10mos later.....

My decision to have this done began with back pain...

My decision to have this done began with back pain and depression. I began to have tons of back pain after exercising. Long story short, I ended up having diastasis recti (muscle separation) and a small umbilical hernia. So my abdominal muscles were not supporting my back. Trying to get my body back and limiting my exercises really got me down. When my boobs disappeared, well that just made it even worse. I tried prescriptions, but that’s just not for me. I now felt like I didn’t belong in my own body. I couldn’t recognize myself anymore, which was really hurting my intimate relationship with my husband. Honestly, I was angry at the world. I was angry at that stupid saying, “eat more, you’re eating for two” not that I ever followed it, but man is that annoying to hear. I was angry at my mother for having 6 children and keeping her body. I was angry at all of those women who kept saying to me “you look so good”. Ugh, I was very, very angry. For the most part, I’ve always been against plastic surgery BUT I never knew how low a person’s self-esteem can get. How alone you can feel. On the outside I looked great and that’s what everyone sees but it’s not how I felt. I knew that I had to take care of me, I refuse to give my sons a mother who is on happy pills and I refuse to push away my husband for something that can be fixed. So I’m giving plastic surgery a chance. I reluctantly talked to my husband about this and he was/is very supportive. He just wants his wife back, he wants me to smile and be the annoying silly pain in the butt that he loves so much. :0)
After setting my surgery date, I felt such relief. I can now see myself and know that I’m going to improve what I see in the mirror. I’m going to help myself and that has made a world of difference.
At this point I’m just itching to get the surgery done with. I cannot stand this waiting period! I feel the longer the wait the more I question myself about whole thing. I just keep reassuring myself that I have done my due diligence and that I really want and need this. I now know that plastic surgery is not a cop out, it’s a tool, it’s an avenue and I’m very grateful to have the opportunity to take advantage of it. Stats: 30yrs old, 2 children (2&10), 5’2, 106-109lbs FTT, lipo in the flanks, hernia repair, 375cc/400cc silicone Mentor Modplus, under the muscle, fold incision – scheduled for Jan. 4

On my first consultation with a PS (Dr. G), he had...

On my first consultation with a PS (Dr. G), he had me put on a bra (a black bulky one) that then held the sizers in, he told me that if I were his sister he would recommend 325. At this consultation I was able to take the sizers home to try them for a week. I’m going to be honest here, I felt like myself in the 350 and my husband liked the 375. I figured I would choose the 375 and since they will go down a little (placed under the muscle) then we would both be happy. You should know that these sizers where the kind you typically see, the round bubble looking ones.

On my second PS consult (Dr. W). In this consult I also tried on the bra, which was a world of difference, I was actually impressed by how nice this bra was in comparison to Dr. G’s. Anyway on to the sizers, the sizers were soooo different… these were part the new Mentor volume sizers system (google it for pic). They are shaped more like a breast than a round bubble and are supposed to mimic the way they will settle in your breast. Let me tell you, these felt lighter and smooth against my body and looked so dang good I wanted to walk out with them. Totally impressed by that! I really liked the 375 they looked like what I used to have. In choosing 375, they will place 400 to accommodate for the loss of cc under the muscle. BUT when I tried on the 400, these made me feel like it was too much. I don’t really understand why though since 25cc is such a minuscule amount and according the Mentor implant measurements they have the same projection. BTW, Dr. W suggested 275.

I’ve never been huge per say, but definitely filled out my tops. J In the mystical world of bras, I always wore a 34B/34C. I was perky and full.

I’m pretty stuck on 375/400 but I’m worried of being too big, especially since both PS suggested smaller sizes. From what I’ve read it seems that girls with similar stats to me with those sizes end up with D or DDs. If I were told that 3yrs ago, I would think that’s too big but I now wear a 34D from VS. I don’t fill it out, my breast width changed after my last pregnancy and I don’t fit in anything smaller. So now what? Will the implant make me bigger, or will it just help me fill it out? Uggh.

Here’s a thought - when I breastfed, I used to pump an average of 14oz per pumping session. If 30cc =1oz then 14oz would equate to 420cc. So essentially 400cc would be a little over 13oz, right? Hmmm, does this sound like a good estimation of what I should look like? If so, do I really want to be as full as I was while breastfeeding…not really, I mean I would be okay with it since I didn’t look top heavy but I would be concerned with the aging of my breasts…carrying a load like that for years cannot be good.

Bottom line, I want to look as close to what I had as possible (not cups, actual size). I’m afraid of not getting my money’s worth.

How did you figure out your size? I would love to hear from anyone that tried the new Mentor sizers and if it came close to your outcome. Thank you!

I’ll try to post some pictures this weekend.

Correction my boys are 2 & 12. They are 10yrs apart.

Correction my boys are 2 & 12. They are 10yrs apart.

Correction my boys are 2 & 12. They are 10yrs apart.

