I never thought i would be one to regret a tattoo...

I never thought i would be one to regret a tattoo and yet here I find myself regretting and hating myself for it. To start I have multiple tattoos, the others I love and am happy with.

I have one tattoo on the upper portion of my right arm of a koi, water and a banner reading "cure SMA", also in that tattoo are leaves that were supposed to make the piece look lifelike, as if we were watching this koi swim. Anyways the leaves were placed in a line and it bothered me but I never regretted it. I just knew I wanted to fix/touch up the tattoo and cover up those leaves... Well I plan to meet with an artist that did other work for me, we had such an amazing idea but the day of the tattoo I realize we are doing something different. It was an entirely new piece... So instead of just focusing on the one I had we started the outline of something new... This new outline is 12 by 6 inches made with all black Kuro Sumi ink.

Right away I freaked out and my anxiety took over. I cried over this so many times and finally searched removal options. This tattoo was placed November 7th and two weeks later I had my consultation.

I chose Dr. tattoff because all the searching I did led me to them. The consultation went great. They did an amazing job of calming me and explaining everything to me. I was quoted at 10 treatments. But since the tattoo was so we needed to wait which I agreed to... This again started the anxiety and fear that I have to keep living with it there...

I then received a random but wonderful call from their office saying they were offering an end of the year sale to new patients and my treatments would be $1200 for ALL 10!!! I jumped on that right away and paid it that day... Still waiting since I couldn't get treated...

Today, was my first treatment... They numbed the entire area, explained after care, and the nurse (jennifer) explained the process... The had such a calming voice too it made me feel comfortable... She gave me my goggles and did the test first, and OUCH!!! But totally bearable, I took 2 breaks, and then was bandaged up and has ice packs put on it...

So today marks the start of this long journey ahead but I am ready... March 22nd is my next appointment l...


I decided to start this review because for one I am Hispanic and therefore naturally tan and most blogs were of really light skinned people... So maybe this can give insight to us darker pigmented people... :)

It's now Monday, first day after treatment and the...

It's now Monday, first day after treatment and the days since my arm was swollen pretty bad... It was bruised, and I have tiny blisters...

Today the swelling has nearly subsided, and the blisters are still tiny and not so painful...

I see some break up of lines In certain places which is very exciting!!!!

The ibuprofen has helped SO much with the...

The ibuprofen has helped SO much with the swelling, my arm has function again...

I'm starting to scab it looks like, I keep my extra moist all the time but still the outlines are getting tough... I'm thinking they are scabs forming from the blisters drying out...

I am drinking aloe, sleep as often a possible, eat my 3 meals as healthy as I can, drink a multivitamin, fish oil, and vitamin c daily... My Arm is still bruised, but totally healing... I see the break up of lines on the corners already which is awesome, ill try to get pics of it...

Overall the moments of being uncomfortable and pain sucked but I'm ready to get this over with...

I think I'm on the tail end or healing... I'm so...

I think I'm on the tail end or healing... I'm so greasy with ointment yet it still feels so itchy and like tiny scabs...

Ill update a picture in a couple weeks... It's hard to get a picture or the break up of lines when it's all greasy... Lol!

Well at this point looks like the site has healed,...

Well at this point looks like the site has healed, some very tiny places still peel but its smooth again for the most part... The tattoo looks fuzzy, well the dark bold lines I had don't look bold and sharp anymore... Which I assume its a good thing... Next appointment isn't for awhile and I wasn't expecting a miracle, I know it's a long
Process... At this point I need to keep myself and my body healthy to continue to clean up the ink until the next appointment

I haven't forgotten about this review just not...

I haven't forgotten about this review just not much else to say about the first treatment, since the lines were bold, dense, and deep only a few areas have broken up but it's not noticeable enough to capture it
In a picture... Next appointment march 22... So patience is virtue! :)

Just as I start to panic, I pray that I get...

Just as I start to panic, I pray that I get patience to carry through this... The location of my huge tat is an obvious place that has made me so self consious I have told really no one about it and I have hidden behind long sleeves, I also ordered a tattoo cover for my arm... Lol! My mom, brother, boyfriend all know but not many outsiders close to me... I want to give this process time, and it helps me not to look at it... Although I planned that if I need long sleeves, then I at least need shorts for summer ( I never really wore any)... So that being said I have hired a health and fitness coach... Beginning Monday I will be working out everyday and eating clean! I'm hoping this change in lifestyle will also boost my immune system to fight this ink!! :)

It's one of those nights I'm panicking and can't...

It's one of those nights I'm panicking and can't sleep, 2:15 am here and I work at 730am... :( I'm so scared and stressed... I almost feel like the tattoo is slightly scarred and scared that laser will make it worse, but my boyfriend reminds me it's also thick lines so may just appear that way... One thing the tattoo "artist" did was burn the tip of the needle, he said it was to widen it... So hence wide bold lines... I pray i see more fading this next treatment... I saw TINY differences this first one, so I know the ink will respond I just don't know how we'll... :/ praying for patience, peace, courage and health!

It's my turn... Hopefully session two gives me...

It's my turn... Hopefully session two gives me more hope!

