I have been thinking about/wishing for a tummy...
Please note that the $6,000 figure for the cost of this is only an estimate as this site makes it a requirement to post. I have not had my consultation yet, but that is a safe guess. I am going to see two specialists.
I have never (and by that, I do mean NEVER) been completely naked with a lover. I pretend it's just because I don't like being naked in general, but it's really because I'm carrying around this shame about my stomach inside of me. Like a slow poison, it is the one thing about my body I not only dislike, but loathe. I don't mind a little giggle on my thighs, or my little flappy arms, double chin, or even the fold of fat on my back. It's the stomach. Always has been. I remember being in 5th grade and being teased by other girls who just couldn't fathom how or why my stomach was like that--on an otherwise nice figure.
I am tired of the "bump". I am tired of it ruining dresses. I am tired of wearing girdles and crossbody bags to mask it. I am tired of meeting a man I am interested in, going for some fun luvin, and excusing myself to go put on some sort of piece of sexy lingerie to hide the fact that I won't get naked. I realized today if my stomach were just normal sized--I would be *fine* about being naked. I don't care about a scar, I don't care about an imperfect. I just want this low hanging, inner tube off of my body!
I am recently divorced, and I think this is going to feel like the best thing I could do for myself. I worry sometimes I am too overweight at 5'7" and 215 lbs. But I have seen some stories from this site that have inspired me. I have seen some women here with a build like myself and I am going to do it come heck or high water! I only wish I wasn't moving both my home and business in the next couple of months so that I could do it now instead of having to wait. But I will get it done. And I will show my progress here! My goal is to wear a bikini in public. Even if it's not an itty bitty one. But to tan and show off my tummy for the first time in my life? Yes, please!
Had my consultation!
Right now I am shooting to be able to make my appointment for Sept 2nd, but I have to wait until I finish getting my money together in the next month before I can set it in stone with him. But I AM doing this, and I can't wait!
Oh, so very impatient!
I am wishing I could just do this now now now! lol, like a little spoiled brat.
Also just realized my 20 year reunion is two months after my surgery! I hope I can wear a fantastic, more fitted, sexy no plus size dress. Regular size dresses are so much cuter than plus size ones!
Okay, rant over. One day at a time. In the big picture it's 6 weeks away.
Tick tock tick tock tick tock......
Surgery date sooner than planned! Yay!
One more week to go!
Another thing weighing on me is that I am opening a new hair salon Nov. 1st. In October, just 4 weeks after surgery I am going to be setting up my new salon. I have lots of help and friends who are going to show up for me and help me get everything together, but it's still a difficult to imagine. I will take it easy though.
Whew, I am so excited, not nervous at all!!
feeling a little disappointed
My advice is do not try to impress yourself and do this without your pain meds. Stay on top of them before the pain gets on top of you. Also, just buy suppositories for the constipation. 10 minutes after getting mine, a sweet, glorious bowel movement followed! lots and lots of swelling, lipo stiffness, and muscle soreness but as they say, the 3 rd day is he worst and it's all downhill from here!
My advice in hindsight to others
5 days PO
Last night I put on a pair of real pants for the first time (still size 18, but looks a lot better than they did before). I am still in my binder with my bandages on over my incision. I went to my son's football game for a couple of hours and saw him in marching band. I am glad that I forced myself to go no matter what I felt like.
My body is changing every day. My waist is starting to cinch inward finally. I still have a lot of numbness in my mid back and lower back, but each day I can feel my sensations coming back inch by inch. It's getting flatter and flatter. I am not the best about eating all the right foods to fight swelling and whatnot though, so progress is probably a bit slower for me.
Also, I am really impressed with how my vagina looks. As I said, as my PS was marking me for surgery, he said very casually, "I'm also going to go ahead and lipo your mons while we're at it, to give you a little boost and to give us a nicer end result." Firstly--a lot of people don't know what a "mons" is--it's the mound of flesh above your vagina). Second, I could have kissed him full on the lips when he said that! My mons has always been so fatty and heavy. Now it's so tight and light an I can actually SEE my labias! My vagina looks beautiful to me now. I never put much thought into it before. So, I *highly* recommend you get this done in addition to your TT. Luckily, Dr. Campanile just threw it in and didn't charge me extra. He just seems to really care about giving you as best an end result as he can give you. I so highly recommend him!
Anyway just wanted to say, things are looking up for me. I'm starting to look at myself naked every day and sort of marvel. So is my mother.
I will post some more pics soon.
Random pics and info
We got a little intimate. We didn't go "all the way" or anything, but I stood in front of him naked and he touched me and looked at me and talked to me and told me how great I looked and was going to look.Then things got a little personal and deeper and I started crying. He didn't really understand why I was crying and I didn't really tell him. There was such a freedom to letting someone see me and be a part of what I've done. Remembering all the years of trying to hide my stomach and now, having nothing to hide. I was overwhelmed. So life changing.
5 week check in!
Do NOT touch your incision, or let your animals sleep in your bed with you while you heal--they have fecal matter all over their bodies and it gets on the sheets. Use antibacterial soap constantly as well as santizier gel on your hands any time you get anywhere near your incision. Even if your like me and rarely ever to cuts get infected, be more careful than you ever thought you should with your incision. I will probably have to have a scar revision later. But the infection is one and I am on the mend.
