ he would risk a complete instability of my spine. I do have a prolapse and a lysis in the same area of the spine and so it is quite a risk. To explain here what a lysis is would go beyong the scope. As long it just hurts in the back and not as much in the leg he would wait. So, i did have very painful episodes but i am still not having this in-the-leg-pain everday and soo badly that i want to risk it yet. I have good days and bad days and as long i don't have to stay home because it is so worse i guess it will be ok? I don't know.. i will talk to another surgeon to get a second opinion. The one i found was really honest in everything and he also told me that injections under MRT wouldn't solve my problem there.
Soo back with my mind to my hopefully new identitties !! :DDD I will report from the preop app. on wednesday ! Until the next ! :) Love you Ladies !
Update after pre-op appointment
Well... it was ok! I was really nervous when we drove to the private clinic of my surgeon yesterday evening. I felt a bit weird waiting in the institution because it looked kind of glamorous and the building itself stands on a property which is placed on one of the best areas in Berlin city. It felt like i was like Cinderella before transformation, ready to get her robe and new shoes, waiting for the prince to arrive. Well.. to be honest, the prince already sat right next to me ( my hub was waiting with me ) but you know i felt kind of excited, afraid and all that in one moment.
As i got into the surgeons room it was a bit strange at first, because when he began talking i recognized that he couldn't remember what we had already agreed. Of course i take in count that he has lots and lots of patients, but it felt kind of strange that i had to remind him of the things he "promised". It was quite late in the evening and maybe he was tired and ready to go home and after my consultation he also had another appointment. I guess he was a bit stressed. But he also made some jokes like " Oh you are the one who wanted to go from C to DD with implants right?" and i was undressing the boobs so he could have another look at what he was going to do. I reassured that he wanted to do the internal bra on me, which he said will be painful for a while but gives the best results in lift. I also asked him again about liposuction to the sides and he said it might be good to do it.. ( Like i said it was weird to remind him of that ) my hubby got kind of
pale because he didn't know that i made sure that the lipo was inside the price we discussed. :D
Then the surgeon made another strange joke as he said " well if i am done with her, she will have stand up boobs." I was a little mixed up about this comment, my hubby sat there and bit his tongue and i could see he wasn't amused. I almost found this a bit assaulting to the hub. .. Anyways he seemed strange yesterday as i said. I still feel good about him doing the surgery on me. I made sure he understood where my goal was, that i am kind of a perfectionist and won't be happy with totally messed up boobs ( for that i could have the surgery cheaper ) I made sure he understood that i was very well informed about everything so he knows i am no easy deal if he messed me up or something like that. I found out that i should think about getting an insurance for unforeseen emergencys which are not covered by the surgeons liability insurance. I costs me about 136 $ so i think this is worth it. An emergency surgery could easily cost about 40.000 §.
He told me that he had only two times where some complications occured and that was not during a breast reduction. He said a Cup B would be a bit small for me ( which i didn't want anyway ) i said a good C was all that i want. Then he explained that my wish of a "teardrop" shape conflicts with the projection i would like to have also. That made sense after he explained it, so he is going for projection now. When i showed him my goal picture in the last update he doubted that it was a reduction but i had another picture with me, where he said was an excellent result and that was what i asked for.. so we will see huh? We discussed Lollipop vs. Anchor-scar again, and he said the same as he did before, if i go off that table he wants me to have a good results and not wait for them a few months and risk to need a scar revision. Hm. I have seen very good lollipop-Ladies here so i am not sure about it, but he said he will have the best result. The scar won't be short as i hopes though. We will see i guess. It can just get better.
Everything has its pros and cons.
Today i did lots of writing.. i made sure that, i am going to die during this, that my kids are at a safe place with my future hubby. And if i am a wreck afterwards, that my hub has all rights to manage everything for me. I wanted to do that for ages, but i thought it might be the right time now. It felt not good, but i know that if i wouldn't have it done now, i might have gotten frightened to have the aneasthesia. So to do something nice for myself and to lift me up from the blanc horror that one can get while reading all the patient information / risks about all kinds of negative effects ect.. i went online-shopping :)
I am not allowed to take any aspirin, my hypothyroidism doesn't have any effect so i am allowed to take my daily med, and i am also allowed to take my vitamins (!) He said that the amount that is in the normal tablet you can get is so low that it doesn't have any negative effects. I was a bit surprised that he didn't ask how much was exactly in there. But i researched it before and i know that a vitamin intake under 200 mg Vit E does no harm.
I already washed my track suit and got the medicine i need and now i can just wait for the days to pass..
I am reeeeaaaaallly getting nervous over here..
i meant i made sure that IF i am goin to die. I don't plan it yet :D
I am so thankful...
.. to be part of this website! I did read my own review in full length this morning and i can just say, wow, it has been abd is an emotional rollercoaster! I am so thankful for everyone that leaves comments here and also for all the updates you do on your own reviews! Every nice and caring comment feels like i am hugged. I am sad that i am so far away from you all. If i could and would live in your region i'd like to organize a little party and get to know you all in person! Thank you for already beeing a part of my life! It might sound strange but i am on this website since 4 months now, daily and it really feels like a family where one can come back to tell their feelings, vent.. and also get a virtual hug if needed.
Insurances part II
Oh i would be thankful for it if my insurance payed here too, i only pay because our system here sucks in manners of breast reductions. They are most of the time not approved even if there are regulations and most of the woman here have to wait for a year, because the insurances take every time they need. Then they want you to have an attest from a neurologic doctor, an orthopedist who has to document your back problems ( but strangely there is no regulation to when a back problem is or is not severe enough to have surgery without cost) maybe psychotherapist ( but sometimes they tell you that you are completely bananas and need something else than a reduction) and then you have to prove that your breastfold is a place full of rashes and yucky and red! ( i wear bras the whole day and i shower everyday and did never have that) i have almost cuts in my skin when i take the bra off, and thats another thing one has to have here. The nipple must be lower than 21 cm and after all you have to go to the medical officer of your insurance and have it observed like i wrote.. Like you were a foreign alien and your titts crazy ideas someone else had. As described above...
Soo i would love to not pay for the surgery but i heard all kinds of humiliating stuff that the medical officers tell you. I am sure they do a good job so that people like me don't even want to go there! I really hope that there, someday, will be a better regulation of this..
Oh and one more in the i-get-angry-easily part
I am nor sure if it is due to my ovulation going on because i am always aggressive
around that time, or if it is the surgery and that i don't like myself unconcious and at the mercy of someone else. But i am really easily getting aggressive these days! The hubby also experienced it. Well he will survive i guess, but he is getting nervous as well.
About the Insurance i made for complications during the surgery, i got angry too. Why? Because you have to pay if complications occur and the first surgery was a not - necessary one. And why that??? Because someone whois going rafting, bungee-jumping, to stupidto foresee it, can do anyth and go in the hospital without cost! ( here in germany!) 70%-80% of all accidents are self-inflicted! Did you know that? So why do i have to pay extra and everyone else can get away with their crazy sports? And break every bone? Something to think about.
Omg omg i don't know how to get
... to work without having to go in the hospital afterwards!! The whole streets and ways are icecovered and slippery as hell and i never experienced this in my whole life that there is - no way- to walk safely!! And i have to go to work!! I am hating it to have to put myself in such danger... I couldn't even walk or stand safely in slowmode because we have cobbles all over the place here! You cannot cross any streets :/ i wish i could stay home.
Only 4 times to sleep...
I don't know if that's a common thing to say in other countries, but here it is ;) I am not very nervous about the BR today. I am just worried that my kids will have a safe way home from school because we had a state of emergency in berlun due to iced streets and ways. I just bought 4 pairs of spikes to be prepaired if hell breaks loose the next days.
So... Surgery wise.. I think about it every minute that i am not distracted by something else, but in a good way. I can't wait and all the time i an thinking, well this is the time you do this or that before surgery.. I am really relaxed today about it. Thank you for all your good wishes! I will post ever day ;)
Berlin not berlun.
I really wished they made editing possible here.
Telling kids you are going to have surgery..
.. I just wrote about that topic with another lovely mom here and i thought, i'd share my thoughts here too. I wonder why i didn't do it already. So here is what I think :
I had to raise my kids without any help ( only two years of that my parents helped until i came home from work) and i know how stressful it was to be ill and still have to get up for two little children. It was the worst i can remember! Beeing alone and nobody sees your need even if it is obvious! Anyway my kids are 11 and 12 now and they are very independent and i did a good job! ;) i did tell my kids that i am going to have a Breast-reduction. I was afraid first, and i felt ashamed, but not because of the body part. It felt like i would show them that i don't love myself which i am constantly teaching them is so important! So.. It was really not a pleasant feeling but i like to be honest with them and i know they will see me afterwards because i wanted my daughter to help me with hair washing and drying. I am going to involve them in the process that mom needs help from them, which i am sure i need.. and in the end, if something happens they don't remember the last thing you did in life was lying to them. I don't want you too feel bad, if you didn't tell your kids, but maybe you should see it from another point of view? I thought my kids would be really worried about me having surgery but they are so very cool. I guess if the day comes my kids will worry but i am happy that they aren't bothering too much. Maybe they are not showing it but it doesn't feel like it atm. They are still very happy throughout the days.
I believe it helps them grow to let them know that i involve them rather than it does worry them. But we talk about alooooot going on.. Every weekend when full- time-mommy is having breakfast with the kids and the hubby, we often discuss news we heard and our point of views. It always is my favourite time of the week. I can remember that my boy was very early in asking "heavy" questions. One day when he was at the age of 6 it happened, that he listened to the radio and heard that because of the holocaust so many people died and that was something he wanted to understand and asked me. I was torn between honesty and "thats not something a child should worry about" but through all these years i always tent to tell them the truth and answer all of their questions, trying to not leave them worried of course but taken seriously. So whenever they had further questions i was there. I believe that this takes a big part of the fact, that my kids are so aware of things, people around them and they are not just focusing on themselves but see in what world they live in. I believe that helps them to maneuver through life in a more conscious way. And what i get for feedback, i am really proud how they developed already ;)
My son was really funny, he asked, "but mom, are you going to get implants?" i said "noo are you kidding? Aren't they big enough? I want them smaller!" then he said "ok, than i understand your decision" haha. So grown up.
They are the best that ever happened to me for sure!
To stay in the topic, yesterday evening my daughter put a little note on my pillow ( as she does now and then which is so cute! )
It says " Thank you mommy,
that you take care for us with so much love, without you it would constantly rain, but when you are there, the sun always comes back, breaking through the clouds. Then you can see a rainbow, and i don't want you to go" Sarah
I love them so much.. No words can tell!
I wish you all a wonderful day!
I am not..
...a bit excited anymore. ( For everyone going in, i am..) i don't know why. I mean i can't wait to get it done but i am not nervous anymore. Started yesterday somehow. I recognised myself thinking more about, "if i am going to die, did i talk to everyone? Strangely i don't even fear to die but i fear how others would take it and i fear i didn't speak about problems with my brother. But he doesn't seem to care about my life, my family or that i am going into surgery. That bothers me very much. Because I thought we might have difficulties going on with talking to eachother, but if some danger in his life occurred i'd be the first to talk to him. Makes me really sad.
It leaves me with a heavy heart and i am thinking about writing that to him beforeI go in on friday.
I wish you all a wonderful day and that all of you going in will be safe!
Surgery time is set!
I just got an email that i have to be there 8:30 pm. And as i read that i had a ten minute panic but it quickly went, so i am back to normal and feel calm. I started worrying about the late time because i hope it won't be too late and the surgeon tired!.. Well. I can't change anything so i am going to let everything roll.. Hugs to you!
Reason for itching and peeling skin after surgery
the peeling and itching skin is completely normal ( if there are no signs of red marks, or other reactions like that, that would be an allergic reaction ) because, your skin has been tightened, your body reacts to that and is producing new skincells to widen everything. So the new cells build throughout the whole skin of the new boobs! That's what settles the boobs to a more natural look. I am sure thats one reason for some surgeons to tell you to wear the surgical bra for 6 weeks. If you let your boobs too free.. They might develop to much new skin because of the weight that is released too quickly. Just a theory. The same about scaring. If your boobs are without bra for many hours in the first weeks, it is quite logical that the scars are widening more as if you keep the breast tightly packed until everything is completely healed.
I am going to test this after my surgery and we will see if i am right.
Still very very calm and wrong surgery time told!
Oh i did something wrong! The time is wrong! I am going in 4:30 pm, how came i mixed it up and didn't notice??
( so you are about morning then)
I am not nervous at all because i think it is so late in the evening! I fear how i will survive so long without starving ;) or.. at least drinking... :( i wished the surgery would be earlier because of this. So waiting will kill me tomorrow. Last night i thought "oh no, no more sidesleeping soon" and cuddled on the side with hubby into sleep.
He has taken time off work for two weeks and will be with me from this evening on :) it is 7:23 pm here, can't imagine some of you are having lunch time right now!