Correction my boys are 2 & 12. They are 10yrs apart.

I'm curious to know what transformation you went...

I'm curious to know what transformation you went through besides physical or was it just physical changes? I guess I'm asking long term changes. Does life change or just your appearance? My husband asked me if I thought I would change as a person or would I remain the same. ? I didn't know what to say. So, now I ask you...

This morning I had an interesting conversation...

This morning I had an interesting conversation with my hubs. He asked me what the “exit plan” is… meaning do I plan on keeping the implants until I die, or will I eventually explant and let my breasts be… whatever that maybe. This was the exact same thing I was thinking of all weekend.

This weekend I was reading stories in the explant community and it’s a very REAL thing. It’s scary to see the explant pictures. These poor women for various reasons decide to explant and just let things be. I don’t think I can do that… right…otherwise why would I get implants to begin with? Implants are a serious commitment and I pray to God that He takes care of me. I came to the conclusion that I would eventually replace them with anatomical types at an older age, when I can sport my silver hair and chase after my grandkids. I would hope that by then the perkiness will not be as important to me.

Anyway – Today I received my GoGirl (a cute female urinary device) and my King size heat pad. I haven’t done much to prepare. I already have most of the items at home, so I don’t really need to shop for supplies. This is what I have and think I’ll need: GoGirl, heat pad, gauze, tape, steri strips, Neosporin, chase ready for lounging, lots of pillows, cup w/ straw for sipping, lots of open front comfy pjs. My PS will supply my CG (a full body one) and surgical bras. I haven’t had my pre-op appointment yet, so I don’t have my Rxs. I just need to go grocery shopping and pick up some Colace and Arnica (I prefer Arnica in tea form)…and I think that’s it. Most important, my hubs will be with me for the first 10 days and I will be at home for 6 weeks before returning to work.

I hope to upload some pictures soon. I know how helpful they were to me, so I’ll pay it forward.

I don't understand why I'm not excited. A year ago...

I don't understand why I'm not excited. A year ago I was taking pills for my depression, six months ago I was looking for a surgeon and was overly excited about the thought of getting my body back....I just don't understand myself right now. I'm nervous and I hope I'm making the right decision. I'm completely positive about having the tummy tuck. I'm really nervous about the BA. I worry that they will feel too weird in my body and I'll become very sad about it. I know they'll look weird for a while but I'm not sure how it will actually feel. Will I feel them inside of me? Or will it just be pain? Not to mention that I kept going back and forth between 375cc and 400cc,
Well, if anyone is reading this, my surgery is this Friday and I pray that it all goes well. I'll be having tummy tuck, hernia repair, lipo of the flanks and BA 400cc modplus silicone.

Surgery went well. The staff was really nice! My...

Surgery went well. The staff was really nice! My hubby has been taking good care of me...I find it very romantic. The worst right now is the pressure of my chest, I wasn't expecting SO much pressure. I've been sleeping omfortable. I have a pain pump for my tummy and that is SO helpful. My best purchase has.been my pee funnel...its great! No sitting down to go. My husband carries me in and out of bed, thats awesome...it still hurts but not as much. I ended up with 400ccc, no vertical scar on my tummy.

Well so far I've puked once...that was awesome....

Well so far I've puked once...that was awesome. Coughed twice...even better and pulled out my pain pump tubes(I had to by now). I know its super early but when do they start getting softer?

I had a nice surprise this morning. My surgeon and...

I had a nice surprise this morning. My surgeon and staff sent me a bouquet of gorgeous flowers. That was truly nice. I'm feeling good today.

Physically: I had my drains out on PO day 5, I...

Physically: I had my drains out on PO day 5, I wasn’t draining much of anything. I had a really bad experience with constipation. I took some medicine to help me and the bloating just about killed me. It was the most awful pain ever; from past experience I would compare it to passing a kidney stone…just awful! I’m doing much better now. My breasts are still riding high and swollen; it seems like such a slow process for them to drop. They look very wide and full. When I take my bra off, my sides hurt I have to brace myself for it. I know it’s just my body getting used to the new additions. My abdomen doesn’t really bother me, I’m still taking it easy because I know that I have to but I’m surprised at how little pain I have from that area.
At times I wish I would have done this in two sessions. I don’t like being alone in my room away from my family. I know that my boys miss me and although they come to see me, it’s just not the same. My husband has been with me since the surgery but I miss him so much. I wish I could cuddle with him and spoon together…aahh the tears are coming. I long for the day when I’ll feel like myself again.
There are some moments when I question whether I did the right thing. I try not to think about that too much because what’s done is done and I can’t do anything about it now. And it’s not like I’m unhappy with my “results” because I haven’t seen them yet…
Anyway, I’ve been feeling pretty blue and hope that expressing it here helps me in some way.

Last night I took a shower with my hubby and as...