Session 3 is booked for May 24... This...

Session 3 is booked for May 24...

This treatment the dial went up to 3.0... Hurt more than last time and more immediate bruising this time... I'm laying down with my arm up and I've... It's still throbbing and my appointment was at 11,

Hello everyone, well it's been a couple days since...

Hello everyone, well it's been a couple days since treatment 2... My arm is still bruised and still healing... I developed a lot more bruising this time, especially on the inner part of my arm... I also had bigger blisters and that definitely hurt... Especially when one of them popped... I can't believe session 2 beat me up this bad but my nurse said that the first 3 are the worst as far as pain and healing... She said my lines are deep and dense so it's taking longer to break up but it is breaking up, I can definitely see where it's changing and I know this is working but it also makes me realize it works at a very slow pace... I didn't have as much ice on it this time around, and my lines are still a little raised, but I think that is a combinations of the blisters I had and healing still...

This battle against ink is a long one... I asked about my other tattoo, they say that one is easier to remove because its shading... She said 8 treatments for that one, at $1200 for that too... So IF I opt in and can afford that I'll have spent $2400 on removing tattoos that cost about $500 :(... Oh well, that other tattoo is well done so not a priority to me but it is something I will work towards so I can minimize the ink on my body...

This has been very hard on me, but session 3 will be here before I know it... MAY 24 @ 11 am, :) I'm counting down!!!

Bring on the itch!!! Guess I take about a week to...

Bring on the itch!!! Guess I take about a week to heal... Lol!

Still the fading is mainly noticeable to me unless I show someone exactly where it's broken up... Not photo capturable yet...

I'm still itchy and it's healing still I assume,...

I'm still itchy and it's healing still I assume, I'm still using the aquaphor just in case...

The break up of the lines is there... But honestly not enough to where I can capture it in photos... :( makes me almost discouraged but I need to rememeber I was quoted at 10, I have only done 2 treatments so really what
Would I have expected

So Dr. Tattoff has offered me a discount deal for...

So Dr. Tattoff has offered me a discount deal for the other tattoo I asked about because I am a returning patient... $650, I'm 99.9% sure I am taking it and soon will start treatments on that... OUCH, but its time to put my big girl panties on and take charge of these mistakes...

Itching so bad these past couple of days... Idk if...

Itching so bad these past couple of days... Idk if my skin is just getting dry or what...

In other news, I'm going to go ahead and say I may have some type of scarring from getting the tattoo done... The lines when looked at from an angle look shiny... :(

That should fade with time right?

Ugh! This whole ordeal is so painful to think about... And it seems like success stories aren't to common on the Internet... Hoping and praying we all reach the finish line soon!

An email from an unexpected and amazing person...

An email from an unexpected and amazing person also getting a tattoo removed similar to mine but theirs had shading gave me a lot of hope... 6 sessions in and I can totally see a difference, I'm hoping since mine has no shading i could expect excellent results too... That email really made me feel better... Now that it's getting warmer here long sleeves really do suck but I refuse to let any one see it... Sadly the anxiety over this turmoil has caused a 12 lbs increase since January... So I am refocusing my energy in getting healthy and fit and going to try not to think about my arm... The arm cover I bought actually works pretty good of I'm doing half sleeves so that way at least one arm is free... Ill post a picture if i see one with it on...

So question ladies, I am obviously not trying to...

So question ladies, I am obviously not trying to get pregnant but am with my boyfriend, we have a 2 year old and yea sex happens... Right now I'm unsure if I could be since we did slip up and not wrap up a few times... How does that work with treatments? They have to stop huh?

Ok no I am not pregnant and will def be more...

Ok no I am not pregnant and will def be more careful going forward.:. Selfish as this is my sanity needs removal before expansion if my family... I just don't feel I'm in the right state of mind to have a baby... Anyways, mentally preparing for session 3 coming up this month... I've been taking biotin, vitamin d, fish oil, vitamin c and a muli vitamin everyday... I notice the tattoo is changing and the break up is there but big changes I've come to realize will probably be at the half way mark or more... The heat is coming in my area 95 degrees out today and I'm in a 3/4 sleeve :/ sucks! But at least it's a dress so I get some relief...

Session 3!!!!!

Ok so I'm here getting my arm number waiting for my turn to get zapped this morning... I have noticed that it never fails... About a week before treatment I get really anxious about seemingly nothing but I know it's this tattoo... The nurse said not to be discouraged... It will fade... Most patients on their average show significant changes after 4-5 treatments... Sometimes 3rd... So lucky number 3? Lol! Ill update again after I am done... Just wanted to check in and say I'm still here, still struggling, and still zapping.. Lol! I really want to start the other tattoo but no funds yet... :( I just don't want to spend the test of my life zapping away at myself... Ugh!

Bruises

So my nurse today was amazing!!!!! She was so motivational... I feel good despite bruises and swelling... I'm icing... Have my arm elevated, and resting...

So tips on healing? I'm going to buy aloe Vera juice, what else? I read coconut oil somewhere too

4 session countdown already...