The hubby said he wanted to come with me and stay in the hospital for the whole hours. I told him not to because he will get bored and should better do something to keep him busy. He said, "but i want to be near to you, so i can send you my good energy through the wall" that was soo sweet. He is a tough guy but he is also very sweet ;) i am going to marry the best man in the world ( for me )! But after he talked to his mother, who is really more nervous as i am, we could change his mind. We both said that the kids shouldn't be alone or with someone else than him. They might develop fear and i want him to look after
them. He will drive back home.
Saturday evening we have a bit of an organization problem. It is a very important info-day for the gymnasium my son will be going to visit. And someone has to go their. Sure i would want to do this with my hub, but this won't happen so he needs to go there on his own. We are not sure yet if he can pic me up at the hospital or if his parents should pick me up instead... We will see! I would love my hub to bring me home but i can't ask for that. Will be stressful for him anyway.
So.. I just finished working, writing this on my way back home from a city train.
I will have a nice bath with my hub and we will watch a movie and make it nice and cuddly :) If i am getting panic attacks in the night i will let you know! Love to you and thank you for your prayers and thoughts
OK! 3 Hours to go..
24 Jan 2014
Day of treatment
.. i am getting a little nervous now. It is a bit like going up and down in an elevator. Sometimes i am driving up and then down again.. then i am feeling ok and it starts all over again.
Just showered, got my nail lacque off my nails and put clear on so they could see if i don't get enough air through my body ;) and as always when i am completely without make up i feel horrible and don't like myself _at all_ ;D If i stay home it is ok but i don't like going out like this very much. My stomach starts to ache because i get HUNGRY !!
grr.. The only thing i am concerned of is still if they have proper food for me at midnight :D !!
They better not come along with sume rice crackers !!! I need real food ! I already thought about taking something with me.. ! *lol* i am food obsessed.. no wonder i don't loose more weight :)
I packed my stuff together and wondered if i have everything i need. We will see..
Thank you all for your encourangement again!! You are all so wonderful and you have a place in my heart :)) I guess i will write again if i am on my way. Talk to you later !
Oh and for all who fear about their hubbies reactions..
24 Jan 2014
Day of treatment
i know everyone is acting or behaving different. But even if my future hubby is quite ( and has been ) obsessed about my big boobs, he did say to me this morning, that he would love me still if they are asymmetrical or different, or smaller afterwards. He just wants me to come out of this alive. Sure he said he couldn't tell how he would feel about them after the surgery ( nor can i say it for myself ) so we will see but i am sure he will support me and love me and there is nothing like a reduction only could change that. He said goodbye to them this morning. Haha !! Sure he said it is a big change but he will get used to it.
Hugs to all of you
24 Jan 2014
Day of treatment
Waah. I get a little fear " injection" everytime i look at my watch!!!
24 Jan 2014
Day of treatment
.... Aww my babygirl cried when i had to leave! :'( that makes it so much harder...
I will post when i am on the other side, and hopefully taking pictures from the marking..
Hugs to all of you
I'm on the other side!!!!
24 Jan 2014
Day of treatment
I'm soooo excited i finally made it!! I'm in bed in the hospital ( obviously ) and it is 2:35 am in the morning right now, i feel wide awake the second time this night / morning. My view is blurry but i am too awake and excited to sleep and not tell. I will update with the pre-surgery marking pics. I asked my hub to do it. He stayed until i had to follow the anesthesiologist and was very sweet. We arrived in time at 4:30 but the anesthesiologist came about half n hour later, my surgeon too. But he had been at some seminar and was late too. He came in with a little black box, looking like a beautycase kind off.
I wasn't angry that they were late due to traffic problems we experienced for ourselves.
The anesthesiologist was very nice, had a calm voice.. asked me a bit about health issues i had and even told me he knew someone who would be good in spinal surgery.. ;) first he said i just needed a small tube and the mask for the narcotics but made up his mind when i told him i have a reflux. He then said that he will use a tubus. I am ok with that, i know it is more secure.
So he gave me some nice Antiembolism stockings and a surgery night gown ;) and told me everything will be fine! I changed the clothes and hubby was showing me his shaking hand ;) I got my IV and then we were alone for a few minutes and i made jokes to get him away from his fear. I said i might need to get dressings and he said, oh no YOU don't get anything darling and I said, sure! I will go inside the pharmacy half dead saying i need some dressings for my bullet wound :D haha
Then the PS came in and started the marking. It was very interesting for the hub and i asked him to do pictures, so there you go!
I walked into the op room ( no bed rolling in, private hospital) and l had to lay down. I greeted the other people in the room ( assistance and op nurse) and my Ps asked what music i wanted to hear. I said, pick something you like because you will be the one listening to it ;) then the anesthesiologist put something into my iv and i was lights out.
I woke up recognizing myself talking in english what was really funny!! in the last few weeks i have a hard time remembering the german words because i have them in my mind but in english. I feel stupid when that happens ;)
So when i woke up i heard myself but babbling and i can't tell how many people where around me.
I got more awake soon and then i recognised the anesthesiologist coming in a few times checking on my. He asked me about my pain and gave me something that helped. Later on he came back in, in his jacket, ready to go home and i know i took his hand, held it with my other and said thank you for the work you have done! And i also did that with the night nurse and the Ps. The Ps came in around 11:30, i am just guessing, could have been later, but he opened up my cute surgical bra, showed me the right breast really quickly. He said he is happy with the results and i am going to be too. But that was so quick i can't really remember. But man, this surgical bra is reaaaally cute and nice! And comfy! I will have to see which brand it is.
I am thursty like hell... I already ask the night nurse for more water.. And i have a sore throat. I sound like a rockstar... Earlier the anesthesiologist said i shouldn't talk too much because of it but i was babbling due to the drugs i guess.
So.. The BIGGEST surprise to me where, that i have DRAINS!! First i was shocked when I saw them! I mean he did say i wouldn't have them.. But the nightnurse said they always do it this way. I am just a teeby tiny bit angry, but in the end i think it is better to have the fluid out than having it inside.
SO! I will definitely ask the surgeon for that in 4 hours, then it is 8 am and my hubby will pick me up! When i got out of the surgery it was so late, that hubby didn't come. I told him not to and the PS either because i would sleep anyway. I got the mobile number from my PS for emergency cases and he called my hubby to tell him that everything's fine, i am awake and that the surgery took 5 hours! Wheeew.!
I managed to get my mobile in my hand and i also called my hubby! I was definitely able to talk, but i felt a bit like i was a bit drunk and had to choose my words a bit. He was happy that he could speak to me!
I touched my breasts very carefully.. and.. OUTCH! My right one hurts pretty obviously more than the left. The right gives me tiny zingerlike feelings.
I look at my drains and it is not much.. Until now.
Lets see, i can talk, i can write, i can lift my arms up very easily.. The feeling inside the breast i would say is like... When you get your menstruation and there are swollen gland parts / Lymph that can really hurt if you press on them. Like knifesharp stinging here and there. It also feels like milk coming in after you gave birth, like BÄM! I start to feel the incisions, which is a feeling like really nasty scratches on your skin. Stinging kind of but not too bad! I feel like i could go to the toilet on my own but... I am not allowed too. I had to pee right away when I came out of the anesthesia and the nurse put me on a bedpan. I DIDN'T care at that moment by the way! I just peed and felt good to be empty haha!
So..! I will keep you updated and as soon i am not in the dark anymore i might take pics of my new cleavage!
I don't know why but i am not screaming yet like 'omg omg they are so small' because it still feels too surreal for me.. Maybe in a few hours i might realize what happened!
Love to you!
Oh and did i..
24 Jan 2014
Day of treatment
... already mention that i am WIDE awake?? We have 4:25 am and i could write all night or whatever..i guess i should sleep but i need to pee again!... Oh noes!
I show you pictures from this morning.. where i didn't have so much pain. But right now it really hurts.... i will be taking ibuprofen 800 in one hour again, hopefully it helps. I have to take three a day and antibiotics two times. My stomach doesn't like the pills.. I will ask my surgeon on monday for something to help with that. The drains are annoying. I am happy that i am through but because it hurts i find it difficult to enjoy the boobs yet.
Measures after operation :
100 cm around breasts, so i lost 5 cm. We will see how it will change in the next weeks
.... Thank you all for your comments! I am really happy that you like the result too, hehe. I am reading every single comment and i am happy about any advice you give me!
Hugs and love back to all of you Sweeties!
After taking the painmed i feel a bit better. My daughter is reading me a book and i have very good care!
So i will update everyday now, i thought about the following information, let me know if i miss something :
I can walk around, but standing up and leaning forward ackes a lot and it is difficult because it hurts to support myself. I recognised that even sitting does produce a lot of pressure on the boobs even with the surgical bra that is tight. I can go to pee on my own, getting my pants up does acke.. But it is not impossible. I wouldn't be able to embrace or carry a child for those of you who have to look after children. I can lift my arms up and brush my hair carefully. I can get in a t-shirt but i need help. I also can't get in a jacket, button up or zipped hoodie on my own because overstretched arms do pull on incisions.
Bust measurement pre-op (105cm/41,3 inches )
Today: 100 cm / 39, 4 inches
Scars: haven't seen yet
Swelling: 10/10 stone-hard
Skin-Feel / Nerves: no feeling of the areola, reaction on the right nipple seems to work anyway, Skin around incision area very numb
Emotion: happy overall but not able to celebrate the result as i should because they acke so much!
Mobility : I came up and out of bed but not without a lot of pain. I managed going to pee, was able to take a washcloth and wash my armpits and genitalarea, was able to wash my face ( even used my clarisonic, call me crazy) i am asking for help whenever i would have to bent forward because i feel like i shouldn't. I manage sitting at the table having breakfast with family. I wouldn't be able to lift or carry a child! Bust measurement pre-op (105cm/41,3 inches )
Today: 100 cm / 39, 4 inches no change!
Painlevel: 8/10 Pain: The right does hurt alot, feels like a baseball bat hit me. Righty looks beaten up, dark and blue
Scars: look clean, slightly reddish around the incisions but not alarming yet
Swelling: 10/10 stone-hard
Skin-Feel / Nerves: i feel tingling, no real sensation of areolas, sliiiight reaction on the right though
Emotion: i am more happy than yesterday , i feel skinny!! I see that i have a bit of a tummy to work on but i don't care yet!! Happy to be able to play with my kids.
Day 2 part II
... I couldn't sleep until 3-4 am, slept only 5 hours. I feel wide awake and very clear in my head, same as yesterday. I don't feel any nausea and can eat normal. My stomach hurt because of the ibuprofen but seems to be better today. I started taking bromelain today, taking arnica and staphysagria for good scars. I don't have a bit of ooze showing on the dressings. The incisions are very clean. No more fluids came out since yesterday morning. I lay in bed in a higher angle, just found out we could elevate the headpart of the slatted frame of my bed.It is very comfy and i am relaxing there without having pain at all atm.
The surgical bra i awoke in is a Size L. My marena surgical bras are M i hope i will fit in ;) i didn't need any laxatives! Could go to toilet today and no problems!
Bromelain is very good
... Against swelling. I took just one 500 gr pill this morning and it helped a lot! I felt so much better and there is a lot less pressure on the drains so i am sure i have less swelling. It is a tremendous difference. I can just give you the advice to get it.
.. So.. sorry i let you wait a bit, but today was, let me say different. I was quite tired the whole afternoon, maybe because i slept about 3-4 hours last night ( like every night since the surgery ).
I had an appointment with my Ps this morning at 10:30 am aaaaand missed it !! Yeah..pretty stupid.. but it happend that the hubby and i drove to the private practice where i had the surgery instead of driving to the big hospital i was supposed to have my appointment at. The hub misunderstood me and when i finally realized where we were driving it was too late. When we arrived at the hospital his secretary told me that he would be doing operations for the next 12 hours but that there is a very nice assistant doctor who could also check on my boobs.
The waiting area was full, i stood there 1 1/2 hours.. sometimes sitting, sometimes standing.. and it wasn't very pleasant. You mustn't believe that there was one, standing up for me. Even if there were people seeing that i had to bloody drains on my left and right and were obviously visitors..The hub got angry but i told him i was ok and that did it.
My breast felt sore and i wanted these f****** drains out. So after a while the hubby asked the secretary if all fresh operated patients have to wait almost 2 hours.. SHE thought we were done already and someone must have missed the information i was there waiting.. ! I was a little pissed but tried to hide it, since it was our fault we were too late !! So i gulped it down and was happy when a lady finally came calling my name.
She wasn't very hm.. nice. I don't know.. she looked liked she had done one of those 48 hour watches and not have sleep for a long time. She didn't smile at first. I asked her if she was the assistant that was helping my Surgeon during my surgery and she said yes. I told her that i had almost more pain in the tummy than in the breast and that the ibuprofen doesn't seem to do anything for me. I could also leave it and it wouldn't change anything in my breast pain. She told me to now take Novalgin 3-4 times a day. It is also nothing heavy like Tramal, Tramadol, Morphine and such but i think it works better because my right doesn't hurt as much. I am now also taking pantoprazol as a protection for my tummy. I have a very sensitive ( also due to a fructose intolerance ) tummy and i almost expected the touble so no surprise!