Last night I took a shower with my hubby and as he's washing me...he's telling me all the perversions in his head...hahaha...physically not the best time to laugh but boy did I need it. It was great bonding time and I'm happy to have it. Thank you all for your kind words they really helped me a lot. This is such a great community if sisterhood!

Well so far I've been taking it pretty easy. It's...

Well so far I've been taking it pretty easy. It's weird but Im not obsessed with my insicion location or if I'm swollen or what size my boobs are...its really weird to me.because I thought I would be. Go figure! I'm not on any meds. I do take two Advil here and there. The boobs are getting softer each day and they seem to be dropping little by little. I have the same nipple sensation...that's a plus! My tummy is a little swollen but I'm not worried about it. Got some action the other night!! That's right ladies..not full out sexual encounter...fulfilling both physically ans emotionally. In case your wondering, I kept the garment on...its an open crotch...so there you go. I'm now able to be downstairs with the family and my little boy is trying to be careful around me...the older one is super protective of me, he's very helpful. Hope everyone is doing well! I'll try to take some pics tonight.

I’m almost 3 weeks out. I’m still hunched over...

I’m almost 3 weeks out. I’m still hunched over not too, too bad. My little 2 year old can run laps around me!
I still have not actually seen any of my incisions. I have all of the strips still on; one is starting to peel off…just one. My belly is a little swollen but I’m sure it won’t stay that way for ever. I’m still taking it easy and not doing too much. My PS told me I can start using spanx instead of the binder. So I went and bought a pair…that evil thing kicked my butt!! It was so hard to pull it up and take it down. Once it’s on…wow…you are totally compressed but I’ll wait until next week to start wearing it since using my upper body still feels weird.
My boobs have dropped a little more and are starting to soften up. The breast fold actually covers most of the strips. I have to raise my fold to check on them. I’m not sure if everyone gets this but I had “morning boob” (when you wake up with your muscles/boobs hard). This was mostly annoying than painful and it’s now starting to go away. I do have one major complaint – I have hypersensitive nipples. God Lord! I’ve read that the nerves have been stretched and this will get better. It feels like when you’re first breastfeeding…that initial pain from all the friction…kind of like that. So I’ve been using lanolin (Medela) and just putting it on is soothing…I hope that helps until it goes away. I am doing massages and they are helping with the healing. I think waiting for them to settle is going to kill me…uughh.
Other than that everything is going well.
I’m on FMLA for 6 weeks and receiving STD for that time period. I know when I was first researching I wondered about that but didn’t find many answers. I’ll be happy to answer any questions about this.
Wish you all the best!

Well today I'm back at work and today I'm 6wks PO....

Well today I'm back at work and today I'm 6wks PO. My swelling hasn't been that bad up until today. Damn this swelling!! Oh well.
Boobs: there at times when I think I went too big. And it doesn't help that my husband keeps mentioning the size. He of course likes them...me I'm hoping they get a little smaller when settled. They are getting super soft and no longer bothersome. When I look down to see my tummy incision all I see are boobs. Lol...I guess I'm just not used to them yet.
Tummy: swelling has been okay, not too bad but its there. My incision is still half way covered with tape, so I haven't seen it all. What I am able to see is really, really good. It's like a thin white line. I'm hoping that it heals like my c-section...that would be awesome. I'm moving around and able to stand about 90-95% erect.
I should mention that on my last appointment my PS said that my boobs look good and they will fit me really well (he's the conservative type, so that gives me hope).
Oh, I saw my BB. It's a little triangular but its super cute.
Well ladies, I hope you are all healing well and taking it easy.

10mos later! Let's start with the boobs.

I feel more feminine! I no longer feel awkward nude. Sex is awesome always has been but much more confident in my skin. The scars underneath are barely visible. I can't see them unless I lift my boobs.
I went with 400cc and I still feel like they are big on me. My husband loves them but I just don't know. I didn't want large boobs. Just "big enough". But going any smaller would not have been an option. My breast width is on the larger side for my body, so a significantly smaller implant would have given me a tennis ball in a sock look...no thanks! I just feel wide and out of proportion. I do however still fit in all of my clothes (not bras) so they can be that big...right?
Bras. I hate them. At VS I measure 32dd or 34d neither one is truly a good fit. I found that wireless bras feelost comfortable. I bought some GAPbody ones. I'm a 34c there. I think the difference in size is because my boobs are not confined in the wire cup. Maybe?
I have lost sensitivity of the nipples. Not all, just enough to notice...mostly at the tips.
Overall, I'm happy. I feel comfortable and feminine. I'm thankful my body accepted them and I had not complications.
I'll post some pics tonight and please give me your opinion on the size. Be honest! Either way I don't plan on changing them.

10mos later **pics**

Let me know what you think please!
Lone Tree Plastic Surgeon

Lots of internet research! His website is great, very informational! I loved that he educates and didn't try to sell me anything. My patient coordinator Tammy is great, super helpful and answers my questions rapidly.

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