4th session is July 19th... I am excited to move things along... I'm predictin my 6th session and last one for the year in November... To think I got the darn thing placed last November... :( oh well... Hopefully ill have saved enough to start removal on my other arm by then as well... I don't mind people knowing about the other removal since they know about that tattoo... It's this one I am ashamed about... I'm hoping that before next summer I'm either ink free or almost there to not feel so ashamed... :(

Healing

Psyching myself out

Well as I apply ointment I put some pressure to massage my arm a little and in some areas obviously I feel the raise Lines as its still healing but underneath those lines I feel bumps, almost like its a bump deep down... I keep thinking I'm scarring... Then I read on the Internet and lets face it google makes everything seems like death... So while the healing continues I think I need to stop thinking about it... Stress won't help clear the ink away... Oh yes and it itches so bad!!!!

Pictures

Learning to accept the mistake in order to move forward

I'm ovviously not there yet but I would like to be... Under the hash tags "tattooremoval, drtattoff, lasertattooremoval" I have come in contact with others experiences this... It's so painful emotionally for me, I can't stand to let others see it so I live in long sleeves, 100 degree weather makes me truly regret this... I just hate that it's made me feel regret towards every tattoo I have... :( ahh!! I guess once I'm further along in fading maybe I won't be this bad... I'd like to save up to start removal on my other arm... I don't want to be removing tattoos the rest of my life so would rather start soon...

Photos... 3rd treatments...

Updated pics about a week and some days after 3rd treatment... It's not huge change but I want to keep this as updated as possible

Off topic

Sorta...

Lol! It's amazing the people you meet in a tattoo removal "community" I've looked through the hash tags "tattooremoval" and it's amazing the wonderful people I have found...

It actually helps to know that we aren't alone in all of this...

My arm has healed for the most part, still shiny so still at some level healing... Although I'm convinced that's the type of scarring I have from placement of the tattoo...

Anyways, I have an interview for a new job today... So exciting and scary... But one things for sure... Tattooed people do have opportunities... I mean mine are easy to hide under long sleeves and dressy coats making me totally look the part... Little do people know I am 3/4 sleeved on one arm and my forearm is tattooed on the other...

Laser gives me hope, but tattoos didnt totally ruin my life... Just sanity... Lol!

Hope you all are ok...

Photo update

Photo update about 2.5 weeks after session 3, so I won't be updating pics until right before my 4th treatment unless it magically all starts falling off... Lol!!

Trying to remain positive

3 weeks to session 4!!

So I'm 3 weeks away from session 4 and I'm excited and nervous...

If I've done the math correctly and if we keep it at 8 weeks apart by the end of the year I should've done 6 treatments... I was quoted at 10 but am going to realistically place myself closer to 15+ just in case... I definitely do see changes, I'm thinking since she kept the setting the same from session 2 and session 3 maybe session 4 gets cranked up and bam! Fading... Lol...

I'm trying to remain optimistic, and I can't let it bring me down... I've learned to almost forget about it at times, obviously naked or in tanks (which I only wear at home) I notice it and realize how ugly I feel... It's such an emotional journey... So I truly feel for all of us going through it... Again I don't hate tattoos, I love them and still plan and covering the leaves (that I should've just done instead of doing this other piece) but that's it for me.... I really want to start removal on my forearm but I'm going to wait until I'm further into treatments with this fish before I move on and tackle my body with my to fight off...

How are all of you doing?

T mines 10 days!!!

Lol!

Yea crazy right, who gets excited to be zapped??!? Well not really excited for the pain and healing but excited to keep going and keep moving forward... I know now and am convinced I did sustain some scarring from placement, in the heat some areas of the tattoo raise and itch slightly... I don't scratch and if I cool off the lines go back down... Again I think, a scar I can deal with as opposed to black ink up and down my arm... There's always other options to minimize the appearance of any scars if it bothers me that much later... So session 4 is coming up, I was told 10? Realistically like I've sad before I'm preparing for 15+ if necessary, I won't exceed 20 treatments at all! And depending on how my skin looks after the 10 I may not do many more and have to live with what's left... I won't do a cover up because I don't want any ink there, so I've decided I live with what happens... I need to...

Thinking of u all my ink regret friends :)

I promised an update

So here goes, minor changes still but I only had dense deep black lines to work with so it's not like all my shading can disappear... I'm working on the hardest part, the outline...

In the light I can see the difference more then in darker light or at night...

Session 4 is Friday and surprisingly I don't feel as anxious as normal about it... It's number 4, bring it on! Before I know it this year will be over... Granted I still feel self consious and I don't wear tank tops anymore unless I'm home... But it's life... I'm only 23, I have years ahead of me and a beautiful little girl that loves me with or without this ink... So I'm going to keep strong and keep going... I'll update Friday after treatment to update what setting I'm at and how bad it hurts... It's all a part of the process tho! I met a girl removing a half sleeve and hers is so light now you can barely see it... It's possible! Keep healthy, be prepared for it to hurt, and take care of your healing skin properly... It too shall pass...

Up close

This is me dealing with summer...