She asked me to lay down, took the dressings off.. looked at my incisions.. pressed carefully on the boobs and said, " i would prefer to leave the drains in.. can you come back tomorrow ?" and i was like "nooooooo!!!! all i came for today was to get rid of these nasty bottles and the tubes that feel like they twist my insides and it hurts! I don't know if that's the case because i got liposuction to the sides ( which i asked her if they had done that, and they had ) I don't feel alot of pain in the breast yet but almost and only on the sides. She said because the breast seems to be still very swollen she would prefer to let them in ( even if the surgeon would have taken them out two days ago?? There was not a bit of more fluid in them since saturday? ) Well, we have another appointment tomorrow at 9 am and hopefully the PS will have mercy and get these things out!
She didn't say anything about the antibiotic and i didn't ask. She gave me the meds for the next days and she asked me then how i sleep and i told her in an 30 to 45 degree angle. She said that's good, told me to do as less as possible and that was it. Tomorrow morning i will ask the ps if it is ok to stop with the antibiotic already.
Mobility : Hm, i can do anything, but not reach out high, hold arms up for long, can't carry heavy things. I can't stretch my arms back. So getting into jackets is difficult. Getting in and out of the car wasn't easy either. Supporting myself with my arms does hurt sometimes more and sometimes doesn't hurt at all. I could wash myself, walk around, got my hair washed by the hub. I kneed down on the bathroom floor with a pillow and held my head over the tub. I had a pillow to support my breast and it was ok. I wouldn't have wanted to let my hair the way it was. Two days without washing hair are my maximum.
Bust measurement pre-op 105cm
Today: 101 cm ( 1 cm more than yesterday !)
Painlevel: 4/10 Pain: The right does still hurt alot more, feeling of a tugging pain..The left is very ok, almost no pain there. Today i had a feeling of "burning" after a 1 hour drive into the hospital with bumbs in the road, beeing in there about 2 hours, and then another hour back home. They felt tingling, burning a bit and like they would be hot. That subsided as soon as i laid down in bed( Luckily, they aren't hot, it was just the feeling of it, otherwise i would be scared there is an infection )
Now where i sit, the burning starts again, i guess that's from the scars.
Scars: Assistant doc said, they look very clean, no signs of necrosis or any other things that i feared. She removed a few steri strips already which surprised me and said, that the stitches are going to be removed next week.
Swelling: 10/10 stone-hard
Skin-Feel / Nerves: i feel tingling, no real sensation of areolas, sliiiight reaction on both of them though. I had a few times today where it felt like there was some water rushing trough my breast.. but it was kind of electrical charged. VERY strange feeling. Still no fluids coming out so i guess it will be ok.
The bruising is a lot more around the areolas but it looks kind of brown-yellow so i guess i will subside soon.
Emotion: I felt good until i was told the drains stay in. I am a bit impatient today and bored..i am laying around the whole day and i don't like not beeing able to sleep but feel tired somehow.
Sleep: We will see ! Last nights were just a few hours. Will tell tomorrow how the night was !
Love you Ladies !! Thank you for your comments and good wishes =)
Uh and Oh !
I wanted to tell you, that my Ps insisted that, if i want to have a look at my new girls, i should do that while laying down and with a mirror only ! He said he doesn't want me to stand in front of a mirror with an open bra and if i listen to him i will have a nice shape. So that's what i am going to do and why you just see the boobs while i am laying down ! I don't like the feeling of them beeing unprotected anyway. It is nice to have the surgical bra open for a few minutes but i am always happy to have the support.
Yes I am quite bruised and thinking, how would i have looked like without arnica! Arnica does such wonders. Anytime i get a hit or hurt myself whatever and i take it i am without bruises and swelling. It is like a miracle. So. They must have hurt the skin aaaalooot that i get these bruises anyway. But, i am not surprised! To get these perky thingys out of the tubus boobs must be like... I don't know, sewing a pillow together that spills out everywhere and you need to stuff back everything and stretch the skin to the max. I mean i know exactly what they did, i saw it in videos ;) I don't like sewing manually , i would have gotten mad to get the sides together i am sure :D
The appointment with my ps and his assistant ( the same doctor from the day before who is btw american :) went very well,
My drains are out!!! Wooohooo! She was nice today :)
I feel so much better and the pain on my sides left me instantly by the removal of these tubes. I am completely honest, the pulling itself didn't hurt at all, it felt a lot more pain when they released the vacuum and my ps started to cut the stitches where the drains had been sued to my skin. That was a bit uncomfortable but not at all what i expected!
So he told me to take the antibiotics another day but as soon i would have difficulties with the tummy i should throw them away ;l He was overall very proud on his work and said he is very pleased with the results. He said it is a quick work to put implants into a woman but to create something new is what is the real challenge. And he said that's what he is good at. I can only agree! He was very nice and took his time and i felt cared of. When he first looked at my breasts he said "oh wow, who did THAT to you?" My hub said "If i am going to find that guy i will gonna get him!" And we laughed. It was very relaxed at that time. He told me i could put some heparin creme on my haematomas if i wanted but i think i will just put some rescue creme on and leave it. He said the incisions look very good, and he thinks everything looks great. He saw that i brought another surgical bra with me to swap and wash the other one. He was sceptic if i bought one that is good but his assistant knew the marena bra and smiled at me when i said in america they are the best. He commented that my bra looked a lot sexier which wasn't my intention and i was wondering if he meant it serious because the marena is beige and not.. ssooooo sexy in colour.. i find. Then
I was surprised, he told me that during the op he had to reopen the right boob because he wasn't happy with the difference. Thats the reason for the bruising i guess. I asked him for the amounts taken out and he guesstimated he took out about 700gr from righty and about 600 from lefty. So a lot more than i thought on the right. ( i guess putting myself on a kitchen scale didn't reveal the real weight) Just in case a few want to know, my surgeon placed my areolas in the height of 20 cm from collarbone to nipple. So 1 cm higher than the quite common 21. That is what we discussed, i measure still 20 cm from collarbone to nipple now but i am sure this changes if they settle more.
He also explained that he always takes a lot tissue from the sides, because he doesn't like the boxyness so many surgeons create. He said it is a process to be very careful with and he has to concentrate alot on that but thats what creates an almost sideboob free new boob. So hurray! I am so happy i chose him!
I have another appointment at thursday, next week the stitches around the areola will be removed. And he said he is going to remove the stitches from the breastfold around week three because his experience is that works the best. In many reviews i read here, were openings of the anchor scar pressure points a quite common Problem. I also linked to information about that opening around week 3-4 of the healing process. I find it interesting that my ps does wait 3 weeks and i am hoping that due to the fact i have the stitches in longer than what seems to be normal, i wont have the opening in the breastfold. I am a little lab rat then. If it occurs anyway you will know if or if it doesn't matter. We'll see! I try to let you know everything i can.
Mobility: I was out from 9am till 3pm. Most of the time i was sitting. I have been to the hairdresser with hub and we also bought him a few clothes. I was ok until then but recognised that i had increased heart rate and thought ok lets go home. I guess i overdid it a bit.
Overstretching arms hurt, support with arms ackes and is also not recommended...but i do it sometimes.. like getting out of a car. I ate a bid thing called Döner today and i had to hold it with both arms.. :D it is really difficult and ackes to bent forward. If short or long i don't like doing it. Getting in shoes i still need help. Walking up the steps of four floors ( we live in the highest flat in a house without elevator ) was tough. I had the heart rate of a bunny when i came home after beeing out so long. Still wouldn't be able to lift a child ! I could embrace very very carefully my kid but without pressure.
Bust measurement ( 105 cm preop ) : 100 cm
Painlevel: 2/10 Pain: I feel so much better without drains and i am in almost no pain. It is just starting to acke if i bent forward, and sitting upright or moving arms to much.
Scars: look fine, said the doc. Nothing to worry about, he said i could put heparin creme on the bruises
Swelling: 10/10 stone-hard, no change, i feel like Pamela Anderson.
DONT GET THE MARENA BRA IN Size M IF YOU ARE UNDERBUST 34-36. I should have taken Size L with bust 36 preop.. definitly!!
Skin-Feel / Nerves: I feel start itching a little, and the whole day, i had a feeling in my breast as if i had some little minions in there starting a motor. It feels so weird, like a buzzing or humming sound. Started in the left breast yesterday, now right also.
The bruising is a lot more but no concerns.
Emotion: Overall soo happy to have thr drains out, i feel much more human now. I have been to the hairdresser today, got to visit my parents in law for a coffee.. had a little shopping with hub..went something to eat.. It was / is a good day ! I feel still a lot slimmer in my shirts but had not the Cry moment yet. I am sure it will come :) Need a bit more rest :)
Sleep: HURRAY, i slept 6 hours!! And i feel like reborn!
Day 4 pics
Showing the too small Marena in M
Sorry the pics are crappy and bad lighting compromised my pics! Better to come tomorrow!
Mobility: I was out 4 hours in the morning, just doing light walking, driving to an appointment the hub had, shopping again for on hour or so. I could still not lift a child. I helped the hub to tidy up the table after the breakfast but i did it slowly and without bending forward too much. I am getting in my clothes easily i would say. I could not at all do the change of dressings or check on my incisions completely alone. Well, i might be able to but it would hurt so you shouldn't and you can't look under your breast. ( a hand mirror helps alot!) After i was out, i felt like a truck hit me, i felt very very tired. After the meal i slept 2 hours. Just got up around 7 pm. Played cards and rummikub ( is that written correctly? Don't know ;) My daughter is going to sleep in school tomorrow because of a special event and i will miss her terribly. My parents are coming on friday and i hope the mood will be better tomorrow! I have another appointment with the ps tomorrow.
Bust measurement pre-op (105cm )
Today ( always measured in the same bra ) : 100 cm
Scars: they itch and sometimes i have little knife-sharp stings coming from them, the look a little red but i am not sure. The right side where the drain was in, is red. I put disinfection on it and also over the incisions. The hubby put "Rescue-cream" on the haematomas.
Swelling: 10/10 stone-hard, will that be different anytime soon? I guess not!
Skin-Feel / Nerves: No buzzing /humming feel today, just feel like i was beaten on the sides. Laying down i don't feel good most of the time. Righty still does hurt a lot more. I can move my left arm alot better than the right.
Emotion: I feel down today, almost depressed. Could be because the hub is getting really bored at home and he is getting very impatient. He tries not to show it too much but gets pissed somehow everytime i talk to him. Bad thing is that this vibe at home makes me quite aggressive, because i can't do much atm and don't like beeing under pressure or feel guilty.
Meds: i stopped taking antibiotics on monday morning ( day three of surgery) , because they caused trouble in my tummy. Still taking 3x 500 mg Novalgin (painmed) , 3x Pantozol (tummy - protection) 2x Bromelain ( against swelling ) and Staphysagria ( scars) + Arnica (overall recovery of injuries) every now and then a few globuli. I also do take my regular meds daily, like 1x vitamins, my 1x thyroid-med, 1x monk's pepper. Seems to be much but i think i still need it all.
Sleep: I slept 7 hours in the night again and had a 2 hour "nap" in the afternoon. I am still very tired.
I hate (!!!) not beeing able to edit ( lovely realself customer service!)
I wrote i wouldn't feel good laying down, but i meant i do feel good while laying down. Just sitting and standing for long isn't good!
Day 5 Downer..
.. i just forgot to tell you all something very stupid that happened to me today:
I went to my ( quite new ) optician today to get my new test contact-lenses and went in their store staying at their counter, i don't know what made her say that but she looked at me and said, "are you pregnant'??" like she was in shock.. i looked down on myself and saw my bloated tummy trough the t-shirt, i haven't been hiding enough obviously.. and felt SO ASHAMED. But i said.. i had a surgery and i am still very bloated you know... Then she said "sorry".. and tried to get out of the situation.. but it was just SO stupid! I mean i had a jacket on.. why did she even look for it.. i don't know. Yes i look thin, but i also have a quite big tummy if i don't "suck it in" you know. Today when i tried on a few pullovers i thought.. "eew nice breasts, but shitty tummy !!" And because of that stupid woman i felt like total shit today. I don't know. I hope i won't make a problem out of that.
I just can't come over how stupid and rude some people can be. I even think about changing to another shop because i find her so disrespectful. What if i was just fat and had no surgery as "reason for beeing bloated"...? What if i would always wanted to be pregnant but coulnd't and this idiot of a woman points on it? I wonder how others would feel if they are confronted with such stupidness. Ok. So now i am telling myself to calm down, get over it, try to eat cucumber instead of bread and shut your mouth for today.
Just in case anyone is wondering, i am quite lazy atm and tired and i tried to read everyones updates and reviews but i won't always comment. Don't be bothered by that, i love you all. Hopefully will have mor energy tomorrow. Hugs to all of you !