Almost 6 weeks
I wear my CG every day, all day, only take it off to change the packing in my wound, which is doing better by the way. I FINALLY just now got my little routine down and am handling packing it a little better. but it still gives me the creeps! My vagina/mons seems super swollen and meaty, but it may be because my tummy is starting to flatten. My belly button looks good, the scar is bright pink, the pleating is starting to go away. On my left side though, I have a little roll that I don't like. I feel like it's there to stay, not going to go away because it's there even when I am least swollen.
Anyway, that's my update. I'll post some more pics this week!
Keep on keeping on!
Swelling is pretty consistent every day and comes and goes all over my stomach
More Swelling Issues
Stitch Rejection, Oh Joy
I sat with warm compresses most of the afternoon and decided to just take a load off and let my body work on the problem while I rested. I eventually wanted to get very aggressive with it, and plugged in my electric hot pad and laid it across my stomach for 3 hours. earlier I had noticed the bumps seem to be coming to a head (like when a pimple becomes ready to be popped) and I wondered what was going to happen. Then I read my realself profile here, and someone mentioned she had the nurse pop it and drain it, and the other she did herself at home. I have some nursing training, I have popped these before, and most importantly, I know how to do the operation so that it is sterile. I even had a doctor's scalpel, fresh in sterile packaging. So I went in the bathroom, set up (although I was SO not prepared for what was about to happen), and stood near/ over the bathroom sink. Before I was totally ready, I decided to just touch the tip of the scalpel on the large bump to see if I would feel anything to guage if it would be painful.
Holy mother of god and baby Jesus himself.
This thing absolutely EXPLODED. Dark brown fluid stars violently squirting out three feet in front of me all over the mirror, all over the bathroom sink and counter and I'm trying to aim it into the sink and simultaneously catch what I can in my hand (so gross) and my stomach starts to deflate like a hot air balloon that has hit the ground without fire. I am amazed, grossed out, in shock, and relieved (pain instantly left my body) all at once. This thing squirts fluid out of my stomach 2 to 3 solid minutes without stopping. I'm catching it all in the sink and some in toilet paper and I probably flushed 15 rounds of toilet paper full of blood and pus. It didn't smell bad so I knew the infection wasn't too far progressed, but holy cow!
I spent 20 minutes draining my stomach and the stuff just keeps coming out of me. My entire stomach must have been full of this stuff! Not only that, I think it has been full all this time I have been healing. My mons has been rock hard and swollen (as you can see in basically all of my pictures) and I thought it was unusual that it has never gone down. All of the swelling I thought was just normal and day to day healing (which I am sure some of it was) ended up being FLUID in my stomach! I'm sure my body has been absorbing it as much as it could, but it couldn't keep up with all of this. Just when I think that all the fluid was out, I push on a new part of my stomach or on my mon, and more and more kept coming. It too over a half an hour by the end of it to drain my stomach!
I bandaged myself up and went to bed feeling like a million bucks. I looked smaller, felt smaller and wondered if I didn"t just lose a couple more lbs. When I got up this morning, I realized I had continued to drain throughout the night and had soaked the bed (ewwww) where I was sleeping on my side. My bandages were soaked, my clothes,and my bed. So I got up and drained it more and re bandaged it. It's still leaking, my new bandage is already almost soaked again. WOW.
So then guess what? I lost an extra 3 lbs according to the scale and am now at 193. I was 223 when I started this whole ordeal and have been holding fast at 195 for the last two months. I got out of bed and started going through what's left of my wardrobe (already got rid of 80% of everything!) and go rid of one thing after another that now no longer even comes close to fitting me! Even my pretty red sweater dress hangs instead of hugs now! I had only gone down to a size 16 after all of this and I was sad. This morning---I am a size 12!!! A size freakin' 12! I only have ONE DRESS that is a size 12! The jeans I just bought are 16's--one of them is a size 15 junior and that is the one that fits.
Could it be all this time, I had this swelling due to the fluid build up around the internal stitches? I am wondering if a drainless tummy tuck was worth it.I think drains would have helped. Other girls I know my shape who had this down have very little swelling (compared to what I have been going through) and for the most part, feel pretty normal.
My vagina is soft again, all the hardness is gone. Wow. just wow. I will post pictures once I am done with this mess!
His staff, Erin and Alisha (there is a new girl but I can't remember her name) were always beyond professional and courteous. Each time I went to the office I felt like I was their only client. I hardly waited at all between seeing his staff and waiting for Dr. C. He is very laid back, relaxed professional and calm. The morning of my surgery he came into see me privately to make his markings on me just one on one--which I really appreciated. Once he lifted my apron, he remarked that he was also going to go ahead and lipo my mons for me which filled me with relief. I really could not have gotten a better experience than the one that I got with Dr. Campanile and his staff. His C.L.A.S.S. tummy tuck technique he developed is far superior to a standard one, and his perfectionism and thoroughness and comforting at every turn. Even in my post op exam I just never felt rushed even for a moment. He answered all of my questions, reassured me left and right and gave me realistic results and expectations. I would recommend him for a tummy tuck to anyone. He is a wonderful person and surgeon.