So I'm not ready for my "real life" people to know what I'm going through, and hiding in this summer heat has been tough... Still I manage... This is me today, taking the day on... My baby girl needs me to always stay strong... :)

Sorry forgot the pic

Session 4

Damn this is nerve wrecking!!!! Waiting on my turn for session 4, I'll update later today as usual... But sitting here thinking as I numb my arm that I have realized this tattoo, although it has made me feel terrible has also helped me grow... And meet new amazing people... Also helped me be less judgemental... I never thought of myself as judgemental but now I can see where those flaws were because I feel like the tattoo humbled me.. Keep strong my friends, this too shall pass

Support system

Ok, lets talk about support systems... I don't think it's a topic I've touched, especially since I've been selfish and made it just about me when reality is that my family goes through this as well...

My bf wasn't very supportive at first, because he's not one to regret his tattoos, but he does love me and even tho he didn't agree he paid for my treatments and helps me with our daughter... My little brother is a big pain in my rear but during treatment weekends he's my life savior in getting my ice... Lol! Doesn't sound like much but it really helps... My momma is my rock... She helps with cooking, the baby, my emotions... Not many know about my ordeal, but in grateful for the support and unconditional love I have...

So my ink regret siblings... Who/what helps you get through the process... :)

Session 4

Session 5 scheduled for September 13 at 1215...

Nothing to report besides normal bruising and swelling... We kept the setting the same... The nurses want to be more cautious with my skin tone because I'm on the darker end... I think I agree especially since I did sustain scarring from initial placement... Nurse said its only on a few small areas so that will take the longest to fade but it's not severely bad to where it won't come off... So here we go... It never fails day of treatment and day after I eat horribly... But comfort food is needed... Lol

Yes it's painful

Don't ask me if it hurts... Pain is based on your own perception of pain... I definitely feel pain, doesn't mean you will and doesn't mean you won't...

Healing in my opinion hurts more then the initial procedure...

And there's no scarring now, I pray for none as we keep going but considering I do have some scarring from placement we'll see how it looks faded off...

Feeling lazy today still, :( downing water like no other...

I'm also on a journey to get fit and healthy so I will maintain accountable here too as health is an important factor in removal...

I am 5'6" and 159 lbs... Size 8 pants and size medium tops...


Goal 130lbs... Size 4 pants, size small tops...

Itchy healing phase?

I think I've been pretty consistent on how long it takes me to heal...

I did forget the "no steam rules" part of removal and yesterday after the gym I went in... :/

But gym again today...':) hopefully all this blood flow helps push ink away...

Just wanted to check in with you guys...

Already raised

And partially scarred lines, I've been reading that scar tissue can really delay fading... :( my outlines look as black as when I started, I mean yea up close I see break up, but nothing major... Halfway mark to my "quoted 10 treatments" is in September but seeing such little change I know it will be a long road ahead...

I have discouraging moments still! I just act tough ;) lol...

I'm adding some pics so you guys can see what in talking about... It's not crazy scaring... It's almost like imagine being scratched by a cat, you know how that raises? Well like that... It's not visibly noticeable but if you feel or look for it you'll see it...

I'm still prepared to live the slightly raised outline/scars in those places as long as the ink isn't in them... I don't mind having to tell people "it was a tattoo"

1st treatment to 4th treatment

:)

Dry skin?

Ok, so I know it took longer to heal because of the added body temps from workouts and my mistake in the sauna... But I was still putting aquaphor on, last night I forgot to re-lather it on and this morning my skin is really dry... The outline is almost like a thin scab? Just really dry and wrinkled, I put more ointment on so idk? I'm also drinking more water today... Hope it heals up nice... :/

2 weeks

It's been 2 weeks since treatment 4, I definitely see break up and see parts of the line turning grey... It has taken longer to fully heal and I think a lot has to do with me being in the gym and my body temps going up... It's kinda dry in some areas and started to peel a little... I can't wait to have this part of my arm back, but patience is key to this whole process... It's a slow one I know, I'm really eager to start my other tattoo as that one is mainly grey wash I hope it fades a lot faster...

Just keeping things updated... Probably the last photo update until before my 5th treatment in September... Keep your head up friends... This to shall pass... :)

I was able tell someone about the tattoo removal today...

We are getting our windows redone and the guy doing the quote asked me what happened to my arm, since I have the arm cover on... I told him I'm getting a tattoo removed and need to keep it out of the sun, he just smiled and said yea one of my friends is getting one removed... A lot harder then putting on huh, and went about his business...

It made me feel good to be able to say it and not care, and to see that it wasn't a big deal to this man either... Really our tattoos bother us, not really anyone else..: I've gone out without the arm cover, it's refreshing not to care about it there so much that it consumes me... Just wanted to update and let you guys know it gets easier with time.... Hang in there friends :)

Side by side

Pictures

So my tattoo is HUGE and takes up most of my arm... It also is hard to photograph well, and from far away the changes is minimal... Bf says that there is change tho even looking far away, he says the tattoo has a grey /old appearance as opposed to the really dense and black lines I started with... I'm adding pics of the entire tattoo is close ups, well as close as I can figure out to capture on my own... Mine also seems to have reddish/brownish under the outline and the parts that are fading off... It does seen to fade away tho... My clinic isn't worried about it and from other blogs I've followed seems to be the normal course of fading..