For Tam Butterfly.. ;)
... I know we all come to the point very quickly that we still feel too big ( and sometimes too small ) and trying on old bras is not always the best way to find out.. Yesterday i realized that my bust changed 5 cm / 1.97 inch.. and i was curious enough to check what difference this would make me cup-wize. I would be an american 36D/german 80E. But i wanted to be a german 80 C so i am still two cup sizes too big for my goal..if i check the amount taken out... Well that is 1.2 kilograms / 2.65 lb / 42 oz...Even if i
am realizing that amount as water in a bottle.. I can't get it in my head how this can change my bust down only 1.97 inches in bustsize. I mean look at that amount i am holding under my new boobs? Anyway, i am veeeery happy about the shape, but i couldn't get my mind around it too. Yesterday night i read that one should take the bust not while wearing a bra, other say while bending forward. I just want to tell you all, you are not alone. We are all going through this stage.. And hopefully everything will smooth out and we will get used to it.. ( or probably swell down!) xoxo
Soooo... i will keep this short because i don't have sooo much to tell today BUT This morning i had only 99 cm bust measurement hurray !! 1 cm lost on day 6 ! I felt very good today and i almost feel al slight change in overall mobility. I was up on my feet almost all day.. or sitting. The appointment with my ps was good. He said everything looks fine, i see a part of my incision on the left side which looks a little red.. i keep my eye on that. He didn't mention i should put anyhting on it and i am allowed to shower now :D ( btw as he said i shouldn't lookt at my boobs in a standing position, but if i go for a shower i am allowed to peek of course. He just said i should get the bra on quickly :D ) hurray i am quite done with washcloths :) Ps said i should stay with arnica and bromelain.
Mobility: Could do anything but not do quick moves, getting in and out of car carefully. I can move my arms but i try to be careful. Reaching out still not a good idea. Not able to lift a child or carry heavy things. If i lift a water bottle i feel like it is pulling slightly.. so i am not carrying more than that. I am taking pain meds only twice a day now. My ps said it would be ok to stop with them tomorrow if i feel good with it. In one week from now he will take out the areola stitches. I hope my incisions will stay fine until then..if not, i got his mobile nummer in case anything happens. I don't think i will need it but i think it is great that he offers it.
Bust measurement pre-op (105cm )
Today ( always measured in the same bra ) : 99 cm ( yeah, first change since surgery )
Pain: Still painful on the sides, and i start to feel more pain in the space between the areola and the breastfold, more nerves connecting.
Scars: the left looks a little red but until now no concern from the ps
Swelling: still feels 10/10 stone-hard
Skin-Feel / Nerves: Areolas react both on touch but no feel to them.
Emotion: I feel happy :)
Sleep: Slept well and deep !
Asked the ps if i am allowed to sit a lot
..he said there is no problem with sitting at all. I just shouldn't bent forward too much and not stretch the arms to much. I was a bit conscience stricken because i sat a lot yesterday and didn't lay down for long. So i am ok to do that now, yeay. So, now i will watch the new ghosthunters episode. Hurray. Only good news today ;) Except that my boobs look a lot worse than the most i can see here ;D Xoxo
.. grrr i forget everything... ;p
as always ! The ps said i am allowed to "wash" the steri strips off. He will put on new ones next time we see eachother because he believes it helps a lot to get better scars. I asked him if i should put some desinfection spray on them after showering and he said if i feel i want to i could ( but don't need to which surprises me to be honest ) But as i learned in medical school that everything has to be desinfectioned now and then to prevent infections.. i am going to do it after the shower. AAnnd he said he believes i am going to be a full C at the end.. ( we will see if it will be more a D or not.. ) I am happy anyway !
Whew, i was really tired today! I did nothing really, just hang around in bed, and welcome my parents who arrived in the evening. I was very happy to have my shower this morning but realized that i would have needed help with my towels. It is freezing cold here, holding a big towel below the breast and beeing wet everywhere, not able to wrap another towel around my head annoyed me a little. Blowdrying the Steristrips worked very well. But they didn't come off while showering, just one stripe. I am sure i was very careful so i will give it a few days. Seeing my new boobs standing in front of a mirror was the first time for me today. What was kind of annoying to see was the view of my new boobs in the mirror AND my tummy and sides. Umm. No waistline. I don't know what i had hoped i had a Breast-reduction and no tummy tuck! Anyway, i am sure they look good ( if i leave out the bruising) but i don't feel like they are mine yet. I already wondered because most of the reviews here are so " screaming happy" after the surgery and i am still going through a process. At the very first day i thought wow, i look small and i loved it. Then i realized that i am not at all small, but smaller of course and in a loooot better shape too. The last two days i look in the mirror and feel still a bit big. I see that my breasts look a little different in form and the right is still a bit bigger. I am sure it will even out a bit, but i hope the form will too. I have to admit that i feel so much more aware of my tummy now that it already feels a bit like a problem. I didn't want to feel bad about anything after the surgery and this is nothing i expected at all, even after reading about it didn't. So, seeing that i still have the same bodyshape even if i thought it will change/look different gives me a small depression today. I don't feel as comfortable as i imagined. Sad is, that even if i reduced weight or could magically loose my after-pregnancy-flabby-kangaroo-whole i would still have no waistline. No way boobs can change that. I am going to boohoo in my pillow a bit, don't take me too seriously today.
Bust measurement before op 105 cm
Bust measurement today 99 cm
Skin Feel / Nerves : Areolas react both quicker to touching, still no sensitivity, i feel more throughout the whole breast.
Pain: now and then a stinging from the incisions, pulling sensation on the right side. Overall almost no pain.
Swelling: still feels 10/10 stone-hard, right still more swollen
Scars: still look slightly red but a little better than yesterday the hub said
Meds: no painmed today, just my regular meds incl. bromelain and arnica
Emotion: described above.. ;/
You are so kind !
Everyone of you, you almost made me cry a little. Thank you for beeing such friends !!
I won't be able to answer every single comment today because i have my parents at home for a whole week so don't be sad or angry at me. I love reading you comments so much and check every few hours :) Usually it takes a lot for me to be able to cry at all... i guess you are right, if depression is meant to start around the 5th day.. then i might be experiencing it now. I did a few pictures this morning to cheer me up and it worked... i put on the blue shirt i have been wearing in my earlier posts ( which i honestly don't like very much... but my hubby bought it for me and thought it is so sweet i am not able to throw it in a deeper edge of my wardrobe-cabinet. ) I think on these pictures i see a big difference. I even recognized this morning that i had a few milimetres less.. My bust was 98,5 cm this morning ( 105 pre op, and 100cm till day 5 ) when my stephmother came she compared hers to mine and we were carefully pressing our boobs together. That made me laugh. Well she said, not that much difference :D Well her bust was about 88 so i am still a lot away from her :DD but it was funny..
I will give you a full update in the evening. Love to you Ladies!!
Soo.. Call me crazy, i did an almost 5 mile walk with my parents today. We were walking through the snow and we were walking slowly. They said wheneveri wou feel ok my hub would go back and get the car but i didn't feel bad nor did i hurt. We ate some cake and had a coffee in a restaurant on the middle of the way. On the last 20 minutes i started too feel acking in my back and neck. I had problems with headaches this morning because of back and neck pain. Maybe due to sleeping on my back? I don't know. Sitting down in the car i felt a little burning sensation in the breast but it stopped right away. I was very tired at home, so i layed down a bit, ate something, played a bit with parents and kids and now i am off to bed. Its nearly 12 Midnight. Tomorrow i won't do anything ;) had two not so nice pains in the right breast later that evening. But i am not sure why, because of the walk or because of the fact i don't take pain meds anymore?
Still not able to lift a kid.
Bust measurement 105 pre op
Bust today 98,5 cm
Skin-Feel /Nerves : slight burning sensation which went away quickly, some stings here and there on incisions, the incisions are red on the middle parts.
Swelling: 9/10 but still stone-hard most of the time
Sleep: no problems
Day 9..... Underbust reveal..!
I don't know why I didn't do this earlier but after having showered i measured my underbust for the first time after the surgery! I was quite shocked because it was 85 cm underbust, before i was 80 cm. So a difference from 36 to a 38 band after surgery. I feel that is still a lot of swelling so i hope this helps you ladies and girls with same sizes, to pick the right sizes for after surgery bras! Bust measurement pre-op (105cm/41,3 inches )
Today ( always measured in the same bra ) : 98,5 cm Underbust measurement pre-op (34-36 / 80 cm) Today with lipo on sides done 38/ 85 cm!
Painlevel: 2/10 Pain: above the left end of my scar, on the left breast is a small red part that ackes, could have been the bra, had a knife-pain feeling while breathing in, in the right.
Scars: very red in my opinion on the part where the assistant pulled of the Steristrips on day 3. I put disinfection spray on all incisions, blowdry it, then i put bepanthen creme on the read incision parts. On the bruises rescue cream. Helps!
Swelling: lefty 8/10 hard righty 10/10 stone-hard
Skin-Feel / Nerves: right nipple seems to stand out bigger, looks slighty different in colour but healthy. I assume that their must be a lot going on in righty.. Maybe a big haematoma starting to heal? Don't know..
Emotion: overall good... I do see the difference of both breasts in the pictures, but not so much seeing them after shower and having a straight view on them. I try to tell myself to relax about that but it isn't sooo easy.
... If you have sutures spitting...
.... Get them out if you are about 3-4 weeks post op. ( You can do that with a tweezer and small scissors if you can't pull the stitch out completely) If you don't dare, go to your ps. Cutting them of at the surface can cause not only abcesses but also superficial scaring and it is a looong way to heal if these things are left in. I had a discussion with another member on this subject and it really annoys me if someone gives others advices that can cause harm or leave you with problems. If i do give you an advice it is because i have a medical background and i would never tell you something that could harm you. If you are unsure, please always contact your ps or a dermatologist. If you like, you can read a few ps comments on a problem case i saw. The main thing i want you to keep in mind that i have NEVER heard in my whole life that stitches should be cut on the surface if they can be pulled easily. This is nowhere a common praxis, if you had the opportunity to be in a hospital i am sure you never experienced that your stitches were left in and cut superficially! I did remove a lot of stitches from wounds during my education as a nurse. If there is a ps telling you to cut them off superficially, i question his reputation.
If you are interested, please read the following information :
My daughter was ill last night and vomited :( pour baby i am glad she is back to normal already and feels good again.)
Mobility: I was out for about 5 hours, went shopping and walking with the family. I am able to embrace people very careful but i still wouldn't lift a child. I am able to carry small things but nothing heavy.
Bust measurement pre-op (105cm )
Today ( always measured in the same bra ) : 98 cm
Scars: itchy-painful sensation sometimes, red incisions parts, put bepanthene
Swelling: lefty 7/10 soft but still hard tissue parts near incisions and still "balloon" - like. 8/10 righty, feels bigger, a lot harder and more painful.
Skin-Feel / Nerves: Not a lot of feeling below the areola / near incisions, goosebumps almost hurt a little though.
Emotion: I feel good emotionally.
Sleep works fine!
Pictures - please be aware that i hold in my tummy ad much as i can. ;))) if i had this shape i would need 8 kilos less ( about 18 lbs i guess)!! But showing my little 4-5 month pregant looking tummy is not going to happen ;P
Late Day 10 update
.. Because i updated too late, i will make two updates today ;)
... Soo... i was busy with my parents again, sorry i don't have to tell you alot ;/
I felt really good and except from a pain now and then i could almost forget i had a surgery 12 days ago. I am doing everything, except hard work or stretching arms out. I can cook, go out, walk around, sit, get my clothes on ( sometimes this is a bit tricky still ! depends on what clothing ! Make sure you still wear comfy things and nothing to tight where you can't get out !) I was shopping two tops :) I am really happy with my overall new chest ! The only thing that was bothering me a bit was when i saw the scar-length difference between lefty and righty. Lefty is from the outer areola ring to fold 6 cm and righty is 7,5. So... i hope this can smooth out when righty swells down, but!... i hope it won't hang down more than! :D Strange is, i don't see that difference from an above view, i don't see it as much when i am standing straight looking in the mirror ( Hey i know i shouldn't do that for long but i need to have showers! ;) I just see it if i stretch my back backwards.. sounds funny i hope i am writing it right :D
Sooo.. what else..
Breast measurement pre op 105 cm is today 98 cm ! Hurray !
Swelling: Lefty 6-7/10 , righty 8 /10, same stage as yesterday with the hard lumbs (?) tissue
Scars: On the picture i see a change.. lefty looks much better today, but righty still has something going on there. Looks a bit weird. I wonder if i should worry that i don't have steristrips there.. looks like the skin isn't healing nicely together? Strange.. because it looks like i willend up with almost no scars ?? I find it looks like it right now but maybe the turnaround point will come? I don't know i really hope it stays this way.. *compression bras 24/7 must work"!*
Soo Pain is 0/1 and i am not taking pain meds just the bromelain, arnica and staphysagria. Just now and then it is maybe 1/10. But just discomfort.. Only if i try to reach something it dos pull and i know when i shouldn't do it.
Skin Feel/Nerves: I start to feel something in my right nipple, but it is more a painful kind of sensitivity and very low. The left doesn't have that. Still reaction on both though.
umm.. I sleep very well but in the morning i find myself not laying propped up but slipped down :D
The last two days... but i didn't feel worse or something like that. My neckpain is better today... i had headackes in the mornings the last three days. I guess due to the back sleeping ect..
