Explant, full capsule removal. UK. Cheadle, GB

I can't say that this whole experience has been easy but I've got to 12 weeks without having a major breakdown! I'm bored now of thinking about my boobs, the why/where/how and what was I thinking questions. I'm done with it. How I felt when I was younger, I don't feel like that now. I have no idea why some of us girls think that by having two bags of plastic in our chest we would feel more feminine. Real breasts are much more feminine and although mine have been through the mill with all the internal scarring, I find them much prettier than the old pair, I didn't expect to feel that way. I still have more swelling so be warned if you're having en bloc removal you may be like me, it just goes on and on My breasts were so jelly like for 10 weeks, horrible but now I can feel the tissue and it's such a relief. It is lovely to have soft breasts, to not worry about capsular contracture and rupturing, looking fake. My new breasts certainly couldn't be taken for fake! They are small sagging and different sizes but oh well. I'm hoping Gary Ross can help me the left one, it's sustained more trauma and puckers a little, it's as if I've got cellulite on my boob. Thank you so much for everyone who has shared their story, it's been invaluable to see the healing process in other women's stories.

I haven't got any before pics, I wasn't expecting to do a review! I think I am/was a B. I was a DD with the implants, too big for my small frame which without a doubt stretched my skin and breast tissue. If Mr Ross had done the original implants I know that I'd have had the right size for me.

Like many I was a naive, ill-informed 20 something with small breasts. I got my first BA 21 years ago and although I was shocked to find they didn't feel like normal breasts I loved them. The first set which were wonderful and relatively realistic in their look and feel were replaced by my ordinal surgeon under insurance as they were found to contain an industrial grade silicone. The surgeon had clearly no record of what size I'd had originally had, as the implants i received second time round were larger. I could only wear soft bras as under wired bras made me feel I could eat my dinner off them. As the years passed, my breasts became firmer and the left breast that had always felt stuck now didn't move at all. For the last 5 years I tried to disguise them best I could, my friends breasts all sagged but mine remained upright, it became obvious to me how fake they looked. I'd buried my head in the sand for too long and started to look for a surgeon I could trust. My research took me to Mr Gary Ross based at The Alexandra hospital Cheadle. I wasn't looking to remove the implants I just wanted smaller implants. I'd clearly got a CC in both breasts, I'd no idea what size my implants were, no idea if they were under/over the muscle (why did I not know any of this?). Mr Ross suggested an explant en bloc, with new implants and a possible lift 3-6 months later which would let my breasts heal and take me back to being more of a primary patient lessening the possibility of future CC. I was horrified! No implants for a minimum of 3 months? Mr Ross suggested that I may even be happy after the explant as many of his previous patients were satisfied with their results. I left his office in shock, my husband and I had joked previously about rock in a sock and spaniels ears and I'd discarded any talk of going back to au natural. I decided no way, I'll take my chances, I'll go back and negotiate a straight exchange. The negotiation didn't work and I was advised that for the best cosmetic outcome it was in my interest to do the explant. I trusted Mr Ross's advice and knew he was right, I could hide my non breasts over the winter from work colleagues and friends but In my heart I knew I wouldn't be going back for more implants. Emotionally here in lies my problem, my implants were far from perfect but I just wanted smaller ones. I wasn't suffering from pain or unexplained fatigue, I hadn't come to end of the road with them. Three consultations later and 8 weeks ago I was explanted. Mr Ross did a great job of removing the thick scar tissue that had formed around the implants. After the initial elation of getting through the operation I struggled emotionally and had a complete sense of humour failure for 6 weeks. I wore a bra 24/7 as the swelling was quite severe and I hated the feeling of having no boobs. I couldn't look at myself in a mirror. I didn't want my husband to see what I looked like especially as the swelling had changed the shape so much. I really wanted to feel delighted and liberated like so many others on this site but I didn't and even now I don't! At my 6 week check I just cried in Mr Ross's office, I'd been dodging mirrors for 6 months. Don't get me wrong I have boobs, they haven't caved and they aren't disfigured , in a bra (padded) they look fine. It's just they look sad, deflated and the left is a lot smaller and they don't have much shape, they are much smaller than before my BA I haven't put on any weight over the last 20 years (which I count myself lucky). So onwards and upwards I'm no longer depressed, I've shown my husband (in a dimly lit room) who seems nonplussed by the whole explant saga. I not happy with my new look but I'm willing to give it ago. I've still got swelling so in another month or so I'll know what I'm working with. I no longer jump in the shower if my husband is shaving, I wait until the coast is clear, I'd rather be late for work! Even just after 8 weeks, It's amazing that you do adjust to your new look, I've found many benefits to being implant free. This week I hugged my sister properly for the first time in 20 years, I can zip up my coats, I don't worry about brushing against someone and knocking them out and my boobs do now lightly bounce when I'm walking instead of thudding. I'm more confident in every aspect than in my 20's, youth is wasted on the young. Going forward I have a date in the diary to see Mr Ross about a possible fat transfer to improve the shape. He does lovely boob jobs and I've been tempted to shout " just book me in now". I don't regret my implants in any way but I think my love affair is over.