I may have gotten stronger and more open but yes I understand how devastating it feels to have a portion of your body that makes you feel so ugly... But honestly it's ugly to us, not many others... I've told more and more people (still not my grandparents) but most responses are "we are all young" or "the tattoo doesn't take away from you" or "your still beautiful" and it helps so much to hear someone tell you it's not a big deal because it will fade! Granted there will always be that part of you that still carries the tattoo even when it fades because its a part if your story now... Tattoos are a part of your story and removing them are as well... God only knows why I allowed the damn thing to be placed, but he also gave me the courage to start removal... I've learned to hide under long sleeves and can't wait for winter because let's face it, it gets hot... But I also learned to shop for flattering sexy long sleeve outfits so that I can still feel beautiful... My tattoo extends down my arm about 3 inches why of my wrist... So he's I understand...

Granted I didn't finish this tattoo but I knew I would hate it... Rather then let him color it in and "grow to love it" I decided it needed off...

Sorry I'm rambling just things I've been thinking of during this process...

And sorry to Real Self since I've turned this review into almost like a blog... I just know how hard it is to overcome the feelings of anxiety and hate... And I wanted to let you all know its all a process of learning and growing from this... Happy fading...

Still there

I swear I have dreams in where I have this part of my body back then wake up to look and it's still there...

Bf told me the other day it looks really dull... He had a hard time trying to explain it but he said its overall not as intense and bold, looks dull and shaky almost... Which is a good thing... 4 treatments in idk how much I expected gone and a few people I've talked to said they noticed big changes between 5-6 treatments... So we'll see... I think I'm going to postpone #5 a week because I want to do a mud run the 14th of September and that would be the day after treatment...

Just checking in... Haven't forgotten all of you...

My fish is getting dull, how are you guys fading?

Mud run!

I have decided to post pone my 5th treatment a week because I'm going to sign up to do a mud run and the date of the run would be the day after my scheduled treatment 5... I have felt so much better honestly and went out a couple times in tank tops... No one even looks at me... I used to swear people would eyeball and nothing, I felt so free... I still want the thing gone but I'm not desperately ready to off myself... (Which is how I felt at first)

There's light at the end, and like blackberry, I have braved letting the world see me... :)

Huge tattoo regret, yea that happens

Yea I understand regret of a huge tattoo, it happens even to the best of us... I'm adding a photo of me just lounging around but this is my "it's hot so the worlds just going to have to deal with my tattoo outline cuz I don't give a *beep*" look... Lol! Things change, now thinking about it I can't say they become easier but my outlook on the situation changed making it easier for me to respond... I swore my life was over after I did this... I swore I couldn't handle breathing because what kinda dumb person does this to themselves, well I'll tell ya... Because WE WANTED TO... Simple... It wasn't what you expected or no longer want it... There's a solution, just understand it takes a long time..: I've met so many people through this journey... Some were done in a year; some in less, some in 2 and even met Someone going on 3 years of removal... Everyone's body is different, the best thing to do is relax, get healthy and stay as healthy as possible, and most importantly love yourself...

5th treatment

Is set for September 28 at 415pm... :) I'm ready... Just trucking along now...

Healthier Me

Both physically and emotionally... It's such a struggle but I feel like I am getting there little by little... I weigh in today at 151.5... So I'm down 8.5 lbs since I first told you guys I'm going to get healthy... I also feel stronger emotionally... Half way mark is this Saturday, slow and steady... Hopefully my ink doesn't become resistant... Aggressive technicians could work in some cases, I just feel with my skin tone that mine is doing it the best way possible so as to minimize damage...

How are you all doing? :)

Postponed again

Yes yes, I had to reschedule my appointment for today... It was my cousins birthday last night and well too many drinks later I didn't feel like being zapped today...

I'll keep u guys updated in my new appt day when I figure it out...

Darker skin

Has different reaction... If you look closely you can see where the surrounding skin is slightly lighter then the rest of my skin that's never been treated... In everything I read and speaking with my clinic it's a reaction that can happen in people with a skin tone like mine... The lines are pretty dark but they were denser on the outer portion of my arm... This reaction is why I chose to trust a slow process... Who knows if it would be worse if they had gotten aggressive before.. My 5th treatment is set for September 19 at 9am... They will dial up then...

I don't drink anything but my daily coffee, water and green tea... I also have eliminated most of the junk food... I am weighing in at 150.9 and now officially getting too small for size 8 bottom, still a little muffin top In a size 6, so I'll continue to work on a physically and emotionally healthier me...

Thank u for the nice comments... I don't ever get offended, at least haven't so far by any... I do understand the concern for going slow and I have read some people comment on many treatments with the actions that dr tattoff staff chose... For now, I will continue trusting...

5th treatment no numbing cream

So we dialed down instead of up... It hurt so bad and I'm so happy I used numbing cream befor and will continue to do so with future treatments...

Photos

It's hard to take pics of the other side of my arm which I would love to be able to do since that's the deeper part but this is all I can capture on my own...

Sun exposure

I should add that my arm has had no sun exposure since being placed November last year... So yes my arms are lighter now then they were when this first started...