Tomorrow i will do a picture timeline ! I am quite excited to show them and thats why i won't upload pics today !! See you tomorrow :)) XoXo Hugs to all !
Day 12 !
YeaY ! Picture update !
But first the regular infos :) I did way too much today.. because.. we were out having breakfast in a really beautiful location and then did another 4 hour walk. Afterwards we were driving through bumpy roads and i knew it was a bad idea. Now i am back to 100 cm Bust measurement.. so i swelled 2 cm since yesterday ( yesterday i was down to 98 cm ;/ ) so.. not a good idea!
We were planning to go to a museum tomorrow, we will see how that goes. I still have no zingers but i am sure it is a matter of time, because everyone has to go through it i guess? I have little
"jolts" but they are small and more like little pushes and nothing that hurt.
Bust measurement pre op 105 cm
Bust measurement post op day 1 : 100 cm
Bust Today ( always measured in the same bra ) : 100 cm
Underbust measurement pre-op (34-36 / 80 cm) : 38/ 85 cm
Pain: Due to more swelling they hurt and feel stonehard again, my own fault !
Scars: Lefty looks good except from the inner edge of the breastfold scar, it stings when changing dressings and now and then. The scar on the right is slightly better, but still looks nasty in my opinion. Anyway not bad so we will see.
Swelling: lefty 10/10 stone-hard, righty 10/10 stone-hard
Skin-Feel / Nerves: Still veeery hard tissue beneath the skin, i will ask the ps about it. Feels like i have a "rock" skin at some areas. The incision parts are still very numb but i feel slightly when i am touched due to dressing change ect. Areolas still reacting, righty has sensitivity, lefty almost none.
Emotion: I feel good, sometimes getting angry easier and slightly more emotional.
the pics are a lot too small here.. maybe i need to upload them somewhere else.. ??
Pictures in better Size
I uploaded the pictures to an open website, so you can better see the incisions, seeing them only small doesn't help. So i hope some of you will have a look at them and tell me if they see enough to compare !
Boobs 1 / Boobs 2
Before / After in total
ok.. sorry ladies.. the advert on the site i uploaded the pics on is really annoying but if you manage to click away two pop ups you can enlarge the pictures and see everything really good.
I am tired today, couldn't sleep till 2am due to stomach problems i had from food ;/ I felt some stings from my incisions today and
i felt like reaching out my left arm hurt ! That was no problem all the days before and i feel a bit setback today.
When did you Ladies see the size of the scaring? When the scabs came off? I wonder if the scars will develope later??
I mean usually a scar is there and not developes so much ( except from kelloids) but, i don't see aaaanything
( except from the vertical scar on the right that is still healing ) Has anyone had the same experience?
I am still wearing my compression bra 24/7. I am sure this helps and i don't feel bad wearing it yet. It is really comfy.
I put bepanthene creme on the read parts of my incisions the last two days but today i showered and i didn't put the
creme on again. I see that the scabs are getting to soft from that and that isn't good atm.
Ok now it is evening and i am adding the following:
I am sure it's zinger time ! I think in the afternoon it started and i had a few at the way home sitting in the car.
They felt like uncomfortable stings that felt like going in the direction of the nipple from deep inside. Sometimes they were feeling like little
jolt-waves... a few seconds nothing and then a few stings again and so on. Lefty started the same. Overall i felt like i had surgery
for the first day. I felt like i could't stand on my feet,like my bloodpressure was down to nothing, i felt almost dizzy.
Headaches again. I don't know what this is now after the two week mark i start feeling the reduction or what?
Maybe just a bad day.. i take it as a good sign that i feel so much in my breasts. Even if its pain, its still a feeling.
So ! Tomorrow in the very early morning, when you all are still asleep i am getting the suture around the areolas out.
I am curious if that will hurt. But i am not freaked out about it. Talk to you tomorrow about it ! Good night!
Bust measurement pre op 105 cm
Bust measurement post op day 1 : 100 cm
Bust Today ( always measured in the same bra ) : 98,5 cm
Underbust measurement pre-op (34-36 / 80 cm) : 38/ 85 cm
Pain: The swelling from yesterday decreased again but they still -feel- more swollen still.
They feel very hard, but this could also be the Marena bra i am wearing that compresses them so much
Scars: Lefty seems to be ok, righty still slightly red along the vertical scar and below the sutures poking out.
I find that i have almost no scars?
The scars are stinging a lot more today than they did before.
Swelling: lefty 10/10 stone-hard, righty 10/10 stone-hard
Skin-Feel / Nerves: Still veeery hard tissue beneath the skin,
Feels like i have a "rock" skin at some areas.
The incision parts are still very numb. Areolas still reacting, righty has sensitivity, lefty almost none.
Sleep: I am very tired today.. went to bed not too late
Day 14 / Two weeks! :)
i got the stitches around the areola out on friday and it wasn't painful at all. He explained to me that he doesn't like using dissolvable stitches on the outer incisions because he believes that he achieves the best scars with that and also said that dissolvable ones often cause trouble during the healing process. He said that he knows that almost all of his colleagues do use dissolvable but he stays with his method because of scaring. So, on the vertical and underneath in the breastfold i still have the stitches in, but he said as long as i have no irritations he would like to leave them in for another week. He told me i should put on Steristrips to support the scars and i taped myself up today ( the ones he put on me during the appointment weren't tight enough and fell off instantly) so i did it my way. I learned ( during my education) that they have to be put on with a bit of a pull otherwise they don't do anything. The Prof. checked on my incisions and surprisingly he said everything looks fine, his assistant also said there is no infection. I thought they might be worried about my right vertical scar but obviously i was more concerned than they were and he said that everything looks very good. Saying, that 50% of the scar quality has to do with him and his abilities and the other 50% is the patient ( how woundcare is done and also genetic/health preferences) he told me to get Cica silicone sheets, but after some research i couldn't find special ones for mastopexies. I will research a bit more.. He swears by them because he told me they were used on patients with severe burning wounds and they helped very well. They are supposed to be able to change old scars too... I wonder if that's the case. He said i am allowed to put bepanthen cream on the incisions now. ( which i did two or three days before :-p)
Soo what else, i would recommend a few things now beeing two weeks post op:
Front closure bras worked the best for me and for the healing process! It is the easiest and most careful way to put on a bra! I still recommend the marena b2! It doesn’t acke on the breastfold scar and is tight enough to give the needed support.
If you can, i would recommend taking time off work for three weeks. Two aren't enough for me and i had a really easy recovery so far.. If you have a desk job.. Maybe two weeks are enough but i feel quite exhausted now, where i thought after two weeks most of that would be gone. I have to lift very heavy boxes at my work and i can't even imagine doing that already.
Itching! I had itching on day three only once and when it started i took a "cetridizin" because i felt like i wanted to scratch. It is an antihistamine medicine and helps against allergic reactions. It stopped the itching very quickly and never occured again since then! I highly recommend this if you have trouble with that.
As you can see on the picture i am peeling like a snake :) so i will put some moisture on the boobs soon. I just don't want the Steristrips wet now. I might get a little dogear because on righty is a suture at the end that pulls inward a lot. :/ Hope this will flatten a bit.
I am still sleeping propped up and wonder how long i should. When did you ladies feel comfortable laying more flat?
I was bad! I tried on a bra! But it was strange. I tried on a 36 E and it did fit in the upper part but i had two centimetres left underneath the breastfold, so i guess E is still too big. I tried on a 36 C from my stepmother and it looked too small but strangely fit anyway because it seems to need no support ha! And that was such a small, almost not there, seemless back strap. This bra was thin like out of silk and i could wear it! Yeay for no support! Haha. I tried on an anemone bra with a cute lace ( i saw it on two women on here who looked very cute in it, you can get it at wallmart) but i felt it was a bit small still. It is one size :P I think i got 8 bras from that company hopefully i will be able to wear them in a few weeks. Soo i am guessing i am somewhat between a german 80 D ( US 36 D) cup now, and will hopefully end up being a C.
Oh, my ribs are acking alot! And also the tummy area around there. I wonder why that is, i guess because of pulling on the muscles and nerves. I will ask my ps.
Underbust measurement pre-op 34-36 / 80 cm
Underbust today: 38 / 84 cm
Bust measurement pre-op 105 cm
Bust measurement post op 100 cm
Bust measurement today 98 cm
Bra-size two weeks post op, calculated with above
measures : US 36 D, EU 80 D
Painlevel: 1/10 just some stings here and there nothing bad
Scars: righty has a lot more scabs and is not as well as lefty. Everything seems to be healing well
Swelling: lefty 8/10 righty 8/10
Skin-Feel / Nerves: i feel more below the areolas and breastfolds, the skin feels like hypersensitive but only when touched.
Emotion: overall better than the last two days but still exhausted
... i just wanted to update you on that too as i forgot to mention it in the bigger update.
I can lift a 5 Kilo bag, i could embrace carefully and i could even clean the bathroom today ( except from the shower because of reaching with the arm ) BUT i still wouldn't want to lift up a Child and press it against my chest. They still hurt but it is not that, but the fact that incisions are fragile and i wouldn't want them to open up! Carrying a really small baby wouldn't be the problem i guess but everything bigger / heavier than 2-3 kilos.. no way ! I would still be too afraid !
... hm. I feel a little sad because i worry about my incision. I find that it looks like there is some necrotic tissue but it could also be a scab.. i am not sure. Checking on the pictures i definitly think it got a bit worse. I showered only a few minutes before taking those pics, so i guess it looks more red than it usually would look. After having the shower i found a little white suture poking through the outside margin of the areola. ;/. I will wait two days, because then i am going to see the Ps. Usually i would pull it but two weeks might be too early, so i will wait and see what he says.
I put steristrips back on the breasts and also some hepathromb-creme on the haematomas. It is with heparine ( breaking up haematomas and bloodclots ) and dexpanthenol. ( Helps with woundhealing ) I got that advice from a doctor i visited today, because i still have some really big areas of hardening under the skin and she said it should be the haematoma. I started to worry if it could be a fat-necrosis. She said she would like to look on my incision again to make sure it is not infected. So we share a concern. I wonder what my ps will say.
As i have been to the regular doctor, i also got an attest for time off work. My holiday ended last saturday and now i will stay home for the third week after the surgery. My doc already offered me two take another two weeks off instead of one but as always i feel too guilty for my coworkers.
I know they are going to support me but i fear anyway that i will do too much too early. We sell quite a few heavy things so i hope i will come around that. Now that i am worried about my incision i really hope everything will be fine and i can go back to work. I don't even want to think about having an open t-incision and working 10 hours standing.. We will see. Hopefully i worry too much.
Underbust measurement pre-op 34-36 / 80 cm
Underbust today: 38 / 84 cm
Bust measurement pre-op 105 cm
Bust measurement post op 100 cm
Bust measurement today 98 cm
Bra-size two weeks post op, calculated with above
measures : US 36 D, EU 80 D
Painlevel: 1/10 just some stings here and there nothing bad
Incisions/Scars: Lefty looks very good, except from one white stitch poking through the margin of the aerola. We will see what the ps says to that.
Righty has still very red incisions, a bigger scab or necrotic tissue (?) in the lower T, and now a little red "bump" on the incision. The wholes, where the blue sutures are poking through that have to be pulled, look red. The outer Suture really itches. I guess that will leave me with a little dogear.
Swelling: lefty 8/10 righty 8/10
Skin-Feel / Nerves: i feel more below the areolas and breastfolds, the skin feels like hypersensitive but only when touched. The same hypersensitivity is in the right nipple. No feel to the left, but slow reaction to touch.
Emotion: A bit down and sad today since i saw the incisions and worry that i will have an open T.
Breast of luck :) to everyone recovering and to those who are going to be on the smaller side soon!
Day 18 - and CELEBRATION !
Not much of a change one would say, BUT another centimeter has left the building! I lost another cm in my bust measurement!! Whoowhoo!! I don't know if you understand that but i am celebrating everyone of them because who knows how many and if i will loose any more ! This one cm does change the D Cup into a C cup!!!! hurray! ( well i don't know how accurate this is but i tried it on a few german and american websites, if it isnt, let me please think it was ! ) :))
I took two bromelain this morning.. so maybe this did the magical deswelling? I don't know! I don't care :P !
I have nothing else to add today really because it didn't change alot to yesterday. My incisions are covered with steristrips again and tomorrow i have the next appointment with my ps. I will let you know if there is something new!
I have a really strange pain in my right leg and i almost wasn't able to stand up or sit down properly. I guess i slept in a weird position or so. Btw, i think i will put the head of my bed down this evening and sleep horizontal ( except from the pillows propping me up a little )
For all of you who said that your backpain decreased or wasn't there anymore:
I cannot say that at the moment but there are reasons to that i assume. First, i didn't believe one moment that loosing these 1.3 kilos would change anything about my disc prolapses or compressed nerves in the lower back, but i did hope that my headaches and neck / upper backpain would go away. This didn't happent until now, but i am sure this is for a few reasons.
I still sit hunched a lot and walk not upright enough.. i still do it because i fear i could put the incisions under more pressure, i still do it because i am so used to it and changing it will be a process and three, sleeping in a 45 degree angle upright with pillows and not beeing able to sleep on the side wasn't so comfortable for my neck. Sooo i hope this will be changing soon but i didn't have that "yeay-back-pain-away" moment yet.
And something funny at least.. i thought i stop using dressings and get pantyliners instead... as i had read from some women who told that worked well. LOL. It didn't for me. I had these things everywhere but not on my nipples or incisions :DD
And buying them was fun too !! I usually don't like using pantyliners ( thank god for tampons ) at all so i don't buy them. I was SO overwhelmed by the different kinds and subforms of pantyliners that i thought i should do a slapstick about it or a comedy youtube video. Hell!! You can get them in thin, extra thin, big, bigger, Xtra Large, matrasses, flexible, hard, bio cotton, non cotton, for strings, in black, in white, in rose, in cute, in not-so-cute, in see-through, with xtra plastic wrap, without plastic-wrap, with prints, without prints, in small packages, in buy 2 get 5 ( so you don't runout of these for the next ten years ! )in non perfumed, in perfumed ( !!! Who the hell needs that liner perfumed!? It will be worse!! ??) I don't want to smell like i had a perfumery between my legs! Imagine that, sitting next to a men who is saying "wheew! that perfume is nice, let me check it on your neck!".. and you could just say, "one floor down, baby!" *lol* sorry sometimes my imagination is running wild with me :D I was laughing when i walked out of this drugstore to the hub who was patiently waiting before the store. I told him and he laughed :D Is it a wonder that men can get irritated if we send them to buy those things for us?
So, i am going to to my nails, read your reviews, watch movies after that and be lazy!
Suddenly in a lot more discomfort / pain
... For a few hours now my breasts really start to hurt overall. I guess i have some ovulation going on.. Man that is not nice! Like during the mens. I feel so sore, like the first time at all... :/
I recognized something else that is annoying buz today really uncomfortable. Drinking cold water is painful! I can feel every bit of water flowing down into my stomach and it feels like the cold goes through the whole inside of the breast. Feels weird. I have this since a few days but today it hurts a little.
And goosebumps / shivers... give me a little pain too. Like they cause an electrical jolt through the breast too. Not feeling very nice! Trying to sleep now
Boohoooohoooo, no stitches out ! :´(
I waited half an hour till it was time for me to go in ( as always ), the doc was very sweet and nice but i wasn't happy as he told me he would prefer to leave the stitches in until next wednesday. Grrr why did i even have that appointment again? My worry area on the right is nothing bad as he said. It should be healing, he even said i am healing really well and he is very positive about this result and seeing that we are both doing our best in minimizing scars. Oh yes, sir, i am =)
He said something irritating then, first, don't pull the white stitch or you make it worse. Ok, if i leave it in.. how long is it supposed to stand out of my areola?? He said if it gets longer and is irritating i should go to him and let HIM do something about it. Ok... why don't you do something NOW about it ? I am a picker. I can't look on things like that! I am not going to look at that for the next months without doing anything about it. I guess he just wants me to stay calm and wait because it is a bit early to pull something now. Yeah ok i can see it. BUT I HATE IT. Grrrrr!!! *biting in the table* Well ok it is not infected or read.. maybe i leave it. But i have a red bump that is red and i am sure it might open up soon. My doc said "now there will be a time where you can't do much but accept everything that comes.. and accept that it takes between 6 to 12 months so see the real result."
Did i already say i am not the most patient patient on earth? *haha*
No.. I asked him about going back to work and he said i shouldn't carry really heavy things at least for 6 weeks in total so that means i have to let my coworkers do the crappy work for three weeks.
Did i say that i am not good in watching others do the crappy stuff? I am always the one doing it first usually. I can't look at people working and try to relax. It is even the second time in about 7 years i am "ill"....i never am. I am always there, also with my head under my arm.
This will b difficult.
As i wrote yesterday evening ( or should i better say in this very early morning ? ) my breasts are soooo sore today ! It is like the worst i had since surgery. It -must- be the ovulation for sure. I expected it but measured anyway this morning and whoosh, my bust measurement went back to 99 cm ( i was 97 yesterday and very happy :D ). I told you i bought these anemone bras you can get fro walmart and i wanted to show it to you ( it is onesize and this feels so great to be able to fit in this that i want to share it ) I got it in a few colours =))
So it is not that i am crying that it is a bit more again because i know it will go back ( at some time )
My doc said today that it will give up and downs in swelling all the time and i shouldn't be bothered too much. No i won't. But these measures help me to see if it is a good or a bad day and i will continue to do this and allow myself to be swollen. Part of the process right? But i will all let you know about it, so you can guesstimate how much ups and downs you can expect and maybe see the way down to a final stop,.. to a final Cup.
Not final Cut. No. Maybe we better end this boobie-movie with " The Final Cup!" haha.. what a great idea. ok. I am beeing a bit difficult today.. so i will make myself some really nice and sweet calorie-bomb and watch a few series.
Underbust measurement pre-op 34-36 / 80 cm
Underbust today: 38 / 84 cm
Bust measurement pre-op 105 cm
Bust measurement post op 100 cm
Bust measurement today 99 cm
Pain: I am soooo sore, the breasts feel very hard again like i had implants. I feel like the areolas must burst open. It is very uncomfortable...
Incisions/Scars: Lefty looks wonderful, righty has still a few red parts and scabs.
Swelling: lefty 10/10 righty 10/10
Skin-Feel / Nerves: Hypersensitive skin allover the breast, righty nipple has feel the other none. Reaction to both.
Emotion: Craaaaeeeezy and bored and a little impatient today...
Boob - Interview with the future hub ( please don't read if sexual things disgust you :D
I just forgot something ( as always huh? )
I know that this is some intimate info, but i know very good how much we are all insecure about our boobs, pre op or post op. And i would have given a lot to read something encouraging in the "between woman and men" thing about boobs. I know that pre op i wondered and also feared how this surgery would change my future husbands view on me. I had a very nice moment today where i felt, it was all ok and worth it and i am going to share it.
The very first moment i got a compliment from my future hubby was at home, when i had my first shower and because i did not take off the compression bra in a standing position, this was the first time he could see the new girls in a more natural position. He had a very happy glance in his eye and looked at me like he would really enjoy touching his new friends :) He came near looked at them and said that i really look a lot different now that i am standing in front of him like this. That was it ( we behaved, i had my shower and he left me but i felt sexy ;)
After that there were a few times where he looked at them in clothing and he said he things they are still big enough ( which was a concern for me ) =) but also.. that my upper body looks so much longer now and he also sees my tummy more. ( yeah i do too...;/ ) And he is always teasing me with my tummy because it is the only part of my body i can be teased with i guess. That makes me even more aware of my kangarooh bag but.. anyways. When did you feel the bloating from the surgery went away completely? I wonder if i still am bloated or if i am just eating too much :)
So the reaason i wanted to write this is: Today after having my shower i layed down only with a panty on because he should help me putting cream back on the haematoma and put the bra back on. That was another time where he was really happy and staring at me like i was some deer he wanted to hunt ;D I asked him then what he liked about the new me and if he things it was worth it. And then he said, well, a really hughe difference is, that while laying down, my boobs are still perky standing up and looking very sexy. And i saw that it was a bit difficult for him to admit, because he feared he could insult me by not having liked the old ones as much as the new ones.
Of course the "old" ones were hanging down at my sides like some ugly sandbag..but i didn't think a minute about how that look would be so much different for him. I don't look at my self that way of course, having this bra an 24/7 just makes it even more difficult to feel normal. But this morning was the first time that i realized, yeah.. this will be different! He also said that he is a bit sad that he won't have the girls so near to him anymore while having a special position. And i said how could you ever find this attractive? I might have knocked you out with them *hahaha* but i said i am sure they will look more attractive from below too ;D He said, there are a few beneficials from this :) Another one he said is, that i will now feel good in wearing more sexy tops and showing more cleavage :)
He really likes squeezing them together while embracing me from behind, and i wonder when this will be possible again? Maybe there is some lady here who can give me a hint when this works again ;)
So lovely world wide web and lovely NSA, what does YOUR partner like about you ? *haha*
i have not much to tell at the moment because there was not much of a change. Like is said, when i had my ovulation i was in real discomfort for three days and it was worse than anytime since surgery, but after the three days everything was fine. On Monday i will have to go back to work :/
It is not that i would love to, to be honest.. I really like beeing home.
My scars are healing nicely. Righty catches up a little and is not so read on the incision parts anymore. Now that lefty is less swollen, it looks a litte more boxy than it did at the beginning. I guess that is why they wore so swollen and perky that i didn't recognize the boxness. As i have seen on many pictures here i know that this will soon pass and everything should be fine. I am still quite swollen around my ribcage, which i find kind of really impressive ! I am still 84 cm ( was 80 pre surgery ) I didn't think that swelling would be there at all. I assumed it would just be the breast and the sides but not underneath the breastfold. Anyway. This will go away and i don't mind it.
I still feel and see a difference between the two breasts but until now it is not so obviously looking at them frontal. I just see it when i lay down. Tomorrow i will shower and change the steristrips and i will update with pictures then. It doesn't make so much sense to show you everything taped up because you won't see any incisions.
I hope you are all well and healthy, good luck to all who are going in soon and happy healing to the rest of you :)
Going back to work todax
So, first day of work today, i will tell you later how i felt in the evening! I hope you are all well and fine! I couldn't sleep last night, made an attempt to lay on my side but feared too much to destroy something. I recognised that i can press the hubs head against my breast while hugging him as he sat at the computer :P
Will check on everyone later xoxo
Underbust measurement pre-op 34-36 / 80 cm
Underbust today: 38 / 84 cm
Bust measurement pre-op 105 cm
Bust measurement post op 100 cm
Bust measurement today 98 cm
Bra-size two weeks post op, calculated with above
between US 36 D, EU 80 D and US 36 C, EU 80 C
Painlevel: 1/10 just discomfort around the breastfold incisions, mostly at the outer edge on righty because the suture pulls on my skin there, can't wait until wednesday to get the sutures out.
Incisions/Scars: lefty seems to be fully closed, righty has still the healing part in the lower T, the scab did not come off yet and still two red parts that are healing. Sadly there is some skin on top of the circle of the left areola that looks like excess skin that makes it not look round. The ps said he can do something about it without a big deal later. I will have to ask him why later. The sutures start to grow in my skin which concerns me a little.
Swelling: lefty 8/10 righty 8/10
I wonder when that implant feel goes away, i think i would like it to be a bit less.
Skin-Feel / Nerves: the nipples have both a bit of a feeling ( lefty catched up a little) but i am far away from hypersensitivity there! I feel the touch of the skin on the whole breast but not so much on the still bruised parts
Emotion: overall good
For those who have to care for toddlers, i guess i could carefully lift a 1 year old now.
Depressed and frustrated
.... I was checking on bras today. I thought i am almost four weeks and i should give it a try. Yes i was swollen at my sides a lot also due to work today but, i held a few bra cups on the breast from a few different brands and i can tell there is nooo way i would swell down to a C. I don't get it really. I measured myself before the surgery and had 105 cm bust above and 80 cm underbust and when i checked a bra calculator website with these, the result was completely right. Now i thought with the new measures it should be alright too. I checked my new numbers and found out on different sites it should be a full C.
Now even if i consider that there is no regulation in cupsizes and every company varies i was never ever a C Cup. I did even slightly spill out of 80 D's ( US 36 D)
So i guess i might fit in E's the best, but i didn't try one to not break out in tears or anger.
Yes i have a wonderful shape, and if i end up being a D it would be ok but not an E! I did want a C, also because i fear they grow back..
I am so sad. Yes i still feel they are swollen ( i can tell because the sides are very thick and sideboobish swollen today) more than yesterday. I see that my underbust is still 4 cm bigger than before and also swollen. I do have some bruises but i cannot believe i will end up a C or small D right now. Usually most women seem to have their final cup size around week three / four. I know some of you said it is not about numbers, but for me it was.. I did never want to have that problem feel to brashopping again. If i end up staying an E.. that would not make me happy.
Thank you for your wishes.. My day at work wasn't bad, i just felt some stinging here and there on the incisions but i am swollen alot now ( mostly on the sides). The worst is the back pain i have now, at home i couldn't stand straight anymore. The pain is so strong.. I feel like i must break in two.. and goes from my lower back into my knees. The knees feel like they are pulsating.. I guess having not so much movement three weeks and standing about 12-13 hours was a bit much for my disc prolaps and compressed nerves.
I am laying in bed now, licking my wounds and trying to sleep early.
Confessions - Brasizes and Expectations
I read all your wonderful comments and i calmed down a good bit because of you! Because i didn't have a lot time i couldn't reply to everyone yet. Thanks for having you as my boobie-family!.. I am sure without you all getting me to the realisric ground it might have been a lot worse..