I know my change and progress is minimal, but honestly as of right now I do trust the process and the facility I am in... I appreciate all the comments, but every tattoo is different and everyone's skin reaction is different... I felt how deep this was placed, I knew the challenges is face with my skin tone...

How are you guys doing?

Hey everyone, just a quick "hi" and check in... I still very much have the tattoo so I'll post an update photo before my next treatment but for now just wanted to say hi and remind all of you struggling with the idea of removal or devastated because your beautiful idea for body art didn't come out how you wanted it to, I've been there and it WILL get better. I PROMISE.

I was so down and depressed, I recently found emails I sent my doctor last year and it really sent chills down my spine reading how unbelievably down I was. In the email I'm clearly freaking out, asking for help... The tattoo was done November 7th last year so I've officially lived a year with the damn thing and 5 laser sessions in I have learned so much. I've learned to love myself and as much as I still pray for the removal to be amazing I've learned I have so much more to live for and wasting time, energy, and my life being depressed took away from my family.

Don't let that be you. Lean on all of us here for support... I've gained so much strength from the network of amazing ink regret siblings and friends I've met...

Good night all... Thinking of u...

Photo update.

Really not much to report, change is more apparent in real life seems like but maybe you guys can get an idea.

Another thing I am or may not have mentioned the artist used a flame to widen the needle before starting giving me not only deep dense lines but really bold ones. If I look close I can see the lines thinning out so grey and then black line in the middle. Now to call and postpone my treatment because I have a couple bday parties the weekend # 6 is scheduled.

Patience is key. And I'm also being a baby because we are dialing up, they dialed down for me last one because I didn't numb. So up up and away!

Treatment 6

Very dense tattoo is a stubborn pain in the behind...

But I spend Christmas with my health, daughter, family, and little life, so I'm very grateful for what I have. I'm chugging along with the removal because obviously I still hate the thing... But I don't want to dwell... New year new chances... My next treatment probably won't be until middle march sometime since I want to space them out further, and because I have a lot of birthday parties cominng up... Most importantly my little girls... I won't let this stinkin tattoo ruin anything anymore...

Just checking in, I haven't been zapped yet... I'm sitting numbing and waiting on my turn... :)

Check in

Almost 2 weeks since #6, healing like usual... I still use aquaphor off and on and it's still healing I feel... But I'm chugging a long... I really wanted to try Blackberry's challenge but other things came up and I couldn't focus on prepping and trying it out... Thinking of doing it next month since it's my birthday month... I will be 24 guys... It's certainly unreal!!

In other news I am down to 140lbs... :) so things are looking up... The tattoo is there but life certainly does go on... No new photos since well there's really only so many pixxtutes of an outline I can show u guys... Plus it's always dark before it lightens...

Photo update

It's been 2 weeks since #6 and honestly a little discouraging to see how much of it is still there... Nevertheless onward I go... The deeper areas where I have some scarring from placement have yet to really show much change... The lines are breaking up but not like the inner portion of my arm... I do have some hypopigmentation going on and I knew that was a possibility going into this... Course of action I feel is to space out treatments further in between... I also want to ask them to turn the setting higher for next time and then wait longer and see how that goes...

All else is the same... I still put aquaphor on it after showers so it doesn't get too dry... Pretty soon here it will be just lotion...

I keep reminding myself I'm only 23 and have so much ahead of me, God willing of course... So the tattoo won't be running my life, I'll run it and the tattoo will fade in time... My heart tells me it will!

"Lack of results"

I have really not much to report...
I realize darker skin was a risk to hypopigmentation, so not surprised...

I do feel changes in my tattoo and although change is slow it is change... An outline that was placed this deep may need more time, may never go away, may do a lot of things but as of right now riding it out at this clinic is the only option I have...

I appreciate everyone's concern and comments but I don't have an option right now... Like I said before I will ask for the setting to go higher and wait longer in between to see how that changes things...

Patience is a big part of this entire process and considering I don't want a cover up I will ride this out slowly...

The "lack of results" comments/messages don't really help... I realize others have better results on tattoos, then I look at where they started as opposed to myself and can't compare..

No photo updates.... Just touching base so you all know I haven't forgotten... I will see this review all the way through... Good morning ya'll

Postponed treatment

Well nothing much to report besides I postponed treatment scheduled for today just because I needed sleep...

Photo update

The lighting is different here as I'm in my living room... This is the tattoo 11 weeks after treatment 6... Treatment 7 was scheduled but I canceled and haven't rescheduled yet... There's no scarring besides the scaring from placement, I've just learned to focus on new goals... I'm think maybe waiting a month and going for treatment 7... I am still here... And so is the tattoo... But it no longer consumes my every thought...

No treatment

Still haven't scheduled it and not sure exactly when... I'm thinking another month... Have some things planned with family coming up so going to enjoy that... Tattoo is very much still here but it is almost a part of me now... I don't Iove it but don't hate that part of my body anymore... How are all of you? I think about u all often... I remember the panic and sheer desperation I felt... Now I'm at peace with the fact that I'm human... :-)

June 28th is treatment #7

So I have finally scheduled my next laser appt. I'm excited to keep going, not excited about the pain. But the appt is set. I see a lot of changes in the outline sadly it's hard to grasp thse changes in pictures. But I'll take one after my next appt.