So i did the same failure everyone does ( it seems) you read about emotional Rollercoaster, you read about cupsizes and how everything swells and deswells during the weeks after surgery, you know you told your surgeon what you want and you think you are prepared enough NOT to make the brafitting failure. Wrong!
Ok now that i stepped into the same whole as others did before me, to my fellow pre-op blogreaders here :) let me give you the same advice i ignored *haha*
I do infact love my new boobs, i like the size of them, if i look at them frontal, from above, i can live with a slightly bigger right because it was bigger before, i love the size when i put my hands around them. My hubby loves them too and also likes very much the perky cleavage, i like the shape they have, i can wear clothes i never could, i can feel comfortable in my own skin and hopefully have an improved sexlife ( cannot tell yet :D)
So why again was i so frustrated about not being a C Cup eventually?
I did have this expectation..and did myself no good with it. Because as Momo said, you never wanted to have trouble finding a beautiful bra in your size again.
You know what, if the - only - thing after surgery is that i don't like bra shopping, then may it be!
I don't like shopping for jeans either. Hah!
And as so many of you said maybe in a few weeks the bras fit differently and maybe i will start with bra companies i had before. So just in case you decide not to listen and try on bras anyway try to check a bra model you had before because that is the only way you will notice that it fits different. I am not doing this again for the next 10 weeks.
After that i might try on an underwire again!
I do love and honor you all for being part of my journey :X
I will get the damn stitches out in about 10 Minutes and somehow i believe it will hurt. Will talk to you soon
*~Warning~* Only for Ladies who had the surgery already ! ( and better have the stitches out already too! ) *~not for anxious or
Ok. Now. I am still not sure if i tell you because i don't want anyone to freak out. So.. if you are easily in panic please do yourself a favor and don't read any further!! You shouldn't doubt anything because i had a, let me say, not so nice experience which isn't happening too often ( i guess..)
Whew. When my PS pulled the suture out of my lefty, the sweet and nicely healed breast of mine, i thought, "well, if that's it, it's easy going!" it didn't hurt much when he pulled. It was just a bit uncomfortable as he tried to get on the lightly ingrown suture. And i would say the inner point near the cleavage felt the most sensitive.
But on the right...
Could you have told me that a bit earlier please??? I would have preferred to get a numbing injection!!
Damn! Hell! This was absofu**elutely the nastiest pain i had so far! He had difficulties in getting the grip of the suture ( and i felt some pain from getting the first grown in knot, but as he pulled the first bit.. ( i had three to go) It felt like he ripped me open. He had to do it again on the outside which was the worst because he had to pull so hard it is unimaginable. It really felt like i must bleed but i didn't. What was then, much even worsererererer (! i just invented a new word for it ) was the vertical line between areola and breastfold. I can't tell what hurt more! I am still shocked a bit how difficult it was. The ps said "you see on the other was no problem but the right has definitely more ingrown".
I was SO proud that i didn't scream or yell or hit him ( sorry if you read this doc ;) it was the worst a doctor did to me so far. Really. But i haven't been seriously ill until now so i guess i was blessed.
Ok. DONE. I was wondering for a moment if i should have asked my Ps if he still thinks that you can leave them in for months (!) because they are so good end expensive. He told me that the last time we saw eachother where i was mouring i wouldn't want them in any longer...I guess i am not sharing this opinion of leaving them in a little moooore, hehe..
Ok what else.
My Prof, Doc, Ps was very nice to me ( except from that ) we had a nice chat and he took his time with me and i really appreciate it alot! It does take a big effect in the aftercare and one reason i would always go back to him is because of that. He told me that he had someone shown my blog already and that i helped that women because she knew she was in good hands. I do feel very happy about it and i hope this will help even more women. There is nothing better than talking to the ones who have it done and seeing what they are showing. There can't be much more honesty and credibility. ( I believe )
So official update for everyone :) ( also for the milk-toasts ? chickens ? yellowbellies? )
What are these names o0? If i would try to translate a nice german word for "coward" then it would be "anxietybunny" lol. Anyway, after i got my stitches out my PS said i am free tzo put silicon sheeting on. He was so raving about the "cica-care" silicone pads from nephew & Johnson, that i do in fact -not order- the ones for breastreduktion ( Mastopexy Silicone Sheets ) that you can already get in the right shapes from Scar-away and others. I will have a 12x15 cm pad and i will cut it for my needs. I trust my ps. We will se, huh?
I see more areas where stitches may be poke through soon. I had one spitting out and i pulled it out with a tweezer, carefully as far as i safely could and cut it back. There was no way i could have pulled it completely and i hope the wound will close now because i saw that through the miniwhole it was a little wet. ( I hope my doc doesn't read this ) I put desinfection on it.
My steristrips made problems today, my breast is irritated because i pulled them off twice this day which wasn't a good idea. ( Just do it under the shower and not dry and you will be fine! )
As my ps took he scab of my T on the right off i was a bit concerned at first, but the wound is dry and it should be ok. The ps said it might go away with a scar but i don't mind it. He will change the areola which is slightly uneven on the left and maybe also my two little dogears ( incision "ends" ) in a few months when everything is completely healed.
Oh and i still don't regret this surgery btw, i did get cold feet for a few days before surgery @Tat
but every night i was getting ready for sleeping and i had to take off the bra and unleash the saggy misery, i knew i would take -anything but smaller- to be relieved!!! Do it!!
Underbust measurement pre-op 34-36 / 80 cm
Underbust today: 38 / 84 cm
Bust measurement pre-op 105 cm
Bust measurement post op 100 cm
Bust measurement today 97 cm ( steady for two or three days now )
Bra-size two weeks post op, calculated with above
between US 36 D, EU 80 D and US 36 C, EU 80 C
Painlevel: 1/10 just discomfort around the breastfold incisions, my skin is irritated from the steristrips today, i didn't put them back on. Just bepanthene-creme on them and heparine creme for the bruised part.
Incisions/Scars: My Ps took off the scab at my lower T- on the right. It did hurt a lot! But it looks clean and is dry underneath, even if it looks yellowish. I have a few areas that could be stitches coming to the surface, Lets see how this will turn out.
Swelling: lefty 7/10 righty 7/10
Skin-Feel / Nerves: the nipples have both a bit of a feeling ( lefty catched up a little) but i am far away from hypersensitivity there! I feel the touch of the skin on the whole breast but not so much on the still bruised parts ( no change ! )
Emotion: overall good
Meds: still taking arnica and staphysagria, as long as i am not fully healed. I still take the bromelain too.
4 weeks 5 days
My T-point area had an up-and-down phase during the weekend. On one evening i could pull out a small suturepart with knot. And yesterday a 2 cm suture. I hope it will heal now. The pictures are showing the problem parts. A slightly blueish looking fine scar, a little dog ear and a bit of ripped off skin on the breast / red marks ( from the steristrips) a little whole that doesn't seem to reveal the suture underneath yet.
The T seems to be healing now but i am not sure about it. It looks a lot nastier after having showered. I did some pictures so you can see how bad it looked on Saturday, and wet after a shower and then how it looked completely dry and good only one day later. The red marks from the steristrips : i wonder how my skin came off with the strips because i removed them under the shower, but it seems that after four weeks of permanently wearing them, my skin has enough.
I started with selfcut cicacare-silicone sheets. It was a real pain in the ass to put them on and i wonder how long i will be doing it. They do stick well but i believe it would be easier with the sheets you can buy from scar away. I just realised yesterday how fed up i am with looking after my boobs. I would love to just put a bra on and not have to care for incisions anymore. :/ But of course i don't want to destroy the good results so i will try to kick myself in the butt.
Just do yourself a favor and buy silicone sheets that are already formed for mastopexy scars ( breastreduction) !!
I feel very good and quite back to normal except a few things. If i lift my left arm very high i feel some painful tugging on the outer part of my incision where the "dogear" is. I believe another woman here had the same problem. I am not sure about it but it feels like as if my muscle strings are sued together with the scar on the outer part of lefty. I hope i am wrong i am just wondering why it occures now, after 4 and a half weeks.
I wonder why i don't have that on my right side. Lefty seems to be very well healed except from this. I don't see any suture spitting going on there.
I have no pain during the day or work, just touching them firmer hurts. I still have a shadowy looking area where the big and almost black haematoma was. I still do have some hardening under the skin there and i am afraid it won't go away. If it is a dat necrosis i wonder what my surgeon is going to do because on the pictures you see that my skin is really rippled due to the stretch marks but also because of the hardening. I have stretch marks in lefty too but you see nothing there.
My breast measurement goes between 98 and 97 cm. In the morning right after coming out of bed they are more swollen than in in the evening. That still makes me a C / D Cup. The underbust is still around 83/84 cm. On the pictures you can see that i look proportioned. I think if i went smaller it might have been too small for my frame.
My compression bra from the hospital is already worn out / or too big. After a few hours the band is too loose and often ends up cutting in the skin of my incisions or breastfold. The marena b2 i really love, is still a bit too small but the material doesn't wear out and stays stretchy and the band sits perfectly where it should. Not ON the incisions.
But anyways i am fed up with wearing the compression bras.. Really i do want to wear sexy stuff now.. I guess you can feel it through my words. I am annoyed and impatient with the healing.
I have to kick my butt for another two weeks and then i am allowed to wear anything without wires. Hurray.
I already saw what some of you experienced. My scars got a bit more red the last days, but then they seem to change back into normal. As some said, the scars get worse because they get better. I hope the sheets will help with that.
I will do a little summary for those who aren't willing to read through my whole diary ;) so please don't be annoyed to read it over and again. I won't update so often now so maybe my blog won't be much longer. I asked Realself if they could find a way to show things cropped but i got the answer you are directed to the entry you click on in an email directly. ( that wasn't what i had hoped for but i don't think it makes sense two open up another account now, because i won't post so much anymore? ) what do you think?
Summary after almost 5 weeks
( maybe tooo boring for the continuously reading blog followers i have ;)
Confection size 10-12 ( blouses prior to surgery were 14-16!)
Size Bust, hip, waist now 98-81-97
Planned Cupsize: US 36 B which is a german 80 C. ( correct me if I'm wrong)
Start Cupsize US 36 DDD / E,
(German 75-80 G)
End Cupsize approx. US 36 C,
German 80 D/ ( maybe big C)
Amount of Gramms taken out: approximately
630 gr on the left and about 750 gr on the right but i don't have the exact numbers yet.
Bust before surgery 105 cm
Right after surgery 100 cm
Today between 98-97 cm
Underbust prior to surgery 80 cm
Right after surgery 85 cm
Today 83-84 cm
Meds i took prior to surgery :
-75mg L-Thyroxin for hypothyroidism
-Arnica ( in preparation, on day of the surgery! )
-Vitamin C intake higher through fresh made hot lemon tee one week prior
Meds i took after the surgery :
-Arnica ( wounds, hematoma)
-Staphysagria ( for thin scars )
-1000mg Bromelain ( swelling )
-Ibuprofen 800mg till 7th day three times a day
-Basica ( acid-base-balance)
-75mg L-Thyroxin for hypothyroidism
I slept propped up in my bed about three weeks, i could sleep relatively flat again after that but didn't because of my back problems
Treatment of the incisions:
Change of the dressings morning and evening, spraying desinfection over incisions, waiting half a minute then pad dry with fresh dressing and blowdry if steristrips are on.
No cremes the first 7 days. I was cleared to shower on day 7. ( Did sponge bathing and washcloths helped ;) ) I did the disinfection and dressing change after every shower of course. I change the steristrips every time after the shower, every second day.
After 7 days i used rescue-cream on the haematomas. My ps told me i could put heparine creme on to help with the haematomas instead.
After 14 days i used dexpanthenol creme on the healed incisions once, sometimes twice a day. Right over and in between the steristrips but not on the outer edges! My ps told me to only put it on closed skin to prevent that bacteria could grow in wounds due to the fat in the cream.
After 14 days i started using heparine creme on the haematomas and hardenings because i wasn't sure if the rescue creme did enough.
After 14 days i got my stitches around the areola out.
After three and a half weeks i got the other stitches out.
I used steristrips for four weeks and started with silicone sheets from the company Nephew & Johnson, "cicacare" right after.
I wear my compression bra 24/7 since day one till week six.
1: Marena "B2" ( buy it at least one/ two bandsizes larger than you are prior to surgery!!)
2: Modell Yesmina from
from "design veronique" ( i got this one from the hospital and it was very comfy but i wouldn't buy it because the band slips up to high above the incisions)
At three weeks I went back to a 40 hrs full-time job where i am standing, walking the whole day and also have to carry around things. I didn't feel pain nor was i very exhausted.
I could sleep on my side around week three and a half.
One of my best friends for the next weeks
I got a wireless bra to have something to be even more happy about, because i can start wearing it next week. Hurray!
It is a german 80 D which is a US 36 C ( i always have difficulties with these size differences! ) it fit well, but i guess in a few months i am happy to go back to wireless. I feel more support with wires somehow, maybe it is that i am so used to it? The best thing on trying this bra on was, that the band on my back stayed where its supposed to be and not in my damn neck! Ha! And also i didn't have to adjust the straps! I just did it for fun! I was used to push the "strap-regulators" ( i can't think of a better description of what i mean right now, ;) to the tightest.