Photos

Well everyone... Here's a side by side of the tattoo in it's current state and where I started... It's very dull... The outer part of my arm is darker then the inner part but I knew that would happen... See you all in a month after #7... :-) my tattoo turns 2 in November!!! Let's see how faded it is by it's 2 year birthday... Haha!!

Patience

My arm has had minimal to zero sun exposure since placing the tattoo which is why I look lighter as well... It was for two reason, for me not to tan anymore so as to not have darker skin being treated and because I was so ashamed... Now I've noticed that I can walk around and it doesn't bother me like it did... Here's two pics I snapped while waiting in the Starbucks drive thru today... You can see the loss of pigment in areas of my arm (which again I knew was possible and am not freaked out over)... I have plans still to "girl" up my original piece, and I might have that extend down to my elbow... Still just thoughts and plans... I want to cover those leaves in the top piece... But I will continue with removal on the rest and in the process continue to grow as a person... I hope you all can learn to forgive yourself, and your artist... Life does go on...

Postponed #7

Yes that's right it's been postponed, but this time because I have an infection and I needed antibiotics... So 2 weeks out from my last dosage makes treatment day July 19 now... I also added a photo of my whole arm... I've had a hard time trying to show you guys the entire piece so I had my 3 yr old snap these... Not great quality but now you can see what the whole piece looks like... I'm about 90% sure that I will continue to fade this until I can cover the top portion up to my elbow, and then continue treatments on the portion below until it's gone or I'm not allowed to treat it anymore...

But that's still just a thought process... I will be patient and take my time deciding on anything... For now, keeping with the original plan and treating this tattoo...

I truly hope all of you have forgiven yourselves or are trying to... I promise life goes on...

Treatment day

I'm here!!

I haven't told many "real life" peeps, but I'm not as ashamed and slowly just letting go...

This is #7, I ate breakfast, drank water, I'm being number and just waiting...

Hope you all are amazing!! On treatment days I usually do NOTHING all day, rest, ice, drink plenty of water. That's it. I take the day for me. My amazingly supportive family entertains my little girl for the day so this can be possible. :) see you guys after the zapping!!

New laser

So up until yesterday I was being treated with the Revlite, since I've been gone they have a new laser, the astanza duality. The tech said they were doing a more aggressive treatment and since it's a new laser it's more intense, boy was she right. The initial pain of the treatment was about the same if not less painful. But the healing part sucks! My arm is swollen like usual, outline is raised like usual, and bruised like usual. I've done nothing for 2 days besides sleep, drink water, ice, and keep my arm elevated while I watch tv. My mom took my baby for the night which was a great help. My little got to have fun!

I wil update with pics in a couple weeks. Today there's not much new to report besides all the same healing as always.

Healing

Never fails, healing for me seems to be a couple of weeks. Lines are still raised, kinda itchy, no swelling anymore.

I'll do a photo update right before treatment 8 possibly.

Overall the tattoo is fading, it was really dense and deep to start. There's break up of lines for sure. And some pieces have cleared. Overall tho, the tattoo is obviously still there. The scales and eye on the fish are scared from place of tattoo so those are taking longer to break up, but they are fading.

Taking care of yourself

Please please remember to take care of yourself during this process, it's a LONG painful one...

I've basically healed.. Some rougher patches still but overall it's smoothed out and not itchy...

In the picture I'm enjoying this summer with my little... She is getting big and I refuse to be depressed over a tattoo I'm not happy with... I've told more and more people about it...

One day I'll have to redesign it maybe.:: for now just keep going...

Miss you all!!

Love!

Piggy banking on last nights posts...

100 days of happiness

Hello my wonderfully amazing ink regret family...

I have a challenge for you all... 100 days of happiness!!!!

I know how terrible these tattoos have made us feel... And although I've done wayyyy better than the girl i was when this started I still struggle... Joy and health go together in my book, so my challenge to all of you is to everyday, for 100 days, at the end of the day reflect on what made you happy...

A cake, a bird, a friend, anything!!! Pick one, and you can share it... #100daysofhappiness

Or just reflect in it for you... I will be doing the challenge as well... I think it will be a great way to make us all stop and look at the greater picture...

As far as the tattoo, yes it's still there... The lines are breaking up and thinning out... I know there's a long road ahead for me... But I will keep at it until it's gone, I don't care, or I decide to redesign my arm...

Love,
B
Montclair Dr. Tattoff

After researching and reading I found them to be the most trustworthy and expierenced in their field...

5 out of 5 stars Overall rating
5 out of 5 stars Doctor's bedside manner
5 out of 5 stars Answered my questions
4 out of 5 stars After care follow-up
5 out of 5 stars Time spent with me
5 out of 5 stars Phone or email responsiveness
5 out of 5 stars Staff professionalism & courtesy
5 out of 5 stars Payment process
5 out of 5 stars Wait times
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in summer graduate school we did grateful journals each week. We had to think of 5 things we were grateful for. Happiness and gratitude are definitely addictive, once you start looking at things that make you happy (butterflies) you see more and more things to be happy about.
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I love the idea of the 100 Days of Happiness, you are absolutely correct we more often than not concentrate on what makes us miserable instead of be thankful for the good in out lives.
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I know ink regret made me focus on everything negative for a long time. I'm hoping asking everyone to reflect on a happiness for the day becomes therapietic for us all
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Thank you for creating the 100 days of happiness challenge! Wonderful idea and will be helpful for many! There are proven benefits of challenges like this. It helps you realize what makes you happy and you become more aware and grateful for the ‘simple’ things in life. Plus, sharing what makes you happy is meant to boost your mood.
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Yes!! I hope a lot of people jump in, pictures would be great if we could share, but comments and dialogue is great too! I figured the sadness we all felt is temporary, and hopefully by everyone reflecting on what made them happy will help us realize there's bigger and more amazing things in the world.
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Pictures or even video would be amazing! I am super thrilled you did this! Way to go :)
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Those eyes! Priceless photo - so glad you shared :)
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Love the pictures of you and your daughter! Goes to show that life does go on regardless of how these tattoos have affected our lives. Thanks for sharing your experience and personal photos with us. Yours was one of the first reviews I started following religiously especially since I am also Hispanic and also going to a Dr Tattoff (except in Dallas). It always nice to see the person behind the review. Funny how less visible the tattoo is when you see the whole person. If I/we could only realize how "small" our tattoos really are!
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My main reason for sharing who I was and the pictures of myself and my daughter was to show how I've gotten by... Life is much greater than superficial appearance... The tattoo hasn't stopped me from being able to live besides mentally and emotionally so I had to learn to get past it... Plus I felt like I've created a connection with a lot of ink regret siblings and showing myself was a way of healing for me too! I don't want to hide... It's taken me a lot of time, but I feel like if I could help someone by posting my personal life as well and show I'm more than ink I will do that... I hope your removal goes great and congrats on your baby boy! :)
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I am loving your "with or without ink, I am a mom first". We are not defined by our ink, and often it takes the youngest but most sincerest minds to recognize that. We should be so gentle with ourselves. aloha...k
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Yes, a little pure sincere heart... I feel like a different person! I even walk around in tank tops now! Protecting from the sun of course... But I'm learning to live!! :)
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:)
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Very inspiring update, and it also goes to show that there are far more important things in life than how our skin looks, and that is worth remembering whenever we feel depressed "just" because of this whole ink situation! :-)
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It's taken me a long time! The girl I was November 2012 after having it done was so depressed and sad and miserable that I know and regret all the time I took away from my baby... Now, I know where my priorities are... I'm still not in love with this tattoo and it was done so densely and deep it's going to take a long time to get anywhere, but in that time I will enjoy life... :)
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It's funny, cus i also feel a whole lot wiser in just the five months time i have had mine, priority wise that is! i spend a whole lot of more time now with my family and my closest friends than i used to, just doing simple things :-) So there is also some good that came from this mess :-) And yeah i think it will take a lot of time, but its not like you have to put your life on hold in that period! Go go super mommy! ;)
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The sad part was that at first I did. I put myself on hold and became so depressed... I still have bad days... But overall I know where my heart is and that's with the little girl in my pictures... She hugs and kisses my arm religiously... Goes "mommy I love this arm, I know you don't like it but I love it" it's really a smack in the face to see a little mind so observant of my hurt that she wanted to make it better... And she does :) I'm glad this mess helped you too! It's great to be around family!
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so sweet your little girl, and she speaks with love. We might be wise to follow. aloha...k
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Your update put a gigantic smile on my face!!!! I am so very proud of how far you have come in the process. Your daughter is adorable, just like mom. Thank you for this inspriation to all!!
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Thank you Eva... It's taken awhile for me to realize there's more to life... And she could care less whether the tattoo is there or not... These arms can hug and comfort her regardless... :)
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You got it!!
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Every morning before I get out of bed I check realself for any updated reviews, and I think your most recent update with you and your daughter is fantastic. I constantly worry about what my children might think of me or how I prioritise my removal over them, but your update has really changed my approach today and given me that much needed patience, so I really want to say thanks. It's so easy to let life's worries get in the way of things that are much more important and it's great that you're not allowing that to happen. Good for you! I think this update is going to stick in my head throughout the rest of my removal.
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I'm glad it's helped you! I think about that too... How much I take away from my daughter for removal... But she loves me regardless, I can love her, play with her, climb trees, comfort her, hug her, play tag etc with or without the tattoo... So why let a superficial (although very nervewrecking mistake) take over my ability to be able to love myself so I can in turn be the best of me for her? Good luck my ink regret sibling... We will all get there soon enough... For now let's enjoy every moment of life with the people that matter most!
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Hey there, just checking in to see how you healed up.
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aloha Barbiedoll90, Another session under your belt...HURRAY!! I also have raised bits, and was thinking it will take longer to fade. I am using my scar sheets and am gearing up for another session. Together girl we can do it!! I am so excited to see that you are moving forward, seeing fading, that's fantastic! Good luck with the healing, you'll do awesomely!! aloha...k
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Thank you k! When is your next session?
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