So. I hope you lovely ladies are all well and healthy. Nurse Raboobsel goes around now *hehe*
I meant i will be happy to go back to have bras with wires. Not wireless.
Please Realself let me edit my writing. :(
Taty made my day :)
Oh noooo--- i don't know how but my message got lost and i have to rewrite it!! ;(
Tatyana !! Thank you sooo soo much! When i had a look into my postbox today and i saw the little and thick envelope my heart jumped ;)) She was so sweet to send me two bali bras ( who everyone here seems to be raving about :D ) in really wonderful colours. First i couldn't believe why she ( or anyone from realself ) would want to send me something as a gift, but when i accepted it, the joy about it was tremendous :) I am so happy because it is not just the gift that came to me by postage but all the effort she put into it and i feel warmed by friendship. :)
I really feel we are friends in minds and hearts and i really wish i had her and all of you around me.
It is not about knowing everything about eachother to feel that way ( usually i would have said it is impossible to be friends, without that knowledge ) BUT, we feel the same way as women and this connects and binds us together. Some reallife"-friendships can't get to that point. Btw it was very sweet how my daughter was hopping around like a little squirrel for nuts because she thought she might get a nice stamp from overseas. It was in fact not a "regular" stamp so she asked if Tat had a daugher who she could be "penpal/letterfriends" with. Haha!
( she collects stamps because i gave her the old collection of her great grandfather and it is really sweet that she developes interest in that )
She is having the surgery today if i don't mix up the time difference again, let's send her warm thoughts and may her surgery be quick and easy and the healing without problems!
I know i said it before but thank you all for your ears, words and kindness. I feel like i have some new friends here., "Taty","blessing","colorado","Tam","Happily","Ava"," Fitgirl", "JennyD..", "momo..", "BecuP" "Tashaak","cinnamon".. there are so many of you and even more ! I wish i could do more but all i can do is send you a warm hug!
Everyone going in, or waiting, or healing, i am thinking of all of you and keep in mind the last picture!
Just short and quick,
My underbust measure just deswelled alot in the last few days. I am 81 cm now, so almost back to normal :) hurray ! The bust measure is still 97cm. I don't believe it is going down anymore..
6 weeks and some irritation about amounts taken out
I just made you a nice and "sweet" picture story about the opening of my T-Junction. It is not that these are the prettiest pictures so far but i hope to help anyone with the same problem. It does take a while to heal for these areas because there is so much pressure and tension on this part, so i had a steristrip over the part to not cause further pulling on the skin. My PS took the scab off when my sutures at the T where pulled out around week 3. It seems almost closed now. But i had to get rid of a suture that was about 2 cms long and another shorter one that was causing the irritation and was the reason why it couldn't heal. I didn't put any creams on it, and kept it dry. I just had a dressing on it all the time. Everytime i changed it, one time a day, i had yellow scab coming off with it. This is fibrin, and no pus. It is good for closing wounds but if produced too much can prevent the wound from healing faster. So the last few days, when i had a shower and the fibrin was wet, i took it of with a tweezer very carefully and put desinfection on. Now everything is fine.
Yesterday i called the office of my ps to get a new date for a checkup and the secretary told me that the histologic reports came back fine and everything was normal. So far so good, as i haven't received the surgery report yet.. i still didn't get the exact number about how many gramms have been taken out. So i asked her and she said that in the report was something mentioned about 400 gr something from each side.
The ps said about 700 on right and 600 on left.. I really tried to calm down again. Yes i am happy with my size right now.. but none of the less, I am quite sure i will be a D instead of a C. It fits my frame, yes. But we are not talking about some wood surplus, but about my breasts for gods sake. I got the bill yesterday and so i am a little unhappy that six weeks after my surgery i am left with -guessing- I wrote a little message to the ps and hopefully i have the medical report soon and can answer your question. I am sure they don't have a clue why i, and you, want to know this. It is important to know for comparison and also says a lot about end cupsizes. That is what we all ask for right?? I don't think here is anyone NOT wanting to be able to guess how they will come out of a surgery ( as far as this can be derived and in consideration that everybody is a little different and fat has a different density than tissue or skin. )
So... everything else is finde. The breast has indentations all over when i take off the silicone sheets so there still is some swelling going on. I do find that righty deswelled a bit and catched up with lefty. I still have a hard lump on my right where the big haematoma was. My gynaecologist said i shouldn't massage it. I will have to ask the ps about it.
I have been to my gynaecologist yesterday to check on my smear again.. She explained that they will now check if and what type of hpv i will have and if the smear is still not normal.
I am worried alot and anxious. Even if i keep telling myself i am beeing monitored. Doesn't help so much. This will be a hell of a week of waiting for the results.
When god.. or..
.. Whomever it was, who created me, he put my heart into my stomach instead of my chest. Everytime i worry, it hurts. Or maybe it delivers from the "Highcarb" fun i had yesterday evening. Hazelnuts chocolate revenge. And worries mixed together. Fructose intolerance is not an illness, it's an assh*le.
Happy Women's Day!
:) i hope you all had a nice day, my hub was really sweet. He surprised me and my two coworkers with a really beautiful rose for everyone :) he is such a sweetheart! And the picture my boss got from a friend and i thought it was really funny :)
Steristrips i used
11 Mar 2014
2 months post
For curvey who asked me for the brand. In the sachet are two of the long sheets. I always cut them in two, so in total you have 20 stripes in one package. You can also use the long stripe for the breastfold. On the packaging you find the website of the brand too. Xo Sweeties, back to work i go
11 Mar 2014
2 months post
3M is the name of the stripe company
Scars get worse before they get better... Right?!
14 Mar 2014
2 months post
.. I am a little disappointet again, please ignore me, i just write this in my "boob diary to vent a little, i know i am maybe to picky, too impatient, too whatever.
I just took some pictures of what i call a little setback. Sure i would love to say, yeay, everything is going just so well on the healing journey... but no.. i feel i need to tell you from another bump in the road which i find very annoying.
My scars look worse on the left. Why? I am really sure they looked better a while ago. I added a picture to compare the difference. My nipple on the left ( picture right ) is still not in the same nice shape as the other. It looks smaller because i have a bigger nipple on this side as it looks. It also looks like its starting to point outward. I don't like it ;(
My lump that was under the inner part of the right booby ( direction of cleavage area ) is still there but still has become smaller. My breasts settled alot the last days. They feel so much softer and i feel alot less pamela-anderson-ish. Which is very nice, i feel more natural. I can't imagine i could live with having implants. It really didn't feel nice at all and it was just tissue. Well good that it is availabe for those who have no breasts at all.
I have been to my ps again. He didn't spent so long talking this time because he had an operation to do, but that was ok for me. He had a good look at the boobs and he was obviously happy with his results. I was too, except the areola. I told him i was a full 36 D ( American 36 C ) but even if i had planned to be smaller, i would be happy with the size. Well that is not true in total. I am happy with the size at my body, but i am not happy with buying bras in that size because it reminds me of big boobs and i don't want to feel that big. ( Does anyone understand this ? ) It is a bit weird. Maybe like buying clothes in XL even if you feel like your body is a size S.
The ps told me that during the surgery, it is a bit difficult to guarantee even areolas, because they have to be ruffled somehow while they are sewn on. And we could change something about it in a year. Not happy with this. At all. Well, i asked him why but he said he is not going to do it earlier. ( i should have asked why but on the other hand it is logical.. if the breast is fully healed in one year and he revises something in 6 months, it could be too early and things might change again )
Well. Ok. I guess he knows what he does.. huh? . He smiled about my little mourning about areola, and my scars beeing red.. and my dogears.. and i could see that he didn't take me very seriously because he said to my hub, he could see that i am a little perfectionist who is impatient. Well, that weren't his exact words but. yes.. i know there are women with a lot more difficulties and maybe i should be just happy. Why aren't i then? I guess women who read this and are going to have surgery.. keep in mind.. that even if you are thinking you are going to have perfect results, you will always find things to be unhappy about. There might be no such perfect result. Someone on realself already said it, we have to accept that everyone who had a BR has little things that aren't perfect afterwards. I guess that is true. The strange about this is, that i thought i was ready for these imperfections. I guess i am not. And i need to kick myself in the butt to be more patient.
I still use the silicone sheets and i plan to wear them as long as they stick. My ps said i should wear them 5 months.. but first, it is very, very annoying and i really want to feel normal again and the other thing is, that some other surgeons say that silicone sheets are then helpful, when used on people who have the tendency to have hypertropic or kelloid scars. That is not the case here. I have very thin and good scars as it seems except from the redness that they have now. I read that the sheets should be worn at least 2 Months to be helpful. So..I wear them four weeks now and i can't wait to the day where i can throw them away.
What else... my ps said the swelling went down a really great amount and he asked me what i am doing for it. I wasn't sure if the question was a real question or just to comfort me i was doing well. ( Yes i am kind of questioning people a lot.. ) I told him i would still use the bromelain. I got a bit lazy with arnica and staphysagria lately maybe because i am so fed up with taking something. #
I slept two nights without bra in a nice cami and i really felt good. Maybe i am doing this more often now. Sleeping on the side is heaven on earth. I don't feel uncomfortable at all. Just pressing my boobs on the back of my hub while cuddling up from behind is still making me a little nervous but works.
I am kind of in a no-choci-depression. I guess people with low / now carb diets turn into some aggressive beasts around week two. I don't feel like i want a social life atm i don't know why. Tired as hell too. As i am going through the pictures i wanted to show you how bad it is now. i really see that i am overreacting again. It is clearly getting better.. and yes.. maybe the right is a bit more red.
Wtf. I don't care. Well, at least i don't try to.
Goodbye diary, talk soon.
I hope you are all well !
Boxyness change from another person in three months!
14 Mar 2014
2 months post
Just to give hope to those who have some boxyness at the beginning, i think this is an incredible change.
( That's not me! )
30 Mar 2014
2 months post
Hey Ladies... i am sorry i didn't update earlier.
To be honest, i am a little fed up with the boob topic at the moment. Maybe because i didn't do anything else for half a year (!!) then reading daily on realself and looking through so many pictures and reviews. I feel i need to go back to normal somehow.. also because i had some other things to think about and it really feels good not to be so overboobled in my mind *haha*. But i think of some of you on a regular basis =) and i am curious how you are doing, so i will check on everyone now!
My bust measurement didn't change anymore from 98 cm / 97 cm.
So 9 weeks post op, i am still a german 80 D. ( US 36 C ) I am more "friends" with them, i like the size ( finally !! ) and i feel it fits to my body frame. It was very nice to hear from my family too, that they believe i look a lot more in proportion now :)
My scars are still a bit strange, they look good / ok if i wear the silicone sheets. If i take them off for one or two days they start looking more red. The scar in the breastfold on the left starts to get a little red and thicker. I wonder if this is temporarily and i look a bit anxious on that..
I wanted to stop using the sheets after 8 weeks wearing them for 24/7 . But due to this redness change i am not yet sure what i will do.
Some of you know that i had a little trouble with my My Pap smear..three months ago. Well after another three months it is still the same, Pap3d. Well... and we found out i have the HPV Virus 16, which is one of the most aggressive virus types and is known to cause cancer. So. In three months we will have another look and then we will see what has to be done. Hopefully everything will be fine. A relative told me she was in the worst pain during the biopsy because she didn't get any aneasthesia. Now i am a little freaked out!
I hope you are all fine and healthy! I am really worried about Tatyana.. she didn't write anymore for a while and i really hope everything is alright!
Amounts taken out !! Finally!!
30 Mar 2014
2 months post
It was a lot less then my surgeon first told me !!
The histology came back fine and the amount taken out of left was about 400 gramm and 430 from the right. So not so much.. but i had more dense tissue and not much fat in my breast.
In the end i think my size is good. So i don't care about that anymore!
Rashes from the bali bra
30 Mar 2014
2 months post
Idon't know why, but when i wear my bali comfort revolution bra in M, i get rashes under my breastfolds on both sides and it is itching and lasts a while. I didn't think it was the bra first, but after i wore it yesterday i got these itchiness again and it looks flakey and bumpy a bit! :( Anyone else who has this?
14 Jun 2014
5 months post
I have been off this Website for quite a while now and i really enjoy not to think about my boobs all the time anymore :) I deleted the fotos, because someone told me, that they could be found on google picture searches and i didn't like it. I am working on my own website so i can take off my pictures, edit my text and also do something against people who steal my pictures. I will update with the website name as soon as possible, though i guess realself won't allow me to post it here.
I am feeling really well and i think except the fact that my boobs are a little different in size, and my areola is not perfect, i have tiny little dogears ( planned to be corrected maybe next year in january ) i love my new boobs completely. My scars are still a bit red between areola and breastfold, but the breastfold looks very good ! I did loose 2 Kilosgrammes but i am still 5 Kilos away from where i want to be =/ I miss you all.. i will look for your reviews =) I will just add three pictures for the people who have no idea what i look like now, but it could be that i delete it soon too.
I hope you are all well ! Take care!